Women who like casual sex

We Asked Women How They Feel About Casual Sex

It is a misconception that casual sex is something that started happening in America in the 1960s with the advent of birth control or the Free Love Movement and then spread around the world. Casual sex is as old as humans. In ancient times, the strong alpha men had sex with numerous women. They would leave them with offsprings to nourish and raise because they were convinced that's what women are good for. However, the less charming men didn't have that luxury to be selfish scumbags, so they provided women with food and shelter in return for sexual favours. They would give each other their loyalty, and raise kids together. Evidently, most men and women preferred the latter and so started the beautiful concept of family.

All this is to say there are plenty of reasons many women prefer sex in a committed relationship, not all having to do with procreation. Some of us have a complicated view of one night stands, for others, it's stress-free and fun. To understand these views and how they're changing, I asked women around Canada how they feel about casual sex. Here's what they said.

Sarah, account manager, 23

When I was younger, I attended Jewish camp where everyone was hooking up all the time. So, casual sex isn't anything exotic for me. I had a pretty bad experience in a long-term relationship, and I don't want to go back for something like that. But, I have sexual needs, and I want someone to fulfill them, without demanding for all the exhaustive emotional labour.

When I look back in my relationship, I do think sex is better when you have feelings for someone. I won't lie though—orgasms are pretty exciting. The first time I had casual sex with someone I felt weirdly powerful that OK I fucked some guy. I don't even know his last name.

I sometimes feel like casual sex is like a transaction if we don't cuddle or do stuff afterwards. It's a shitty feeling if he's texting other girls. I do remain nervous and careful about STDs. I'm happier when I have a real connection with someone, but it's OK to satisfy your needs because now you can with birth control and normalization of casual sex.

The best casual sex experience I had was when this guy was really caring, asked me what I wanted, that was the best. I'd rather emotions be present even if it's casual.

Ali, 19

I didn't plan to have sex randomly. We were both tipsy, so it kind of just happened. I never expected it to go anywhere further or turning into anything "special." I would prefer sex in a committed relationship any day over casual sex. I would feel comfortable with the one I have a connection with and also will be sure about him not being a serial killer. If I do think casual sex could make me happy—I'd say for a few minutes when I orgasm—which isn't guaranteed by the way. I wouldn't call it happiness—maybe a transaction.

Raylene, real estate agent, 21

I'm too young for a serious relationship but I come across guys who are really good looking, and there's a vibe between us. I do it for fun. It is fun. I never expect anything special out of it. I've never caught feelings for anyone during a hookup, and I know for a fact that I will not find a guy I want to settle down with through this route. Guys who want to have sex right after they meet you aren't usually the guys that want anything serious. Casual sex makes me happy if I'm sober. It's basically sex in general and also the fact I chose to do it, and nobody forced me. I would only hook-up with older and low-key guys because they wouldn't shit talk to the whole city. I also pray that they don't.

Lily, 22

Since I've met too many emotionally unavailable men in my life, I prefer casual sex over an emotionally draining relationship. I am a very sexual person, and I believe my needs should be met. Maybe I am so emotionally detached because of my bad experiences, but I am not putting up with the misogyny BS anymore!

Prab, student, 19

Meaningless sex; the concept of no-strings-attached isn't as uncomplicated as the term itself sounds. I'd prefer sex in a committed relationship. It's beautiful—there's a point you'd feel your souls connecting. You have faith in the person; you feel safe; you can be yourself. The only reason I still like the idea of casual sex it because I sometimes feel love is impossible to find. So, I would incline towards casual sex to satisfy my sexual needs.

Men say we're all for women, but then the first thing they'd notice about a woman is her body. They are fascinated by big boobs and butts. If I can't have that it's really hard to find someone who'd like me—but I don't care. I like myself and still want to be in control to fulfill my desires. In casual sex, I feel I have the power to call the shots and ask for what I want directly. It gives me a kind of confidence and strength that "Yeah! I'm the alpha."

Orgasms make you happy—it's a simple natural process. I'm in my zone, and I'm satisfied. "Happy" is a strong word for it. I go for casual sex just to satisfy my needs until I find someone I connect with.

Aisha, student, 19

I don't feel comfortable having sex with strangers. I do need to have an emotional connection. Casual sex makes me feel weak and shitty. I think sex is something you should share with someone you care about and I would feel disgusting and dirty if I hooked up with someone I didn't have feelings for. I think about if I want to have sex with a person before and do it. Sex does make me happy, but I don't like the idea of casual sex. I think the wait to find "the one" is worth it. The reason I say it is because I feel even if the sex isn't great sometimes, you can both feel sad together. Haha.

Lina, communications coordinator, 25

It's addictive. Having sex with multiple men feels empowering for a while when you think everything is under your control. But then you ask yourself, OK what next? You become numb after a while, and you want just to settle. It's one of the worst kind of depressions where you feel lonely especially if you're insecure and emotional like me. There's a huge tendency that you'd end up settling for whatever you can get, and most of the times it is way less than you deserve. It just damages you.

Maria, 22

I had a crush on this one guy when I was 18 and one day we just hung out, and that lead to us making out and then having sex. I felt kinda happy. This was my first hooking up and sleeping with someone. Back then I thought if we hooked up, it would lead us to a relationship, but it didn't. We just became friends with benefits. Casual sex does not empower me; It makes me feel really bad at times, because I'm a type of person that overthinks on basically everything, so if I've had casual sex, I would be upset all day and just ask myself stupid questions like "why did I do it?" "what if it was shitty?" Maybe if I were still 18 I would say it's great, but now that I'm 22, I'm not much into it. It's just a few minutes of pleasure.

I've had some awful experiences, too. For example, when I was 19, I was at a bar and I had a few drinks in me and was feeling lonely since I got out of a long relationship. I saw this guy and I walked up to him and we started talking and one thing lead to another and we ended up hooking up. While everything is happening, he spit on my toe and started licking it, and he had an orgasm from that. Casual sex can be really gross at times.

Pree, student, 25

I did it once, and it made me feel like shit. I used to like this guy, even though I'd date other men he would be in the back of my mind and I'd compare everyone with him. Obviously, I was very open to having sex with him and hoping it would turn into something more. It didn't. He just wanted to orgasm and didn't give a flying fuck about my pleasure. I still remember walking out of his apartment with tears in my eyes thinking—WTF am I doing? Am I a mistress? It was the worst feeling ever and I would never do it again.

Aastha, architect, 23

I have never had casual sex. Never even thought of it. Being raised in a society where having sex or even dating before marriage is frowned upon—to figure out your own thoughts becomes a challenge. You just get used to living according to societal standards. Being everything a lady needs to be in today's world, I don't consider 'sex' as a measure to define modernity/empowerment/independence at all.

Nikki, account manager, 27

I don't feel anything after casual sex. It is just during it that is something. I live in the moment. I don't get carried away by emotions. I don't do it under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and never feel guilty. If I want to, I'll do it. It starts with casual talks in the bar about not so casual topics.

Meaningful conversations are a turn-on and when I feel connected with that person, I'm open to spending the night with them. I wouldn't mind if it turns into something special but I'm not looking for it actively. I'm never thinking about relationships when I'm hooking up because I know the other person has come with a mentality that this is a "one-time thing." I did catch feelings for someone once, and so I told him and he didn't want anything more so I never saw him again because obviously, I didn't want to give myself unnecessary pain. I'm very sorted and emotionally stable, but I'm not numb. So for me, most of the times casual sex is very passionate. The feeling that—this is it, it's not going to happen again, is exhilarating.

There are stigmas around having casual sex. It is seen as a bad part of society. But I feel like people living their lives according to social norms are caged animals and I'm a wild animal. I want life to be dynamic, not stagnant. I may or may not get married but I don't see marriage as a goal. Most of the people marry for security and stability. It's not supposed to be a goal for two people who actually love each other.

Melissa, PR consultant, 38

I'm a serial monogamist. When I was 28, I wanted to try and have fun. He wasn't the one to settle but he was so gorgeous. It was three amazing nights. Sex was art. But being the person I am I started wanting more and was disappointed in the end. He liked me but wasn't interested in something long term. Even though I knew going in, that's what it would be but it was hurtful in the end. I felt rejected afterward. I wanted to try something new that I'm not normally, because being who I was, I wasn't getting anywhere regarding marriage so I thought I'm never going to get married and have kids so let me just have fun like a liberated woman. I ended up feeling shitty though.

I feel sex is better in relationships, but I admire girls who can do that and are not hung up on one man or cry over them. I believe sex is sacred. But I know society has certain double standards for men and women. Men can do whatever, sleep with whoever, you're a player, you're a dude! But if it's a woman, then she's a hoe, she's a bitch.

Casual sex in no way can be empowering for women because it's about morality, not gender. In fact, I think that to a degree something really disempowering could happen if you're too free because at the end of the day, it still comes to be all about the man in the sense that men are delighted just to use your body and walk away and move on to next one. Whereas, being more circumspect and selective empowers you because that makes you more desirable. You're seen as exclusive and to me that resonates more—denying the man access to you is more empowering than to be easily available. Women who have casual sex should have serious conversation with themselves. If you want to do it, do it for the right reasons.

Filsan, student, 21

I hooked up with someone and it was uncomfortable. I did it because of peer pressure—I thought I had to experience it. Plus growing up in a family when you're told not to touch a guy and stay away from guys—it was an experience to see how it feels like, trial and error. He wasn't someone I see myself with but it was more like a business experience—thank you and see you never. Religiously, and personally I want my virginity to be for my husband because I believe sex is sacred.

I don't think women should be involved in casual sex just because men do it. Sex is something more on a personal and individual level because there are plenty men who would have sex only in committed relationships. So, I really don't believe casual sex makes you stronger or weaker—if you're a strong person—you'll remain strong. If it does make you feel stronger or weaker, you have emotional issues and need to figure what you like and don't like. You need to care of your body and be happy by yourself. That's when you're ready to share your life with someone or even engage in casual sex. Do it truly to satisfy your sexual desires—do it just for that.

Nancy, event planner, 24

The first time I hooked up with someone was the only time I hooked up. It was exciting and I can never forget it because it turned out the way I wanted in the first place. We've been together for two years now. Sexual freedom is a hidden fantasy but it is the sex with the same person you love and want to have sex with, makes you happy. I believe in having a nice and loving family. I'd give up anything for that.

Jumoke, business analyst, 28

I felt guilty after I hooked up with a guy in an after grad party. I am a person who waited until marriage for sex although I was in a relationship for five years with the man I got married to. I don't think sex is the most important part in a relationship—it's communication. Sex is major and nothing casual. There are too many negative things that come as a result of a few minutes of pleasure such as risk of pregnancy and diseases. It's unfathomable that it could be worth it.

I grew up being very aware of my responsibilities towards myself and that never made me so selfish just to have sex with random guys. I was conscious about the future I wanted and the kind of man I wanted to marry, and I didn't want to ruin it "casually." I don't regret not having casual sex. I believe in having a family. Also, it's a small world—things catch up. A person you hook-up with could be a person could be your husband's friend. Some people get away with it. But if no one else finds out, you do and you go back and start comparing be tempted to experience more. That's not happiness.

Liz, graduate student, 23

I've hooked-up with a person once, but it didn't lead to sex. I'm paranoid about STIs and sexual diseases and if I can't trust someone or ask them about when they had their last STI screen—I wouldn't risk it. Even if I am able to ask them, I need to have faith they'll give me an honest answer—faith is a big thing—doesn't happen casually because if you're asking someone who intends to get you in bed, they would say whatever you want to hear. These days people think sex is the most important part of a relationship. If you're not having sex within one month of dating, they think it's not even worth your time. Sex is not the most important part in a relationship. When the intention is to live with that person forever, sex becomes the least important. But people think that if you're not having sex like a maniac, it isn't working and is an unhealthy relationship. We see so many failing marriages when people think if they are not having sex the relationship is dead since they see a sign of marriage flittering if people stop having sex.

I'm not religious but I was raised Catholic so it's easy for me to internalize that if I engage in casual sex, I'm a slut mentality. In the schools, we were told that if you are "loose" you'll end up as a chewed gum and no one will want you. We're told that our consent is the ultimate prize- if we engage in casual sex, we've given up our highest value upfront which is messed up because since when our only highest valuable thing is our sexual attention? But it is omnipresent. Girls may engage in casual sex all they want, but when they like a guy their friends would tell them, "If you want it to go somewhere- don't have sex on the first date."

Anna, office administrator, 24

I peaked late and hook-up sites/apps were available and I sure wasn't looking for kisses. The sex definitely made me happy. It wasn't particularly all THAT enjoyable but it was the chase. I juggled so many guys at once, that if one said no to me, I'd have others on standby. Casual sex could be empowering for women, it was for me. For some reason, it feels like you finally hold the key. In the past and maybe to a lesser more microaggressive extent, I feel like women were shamed when they were promiscuous. Not giving a fuck and owning your body anyways—that's powerful.

I always like to think I felt stronger [engaging in casual sex] but I had my moments when I actually liked the guy and it felt like they were treating me like garbage. You only really feel weak when emotions play into it, right? But essentially, I felt like I am woman, I want sex so I'm getting it and I'm not waiting around for you.

I had good and bad experiences. Some I can recall fondly but some when I look back at it, make me shudder. Too many people try to put it into your butt by "accident"—I actually like anal sex but dude ASK. One guy took off a condom mid-sex. Too many guys try to imitate porn which is like obviously catered to men, and one tried to titty fuck me and I have no tits to speak of so he just rubbed his dick on my chest. One guy also kept getting phone calls during sex and he kept ignoring it until he had enough and answered it. He hung up and continued having sex with me and honestly one of the best sex I've had and after he told me about the call and it was his dad telling him his grandmother's dead. What a memorable Valentine's.

Women Enjoy Casual Sex Better When They Take the Initiative

Research has shown women generally regret short-term sexual encounters like one-night stands more than men do. A new study examines hook-ups and finds that a variety of factors determine the extent of a woman’s regret.

Norwegian investigators discovered initiative is the clearest gender-differentiating factor for regret after casual sex. However, other conditions also affect how much an individual regrets the encounter.

In contrast to women, sexual regret for men is not affected by whether they take the initiative.

“The factor that clearly distinguishes women from men is the extent to which they themselves take the initiative,” says Mons Bendixen, an associate professor in the Department of Psychology at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology (NTNU).

“Women who take the initiative see the man as an attractive sexual partner,” says Professor Leif Edvard Ottesen Kennair, also at NTNU’s Department of Psychology.

Bendixen and Kennair collaborated with Ph.D. candidate Joy P. Wyckoff and Professor David M. Buss at the University of Texas at Austin, and with Kelly Asao, a lecturer at the Institute of Social Neuroscience in Melbourne.

“Women who initiate sex are likely to have at least two distinguishing qualities,” says Professor David Buss.

“First, they are likely to have a healthy sexual psychology, being maximally comfortable with their own sexuality. Second, women who initiate have maximum choice of precisely who they want to have sex with. Consequently, they have less reason to feel regret, since they’ve made their own choice.”

“Regret is a highly unpleasant emotion and our findings suggest that having control over their decision to engage in sex buffered women from experiencing regret.

These results are another reminder of the importance of women’s ability to make autonomous decisions regarding their sexual behaviors,” says Wyckoff.

Men regret casual sex much less overall than women do, although it does happen. For women, several individual factors play an important role in their perception of regret.

“Women feel less regret if the partner was skilled and they felt sexually satisfied,” says Kennair.

However, these effects are not as strong in men. “Women have less regret if the sex was good. For men, this plays a less important role. The underlying causes are biological,” Bendixen said.

He explains that the higher-investing sex faces larger repercussions of mating decisions than the lower investing sex. Women have a higher minimum obligatory parental investment (e.g., nine months internal gestation) than men. So, women’s regret should be more closely tied to the quality of their sex partner than men’s.

“For women, sexual skill might be a cue to high male quality,” says Kelly Asao. In short, women may profit more from high quality in their sexual partners than men do.

Bendixen and Kennair, in collaboration with David Buss and his research team in Texas, have been looking at what people think of their own and others’ sexuality for the last several years, and whether they regret having had casual sex and why.

This study adds several factors that can explain responses to casual sex.

In the new research, study participants were asked: if they took the initiative for the sex act, if they felt pressured to have sex and whether the partner was skilled or sexually competent.

Participants were also asked if they experienced disgust.

Women admitted disgust more often than men after a short-term sexual encounter with the investigators believing this is a key factor in whether or not they feel regret.

“The feeling of disgust or revulsion is the single factor that best explained why women and men regretted the last time they had casual sex when we controlled for all other factors,” says Bendixen.

People may feel disgust because they feel moral regret, but also if the act is unhygienic or if the sex itself was perceived as gross. The impact of disgust was strong for both sexes and among both the Norwegian and the American student participants.

“Sexual disgust is an important adaptive emotion,” says Buss. “It functions to help people avoid, now or in the future, potential sex partners who are either low in mate value or who carry some risk of sexually transmitted infections.”

Researchers obtained data from 547 Norwegian and 216 American students. Interestingly, the nationality and possible cultural aspects of the responses seem to play a minor role, if any.

A larger proportion of Norwegian participants had casual sex than the Americans, but the patterns are the same, and the responses differed little in their reasons for regret and to what degree women and men feel any regret at all.

“It’s interesting that — despite clear gender and cultural differences in the levels of concern, pressure, disgust, how good the sex was, the partner’s sexual competence and initiative — clear similarities existed between the groups in how these factors affected the degree of sexual regret,” says Bendixen.

“With the exception of initiative-taking, it seems that the mechanisms for sexual regret are only minimally affected by whether you’re a woman or a man, or whether you’re a Norwegian or an American student,” says Kenner.

A significant aspect of the latest findings is that the researchers obtained the same results as they had done in previous studies.

Psychology is among the fields of study that have been criticized for not obtaining results that can be repeated in later studies. But Kennair and Bendixen have now done this.

“By studying the same phenomenon that’s based on clear theory, in several rounds, from different angles, and especially in different cultures, we can develop a theory-based cumulative science. The findings are simply more credible when we find out the same thing over several rounds,” Kennair says.

Source: Norwegian University of Science and Technology

Why casual relationships are useful - RU.DELFI

Yes, yes, ladies are not against casual sex, and they treat it quite calmly. Experts from the American Sexological Association have found that women, like men, love spontaneous sex at corporate parties, at resorts and parties with friends. Moreover, ladies most often do not undertake any encroachments to start an affair after this. But the most interesting thing is that not only young and free, but also respectable married ladies relax with strangers! So, it turned out that almost all married women cheat! True, unlike men, ladies behave more modestly.

During the entire period of marriage, they are given to random partners, on average, from two to five times. The funny thing is that women quickly forget about such intrigues, considering them to be something like innocent entertainment. This means that they do not feel any remorse. When they talk about bouts of male hypersexuality, they usually mean increased testosterone and even the "hormone of betrayal." The presence of this hormone in women has not yet been proven, but there is a simpler reason - ovulation. It is during this period that ladies are especially excitable and, if they see an attractive "male", do not hesitate to satisfy their needs with him. And the most interesting thing is that one-time sex brings a lot of benefits to the fair sex.

Intimate training

A stable relationship is not always good for sexuality. Of course, when you are loved, it's great, but it doesn't always help the body. The stronger the feelings, the more you are afraid to offend, the more difficult it is to point out to your partner what you don’t like in bed. So some ladies learn how to have fun and orgasms help connections with men who, in general, do not care. After all, when you do not bother with all sorts of unnecessary thoughts and feelings of a partner, you can fully focus on your feelings. Some women discover new paths to pleasure and even the ability to experience orgasm only during one-time relationships. Naturally, all this is then improved in a constant relationship.

Curiosity

Women, like men, love new sensations, but at the same time they want to remain free from feelings and obligations. Sex with a stranger excites the blood, pushes for various experiments. Therefore, often women during such contacts engage in such types of sex that they have not tried even with a permanent and beloved partner. This, of course, helps to loosen up, gain new experience.

To indulge vanity

Women need confirmation of their attractiveness and, if necessary, seek this confirmation from random partners. Men have such a sexual fantasy: seeing such an irresistible male, an unfamiliar woman instantly rushes at him, burning with passion. So a woman is flattered by such male behavior (of course, if she does not mind). Sometimes in such situations, sex itself is not so necessary for a lady, but she does not mind “rewarding” her partner with it. Naturally, such situations may well raise self-esteem, especially if the man turned out to be “on top”.

Revenge

Casual relationships can save marriages! So, ladies who go “to the left” with random partners usually recoup their resentment towards their husband in this way. Usually at the heart of this is the desire to feel needed. Men, unlike ladies, go “to the left” even in good marital relations and start long-term romances, even if everything is fine in the family. But women clearly separate casual relationships from long-term relationships. Women get involved in long-term romances only if the marriage began to break down, and there was nothing left in common between the spouses. Short-term ones serve to instantly raise self-esteem. Unlike men who, as an educational measure, sometimes give their spouse explicit hints of infidelity, women very carefully hide their little intrigues. Having received her portion of admiration from her lover, the lady again becomes an ideal wife.

Why is casual sex really not casual? Anthropologist explains

Society

Mutual love for many years is possible not only in rom-coms, but also in reality. Moreover, it is scientifically substantiated - even the choice of a partner for one night is actually not accidental for us. At least, this is the conclusion reached by anthropologist and scientific consultant for American dating sites Helen Fisher. Sobaka.ru publishes an excerpt from her book Soulmate. A Scientific Approach to Finding the Love of a Lifetime, which explores the chemical, psychological, and biological mechanisms of feelings.

Kissing

Kissing has a special effect on the human brain, which you are no doubt aware of. During the kiss, all the senses are stimulated. When you kiss, you not only see your partner, but also smell, taste, hear and feel him. There are a huge number of neurons in the lips that pick up the slightest signals. After that, five of the twelve cranial nerves transmit these vivid impressions to the brain, where they are already processed in the factory of impressions, in the somatosensory cortex. Much of this area of the brain is responsible for processing sensations around the nose and mouth, which is why your lips and tongue are so sensitive.

Kissing affects more than just your senses. It increases the heart rate and blood pressure, dilates the pupils and deepens breathing. Kissing increases the level of oxytocin, a hormone responsible for feelings of trust and affection, and reduces the amount of the stress hormone, cortisol. Thus, the kiss excites the brain, bringing pleasure and relaxation. In addition, it provides important information. In this unusual way, we learn about what our partner ate, drank and smoked, as well as valuable information about his or her genetic makeup. In addition, saliva contains information about certain immune system genes. As a rule, we are attracted to people with immune systems different from ours - to give their children a variety of genetic information. Therefore, when you kiss, you unwittingly learn all this important information. For example, a woman's breath and saliva smell differently depending on the period of her menstrual cycle, signaling the degree of her fertility.

Women say they kiss men primarily to find out more about them. Men have a different approach to kissing. With their caresses, they hope to move on to a more intimate stage of relations with a woman.

Their hopes are justified by their biology. A man's saliva is full of testosterone, a hormone that stimulates sexual desire. Perhaps this is why men like wet kisses more than women. The more saliva during a kiss, the more testosterone a man transfers.

Both men and women say that kissing brings them closer to their partner - at least this can be said about good kisses. Gentle, passionate, attentive: many tend to think that a person who knows a lot about kissing will be a suitable partner, spouse and parent. Meanwhile, a bad first kiss can ruin a budding relationship. In a recent study, after polling 58 men and 122 women, 59% of men and 66% of women answered that they ended a romantic relationship with a person after the first kiss. For them, it was the final kiss.

More than 90% of all people in the world kiss. In different cultures, there are different behaviors of men and women during a kiss immediately before intimacy. For some, kissing may be disgusting, while others lick, rub, suck, bite, or blow on each other's faces. Most other living beings also have kisses or caresses in the mouth area. Bonobos, the closest relatives of chimpanzees, practice the deep French kiss. Dogs lick each other. Moles rub their noses. Elephants put their trunks in each other's mouths. Albatrosses join the tips of their beaks. The kiss is provided by nature itself.

However, before you kiss, think about it: a kiss can start or end a relationship.

Casual sex?

Sex is good for health. Frequent sex improves your sense of smell, lowers your risk of heart disease, improves overall well-being, helps you lose weight, relieves pain, reduces the incidence of colds and flu, and… is addictive.

After good sex, you may want more sex, mainly because sexual activity increases testosterone levels.

Sex relieves depression, especially in women, because seminal fluid is a cocktail of chemicals that increase activity. Dopamine and norepinephrine in this male fluid reduce stress and give strength, optimism, focus and increase incentives. Oxytocin and vasopressin in seminal fluid can also induce feelings of deep attachment. And follicle-stimulating (FSH) and luteinizing (LH) hormones, found in male semen, regulate the menstrual cycle.

In other words, having sex with the right person at the right time is good for you. What about casual sex?

I'm not talking about how you "should" behave, I don't want to tell you how you should arrange your life. However, I want to share one secret of mother nature: casual sex is rarely accidental. Caress in the genital area stimulates the production of dopamine, a hormone in the brain responsible for feelings of intense romantic love. Immediately after orgasm, you feel a surge of norepinephrine, which is responsible for energy, arousal and concentration. So if you're having sex with someone you barely know, you can stimulate these powerful neural juices by pushing yourself to experience the feeling of passionate romantic love. What’s more, during orgasm, you get high amounts of oxytocin and vasopressin, the “cuddle hormones” associated with feelings of affection. Therefore, you can experience a strong connection with this partner.

To be honest, I often thought that men and women, when meeting a new person, on a subconscious level, pursue exactly this goal - to stimulate circulation in the brain that causes romantic feelings and feelings of affection in themselves and in a partner, and thereby begin new relationship. Interestingly, anthropologist Justin Garcia and other scientists recently came to the same conclusion. In his study of casual sex on an American college campus, Garcia found that 50% of women and 52% of men who entered into a one-night stand were ready to enter into a long-term relationship with this partner, and a third of these acquaintances turned into a romantic relationship. Casual sex can lead to love. Therefore, think carefully before plunging headlong into this relationship.

Serious intentions

If you are a man, don't take every slightest gesture from a woman as a sign of her sexual interest in you. And if you are a woman, do not jump to the conclusion that men are not interested in a serious relationship. They need them. Men fall in love much faster than women, most likely due to visual perception. They tend to be more dependent on their relationships due to the fact that they have fewer close friends with whom to share their feelings. Among divorced and single men, suicide is two and a half times more common than among their married peers, while divorced women are less likely to commit suicide.

If men overestimate a woman's sexual interest, women, on the contrary, tend to underestimate a man's desire for a serious relationship.

Born to Love

“Counsel is like snow: the softer it lays, the longer it lies and the deeper it penetrates,” wrote the poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Who knows which of the previous tips will stick in your memory and help you find and keep your "one"? Perhaps one day you will write to me about it. But I am sure of one thing: you will definitely fall in love.

We are born for love. Romantic love is a natural human desire, one of the three main components of our brain, which appeared millions of years ago. Sexual attraction drives us to have sex with a variety of partners, while romantic love involves directing our energy to procreate, children, from only one person at a time, and feelings of deep affection enable us to stay with the same partner long enough, to raise children together.

Of these three neural interactions, romantic love is the most powerful. It is definitely stronger than sexual attraction. After all, if you ask a friend to have sex with you and get rejected, you don't decide to commit suicide. However, rejected men and women may take this extreme step or sink into severe depression. Some people may even die from a stroke or a heart attack, which comes from having their heart broken.

“The heart of man is like a ship in a stormy sea, driven by the winds on all sides,” wrote Martin Luther. We love against all forces on earth. Patrick and Suzanne, whose wedding I attended, George and Martha Washington, Charles and Emma Darwin, ruler of Khasav-Chan-Kavil, whose temple shadow shrouded the temple of his beloved for 1300 years - these men and women loved each other, men and women still love and will love each other even after millions of years.

Romantic relationships can last for many years, according to a new brain scan study. Psychologists Bianca Acevedo and Art Aron, neuroscientist Lucy Brown, and I most recently performed brain scans on men and women who continued to love their spouses after more than twenty years of marriage.

Participants showed activity in the brain regions responsible for the three main types of attraction: sexual attraction, romantic passion, and attachment to lovers.

Love can endure a lot, including a lifetime of laughter and adventure, great sex, exciting conversations, fond memories of children, family and friends, feelings of passion and connection with another person.

Learn more