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Why do bullies bully psychology


Facts About Bullying | StopBullying.gov

This section pulls together fundamental information about bullying, including:

  • Definition
  • Research on Bullying
  • Bullying Statistics
  • Bullying and Suicide
  • Anti-Bullying Laws

Definition of Bullying

In 2014, the Centers for Disease Control and Department of Education released the first federal definition of bullying. The definition includes three core elements:

  • unwanted aggressive behavior
  • observed or perceived power imbalance
  • repetition or high likelihood of repetition of bullying behaviors

This definition helps determine whether an incident is bullying or another type of aggressive behavior or both.

Research on Bullying

Bullying prevention is a growing research field that investigates the complexities and consequences of bullying. Important areas for more research include:

  • Prevalence of bullying in schools
  • Prevalence of cyberbullying in online spaces
  • How bullying affects people
  • Risk factors for people who are bullied, people who bully others, or both
  • How to prevent bullying
  • How media and media coverage affects bullying

What We’ve Learned about Bullying

  • Bullying affects all youth, including those who are bullied, those who bully others, and those who witness bullying. The effects of bullying may continue into adulthood.
  • There is not a single profile of a young person involved in bullying. Youth who bully can be either well connected socially or marginalized, and may be bullied by others as well. Similarly, those who are bullied sometimes bully others.
  • Solutions to bullying are not simple. Bullying prevention approaches that show the most promise confront the problem from many angles. They involve the entire school community—students, families, administrators, teachers, and staff such as bus drivers, nurses, cafeteria and front office staff—in creating a culture of respect. Zero tolerance and expulsion are not effective approaches.
  • Bystanders, or those who see bullying, can make a huge difference when they intervene on behalf of someone being bullied.
  • Studies also have shown that adults can help prevent bullying by talking to children about bullying, encouraging them to do what they love, modeling kindness and respect, and seeking help.

Bullying Statistics

Here are federal statistics about bullying in the United States. Data sources include the Indicators of School Crime and Safety: 2019 (National Center for Education Statistics and Bureau of Justice) and the 2017 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention).

How Common Is Bullying

  • About 20% of students ages 12-18 experienced bullying nationwide.
  • Students ages 12–18 who reported being bullied said they thought those who bullied them:
    • Had the ability to influence other students’ perception of them (56%).
    • Had more social influence (50%).
    • Were physically stronger or larger (40%).
    • Had more money (31%).

Bullying in Schools

  • Nationwide, 19% of students in grades 9–12 report being bullied on school property in the 12 months prior to the survey.
  • The following percentages of students ages 12-18 had experienced bullying in various places at school:
    • Hallway or stairwell (43. 4%)
    • Classroom (42.1%)
    • Cafeteria (26.8%)
    • Outside on school grounds (21.9%)
    • Online or text (15.3%)
    • Bathroom or locker room (12.1%)
    • Somewhere else in the school building (2.1%)
  • Approximately 46% of students ages 12-18 who were bullied during the school year notified an adult at school about the bullying.

Cyberbullying

  • Among students ages 12-18 who reported being bullied at school during the school year, 15 % were bullied online or by text.
  • An estimated 14.9% of high school students were electronically bullied in the 12 months prior to the survey.

Types of Bullying

  • Students ages 12-18  experienced  various types of bullying, including:
    • Being the subject of rumors or lies (13. 4%)
    • Being made fun of, called names, or insulted (13.0%)
    • Pushed, shoved, tripped, or spit on (5.3%)
    • Leaving out/exclusion (5.2%)
    • Threatened with harm (3.9%)
    • Others tried to make them do things they did not want to do (1.9%)
    • Property was destroyed on purpose (1.4%)

State and Local Statistics

Follow these links for state and local figures on the following topics:

  • Bullied on School Property, Grades 9-12
  • Cyberbullied, Grades 9-12

International Statistics

According to the UNESCO Institute of Statistics:

  • One third of the globe’s youth is bullied; this ranges from as low as 7% in Tajikistan to 74% in Samoa.
  • Low socioeconomic status is a main factor in youth bullying within wealthy countries.
  • Immigrant-born youth in wealthy countries are more likely to be bullied than locally-born youth.

Bullying and Suicide

The relationship between bullying and suicide is complex. The media should avoid oversimplifying these issues and insinuating or directly stating that bullying can cause suicide. The facts tell a different story. It is not accurate and potentially dangerous to present bullying as the “cause” or “reason” for a suicide, or to suggest that suicide is a natural response to bullying.

  • Research indicates that persistent bullying can lead to or worsen feelings of isolation, rejection, exclusion, and despair, as well as depression and anxiety, which can contribute to suicidal behavior.
  • The vast majority of young people who are bullied do not become suicidal.
  • Most young people who die by suicide have multiple risk factors.
  • For more information on the relationship between bullying and suicide, read “The Relationship Between Bullying and Suicide: What We Know and What it Means for Schools” from the CDC.

Anti-Bullying Laws

All states have anti-bullying legislation. When bullying is also harassment and happens in the school context, schools have a legal obligation to respond to it according to federal laws.

10 Things to Know About the Psychology of Bullying

Bullying is an act done to make a person feel a certain way. The act is meant to harm, intimidate or coerce someone. Bullying is a negative act that often becomes a pattern. It can be done verbally, physically or online. When we intentionally harm and/or humiliate others, we are bullying. However, someone doesn’t become a bully out of nowhere. People are not born bullies, they become them. And they typically become bullies at a rather long age. This continued pattern may only become worse and more intense as the years go on. But how is this personality trait created? What turns a toddler into a bully? What is the psychological link between humans and bullying? Here are 10 things to know about the psychology of bullying…  

Humans are not born bullies.

  A child does not enter the world a bully. It’s not a part of their genetic makeup. They are not deemed a bully when the gender is revealed. In actuality, a child is unbelievably receptive to the world around them. They feel a lot of things, they see a lot of things, they are told a lot of things…but most of the time they don’t know what to do with any of that. When all of these factors are rather negative, it’s easy for a child to become a bully. In terms of nature verse nurture…a child’s characteristics and actions are born through nurture.   

Parents play a massive role in bullying.

 Is it harsh to say that mean parents tend to raise mean kids? I mean…it’s true..with some minor exceptions. Non-restrictive and neglectful parents can promote these behaviors too. These parents also raise children that fall victim to mean children. As we touched on in the first point, children are born with zero knowledge about the world. They are born knowing nothing about how they’re intended to act, how they should treat other people, and how they should be treated. Children learn everything they know from their parents or guardians. Studies have shown that when a parent is authoritative (for their child’s wellbeing) while also being warm and understanding, they are far less likely to become a bully.   Overly authoritative parents can form a child into a bully for a few different reasons. One reason being that when a parent is harsh and aggressive with their child, they essentially model how to be a bully. This is how the child will now go and act in the world. On the other end of this, a child can become a victim to bullying because this is how they are used to being treated.  

Bullying is not normal aggression.

 Bullying is not the same as having fighting tendencies, having a temper, etc. Bullying is not run of the mill aggression. Bullying is targeted and repeated. Bullying is an act that is consistently repeated to cause harm. But what can make a child and then an adult want to make other people feel this way? To be a bully is a serious character trait…so why do these people act out in this way? There are specific vulnerabilities that can lead to someone being a bully. These may include a lack of personal awareness, low self esteem, and the need to feel in charge. These are formed at a young age and if not acknowledged…can lead to a lifetime of suffering – on both ends.   

Many kids in school experience bullying.

 When children are in school they are around kids of all different ages and from all different backgrounds. When these differences are meshed together, bullying is bound to happen. Psychologically speaking, when these experiences happen at such a young age, they can be quite significant. Children can be impressionable and may have a lot to learn about themselves. They may have a lot to learn about the different types of people around them. Depending on a child’s life outside of school, they may be a bully in school. They may also be a victim of bullying. This can have a long term effect for both sides.  

Bullying victims may experience suicidal thoughts. 

 Bullying is very serious. There is a strong connection between bullying and suicide. In  recent years, there has been a significant increase in suicide rates among young people. This may be due to that connection.  However, it’s important to know that bullying can be experienced at any age. Suicide, suicide attempts, and suicidal ideation or thoughts are all extremely serious matters. Whether the bullying is done in person or online, it is unfortunately common for a young person to experience these action or thoughts. We do not know that bullying causes suicidal behaviors but we do know that the connection is serious.  

Cellphones and computers may make bulling easier. 

In our modern age, we can be in constant contact with people. The world and all of the people in it are at our finger tips. For bullies, this is the perfect outlet for them. Bullies can constantly taunt their victims – regardless of their age, where they are, or what they are doing. For the victims, this can be very heavy. They never get an escape.  Along with being able to access their victims at any time, bullies can be as tough and aggressive as they want. People tend to act differently when they are behind a computer or cellphone screen. Words may feel less serious when they are not in person. Talking through cellphones and computers may create bullies that wouldn’t act the same in a face to face interaction.  

A bully doesn’t pick on just anyone.

 As we slightly mentioned before, a bully picks his or her victim. A bully doesn’t bully just anyone. A bully picks their victims wisely.  Unfortunately, it is common for a bully to pick a victim who is unpopular. This victim is far less likely to be defended by people around them, which allows the behavior patterns to continue. Bullies may also choose victims who excel and receive position affirmations. Bullies tend to have low self esteem – they may feel inferior to these people. The fact that bullies are so particular in this decision shows the clear link between bullying and psychology. 

The best way to handle a bully is avoidance. 

 Avoiding and ignoring may be the best way to handle a bully. If a bully is not successfully getting through to their victim, it’s likely that they will stop being so persistent. Avoiding and ignoring a bully makes it so that the bully does not win.  When it comes to children who are the victims of bullying, having companions around is another way to help. A bully will be intimidated if the children is surrounded by good friends. Another way to handle a bully for children is through parenting tactics. If a parent raises a strong and confident child, this will help them stand up for themselves. A bully will have a hard time making someone a victim if a child knows how they should and shouldn’t be treated.  

Someone may not have to be a bully forever.

 As we talked about earlier, a person develops bullying tendencies at a young age. This may be because of aggressive parents or a lack of positive social interaction. It may also be because of deep rooted trauma. However, just because these tendencies have existed for quite a while, does not mean that they cannot be changed. A bully may be rehabilitated.  One of the ways to do this may be to show the child or adult that is okay to start over. It is okay to start with a fresh slate and leave old behaviors in the past. Another option is to understand that it is okay to trust others. This may soften behaviors and make someone less aggressive. Another option is to lead by example. If a child or now adult has taken to bullying as a way to deal with their feelings, it may be good to show them a healthier way to do that. Showing bullies a healthy way to act can be a very effective way to rehabilitate.  

There are outlets for children who are victims.

 If a child is becoming a bully at a young age, that means that their victims are likely being affected at a young age. This is a harsh thing to experience at any age, but especially when a child is young and in school. Bullying makes children feel isolated and shameful. For kids that are being bullied or have been bullied in the past, they should always contact a person of higher power. This could be a parent, a guidance counselor, or a therapist, among others. This can be a healthy and safe outlet. Talking about their experiences could help them avoid them in the future and/or heal.    

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“Everyone is to blame”: what is bullying and how to find out that your child is being bullied at school - September 25, 2018

Many parents do not know about the real life of their children at school and beyond

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School bullying has always been - for some, this is a way to assert themselves, someone wants to take a leading position at the expense of a weaker one, and someone just likes to humiliate the victim.

At any time there were people who, for various reasons, were rejected by the collective. Many of us in the class had such a person who was laughed at and made fun of, who was offended and beaten. This behavior is called bullying (from the English bully - bully). This is psychological terror, beating, persecution of one person by another for a long time.

Today, its scale is becoming more and more visible, and thanks to the fact that schoolchildren have phones with cameras and access to the Internet, it is more obvious. Often, hooligans film their bullying and post it on social networks. In elementary school, there are cases of racketeering - high school students take away money and things from younger children. Hooligans are armed with both humiliating jokes and blackmail. Most often, victims of bullying are silent, less often they go to their parents for help, who advise them to either ignore or fight back.

German language teacher Natalya Grigoryeva, pedagogical psychologist Nadezhda Zhinareva, director of school No. 34 Marina Eraskina and teacher of Russian language and literature Yulia Shikeldeeva

schools and found out how to behave as a victim of bullying and what parents should do in such a situation.

For bullying children, going to school and being alone with peers becomes a phobia

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According to teachers, anything can serve as a reason for bullying - appearance, physique, speech defects or manner of dressing. But bullying will continue only if it is interesting to harass the victim from time to time. If the victim of bullying has a violent reaction to the undershirts, but at the same time, as such, she does not give a rebuff.

It can be crying, shouting, cursing. Any overly emotional reaction. And that's exactly what bullies want. They find a weak side and put pressure on it. As soon as there is no habitual reaction, they become uninteresting.

According to school psychologist Nadezhda Zhinareva, recently bullying has also appeared in primary school. Previously, such behavior was observed in children in the fifth - seventh grade, during the transitional age.

- This age group is the most critical. Contacts and communication groups change. Children try to win their place in the team, authority. Some try to do this through studies and sports, but there are those who are approved at the expense of others, she explains.

Bullying stops, as a rule, in the ninth or tenth grade, when relations in the team have already developed, there is no need to prove anything to anyone, and the roles are divided. But in some cases they are also found among graduates.

For some, the school corridor is a place for fun and games during recess, for others it is a place where it is better not to go out again

to show it to everyone. The problem has intensified with the cult of social media and the internet. Any situation that happened in the classroom is available to everyone, and what was previously known only to the participants in the conflict becomes public property.

- Cyberbullying is now popular largely due to the fact that the aggressor remains anonymous, and information about bullying spreads at lightning speed among a large number of people. Sometimes a situation that could be resolved here and now takes on a mass character, says the school psychologist.

According to Nadezhda Zhinareva, cyberbullying has two sides. On the one hand, videos and photos become public and many people learn about what happened. What could previously remain in a closed group of schoolchildren is now scattered across the Web and is available to thousands of users. On the other hand, the information, as a rule, reaches teachers, parents and the police - it becomes possible to sort out the situation.

- Some posted videos of bullying on the Web, while others are tempted to repeat. The worst thing is that children are not afraid of cruelty. It jars us, the adult generation, and they have a desire to do the same. They look at the beatings as if they were a show,” the teacher shared.

Schoolchildren now spend most of their free time on the Internet. Parents even encourage this - the child is at home, and not in the porch with beer, the pages on social networks are well-known, and he behaves well there. Only now, many parents do not realize that there can be several accounts.

- Many children start a page for their parents, where everything is decent. And he has a few other pages. The child is there under a different name, and the photos are different, and the content. Also groups in social networks. It can be called completely harmless, but in fact there can be terrifying content inside, - says the psychologist.

Do not forget about the favorite entertainment for many - trolling. This is a provocation or mockery in network communication, when the victim is deliberately brought to negative emotions and enjoy it. For many schoolchildren, this has become something of a hobby; pages on social networks are specially created for this, so that it is safe to mock the victim.

Teachers try to keep track of their students' pages, to see what groups the children are in and what posts they are interested in.

— Recently, our children were seen in the group "Dregs of Omsk". There the main theme is photos with alcohol, drugs and the like. It turned out that there were our fifth graders in the group. They just liked the posts. We tracked them down and had conversations. We used to have 20 such conversations a day,” explained Nadezhda Zhinareva.

Parents most often do not know how their children behave and that they have several pages on the VKontakte social network. Often a positive-looking child from a good family is the instigator. For parents, this is a revelation and a shock. They often argue, reject it, and only then want to figure it out. No one wants to believe that he made a mistake somewhere in his upbringing.

It often happens that bullying is carried out by a child who was previously characterized very positively

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Teachers say that children copy the behavior of adults. Now celebrities from the Internet have become examples for them. Schoolchildren compete in the number of likes and subscribers. And the one who does not have them becomes an outcast and an object of ridicule. The decisive factor for success is popularity in social networks. And without much effort.

- Everyone is photographed for Instagram. They also choose such poses and gestures that are far from childish. We used to try to look decent in the photo, now it’s the other way around: the worse, the better. Everyone wants to become bloggers, everyone has channels on Youtube,” the psychologist said.

Teachers have noticed that many parents, when preparing children for school, teach them how to defend themselves and present education almost like an army. They tell the children that at school they will certainly want to offend them, and any offense must be hit back.

- Dads say: "Kick in the face." The child, at any push, rushes into a fight. You need to understand that school is not a place where children are beaten. Dad himself lies on the couch, the child comes to him and asks for help in the problem, and he simply demands from his son that he beat everyone. As a rule, such fathers themselves were victims of bullying, the teachers shared.

The teachers agreed that subcultures as such no longer exist. There are representatives of the so-called near-football players - football fans, but this is more a manifestation of fashion than ideas. According to teachers, children pay a lot of attention to fashion.

“Now boys don’t show off their masculinity, but sneakers and pants,” Nadezhda Zhinareva says sadly.

In her opinion, perhaps the lack of male education is to blame for this. Mom and grandmother often do not explain how a boy needs to behave among peers, but it also happens that they raise a child in different ways. But the presence of a father in the family does not always guarantee that the child will receive a male upbringing. Many fathers come home and surf the same social networks, and play "Tanks" with their child.

The school toilet is one of the most popular places for bullying

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Bullying comes in many forms. There are verbal, physical, social forms of bullying, as well as cyberbullying which has already been mentioned.

Most often, the victim is bullied verbally, with words or intimidation, insults, threats and comments about appearance, religion, physical disabilities. The well-being of parents, as a rule, is not a subject of ridicule, but if you sent your child to a school or lyceum where there are students from families with different wealth, this can also be a reason for ridicule and humiliation.

- There was a case where high school students took a photo of a junior high school student in the toilet and began to blackmail him that the photo would show. These students themselves were not in a high position among the rest and so wanted to assert themselves, including in front of the girls. But the teachers reacted in time and solved the problem. The main thing is not to delay the time, says the psychologist.

Children need to be taught respect and self-respect. Explain that everyone deserves to be treated well—teachers, friends, staff. It is necessary to develop children's self-esteem and strengthen their self-esteem. It is worth thinking about the phrases and demeanor that the child will use when communicating with the offender.


According to the school psychologist, physical abuse is an advanced case. It consists of repeated blows, kicks, trips, pushes. According to Nadezhda Zhinareva, fights happen, but more often they are just boyish fights, after which they continue to be friends.

If you suspect that your child is being beaten, then talk to him, find out how things are at school, what he did during lunch or during recess, on the way home. Ask your child if anyone has been abusive, hit or threatened. Hold back your emotions. Explain to him that you and the school psychologist should always be told about such cases.

Social bullying involves someone being intentionally excluded from participating in group activities, whether it be eating at a shared table, playing games, playing sports, or sharing homework.

Developing your child's talents and interests in music, art, sports, reading and attending city events so your children can build relationships with peers outside of class and school.

Among girls, gossip and rumors are more common than violence, although now physical bullying among the weaker sex is also not uncommon.

- There is no division into ethnic groups, but elementary school students can insult or call each other names based on nationality. But here it’s rather simple - what I see about that I sing, - the teachers explain.

— We try to talk to both the victim and the abuser. Find out from him why he behaves this way, what is the reason for aggression. As a rule, there are no obvious reasons, and the situation is easily corrected. Find out how the child who is being bullied reacts. The aggressor is waiting for a certain reaction. If he does not receive it, he becomes uninterested. We rehearse, say what to say or not to say, work out the situations, - shared the headmaster.

According to the psychologist, you need to solve the problem, not run away from it. Transferring to another school or class will not help. Now everyone has social networks and all information is distributed among schoolchildren very easily.

— If such situations have occurred, then it is difficult to say who is to blame. Everyone is to blame, it doesn't matter. The problem needs to be solved,” the psychologist concluded, adding that an unresolved problem with bullying at school age can affect the rest of a person’s life.

School bullying

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The newfangled word "bullying" means hooliganism, harassment and intimidation against an individual or group in order to dominate and humiliate the victims. According to a report by the Higher School of Economics (HSE), every fourth student in Russia (27.5%) is a victim of bullying. Cyberbullying is experienced by 16% to 27% of schoolchildren. School bullying has been in the public eye after a wave of armed attacks on educational institutions, and in 2016 more than 130 teenage suicides in Russia were committed due to online harassment. In total, every third student in the world at one time or another in his life becomes a victim of harassment and bullying at school. In the United States, about 4,000 children die each year due to cyberbullying, while 14% of all victims of persecution also consider suicide as a way out of an intolerable situation.

Why is this a major problem for families, schools and communities?

Bullying is a very serious problem with dire consequences for both the victims of bullying and the bullies themselves, and for the silent witnesses of emotional and physical abuse. Part of the bullying problem lies in the culture of indifference and inaction of the team, inherited from the old days, when ridicule, bullying, humiliation, harassment and physical abuse among children were not considered something dangerous. Adults, parents and teachers used to consider hooliganism almost natural for children, justifying themselves by saying that children “play like that” and boys “always fight”. Thankfully, child and teen bullying has finally made it into the media spotlight, and public outcry is forcing parents, teachers, bosses, and politicians to take action to combat child abuse.

Given the many tragic consequences for children and adults, it is important to refute this point of view once and for all and identify the threats of bullying both to the life and health of children themselves and to society as a whole. Bullying prevention and elimination is based on a culture of openness and willingness to intervene to stop this evil. But it can be difficult even for adults. Therefore, imagine how hard it is for children - not only victims, but also witnesses - passive observers. Adults: parents, teachers should carry out explanatory work with children, urging them not to remain tolerant of any manifestation of violence, which is possible only with the tacit consent of the environment of bullies and victims, providing support to children, not shrugging off their “little” problems.

Childhood bullying has both acute negative short-term effects and serious long-term effects. In all cases of violence, immediate psychological intervention and long-term follow-up are required to mitigate possible problems. It is essential that schools and families work together to identify cases of bullying, provide assistance to victims, and address the causes of bullying.

What is bullying and how does it manifest itself?

Although bullying, harassment and violence are mean and meaningless from the point of view of mentally healthy adults, but, unfortunately, this is a common part of the life of children. On the playground, one girl grabs another by the hair and pulls it. A boy destroys a little cake built by another in the sandbox. In the cafeteria, the older student pushes the younger one's food tray so that the younger one spills or drops the food. A class where everyone constantly teases someone for being fat, red-haired, unfashionably dressed, or bad at arithmetic. Although... and some adults never grew out of these habits of humiliating, pushing and insulting other people.

Although at first glance it may seem that it is quite simple to characterize hooligan behavior, in fact it does not always correspond to the classic stereotype of a strong boy beating up a weak classmate. Bullying and intimidation is a multifaceted behavior that varies depending on the situation, the people involved, time and place.

School bullying is defined as unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-age children that involves real or perceived dominance, psychological and physical abuse that is repeated or persistent.

According to this definition, bullying at school includes several factors:

  1. The child who is being bullied does not like the behavior and causes him physical or psychological harm. Some definitions state that for the behavior to qualify as bullying, the bully must intend to cause real harm to his victim. However, this is not always the case. Sometimes the victim of bullying feels insulted or humiliated by behavior that, from the perspective of the bully, should not have made the victim feel that way.
  2. The bully(s) and his/her victim(s) are clearly aware that the bully has more power in the bullying situation, even if all other factors are "equal". In reality, usually school bullies are stronger, bigger, older, have a support group, or act as a group, which leads to an imbalance of both real dominance and perceived dominance.
  3. The bully is either really violent, or his unrestricted access to the victim means that he can always resort to violence with impunity.
  4. While some bullying is physical and easily recognizable, bullying can also occur invisibly and covertly, through targeted gossip, through direct or indirect smartphone or online communication, resulting in psychological abuse and emotional harm.
  5. Hooliganism is repeated or carried out regularly or continuously.

The main aspect of bullying is that it has a real emotional and negative psychological or traumatic impact. Depending on the situation, this may:

  • Cause physical pain
  • Cause psychological distress
  • Intimidate
  • Humiliate
  • insult
  • Shame
  • confuse
  • Coerce unwanted actions
  • To cause restrictions in actions, self-expression and any other manifestation of individual freedom.

Most often physical bullying manifests itself in the form of beatings, blows, kicks, pushes, slaps, slaps, pinches, injections, restriction of movement and freedom, lifting into the air, strangulation, taking away money and valuables, damage to property, clothes.

Verbal bullying : Insults, teasing, name mocking, nicknames, comparisons.

Psychological and social bullying : threats, intimidation, bullying, bullying, isolation and rejection, rumors, gossip.

Cyberbullying: Internet and electronic harassment, publicly available defamatory publications.

School bullying sometimes crosses the line when the bullying and harassment is based on race, ethnicity, faith, disability, gender, and sexual orientation. In this case, the proceedings with issues of extremist bullying move from the psychological to the legal field.

Short-term and long-term psychological consequences of bullying

Bullying in school can have various short-term and long-term consequences not only for the victim, but also for the bully himself and for the watching environment. School bullying is a serious problem that has the nature of a pandemic. Up to 33% of students aged 12-18 are bullied at school, and 27% of students aged 12-18 are victims of cyberbullying. Victims are subjected to episodes of bullying at least once or twice a month. The peak intensity of bullying falls on the second level of secondary education (5-9Class). Up to a quarter of students are bullied at this age at least once a week.

Short-term effects of bullying on the victim

Children may exhibit different behaviors and reactions during and after bullying by peers. Bullying, especially non-physical bullying such as cyberbullying, can go on for a long time before victims seek help. At the same time, most often, the victim’s academic performance suddenly begins to decline for no apparent reason. In addition to worsening academic performance, victims of bullying typically experience the following effects and symptoms:

  • Social isolation
  • Feelings of shame and guilt
  • Sleep disorder
  • Changes in eating habits
  • Low self-esteem
  • School avoidance
  • Anxiety symptoms
  • Bedwetting
  • Decreased overall body resistance
  • Psychosomatic symptoms (abdominal pain, headaches, muscle pain, other physical complaints with no known medical cause)
  • Symptoms of depression
  • Suicidal thoughts and actions.
Short term consequences of bullying for the bully

Although it can be difficult to empathize with the bully, it is important that parents and teachers understand and acknowledge that bullies engage in bullying in school for specific reasons. Often bullies act the way they were taught at home by abusive parents, siblings, relatives, or guardians. Often these children were themselves victims of domestic violence. Without the intervention of adults and the provision of professional psychological or psychiatric assistance, the bully's deviant behavior will continue, and worsen over time, taking on more and more dangerous forms.

Consequences of bullying for the bully himself may include:

  • Poor school performance
  • Increased risk of absenteeism
  • Difficulty maintaining social relationships
  • Increased risk of substance abuse
  • Increased risk of injury
  • Increased risk of getting into trouble with the law.

Bullies often have problems with their peers. Since they are most often cruel, manipulate and use others, lack sympathy (empathy), are generally unpleasant to communicate with, they may not have many friends, except in cases of a “club of interests” in the form of gangs or companies of the same hooligans, or creating a subordinate circle of victims whom the bully controls psychologically.

It may not always be obvious how much bullying behavior contributes to their emotional and psychological problems, or how much bullying is a manifestation of psychological disorders and mental disorders. However, it is known that bullies are at greater risk of alcohol and drug abuse, early sexual activity. Hooligans may suffer because of the legal consequences of their behavior: damage, vandalism, criminal activity.

Long-term effects of bullying

Unfortunately, the effects of bullying are not temporary but continue into adulthood and vary depending on the person's role in the bullying situation. Both bullies and their victims who are involved in bullying in childhood and adolescence experience adverse mental health outcomes in adulthood. Victims have a high rate of depressive symptoms in adulthood, and both groups have an increased risk of psychiatric disorders requiring hospitalization.

Long-term consequences of bullying for the victim

Long-term psychological consequences are directly related to the traumatic impact that children experience as a result of constant bullying. Constant anxiety and depressive symptoms often accompany them for the rest of their lives, becoming a chronic problem. These problems complicate all the elements of a fulfilling, balanced life: eating, sleeping, working, exercising, and enjoying life. They also make it difficult to establish and maintain close relationships, whether with friends or romantic partners.

Although many parents and teachers think that the physical harm inflicted by a bully on a child is always more dangerous, this is not entirely true. Emotional damage lasts much longer than physical damage. Especially in childhood, when bodily injuries heal quickly and the victim's self-esteem can be permanently crippled. Bullying and humiliation is an attempt to instill fear and self-hatred in a child. Repetitive abuse undermines the child's ability to see himself as a complete, desirable, capable, and effective person. This results in the bully's victim being unable to trust himself as a complete person. In particular, this affects the ability of such a child and adult to cope with difficulties: the victim has learned that she is too weak or hopeless to cope with the problem, so they do not do it. This can have serious implications for work, relationships, and other life situations that require perseverance and determination to make an effort, overcome adversity, or succeed. It becomes difficult for victims to trust people, so they often remain lonely, have problems with employment and work. They do not know how to please themselves, to be happy, mainly due to the lack of a sense of control over their lives, which they were deprived of during childhood bullying.

Providing psychological and medical support to victims of bullying can prevent some of the potential long-term consequences of bullying. However, without intervention, child victims are at risk for the following disorders:

  • Increased risk of suicidal thoughts, suicide plans and suicide attempts
  • Anxiety disorders
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder
  • Poor general health
  • Self-destructive behaviour, including self-harm
  • Substance abuse
  • Difficulty in establishing trusting, mutual friendships and relationships

Unfortunately, some victims of violence who have not received help or who have not been able to process the trauma on their own become bullies themselves. This is a pathological mechanism for trying to process trauma at the expense of other people. (Actually, because of domestic violence, including sexual violence, many hooligans become hooligans). They exhibit many of the same manifestations as their abusers. When such people reach adulthood, they experience more serious difficulties and severe disorders than just bullies or just victims.

According to the study, they are at even greater risk of long-term psychological disorders than bullying or self-abuse. And although this class of children, according to the study, had an increased risk of marital difficulties at home, this was not the only determining factor.

A bully who grew out of a victim has increased rates of mental disorders, often suffers from agrophobia, panic and anxiety disorders. At a young age, bully former victims are at high risk of suicidality. While only 5% of young people who have never been bullies or victims have suicidal thoughts, one in four victim bullies experience them. They also have the highest rates of depression, anxiety, and panic disorders. This indicates that in a pathological way - an attempt to overcome one's status as a victim, becoming an aggressor, is the most destructive for the human psyche, both small and adult.

Long-term effects of bullying on the bully himself

Bullies often grow up to be unhappy adults. Their aggressive attitude towards the world around them does not work very well in adulthood, when a healthy society tries to isolate "cool", impulsive and aggressive people from themselves, who can only communicate in a circle of their own kind. Bullies may have difficulty with school and work, maintaining friendships, and maintaining romantic or even family relationships. They may also be at greater risk for suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Bullies have a higher risk of developing antisocial personality disorder or other types of personality disorders. They often remain depressed and anxious later in life, and have a high rate of psychiatric disorders.

Without proper treatment, bullying behavior is likely to continue into adulthood. Such people will:

  • Show domestic violence to spouses and children
  • Be cruel to animals
  • Have an increased risk of antisocial and criminal behavior
  • Suffer from alcohol or drug addiction
  • Have insufficient skill level
  • Lose your job
  • Have a reduced life expectancy.

The role of observers or bystanders in school bullying

The role of observers in situations of school violence, bullying, bullying and intimidation is usually overlooked, but this is a deeply mistaken position. In fact, bystanders play a critical role in the possibility of bullying. Although some acts of bullying take place in closed visits - in toilets, in basements, in attics, "around the corner", the main acts of bullying occur in front of many other children. It could be a cafeteria, a gym, a classroom, a bus, or a schoolyard. Often, witnesses are essential for a bully who needs to assert his authority in front of the audience and even seek her support. In the vast majority of cases, observers do not try to stop violence against other children. However, it is easy to understand why witnesses prefer to do nothing. There are many reasons why children try to stay away:

  • Fear that the bully will make them the next target
  • Opinion that it is “none of their business”
  • "Knocking" elders is not good
  • Feeling that the intervention will do nothing, especially if the children have previously told teachers who have taken no action.

The inaction of witnesses is not passive. When children observing bullying do nothing on the outside, they actively make a choice on the inside: either ignore the events, or pretend that it has nothing to do with them, or look at the bullying with interest and, sometimes, with pleasure. Regardless of what happens, watching without trying to stop the bullying becomes harmful to the bystanders themselves. Silent indulgence in violence, watching the unsightly scenes that each child tries on himself, just likewise has a traumatic effect on the psyche. Such children begin to drink and smoke, skip school, experience anxiety or depression. This situation, in turn, can lead to negative long-term psychological consequences.

If the school community is unacceptable to bullying, it occurs only in 4% of cases.

This is a great opportunity to talk to children about the dangers of bullying and teach them useful and effective ways to respond to bullying and bullying when they see it. When children feel that they can do something about unfair behavior to stop it, they do not lose a sense of control over life, they do not lose self-esteem and self-confidence, which often accompany learned helplessness, which in turn leads to anxiety and depression.

An example of a US school poster: How to deal with a bully?

  1. Let the teacher help you.
  2. Get out of the situation if possible.
  3. Let someone know about the problem immediately.
  4. Remember that you are not alone!

Bullying and suicide

There is a definite link between bullying and suicide, but the situation stems from several factors. Bullying and harassment lead to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, which can contribute to suicidal thoughts. Although bullied children are at increased risk of suicide, bullying alone is often not enough to induce suicidal thoughts and behavior. Many contributing factors must come together, including depression, problems at home, and a history of trauma. In addition, certain groups of children and adolescents are at increased risk of suicide, such as those of a non-traditional sexual orientation. This risk increases significantly if such children or adolescents are rejected by parents, peers and school authorities.

Children, as well as adults, should be made aware of the possible connection between suicide and bullying to help them understand that bullying is not a game or harmless behavior at all, but a form of violence that can lead to injury and death. Talking openly with children will not “scare” children, as some fearful parents and teachers think, but it can save someone’s life and lead to a collective response to bullying.

What perceptions of adults and children about bullying at school most often need to be corrected?

Currently, bullying and its tragic consequences often occupy the front pages of the media, but, unfortunately, the information almost always contains a lot of philistine misconceptions. Almost never does the media offer any solutions to the problems of school bullying. Moreover, due to the chronic neglect of bullying in schools during the 20th century, the understanding of the problem by society is often far from its true meaning and is limited to beliefs that it is “not such a big problem” and “it is only a matter between a bully and his victim”, which, as you hopefully understood from the article, does not at all correspond to the severity of the problem.

Other dangerous delusions still persist in society, including ideas such as:

  • “What can adults do? You can't keep track of children…” Adults can do almost anything to prevent bullying! Teachers can observe bullies to limit their aggression, they can explain the dangers of bullying and passively watching it for their own future, they can immediately respond to every signal of bullying, which in general will create an atmosphere of inadmissibility of bullying, violence and bullying. Parents should solve problems not with the bully's parents and, moreover, not with him directly, but to address the problems of persecution and violence to the school. They must tell the child that it is dangerous to hide violence against him, and that the problem must be solved as soon as it arose, not allowing it to develop. It is necessary to support the child's self-esteem, his faith in himself, and, if necessary, seek psychological help.
  • "Boys are more likely to be bullied." Not at all, girls are more likely to be victims of emotional and cyberbullying, sexual harassment, while boys and girls are equally susceptible to physical violence.
  • "Bulling starts with cyberbullying." Conversely, actual stalking and bullying usually results in cyberbullying. Most bullies are not faceless enemies, but real people that children meet at school. They are bullied first in the classroom and then may move to electronic bullying. Usually, however, if a child is bullied online, some of the negative events have already happened in the real world - face to face with the bully.
  • "Children just need to be stronger and fight back." This myth has remained from the old and not very good times, when "a boy must be a real man", and in order to solve the problem, it was just necessary to "sort it out among themselves." In fact, bullying, bullying and violence can break even the strongest person if left without support. And the advice to “get it right” can lead the victim to become a bully herself, suffering even more than just being a victim. Adults should deal with bullying issues: parents, teachers, psychologists.
  • "Passive bystanders cannot influence bullying." Witness violence and make bullying possible. Observers make up the audience for the hooligan's speech, part of the team admires the strength and "coolness" of the hooligan, the other part chuckles at the victim. The work of teachers and psychologists with passive observers in order to destroy their cognitive distortions imposed by hooligans or children's mythology, to teach them irreconcilability and active intervention in case of any manifestations of deviant hooligan behavior. Interestingly, in public life, unfair persecution of citizens by powerful hooligans is possible only with the passive consent of the intimidated majority and the silence of the media.
  • "Hooligans are popular." It happens, but not always. It is also necessary to distinguish between popularity and love for hooligans from the manifestations of the adaptive Stockholm syndrome, when the intimidated majority transforms fear into an ardent manifestation of love and admiration in order to survive. Exactly the same processes occur at the social level: for example, the fear of repression against the backdrop of absolute insecurity was transformed by the Soviet people into "ardent love for Comrade Stalin. "
  • "If a child were bullied, it would be noticeable." On average, every third or fourth student is constantly bullied at school. Do you know about it? Do teachers know about this? Only a few people report bullying, violence, harassment, sexual harassment, because: “knocking is bad”, adults will not help (“already reported nothing”, because they are afraid of the revenge of hooligans. Children must be taught to report any manifestation of violence - physical or psychological. Parents have a responsibility to their children to ask about bullying, listen to what children say and report it. Teachers are responsible for monitoring student behavior, creating a psychological atmosphere in the classroom, and administration and government are responsible for developing protection policies. As a nation, we have a responsibility to take care of our children and pass laws on school violence and bullying.0143
  • "Violence is only physical!". This is a persistent and very dangerous myth. Psychological violence leads to more tragic consequences for society than physical violence, resulting in suicide or school shootings.

What to do about bullying in school?

  1. At the state level, it is necessary to take legislative measures to combat bullying in order to have clearly defined, evidence-based measures to stop bullying, with the real responsibility of officials who allow it at school. Such laws should define what bullying is, how to report and investigate it, what behaviors are prohibited in response to bullying, how to communicate with children, monitor their psychological state, how to deal with bullies, what assistance to provide to victims.
  2. Parents and teachers who want to stop bullying can do so by making it clear to students that they do not tolerate bullying and will act in the strongest possible way. Among the most harmful aspects of bullying is the formation of the feeling that the victim is helpless and the situation is hopeless. By refusing to tolerate bullying, adults show that the child is not stuck in a helpless situation that will not change. This can greatly alleviate the psychological state of the child - the victim.
  3. If a child is bullied for a long time, it is important to conduct psychological prevention of the negative consequences of such bullying. The main damage caused during bullying in childhood is associated with the destruction of self-esteem and a drop in the child's self-esteem. To correct this severe damage, the victim must be helped to develop a strong, adaptive and stress-resistant personality, able to recover from traumatic impacts. Such children need to be taught to trust themselves and others, set goals and achieve them. Otherwise, life for them may seem hopeless and meaningless.
  4. The abused child needs to be helped to find activities in which he can excel, to develop his hobbies and interests in which he excels, and to spend time in activities he enjoys. This will provide an opportunity to heal the emotional wounds created by the feeling of helplessness in the face of violence, will return positive self-esteem and confidence in yourself and your strengths.
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