Why am i broken
Am I broken? - MHA Screening
Sometimes life comes down on us like a ton of bricks, and we start to feel like we’re the problem. Experiencing traumatic events, failed relationships, having a mental health condition, or feeling unsuccessful can make us feel like we’re “damaged goods.” And we may start to wonder: am I broken?
In these moments where we feel broken, it’s important to acknowledge that it’s ok to feel this way. Validating this feeling allows you to see yourself as human and helps you move forward. You may feel broken in this moment, but you will not feel broken forever.
Life can make us feel broken
Feeling broken and feeling unworthy often go hand in hand. We often equate our worthiness with our success in life. And we fall into the thinking trap of believing that we
should be at a certain place or have made certain achievements. Acknowledge this feeling, but try not to dwell in it. Feeling broken is a sign to reorient your life and start figuring out where your priorities are. No matter how broken or unworthy you’re feeling, you’re always worthy of happiness.
Or sometimes our life experiences make us feel broken. Living through traumatic experiences or living with a mental health condition may make us wonder, “Have I experienced things so damaging that I’m broken?” When we feel this way it’s important to recognize that what has happened in the past (or present) has no effect on your worthiness. You may be going through a difficult time right now, but you will get through it.
Feeling broken may amplify the belief that something must be wrong with you while the rest of the world goes on with their lives. It can feel like everyone else has it all together while you can’t seem to figure life out. But this isn’t actually true. At some point, many of us feel broken. We’re all human, and life is messy. Comparing yourself to others will only make you feel worse, so try to avoid this if possible.
Gluing yourself back together
Image source: Wikimedia FoundationThis photograph shows a ceramic dish that has been broken—and repaired with gold.
(This is a Japanese technique called kintsugi.) The cracks represent a permanent loss… but they also allow the dish to be more beautiful than it was before—and a lot more interesting.
Think of yourself as a vase. You may have been broken, but a broken vase glued back together is still a vase. Even if it doesn’t look quite the same as before, it still serves its original purpose. This is a powerful analogy to remember when you feel broken. Even though you may have a few scars, you’re still the same person. You’re still here, and you still have a purpose.
Though it might not seem like it now, our challenges make us who we are. Your experiences are the glue that holds the vase together. When you’re deep in the trenches of feeling broken this might sound like nonsense, but it’s true: your past has made you stronger or helped you to grow in some way. While you may feel broken, you can always glue yourself back together and rebuild.
If you’re concerned about your mental health, start by taking one of our mental health tests.
Or by exploring the links on this site to learn more about mental health.
7 Things To Remember When You Feel Broken Inside
I have been broken many times in my life. I have had life deliver blows that have knocked me to the ground. The pain and the feelings of hopelessness and despair have consumed my life for many months. I wondered if I would ever survive this, or if I would live a life where I felt happy and safe. Slowly, over time, my life got better and I got stronger.
Now when I look back, I realize that these events, though they were painful at the time, were the catalysts for me to change my life. Now I am living my life doing what I love – writing, speaking and coaching.
For us to live our lives to the fullest, the only way we can achieve this is by overcoming the challenges that life throws at us. We have to experience the pain, the betrayal, the adversity, the feelings of hopelessness and the despair in life, because how else do we learn about who we are?
There is no other way for us to learn how to be resilient, courageous, hopeful and optimistic about life and our future.
Though we do not like it, everyone feels broken at some point in their life journey. Often when we find ourselves at this place of despair, we do not know what to do and so we can end up living our life through our fear, regret, pain, disillusionment and sadness. This is not the way our lives are meant to be lived.
When you feel demotivated, try the free Fast-Track Class – Activate Your Motivation, a free session that will help you find your drive for life so you will not lose motivation again easily.
When you are feeling broken inside, remember these 7 things as they will help you discover your courage and build your resilience so that you can step out and embrace the joy of living a life you love.
1. Remember to Accept and Anticipate Change
“It is not the most intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest that survives; but the species that survives is the one that is able best to adapt and adjust to the changing environment in which it finds itself.
” — Dr Leon C. Megginson
In today’s world of constant change, it is hard to hold on to who you are and manage the complexity and unpredictability of life. The one constant thing in our lives today is change.
Instead of fighting the inevitability of change, learn how to accept it. Embrace change and know that by doing this your life can only get better.
Resisting change will fuel the negative energy that keeps you feeling broken and discouraged about life.
2. Remember to Embrace Your Power Of Choice
“Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.” — Kevyn Aucion
Using your power of choice will enable you to change your approach to life from one where you languish in pain to one where you flourish with joy and hope.
Using your power of choice empowers and strengthens your ability to take action and to make decisions.
Your power of choice is a gift that you have within you that if you choose to use, will transform your life.
3. Remember to Ask For Help
“Asking for help does not mean that we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced level of honesty and intelligence.” Anne Wilson Schaef
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. When we are feeling so broken inside, we want to hide away from the world. Sometimes, it is because we feel embarrassed, or we believe that people won’t understand what we are going through.
The support, advice and encouragement from others helps us to overcome adversity and solve problems in our life.
It is the energy and wisdom from friends, family and supporters that fuels our courage and our desire to take action to change our lives for the better.
4. Remember to Be Present
“Yesterday is gone.
Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” — Mother Teresa
Your thoughts fuel how you feel about your life. When you feel broken in your life, it will be your negative thoughts that dictate your feelings of sadness, disillusionment and unhappiness. When you feel joy and happiness, your positive thoughts of hope and self belief will support more of these feelings.
The key to managing your negative thoughts is to practice trying to distance yourself from these thoughts and observe them rather than react automatically to them.
Identify those thoughts that will draw you in and create confusion and inertia within you. Accept that these thoughts do not serve you well and work towards having more control over them.
Label the type of thought you are having rather than paying attention to its content. Observe your thoughts and if you notice a thought that is judging (how good or bad the situation is), label it “judging”.
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If you are criticizing yourself for doing something wrong, then label that thought “criticizing”.
Then, ask yourself how long you want to spend criticizing and blaming yourself. My suggestion is that you spend zero time doing this activity.
Some tips for you: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying
5. Remember to Focus on What Brings You Joy
“Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain” — Joseph Campbell
When you are feeling despair, frustration and hopelessness, it is easy to forget the good things that are happening in your life. In fact, if you are consumed by negativity, you will start to believe that there is nothing good in your life.
Focusing on what in your life is good and what brings you joy is an important step to you changing your life. The more you focus on the good in your life, the more hopeful you become.
Positivity and hope are contagious and the more you celebrate this, the better you will feel about your life. Here’re some inspirations for you: 32 Things You Should Be Grateful For
6.
Remember to Be Hopeful about Your Future“The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time” — Abraham Lincoln
It is understandable that when you feel broken in life, you can become consumed by the concern that this is what your life will be like forever. It is very hard to be hopeful about the future when you feel so much pain and heartache. However, your pain and heartache will not heal you and deep down inside, you want to be healed – you just don’t know how.
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For me, when I felt broken in my life, the one thing that helped me on my journey of healing was to try and keep hopeful about my future. It was important for me to keep perspective on the fact that what was happening in my life at the time was not a part of my future life. That tiny bit of hope I had about my future was enough for me to slowly start to heal — step by step.
7. Remember to Accept That Life Is a Mystery
“The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved; it is a reality to be experienced” — Jacobus Johannes Leeuw
Life is a funny thing and the more we fight and resist it, the harder it is to live our life. Accepting and embracing the mystery of life allows us to heal and look at our pain as only one chapter of many chapters in our life.
Life throws us curve balls. It tests us and challenges us. We survive and thrive in life by embracing these challenges so that we can grow and live courageous and resilient lives.
When we feel broken inside, we need to remember that this is part of our journey and that there is no escaping the pain. We just have to work our way through the pain and despair.
Instead of fighting and questioning life and blaming yourself for how you feel, take a deep breath and remember that life is a mystery. Do not make the moments of despair and unhappiness in your life as foundations for how you will live your life forever.
Your role in life is to embrace it – the good the bad and the ugly and to live your life to its fullest – so go live it!
“Ester asked why people are sad. “That’s simple,” says the old man. “They are the prisoners of their personal history. Everyone believes that the main aim in life is to follow a plan. They never ask if that plan is theirs or if it was created by another person. They accumulate experiences, memories, things, other people’s ideas, and it is more than they can possibly cope with. And that is why they forget their dreams.” – Paul Coelho, The Zahir.
More Tips About Living the Life You Want
- What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People
- How to Be Happy Again: 13 Simple Ways to Shake off Sadness Now
- How to Have Happy Thoughts and Train Your Brain to Be Happy
Featured photo credit: J’Waye Covington via unsplash.com
I broke down. no core, no joy, no sense
Requests for helpWrite your story
I don't know how to write or what to write.
I want to die. for over a year now. I can't help myself. there were attempts, there was a reason.
you know, I'm broken. no core, no joy, no meaning. Every day I convince myself that it will pass, but it does not.
I don’t have any friends, my business partners all fled, I’m completely messed up, my fiancé left, I’ve lost my health, it seems to me that I’ve even aged outwardly .... and for a year and a half I’ve been living in hell. Now I believe that there is hell on earth . I know, suicidal sinners. but I feel, I know that I am not needed, I interfere with people. nine0005 my work is aimed at helping, but they don’t understand me at all, they think I want to cash in on them .... I still love my ex, even though he’s on the other.
the rest of me only want sex or money when they were.... what happened to my life? sometimes it seems that this is a dream and you want to wake up from everything, and if not, fall asleep forever...
Nameless, age: 23 / 02/02/2011
Responses:
Hello, dear!
Yes, it is very difficult for you in life, but God does not give a person more trials than a person can bear. Groom left? Yes, the tablecloth is dear to him, why do you need such a person on whom you cannot rely? Forgive and let go. And say "thank you" for the fact that it happened now, and not later, when you would have become attached with all your heart. nine0005 Partners run away? Spit on it all, it's better to understand people now than later. And you do your job, help people, you are a smart girl, and your kindness will definitely return to you. Go to church, pray to the Lord, read the Bible and God will surely change your life and fill you with joy and happiness. Everything will be fine with you and there will be faithful and worthy people next to you.
Go to an orphanage and give abandoned kids your warmth, care and love, help financially if you can. The basic law of prosperity in the Bible is: let it be given to you... Do good and it will surely come back to you. nine0005 May God bless you!
Aleana, age: 40 / 02.02.2011
Hello nameless! A person is always needed by someone, there is always a person or who needs someone's care and affection. Probably you should offer your help to those who are not looking for a catch in the offer. I think you will find your destiny there. God bless you.
Tired dervish, age: --- / 03.02.2011
Everything will work out for you, not now, but someday, and God will make you happy, but on one condition. If you can't do something, then all you need is this. To be strong. To destroy the devil that destroys your life. Which pushes you to the abyss, further from God. Here are the three words. SIMPLY. TRY.
BEEN THROUGH.
Andrey, age: 20 / 04.02.2011
Hello! In fact, all this is nonsense. You are at the most beautiful age. Here I am now struggling with similar things, even
even worse, but at the age of 33. No strength. No perspective. But even I don't want to lay hands on myself. I know time will pass,
thoughts will come in order and everything else. So it was already 23 times ... Like you. But, then she managed, and lived another 10
happy years!!! Truly happy. Don't deprive yourself of this. Whatever, it will still be. And then, in 10-15 years,
see what to do....
julia, age: 33 / 02/05/2011
You know .. but I also often thought how bad everything is with me, how no one needs me, that suicide is so simple and
quickly and this is the way out ... and when she found out that death is closer than ever, she became so real, then all things are completely
appear in a different light and in a different quality.
Somehow I immediately want to live, even with all the problems (no
certain future, no prospects, speech even worse than stuttering, no friends at all, only
relatives parents) all the little things faded into the background - you have to feel it. The whole system of values ("it will be very bad -
I'll kill myself", "how poor and unhappy I am", etc.) changes. You just have despondency, depression, it can cost
endure this period, when everything will work out? And it will definitely get better, your arms, legs, head are in place, no
deadly disease - already means everything is not so bad.
Yulia, age: 02/23/2011
Hello. I understand how everything seems hopeless now. and the smallest action seems the most difficult. we all do not have a core and we are not capable of anything ourselves. we're just people in need of someone to take care of us. sometimes the Lord allows certain things to happen in our lives so that we can finally see that we need him.
nothing is lost for you yet. You really have your whole life ahead of you. you need to have some basis on which you can rely, hope. The Lord can be that foundation. They are. know that you are very dear to Him. just like that, broken, unnecessary, sick. He wants to cherish you, caress you. Just talk to Him if you want. and when there is a foundation, then the forces will move further. you have a home where you can always return. in the hands of the Lord there is a special place only for you, no one will replace you for Him. Hold on please. you are not alone. nine0003
valya, age: 02/27/2011
1987 I am 24. I am a successful, rapidly rising businessman. A beautiful wife, whom I love to the point of madness, works as a deputy director of one of the Moscow Trades. A bunch of friends, connections, opportunities, prospects.
Just one tiny stupidity that was born in my head crossed out my whole life in one evening.
The result - the loss of a wife, friends, connections, opportunities, 6 years of strict regime, poor health, tuberculosis .
..
What do you think, how much was “driven away” in the head for those long, long 6 years? Did I want to live then?
Now I am 48, I am married to the most beautiful woman in the world, we have 6 of the most beautiful children in the world and complete well-being. And today I consider those 6 cruel, gloomy years of the zone that shaped me as a Human being to be the best years of my life, which laid the foundation for the present happiness. They didn’t embitter and didn’t kill, like others, but gave them the opportunity to rethink life and their place in it. And I thank God that at the very end of life He gave the wisdom to say to myself: "I will not rush, I will live and see what could come of it." nine0005 What do I want to say?
Only the future can determine the correctness of our decisions. But interrupting our lives, we will never know about it ... As well as the fact that in today's suffering we, perhaps, live our best years, which lay a solid foundation for our entire subsequent happy life.
And about the "rod" you are deeply wrong.
If you have an understanding and a desire to help people, then you have this core! And this is the real, the only correct rod. Hold on to it with all your heart, with all your soul, and keep it. He will fill your life with meaning! If you, of course, want it ...
Happiness to you!
Ilya, age: 48/06/2011
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I broke down and I broke down and I broke I don't know...
#1
Faith
How to be?
#2
#3
9000 Try to read your story as if from the outside and think about what YOU would advise the girl Vera in such a situation
#7
Vizavi
Try to read your story as if from the outside and think about what YOU would advise the girl Vera in such a situation
2016, 12:03
#9
#11
Guest
what's wrong with your eyebrows? draw at least symmetrically!
#12
Guest
You need to be grateful for not lonely, that there is a man: sexual partner, cohabitant
#13
Guest
A what is so good about it? March 23, 2016
#15
#16
Guest
lack of female loneliness.
As far as I understand, the author's man does not change her. and there are certainly good sides to it, she just needs to be able to realize them. and become grateful. March 23, 2016 Sex is
#180004 Faith
What to do?
#20
#21
went to study different cities
#22
#23
Guest
The first to make it eliminated the reason for all this. Break up with this person.
Second, would you think about how I would like to see myself? What to leave and what to change. Appearance would definitely do. You are a woman, and if you do not feel attractive, nothing in life will work out. Communication is not only friends and chatter, but also building up the necessary contacts and environment. And it helps a lot in the professional field. So think ahead. nine0003
#24
#25,0003
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