Why do i feel depressed on my birthday

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Last Updated: 08/30/2022

Why You Cry On Your Birthday

I didn't always hate my birthday. As a kid, birthdays were met with giddy excitement, in anticipation of 'The Best Day Of The Year'. In true Leo moon fashion, I adored that all the attention was showered on me — I'd take some of Coles' finest cupcakes to school, everyone would sing to me and I'd come home to one of my mum's home-baked cakes that she'd chosen from the Women's Weekly cookbook (usually Dolly Varden cakes, IYKYK). Life was good. Until it wasn't.

As I got older, the blues began to set in. When my birthday approached, I found myself feeling uneasy and I perpetually nauseous. I couldn't leave the house without a pit in my stomach, and you could practically feel the anxiety living it up in the back of my throat. The idea of planning a birthday event was panic-attack-inducing. I skirted around any birthday conversations, hoping they would just go away. They didn't.

For me, and so many other people, birthdays are meant to be a time of celebration. They're practically a big love letter — a time when the people you love have an opportunity to really show up. Because if they don't make you a homemade cake for your birthday and text you at midnight, then how much do your friends really love you? Social media has intensified these unrealistic expectations — scroll through your Stories and you're met with grand declarations of love (usually in the form of photo montages), surprise flower deliveries, cute gifts, homemade cards and nights out with tables full of friends. Cool, that's great and all. But what if your birthdays never look like that?

By the time August 27 rolls around, my anxiety morphs into pure sadness. These days, the melancholy is almost as certain as my birthday. A standard birthday goes something like this:

I wake up, hoping to see text messages from all my friends. Then reality comes cruising through, gifting me with messages from only one or two people (but always my mum). That's okay, they're probably still sleeping. I wait for that special birthday 'buzz' to fill my body — as if when I go into a cafe, everyone would miraculously just know it was my birthday and buy me free brunch. Unsurprisingly, this never happens. As the day goes on, there's a cloud that follows me everywhere; a perpetual anti-climax. By mid-morning, I inevitably retreat back to my bedroom, cancel my evening plans ("Sorry, I'm sick"), close the blinds, wrap myself up inside my doona, and binge-watch whatever shitty show comes up on Netflix. I've always hoped that that the next birthday would be different. Special, even. But after a few years of unexplainable sadness, I've begun to just brace myself for the letdown.

I'll admit that sounds a little melodramatic, but it's a sentiment that even has its own name — the Birthday Blues. It turns out that I'm not the only one who prefers to stay inside and cry every birthday. There's a whole bunch of us! How good! But is birthday depression actually a real thing? And how can we combat its effects every time we blow out the candles? We spoke to psychologist Ash King to find out.

What Is Birthday Depression?

It's exactly what it says on the tin. Birthday depression, or birthday blues, refers to that feeling of sadness, anxiety, or apathy that surrounds your birthday. "People who have birthday depression often spend their birthdays with a low sense of energy and feel gloomy, with thoughts that often focus on their past," King tells Refinery29. It's a phenomenon that is extremely common (seriously, ask your friends), but despite this, there's still very little research surrounding it.

Why Do We Get Birthday Depression?

"A birthday is usually a date that's quite significant in people's lives," King says. "Its significance is also impacted by the person's age, gender, culture and the history of what birthdays have meant to them."

While there hasn't been much research into birthday depression specifically, anecdotally, the birthday blues are becoming a common feeling that people experience each year. Ella*, 30, tells us about her own birthday depression. "Social media really affects me. I see people making birthday posts claiming it's their 'birthday week'; people who are spoilt all week by their friends and family. I get depressed because I don't get that," she shares. "But when I do get spoilt, I feel like I don't deserve it. So I tend to not want to make my birthday a 'thing', even though deep inside, I think I do."

Beth, 31, has similar sentiments. "I feel behind on life's plans, or at least what is expected to be achieved by a certain age," she says. And she's not alone.

"People who get down on their birthday might be confronting fears of getting older and facing their own mortality," King says. "For others, it could prompt reflection on unrealised hopes, vanished expectations and past failures. People might feel like they’re not where they thought they would be or wanted to be at this stage of life. People might also feel overwhelmed by the pressure to feel happy and joyful on this day that is routinely dedicated to celebrations (at least in Western cultures). For some people, it might also activate traumatic memories — particularly if birthdays are a reminder of sad, overwhelming or tragic experiences."

How Can I Keep The Birthday Blues Away?

Whether it's your birthday (and hey, happy birthday, you good thing!) or you're mentally prepping yourself for the day, King shares a few clever strategies that you can employ to make the day a little less sucky. And who knows, you might even enjoy it.

1. Get Reflective

Get your journals out; it's time to get deep. "Consider what thoughts are feelings are showing up for you around this time of year," King says. "Why might this anniversary prompt challenging feelings?"

This could be anything from a fear of ageing, loneliness, past trauma, or even a friend flaking on your birthday plans. The important bit is to sit in these feelings and really interrogate why you're feeling the way you do, says King. Maybe you feel like you're behind in life with the approach of a milestone birthday. Maybe birthdays make it clear that your social network isn't as strong as you'd like it to be. Maybe it just brings out your fear of rejection. Whatever it is, really get into the weeds with why you feel the way you do.

2. Practice Self Compassion

Yes, I know you've been told this a thousand times already, but consider this to be another reminder. Be nice to yourself! Give yourself a bit of credit for how far you've come, where you're at now, and where you're going. If you don't have the energy to celebrate your accomplishments, at least treat yourself with kindness. Take yourself out for a nice lunch, have a bubble bath, or buy yourself something nice — go wherever your love language guides you.

King says it's important to "respond to these thoughts and feelings with kindness and compassion. After all, it’s human to feel sad and to experience disappointment and regret."

3. Lower Your Expectations

"It's tough to be harbouring these feelings on your birthday when others (and perhaps even yourself) feel like it's time to be happy and celebrate", King says. "Your emotions don’t follow some appropriate, socially sanctioned calendar. They manifest spontaneously and sometimes at less-than-ideal times. Don't put pressure on yourself to feel a certain kind of way just because it's your birthday. And if you know that you tend to feel low around your birthday, perhaps go even more gently with yourself."

4. Be Honest

As always, vulnerability is key to having a good time. "Tell the people around you how you might feel around your birthday," King says. "Let them know that you might need something more gentle and nurturing than a big birthday hoon, given that this day is something challenging for you."

Not only can this help you relieve stress and anxiety leading up to the big day, but you might also find that your friendships benefit from this kind of honesty. After a candid conversation with a friend of mine about my birthday anxiety, she now makes a clear and concerted effort to make me feel special — Every. Single. Birthday. Usually in cake form. It's fantastic, and something I might have not been gifted with if I hadn't had those conversations with her.

5. Give Yourself Permission To Feel Good

"Even though you might be used to experiencing some challenging emotions on your birthday, that’s not to say that you cannot do things that offer you the opportunity to feel good, relaxed, grateful or connected", King says. "Perhaps consider what you might curate for yourself to help make this happen. Maybe it's a low-key dinner with close friends, a walk in nature, a massage or a dance class."

But Beware — The Birthday Blues Can Be A Sign Of Something More Serious

Because there hasn't been a lot of research into birthday depression, there are also a lot of unknowns out there. It can be easy to shrug your sad day off as just a one-off, but the birthday blues can also be a symptom of something more sinister. "It's a good idea to understand if your symptoms are a manifestation of a larger depressive disorder," King says.

King speculates that it's more likely to impact those with a history of depressive disorders or those who have traumatic or difficult memories associated with their birthdays.

"Birthday Blues" isn't a formal diagnosis, so if it creeps in around your birthday and then disappears soon after, it's probably something that's just 'anniversary'-dependent, King says. But if it sticks around longer, it might be time to chat to a GP or psychologist as there might be something bigger bubbling beneath the surface.

If you or anyone you know is experiencing depression or anxiety, please contact MIND on 0300 123 3393

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Why celebrate a birthday, even if you don't feel like it?

Nika Voyutskaya

yearning, but celebrating birthdays

Author profile

Tinkoff Magazine turns seven this week. During these days, we accept congratulations, tell about ourselves and our achievements.

Psychologically, we are doing everything right. But not everyone acts like we do. Some do not consider a birthday to be something special, while others try to avoid the emotions that arise during this period and prefer to pretend that the holiday never happened. There are many such people: almost every fourth Russian does not like to celebrate his birthday. nine0003

In this article, we will tell you why it is important to have at least a modest holiday in honor of yourself. But first, let's look at why it's okay to be a little sad on your birthday anyway.

Why some people don't like birthdays

The expression birthday blues has taken root in the English language. But the state of sadness and depression that some experience on this holiday is familiar not only to English speakers. Sometimes negative emotions are so strong that they develop into depression and linger for weeks or even more. nine0003

At the same time, there is no single reason that turns a birthday into a sad holiday. Usually it's a combination of different reasons. Here are a few common ones.

Negative experience. If earlier a birthday did not bring pleasure, then it is logical to feel anxiety and sadness instead of a pleasant anticipation of the holiday. Sometimes emotions are nothing more than a brain habit.

Imagine that you are baking charlotte and inhaling its special apple flavor. Perhaps you will feel joy and peace, because this is how you felt in childhood, when your grandmother baked charlotte. And vice versa: if your grandmother scolded you while cooking, the smell is more likely to upset you. At the same time, you may not understand where the sadness came from. nine0003

Same story, happy birthday. Some children every year celebrate it joyfully and in the way they want: parents themselves rejoice at the holiday and allow friends to be invited, and the gifts turn out to be exactly what they wanted to receive. People with such memories want to have fun on their birthday.

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Other children grow up in families where it’s not customary to celebrate or the holiday turns out to be a torment: you have to entertain adults, play the role of the “ideal” child and portray joy. They take the habit of being bored, sad and angry on their birthday into adulthood. nine0003

Perfectionism. Birthday seems to be a turning point that divides life into "before" and "after" periods. Approaching the starting point starts the process of reflection on how the year went. If the time turned out to be difficult, with losses and grief, the results will be unhappy, and the mood too. And if the year was successful, then the mood will be more optimistic. But only if you are not a perfectionist.

A perfectionist expects perfection and continuous development from himself. For him, this date every year becomes a reminder of everything not done or not done well enough. If, with your birthday approaching, you can’t get rid of the thoughts that you still haven’t quit smoking and haven’t learned English, scold yourself for laziness and feel that you don’t deserve a holiday, this story is about you. nine0003

The pressure of age. Most people have an idea of what a person should be like at a certain age. For example, at the age of twenty, a person should study at a university, have fun and travel, at twenty-five, he should already have his own apartment and a stable income. By thirty-five - to have a family and children, and by sixty - to understand what is the meaning of life.

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Our expectations of life at different ages differ in details, but in general they are similar. The older we are, the more successful, wise and rich we should be. With each passing year, the pressure increases and the expectations grow. If life does not meet expectations, it seems that we are wasting time.

Fear of death. Song "Happy birthday to you!" is a kind of dirge because we are approaching death, notes writer Kathleen Rooney, author of the extremely gloomy poem Birthday. nine0003

It's hard to come to terms with age, because there is less and less time left to achieve important goals for you. On your birthday, ignoring thoughts of your vulnerability and the inevitability of the end is harder than usual. And age is not so important. Contrary to popular belief, young people are just as often afraid of death as the elderly.

Why you should not refuse the holiday

Every person has an inalienable right to be sad on his birthday. But you shouldn't give up on celebrating at all. Even if it is very modest, it can still be useful. Scientific evidence confirms that the holiday shapes our understanding of ourselves and our lives, helps us worry less and feel happier. nine0003

Yale professor and noted happiness researcher Laurie Santos calls birthdays "chapter breaks." In our minds, emotionally rich events separate one period from another. Remember the beginning of the pandemic, when you had to stay at home. Most likely, at that moment, the days seemed endless. And now, on the contrary, it seems that two years have flown by imperceptibly, as if many days have merged into one. This distortion of the perception of time occurs when we do not celebrate memorable events and plunge into routine. nine0003

How to celebrate your birthday: 7 fun ideas

“2020 is a unique leap year. 29 days in February, 300 days in March and 5 years in April.

” Source: Twitter

All this threatens not just with a sense of timelessness and boredom. Holidays help to rethink habits, sometimes even change them. Without them, it is more difficult for us to develop.

"The Fresh Start Effect: Temporal Guidelines Drive Desired Behavior", articlePDF, 334 KB

Every significant date—birthday, New Year, wedding anniversary—is a new starting point. If you erase it, then there will be little motivation to change something in life. Just imagine that all deadlines have been canceled at work, and any task that previously had to be rushed can now be done for as long as you like. It is unlikely that many employees will remain productive. nine0003

Here's a real-life example: The US National Science Foundation once canceled deadlines for scientists applying for grants for Earth science research. As a result, the number of applications decreased by 59%, most researchers did not force themselves to prepare documents. With personal goals and plans for life, everything is exactly the same.

Another side effect of giving up the holiday is a distortion of the idea of oneself, of one's personality. It is made up of many stories about our lives that each of us tells to ourselves and others. Something important happens, saturated with emotions - we turn it into a story. And it intertwines with the old ones, together they form a narrative that allows us to understand what kind of person we are and what we want. A birthday is a ritual that makes this narrative coherent and whole. Ignoring him is like tearing pages out of your biography. nine0003

The ritual nature of the birthday also makes it the perfect cure for anxiety. Rituals are predictable: they take place at a predetermined time and repeat the same scenario. For example, the New Year is celebrated once a year and usually involves a family feast with Olivier, watching the president's speech and making a wish to the sound of chimes.

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Celebrating a birthday is also subject to traditions. For example, it is not customary to congratulate a birthday man ahead of time, but on his birthday it is customary to wish him something good and say a toast in his honor. This predictability helps us maintain a sense of control over our lives and cope with everyday stress. nine0003

And probably the main argument "for" celebrating a birthday: such rituals strengthen social ties, and close relationships are the main component of happiness. First, it is an occasion to meet and talk. Secondly, this is a special form of interaction that contains well-known symbols and collective behavior: a cake with candles, singing “Happy Birthday to you”, giving gifts. Due to this, the holiday gives a sense of community and belonging. Refusing it, we sacrifice them too.

How to have a fun and useful birthday

Of course, all of the above does not mean that everyone should throw a big party on the upcoming anniversary. For many, it will still bring too much stress and too little pleasure. Another thing is to slightly change your attitude to the holiday. Here are a few tricks for this.

Think about the deep meaning of the holiday. For a long time, birthday was a celebration of exceptional people. For example, it was celebrated by the Egyptian pharaohs, because their birth was equated with the birth of a god, and rich citizens of the Roman Empire. Ordinary people often did not even know the day they were born. Instead, they celebrated the birth of rulers, heroes, gods, or a name day. nine0003

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Since about the 17th century, the tradition of celebrating name days has spread to Rus'. And although we still call a person who celebrates a birthday a birthday person, these holidays are different. Name day is the day of memory of the saint, and not the celebration of the birth of a particular person.

At the end of the 19th century, with industrialization, Western society changed its views on childhood. There were fewer children in families, and each child received more attention. Parents less and less often perceived the child as a resource: working hands that would be useful in the field, or an opportunity to improve their marital status through marriage. Children have become simply members of the family, often the most beloved. Every anniversary of the birth of a child has become a holiday. And then adults began to celebrate their birth. nine0003

The tradition of celebrating it was born from the recognition of the value of human life. The meaning of the holiday is in humanity and love, and not in summing up. And by celebrating your birthday, you recognize that you deserve to live and be loved. Think more about this and less about what you supposedly should have already achieved, but have not achieved.

Try to savor the pleasure. It is worth celebrating even events of a much smaller scale than a birthday. For example, a job well done or the coming of spring. Loyola University of Chicago social psychologist Fred Bryant explains that when we stop to enjoy small accomplishments and pleasurable things, we reduce the negative impact of everyday stress. nine0003

Fred Bryant is the author of the concept of savoring, "savoring pleasure", which prescribes immersion in feelings and sensations during pleasant events. This makes the events even more pleasant and allows them to be remembered well and later re-experienced. Studies show that this habit actually improves mood and even alleviates the symptoms of depression.

The main components of savoring pleasure are anticipation, conscious living of the moment and sharing it with others. In practice, this means that:

Birthday is not worth spending alone. If you don’t like noisy parties, arrange a chamber meeting with one or two close people.
A holiday is worth planning. The anticipation will bring even more joy than the event itself. It is not necessary to write down every minute, it may be enough to plan some pleasant trifle. For example, going for a massage.
During the most pleasant moments, one should not be distracted by thoughts about the past and the future. It is better to focus on the sensations: the taste and smell of the cake, the warmth and pressure of friendly hugs, the sound of music, the beauty and comfort of the place where you are. The past and future are also worth thinking about, but later. nine0114

Do not drive away thoughts of death. Death is an integral part of life, and thinking about it enriches life, not robs it. This is how the famous psychologist Irvin Yalom writes about death in his book Existential Psychotherapy.

Yalom's idea can be explained as follows: death is the main deadline in a person's life. And when we drive thoughts about the end point of our existence from ourselves, we lose the opportunity to understand what we are ready to spend time on, which is not so much, which is really important for us. Ultimately, this leads to the feeling that life has been lived in vain, that it has no meaning. nine0003

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Baroque artists liked to paint skulls surrounded by fruits, flowers and luxurious objects. These still lifes were a reminder of the inevitability of death. Source: Jean Moust

The realization that death is real and close can, on the contrary, enrich a person's life. This is often told by people who have been on the verge of death.

For example, TED speaker Stacey Cramer has been helped by a brain tumor to understand what is truly important in life and to feel more inspired and happier. nine0003

Try to think specifically about your death on your birthday. The thought is painful, so set aside a small amount of time for it. For example, ten minutes. But during this time, stay focused.

You can visualize your funeral in detail - this exercise is advised by existential psychotherapists. Who will come to your funeral? What will these people say about you and your life? What kind of person will they remember you as?

If you are definitely not ready to imagine your funeral, imagine yourself in extreme old age in as much detail as possible. Where are you? How do you look? What are you doing? Who surrounds you? Reflections like these can make it clear what you want to spend the rest of your life doing. nine0003

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what is the birthday syndrome and how to cope with it

In recent years, ordinary people and psychologists have begun to talk more often about such a phenomenon as the birthday syndrome. If you feel sad on your birthday every year and don't enjoy the celebration, you most likely have birthday boy syndrome. The editors of Liter.kz figured out what the birthday syndrome is and how you can deal with it. nine0003

From a medical point of view, the birthday syndrome or the blues on the birthday, however paradoxical it may sound, is not a syndrome. This is rather an everyday expression to make it easier to characterize the state of a person before his birthday. The birthday boy syndrome is neither in the WHO International Classification of Diseases nor in the American diagnostic manual DSM-V. In addition, according to licensed clinical psychologist Lira de la Rosa, the DSM-5 diagnostic manual does not recognize birthday blues as a mental disorder. nine0003

The American Urban Dictionary defines birthday blues as "the general sadness or despondency of a person on or about their birthday." Psychologists insist that a person experiencing birthday longing should know that this is normal, and his family and friends should support him.

Causes of Birthday Syndrome

While birthday syndrome can have many causes, here is a list of the most common ones. nine0003

Aging. Birthdays can remind us that we are getting another year older. As Vanessa Van Edwards, lead researcher in Science of People, wrote, this is the "official" day we get a year older, even though the day before our birthday we feel pretty much the same.

Unfortunately, aging is not exactly something to look forward to. A birthday is just another reminder that we're not getting any younger,” Edwards explained. nine0003

Great expectations. Sometimes we get disappointed because a birthday party, celebration, or gifts didn't live up to our expectations.

No achievements. Feeling dissatisfied with one's accomplishments is a common cause of birthday blues.

Social pressure. Pop culture - movies, TV shows, music - often conveys the idea that a birthday is good and fun. Naturally, a person who experiences the opposite feelings begins to think that something is wrong with him. Not in the best way, his well-being is also affected by the fact that his experiences are not taken seriously - remember how in the super popular sitcom "Friends" Rachel and Joe's unwillingness to grow up was ridiculed. nine0003

Less excitement. When we are children, birthdays are special (not always and not for everyone, but mostly). Parents arrange parties, go to the cinema, and the happy birthday boy and his guests eat the cake. With age, a person begins to relate to this day differently, but remembers the emotions experienced in childhood, and this discrepancy between the past and the present can also be the cause of the birthday syndrome.

"Important" anniversaries and numbers. Not everyone likes to celebrate anniversaries, but this is "accepted", so people agree to celebrate a date that would be better celebrated in a narrow circle or completely ignored. nine0003

Less love. In childhood, parents, grandparents, and so on surround us with love and care. But with age, firstly, we become independent and independent, and as teenagers we feel irritation and even shame for the older members of our family. Secondly, no matter how painful it is, grandparents and parents eventually leave us forever. We are left alone with ourselves - someone will be lucky to be filled and without outside support, and someone will create a strong family and will not be alone. nine0003

For some, this (Birthday Syndrome - Ed. ) may be due to previous negative birthday experiences. Others may reflect on their lives and feel that they are not where they wanted to be at that particular age. For others, birthdays may come at a time when they are going through something difficult, said Lira de la Rosa.

He added that if someone has experienced any trauma in their life, they may take their birthday as a trigger, depending on the context and duration of when they experienced the trauma. nine0003

Who is affected by birthday syndrome

Birthday blues can affect anyone, regardless of age. However, there are certain groups of people who are more prone to birthday syndrome than others:

people who have few friends or family members. They may experience birthday blues because they simply have no one to spend their birthday with, and they feel that birthdays should be celebrated with loved ones;
introverted people. They may feel most comfortable spending time alone, but feel they should socialize with others during their birthday;
people with high expectations. Thanks to our unique experience and what TV and cinema broadcasts, a long list of birthday expectations is formed. If these expectations are not met, it can lead to blues. nine0114

How to deal with the birthday blues

To ease the birthday blues and better understand where it comes from, it may be helpful to try any of the strategies below.

1. Let your emotions come out.

We tend to associate birthdays with celebrations and positive experiences, and this may not be the case for everyone. So, if you are not feeling excited or happy during this time, allow yourself to sit with sadness,” Dr. Lira de la Rosa explained. nine0003

By allowing yourself to feel your emotions without judgment, you can become aware of the deeper meaning behind them and perhaps alleviate some of the sadness you feel.

2. Practice mindfulness and self-compassion.

It is important to be aware of your experience and be kind to yourself during this process. Lira de la Rosa recommends going inward to take inventory of your feelings, thoughts, and where you hold tension in your body to better understand what you may be going through. nine0003

If we increase our awareness of our feelings, we can deal with those feelings with compassion. We can calm ourselves and remind ourselves that we are human and that when we experience a range of emotions, this is normal, the psychologist emphasized.

Engage in self-reflection.

Psychologist Ash King advises taking a separate time before your birthday to analyze your feelings and understand why they appear and how they affect you. nine0003

It's important to dive into those feelings and really question why you feel what you're doing. Maybe you feel that you are behind the times due to the approach of a significant birthday. Perhaps birthdays make it clear that your social network is not as strong as you would like. Maybe it just brings out your fear of rejection. Whatever it is, really understand why you feel what you do, the psychologist advised. nine0003

Share your experience with someone you trust.

Express your feelings to a friend or family member. Maybe someone you know went through the same thing on their birthday and that might be a confirmation of what you're experiencing. Either way, being open to someone who is willing to listen and help can be a relief.

Lower your expectations.

Don't idealize a birthday and don't make it a holiday of the year. Yes, you can plan a dinner at a restaurant or at home, invite friends and wait for gifts and kind words, but no more. Treat your birthday like any other, most ordinary day, just at the end you will meet those you love (or maybe take time exclusively for yourself). nine0003

Don't put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way just because today is your birthday. And if you know that you tend to feel down on your birthday, maybe treat yourself even softer, Ash King advised.

Celebrate your birthday the way you want.

Some people may feel guilty about feeling this way. After all, relatives or friends want to celebrate and are planning a celebration, while a birthday person may simply want to avoid such celebrations,” said Lira de la Rosa. nine0003

He encourages people who feel this way to voice their feelings, wants and needs about their birthday and not do anything that makes them feel worse or guilty.

Talk to a therapist or psychologist.

If you want to find the root cause of your birthday sadness, practice deeper self-reflection with the help of a therapist.

If a person feels ready to delve into these underlying reasons why they may be depressed on their birthday, then I would recommend trying therapy. Others may want to explore their experiences of sadness during their birthdays, and it may also be helpful for them to talk to a therapist as they explore these experiences, Lira de la Rosa emphasized. nine0003

Exercises to Prevent Birthday Syndrome

Researcher Vanessa Van Edwards shared four exercises that help her experience birthdays more easily. Rather, these are four questions that Edwards asks himself to "expand his understanding of himself."

What was the best thing that happened last year?

Agree, a lot of things happen in one year of our lives. But what would you single out for yourself? To do this, write in your notebook: "The best thing that happened last year was _____." nine0003

What did you learn last year?

Every year brings both ups and downs, but Edwards says we need to rethink these negatives as challenges.

After making a mental list, write down the lessons you learned from these trials. And if you're still having a problem, write down what you can do to make it better, the researcher insists.

Write it like this: "Last year I had a problem _____ and learned _____." nine0003

What are your hopes for this year?

Imagine that you are sitting at your birthday party next year - think about what you would like to celebrate? It can be a career breakthrough, control of negative emotions, a long journey - anything.

Learn more