Why do i get mad so easily for no reason

WHEN YOU FEEL ANGRY AND DON’T KNOW WHY | 5 REASONS WHY YOU’RE FEELING ANGRY

Sometimes it’s clear why we feel angry, but a lot of the time, we react angrily to something and later think, “Why did I get so mad?” Maybe you feel angry all the time or feel angry for no reason. Or maybe you’re noticing an undercurrent of anger and resentment in your day-to-day life or that you seem to get mad way too easily. I’m going to go out on a limb and say this: if you’re noticing that you’re feeling anger, resentment and frustration on a daily basis, there’s something you need to fix. Today I’m going to teach you the five real reasons you’re feeling angry so you can make some real changes.

First things first, anger is a healthy emotion! Anger can be motivating and a reasonable response to a threat to your physical well-being. However, anger should dissipate once the threat is gone. If you feel angry again days or years after an event, you’re feeling resentful. “Re” at the beginning of a word means “again,” so you’re literally re-sensing or re-feeling something (in this case anger).

7-minute read
Prefer to listen to the podcast? Click here!

“Anger can be a lot like alcohol: too much of it can become addictive and ruin your life.”- Dr. Robert Enright

So again, if you feel angry, resentful or frustrated on the daily, then there’s definitely something else going on that you need to uncover! For example, if everything your mom says to you feels like an attack or if you often notice that the level of your angry response doesn’t fit the situation, it’s time to stop, take stock and figure out what’s really going on.

The Five Real Reasons You Feel Angry

1. You Feel Angry Because You’re Afraid

I’m always quoting author Celeste Ng who said, “Anger is the bodyguard of fear.” When you’re feeling anger or resentment, ask yourself these two questions:

What else am I feeling right now? What’s below this anger?
What am I really afraid of?

We’re afraid of all kinds of things but they generally boil down to our fear of abandonment and rejection, which are age-old hard-wired fears that we need to identify so we can stop reacting to them. We’re ultimately afraid that our partners are going to leave us and that we’ll be alone.

When you’re angry at something, you’re really saying you fear it or your reaction to it. If you hate your ex, you’re saying you fear them or your reaction to them.

2. You Feel Angry Because You Have Poor Boundaries

Poor boundaries are at the heart of just about every angry, resentful or frustrated feeling you have and there are a few ways poor boundaries show up. Maybe you’re saying “yes” to things when you really want to say “no!” Maybe you feel like you have to do things for family, friends or at work so you’re acting like a victim or allowing yourself to be treated poorly.

When you’re a people pleaser you’re left feeling mentally and physically exhausted and then resent those that are “making you feel that way.” It’s not anyone else’s job to keep your boundaries. That’s your job!

When someone doesn’t respect your boundaries, it’s up to you to make sure you follow through with an appropriate response or consequence. If you’re blaming others for making you feel a certain way, you’ve got yourself some crappy boundaries and it’s time to get clear on your standards and hold those boundaries steady.

Another way your poor boundaries are showing up is if you think that the only way others listen to you is if you lose your shit. Nope. Those are your crappy boundaries again. It’s not about them listening to you, it’s about you listening to you, holding your boundary and having a consequence for people who don’t respect it.

Yet another way these bad boundaries show up is in being a martyr in any way. You end up rationalizing: “I can’t take time off work because then I just have twice as much when I get back.” Or “Between taking care of the kids and my mom I don’t have any time for myself or self-care.” Yep… it’s this kind of stuff that feeds leads us to feel angry all the time or feel angry for no reason (it seems!).

3. You Feel Angry Due to an Underlying Mental Health Issue

Anger, frustration and overwhelm are often signs of either undiagnosed or undertreated mental health issues. Angry outbursts are one of the key signs of depression that often get missed since people think of depressed folks as being quiet and not saying anything.

If you have anxiety, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and then lash out at others. One of the symptoms of a substance abuse problem can also be lower frustration tolerance (I see this a lot with people who smoke a lot of pot) or angry outbursts.

It’s possible you’ve been diagnosed with one of these conditions but you’re not being treated effectively. This could be the wrong prescription or the wrong dose of a certain medication or that you’re not receiving the right type of counseling for your particular needs.

4. You Feel Angry Because You’re a Control Enthusiast

When you’re trying to control the world and can’t, it’s easy to get annoyed. Maybe you don’t like how your partner is parenting your kids. Maybe you see a much easier way to do things at work, but no one will listen to you. Maybe you’re asking your kid to clean up after themselves and, once again, they leave the house and there’s still a mess in their room.

I’ve been very open with my own control issue struggles and I need to tell you that you’ve got to give up trying to control the world if you want to be happy. It’s time for some loving detachment and looking at why you feel this need to control situations and others. Once again, you’ll ask yourself those questions from earlier:

What else am I feeling right now? What’s below this anger and need to control?
What am I really afraid of?

Learning to deal with your control issues is paramount to finding peace and emotional regulation in your life and to help you not feel angry all the time or feel angry for no reason.

5. You Feel Angry Because You’re Masking Guilt

Lastly, you might feel angry at someone but don’t feel like you have permission to feel angry, so it’s coming out as displaced anger. For example, if your partner is an alcoholic who’s trying to get sober you might find yourself getting very angry at work where you feel more permission to be upset.

Or maybe you were raised by a single mom who worked three jobs but was never there. Intellectually you understand that she was amazing and worked hard to keep you fed and safe, but the kid in you feels abandoned and angry because she wasn’t around when you needed her. You feel guilty or even ashamed that you feel that way so, once again, that anger comes out somewhere else where you feel more permission to be angry. Or maybe you’re angry and resentful with your own kids when they look for more and more of your time.

“Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone; it’s you who gets burned.” – The Buddha

Wrap Up

Learning why you feel angry and what it’s truly covering up is the first step in moving forward to a healthier emotional life. But there’s other work to do. Next week, we’re going to be talking with Dr. Robert Enright about his incredible work with forgiveness. Since the first step in forgiving anyone is recognizing that you’re angry, you’re off to a great start. Join me next week with the man Time magazine called, “The Forgiveness Trailblazer” and learn this next step in moving on from your anger and resentment and stop feeling angry all the time or angry for no reason.

Don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter below!

RESOURCES

Boundaries: How to Identify Them and How to Hold Them

The Secret to Making Boundaries Not Walls

How to Say “No” and Stick to It

VIDEO: How to Say “No” and Stick to It

Your People Pleasing Might Be a Trauma Response

Loving Detachment

3 Steps to Loving Detachment

You’ve Got to Have High Standards and Low Expectations

What to Do If My Partner is Depressed (and How to Know If They’re Just Sad

What Anxiety Really Is and How to Deal with It

What to Do When Someone You Love is Struggling with Drugs and Alcohol

How to Deal with Your Control Issues

Ready to find out what goes on inside that crazy mind of Abby’s?

Why Am I Always Angry? Causes, Signs, and More I Psych Central

Anger is a natural human emotion, but when it feels constant and unrelenting, it may be a sign of something more such as stress or anxiety.

It’s OK to get angry. Life doesn’t always happen in the way you want or need, and anger is a natural response to feeling wronged.

In fact, anger is considered one of the basic forms of emotion, critical to survival. Anger can kick off your biological threat responses, activating everything from your cardiovascular system to your neurological system.

But anger that is constant, excessive, or uncontrollable may go beyond levels that are beneficial and instead hinder you in day-to-day functioning.

There are many reasons you might experience anger in the moment, but anger all the time might have underlying causes.

On-going oppression and ancestral trauma

Tavi Hawn, a licensed clinical social worker from Baltimore, Maryland, explains that constant anger can be a result of socioeconomic factors, particularly for marginalized groups.

“Members of groups that have historically been subjected to oppression often experience higher levels of daily stress related to systemic factors, such as poverty, health conditions, discrimination, and even hate crimes,” they note. “All these daily experiences combined can lead to feeling very angry as a response.”

Grief

Hawn also indicates that active, compounded, or unresolved grief can contribute to ongoing feelings of anger.

“Our society today, with a need to be working constantly to make a living, doesn’t allow space and time for many people to grieve,” they say. “Having to keep on moving without a break to process a loss, without others around you acknowledging the loss, can create unresolved grief which can cause constant feelings of anger.”

Expectations

While there may be many underlying causes that contribute to anger, Dr. Juli Kramer, a counseling psychologist specializing in Chinese medicine, indicates that persistent anger can often be traced back to expectations.

“Holding expectations is a dominant source of anger from my counseling experience,” she says. “Sometimes the expectations are realistic, but most often not. People feel a constant ‘let down’ when those expectations aren’t met. ”

Stress

Joni Ogle, a licensed clinical social worker from Los Angeles, lists several everyday reasons that can make you feel constantly angry when they happen over long periods of time.

These chronic stressors can include:

feeling not in control or helpless
being made to feel inferior
not being listened to
being disrespected
feeling threatened

“But if you find yourself angry almost always, it might be worth considering whether there are other underlying issues at play,” she says.

Anger can be passive, assertive, or aggressive. It’s not always violent, and it doesn’t have to result in harm.

Everyone experiences and expresses anger in their own way. Common signs that you may be feeling anger include:

elevated body temperature
sweating
rapid heartbeat
muscle tension
headache
flushed skin
clenched jaw
chest constriction
pacing
yelling
arguing
sarcasm
cursing
physical expression (e. g., throwing or breaking objects, physical violence)

Signs of anger may be accompanied by emotions such as:

humiliation
disrespect
insecurity
rejection
jealousy
abandonment
fear

You may also notice your thoughts move toward revenge, seeking justice, or wanting atonement.

Unrelenting anger can sometimes be a sign of a mental health condition.

While challenges with emotional regulation can be a symptom of several conditions, Ogle indicates that anger can often relate to:

anxiety disorders
depression
bipolar disorder
personality disorders
substance use disorders

Conduct disorders, such as intermittent explosive disorder (IED) and oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), may also feature traits of anger and aggression.

“If you’re living with chronic anger, it’s important to talk with a mental health professional who can help you determine whether or not you have a mental health condition that might be contributing to your anger,” she says.

While it’s natural to experience anger, uncontrolled anger can have a negative impact on your life.

“People can start to avoid us because we’re not pleasant to be around or because our anger can be stressful to others,” Hawn states. “It can make it harder to compromise on things, which is key in relationships. Explosive anger can be scary to those around us and even be tied to abusive behaviors. It can end relationships altogether.”

In addition to social ramifications, uncontrolled anger can affect your physical and mental well-being. According to research from 2010, it may contribute to health challenges such as cardiovascular complications, diabetes, and eating disorders.

Understanding “why am I so angry?” is just one piece of the puzzle. In addition to finding where that emotion comes from, relief may require coping strategies.

Discovering the real emotion

Hawn recommends reflecting back when you realize you’re stuck in angry feelings.

They suggest, “Ask yourself: Is there another emotion that happened right before the anger? If so, what led to that emotion? How can I feel and honor that emotion? If not, what message is my anger giving me? Maybe a boundary was crossed, maybe I saw someone being mistreated or hurt and know it was unjust, etc. ”

Stepping away

If you’re always feeling angry during certain events or around certain people, it’s OK to step away.

Kramer suggests that removing yourself from the situation may be required when you’re angry. “Literally, they [should] excuse themselves and walk away,” Kramer says. “Easy to say, hard to do. Having an ally, someone with whom they have a code word or cues to help them know when to leave is helpful.”

Once you’ve stepped away, Kramer suggests box breathing:

inhale for 4 to 7 counts
hold your breath for 4 to 7 counts
exhale for 4 to 7 counts
repeat until the anger is diminished

Practicing relaxation techniques

“There are several relaxation techniques that can help you calm down when you’re feeling angry,” says Ogle. “Try things such as yoga, meditation, or deep breathing exercises. This is a good start to learning how to control your anger overall.”

Lifestyle changes and outlets

Ogle indicates that some lifestyle changes can help you manage anger.

“Eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly can all help to improve your mood and reduce stress levels,” she says.

Exercise, art, recreational hobbies, and sports can also be used as outlets when you find yourself wondering, “why am I so angry?”

Support

Sometimes anger requires the support and insight of a mental health professional.

Working with a therapist can help you uncover underlying causes of anger and can help you explore coping strategies that work for you.

You may also benefit from joining support groups, online or in person, where anger management strategies can be discussed in an empathetic setting.

Yes. Venting can be OK.

“It’s important to have an outlet for your anger, whether that means talking with a friend or writing in a journal,” says Ogle. “Venting allows you to express your anger in a safe and controlled way, without hurting yourself or someone else.”

But venting can be unhelpful if it’s used to lash out at or harm others, makes you feel angrier, or starts to happen as a regular method of expression.

Asking yourself, “why am I so angry” can be the first clue that your anger has stuck around longer than it should.

While there are many reasons for anger to become a constant in your life, socioeconomic factors, chronic stressors, and underlying mental health conditions may all play a role.

Long-term anger can negatively impact your mental and physical well-being, but coping strategies and support from a mental health professional can help.

"Why am I angry all the time?", Psychotherapy - Gestalt Club

annoyed. If this happens to you very often, delivers inconvenience if "under the hot hand" regularly fall into anything guilty relatives, loved ones, cats and dogs ... Perhaps it’s worth it at your leisure think about what is happening.

Different feelings are needed

The first thing is important to understand. Irritation, anger, Anger is a normal, healthy emotion, though not the best. pleasant.

One should be alert in two cases:

If a person claims not to experience them at all. Either this is not true and we are dealing with intentional or unintentional deception (often self-deception). Either such a person is in a deep depression (or it is about other violations mental health). Sometimes we do not show such feelings, because in society, they are not welcomed, but any of them survives us.
If a person is irritable, angry, openly unfriendly all the time, or most of the time - this is also not very good symptom. We can talk about the so-called dysphoria, it is painful low mood, which can also be a sign mental disorder. In this case, the "evil man" himself suffers. troll" and his relatives.

If we exclude these two extremes and take an ordinary person, most likely, impending irritation or anger mean that the psyche thus makes it clear: she (that is, you) something is missing. The simplest example: everyone knows how difficult solve important issues on an empty stomach. Any woman sitting on a diet, I experienced it myself. Even in folk tales the heroes say: “First, feed, drink, heat the bathhouse, and then Ask". Why is that? Because unsatisfied hunger and thirst cause irritation, which at the slightest provocation turns into anger directed at the one who is closer, who is the first at hand will hit. And exactly the same happens in case of dissatisfaction more than complex needs. It turns out, even unpleasant, negative Emotions are actually mechanisms that work for our benefit, because they warn of a lack, the absence of something to us necessary, help to draw attention to the need that we for some reason they didn't notice.

Where does irritation come from?

Everyone who knows a little about psychology knows about Maslow's pyramid of needs: there are basic needs - hunger, thirst, the need for security. And higher needs - in recognition, in achievements, in self-realization, in the presence of an environment corresponding to our interests.

This division is of interest to us, since irritation and anger can arise from dissatisfaction different needs. So, "passing" through Maslow's pyramid, you can determine at what level you are "hungry".

So let's see what could be the cause the appearance of irritation, anger, anger:

Unsatisfied bodily needs - hunger, thirst, lack of sleep, etc. This also includes dissatisfaction. sexual hunger.
Feeling of unfreedom, stiffness, tightness, compulsion. Is your body able to move as much how much does he need? Walk, run, stretch? Perhaps you have sedentary work and your body needs breaks to be able to warm up?
Pain is a signal that the body needs certain care. Ignoring this need the body to declare itself even louder.
Disgust. You don't like someone or something our environment. For example, a decrepit, shabby closet violates your personal sense of harmony, and from an employee sitting next to him constantly smells bad. Disgust can also apply to activities in general (for example, if your work is related to deception, coercion).
Someone is trying to violate your boundaries - in a word, action or attitude. Anger signals - "here it is forbidden!" or “you can’t do this with me!” - it protects from harm and discomfort that may inadvertently or deliberately cause surrounding.
Nonsense. You do something but you don't get no recognition from others, no pleasure in themselves. Perhaps it meaningless activity for you, and irritation signals, that you lack the experience of success, the joy of achievement, self-respect, understanding.
Outbursts of uncontrollable anger may be a symptom post-traumatic stress disorder, acute reaction to stress, anxiety disorder, and other conditions that require qualified assistance of a specialist (psychotherapist).

Who is bothered by your irritation?

This is another self-test question. On the clients often come to the consultation with the request “I am too irritable” or “how to subdue my anger”. After finding out details, it sometimes turns out that the client, for example, lives with a very picky, spiteful, critical relative. In such situation client's irritability normal, natural response to life in abnormal, uncomfortable, stressful conditions. Turns out it's good you need to work not in order to pacify your anger (and even more so do not suppress it even more - suppressing emotions without understanding them very bad for mental well-being). Need to work with so that:

accept your right to be angry,
learn to express it in such a way that push for change,
arrogate to oneself the right to strive for better conditions life,
learn to defend yourself in destructive relationships (stop criticism, distance, filter - what am I I believe what I do not believe, what I accept, what I do not accept, etc.)

When is it time to apply for a psychological Help:

You feel irritated constantly or very often,
Your irritation causes problems at work or in a relationship, it is difficult or almost impossible to control,
Your anger causes you to start use physical force,
You are like a "bomb in a barrel" - inside you are constantly boil, but from the outside it does not manifest itself at all, on the contrary, you very kind (or break down, but only on the closest people),
You are absolutely sure that you cannot be angry, you it's forbidden, and your only way to deal with anger is it is to suppress it (not to let it out).

Why am I angry for no reason / emotions

Being angry is a person. However, it is important to remember the wisdom of Aristotle's message: "Anyone can get angry, it's very simple, but to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, with the right purpose and in the right way, which, of course, is not so simple.

What happens when a person realizes that he is wasting most of his time in anger that has no objective, logical, and concrete cause? If you ask yourself Why am I angry for no reason? ", then we invite you to read this Psychology-Online article that will help you find the answer.

You may also be interested in: Why do I scream when I'm angry Index

You get angry for no reason because you expect
You are angry with yourself
Chronic stress can cause irritability
There are always reasons behind anger

You get angry for no reason because you expect

Sometimes there is a parallel reality on the human level. Reality is that which develops on the outer level, which is currently happening. And the other reality is what goes on in the mind of someone who, before the events happened, made an interpretation of how another person should behave based on your own criteria and expectations.

That is, a person usually gets angry without motives, as usual when he strives measure the responses and reactions of others from your own judgment of how you think it should be.

Both in personal relationships and in the very reality of life, when you draw expected conclusions about the near future, you run the risk of upsetting yourself in a large percentage of the time, simply because there are many elements that are beyond your ability to make decisions. When you get angry for no reason, you experience this discomfort because You do not agree that everything is as it should be and not as you would like what they were. This contradiction is the essence of habitual suffering.

That is, in such a situation, you forget that each person has his own point of view. However, when you regularly get angry for no logical reason, you give more weight and more meaning to your own vision. That is, you act as if you have the absolute truth, or as if others are indebted to you for not answering exactly to your criteria.

You are angry with yourself

Another reason why you get angry for no reason is that our way of behaving and our reactions to others are closely related to how we feel within with ourselves.

When we experience inner noise from anger at ourselves because of the fact that we do not forgive, or because we do not like the way it is, but we do nothing to change it, then this the inner feeling of frustration and frustration can be made visible on a visible level through occasional anger with others, anger that is rooted in that inner wound that creates vulnerability.

In this case these external reactions are a way of projecting in the wrong direction that inner anger which has another cause in the form of unhappiness. In the same way that joy causes many smiles in the soul, on the contrary, inner suffering causes personal disappointment, which can manifest itself through unconstructive anger..

In this other article we will answer your question about why you are always angry.

Chronic stress can cause irritability

Anger affects both the mental hygiene and the way of life of the victim, when a person lives in a rhythm of periodic stress , life in a hurry, pressure on the result and constant occupation.

chronic stress It affects the mood in a wonderful way. Even the most optimistic and cheerful people can become short-tempered when they live through such periods, because stress affects important life principles. For example, the quality of rest or the imbalance between work and leisure. Sometimes the manifestation of anger that arises without a cause is a symptom of the stress that suppresses a person.

In this other article, we will learn how to deal with stress by giving you tips and tricks that can be very helpful.

Learn more