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Activities to bring couples closer together


Activities for Couples to Get Closer

It’s normal to feel disconnected from your partner from time to time. It happens to the healthiest of couples.

We are all busy. We all have things that should’ve been done yesterday. We may be parents, which adds an extra layer of hectic. We may have demanding jobs or several jobs. We may have completely different schedules from our partners.

So we asked two relationship experts to share several activities couples can do to reconnect and get closer.

Practice daily GEMS.

GEMS is an acronym for “Genuine Encounter Moments,” according to Olga Bloch, LCMFT, a therapist who specializes in working with couples in Rockville, Md. This is simply a time when one partner shares something about themselves or their day, while the other partner listens and then asks three questions to deepen the conversation.

Questions might include: “What was that like for you? Did you enjoy that? [Will you] tell me more about your experience?”

This can take just five minutes, and includes partners giving each other their undivided attention — no phones, TV or eating, she said.

Bloch shared this example: Let’s say your partner tells you they had a bad day. You respond with: “It sounds like it was difficult; what happened?” He or she reveals there was a big argument with his or her mom because both of you aren’t going to her house for the holidays.

You respond with: “That must have been so hard for you. What else was hard for you?” He or she shares the various hurtful comments Mom made. Then you say: “What can I do to help you feel better? How can I support you?” and listen intently as he or she shares their response.

In another example, your partner wants to go bike riding on the weekends, so you ask these questions, Bloch said: What do you like about biking? What was your experience of bike riding from the first time you tried it? Is there anything I can do to support this important hobby?

Learn each other’s love language.

Along with your partner, take this test to determine each of your love languages, said Kirsten Jimerson, MS, LCMFT, a therapist who specializes in working with couples in Bethesda, Md.

Your love language will fall into one of five categories: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time or physical touch.

Share your love languages with each other, she said. “You can even come up with some ideas together of activities or things that fall under your love language categories.”

Jimerson also suggested doing something once a day or a few times a week in your partner’s love language to show them you care. For instance, she said, if your partner scored the highest for “words of affirmation,” make it a point to say “I love you,” “Thanks for working so hard,” “It meant a lot to me when you cleaned up after dinner,” “You bring out the best in me,” or “Thank you for the date. I loved spending time with you.”

If it was “physical touch,” she said, hold their hand, stroke their back or spontaneously kiss their cheek or lips.

Read the book All About Us by Phillip Keel.

Bloch suggested reading this book and responding to the questions. “[T]his opens lines of communication without a lot of hard work because couples just answer the questions in the book.”

Create sexual games to enhance physical intimacy.

Bloch shared these examples: “setting a predetermined amount of time for foreplay or role playing and pretending not to know each other.”

Learn something new together.

This might be anything from learning to salsa dance to playing an instrument to learning a new language to trying a new form of exercise, Bloch said. Then talk about the challenges and pleasures of this activity, she said.

Jimerson also shared these additional connection-boosting activities: make your partner breakfast in bed or a special dinner; work on a household chore together and make it into a game; flirt with each other; give eye contact; and learn to fight smarter. For instance, sit down to talk about disagreements. Take a break if tempers flare up, and return to the conversation when both of you have cooled off, she said.

Reconnecting with your partner doesn’t require grand gestures. Sometimes, it can be as simple as asking them how they’re doing and actually listening to the response.

Activities for Couples to Get Closer

It’s normal to feel disconnected from your partner from time to time. It happens to the healthiest of couples.

We are all busy. We all have things that should’ve been done yesterday. We may be parents, which adds an extra layer of hectic. We may have demanding jobs or several jobs. We may have completely different schedules from our partners.

So we asked two relationship experts to share several activities couples can do to reconnect and get closer.

Practice daily GEMS.

GEMS is an acronym for “Genuine Encounter Moments,” according to Olga Bloch, LCMFT, a therapist who specializes in working with couples in Rockville, Md. This is simply a time when one partner shares something about themselves or their day, while the other partner listens and then asks three questions to deepen the conversation.

Questions might include: “What was that like for you? Did you enjoy that? [Will you] tell me more about your experience?”

This can take just five minutes, and includes partners giving each other their undivided attention — no phones, TV or eating, she said.

Bloch shared this example: Let’s say your partner tells you they had a bad day. You respond with: “It sounds like it was difficult; what happened?” He or she reveals there was a big argument with his or her mom because both of you aren’t going to her house for the holidays.

You respond with: “That must have been so hard for you. What else was hard for you?” He or she shares the various hurtful comments Mom made. Then you say: “What can I do to help you feel better? How can I support you?” and listen intently as he or she shares their response.

In another example, your partner wants to go bike riding on the weekends, so you ask these questions, Bloch said: What do you like about biking? What was your experience of bike riding from the first time you tried it? Is there anything I can do to support this important hobby?

Learn each other’s love language.

Along with your partner, take this test to determine each of your love languages, said Kirsten Jimerson, MS, LCMFT, a therapist who specializes in working with couples in Bethesda, Md.

Your love language will fall into one of five categories: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time or physical touch.

Share your love languages with each other, she said. “You can even come up with some ideas together of activities or things that fall under your love language categories.”

Jimerson also suggested doing something once a day or a few times a week in your partner’s love language to show them you care. For instance, she said, if your partner scored the highest for “words of affirmation,” make it a point to say “I love you,” “Thanks for working so hard,” “It meant a lot to me when you cleaned up after dinner,” “You bring out the best in me,” or “Thank you for the date. I loved spending time with you.”

If it was “physical touch,” she said, hold their hand, stroke their back or spontaneously kiss their cheek or lips.

Read the book All About Us by Phillip Keel.

Bloch suggested reading this book and responding to the questions. “[T]his opens lines of communication without a lot of hard work because couples just answer the questions in the book.”

Create sexual games to enhance physical intimacy.

Bloch shared these examples: “setting a predetermined amount of time for foreplay or role playing and pretending not to know each other.”

Learn something new together.

This might be anything from learning to salsa dance to playing an instrument to learning a new language to trying a new form of exercise, Bloch said. Then talk about the challenges and pleasures of this activity, she said.

Jimerson also shared these additional connection-boosting activities: make your partner breakfast in bed or a special dinner; work on a household chore together and make it into a game; flirt with each other; give eye contact; and learn to fight smarter. For instance, sit down to talk about disagreements. Take a break if tempers flare up, and return to the conversation when both of you have cooled off, she said.

Reconnecting with your partner doesn’t require grand gestures. Sometimes, it can be as simple as asking them how they’re doing and actually listening to the response.

25 things a couple should do together at least once in their lives

Love and sex

Stability is great. But in a relationship, habits can arise that are not far from routine and boredom. Here is a list of things that partners need to do together at least once in their lives to avoid them.

Psychologists have long been interested in the secrets of happy, long-lasting couples. Serious research has shown that four common features can be found in such relationships: 1) it is easy and pleasant for partners to communicate with each other; 2) they like the way they look together, that is, the couple has an attractive image; 3) they have great sex; 4) they make general plans for the future. Try to sort out for yourself a list of things that partners can benefit from doing together ... and feel free to add to it! nine0003

1. Look into each other's eyes for a long, long time. If it works out, then the whole evening is possible! Do not forget that a huge part of communication between people takes place non-verbally.

2. Dress up in strange clothes, such as Halloween costumes, and walk down the street as if nothing had happened. Unexpectedly, but this is very close.

3. Cook food together. And, of course, eat it afterwards. It's a great idea to accurately reproduce the recipe of the most favorite dish from childhood: the better you know each other's tastes, the better you feel for each other. nine0003

4. Long, passionate kiss in a crowded place. By the way, psychologists found that our body begins to produce the "happiness hormone" serotonin when we hug for at least 20 seconds. And if you want to increase the degree of emotions, first try loudly and temperamentally to find out the relationship - like in Italian films.

5. Send intimate photos and sms to each other. You want to say you already? OK, then everything is fine. nine0003

6. Travel or fly to places you have never been before. You can close your eyes and poke your finger at the globe; you can buy a ticket at the station for the first nearest train; you can just go "for reconnaissance" in the neighborhood. New experiences can give shared emotions and memories for life.

7. Write a love letter. More precisely, two: he is for you - and vice versa. Write as best as you can, most importantly - sincerely. If only just to make sure that you know how to express your feelings. By the way, leaving each other funny, cute notes on the fridge or in your coat pocket every day works great too. nine0003

8. Giving gifts to each other for no reason . Once again: for no reason. Just come up with a nice surprise.

9. Pillow fight. Not only because it's great, like in childhood. But also because emotions (any, for example, aggression) are very useful to express in a safe way.

10. Kissing underwater. If everything goes well, you can continue.

11. Rise in a hot air balloon. Option: jump together with a parachute (and an instructor). Or admire the starry sky from the roof of an ordinary city house. In general, something that allows you to “rise above the fuss” and experience strong feelings without extreme risk is welcomed. nine0003

12. Make a snowman. Conscientiously, full size, with a carrot nose. Psychologists say that “it provides an opportunity to practice collaborative skills and creative thinking,” as well as just laugh and have fun.

13. Perform a striptease in turn. By the way, here you are also allowed to laugh and even laugh out loud.

14. Try all the Kama Sutra poses. Well, maybe not every single one - but you will definitely expand your horizons and decide on your preferences. nine0003

15. Read erotic prose aloud to each other. With expression. After that, you can proceed to water procedures.

16. Take a bubble bath together. If it is small at home, you can find another option.

17. Spend the night in a hotel without leaving your own city. Why? First, it is a luxurious romantic gesture. Secondly, you can feel like “perfect strangers” again. And thirdly - take the notorious bubble bath! nine0003

18. Get a massage or couple yoga together. Both perfectly synchronize sensations and improve body contact.

19. Learn to dance the tango (if you don't already dance, which is a pity).

20. Write bucketlist . Let your imagination run wild and let it work on making a list of future goals, plans and common tasks.

21. Go to a luxury car dealership and choose the most luxurious car. nine0010 Discuss its strengths and weaknesses in detail; good to do a test drive. You can also buy it ... well, or a little later.

22. Stay in bed all day. Who said "there is nothing more to do"? Lazy day is a great compatibility training. Eat, sleep, watch TV shows and kiss. By the way, finding a series that captures both is a huge plus for any couple.

23. Swim at night in the sea without swimming trunks and swimwear. The contact of warm water with every cell of the skin gives a fantastic effect. nine0003

24. Organize a blind wine tasting. They don't argue about tastes, but it's good when they are given attention in a couple. By the way, psychologists have calculated: partners who like to meet from time to time for a glass of wine live together longer and feel happier.

25. Have a great photo session with a professional photographer. First of all, it's beautiful... Besides, photos are a memory that will stay with you for a lifetime.

Read also:

How Chemistry arises in sex and whether it is important

5 ways to extend the pleasure in sex

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  • Relations

200 questions for relations for relations

Some questions some questions some questions some questions more serious than others. So consider which couples questions are right for you and your partner.

We have such a wide selection of questions here that I'm sure you'll find the perfect set of questions for you and your relationship. nine0003

📖 Content:

  • Acquaintance with your partner
  • Questions about family and childhood
  • Questions about Relations
  • Questions about sex
  • Questions about the availability of children

Dating with your partner 9000 9000 9000 it is the study of your partner.

This way, you can know what to expect from them, and you can also find out if you are a good match for each other.

  1. What is your ideal way to spend your holidays? nine0003

  2. What makes you dislike a person?

  3. Do you consider yourself a self-confident person? Why or why not?

  4. What are you most proud of?

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  5. What would be your best version of yourself?

  6. What experience did you miss?

  7. When are you really "you"?

  8. What musical instrument would you like to play?

  9. What is the best compliment you have received?

  10. How old would you like to be?

  11. Under what circumstances did you quarrel with some of your close friends?

  12. When did an ordinary event or accident completely change the course of your life? nine0003

  13. Are you satisfied with those around you? Why, why not?

  14. If you could go to any country in the world for one month, where would you go?

  15. What is your favorite memory of someone who is no longer in your life?

  16. How superstitious/superstitious are you?

  17. What was a recurring theme in your life?

  18. What was your most inappropriate or awkward fart? nine0003

  19. What do you think happens after death?

  20. What are your top five rules for life?

  21. What is your favorite thing in your / our house?

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  22. What book or movie would you like to see for the first time?

  23. If you had a friend who spoke to you the way you talk to yourself, would you keep him as a friend?

  24. What little things do people do that get on your nerves? nine0003

  25. What gives meaning to your life?

  26. What would you like to say to people but can't?

  27. What traits do you find most attractive in people?

  28. What secret have you never told anyone?

  29. What little pleasures do you enjoy the most?

  30. Who is the most annoying person you know?

  31. What is your biggest mistake so far? nine0003

  32. What have you been struggling with all your life?

  33. What is the most significant change you would like to make in your life?

  34. What do you want from life?

  35. What calms you the most?

  36. What things do you find disgusting?

  37. What would your ideal life look like?

  38. If you were getting paid to follow your dreams, what would you do/do? nine0003

    👉 We offer you: 250+ Quality Conversation Starters & Questions

  39. What was your most embarrassing story about being sick?

  40. What friend have you not thought about for a long time?

  41. What is the craziest thing that has happened at your job?

  42. With whom do you behave well but secretly dislike?

  43. If money weren't an issue, how would you decorate your / our house without my help? nine0003

  44. How good are you at reading people?

  45. Do you see your future in a positive way?

  46. Who do you want to be like/be like or look up to most?

  47. What were the healthiest and unhealthiest periods of your life?

  48. What is the worst emotional or mental pain you have experienced?

  49. What do you like most about where we live?

  50. What are you worried about?

  51. What did you screw up/ screw up and then try/ try to hide?

  52. What is the scariest / creepiest place you have ever been?

  53. Do you think the world is getting better or worse? Why?

  54. How do you think society is changing? Will we change with him?

  55. The worst thing that people are proud of?

  56. What is the biggest betrayal you have experienced? nine0003

    📖 We offer you: 400+ great questions about icebreakers

  57. What would be the best gift?

  58. What are you afraid of?

  59. What makes you feel super cool/cool?

  60. What would you like your obituary to say?

  61. What takes up too much space in your life?

  62. What is the saddest or happiest realization you have ever had? nine0003

  63. What was the hardest lesson you had to learn?

  64. Would you take $3 million if it meant the person you hate the most in the world would get $9 million?

  65. What part of you as a person still needs a lot of work?

  66. What words of wisdom are stuck in your head?

  67. How well do you know yourself?

  68. What is your best flaw? nine0003

  69. How do you forgive?

  70. Tell me about the time you almost died.

  71. Are you ashamed of what you did in the past? If you feel comfortable talking about it, what was it?

  72. Do you prefer to live in the countryside, in the city or in the metropolis? Why?

  73. What are your fondest memories of a tree/trees?

  74. What are the most pleasant sensations for you?

  75. Are you satisfied with the chosen career path? Or would you like to choose another career?

  76. What is the most unethical thing you do regularly?

    We offer you: Questions for couples Trivia

  77. What can be more difficult than it seems?

  78. What job do you think you were born for?

  79. What was the biggest financial mistake you made?

  80. What makes you lose faith in humanity when you think about it? nine0003

  81. What was the most painful thing you heard?

  82. What do you think are your biases?

  83. What internal struggle do you not tell anyone about?

  84. What luxury item do you sometimes indulge in?

  85. What do you like to do most when you have time?

  86. What is normal now, but in 100 years will be considered unethical and barbaric?

  87. When do you leave to be remembered?

  88. If there was an accident that left you unconscious in intensive care, how long would you like to be in intensive care?

  89. Do you believe in luck and bad luck? What about the things that bring good and bad luck?

  90. If you had a million dollars for charity, what kind of charity would you do?

  91. What are many people afraid of, but you are not? nine0003

  92. If you could open a business, what type of business would you open?

  93. The thing that makes a person automatically unattractive to you, even if they are physically attractive?

  94. What lies have you believed for an incredibly long time?

  95. What are the three most important turning points in your life?

    🤓 We offer you: 80+ first date questions

  96. What animal are you most afraid of? nine0003

  97. What scandal happened in your area or city when you were growing up?

  98. How well do you think you would survive in prison?

  99. What is the most embarrassing social situation you have been in?

  100. What scares you every day?

  101. When was the last time you cried?

  102. What was the most peaceful, calm and pleasant night you had, after which you slept / slept?

  103. What is the most dangerous thrill-seeking thing you would like to do?

  104. What is your biggest regret?

  105. Is it better to trust people or not to trust? And why?

  106. What are your best and worst qualities?

  107. Who do you miss the most?

  108. What is the most difficult life lesson you have learned?

  109. What do you take for granted?

  110. What stressful situation have you ever been in? How did/did you deal with it?

  111. What is the most ambitious thing you have tried/tried to do?

  112. How often do you change your mind? Or how do you see the world?

  113. What was the biggest opportunity you were given?

  114. What should people enjoy more because it won't last long?

  115. What question do you want people to ask more often? nine0003

  116. What is the saddest thing in your life that no one knows about?

  117. What are you most sentimental about?

  118. Do people look down on you more often or, on the contrary, look up to you? Why is that?

  119. What question do you most want answered?

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  120. What are the characteristics of a superficial person? nine0003

  121. What do you look forward to most during the day?

  122. If you could instantly acquire a talent or skill, what would you like to know how to do?

  123. When is your favorite time of day?

  124. What is the best and worst thing about the period of history we are living through?

  125. What is the most useful thing in your daily life?

  126. Strange thing that stresses you more than it should? nine0003

  127. When do you really feel in your element?

  128. How likely are you to believe a conspiracy theory?

  129. Tell us stories from your youth about alcohol?

  130. What is the best way to improve yourself?

  131. What was the most productive time in your life? And the least productive?

  132. What three words best describe you?

  133. How well do you work under pressure?

  134. What is your weakness?

  135. What are the two most important events in your life?

  136. What is bad for you and you know it, but still can't get rid of it?

  137. What is the biggest service you have done for someone?

  138. How is your current morning routine different from your ideal morning routine?

  139. What brings you the most joy? nine0003

  140. What are you deliberately ignoring, even though you know you have to solve it?

  141. What would you like to be better at?

  142. Is there anything you did wrong for many years, only to find out later that you did it wrong?

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Questions about their family and childhood

When you're looking for relationship questions, it's always important to ask questions about family and childhood. Knowing where your partner came from, you can understand what they are now -

  1. What did your parents do that made you extremely embarrassed?
  2. What small, seemingly insignificant thing did your parents or someone else say when you were a child that you remember the whole time?
  3. What is the best or worst thing you have inherited from your parents?
  4. What made you realize that your parents were just people like everyone else?
  5. What habits have you had since childhood?
  6. What family vacation or vacation do you remember as a child? nine0127
  7. How traditional was your family?
  8. Children often look very much like their parents. How do you want to be different from your parents? And how do you want to be like them?
  9. What subjects did you like and hate most at school?
  10. What unusual game did you often play as a child?
  11. What film seriously traumatized you as a child or as an adult?
  12. What irrational fears did you have as a child?
  13. What toy played a significant role in your childhood? nine0127
  14. What are your earliest memories?

Questions about relationships

Here are some basic questions for couples that explore the topic of relationships. It is important to be open-minded when asking and answering these questions. This is not about telling your partner what they are doing wrong or what you want from them. It's about working together as a couple to eventually build a healthy relationship.

📖 We offer you: 200 questions to get to know someone

  1. What do you consider exceptionally kind or caring about what I did?
  2. What new hobbies or activities would you like to try together as a couple?
  3. What is our biggest strength as a couple?
  4. What can we do to strengthen our relationship?
  5. Is there something small we can do for each other every day to make our lives better?
  6. How much space / time alone should people be given when they are in a relationship with each other? nine0127
  7. What questions should partners ask each other before marriage?
  8. What do I do that makes you the happiest person?
  9. How important is it for people in relationships to maintain their own individuality?
  10. What makes our relationship better than others?
  11. What do you think our lives will look like in 10 years?
  12. What do you think will bring us together as a couple?
  13. What memories do you want to create together?
  14. What do you think is an essential part of a successful relationship? nine0127
  15. What is your favorite way to spend time together?
  16. What is your favorite present I gave you?
  17. Where do you want to live when we retire?
  18. In what areas do you think our personalities complement each other? (For example, one is too reckless and the other is too cautious, resulting in a balance).
  19. How well do you think we communicate?
  20. What adventure would you like to go on with me?
  21. What's the best relationship advice you've ever received? nine0127
  22. What do you really like about me?
  23. What do you think is the most difficult thing in a marriage/relationship?
  24. What can I do to help us as a couple?
  25. How do you see your role in our relationship?
  26. What can destroy our relationship that you cannot forgive?
  27. What makes us different from other couples?
  28. What do you think would be the best way to strengthen our relationship?
  29. What are your goals in our relationship?
  30. How realistic do you think couples are in movies and TV?
  31. What does a happy and healthy relationship look like?

Questions about sex

Sex is an important topic of conversation in any relationship. It is important to know what each of you considers a healthy and enjoyable sex life.

📖 Here are 200+ questions to ask a guy!

  1. How do you think our sexual desires match?
  2. How important do you think sex is in our relationship? nine0127
  3. What are you interested in but didn't tell me?
  4. What do I do in bed that drives you crazy?
  5. What is your most adventurous thing that you did/done sexually?
  6. Other than orgasms, what's the best part of sex?
  7. What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you during sex?
  8. When am I the sexiest/sexiest for you?
  9. What would you like me to do in the bedroom to spice things up a bit?
  10. What's better than great sex?
  11. What do I do outside the bedroom that turns you on?

Questions about having children

A couple should be on the same wavelength when it comes to children. There can be a lot of fights and heartache in a relationship if one partner wants kids and the other doesn't, or if you both have very different parenting expectations.

Learn more