Why dont i ever want to do anything


11 Things to Do When You Don't Want to Do Anything

When you don’t feel like doing anything, often you really don’t want to do anything.

Nothing sounds good to you, and even well-intentioned suggestions from loved ones might make you a little cranky.

It’s absolutely natural to feel this from time to time, especially during times of stress or when busier than usual.

When this loss of interest (apathy) or reduced pleasure in the things you usually enjoy (anhedonia) persists, it may suggest something more serious. But usually, this feeling is only temporary — and these 11 strategies can help you shake it off.

Sometimes, not wanting to do anything is your mind and body’s way of asking for a break.

If you tend to push yourself to your limit more often than not, respecting your needs for a rest can help you avoid burnout.

Self-compassion is key in this situation. Acknowledge your hard work, and then give yourself permission to take some downtime. Take a nap, scroll through your favorite social media app, or curl up with your favorite blanket and a pet — whatever feels easy and relaxing.

Taking a break can help you:

  • recharge mentally and physically
  • think more clearly and perform better
  • avoid mistakes at work, on the road, and in other situations
  • prevent burnout

According to a 2019 study, high levels of burnout in nurses can affect the safety of the people they treat. In other words, taking a break can benefit not only you but also those around you.

Here are 12 signs you may need a break.

Getting some light physical activity outside — even if it’s just a 10-minute walk around the block — can help reset your mood.

Research has shown that exercise can benefit you in various ways:

  • reducing the risk of various diseases, including type 2 diabetes and some types of cancer
  • managing anxiety and depression
  • boosting strength, coordination and flexibility
  • strengthening the immune system
  • boosting mood and emotional well-being

In one study, nurses who took a break in a hospital garden performed better in tests assessing the psychological symptoms of burnout than those who took indoor breaks.

Even if you just sit on a bench, simply spending time in nature can have benefits.

Changing your environment might also help motivate you to do something else, like head over to your favorite coffee shop. Even if it doesn’t, spending some time outside might help you feel better about spending the rest of the day on the couch.

Learn 8 health benefits of being outdoors.

Journalling can help you sort through your emotions, and exploring your emotional state may shed some light on why you don’t want to do anything.

This can be particularly helpful if you haven’t felt like doing much for more than a few days.

Ask yourself if you’re feeling:

  • anxious, worried, or nervous about something
  • angry or frustrated
  • sad or lonely
  • hopeless
  • detached or disconnected from yourself

Any of the above emotions can occupy your thoughts and make it hard to think about doing anything else.

Try some light journaling about how you’re feeling, even if what comes out doesn’t make a ton of sense.

If you feel up for it, try following up by connecting some of these emotions to specific causes. Are changes at work making you feel anxious? Is scrolling through your favorite news app making you feel hopeless about the future?

Figuring out what’s behind these emotions can help you either come up with potential solutions or accept that certain things are beyond your control.

Positive affect journaling

Positive affect journalling is an emotion-based exercise that encourages people to focus on good things that have happened to them.

In one trial, people living with chronic diseases answered questions such as “What are you thankful for today” or “Who did something nice for you?” in writing. They did this three times a week for at least 15 minutes each time for 12 weeks.

After 12 weeks, participants reported “feeling better” overall and showed reduced levels of stress and anxiety.

The researchers suggested that positive affect journalling might be more “pleasant and uplifting” than journaling on negative emotions and past trauma. However, that, too, can serve a crucial role in helping people understand why they feel as they do.

What are 15 benefits of journaling, and how can you get started?

Of course, meditation is doing something. But try to think of it in terms of doing nothing in a mindful, purposeful way.

In 2019, a group of people participated in 13 minutes of meditation activities each day.

After 8 weeks, they showed signs of:

  • reductions in stress, anxiety and negative mood
  • enhanced ability to focus
  • improvements in working and recognition memory

Meditation is not always easy, especially at first. But it can help you become better able to notice your emotions and to accept them without judging yourself or letting them pull you down.

How do you get started with meditation?

When you don’t want to do anything, chatting to a friend, neighbor, or family member can sometimes help. You might look for a good empathic listener or just someone to go for a walk or hang out with.

Some researchers have suggested that older people who feel they have low levels of social activity might have a higher risk of developing depression. Others have found evidence that having a social network can help prevent depression and cognitive decline, which involves problems with thinking and memory.

When you don’t feel like doing anything, it can be tempting to hide away, but don’t do it for too long. Giving up social activities may make things worse in the long term.

What are 6 benefits of friendship?

Music can help fill the silence and give you something to think about when you don’t feel like doing much.

While putting on your favorite music can soothe you (or energize you, or excite you, or anything else, depending on what type of music you prefer), it may even have some benefits for your brain, including improved attention and memory.

Some research also suggests music may have the potential to help reduce pain and treat depression.

How does music affect your mood?

You may not want to do anything if you have a lot of unpleasant or boring things (like chores, bills, or errands) to get done. If they’ve been piling up, the thought of tackling them might feel particularly daunting.

Here are some easy chores that don’t take much concentration:

  • washing the dishes
  • making the bed
  • sorting out a cupboard
  • taking a bag of unwanted items to a charity shop
  • making one phone call
  • cooking a simple meal
  • putting away some washing
  • tidying up a desk

Doing just one task that you’ve been putting off can give you a sense of achievement, and you can tick it off the list. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, a tidy room or desk can help you feel less cluttered and more in control.

Try creating a list of everything you need to take care of. Then, rank them by priority — what needs to be done ASAP? What can wait until next month? You can also organize them based on how easy they are.

Pick something easy or high priority and make that your task for the day, even if it only takes you 20 minutes. Doing something, even something small, can help break you out of this rut of powerlessness and set you back on track.

Once you’re done, cross it off your list and give yourself permission to take it easy for the rest of the day.

What are some age-appropriate chores for kids?

Not meeting your physical or emotional needs can make you feel a little off and lethargic.

Ask yourself the following:

  • Am I hydrated?
  • Do I need to eat?
  • Should I get some more sleep?
  • Is anything upsetting me or stressing me out?
  • Would I feel better around people?
  • Do I need some time alone?

Depending on your answers, you may need to set aside some time for self-care.

If you notice you often don’t want to do anything and consistently have a hard time taking care of chores and other responsibilities, making a schedule can help.

You might already use a planner to note down important tasks or meetings you can’t forget, but a schedule can help you have a firmer plan for what to do when you don’t feel like doing anything.

You don’t have to account for every minute of your day (unless that helps), but try to create some general time blocks for:

  • getting up
  • preparing for the day
  • making meals
  • school, work, or household responsibilities
  • seeing friends or other social activities
  • going to bed

Also, set aside time for activities you enjoy and spending time with loved ones.

Try not to be too hard on yourself if you can’t stick to this schedule. It may just be a sign that you need to rework some things or set aside more time for certain tasks.

Remember, it’s really okay to do nothing sometimes. But if you feel like you should be doing something or have some feelings of guilt around “wasting time,” reading a book can be a low-key way to feel productive, especially if it’s a nonfiction book on a topic you want to learn more about.

If you’re concerned about a low mood or having difficulty coping in the longer term, books on self-help or cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) might help. Research suggests CBT self-help books can reduce depression and boost overall well-being in people with mild to moderate depression.

If you feel too low on energy to even hold a book (it happens), consider an audiobook instead. Many libraries let you borrow audiobooks or e-books for free, as long as you have a library card.

Audiobooks are great for people who don’t have much time to read, since you can enjoy books while doing almost anything else. They can also offer a way to “read” if you’d rather lie still and let sounds wash over you.

How can reading books benefit your health?

Not wanting to do anything doesn’t necessarily mean you have depression, but it can sometimes be a sign.

Depression often doesn’t improve without support from a mental health professional, so it’s best to talk to a therapist if the above tips don’t seem to help.

It’s also best to reach out if you experience:

  • persistent low mood
  • loss of interest in things you usually enjoy
  • general disinterest in most things
  • low energy or fatigue
  • thoughts of self-harm or suicide
  • irritability or other unusual mood changes
  • feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, or worthlessness

People living with anxiety may also have a hard time doing anything when feeling particularly worried or anxious. You might feel restless and unable to settle on anything or move from task to task.

Therapists can help you work through anxiety symptoms, so it’s a good idea to reach out if you experience:

  • persistent worries or fears that seem uncontrollable
  • racing thoughts
  • sleeplessness
  • panic attacks
  • stomach distress

Not sure where to start? Our guide to finding affordable therapy can help.

You’re the best judge of your own needs. Sometimes, doing nothing is exactly what you need — and that’s okay. Just take care to pay attention to other signs that may alert you to something else going on.

How can you motivate yourself to work when you’re really struggling?

Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. In particular, she’s committed to helping decrease stigma around mental health issues.

7 ways to beat your 'I don't want to do anything' mood

If you constantly feel like you don't want to do anything, you could simply be demotivated. However, you could also (unknowingly) be in a deep depression. Dee Marques explains how you can distinguish between the two and offers seven ways to remotivate yourself.

 

You may (or may not) know the feeling. Those days when you wake up and struggle to get out of bed. It’s not that you don’t have anything to do – in fact, the chores may be piling up. But all you can seem to think is: “I don't want to do anything”. Along with the lack of motivation, you feel more irritable and fatigued than usual, and you may even beat yourself up for feeling like this.

I’ve been there. I know that the struggle with motivation is real and uphill. And I know that it can affect everyone; even those of us who are usually active. So, what can be done about it?
 

Demotivation or depression?

Low motivation and lack of energy can be caused by different things. Knowing the source of your lethargy is important, especially since certain forms of demotivation are linked to depression.

 

One of the distinctive symptoms of depression is something called anhedonia. This is the inability to find pleasure or enjoyment, even in activities that we would normally love. Anhedonia can interfere with self-care and leave you feeling empty and demotivated.

Learn how to tackle lethargic feelings 

 

However, not all demotivation is a symptom of depression. So, how can you tell apathy from something more serious, like anhedonia? Generally speaking, if the mood lasts more than two weeks and you see no improvement, it might be a sign of a mental health issue like depression. Since anhedonia may have a neurobiological basis, it’s best to get a professional diagnosis so you can be referred to a specialist.

 

Is it burnout?

After being exposed to stress for a long time, both mind and body can shut down, leading to what’s known as burnout. And, during burnout, feeling like you don't want to do anything can be a regular occurrence.

A common misunderstanding is that burnout is only work-related, but that’s not true. The stress of the pandemic has taken its psychological toll of many, and has even led to a new expression being coined: Covid burnout. This is characterized by a sense of feeling overwhelmed, low-level anxiety and a lack of motivation.
 

 

Burnout is often a sign that some important needs are not being met. If you’re going through this, you need time to recover, honour your needs, and make changes to your daily routine until you get your usual energy levels back.

Whether the low mood is the result of burnout or something else, there are other useful steps you can take to cope better with the 'I don't want to do anything' feeling.
 

7 steps to getting re-motivated

 

1. Accept how you feel

Have you noticed how sometimes, the more you try to ignore an emotion, the stronger it becomes? This is because emotions are more than just feelings: they carry a message that wants to be heard.

The same can happen if you try to fight your 'I don't want to do anything' mood. Low energy and low motivation are important messages you need to pay attention to. If you ignore them, or push yourself to stay busy, the messages may become louder and stay with you for longer.

 

“Use your 'I don't want to do anything' mood as an opportunity to take a break, and don’t feel guilty about it, because obviously you need it in order to get back to your usual self.”

 

So, if you don’t feel like doing anything, accept that this is your reality – today. But notice that I wrote 'today'. Because here’s the caveat: acceptance is a good strategy if you see your demotivation as a temporary setback, but it’s not a wild card to complacency. In other words, don’t use acceptance as an excuse for long-term self-pity or self-sabotage.

 

2. Practise self-compassion

If a dear friend told you they didn’t feel like doing anything, what would you say to them? Chances are you would be kind, understanding and compassionate. Is that how you’re treating yourself, or are you doing the opposite?

 

We often treat ourselves worse than we treat our loved ones, but this double standard can be damaging to our mental and emotional health. So, why not extend your ability to feel compassion to yourself?

Related: How to be your own best friend

 

Maybe you’ve gone through a lot in the past few months. Maybe you’ve had to adapt to a new job, lost a job, or had to move homes. It’s normal to feel unsettled or mentally exhausted. Acknowledge what you’ve achieved so far, acknowledge your struggles, and the fact that ups and downs are a part of life.

 

3. Take some 'me time'

Use your 'I don't want to do anything' mood as an opportunity to take a break – and don’t feel guilty about it, because obviously you need it in order to get back to your usual self.


 

There’s no recipe as to what 'me time' should include; what matters is that it works for you. It could be anything from taking a whole day off to simply rest and relax, or having a nice bath and curling up in bed with a book or a movie.

'Take a break' may be the message that this mood carries, or it may be the first step towards figuring out what the message is. Either way, 'me time' will take some pressure off so you can see things from a more balanced perspective.


Soak up some 'me time' shutterstock/Breslavtsec Oleg

 

4. Keep track of how you feel

It’s easy to fall into a rut of feeling “meh” and letting days merge into one. To avoid that, it could be helpful to keep track of how your moods, ideally in writing. You can start by describing your feelings more specifically. You may feel like doing nothing, but what emotions are attached to this? Is it anger, frustration, sadness or something else? Defining our feelings is the first step in learning how to manage them.

 

“It’s easy to fall into a rut of feeling 'meh' and letting days merge into one. To avoid that, it could be helpful to keep track of how your moods, ideally in writing.”

 

You should also try journaling. Keeping a written account of your feelings can help you detect patterns or spot the things that could be making you feel worse. This is all important to help you stay away from what’s not helping and move towards motivating or inspiring activities and routines. Here are six different journaling techniques that you can try. 

 

5. Make (small) plans

When you don't want to do anything, planning for the future can be overwhelming. But staying stuck in the present will do little to improve your mood and energy levels. Ideally, you want to keep an eye on the future in a way that feels manageable. This is important, because having a vision for the future is essential to motivation: as humans, we’re created to make plans and be involved in projects.


 

You can try to choose a few actions that require planning, like going for a hike or an overnight camping trip, redecorating a room in your house, or preparing your favourite meal. When you’re demotivated, doing any of these things may feel like too much, but the key is choosing something you’d normally enjoy – or have always wanted to do – and visualizing the entire experience. Picture each step, how it will make you feel, create momentum through visualization, and then make the plans needed to make it happen.

 
6. Make a list of positives

This is something I do when I feel like I don't want to do anything. I find a comfy spot, put a few drops of my favourite essential oil in a burner, and I make a list of 50 things that make me feel good. If you’re thinking that coming up with 50 things is a stretch … you’re right! But that’s part of the exercise, because that will keep your brain focused on positive topics for quite a while.

I like this exercise for two reasons:

  • It takes almost no physical energy, but you’re still doing something.
  • Creating the list can generate positive emotions, like gratitude, joy and contentment.

Positive emotions underpin psychological well-being, and can also prepare you to cope better with adverse life events.
 

7. Share what you feel

When you feel down, thinking that nobody is there for you or that no one understands you can make things worse. You may not want to 'bother' friends or family, or you may think that they won’t have a solution to your problems, so what’s the point, anyway?
 

 

But again, this is a matter of treating yourself like you’d treat your loved ones, so seek the comfort you need. This is valuable, even if you don’t get a magical solution that makes everything right. Studies have shown that sharing our concerns can help reduce emotional pain and become less reactive to negative events.

 

The takeaway

If you’re stuck in 'I don't want to do anything' mood, remember that this too shall pass. Take this as an opportunity to rest and practise self-compassion, trying some of the suggestions listed in this article. With a bit of patience, you’ll hopefully overcome this and be back to your usual self. However, if you don't seen improvements in your apathy and lethargy, do seek help from a medical professional (advice below). •
Main image: shutterstock/amenic181
 

If you're experiencing any of the signs of depression make sure to reach out to your local mental health services.  In the US, you can also contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline for free and confidential support. Use Lifeline Chat or call  1-800-273-TALK (8255)In the UK, call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected] for a reply within 24 hours. You can also text “SHOUT” to 85258 to contact the Shout Crisis Text Line, or text “YM” if you are under 19. 

 

Written by Dee Marques

A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

What to do when you don't feel like doing anything - Personal experience on vc.ru

Once upon a time there was a girl and she was very productive. Yes, so I worked at night, crossing off the next task in the to-do list, quietly rejoicing in success. Well, as one would expect after 6 years of work burned out. Extinguished. All. Long lasted you say) Yeah, a long time. So much so that now he cannot set and close a single goal.

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And everything is in order with her responsibility, organization (what other words for O are there?) And she understood everything, but did not do it. And to be absolutely precise, I did it, but almost immediately quit.

And then I thought. Why do people "know how" but don't do it? It is clear that everyone has their own story and reason, but let's try to identify some general pattern.

Why do people "know how" but don't do it?

Based on personal experience, I have identified the following causes

1. Wrong goal/task. Wrong, inaccurate, unnecessary target. Once upon a time my goals were clear and precise. Wake me up in the middle of the night and I will list everything I need. Ask me now and I'll say "I don't know. Well, there are plans, yes.

Understanding what you want is the basis of everything. A correctly formulated task based on this is 60% success.

With the definition of the goal, everything is simple for me - do whatever you want, and the unnecessary will fall off in the process. No need to delve for a long time “oh, is this exactly my true one?” You will find out in the process, the main thing is not to stand still. Here, many people like to give examples from the category “oh, if you want rock and roll, why should I quit everything and go do it?” Is this what you really want? Well, then everything that is not prohibited by law is allowed. What happened, then the goal is my favorite phrase. Not everyone is destined to live as pshniks)

No need to delve for a long time “is this exactly my true?” You will find out in the process, the main thing is not to stand still.

There are many different methods for setting goals, I think many are familiar with them. I have determined the following approach for myself:

- Determine what exactly needs to be done

- Set a deadline and determine what will be the criterion for successful completion

- Compare this result with the main global goal of the day / week / month, etc.

Example: “I would like to perform in front of an audience” is not a goal and will most likely remain something abstract on one of the shelves in my head. “I want to give a lecture on the topic “Name” in front of 5-10 people. in St. Petersburg" is already better. There is an understanding of the audience, the topic of the lecture, the location. Then you can select subtasks and get down to business.

2. Further, I would single out “I can’t and I can’t”. It seems that I have decided on the goal, I have prescribed the tasks, but it does not go any further.

With "I can't" everything is clear. We are looking for resources and learning, doing it in parallel.

But “I can't” is more complicated. It's all about the lack of resources. And if with material, temporary, etc. You can understand the process in quite understandable ways, but with a lack of energy for actions it is more difficult. It needs to be filled before proceeding with the action. At the same time, it should be taken into account that the current level of energy is sufficient only to complete the current level of tasks. If growth is needed, then more energy is needed.

3. Unwillingness to take responsibility and fears. If all of a sudden things don't go the way I wanted, who's to blame? After all, there is only me and ... me.

If responsibility sags, you need to gradually build it up. Usually behind the reluctance to take responsibility is the fear of failure.

You can work through the steps from the smallest to the most significant. For example, in the morning, promise to buy bread for dinner and perform this action. Or take on a small task at work as a personal initiative and complete it. Gradually, the fear of responsibility will decrease.

It is also helpful to remind yourself, “Am I really ready to hand over responsibility for my life to another person? And why did I suddenly decide that in this case I would live it exactly as I dreamed?

4. Laziness. Sometimes, systemicity and organization will save here. Plan ahead for the day so there is no escape route. Prepare in advance the form for the gym, the time of training (ideally if a coach is waiting for you there) so that in the morning you can just get out of bed and lazily leave the house. If you still can’t decide on your goals, then it’s better to do at least something than to do nothing. For example, you can try to lie down and do nothing. Nothing. I assure you, after a while you will have desires)

And what to do with all this?

Understanding the following helped me find the answer to this question:

  • Action takes precedence over planning. It's better to do something than to do nothing. Small steps in a spread, instead of a clear plan, can also be useful. The results of these steps can point you in the right direction. And at the same time help to build confidence.
  • Energy takes priority over time. The amount of energy is one of the most important things to keep an eye on. Even if you have a lot of free time, but the light in your soul goes out, nothing will come of it. Remember about proper and varied nutrition, healthy sleep, your personal hobbies and hobbies, physical activity.
  • Good is better than perfect. Sometimes you need to subdue your perfectionist and just do it well. It is better to improve the tangible result later than to create nothing in an attempt to bring it to the ideal.
  • Think in terms of development, not that everything is predetermined. Thinking in terms of development allows you to remain flexible. If something doesn't fit, you can change it.
  • Focus on strength, not weakness. Sometimes it's better to focus on what you're good at than what you're not good at yet. This will help you get back on your feet and gain the confidence to move on.

In general, just get up, take it and do it. If you don't want to, don't. The main thing to remember is that what happened is the goal.

If you don't want it, don't do it. The main thing to remember is that what happened is the goal.

So, well, where is the "5 steps to take ..." why did I read all this?

I'm sorry, they won't be. Tell me how many books/articles have you read on this subject? How many motivational videos with a step-by-step plan have you watched? Do you still need a new list to copy into your notes? You already know better than anyone how and what to do, you do not need a plan of action from me or anyone else.

And if I haven't convinced you and you still need advice, then here's one that always helps me: if you don't know how to proceed and what to do, go for a walk and go until you understand how to proceed. And you will definitely feel it, believe me)

I don't want anything. Nothing at all. What to do with it?

What to do: learn to relax and distribute internal resources.

One of the most popular causes of apathy is not laziness, as people like to talk about it, but chronic fatigue and overwork, which we simply stopped paying attention to. If you are accustomed to regularly not getting enough sleep (that is, sleeping less than seven hours a day), always being in touch at work, not taking a vacation for a long time (or spending it, in fact, not resting, but pleasing others), you hardly move, then you are overtired. a long time ago. And the lack of rest deprives our brain of critical thinking and does not allow us to see things in perspective. Indeed, how do you find motivation to move on if you do not give yourself any regular encouragement? Just rest is important for our motivation no less than the usual salary, gifts to ourselves, delicious food and a comfortable standard of living.

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Our upbringing tends to glorify workaholism, and many of us were not taught to rest properly at all: rest is often associated with loss of control and missed opportunities to become better and do more. Rest, like work, often needs to be learned in adulthood - and any learning should proceed gradually. To prevent the changes from coming too abruptly, try dividing your long-awaited vacation plan into weeks.

In the first week, mainly restore sleep - by all means regain the necessary seven hours of sleep (and even more) at the expense of other, less urgent matters. For an experiment, you can move old hobbies, communication and the habit of starting the day by reading mail and instant messengers. Track your mood after this week - enough sleep usually brings back an optimistic outlook on things.

Next week, while maintaining your new sleep habit, limit your working time - create a routine and hours within yourself when you are not distracted by work issues (but postpone them until the actual working day).

In the third week, regulate the weekend: a clear working week and two days of rest, in which you do only things that please you (of course, if possible).

In the fourth week, calculate how much time you have, if sleep or work is taken out of brackets, and what this time is spent on: how much time do you spend on the road, how much for everyday life, how much for communication, education, helping loved ones. The numbers for these three weeks will clearly show you what the cause of constant overwork is, while fixed sleep and work hours will help you prioritize fairly and be realistic about your own resources.

© Toa Heftiba/Unsplash

What to do: allocate the necessary time only for yourself and do not measure life by efficiency.

This paragraph is similar to the previous one, but does not duplicate it. Very often, our diary is full of “favorite” things and activities in which we will definitely achieve success, rejoice in victories and live life to the fullest: morning starts with a run, the day continues at our favorite job, we spend the evening with our family, watch new movies at night, read important books and chatting with friends. In between, we go to meetings, go out to dinner with colleagues, visit our parents and go on business trips, take lessons at a driving school and learn foreign languages.

Such a life may look good in a diary and instagram, but, most likely, it is psychologically exhausting. You can’t be on top 24/7, read only useful books, have time to help everyone, listen to audio courses in traffic, play educational games with children and cook the best dinners in the world. Or rather, you can - for a while, until you stop wanting to do anything. Even favorite things in a tightly packed calendar cease to please, and improvisation and time for yourself remain the only option.

Here, as in the first paragraph, it is worth acting progressively. According to the priority list, free the next week from business, without doing which you will definitely not let anyone down. See how much free time you have and if you have enough of it. Do not plan anything and act according to the situation. If you want to take a walk during these couple of hours, feel free to go for fresh air. Take care of yourself please. Call friends - yes. Read a book, of course. The main thing - do not plan to read a book, call friends and go for a walk a few hours before, give yourself time to feel this natural impulse to a specific, rather than familiar activity. And most importantly - if there are no desires, reward yourself with the luxury of just lying and spitting at the ceiling. Perhaps it is these half-hours over the past year that will bring you the most joy and you will realize that you have greatly underestimated the restorative power of the most banal idleness.

© Christopher Jolly/Unsplash

What to do: distance yourself from difficult people or clearly draw the boundaries of your interests.

It's very difficult to stay motivated when your familiar environment doesn't inspire you. We underestimate the importance of the support of loved ones, the mood of the team and the attention of acquaintances in our daily life: if our efforts are taken for granted, and people around us do not wait for praise, even our favorite duties are very difficult to fulfill. That is why, if in your life the issue of lack of freedom (that is, points 1 and 2) is resolved, you need to pay attention to the people with whom you spend the most time. To begin with, analyze how you feel at home, whether you want to return there and what emotions you most often experience with household members. Do you live alone or with someone? How and when did this situation come about? Do they cheer you up, do the closest people take care of you? Do they find good in your daily life? Are your deeds and achievements appreciated? Do they manage to cheer you up in a difficult situation?

Very often people who live together lose their boundaries and begin to take the second person for granted, be it a daughter, mother, wife or girlfriend, and it is very unpleasant to be in such a role of function. Track, after communicating with which people you often feel worse and whether this communication is regular.

How is your work environment? Do you have an established team or does everyone pull the blanket over themselves? Do you have the right to be wrong? Think about the people you are surrounded by in general and whether they give you the necessary mood, inspiration, energy. If you have not been interested in your circle for a long time, if you are tired in a couple or in a work team, but these relationships determine a third or half of your time, it is not at all surprising that at some point you will not want anything but loneliness and doing nothing.

What to do: get an outside opinion and find new reasons to move on.

The daily repetition of the same actions sharpens our motivation, even if we do what we love and communicate with nice people. “I don’t want anything” is very often a consequence of the fact that you are confused about where specific relationships, deeds and people are taking you, or a true feeling that past motivations have stopped working. This often happens when we outgrow the goals imposed from the outside. For example, we work at a job that our parents wanted for us, and not ourselves. Or one that was agreed to in a hurry a few years ago. We continue a relationship in which nothing interesting happens for a long time. We solve material issues and postpone the daily pleasures of life. We have a strategic plan that does not inspire, and we execute it from month to month. Alone we pull a big family business or several family members, while not receiving any pleasure or gratitude. Motivation is gone, your eye is blurred, your choice seems to be wrong, and you are not yet able to make a new one - there is no necessary distance to separate yourself from life's circumstances.

In this situation, there is a danger of accepting someone else's point of view as one's own. Instead of advice, ask people you love and trust for an outsider's perspective. Let them describe your best qualities and great achievements, and voice your progress over the past few years. Let them tell you what your strengths attract the most, highlight your obvious features, voice important stages of your journey. It is not necessary to take all the comments on a pencil, but in case of a long confusion, a look from the outside (especially if several people speak frankly with you) will help restore the lost ground under your feet and a sense of your own value.

Don't be afraid to admit that your old goals no longer appeal to you. It's okay to say "I don't want my own business, I want to work for someone" or "I need to get out of this relationship" or "I chose the wrong job" or "This place doesn't suit me." pocket." By shifting your focus to your strengths, which others recognize, you are likely to find momentum to take action in a new direction. And even observing yourself instead of denying dissatisfaction will be an important step towards something new.

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What to do: learn to recognize daily victories and reward yourself for your efforts.

A very common educational problem - praising for grades and underestimating efforts - has a bad effect on the well-being and self-perception of an adult. It seems that things are done, the checkboxes in the important list are ticked, but you are really only concerned about the stress of the next day. You fail to exhale and internally pat yourself on the shoulder, you downplay your merits and focus on the thanks and comments of others (and people are not so inclined to praise and cheer each other up at the right moment), all the results seem insufficient. The perspective is distorted: each new day brings only a new list of things to do, and no one will say thank you for it. The way out is to learn to praise yourself for little things. It will seem very unnatural at first, but you need to learn to notice your achievements yourself and stop the inner critic, if not the tyrant.

Think about how many things you do, relatively speaking, according to the list, and how much you do automatically. Does the fact that you do something automatically mean that it's unimportant? Put things in order, cook a delicious breakfast, congratulate friends on the holidays, do exercises, take care of yourself and others, check your child’s homework, visit your parents, water the flowers and feed the cat - yes, it is these trifles that often eat up so much time. Add to that the day-to-day activities at work and the amount of new knowledge and contacts you get each day just by doing your job well.

Often, this number of tasks is accompanied by studies, helping others, raising children, charity, organizing events - and this is a truly huge contribution that should be noticed and reckoned with the efforts spent. Schedule your week according to the results of the big and seemingly insignificant things done, remember everything that would not have been done without you, and everyone you helped. Such a list will clearly show how often you should recognize your merits and smile at your own reflection for your great efforts.

What to do: stop accusations of lack of desire.

Childless people are told that they should have children. People who are not in a relationship are taught that they need a relationship. People with modest incomes are told that they should earn more. Adults are told that it is necessary to protect youth. Young - that you need to grow up as soon as possible. Desires are imposed on us all around, which have very little to do with our characters, temperaments and plans. The question "What do you want?" sounds in the store, and at the appointment with a therapist, and at a job interview, and in a conversation with friends. Or you may want nothing at all. Of course, temporarily - a person cannot do otherwise. But it is perfectly normal not to want anything at this moment in time, not to suffer from a feeling of inferiority and not to justify it to anyone.

Remember all the desires imposed on you and see if you are living them in the present.


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