You can t have everything

You Can't Have Everything (1937)

Cast & crew
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19371937
PassedPassed
1h 40m

IMDb RATING

6.3/10

247

YOUR RATING

ComedyMusicRomance

Starving playwright Judith Wells meets playboy writer of musicals George Macrae over a plate of stolen spaghetti. He persuades producer Sam Gordon to buy her ridiculous play "North Winds" ju... Read allStarving playwright Judith Wells meets playboy writer of musicals George Macrae over a plate of stolen spaghetti. He persuades producer Sam Gordon to buy her ridiculous play "North Winds" just to improve his romantic chances, and even persuades her to sing in the sort of show she... Read allStarving playwright Judith Wells meets playboy writer of musicals George Macrae over a plate of stolen spaghetti. He persuades producer Sam Gordon to buy her ridiculous play "North Winds" just to improve his romantic chances, and even persuades her to sing in the sort of show she pretends to despise. But just when their romance is going well, Gordon's former flame Lul... Read all

IMDb RATING

6.3/10

247

YOUR RATING

- Norman Taurog
Writers
- Harry Tugend(screen play)
- Jack Yellen(screen play)
- Karl Tunberg(screen play)
Stars
- Alice Faye
- The Ritz Brothers
- Don Ameche

- Norman Taurog
Writers
- Harry Tugend(screen play)
- Jack Yellen(screen play)
- Karl Tunberg(screen play)
Stars
- Alice Faye
- The Ritz Brothers
- Don Ameche

See production, box office & company info

See more at IMDbPro

Photos21

Top cast

Alice Faye

Judy Poe Wells

The Ritz Brothers

The Ritz Brothers
(as Ritz Brothers)

Don Ameche

George Macrae

Charles Winninger

Sam Gordon

Gypsy Rose Lee

Lulu Riley
(as Louise Hovick)

Arthur Treacher

Bevins

Tony Martin

Bobby Walker

David Rubinoff

David Rubinoff
(as Rubinoff)

Phyllis Brooks

Evelyn Moore

Wally Vernon

Tip Tap & Toe

Specialty Dancers in North Winds
(as Tip Tap and Toe)

Louis Prima

Orchestra Leader

George Humbert

Romano

Jed Prouty

Mr. Whiteman

Dorothy Christy

Blonde

Tony Martinelli

Tony Martinelli

John Alban

Theatregoer
(uncredited)

Sam Ash

Publicity Agent
(uncredited)

- Norman Taurog
Writers
- Harry Tugend(screen play)
- Jack Yellen(screen play)
- Karl Tunberg(screen play)
All cast & crew
Production, box office & more at IMDbPro

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Storyline

Did you know

Quotes
Judith Wells: A little exercise won't hurt you.
George Macrae: I get all the exercise I need from going to the funerals of my athletic friends.

User reviews13

Review

Featured review

Fox Musical Stars at their Best

Director Norman Taurog has a witty script and the top musical performers on the Fox lot to direct, and he delivers. The plot is all too familiar and implausible, but the dialogue sparks it. Leads Alice Faye and Don Ameche are at their most charming and natural, and Faye has a couple of solid hit songs. Too bad Ameche wasn't as lucky. The Ritz Brothers have integrated roles in the plot, ample screen time and deliver several excellent numbers. Tip, Tap & Toe wow with a fine eccentric tap number just before the production number (a clinker) at the end of the film. Character comedian Charles Winninger is somewhat wasted in a largely straight role, but Gypsy Rose Lee (billed under her real name, Louise Hovick, gets a break as a playing the snarky "other woman. " Tony Martin has fine pipes but comes off a bit smarmy and mannered in his numbers, and Rubinoff on screen is proof why he was better on radio. Phyllis Brooks and Wally Vernon also deliver snappy bits. Definitely one of the better of 20th Century Zanuck's musicals, although he can't resist his cheesily costumed chorus cuties whose talents are best on display without moving or talking. One chorine with a platter on her head traipsed pigeon-toed down a staircase in a Tony Martin number--at first I thought she was Harry Ritz. I'll watch this film again just to see the Ritz Brothers and Tip, Tap & Toe.

helpful•8

fcullen
Dec 25, 2006

Details

Release date
- August 3, 1937 (United States)
- United States
- English
- Italian
Also known as
- Tri brata uboga
- 20th Century Fox Studios - 10201 Pico Blvd. , Century City, Los Angeles, California, USA
Production company
- Twentieth Century Fox
See more company credits at IMDbPro

Technical specs

1 hour 40 minutes
- Black and White
- 1.37 : 1

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You Can’t Have Everything in Life, and That’s Perfectly Fine

Skip to content You Can’t Have Everything in Life, and That’s Perfectly Fine

Living a full life is a goal worth striving for. We acquire many skills, read volumes of information, meet with all the “right” people, go on frequent travels, and buy loads of stuff. Then, we end up with a busy, unfulfilled life. The truth is you can’t have everything in life, and that’s actually good news! Why? There’s no need to spend so much time and energy trying to do, have, and be everything.

Today’s constant connectivity gives an impression of consistently new things: time-saving procedures, hip places to visit, updated information superseding past ones, and endless people to connect with. What’s more, it appears everyone on the planet is happily adapting to all these new things, with smiling photos to prove it. But impressions (online, especially) can be false, which doesn’t mean there aren’t people out there having, doing, and being all they can be. They simply focus on what they can be, not on everything there is to be. How do you do that?

Know yourself.

Are you drawn to new situations and enjoy conversations? Do you like physical activity? Then you’d enjoy traveling, sports, and meeting new people. Do you lose yourself in the zone while painting, writing, or figuring out accounting challenges? Are you endlessly engaged with projects around the house? Then reading books and studying new stuff are likely more important to you. It’s a simplistic example, but knowing yourself lets you zero in on pursuits that bring fulfillment.

Optimize what you already have.

It sounds basic, but listing down what you have–skills, talents, resources, time, and connections– could surprise you and make you wonder why you’re hankering after stuff when you already have a satisfying scenario. The list also guides you to work within those parameters. You’ll know to postpone overseas holidays if you’ll get into debt and miss a scheduled reunion with former colleagues who are valuable connections. Good decisions come easier when you compare what you want with what you already have and what you could lose.

Balance what’s incoming with outflowing.

By all means, gain skills, expand your experiences, and add to your possessions. Just don’t forget you’re part of humanity. Keep an eye on the big picture. Be conscious of others who know less and have little. Sharing your knowledge and cascading your resources supports the natural, forward flow of abundance. It keeps you meaningfully in touch with others while making space for more in your life.

Welcome spells of doing nothing.

Productivity does not necessarily equate to contentment. Busyness can give a false sense of accomplishment, making you shun inactivity. You become antsy when you’re not occupied doing something. Guess what? You need to do less to BE more. Find the time to just BE–to see where you are, how far you’ve progressed, and who you’ve become. Develop your inner coach or talk to one. Be conscious of how full your life already is, or can be.

Tom Casano2021-02-22T08:41:37-05:00

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Why women don't talk about infertility

Medical issues

Text: Natalia Khorokhorina

Illustrations: Nastya Krzysztof

December 21, 2021

According to world statistics, at least 10%, as a maximum - 20% of the inhabitants of the Earth suffer from infertility. The problem is serious, but it is not customary to talk about it out loud even among very close people. We tell the stories of two women, Anya from Moscow and Katya from Kiev, who learned at different ages that they could not have children. Each handles it differently, and both did not discuss it with their husbands. Anya had her ovaries removed, Katya had two miscarriages. Anya hoped for a miracle, Katya does not hope for anything. Anya would like to believe in medicine, Katya is thinking about adopting a child.

Every fifth woman on the planet can be infertile. According to WHO, infertility rates of 15% or more are a factor that negatively affects the demographic situation in the world. Since 2016, artificial insemination can be done in Russia under the CHI policy. Obviously, this problem is very serious, but it is not customary to talk about it.

"Be fruitful and multiply," says the Bible, but what if you can't have children? Are you not keeping the commandments of God? Will your husband leave you? Will the family turn away? In the Middle Ages, if someone decided that a woman was barren, she was sent to a monastery or burned at the stake. In our humane time, a woman who is not destined to become a mother feels safe.

But why is it still customary to hide infertility even from the closest people?

Ovaries that needed to be removed in time

Anya closed herself in the bathroom, sat on the floor, lit a thin cigarette, opened the zoom window and began her story. She looks to be in her thirties, but she does not want to give an exact age. Beautiful chaos on her head, a dark gray monochrome sweatshirt and a low velvety voice with which she begins to tell her story: “In adolescence, when all my girlfriends started menstruating, they still didn’t come to me. At some point, my mother and I began to go to the doctors. They said that my ovaries were simply not developed and I needed to take hormones. I began to drink them - and menstruation appeared, but went irregularly. At the age of nineteen, I learned that I had a rare syndrome - adrenogenital syndrome, which occurs in one in five thousand newborns. This means that in the mother’s stomach in the second or third month, when the sex of the child is formed, my ovaries rose to where they should be, but they did not develop into female ones, that is, in fact, these are eggs in place of the ovaries. The doctor then said that they need to be removed, and at first I fell for all this. And then I thought that medicine could jump over time - and I could be cured.

When Anya was running away from the hospital from an unconvincing doctor, the wife of Sergei Zhukov, lead singer of the Ruki Vverh! group, was giving birth there. Perhaps one of the many reporters and journalists who were standing at the entrance to the hospital at that moment had a photo of nineteen-year-old Anya running out in the archives. Later, she learned that it was important to remove the ovaries then in order to avoid serious complications - in most cases, adrenogenital syndrome turns into severe oncology. But Anya did not know about all this and did not want to know: life around for a teenager, and then a young girl, was brighter and more interesting than doctors and their diagnoses.

Katya-1

Unplanned marriage to a Greek living with parents

After school, Katya entered a technical school and began working as a waitress in one of Kyiv's restaurants. At nineteen, she thought it would be great to work near the sea, and began by looking for work in Odessa, and as a result got a job on a Greek cruise ship. During her third cruise, Katya met her future husband, a Greek.

“You work on a passenger ship for six months and don't leave it, it's hard work,” she says. “He worked as a steward-captain, which means that he had access to all the dishes that are available to senior officers, and he conquered me through the stomach,” Katya laughs. - Arranged romantic evenings with music and treats. He courted him very persistently, but I immediately warned him that I was not going to build a relationship with a foreigner, because I did not want to leave my mother. He offered to be friends, and after a month and a half we decided to get married.

Approximately a year after the end of the contract on the ship and the execution of all necessary documents, Katya moved to her husband in Athens. He lived with his parents, and Katya's relationship with them did not immediately work out. “I was young, almost a child, I didn’t understand how relationships are built, and I behaved the way I used to at home: I stamped my foot, tapped my pen, and everyone listened. And here I found a scythe on a stone, and it was so hard that at some point I went home to Kyiv. Everything was falling apart. But I decided to give our family a second chance and returned. For a while everything seemed to be going well, and then the crisis came again - and so we had a long time.

She and her husband never discussed the issue of children and only thought about it when they realized that Katya was pregnant. According to her, this was a completely inopportune moment: they were still living with her husband's relatives and could not resolve their internal problems. But the first pregnancy ended very early, and they had not yet had time to feel like future parents.

Ovaries removed too late

When the periods disappeared, Anya again began to go to the doctors. Everything was in vain until she returned to hormones - and this time she took them for three years in a row. One day, the attending physician carefully informed her that it would not be possible to get pregnant naturally and she would need a donor egg. At twenty-one, Anya met a guy, and at twenty-five she married him. He said that he wanted children, told how he would like to raise them, reasoned about what gender they could be, but Anya most often tried to avoid such topics. She never discussed her health problems with him, because, in her opinion, it is never clear how ready a man is to hear it. In the near future, they did not plan children, and Anya did not tell him about her diagnosis, especially since she did not pay special attention to the words of the doctor.

One day Anya decided to go to the gynecologist of her pregnant friend, who told a lot about his professionalism and fame. Anya was twenty-nine, she passed all the necessary tests - and found out that because of the ovaries not removed at an early age, she developed cancer. She was scheduled for an operation - they said that the ovaries need to be freed from the tumors formed on them. At first they were going to remove both ovaries, but then they decided to try to save at least one.

“When you go into surgery, you must indicate in writing who you trust to make decisions for you while you are unconscious. I was put into anesthesia, and after the operation, when I opened my eyes, my mother was sitting next to me sobbing. I asked: “Did you delete everything?” She said yes, because the tumor completely took over the ovaries and both had to be cut out. Well, then another story began - it was necessary to treat oncology, because a large tumor developed due to hormone therapy.

At the same time, Anya's marriage was falling apart at the seams, and after one of the chemotherapy treatments, she and her husband decided to separate. The fact that she has no ovaries and will never have children, Anya decided not to tell him, and he still does not know about it.

Katya-2

Second unplanned pregnancy and second miscarriage

Closer to thirty, Katya and her husband learned to resolve emerging conflicts and quarrels in their family ceased to be so sharp and emotional. By that time, the husband’s mother was no longer alive and they lived with his father: “I don’t think we would have lived together if she was still alive, but at least we would definitely have improved relations. With age, you understand things that you didn’t understand before, because at the age of twenty we were both still inexperienced. ”

During her second pregnancy, Katya and her husband finally lived together. “We already had good salaries, I quit the ship and found myself a job on land, since it would be impossible to work on a liner while pregnant: those few months on a cruise turned out to be difficult even without pregnancy. We could have planned this pregnancy already, but it also turned out to be sudden. And just as suddenly, it stopped. I think the reason was in psychology: I was so afraid that there would be a miscarriage again that I even started having panic attacks. Doctors do not confirm my version, but there is such an opinion, although it has not been proven.

Five years later, at the age of thirty-five, Katya was seized by a panic: she needed to decide something and do something - there are no children, and two miscarriages behind her. Katya tried to find out the stories of different women with similar problems and ways to solve them. “My friend, in order to get pregnant and give birth to a child, drank nine tablets a day for nine months in a row, planted her liver, and the child died at birth. I heard stories about women who stab themselves with various drugs, plant health - good does not come out of this. Over time, I realized that I was not ready to spend my whole life just to give birth to a child. I once asked my husband: “Well, do you think we will plan something in this direction?” He said that life is now unpredictable and maybe we should not do this at all. We realized that we are satisfied with the life we have.” Katya's husband believes that children need more security than they can offer, and it is easier for him to give up the idea of children than to work three jobs to afford everything he needs.

“Of course, there are thoughts that in my sixty or seventy years I will regret our decision. But this is about the notorious fear “who will bring a glass of water”. But five children are not a guarantee that someone will bring a glass of water. I, of course, think about how I can provide for my old age when I become infirm. And yet I don’t know how to solve this issue ... We have many unmarried and unmarried friends, and they don’t have such a panic about this. In Europe, women give birth when they are confident in the future. A woman is more valuable here than a child, although children are loved here. But it will not be sacrificed, just to reproduce offspring. In Europe, the individual is at the center, what is important for his well-being, and not for the vague concept of “society”.

In English there is such a thing as collateral damage. For example, when ordinary people die during a war, they say that these are collateral losses. Here is the same in the countries of the former Soviet Union. It doesn’t matter that people are unhappy, that women marry alcoholics… The main thing is that we all together are a great country that launched Gagarin into space, that’s what matters,” Katya complains.

An ex-husband who never found out that she couldn't have had a child with him

When Anya heard for the first time at the age of nineteen that she would not be able to have children, she decided that medicine would be completely different in a few years and they would be able to help her. Now she refers to her youthful maximalism, blames the doctors for everything, who did not explain to her the seriousness of the problem, did not warn her of the possible consequences.

“My mother, of course, is psychologically difficult, because she feels her share of guilt that we didn’t stop all this in time and made it to oncology. Of course, I don’t dump the responsibility on her, because this is my decision and “my body is my business”, but when you are nineteen and you don’t have much brains, then you probably need someone nearby the other was with brains. Perhaps if she showed a little more attention to this problem and went to the doctors with me, she would find out everything, then most likely we would come to the conclusion that the ovaries need to be removed in time.

But then my mother was building her personal life. Her parents abandoned her when she was a child, and at the age of eighteen she got married. And, apparently, when I grew up, she exhaled: now you can take care of yourself. She left us with her father and began to live in another place. And I, having already matured and lost time, began to deal with my problem myself and finally found out the exact diagnosis ... I think she feels guilty because of this. Well, dad tries not to think about such things: he basically tries to think less. I have not told any man about this and do not want to.

Only her mother and a couple of her friends know about the fact that Anya will not have children, whom Anya, by the way, never immersed in the details of her medical history: she told them that she would not be able to have children, only after the operation, and one of them said: “Well, fuck it!”, and the second started crying.

Anya has not been living with her husband for three years, but she cannot completely part with him: “I seem to have let him go, but he himself does not leave my life. You know, it's like love in spite of. Such unconditional love. When you are not together with a person, but at the same time you still love him - well, like mothers love their children. No matter what they do and no matter how assholes they are, but they love it - that's all. And here is the same case, only instead of a son - a husband. But for some reason I love him with such an unconditional love. I even went to a psychologist for six months to sort out the problem: I came with one problem, and in six months I found out that I am the most unfortunate person in the world and I have one hundred and one problems. Well, I stopped walking. But, probably, it should be released sometime, after all, he is not my child and I am not obliged to love him all my life.

Today Anya's husband only knows about oncology, which makes it impossible to get pregnant; they rarely see each other and do not discuss this issue in detail. Only once did she casually mention that surrogate motherhood awaits her: “But I didn’t say that the egg would also not be mine, only the sperm would be from a loved one, well, at least that way. Perhaps someday, on his deathbed, when my husband is dying, I will tell him - I will finish him off, as they say, - Anya laughs. “But until then, no. A man does not need to know this at all - it's none of their business. Although most men are so arranged that they need to be sure that their woman is complete. And if not, they may have their own psychological problems. And the gynecologist told me that all the women who confessed to their men that the egg was someone else’s were divorced. And really, what difference does it make? It will still be the child of a man: his sperm means he is the father. It doesn't matter whose egg it was.

“Well, we didn't get to the topic of adopted children,” Anna continues after a pause. - This topic can be discussed when you have a man with whom you are going to build a family. And I can’t imagine how to raise children with the person I love.”

Katya-3

Adoption that requires planning and preparation

Katya's mother was worried that her daughter would not have children, and took it very emotionally. “Of course, she wanted to walk around with a stroller: when your daughter is thirty years old, you are waiting for this, especially when all her friends around already have grandchildren.” They talked a lot with their mother on this topic and thought that if Katya's husband was ready, they would adopt someone, since Katya had such a desire since childhood.

“Mom used to say: 'So I won't babysit? I won’t become a grandmother?“ I encouraged her: maybe the time will come, the husband will be ready - and we will adopt. At some point, when my cousin gave birth, the desire to be realized as the grandmother of my children for my mother lost its relevance. The fact is that Katya's mother's sister, when her daughter, cousin Katya, gave birth, was no longer alive, and therefore Katya's mother completely replaced her own grandmother for the niece's child.

Katya does not know and has never been interested in what her father thinks about her infertility - she never talked to him about it, but she assumes that he sees: Katya is happy - and that is enough for him. He has no desire to become a grandfather, because, according to Katya, everything is arranged a little differently for men. Katya never tried to discuss her problem in detail with her husband, and even more so did not raise the topic of adoption with him. According to her, this would be unacceptable for him: “He decided not to give birth to his own children, but here he was accepted into the family and took responsibility for him.”

Katya says that she is free from most of the stereotypes associated with foster children, but at the same time she understands that in order to take a child, you need to be very well prepared for this. Katya is a member of groups in social networks where adoption is discussed, and, according to her observations, people who intend to adopt a child are very competent in all aspects of this process, they understand not only the peculiarities of the psychology of children from an orphanage, but are also well-versed in legislation and in other "technical" nuances. Katya communicates with families who have adopted children and says that these people are quite happy. She believes: if a married woman wants, but cannot have children, and her husband will support her in any case, they should take up adoption.

“But my husband's financial situation is very important in this matter. Maybe if it improves, I can raise the issue. Now I am forty years old, and in order to finally understand whether we are ready for adoption, we have five years ahead of us. As long as I don't go that far."

There will be no miracle

Anya regrets that then, at nineteen, she did not meet a responsible doctor who would advise her not to hope for a speedy development of medicine, spoke about the consequences that await her if her ovaries were not removed, explained that they formed this way when she was still in mother's womb, and it cannot be cured. “It happens that babies are born without a hand, and nothing can be done here. Probably, you can make a cyber-hand or come up with something else, but a person will never have a full-fledged hand. It’s the same with me,” Anya sighs. It is not clear to her why the doctor to whom she then turned, and other specialists after him, did not say anything like that to her, but continued to prescribe hormones that subsequently stimulated the development of oncology.

“The first time I heard about my infertility was when I had a period of youthful maximalism. Well, in principle, I have always been optimistic and believed in the best - I thought: well, somehow I will start it. And when at twenty-six they told me that I could only have children with a donor egg, I asked the doctor: “Is there really no place for a miracle?” And my doctor said: “In my forty years of practice, it happened three times - when, contrary to all laws and medicine, women got pregnant." And then I thought: well, catch the fourth in this case! Anna smiles wistfully. - Then another doctor explained to me in detail that my syndrome is not treatable, but I still somehow still believed. But when I woke up after the operation to remove the ovaries, I already fully realized that this was all ... I fought and fought for a long time - all these doctors, hopes for a miracle, the church, requests for space. But when everything is removed for you, it remains only to accept your fate. Cancer can be defeated, some other disease, but death cannot be defeated, and this is the death of the ovaries. At first I thought that I could at least endure it myself, but now, most likely, I won’t be able to do that either. And now ... more precisely, not now, but in general - I will never be able to have children. But there is a chance that if I do not have a recurrence of cancer within three or four years, I can take a donor egg, which will be fertilized and put into me. I can endure, but give birth - no: only caesarean. I don’t think it’s something terrible to raise adopted children or those born from a surrogate mother. Well, there will be nothing genetically from me there ... - Anya pauses and concludes: - Well, okay!

Anya discussed with a psychologist the feeling of being an inferior woman, or “not a woman,” and came to the conclusion that this is some kind of karma, a test that she must go through herself: “I quite often swim at the behest of the waves, and some troubles go away by themselves or are resolved, but here . .. this is not the case. Now the problem of infertility is talked about more than before, but we have not yet come to the point where we can talk about it easily. Society will, probably, not just blame, but somehow ... treat differently. Well, this is very personal and important, which is usually not shouted about. It's hard to talk about it. Perhaps this is cowardice. It’s hard to admit that you have a really serious problem.”

Katya-4

Sorrow to be overcome

At the moment when Katya realized that she had almost overcome the painful memories and experiences associated with the last miscarriage, she felt ready to share her experience with other people and maybe help someone else to go through a similar path more easily. Well, in this way, she will complete the process of self-healing. Katya created a YouTube channel and the Life in Me website, where she shared her experience and feelings with her subscribers, offered help to women in such situations. People write to her anonymously; she tries to answer the way she would like to hear when she felt bad, because few people know how, on the one hand, to cope with this on their own, on the other hand, to find the right words for support.

“Most of the time people say the wrong things when a woman is having a miscarriage. For example, “well, you will still have another”, or “young still - you will have time, there is a lot of time ahead”, or “well, I survived - and you will survive”. But it is important for a person to survive his pain, and such words will not help him. At times like these, empathy is essential. And when I offer my support, I give it. Sometimes you just need to listen to a person - he does not need any advice. Most people are emotionally undeveloped. A woman who cannot give birth to a child, or, for example, her husband does not want to, does not face a choice: she has no choice, she simply cannot have children for some reason. And if a woman dreamed of children and wanted them, then this is a loss for her, which must be experienced according to all the principles of mourning, otherwise she will have new problems - psychosomatics, nervousness, dissatisfaction with life, transferring her pain to other life situations. And women who don't know this can't handle their emotions. And the most correct thing would be, when someone raises the topic of children, just get away from it.

That is, if someone asks: “Do you have children? Not? Well, they will be, they will be "- these are the expressions that are especially catchy. After all, a woman knows that nothing will happen or there are difficulties for this to happen. And in such situations, women prefer to remain silent, because they do not know how to cope with their emotions, they do not know that it is normal to experience pain about this, moreover: it needs to be experienced, and it is advisable to talk about it, with someone who in the subject, who will understand you, who is capable of empathy.

Thank God, there is YouTube, and there you can find and listen to stories of how others experienced it. Perhaps even share in the comments: “I also had a miscarriage” or “I just can’t get pregnant.” For many, this is already the beginning of the path to healing. Well, yes, it is easier to hush up a sore subject or react aggressively to questions about children. Yes, and that aunt “originally from the USSR” who asks questions about children - she doesn’t mean anything bad either: indeed, children are happiness. And it is not her fault that she acts according to the stereotypes of her time, that she is not endowed with tact: this also needs to be learned.

Now Katya is no longer working on her channel and website: “I created it when there was nothing like this, and now there are many professional psychologists and other specialists on the Internet who can help. Yes, and I burned my grief.

How I almost lost my children

Postal service, Konstantin Valyakin, Anna Makarova

A samizdat reader tells how she thought all her life that she would always make it, and then went to the hospital with a cyst and almost lost her chance of giving birth

Text

Natalia Khorokhorina

Illustrations

Nastya Krzysztof

Causes of infertility in women

Treatment of infertility

If a woman is faced with the problem of conceiving, it is natural to ask herself what is the reason for this? Read on to find out what can affect fertility and should you seek medical help to get pregnant?

Myth

Myth: Infertility is more often due to problems in women than in men.
TRUTH: Infertility occurs with the same frequency in both women and men. Approximately 1/3 of couples experience infertility in the man, 1/3 in the woman, and 1/3 in both partners. ¹

Is it my fault?

Difficulties with the onset of pregnancy are observed quite often. On average, 9% of the total population has this problem. ²

There are many factors that can cause infertility, so you should not focus on “whose fault it is”.

Approximately 1/3 of infertile couples are caused by a female factor ¹
In 1/3 of couples with infertility, the cause is male factor ¹
In 1/3 of couples with infertility, the cause is a mixed (male and female) factor ¹

Infertility is not a permanent condition, and it does not mean that you will never have children. You may just need specialist help to achieve your pregnancy goal.

What are the causes of female infertility?

After you and your partner have had a reproductive test, your doctor will be able to make a diagnosis that will explain the causes of your infertility.

Unfortunately, in some cases it is not possible to determine a specific factor, so the diagnosis of "infertility of unknown etiology" can be made. In some cases, the doctor may recommend the passage of more advanced and modern methods of infertility treatment - assisted reproductive technologies (ART).

With increasing age, reproductive function begins to decline
A healthy 30-year-old woman is approximately 20% likely to become pregnant every month ³
However, a healthy 40-year-old woman is approximately 5% likely to become pregnant per month ³
As you age, you are more likely to need ART procedures to get pregnant

Problems with ovulation occur in approximately 25% of cases associated with infertility ⁴
In order for a woman to get pregnant safely, ovulation (release of an egg from an ovary) must take place monthly
Ovulation may not occur if the woman has irregular or absent periods, or if the woman is overweight or underweight
Drugs are commonly prescribed to treat ovulation problems ⁴

25-35% of cases of female infertility are associated with obstruction or functional insufficiency of the fallopian tubes ⁶
Fallopian tubes are extremely sensitive to damaging factors
Obstruction of the fallopian tubes may result from a previous infection or surgery on the abdominal organs
Blockage of the fallopian tubes can prevent the passage of spermatozoa to the egg. If fertilization has occurred, then obstruction makes it difficult for the development of the embryo and its passage into the uterine cavity
Obstruction of the fallopian tubes in some cases can be cured with surgical methods. In case of failure of surgical treatment, an in vitro fertilization (IVF) procedure may be required

30-50% of women with endometriosis suffer from infertility ⁷
Endometriosis is a disease in which the endometrium (the tissue lining the uterine cavity) is found in the ovaries, fallopian tubes, on the outer surface of the uterus, and in other parts of the body ¹
Endometrium can cause painful, heavy, irregular periods, scarring and adhesions ⁵
Laparoscopic intervention can help diagnose endometriosis
Drugs and/or surgery are used to treat endometriosis. After therapy, it is possible to move on to ART

Approximately 5-10% of fertility problems are due to fibroid tumors (fibroids or leiomyomas)
These are benign neoplasms of muscle and connective tissue that develop in and around the uterus
They may change the shape of the uterus or fallopian tubes or cause blockage of the fallopian tubes
These tumors may impede the passage of sperm to the egg or prevent the implantation of the embryo in the uterus
The exact cause of fibroid tumors is not known, and the severity of any symptoms is usually related to their location, size, and number
Fibroids are treated with drugs and/or surgery. After therapy, it is possible to move on to ART

70-80% of women with PCOS may experience infertility ⁹
PCOS leads to an increase in the volume of the ovaries, as well as the growth of numerous small cysts on the thickened surface of the ovaries ⁴
This can lead to irregular periods, which in turn affects fertility ⁴
Ultrasound is used to diagnose PCOS
The most common treatments for PCOS are drugs and/or surgery. After therapy, it is possible to proceed to ART

From 3% to 8% of cases of female infertility may be associated with pathology of the cervix ¹⁰
The glands located in the cervix secrete a secret (mucus) that helps the sperm to move through the genital tract ¹¹
Some women do not produce enough secretion, it may be too thick and viscous, or contain antibodies (protein molecules) that inhibit the activity of spermatozoa ¹¹
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Cervical mucus problems can be corrected with drug therapy / either by transferring sperm directly into the uterus by insemination / or by using IVF, which ensures conception outside the female body

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as chlamydia or gonorrhea can cause pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) ⁵
PID causes blockage of the fallopian tubes and increases the risk of ectopic pregnancy ^{8. 12}
An ectopic pregnancy occurs when the implantation of the embryo occurs outside the uterus ¹²
Tubal obstruction can be treated with surgery, if unsuccessful, ART may be required

Menopause is a natural process that women go through when childbearing ends and menstruation stops
Some women go through early menopause before age 40
If a woman is going through early menopause, then she needs to use assisted reproductive technologies (ART), including the use of donor eggs, to get pregnant

Are oral contraceptives causing my infertility?

MYTH: Taking oral contraceptives for several years increases the risk of infertility.

TRUE: Studies have not found an association between infertility and contraceptive use over a long period of time.

Like many women, you may have used oral or other hormonal contraceptives for several years to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

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