Anxiety disorder in 4 year old


Anxiety disorders in children - NHS

It's normal for children to feel worried or anxious from time to time – such as when they're starting school or nursery, or moving to a new area.

But for some children, anxiety affects their behaviour and thoughts every day, interfering with their school, home and social life.

This is when you may need professional help to tackle it.

Symptoms of anxiety in children

Signs to look out for in your child are:

  • finding it hard to concentrate
  • not sleeping, or waking in the night with bad dreams
  • not eating properly
  • quickly getting angry or irritable, and being out of control during outbursts
  • constantly worrying or having negative thoughts
  • feeling tense and fidgety, or using the toilet often
  • always crying
  • being clingy
  • complaining of tummy aches and feeling unwell

Separation anxiety is common in younger children, whereas older children and teenagers tend to worry more about school or have social anxiety.

How to help your anxious child

If your child is having problems with anxiety, there's plenty you can do to help.

Above all, it's important to talk to your child about their anxiety or worries.

Read more about how to help an anxious child, including self-help tips for parents of anxious children.

Many children at different ages may have anxieties that will go away after a while, with your reassurance.

However, it's a good idea to seek professional help or reassurance yourself if your child is constantly anxious and:

  • it's not getting better, or is getting worse
  • self-help is not working
  • it's affecting their school or family life, or their friendships

Where to get help for anxiety

An appointment with a GP is a good place to start.

You can talk to the GP on your own or with your child, or your child might be able to have an appointment without you.

If the GP thinks your child could have an anxiety disorder, they may refer them for an assessment with your local children and young people's mental health services (CYPMHS).

Specialist CYPMHS are NHS mental health services that focus on the needs of children and young people. CYPMHS workers are trained to help young people with a wide range of problems, including anxiety.

If your child does not want to see a doctor, they may be able to get help directly from a local youth counselling service. For more information, visit Youth Access.

Treatments for anxiety disorders in children

The type of treatment offered will depend on your child's age and the cause of their anxiety.

Counselling can help your child understand what's making them anxious and allow them to work through the situation.

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a talking therapy that can help your child manage their anxiety by changing the way they think and behave. Learn more about CBT.

Anxiety medicines may be offered to your child if their anxiety is severe or does not get better with talking therapies. They're usually only prescribed by doctors who specialise in children and young people's mental health.

What causes anxiety disorders in children

Some children are simply born more anxious and less able to cope with stress than others.

Children can also pick up anxious behaviour from being around anxious people.

Some children develop anxiety after stressful events, such as:

  • frequently moving house or school
  • parents fighting or arguing
  • the death of a close relative or friend
  • becoming seriously ill or getting injured in an accident
  • school-related issues like exams or bullying
  • being abused or neglected

Children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and autistic spectrum disorders are more likely to have problems with anxiety.

More information and support

For you

  • Mental Health Foundation: The Anxious Child – a booklet for parents and carers
  • Royal College of Psychiatrists: worries and anxieties – helping children to cope
  • YoungMinds Parents Helpline – call 0808 802 5544 (Monday to Friday 9.30am to 4pm, free for mobiles and landlines)

For your child

  • YoungMinds: anxiety
  • Childline: managing your anxiety

Page last reviewed: 1 December 2020
Next review due: 1 December 2023

Anxiety in Children: What's Normal & When to Get Help

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Children's anxiety. How to help an anxious child? | "Four-leaf clover"

Children's anxiety

Anxiety is commonly referred to as an increased tendency to experience apprehension and worry. In some situations, anxiety is justified and even useful: it mobilizes a person, allows you to avoid danger or solve a problem. This is the so-called situational anxiety. But sometimes anxiety accompanies a person in all life circumstances, even objectively favorable ones. That is, it becomes a stable personality trait. Such a person experiences constant unaccountable fear, an indefinite sense of threat. Any event is perceived as unfavorable and dangerous.

An anxious child is constantly depressed, on guard, it is difficult for him to establish contact with others, the world is perceived as frightening and hostile.

An anxious child is constantly depressed, on guard, it is difficult for him to establish contact with others, the world is perceived as frightening and hostile. Low self-esteem and a gloomy look at the future are constantly fixed.

Signs of anxiety:

  • The child cannot work for a long time without getting tired
  • He has difficulty concentrating on something
  • Any occupation causes unnecessary anxiety
  • During the performance of the task is very tense, constrained
  • Embarrassed more than others
  • Often talks about tense situations
  • Blushing in unfamiliar surroundings
  • Complains about having nightmares
  • His hands are usually cold and damp
  • He often has stool disorder
  • Sweats profusely when excited
  • Does not have a good appetite
  • Sleeps restlessly, falls asleep with difficulty
  • Shy, many things cause him fear
  • Usually restless, easily upset
  • Often unable to hold back tears
  • Does not tolerate waiting well
  • Doesn't like to take on new business
  • Unsure of yourself and your abilities
  • Afraid to face difficulties

Childhood anxiety at different ages

Preschool anxiety
It is often difficult for parents to understand why their child may be worried. Well, what problems can there be at his age: dressed, well-fed, the yard is full of friends, a lot of toys, loving relatives ?!
However, the presence of childhood anxiety problems signals that in the life of a small person, not everything is as smooth as it seems to adults. This condition should never be ignored. In addition, it doesn’t matter if you have a son or a daughter, at this age anxiety does not depend on the child’s gender.

Anxiety is inherent in a person, regardless of age. In children from 1 to 3 years of age, the most common fears are caused by sharp loud sounds, sudden pain, for example, during vaccinations, and as a result, a negative reaction to doctors. In the age range from 3 to 5 years, anxiety in preschoolers often manifests itself in the form of fears such as fear of the dark, closed space, and loneliness. At the age of 5 to 7 years, fear of death is often added. If you notice anxiety in your child, in no case should you let this problem go by itself.

In the age range from 3 to 5 years, anxiety in preschoolers often manifests itself in the form of such fears as fear of the dark, closed space, loneliness. At the age of 5 to 7 years, fear of death is often added.

School anxiety
The age from 7 to 11 years can become very difficult. At this time, the child's life changes, he becomes an adult, he is entrusted with the mission of studying well, behaving correctly, being better, diligent, smarter than his peers.

Usually, anxiety manifests itself 1.5 months after the start of the school year, it is in connection with this that schoolchildren need rest - holidays from 1 to 1.5 weeks.


Usually, anxiety manifests itself 1.5 months after the start of the school year, it is in connection with this that schoolchildren need rest - holidays from 1 to 1.5 weeks.

Sometimes anxiety is related to more serious problems. So, with the help of a professional psychologist at the Four-Leaf Clover Clinic of Restorative Psychology, a child can be diagnosed with a mental disorder, neurosis at an early stage.

Where does increased anxiety come from?

  1. If there is a constant anxious and suspicious atmosphere in the house. If the parents themselves are constantly afraid of something and worry about something. This condition is very contagious, the child adopts from adults an unhealthy form of reaction to everything, even to ordinary life events.
  2. If the child lacks information (or uses incorrect information). Try to keep track of what he reads, what programs he watches, what emotions he experiences. It is sometimes difficult for adults to understand how children interpret this or that event.
  3. Anxious children can grow up not only with anxious parents. The authoritarian style of parenting in the family also does not contribute to the inner peace of the child.

Parents who do not doubt and do not worry know exactly what and how to achieve in life. And most importantly - what they want to achieve from their child. Such a child must constantly live up to the high expectations of adults. He is in a situation of constant and intense expectation: he managed or failed to please his parents. It is especially difficult for a child if the demands and reactions of adults are unpredictable and inconsistent.

A child's internal conflict can be caused by:

  • Contradictory demands made by parents or parents and the school (kindergarten). For example, parents do not let their child go to school because they feel unwell, and the teacher puts a “deuce” in a journal and scolds him for skipping a lesson in the presence of other children.
  • Inadequate requirements, most often overstated. For example, parents repeatedly repeat to the child that he must certainly be an excellent student, they cannot come to terms with the fact that the child receives at school not only "five" and is not the best student in the class.
  • Negative demands that humiliate the child, put him in a dependent position. For example, a caregiver or teacher says to a child: “If you tell me who behaved badly in my absence, I won’t tell my mother that you got into a fight.”

Experts believe that in preschool and younger preschool age boys are more anxious, and after 12 years - girls. At the same time, girls are more worried about relationships with other people, and boys are more worried about violence and punishment.

Having committed some “unseemly” act, the girls worry that their mother or teacher will think badly of them, and their girlfriends will refuse to be friends with them. In the same situation, boys are likely to be afraid that they will be punished by adults or beaten by their peers.

How to help an anxious child?

  • Raise the child's self-esteem

To achieve success in this matter, it is necessary that an adult himself see the dignity of the child, treat him with respect (and not just with love) and be able to notice all his successes, even the smallest ones.

  • Teaching a child to manage their behavior

It is necessary to teach the ability to manage oneself in situations that cause the greatest anxiety in the child

  • Teach the child to relax

It is important for all children to be able to relax, but for anxious children it is simply a necessity, because the state of anxiety is accompanied by a clamping of different muscle groups.
It is very useful for such a child to attend group psycho-corrective classes - after consultation with a psychologist. The topic of childhood anxiety is well developed in psychology, and usually the effect of such activities is palpable.

Prevention of anxiety. Recommendations to parents.

  • Communicating with your child, do not undermine the authority of other significant people.

For example, you can’t say to a child: “Your teachers understand a lot, better listen to your grandmother!”.
Be consistent in your actions, do not forbid the child for no reason what was allowed before.

  • Consider children's abilities, do not demand from them what they cannot do.

If a child is given some kind of educational Subject with difficulty, it is better to once again help him and provide support, and when even the slightest success is achieved, do not forget to praise him.

  • Trust your child, be honest with him and accept him for who he is.

If for some objective reasons it is difficult for a child to study, choose a circle for him to his liking so that classes in it bring joy to the child and he does not feel disadvantaged.

If parents are not satisfied with the behavior and success of their child, this is not a reason to deny him love and support. Let your child live in an atmosphere of warmth and trust, and then all his many talents will manifest.

If you have any questions on this topic, write or call us +7 (3822) 33–44–77.
Yours truly, Four Leaf Clover.

We wish you happiness and prosperity!

We recommend you specialists: Kupriyanova Irina Evgenievna, Zaichenko Tatyana Vladimirovna, Serykh Nadezhda Sergeevna, Glushko Tatyana Valerievna

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Anxiety in children - causes, symptoms and treatment

  • Definition and explanation of anxiety
  • What is the danger of increased anxiety
  • Types
  • Causes of
  • Diagnostics
  • What to do: tips for parents

Among all the problems in child psychology, increased anxiety in a child stands out. More often than not, only behavioral disorders occur. In general, clinical signs of anxiety can be detected in almost 10% of children of preschool and school age, and the numbers are steadily increasing.

Anxiety is typical for children of both sexes, but there is a difference in the intensity of its experience and the scope of possible factors. So, if we are talking about preschoolers and elementary school, boys are more anxious, and in secondary school and puberty, girls are more likely to be anxious. For boys, the most disturbing areas are violence and the possibility of punishment, for girls - relationships with relatives and strangers. Source:
I.I. Khaprenkov. The problem of studying anxiety in children from the point of view of developmental psychology // Eurasian Scientific Journal, 2016, pp. 302-303.

In adolescence, anxiety can have a mobilizing effect, motivate to certain activities. But for preschoolers or children in elementary school, increased anxiety only affects negatively. If children are constantly afraid of mistakes, trying to control themselves, this leads to problems in daily activities. In addition, constant anxiety and anxiety in children can significantly affect the level of self-esteem, underestimating it. Often, the child's constant anxiety may indicate difficulties with emotional adjustment, an adequate response to certain social situations. This provokes uncertainty in their strengths and capabilities.

Definition and explanation of the problem of anxiety in a child

We all experience fear from time to time - both quite real and irrational, associated with our thoughts and feelings. This is one of the mechanisms for the survival of man as a species. Children at different ages are dominated by certain fears associated with the stages of their psychological development and the acquired experience of socialization. So, at an early age, fears of pain, darkness or objects, sounds predominate in children, at preschool age there is often a fear of death, younger students are typically afraid that they will lose the respect and appreciation of their parents and others. For adolescents, the fear of loneliness, enclosed spaces, and crowds is typical. But it is important to determine where ordinary fears and anxieties turn into pathology . Episodic fears and anxiety are the norm, they are always tied to specific circumstances. But the pathological level of anxiety in a child is a stable condition with clinical symptoms, which is not tied to specific circumstances and real threats to life and health. That is, a child with pathological anxiety is always worried, even when there are no reasons for this, he cannot relax, he is always tense.

Why increased anxiety is dangerous

Excessive anxiety of children leads to overwork, decreased performance, reduces the chances of revealing all the talents of the child. The resources of the body are spent on the suppression of emotions and fears, and not on productive activity . If the problem is not solved, it can result in neurosis, depression and personality changes. In addition, full communication with others - peers and adults - suffers. Such children are more likely to become dependent on leaders, they can become members of not the best companies.

Types of anxiety

It is important for a psychologist to identify the type of anxiety in children. There is situational anxiety - an emotional state caused by external factors. The second type is personal anxiety, a stable trait, an individual feature. It manifests itself as a tendency to excessive, frequent and strong experiences, anxiety due to various circumstances.

Moderate anxiety in certain situations is necessary and useful, but if it goes beyond rational boundaries, this is already a maladjustment reaction that disrupts the organization of the child's behavior and activities.

Causes of anxiety in a child

The condition can be provoked by serious events in a child's life: the death of loved ones, the divorce of parents, failures in school. The risk of anxiety is especially high if these events influence together, burdening each other. But often the problem of children's anxiety lies in the parents themselves or adults who constantly communicate with the child, in the methods of education, the anxiety of the parents themselves, who express it with the baby.

Types of parents who can provoke problems for children:

  • Nesting parents. They try to protect children from any problems and dangers. Due to hyper-guardianship, children cannot be independent, feel defenseless before the world and cannot achieve success on their own.
  • Parents-projectors, who themselves have not achieved much success in life, are trying to realize them in their child. Or another option - people with a high position in society require their offspring to comply with the status. The desire to adjust the child to ideals leads to anxiety, the baby is afraid to disappoint his parents and not justify their hopes.
  • Spartan parents. They want by hook or by crook to educate character and will, too "tightening the screws." They ignore or ridicule the problems of children, which leads to the fact that the child feels like a failure. Source:
    O.A. Andrienko. Fears and anxiety in children of primary school age // Humanitarian Balkan Research, 2019, vol. 3, No. 2 (4), pp. 63-65

There are also mixed types of parents, as well as grandparents, older brothers and sisters who influence the child. It is also worth highlighting three types of special requirements that can lead to internal conflicts in the child's personality, which serves as a provocateur of increased anxiety:

  • Requirements that contradict each other. When parents cannot agree among themselves, or when the wishes of the parents go against the school rules.
  • Requirements that are too high or inadequate for the age and abilities of the child. For example, if a child is not capable of sports achievements due to anatomy and physiology, and parents certainly want to make him a sports star.
  • Negative (or negative) demands that humiliate the honor and dignity of the baby, emphasizing his dependence on the decisions of adults. For example, male fathers demand to stop being capricious, otherwise they will not buy toys for the child or will not take it with them.

Anxiety diagnostics

In order to start overcoming anxiety in children, it is important to correctly and timely recognize the problem. Most children do not tell their parents about problems, and teenagers deny any trouble at all. Therefore, along with changes in mood and behavior, it is important to note external symptoms in a child: chills or hot flashes, sweating, hand tremors, increased heart rate, shortness of breath, muscle tension. Children may complain of chest pain, numbness in the limbs, headache, dizziness, or lightheadedness.

To diagnose anxiety, you can use the Lavrenteva and Titarenko scale, as well as the CMAS criteria. They involve a number of questions. Each affirmative answer is 1 point. Questions relate to the child's behavior, his emotions, communication with peers, statements. If, after completing the survey, almost the maximum scores (up to 15-20) are scored, the child has increased anxiety. With an average score (up to 7-14), the degree of severity is average, up to 6 points - the risks are low.

What to do: tips for parents

Having learned about the problem, there is no need to worry and panic, especially with a child. It is necessary to systematically work with children to reduce anxiety. As you grow older, the problem gradually weakens, but you should not wait for everything to go away on its own. Otherwise, by an older age, this can result in depressive disorders, motivation and life success will decrease.

There are a number of tips for relieving anxiety in children that parents should keep in mind.

First of all:

  • You can not threaten the child, including physical punishment or unrealistic actions ("I will give you to strangers if you do not obey," etc.). Children take their parents' words seriously.
  • Give up screaming, swearing at the child, especially in front of other people.
  • You can not use derogatory expressions and insults, they reduce the self-esteem of children.
  • It is worth abandoning the practice of comparing a child with other children, no matter how this comparison is (positive or negative).
  • You should not constantly criticize the child, it is better to translate it into the category of advice (but in moderation) or instructions.
  • There is no need to make excessive demands on the child, you always need to take into account his individuality.
  • Give up the practice of apologizing for any wrongdoing. It is important that children honestly explain the reasons for their behavior.
  • There is no need to demand courage, children need to get used to the new environment or people.
  • It is not necessary to force the child to compete with others, especially in those areas where he is not strong.
  • You can not question the authority of other people (coach, teacher at school), demanding that the child listen only to you.

To help eliminate anxiety, parents need to make an effort to connect with the child and change their own behavior. It is important to address the baby by name, look into the eyes when talking, increase the volume of affectionate touches - all this increases the level of trust. Discuss the successes of the child with other family members more often, look for reasons for praise, even in small things.

It is important to allow the child to communicate with friends in his home, to arrange holidays with them. This is extremely important for socialization.

In punishments and rewards, one must be consistent, if one thing was promised, one cannot do something completely different on another day. You should always follow the established rules yourself before demanding it from children.

It is important to achieve a single line of education by all family members so that the child does not have a double feeling regarding the reaction to the educational process.

It is important to discuss with the child all his difficulties of communication and learning, developing strategies for achieving success, set an example of positive expectations from the future.

If all these efforts of parents do not bring results, it is important to turn to a professional psychologist for help.


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