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Words for someone grieving


Sympathy Messages: What to Write in a Sympathy Card

By Keely Chace and Hallmark staff on April 20, 2022

Signing a sympathy card isn’t easy. We search for words. We wonder what would be comforting to hear. We worry about saying the wrong thing…

But even though it’s not easy, it is important to reach out in sympathy. Our words can’t take away the pain of losing a loved one, but they can go a long way toward helping a grieving person feel loved and supported.

You should know right up front that you won’t find the perfect thing to write here. However, you will find ideas from seasoned Hallmark writers for good, helpful and hopeful things to write in a sympathy card.

We hope our tips help you relax, write and share your heartfelt caring with someone who is going through a time of grief.

  • Condolences
  • Appreciation
  • Offer to Help
  • Following Up
  • Sudden or Unexpected Death
  • When Someone Has Died by Suicide
  • When You Cannot Attend the Memorial Service
  • Loss of Parent
  • Loss of Spouse or Partner
  • Loss of Child
  • Miscarriage
  • Loss of Pet
  • Sympathy Closings
  • What NOT to Write in a Sympathy Card
  • What to write in a sympathy card VIDEO

Condolences  

There are many good reasons for keeping your personal sympathy message short. It could be that the card has already expressed most or all of what you wanted to say. Or maybe you didn’t know the deceased well, or at all. Whatever the reason, you can absolutely be brief and still come across as warm and caring.

Examples

  • “We are so sorry for your loss.”
  • “I’m going to miss her, too.”
  • “I hope you feel surrounded by much love.”
  • “Sharing in your sadness as you remember Juan.”
  • “Sharing in your sadness as you remember Dan.”
  • “Sending healing prayers and comforting hugs. I am so sorry for your loss.”
  • “With deepest sympathy as you remember Robert.”
  • “I was saddened to hear that your grandfather passed away. My thoughts are with you and your family.”
  • “Remembering your wonderful mother and wishing you comfort.”
  • “It was truly a pleasure working with your father for 17 years. He will be deeply missed.”
  • “Thinking of you all as you celebrate your sibling’s remarkable life. ”
  • “Thinking of you all as you celebrate your grandmother’s remarkable life.”
  • “We are missing Anne along with you. With heartfelt sympathy,”
  • “Thinking of you and wishing you moments of peace and comfort as you remember a friend who was so close to you.”
  • “Our family is keeping your family in our thoughts and prayers.”
  • “Holding you close in my thoughts and hoping you are doing OK.”
  • “Even though there is joy in the homegoing, there is sorrow in your loss. Thinking of you at this tender time.”
  • “Te acompaño en estos momentos de gran tristeza.”

Writing tip: If you knew the person who has passed but not the surviving family member(s) to whom you’re sending your card, it might be helpful to mention your connection to their loved one (from school, through work, etc.).

Appreciation  

It can be a great comfort to a grieving person or family to hear that others thought highly of their loved one, too. If you knew and admired the loved one who has transitioned, be sure to let your recipient(s) know.

Examples

  • “What an amazing person and what a remarkable life. I feel so lucky that I got to know him.”
  • “What a good and generous man your father was. I thought his funeral service was a wonderful tribute to him and all he has done for our community. He will be missed.”
  • “Your granddad believed in uplifting everyone in his circle. I was one of those people. And I am so honored to have known him.”
  • “Your mama was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to have known her. I know you will miss her deeply. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.”
  • “Celebrating the life of a good person and mourning their passing with you.”
  • “Celebrating the life of a good man and mourning his passing with you.”
  • “Your daughter touched so many lives for the good. I’m grateful I had the chance to know her as both a colleague and a cherished friend. ”
  • “Your mother blessed so many people with her faith and kindness. Praying that you’ll find comfort in your memories of her and in the knowledge that others are missing her, too.”
  • “Our abuela told us our stories, passed down traditions and held us together in love. We are so blessed to come from her and to feel her love from heaven.”
  • “I have the best memories of staying with Aunt Edie as a kid. I don’t think I’ve told you this, but starting when I was about 10, she would take me to Becker’s for ice cream cones…and let me drive! Only Aunt Edie…I’m going to miss her fun-loving spirit so much.”
  • “Nobody could tell a funny story like your mom. Remember at your graduation party—the story about the vacuuming incident? My face hurt for a full day after from laughing so much. I’ll always cherish those memories of fun times spent with her.”
  • “Your mama was always doing for people. A lot of people have been blessed by her kindness and hold her close in their hearts. ”
  • “Qué persona tan maravillosa y qué vida tan extraordinaria. Me alegra mucho el haberla conocido.”

Writing tip: Need a more specific word than “good” to describe the deceased? Consider one of these: kindhearted, talented, admired, unforgettable, fun-loving, funny, wonderful, well-loved, lovely, sweet, generous, one-of-a-kind, one-in-a-million, honorable, respected, caring, hardworking, strong, energetic, happy.

Offer to Help  

If you’re in a position to help your recipient with arrangements, meals, housework, yard work, childcare or something else, then feel free to include an offer to do so as part of your message. Just be sure to follow up and follow through.

Examples

  • “I know I can’t make your pain go away, but I want you to know I’m here with a shoulder or an ear or anything else you need.”
  • “Thinking of your family with love and wanting to help out in any way I can. I’ll call to see when would be a good night to bring over a meal. ”
  • “You’ve got so much on your mind and on your heart right now. We hope it will make one less worry to know that Kevin and I will be taking care of the yard for as long as you need.”
  • “I know this must be a very difficult and demanding time for you all. We are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. If there is anything we can do—from walking Max to picking up your dry cleaning, please let us know.”
  • “It’s so important to get your rest. I’ll take the kids for a couple of hours whenever you need time to sit quietly.”
  • “Sé que no puedo desaparecer el dolor que estás sintiendo, pero aquí estoy para lo que necesites.”

Writing tip: In general, the more specific your offer of help, the better. And no task is too small.

Following Up  

When someone you know is grieving, you might want to offer ongoing messages of support in the weeks and months following the loss of their loved one. You can send these cards to note an occasion like the loved one’s birthday, a wedding anniversary, holidays or any other time when the grieving person may need extra support.

Examples

  • “It’s been a while, but I know that the hurt doesn’t go away when the cards and casseroles do. I’m still here for you.”
  • “Just wanted to let you know we’re remembering your mom on her birthday and sending lots of caring thoughts your way.”
  • “I know Christmas won’t be the same without DeMarcus, but I hope it helps a little to know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers, especially through the holidays.”
  • “Hard to believe it’s been a year since we said good-bye to Noah. Couldn’t let this anniversary go by without letting you know that I’m thinking of you.”
  • “This Kwanzaa season, there is a new ancestor to honor. Thinking of you, your mother and your family as you light the kinara.”
  • “Solo quería que supieras que sigo pensando en ti y en tu familia.”

Writing tip: You will find some cards specific to sympathy follow-up, but you might also choose to go with an encouragement or thinking-of-you card, or a blank card with a beautiful or lighthearted photo on the cover, depending on the tone you’re going for.

Sudden or Unexpected Death  

It’s never easy to lose someone we love. But often, a loss that no one saw coming can lead to complicated grief. This might be because of the deceased’s young age or apparent good health or an accident or other tragic circumstances. Whatever the case, these kinds of losses call for additional comfort, understanding and ongoing support.

Examples

  • Words Fail: “I’m not sure what to say in the face of such a difficult loss. Just want you to know that I care about you, and I share in your sadness.”
  • Acknowledging Unexpectedness: “We were surprised and saddened to hear about Mike’s passing. He was such a good guy. We’re going to miss him so much, too.”
  • I’m Sorry: “I’m deeply sorry your family is experiencing the pain of a loss like this. My heart goes out to each of you.”
  • This Is Especially Hard: “We never would have felt ready to say good-bye to someone as special as Christina, but this timing feels especially tough. Wishing your family comfort and strength for the days and weeks ahead. We’ll be praying for all of you.”
  • Wishes/Prayers: “Keeping you in my warmest thoughts as you navigate this difficult time—and wishing you hope and healing when you’re ready.”
  • I’m Here for You: “It’s going to take time to get through the shock of this loss. Just want you to know we’ll be here for you all the way.”
  • Ongoing Support: “Hey, I know it’s been a couple of months since you lost Ernesto. Just want you to know I haven’t forgotten. I’m still thinking about you. And I’m here to help out, listen, whatever you need.”
  • Cuando no encuentras las palabras adecuadas: “Ojalá supiera qué decirte ante esta pérdida tan inesperada… Pero lo que sí quiero que sepas es que lo siento mucho.”

Pro Tip: If everything you try to write feels wrong or awkward, then keep your message short. The simple act of sending a card communicates caring—even if you simply sign it “With deepest sympathy” followed by your name.

When Someone Has Died by Suicide  

Losing a loved one to suicide is devastating, and the isolation that can result from others not knowing what to say or how to support has its own sting. Making the effort to connect is an important first step. Offer your sincere condolences without questions and without judgment.

Examples

  • Loss of Close Friend: “Trey was such a dear and loyal friend. He made an incredible impact on me and I will miss him so much. All my thoughts are with you and your family.”
  • Loss of Family Member of Close Friend: “Friend, there are no words for something as heartbreaking as this. I wish you didn’t have to know this pain. Call me any time, day or night, and I’ll be checking in with you through the days and weeks to come.”
  • Unintentional (e.g. overdose): “I know how hard your sibling was struggling and how much your family has been through, and I’m so sorry this happened. ”
  • Military/PTSD: “Your family has served this country with courage and honor. You have so much to be proud of. I hope that can bring you some comfort in your heartache.”
  • “It’s not fair that PTSD took someone who already gave so much of himself/herself to others. It shouldn’t be this way. I hope that you feel surrounded by love and support every step of this journey.”
  • Young Person: “I’m still stunned about Ramesh. I can’t imagine what such a loving family like yours is going through right now. Ramesh really shone his light when he was here. I loved that about him. He will be remembered and loved always.”
  • LGBTQ: “Kai was 100% themselves, and I loved that about them. Their self-assuredness is something that will always inspire me even as I miss them so much. If you ever want to share memories and stories, I’m here.”
  • En este momento tan difícil de entender.
  • Pérdida de un familiar o amigo: “No puedo imaginar lo que están sintiendo en este momento tan difícil de entender, pero espero que tú y tu familia encuentren paz y consuelo en los gratos recuerdos de su ser amado. Los acompaño en su dolor.”

Writing Tips: Acknowledge that the topic of suicide is very sensitive, and the recipient may have many complicated feelings. It’s important not to share your opinions on suicide and instead be supportive of the person grieving and however they are experiencing grief.

 

Language Note: In being compassionate toward people whose lives have been impacted by suicide, it is important to avoid terms like “committing suicide,” which can evoke feelings of guilt and blame. Instead, say “died of suicide” or “died by suicide.”

When You Cannot Attend the Memorial Service  

It’s a very human instinct to want to offer condolences and support in person when someone has died. However, for a variety of reasons—either your own circumstances or the family’s need to forego or delay a memorial service—it may be impossible to do so. In those cases, you may wish to say a little more in your written message.

Examples

  • Wish I Could Be With You: “I wish I could be there to honor your dad along with you. He was a great man.”
  • Looking Ahead to a Memorial Later On: “I know Kara’s memorial service won’t happen for a few months yet. Just didn’t want to let that much time go by without reaching out to tell you how saddened I am by her passing. She was such a sweetheart. She’ll be deeply missed.”
  • This Is Hard: “It’s hard to lose someone who meant so much to all of us, and even harder that we can’t all be together to say good-bye. We want you to know we’re with you in spirit—now and in the days and weeks ahead.”
  • I’m Here for You in Other Ways: “Even though I can’t be there for Tom’s service, just want you to know I’m here to drop food by, mow the lawn or anything else that comes up.”
  • Homegoing: “There is a celebration in heaven and a celebration in our hearts even though we can’t be there to put our arms around you.”
  • “Ojalá pudiera estar ahí contigo para honrar la memoria de tu papá. Fue un gran hombre.”

Pro Tip: When you can’t be there to honor the deceased in person, you might also choose to make some kind of honoring gesture in addition to sending a sympathy card.

Loss of Parent  

It’s never easy to lose a parent. No matter how old we are, no matter how close or complicated the relationship, it hits hard. And it calls for some special words of comfort. (Note: These message examples alternate references to mother and father but could work for either.)

Examples

  • Compliment: “Your father was such a wonderful man. I was lucky to know him.”
  • She’ll Always Be With You: “You’ll always remember how it felt to laugh with her and be loved by her. I hope those memories will bring comfort in time.”
  • He Lives on in You: “The lessons your dad taught you, the love he gave, the way he cared for people…all those good things live on in you. ”
  • You Were a Comfort: “You were a joy to your mother all your life, and a huge comfort to her over these past few months. It’s sad to lose her, but I hope you feel good about the way you were there for her.”
  • Miss Him Too: “Just wanted to say how much your father meant to me, and how much I miss him, too.”
  • Loved Her Too: “Your mom was such a good friend. I loved her, too.”
  • When You Didn’t Know Him: “I didn’t have the chance to know your father, but I know he must have been someone special to have raised a great son like you.”
  • This Is Hard: “It’s so hard saying goodbye to your mom. My heart goes out to you right now.”
  • He was a pillar in our community: “Your daddy was father, brother, uncle and wise elder to so many in our community. He was much of a man.”
  • Share a Memory: “Nobody could match your dad for making people feel special. I’ll always remember being the smallest kid on the pee-wee baseball team he coached, but feeling big, because he made me team captain.”
  • Siempre estará contigo: “El amor infinito de tu mamá siempre permanecerá en tu corazón, y su recuerdo vivirá para siempre en nuestras memorias. Lo sentimos mucho.”

Pro Tip: If you’ve lost a parent yourself, it’s fine to mention that, but take care not to make your message more about you and your experience. Keep the focus on sending comfort and support to the person you’re writing to, and don’t assume you understand exactly how they feel.

Loss of Spouse or Partner  

Someone who’s just lost their spouse or partner is both grieving and also facing a huge adjustment to their day-to-day living and sense of identity. Whether they’ve been sharing life for six years or sixty years, it’s a shock to lose that feeling of togetherness in everything. You might choose to acknowledge this in a direct or indirect way in what you write.

Examples

  • Compliment the Relationship: “What the two of you shared was truly something special. You loved each other so well.”
  • Compliment the Deceased: “Stephanie was one of the funniest, most vibrant people I’ve ever met. I’m so grateful I got to know her.”
  • He’ll Always Be With You: “Someone who shared so much of life with you will forever be a part of you. Keeping you in my prayers as you remember your husband.”
  • Take Care of Yourself: “I know the days and months ahead will be a big adjustment, so please give yourself a lot of grace. Do whatever you need to take care of you—and know I’m here for you, too.”
  • I Believe in You: “I know it must feel like this pain will never end. But I believe in my heart that comfort will find you when you’re ready. I believe you’ve got the strength to come through. And in time, I hope you’ll believe it, too. ”
  • Miss Her Too: “Linda was such a terrific colleague and friend. I miss her deeply.”
  • Loved Him Too: “I hope it helps a little to hear how much Matt was loved by others, too—me, for one.”
  • When You Don’t Know the Surviving Spouse/Partner: “Even though we haven’t had the chance to meet in person, I feel like I know you from the glowing way Jim talked about you. It was easy to see how much he loved you.”
  • This Is Hard: “Losing the one you love is so hard. And so I’m praying hard for you—for peace, for comfort, for whatever you need right now.”
  • Share a Memory: “I was just thinking about Anne’s unforgettable dinner parties—especially the one with the notorious lemon-bar incident. That was the best. And SHE was the best.”
  • Share What’s True: “He held you down and lifted you up in this world. I hope you can still feel him and his love around you. ”
  • Admiración hacia la pareja: “El amor que compartieron fue realmente especial. Deseo de todo corazón que su recuerdo te traiga tranquilidad y consuelo.”

Writing Tip: For a surviving spouse who still has kids living it home, consider including them in your message. You could mention them in your greeting (“Dear Ellen and Family” or “Dear Finn, Katie, and Joe”), in the body of your message, or both. Another option would be to send a separate card to each of the kids.

Loss of Child  

This is an especially tough one. Every parent wants so much to nurture, protect, and see their child grow up, but sadly, life doesn’t always work out that way. When writing to someone who’s lost a child, try to relax and remember that the gesture of reaching out will probably mean just as much as the actual words you write.

Examples

  • Compliment: “Della was such a sweet girl. I wish she could have stayed with you, and with all of us, for so much longer. ”
  • They’ll Always Be a Part of You: “You’ll always miss Alex, but they’ll always be with you in the memories you keep, the stories your family tells, the laughter you share, and the love you all hold for them. May those good things help heal the hurt in time.”
  • I’m Sorry: “So deeply sorry you have to go through a heartbreak like this. Sharing in your sorrow and keeping your family in our most caring prayers.”
  • Time Was Short/Love Was Big: “Even though Maddie was with us for too short a time, she filled the world around her with so much joy. And you filled hers with so much love.”
  • His Life Mattered: “Though we only got to hold him for a little while, he brought us together and brought so many smiles. Celebrating all the days that were brighter because he was here.”
  • Loved Her Too: “I hope there’s some comfort in knowing how much we loved Aya, too.”
  • Miss Him Too: “Missing Henry right along with you. ”
  • This Is Heartbreaking: “It just feels wrong that you should have to say goodbye to your child. Whatever you’re feeling, please know you’re not alone. I’m just one of many who want to do whatever we can to support you in the weeks and months to come.”
  • Share a Memory: “Jamal was the first to be a friend to anybody who needed one. I was just remembering when our class got a new student this spring, and Jamal made a point of sitting with him at lunch. He was a special kid.”
  • Siempre será parte de ti: “Tu hijo es una estrella en el cielo, y su luz iluminará siempre tu camino y tu corazón.”

Writing Tip: You can adapt most of these message ideas for parents who have lost an adult son or daughter. The heartbroken feeling that life isn’t supposed to work like this will still apply—and the need for caring, support, and prayers will be similar, too.

Miscarriage  

Miscarriage is the kind of loss that you may only know about if you’re part of the mom’s or couple’s inner circle of family and friends. If that’s the case, you have a unique opportunity be a source of comfort and support in a world that doesn’t know.

Examples

  • Your Loss Is Real: “The love you felt for your baby-to-be was real, and so is the loss you’re experiencing. I hope you can be gentle with yourself and honor whatever you’re feeling right now.”
  • I’m Sorry: “I’m so sorry you’ve had to let go of the dreams you were already cherishing for your baby.”
  • This Is Hard: “I can’t begin to understand all you’re feeling right now, but I know it can’t be easy. I wish you didn’t have to go through a loss like this.”
  • Wish for Healing: “Keeping you and Keisha in my thoughts and hoping for healing to come to you in time.”
  • I’m Here for You: “I was deeply saddened to hear you’ve had a miscarriage. Just want you to know I’m here for you—to talk, to bring over a meal, or whatever you need right now. ”
  • It’s Not Your Fault: “Just wanted to remind you that there was nothing you could or should have done differently. Sometimes these things just happen. I’m sorry it had to happen to you.”
  • Lo siento: “Siento mucho la pérdida de tu bebé. Aquí estoy para ti, para hablar, para escucharte, para lo que necesites.”

Writing Tip: It’s sad for an expecting mother to lose a pregnancy even when she already has children, or may go on to have others. So avoid saying anything like “At least you already have Emma” or “You can always try again.” Those thoughts come from a good place, but they risk implying that the mom or couple should just get over it quickly and move on.

Find more messages and ways to support parents who have lost a baby.

Loss of Pet  

Pets are genuinely family members for a lot of us, and when we lose one, it can be a huge comfort to have others recognize how much they meant and how sad it is to say goodbye.

Examples

  • Compliment: “Benny was such a good dog. So sorry you’ve had to say goodbye to him.”
  • You Loved Her Well: “From your first hello, to your last goodbye, Shadow felt how much you loved her. She was one lucky kitty to have you for her person.”
  • Wish for Good Memories: “Wishing you smiles amid the tears as you remember happy times with your loyal companion and friend.”
  • She’ll Always Be Part of You: “Trixie may be gone from your lap, but she’ll stay in your heart forever.”
  • Miss Him Too: “I was so sorry to hear about Speck. I sure am going to miss seeing him when I’m out walking.”
  • She Meant a Lot: “Our fur babies hold such an important place in our lives and our hearts. Thinking of you as you remember Gertie.”
  • Share a Memory: “I’ll never forget walking into your kitchen and finding every single cabinet open and Fluff peeking out from a drawer. He was such a clever cat.”
  • “Lucas era un perro tan bueno y cariñoso. Siento mucho que hayas tenido que decirle adiós.”

Pro Tip: If your recipient has had to make the hard decision to have their pet put to sleep, consider affirming them in that decision. Let them know you support their choice, that you know it wasn’t easy, that you share their sadness but are glad their friend isn’t hurting anymore.

Sympathy Closings  

A warm, respectful closing is a graceful way to wrap up your sympathy message. Choose one of these, or create your own.

  • With sympathy,
  • With deepest sympathy,
  • With heartfelt sympathy,
  • With prayers and sympathy,
  • With sincere sympathy,
  • With warm thoughts and prayers,
  • With caring,
  • With love at this sad time,
  • In caring sympathy,
  • With you in sorrow,
  • Sharing your sadness,
  • Thinking of you,
  • Caring thoughts are with you,
  • God bless,
  • God bless you and comfort you,
  • Keeping you in our prayers,
  • Lifting you up in prayer,
  • Praying for you,
  • Wishing you peace,
  • Wishing you healing,
  • My heart goes out to you,
  • Please accept our condolences,
  • My sincere condolences,
  • Prayerfully,
  • Con el más sentido pésame,

What NOT to Write in a Sympathy Card  

Here are a few thoughts and phrases to avoid in sympathy cards, because they risk either minimizing the recipients’ unique feelings of grief or actually making them feel worse.

Examples

  • “I know how you feel.” We all experience and process grief differently.
  • “She was so young.” No need for a potentially painful reminder.
  • “What a terrible loss.” Avoid dwelling on the pain or difficulty of the loss.
  • “You should…” Instead of advice, offer comfort and support.
  • “You will…” Steer clear of predictions about how their grief journey will go.
  • “This happened for a reason.” Even with the best intentions behind it, this thought risks assigning blame for the death.
  • “Sé cómo te sientes.” No es bueno asumir cómo se sienten las personas. Todos experimentamos el duelo de manera diferente.

Writing tip: If you’re still worried about saying the wrong thing, then keep your message very short. The simple act of sending the card lets your recipient know you care.

What to write in a sympathy card VIDEO  

Find out the simple formula for crafting your own sympathy message and get some real life examples and watch-outs from Hallmark Senior Writer Cat Hollyer.

More ways to support someone who is grieving

Check out the other articles in our series on grief support:

  • How to Help Someone Who is Grieving Immediately after a Loss
  • Continuing Grief Support: How to Help Someone Who is Grieving over Time
  • Grief Support on Anniversaries, Birthdays and Special Occasions
  • Sympathy Gift Ideas for Offering Your Condolences and Support
  • Food for Friends in Need
  • Comforting Grief Quotes
  • How to Support a Friend or Loved One in Need
  • Tags:
  • Greeting Card Messages and Ideas
  • What to write video guide
  • Credits:
  • Additional contributions by Cat Hollyer, Linda Barnes, Allyson Cook and Suzanne Heins. Melvina Young, Megan Haave and Cindy Phillips.

Keely Chace is a Hallmark Master Writer who loves reading, running and spending time with her husband and daughters. She shares writing tips in her "What to Write" series on Hallmark & Community.

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21 Comforting Texts You Can Send to a Grieving Loved One

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These days, social media is the norm for staying connected. Everyone sends and receives news updates instantly. Everyone in your network communicates through texting, posting, and responding to online messages.

Our Picks to Pair with a Comforting Text
  • Benchmark Bouquets Pink Roses and White Lilies ($40.92)
  • Gourmet Sympathy Gift Basket ($44.02)
  • Mount Hagen Organic Instant Coffee ($7.98)
  • Tea Drops Lightly Sweetened Organic Loose Leaf Tea ($36. 00)
Jump ahead to these sections:
  • Comforting Texts to Send to a Family Member
  • Comforting Texts to Send to a Close Friend
  • Comforting Texts to Send to Someone Who Lost a Partner or Spouse
  • Comforting Texts to Send to an Acquaintance or Colleague

When news that someone you know has died hits social circles, you may be wondering what is the appropriate response to that news. Should you pick up the phone and call? Should you send fresh flowers or another sympathy plant? Is it OK to send a text offering condolences? How do you comfort someone who is grieving through text? And, how do you console someone whom you only talk to online?

It’s acceptable to send a text if it makes sense for you to do so. If you only talk online or through text, there's nothing wrong with responding to the news by sending a text. Finding the right words to say to someone whose loved one has died is never easy. Below you will find a few examples of what to say and when it's appropriate to say it.

Other Ways to Share a Comforting Message

Sending a comforting text or direct message can be a simple and meaningful way to connect with someone who needs support. But you can also use the messages suggested in this article to share a message of comfort in other ways. Here are some ideas for ways to support a loved one with a short message. 

» MORE: Grief can be lonely. Create space for your community to share memories and tributes with a free online memorial from Cake.

Write an online memorial tribute

If someone has passed away, check to see if the family has set up an online memorial and possibly a memorial fundraiser. If they have, you can write one of these comforting messages in a tribute message to the departed person. If the family hasn't yet set up a memorial page, you might be able to help them do so using Cake's online memorial tool. Helping with this process can be a meaningful way to lend support and comfort during a difficult time.

Give a card

Sometimes, sending a physical card or letter can offer more support to someone who's grieving or in need of comfort. You can hand-write one of the messages below in a beautiful sympathy card like this one.

Give a gift 

A sympathy card or simple note can also be paired with a thoughtful gift to offer comfort to your loved one. Consider attaching your comforting message to a bouquet of fresh flowers or a sympathy gift basket.

» MORE: Online obituary that is 100% free. Honor a loved one beyond a newspaper.

Comforting Texts to Send to a Family Member

When one of your family members suffers death in their immediate family, it’s a loss that hits close to home. You might not know what to say to express the sorrow that you're feeling. You might think that giving them space during this time is the best thing to do. It's not uncommon to pull away from your loved one. 

You might not know how to process death and think that nothing you can say will make them feel better. Yet, the opposite is true. When everyone else has moved on, your words of condolences can have a real impact. A shoulder to lean on during this time goes a long way in helping your family member process their grief. There are several things you can say that will leave a lasting impression.

Here are words to comfort someone who lost a loved one over text:

  • "I'm sorry to hear the news of your brother's passing. Please accept my deepest regrets for your loss."
  • "I was deeply saddened to hear of your mom's passing. She was such a great inspiration to me. Please let me know how I can help you during this difficult time."
  • "Please accept my heartfelt condolences to you and your family on your uncle's death. I’m sure that his memory will forever live on in your hearts."
  • "I’m sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family."
  • "I am sorry for the loss of your dear Fluffy, Aunt Mary. I cannot imagine the pain you are going through right now. Please let me know how I can help you during this difficult time."
1. “I'm sorry to hear the news of your brother's passing. Please accept my deepest regrets for your loss.”

When expressing your condolences by text, consider the type of relationship you have with your family members.

Decide whether it's appropriate to follow up with an in-person visit, or if texting is enough. Depending on your relationship, it may be better to offer support in person.

2. “I was deeply saddened to hear of your mom’s passing. She was such a great inspiration to me. Please let me know how I can help you during this difficult time.”

This type of text acknowledges news of death and has a call to action. When a death occurs, there are many end-of-life matters to attend to.

With this message, you are letting your family members know that you have heard the news, how their loved one has impacted your life, and what she meant to you. You're also offering your support when needed.

3. “Please accept my heartfelt condolences to you and your family on your uncle's death. I’m sure that his memory will forever live on in your hearts."

This condolence message doesn't need to offer any further call to action. Unless you were close to the uncle, a text message is enough. 

4. “I’m sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family.”

When a family member has suffered a loss of a person whom you didn’t know or didn’t know well, a simple message expressing your sympathy, like "sorry for your loss," is both sufficient and respectful in honoring the death of their loved one.

5. “I am sorry for the loss of your dear Fluffy, Aunt Mary. I cannot imagine the pain you are going through right now. Please let me know how I can help you during this difficult time.”

Acknowledging the impact of the death of a beloved pet on Aunt Mary may be able to help during this time. It honors the bond between a pet and its owner while also offering support as you would with the loss of human life. You can even give a pet sympathy gift to provide some comfort as that person grieves.

Comforting Texts to Send to a Close Friend

When a close friend has a death in the family, it's sometimes difficult to approach him with the right words. Dealing with death takes the fun out of friendship, and your response to the news will depend on your communication style. A text message is generally appropriate while avoiding the use of emojis.

A simple “sorry for your loss” text gets the conversation started. It expresses regret and tells him that you're thinking of him. Consider following up your text with a phone call or visiting with a sympathy gift basket or care package.

Here are words to comfort a closed friend who lost a loved one over text:

  • "My deepest sympathies go out to you, my friend. May you find comfort and peace during this difficult time. Know that I’m here for you."
  • "I heard the news, my friend. I can’t even begin to understand what you are feeling, but I want you to know that I’m here for you. I’m sending you my prayers and condolences. I’ll be checking in on you to see how you are doing."
  • "I was deeply saddened to hear about your brother’s passing. He was like a brother to me. Please offer my sincerest condolences to your family. You have my deepest sympathy."
  • "I’m sorry for your loss. Please accept my sincerest sympathy."
  • "I’m so sorry to hear this sad news. I’m thinking of you and your family at this time. Please let me know how I can help."
6. “My deepest sympathies go out to you, my friend. May you find comfort and peace during this difficult time. Know that I’m here for you.”

These words let your friend know that you are suffering along with him. Offering your support lets him know that you are reliable in his time of need.

Words of support and encouragement offer some of the greatest comforts to someone who is grieving.

7.  “I heard the news, my friend. I can’t even begin to understand what you are feeling, but I want you to know that I’m here for you.
I’m sending you my prayers and condolences. I’ll be checking in on you to see how you are doing.”

Your friend might not be ready to talk to you when the news first hits, but they need to know that you are available whenever they are ready.

Do what you say you will, by following up at appropriate intervals to check up on your friend.

8. “I was deeply saddened to hear about your brother’s passing. He was like a brother to me. Please offer my sincerest condolences to your family. You have my deepest sympathy.”

This type of text message honors the death of their loved one, offers condolences to the family as a whole, and also adds a personal touch about what the person who died meant to you.

It’s important not to make this about you, so carefully consider the length of your message and words you choose.

9. “I’m sorry for your loss. Please accept my sincerest sympathy.”

Sometimes less is more. When you don’t know what to say to your friend, a text acknowledging what they’re going through is enough when the message is sincere and heartfelt.  

10. “I’m so sorry to hear this sad news. I’m thinking of you and your family at this time. Please let me know how I can help.”

When you offer condolences to someone you know and love, it’s always more meaningful when you attach the offer to help in some way.

Their immediate needs may not be clear to them just yet, but knowing that you have offered to help, and following up with that offer, can lessen their burden during this time. 

Comforting Texts to Send to Someone Who Lost a Partner or Spouse

When deciding what message to text to a person who has lost their partner or spouse, keep in mind that they've just lost a big part of their support system. They've yet to realize the impact of the loss on their everyday lives, or how their future lives have changed. Be especially mindful of the grief they'll experience in the coming days, weeks, and months. 

If it's your partner or spouse who lost a loved one, it's also appropriate to send text messages throughout the day to let them know that you're there for them. A text message offering love and support may come through when a pick me up is needed. You may also want to send a text message to celebrate the life of their loved one on their death anniversary.

Here are words to comfort a partner or spouse who lost a loved one over text:

  • "I heard the news about your husband’s passing. Please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss. He was a great friend to me, and I will forever hold him in my heart."
  • "I am deeply saddened by the loss of your wife. She was a wonderful woman. I will check in on you later to see what you may need."
  • "Please accept my condolences on the passing of your partner. It is an honor to have known such a great person, and I will truly miss them."
  • "I was thinking about your husband on this day of his death anniversary. He has certainly made a positive impact on my life. I hope you are doing well."
  • "Sending you thoughts of love and prayer to let you know that I am here for you. ”
11. “I heard the news about your husband’s passing. Please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss. He was a great friend to me, and I will forever hold him in my heart.”

Social media spreads news fast to everyone connected. If you've heard about a death through social media, let the person grieving know how you heard the news.

Assure them that you’re responding privately, and offer your support. If a condolence board has been set up, it’s okay to post a less personal message. Consider posting only after you've sent a private message.

12. “I am deeply saddened by the loss of your wife. She was a wonderful woman. I will check in on you later to see what you may need.”

This type of message not only comforts the bereaved but reassures them that you may be stopping by later to help with whatever is needed.

Consider bringing a hot meal and extra home-cooked meals, and maybe even some good coffee or tea to sustain them over the next few days.  

13. "Please accept my condolences on the passing of your partner. It is an honor to have known such a great person, and I will truly miss them.”

Condolence messages that are gender-neutral respect the intimacy of the relationship without being too forward in assumptions or leaving a huge question needing to be answered. 

14. “I was thinking about your husband on this day of his death anniversary. He has certainly made a positive impact on my life. I hope you are doing well.”

Reminding the person who has lost a loved one that you still hold them in your thoughts and prayers may be one of the most supportive gestures you can make.

While most people have moved on with their lives, you are letting them know that you still remember and honor their loved one who has died. 

15.  “Sending you thoughts of love and prayer to let you know that I am here for you.”

This simple message can be very impactful when sent at the appropriate time in the grieving process.

It’s not only acceptable but encouraged to send these types of messages to your partner or spouse to let them know that you love and support them. 

» MORE: An online memorial is a perfect ending to honor and celebrate someone's life. Create one for free.

Comforting Texts to Send to an Acquaintance or Colleague

Communicating condolences to an acquaintance or colleague can sometimes seem awkward and uncomfortable. These simple phrases below will help you bridge that gap between feeling awkward and offering genuine words of sympathy to someone you may not know very well. 

Here are words to comfort an acquaintance or colleague who lost a loved one over text:

  • "I heard about your loss. May you find comfort and peace during this difficult time. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help."
  • "I can’t imagine what it feels like to have lost a child. I am at a loss for words to say. Please know that I have you and your family in my prayers, and I’m here for you. "
  • "Please accept my condolences on the loss of your pet, Burrito. He was always a joy to have around the office and will be missed."
  • "I heard about your dad’s passing. I’m so sorry about your loss. I lost my dad a few years back. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here for you."
  • "Please accept my condolences on the loss of your spouse. I’m sure that this is a very difficult time for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you."
  • "It is terrible to hear about your loss. I express my sincere sympathy to you and your family."
16. “I heard about your loss. May you find comfort and peace during this difficult time. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.”

When you hardly know a person, it may sound insincere to offer your deepest sympathies or to say that you feel their pain.

It is appropriate to send an abbreviated message of sympathy with a genuine offer to help. You may offer to pick up the slack at work, help them deliver a project, or fill in for them at work.  

17. “I can’t imagine what it feels like to have lost a child. I am at a loss for words to say. Please know that I have you and your family in my prayers, and I’m here for you.”

You don’t have to know someone very well to understand that losing a child can be one of the most devastating things a parent can go through.

Letting them know that you can’t express the level of loss they must be feeling is acceptable, and it is much better than ignoring the death.

18. “Please accept my condolences on the loss of your pet, Burrito. He was always a joy to have around the office and will be missed.”

When your colleague loses a beloved pet, they may be mourning the loss as if they have lost a child. It’s important to recognize this loss and acknowledge it with words of sympathy and condolences.

19. “I heard about your dad’s passing. I’m so sorry about your loss. I lost my dad a few years back. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here for you.”

Offering specific and relatable support to an acquaintance lets them know that you genuinely care about them, and have something of value to add to them during this time of pain and bereavement.

You may want to follow up with another message a few days later to let your colleague know that you were sincere in your offer of support. 

20. “Please accept my condolences on the loss of your spouse. I’m sure that this is a very difficult time for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.”

This message validates the loss and the grief that your acquaintance must be experiencing without sounding too pushy or waiting for a response from him.

21. “It is terrible to hear about your loss. I express my sincere sympathy to you and your family.”

Again, this message is short and clear to the point. This is especially appropriate when you don’t have a close relationship with your colleague. 

Comforting Texts to Send to a Person Who Is Grieving

Knowing what to say to a person who is grieving is not always easy. Finding the appropriate words to comfort them in their time of need can prove difficult especially when you don’t have much experience with death.

Using some of these suggested words above can help you avoid the silence that follows when you are at a loss for words in many of these situations. 

Loss of loved ones... What to say to a person who has lost a loved one? How to support, reassure, comfort when loved ones are dying

Photo by Anatoly Danilov, 2010.

A person has experienced grief. The man has lost a loved one. What to say to him?

Hold on!

The most frequent words that always come to mind first are

  • Be strong!
  • Hold on!
  • Take heart!
  • My condolences!
  • Help?
  • Oh, what a horror... Well, hold on.

What else is there to say? There is nothing to console, we will not return the loss. Hold on friend! Further, it is also not clear what to do - whether to support this topic (what if a person is even more hurt by continuing the conversation), or change it to a neutral one ...

These words are not spoken out of indifference. Only for the lost person life stopped and time stopped, but for the rest - life goes on, but how else? It is terrible to hear about our grief, but our life goes on as usual. But sometimes you want to ask again - what to hold on to? Even faith in God is difficult to hold on to, because along with the loss, a desperate “Lord, Lord, why did you leave me?”

We must rejoice!

The second group of valuable advice to the grieving is much more terrible than all these endless "hold on!".

  • “You should be glad that you had such a person and such love in your life!”
  • "Do you know how many infertile women would dream of being a mother for at least 5 years!"
  • “Yes, he finally got tired of it! How he suffered here and that’s it – he doesn’t suffer anymore!”

Can't be happy. This will be confirmed by everyone who buried their beloved 90-year-old grandmother, for example. Matushka Adriana (Malysheva) passed away at 90. She was on the verge of death more than once, for the whole last year she was seriously and painfully ill. She asked the Lord more than once to take her away as soon as possible. All her friends saw her not so often - a couple of times a year at best. Most have only known her for a couple of years. When she left, despite all this, we were orphaned...

Death is not worth rejoicing at all.

Death is the worst and worst evil.

And Christ overcame it, but so far we can only believe in this victory, while we, as a rule, do not see it.

By the way, Christ did not call to rejoice in death - he wept when he heard about the death of Lazarus and resurrected the son of the widow of Nain.

And “death is a gain,” said the Apostle Paul about himself, and not about others, “for ME life is Christ, and death is a gain.”

You are strong!
  • How he holds up!
  • How strong she is!
  • You are strong, you endure everything so courageously ...

If a person who has experienced a loss does not cry at a funeral, does not groan and is not killed, but is calm and smiles, he is not strong. He is still in the most intense phase of stress. When he starts crying and screaming, it means that the first stage of stress passes, he feels a little better.

There is a precise description in Sokolov-Mitrich's report about the relatives of the Kursk crew:

“Several young sailors and three people who looked like relatives were traveling with us. Two women and one man. Only one circumstance made them doubt their involvement in the tragedy: they smiled. And when we had to push a bus that had gone awry, the women even laughed and rejoiced, like collective farmers in Soviet films returning from the battle for the harvest. "Are you from the Committee of Soldiers' Mothers?" I asked. "No, we are relatives."

In the evening of the same day, I met military psychologists from the St. Petersburg Military Medical Academy. Professor Vyacheslav Shamrey, who worked with the relatives of those who died at Komsomolets, told me that this sincere smile on the face of a heartbroken person is called "unconscious psychological defense. " On the plane, on which relatives flew to Murmansk, there was an uncle who, having entered the cabin, was happy as a child: “Well, at least I’ll fly in an airplane. And then I’ve been sitting all my life in my Serpukhov district, I don’t see the white light! This means that the uncle was very ill.

- We are going to Ruzlev Sasha ... Senior midshipman ... 24 years old, second compartment, - after the word "compartment" the women sobbed. - And this is his father, he lives here, also a submariner, sailed all his life. The name of? Vladimir Nikolayevich. Just don't ask him anything, please."

Are there those who hold on well and don't sink into this black and white world of grief? Don't know. But if a person “holds on”, then, most likely, he needs and will need spiritual and psychological support for a long time to come. All the hardest may be ahead.

Orthodox arguments
  • Thank God, now you have a guardian angel in heaven!
  • Your daughter is now an angel, cheers, she is in the Kingdom of Heaven!
  • Your wife is now closer to you than ever!

I remember a colleague was at the funeral of a friend's daughter. A colleague - a non-church one - was horrified by the godmother of that little girl who burned down from leukemia: “Imagine, she minted in such a plastic, hard voice - rejoice, your Masha is now an angel! What a beautiful day! She is with God in the Kingdom of Heaven! This is your best day!"

The thing is that we, believers, really see that it is important not "when", but "how". We believe (and only by this we live) that sinless children and well-living adults will not lose the mercy of the Lord. That it is terrible to die without God, but nothing is terrible with God. But this is our, in a sense, theoretical knowledge. A person experiencing a loss can tell a lot of all that is theologically correct and comforting, if necessary. "Closer than ever" - it's not felt, especially at first. Therefore, here I want to say, “can you please, as usual, so that everything will be?”

In the months since my husband's death, by the way, I haven't heard these "Orthodox consolations" from any priest. On the contrary, all the fathers told me how hard, how difficult. How they thought they knew something about death, but it turned out that they knew little. That the world has become black and white. What sorrow. I didn’t hear a single “finally your personal angel appeared”.

Probably only a person who has gone through sorrow can say about this. I was told how mother Natalia Nikolaevna Sokolova, who buried two of the most beautiful sons in a year - Archpriest Theodore and Vladyka Sergius, said: “I gave birth to children for the Kingdom of Heaven. There are two already there." But only she could say that.

Does time heal?

Probably, over time, this wound with meat through the whole soul heals a little. I don't know yet. But in the first days after the tragedy, everyone is nearby, everyone is trying to help and sympathize. But then - everyone continues their own life - but how else? And somehow it seems that the most acute period of grief has already passed. No. The first weeks are not the hardest. As a wise man who survived a loss told me, after forty days you only gradually understand what place the deceased occupied in your life and soul. After a month, it ceases to seem that you will wake up now and everything will be the same as before. It's just a business trip. You realize that you won’t come back here, that you won’t be here anymore.

This is the time when you need support, presence, attention, work. And just someone who will listen to you.

It will not work to console. You can console a person, but only if you return his loss and resurrect the dead. And the Lord can comfort.

Archpriest Alexy Uminsky very rightly said: “A person who is experiencing this moment and who really finds an answer from God, he becomes so smart and experienced that no one can give him any advice. He already knows everything. He does not need to say anything, he knows everything perfectly. Therefore, this person does not need advice. It is hard for those people who at such a moment do not want to listen to God and are looking for explanations, accusations, self-accusations. And then it's hard, because it's suicide. It is impossible to comfort a person who has not been comforted by God.

Of course, it is necessary to console, one must be near, it is very important at such a moment to be surrounded by people who love and hear. NO ONE WILL EVER BE SUCCESSFUL, THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE .

Read, by the way: About the will of God and the death of loved ones

What can I say?

In fact, it is not so important what to say to a person. What matters is whether you have experienced suffering or not.

Here's the thing. There are two psychological concepts: sympathy and empathy.

Sympathy – we sympathize with a person, but we ourselves have never been in such a situation. And we, in fact, cannot say “I understand you” here. Because we don't understand. We understand that it is bad and scary, but we do not know the depth of this hell in which a person is now. And not every experience of loss is good here. If we buried our beloved 95-year-old uncle, this does not give us the right to say to the mother who buried her son: “I understand you.” If we do not have such experience, then your words for a person will most likely not have any meaning. Even if he listens to you out of politeness, the background will be the thought - “But everything is fine with you, why do you say that you understand me?”.

But empathy is when you sympathize with a person and KNOW what he is going through. A mother who has buried a child feels empathy for another mother who has buried a child, compassion, backed up by experience. Here every word can be at least somehow perceived and heard. And most importantly - here is a living person who also experienced this. Which is bad, like me.

Therefore, it is very important to arrange for a person to meet with those who can show empathy for him. Not an intentional meeting: “But Aunt Masha, she also lost her child!”. Unobtrusively. Gently tell that you can go to such and such a person or that such a person is ready to come and talk. There are many forums on the Internet to support people experiencing loss. There are fewer on the Runet, more on the English-speaking Internet - those who have survived or are experiencing gather there. Being with them will not ease the pain of loss, but will support.

The help of a good priest who has experience of loss or just a lot of life experience. The help of a psychologist, most likely, will also be needed.

Pray a lot for the dead and for loved ones. Pray yourself and serve magpies in churches. You can also offer the person himself to travel around the temples together in order to give magpies around and pray around, read the psalter.

If you were familiar with the deceased, remember him together. Remember what you said, what you did, where you went, what you discussed. .. Actually, there are commemorations for that - to remember a person, to talk about him. “Do you remember, once we met at a bus stop, and you just returned from a honeymoon trip” ....

Listen a lot, calmly and for a long time. Not comforting. Not encouraging, not asking to rejoice. He will cry, he will blame himself, he will retell the same little things a million times over. Listen. Just help with housework, with children, with business. Talk about everyday topics. Be near.

P.S. The author sincerely thanks everyone who prays, helps and who is nearby - there are no words to convey this gratitude, there are no words to describe all the help.

P.P.S. If you have experience of how grief or loss is experienced, write to us at [email protected] about it, we will add your tips, stories and help others at least a little.

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50 phrases and words that can be said to the relatives of a deceased person to support

Summary of the article:

  • What do they say to the relatives of the deceased?
  • What should you be prepared for?
  • How to calm a person whose relative has died?
  • Why is it so important to support a relative of the deceased?
  • What to say at the funeral of the relatives of the deceased?
  • Video: how to properly support a relative of the deceased

Attending a funeral is associated with many sad moments. It is especially difficult for the relatives of the deceased. The guests of the mourning event express their condolences to them, and also try to provide moral support. When choosing words of sympathy, one must exercise maximum tact and avoid banal advice.

What do they say to the relatives of the deceased?

If a person is going to express his condolences, then he should consider who he is related to the deceased:

  • Related . In this case, even if the relationship is distant, you can focus on your emotions. A well-suited phrase: “Accept my condolences! When I found out about the death of [Name], I could not find a place for myself from grief”;
  • Friend . Here, the designation of one’s close and trusting relationship with the deceased is suitable, for example: “Sincerely condolences to you! I knew [Name] for many years, he was like a brother to me”;
  • Colleague . It is best to use neutral official phrases: “My condolences! My colleagues and I share the grief of your loss."

You can also express condolences to the relatives with one of these phrases :

  1. Everyone who knew him is grieving now, because such a tragedy cannot leave anyone indifferent. I understand how hard it is for you right now. I will never be able to forget him and I assure you that I will support you in every possible way, as soon as you contact me.
  2. Our family mourns with you. The loss of such a reliable support in life is irreparable. Always remember that we will be honored to help you whenever you need it.
  3. Today all who knew him mourn with you. This tragedy leaves no one indifferent. I will never forget him, and I consider it my duty to support you on any occasion, you just need to contact me.
  4. It's hard to put into words how we feel for your loss! It hurts to even think about it, and it's so hard to talk about. It was a golden man, of which there are few! We will always remember him!
  5. He/she meant a lot to me and to you, I grieve with you. Let it be a consolation to us that he gave so much love and warmth. Unfortunately, in this imperfect world, this has to be experienced. He was a bright man whom we loved. You can count on me at any moment.
  6. Sincere condolences to you… What a man he was, he meant a lot to all of us… He deserves more words than I can say now. In my recollections of the deceased, he is both our teacher of justice and a mentor in life. Eternal memory to him!
  7. This is a real tragedy, I am in great pain at this hour. But you are the hardest! Love will not die, and the memory of him (her) will always illuminate our hearts! I know this is a heavy blow for you and I mourn your loss. If I can be of any help to you, please contact me!
  8. I would like to find words to somehow ease your pain, but it's hard to imagine if there are such words on earth at all. Bright and eternal memory!
  9. This tragedy hurt us all. But of course, it affected you the most. Please accept my sincere condolences. Always ready to help you in any difficult situation.
  10. Your shock from the onset of grief is a severe shock. But you have the strength to overcome grief and continue what he did not have time to do. We are nearby, and we will help in everything - contact us! This is our duty to the memory of the deceased!
  11. I want to offer my sincere condolences to all of you. A wonderful person has passed away. My condolences at this sad and difficult moment. He meant a lot to me, I mourn with you...
  12. Condolences and sympathy for your loss - this loss is irreparable. Mind, iron will, honesty and justice ... - these are not all of his qualities. How much we would like to ask for forgiveness from him, but too late ... Eternal memory to a great man!
  13. I was simply silenced by this terrible news. It's all like a bad dream. It is difficult to express our grief in words - it is too great. Let the kindest memories and bright memory of her be at least a small consolation!
  14. I express my sincere sympathy to you and I can say that the only thing that can help you get over your loss is your memories. He (her) will always be remembered as a hardworking, intelligent and loving person. I wish you to find solace in your family and friends. My deepest condolences.
  15. The news of his departure came as a shock to us. We can only guess what a blow it was for you. At such moments we feel abandoned, but remember that you have relatives and friends who loved and appreciated him. Always count on our help...
  16. I sincerely regret your loss. This is a very sad and sad time for you. But good memories are what will help to survive this loss. He lived a long and bright life and achieved success and respect in it. We also join the words of grief of friends and memories of him.
  17. She/he was a model of delicacy and tact. The memory of her/him will be as endless as her/his kindness to all of us. The loss of a loved one is an incomparable grief. Please accept my deepest condolences!
  18. Sincere condolences to you, I share your grief. It is very hard to lose your loved ones, relatives and friends, and it is doubly worse if young, beautiful and talented people leave us. God rest his soul.
  19. It is impossible to find such words of support to ease your pain even a little bit. You can only guess how hard it is for you right now. Please accept our sincere condolences on the death of your loved one.
  20. Condolences, unfortunately, in this imperfect world, this has to be endured. He was a bright man whom we all loved. I can't find words to express my grief to you. It is very hard to lose such a dear person. I share your grief. You can always count on me and my help.

  21. Please accept my most sincere condolences. For all of us, he will remain an example of love of life. We mourn with you at this difficult moment and will remember him forever!
  22. Condolences! The death of a loved one is the loss of a part of yourself. Hold on, these are the most difficult days, it will be easier later ... We grieve with your grief, we are there ...
  23. I grieve with you at this difficult moment. It's scary to even imagine that half of you is gone. But for the sake of children, for the sake of loved ones, you need to survive these mournful days. Invisibly, he will always be there - in the soul and in our eternal memory of this bright man.
  24. Words cannot heal a terrible wound in the heart. But the bright memories of her, how honestly and worthily she lived her life, will always be stronger than death. In the bright memory of her, we are forever with you!
  25. There are such mournful words: "A loved one does not die, but simply ceases to be near." In your memory, in your soul, your love will be eternal! We also remember him well. Bright and eternal memory!
  26. There are no words to express how deeply we mourn his/her death. We can't even imagine how much of a blow his/her departure has been for you. She/he was a model of tact and mercy. We are happy that she was in our life...
  27. We all mourn deeply. Our souls bleed from untimely loss. The deceased was a support to all of us. His kind heart and broad soul were always wide open. May the soul of this magnificent person rest in peace, we will always remember him with a feeling of light sadness ...
  28. Please accept my sincere condolences! What a man! As she lived modestly and quietly, she left humbly, as if a candle had gone out. We will remember and honor forever ...
  29. We are sorry for your loss! The news of his/her death shocked our entire family. We remember and will remember him as a worthy person. Please accept our sincere condolences!
  30. We offer our deepest condolences to you and your entire family on your tragic death. We share your grief and turn to you words of support and consolation. We pray for the dead. Please accept my deepest condolences…

What should you be prepared for?

Grief over the death of a loved one sometimes brings relatives to such a state that from the outside their behavior seems a little unnatural and even strange. Not everyone stands with a mournful look at the coffin and periodically allows themselves to cry.

Situations that require special attention:

  1. A relative does not approach the coffin, does not talk to anyone and sits with an absent look. In this case, you do not need to climb to him with conversations. It is enough to say short words of condolence;
  2. The relative is drunk. To drown out grief, a person may drink alcohol for several days. This behavior also requires understanding. One should not give moral advice, and even more so not to say that the deceased would not have approved of this;

  3. The relative does not want to listen to condolences and reacts irritably to any requests for help. Another non-standard, but possible reaction to a stressful situation;
  4. The relative tries to be active, talks a lot, and sometimes is unnaturally positive. In the hustle and bustle, he tries to distract himself a little from the sad event. This is especially true for women. Sometimes they diligently avoid the topic of the death of their husband or child, trying to ask the commemoration guest about his personal life, work, etc.

Most of the listed actions are a protective mechanism of the psyche during severe stress.

How to calm a person whose relative has died?

To alleviate the mental suffering of a grieving person, it is enough to follow simple tips:

  1. Remember the good moments associated with the deceased. Of course, for this you need to be in close relations with the relatives of the deceased. For example, it is worth remembering how you all went somewhere to rest together, celebrated a holiday, etc. The more bright memories you have, the better;
  2. Note the good qualities of the deceased that distinguished him during his lifetime. The main thing is to tell the truth and not to attribute to the deceased characteristics that he did not have. For example, if a person during his lifetime was silent and gloomy, then it is not worth saying that he had a cheerful disposition and always remained positive. It will look like misplaced flattery. Instead, it is better to say that you have always liked the calm disposition of the deceased person or his ability to easily cope with difficulties;
  3. Offer all possible help. It is important that these are not empty promises. For example, if a relative of the deceased is in serious financial difficulty and you are asked to help pay for the funeral, then you should definitely keep your word. After all, if he agrees, and in response he receives an excuse, like “I had unforeseen difficulties,” then this will greatly offend him. It turns out that the promises to help were said insincerely. As a result, a person only gets more upset and disappointed in people;
  4. Listen . Often a grieving person wants to express their pain in words. But at the same time, not everyone is ready to immediately open up even to close people. Therefore, it is worth saying directly that you are ready to listen to him. But there is no need to insist if the relative refuses to talk;

  5. Show compassion without words . Sometimes it’s enough just to be close to a grieving person, to take a hand or gently embrace. It all depends on how trusting the relationship between you is;
  6. Share your experience of loss . You can tell how you survived the death of a loved one, how you were able to distract yourself, calm yourself and what gave you the strength to live on. It is only important not to compare your grief with someone else's, that is, to avoid phrases like: “I was able to get through this, and even more so you! It was much harder for me, no one supported and helped me, but you have adult and caring children. Let the story of personal experiences be, as it were, separate from the situation in which the mourner is.

Why is it so important to support a relative of the deceased?

The death of a loved one is one of the main causes of suicide. The first weeks after the funeral are especially dangerous, when the final awareness of the loss occurs. Some people suddenly realize that their own life no longer seems so meaningful without a loved one.

This is why the support of the mourners is so important. We must carefully monitor their behavior. Warning signs are:

  • Sudden change of mood from bad to good;
  • Putting things in order;
  • Poor appetite;
  • Too much sleep or prolonged insomnia.

Everyone recovers from loss differently. One week is enough, others can recover only after a month. If a person cannot return to normal life for more than a month and a half after the funeral, then you should think about taking the relative to a psychotherapist.

What to say at a funeral to the relatives of the deceased?

There are a few more phrases that would be appropriate to say to the relatives of the deceased:

When it comes time to express your condolences to the relatives of the deceased, you do not need to worry about the beauty of phrases.

Learn more