When you love a man with low self esteem
When You Love a Man With Low Self-Esteem - 9 Things to Keep in Mind
by Paul Graves
So you love a guy with low self-esteem. Sucks to be you. I’m saying that as a dude who used to hate himself. Who still kind of does. I know the crap you deal with. He must drive you nuts.
I was in a relationship with an angel, let’s call her Mary. Mary was such a pure, beautiful soul. We connected. Looking into her eyes filled me with comfort and calmed my fears. Mary loved me so much, and I loved her too. But I hated myself even more. Long story short – I ran away from her love. The love I felt unworthy of. I sought validation and distraction in women, alcohol and career moves. And in many other dark ways I won’t mention.
Low self-esteem is easy to explain yet hard to understand for some. It’s feeling shameful about who you are. Feeling guilty or embarrassed about who you are, deep in your core. You feel ‘different’. Damaged or flawed in fundamental, irreversible ways. You don’t love yourself. Your man may never admit it outright – but he wishes he were someone else.
Alas, there’s no return policy in life. We’re stuck in this skin forever, and the hate, the self-pity – it gets us nowhere. But here’s the rub:
When a man is dealing with low self-esteem, he’ll make mistakes. Big mistakes. My shame and low self-esteem led me to become reckless. I felt a constant, nearly unbearable background anxiety. I had to make myself feel different. I had to escape. Luckily, there were several reliable methods: nonstop partying, irresponsible sex, starting businesses, spending lots of money, exotic traveling. My worst nightmare was being alone, in a quiet room. I couldn’t stand my own company. Maybe your man feels the same way, I pray he doesn’t. But my feelings aren’t unique.
The mistakes I made led to more shame and guilt. And then more mistakes made running away from those feelings. The cycle continues. This leads to what I like to call the 9th dimension of shame. The hole can get so deep. The spiral of pain seems unstoppable.
Your man’s low self-esteem can manifest in a variety of ways. Every guy will act out in his own way. Some pull back and hide, some flee and seek experiences. Others party and rage, or try to prove themselves at work. It’s troublesome for both the sufferer and the poor individual who loves them so much. Low self-esteem is tricky; the sufferer can distract himself or run away from it for years. He may not even realize that the darkness he feels is low self-esteem. And it’s f*cking heartbreaking.
If you love him, he will need you to get through it. You may be able to show him the light. Don’t give up on him, he needs you. Many times it will be confusing, and he may hurt you without wanting to. (Trust me, he doesn’t want to hurt you. He hurts enough just being himself.)
Here are some important things to remember: a cheat sheet to get you through tough times. And maybe to help him see the truth of his ways.
He loves you so much, but hates himself even more.
He’s lost. You two may have such an obvious, beautiful opportunity for love but he squanders it. He only sees his own shortcomings. His pain and depression is like a dark, heavy, thick blanket that he just can’t shake. But like I said above, he may not even realize it. He’s not trying to mess with your head. He’s not unreachable. However he is in a state of constant anxiety, always wishing he could be someone HE loves. If you say ‘I love you’, he probably thinks: ‘Why would you? You can’t. You’re wrong’.
He yearns to love himself, and the struggle to do that can ruin your relationship. This should be a good thing, right? Not all men act out this feeling in healthy ways. It will be hard but think about their perspective. If they don’t love themselves maybe you can do something to help them. If you love him, do what you can to help his HEART. Buy him books on spirituality, ask him how he feels about himself. Listen, and if required seek the help of a licensed therapist or psychologist.
A book I recommend is No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover. It was a wake-up call, and helped launch my wild journey of transformation. Don’t let the title fool you, it’s a book about shame, self-worth and learning to accept yourself. It’s a powerful starting point, buy it now.
He may seek attention outside the relationship, or activities without you.
This was a huge factor in my relationship ending. My low self-esteem led me to crave attention from other potential partners. I was addicted to approval and validation from other women.
Maybe he likes attention from others, flirtation and come-hither looks. I hope you haven’t caught him on dating sites or apps. That was another thing I would do – I craved the attention so much. Maybe he also yearns for people to tell him how cool he is, how great he dresses, or what a sweet job he has. Point is, he’s just crazy for attention.
He seeks attention and approval from other people – but what about you? Self-esteem is a real b*tch. He thinks that he has to either prove to himself that he’s worthy, or look for evidence of it anywhere he can. ‘If other people tell me I’m great, then that must mean I’m great.’
It may be common sense to you – that we should all love and respect ourselves as human beings. But to a sufferer of low self-esteem, this isn’t the case. Having low self-esteem is like being in a courtroom. And you’re guilty until proven innocent. He’s shameful at the core of his being. His soul appears blackened, damaged and irreparable. He craves escapes from reality.
Try to talk with him about this. ‘I think you act like this because you like how it makes you feel, right? Why do you need to feel this way? Can’t you just be yourself, how you feel now?’ ‘Why aren’t I enough?’ ‘Do you need help learning to love yourself?’
If your man can’t handle this conversation, consider moving on. He’s not ready. It must be him who makes the changes necessary to heal. It is NEVER on your shoulders to do this for him.
He believes he must have ‘got lucky’. He feels unworthy of you.
At first he cherished you. You were his prize. He held you close, showed you off to the world. It was intoxicating and intense. But soon, he knew he ‘had you’ and started looking around. The high that you and the new relationship gave him faded. The drug wore off, so he’s seeking fresh supply. He needs more intense intoxicating experiences to feel okay about himself.
I had an amazing partner in Mary, but I didn’t believe I was worthy. She could see the man I was, beyond the shit-storm that was my life. She saw through my shame and self-hatred but I couldn’t buy it. I was too deep in my own trance.
I thought I’d got lucky, that I’d fooled her somehow. So I needed to prove that I could be worthy of someone amazing. Does that sound stupid or what? I wanted to be able to ‘earn someone’ who everyone else wanted, to prove to myself that I was a valuable man. Then I could love myself.
Remember that this isn’t about you – this is about a hole he has in his heart. He needs to know that he didn’t just ‘get lucky’ when he landed you. Don’t let him feel that way! Please, tell him you love him. Tell him everything you think is unique and enticing about him. Don’t make it only about appearance either. If he feels like he fooled you, he will not treat the relationship with the respect. This is an important point.
He may be restless, or always trying to prove something to the world or himself.
Some call it ‘hustle’ or ambition. Maybe he has grand ideas or entrepreneurial zeal up the wazoo. He wants to create something that will change the world. That’s wonderful, but in his case it may be a cover-up: a distraction from voices in his head. The voices that say, ‘you’re not enough’. He’s trying to create a life that will prove his worth.
He doesn’t want a life without you. His big dreams or grandiose desires get him out of his head. They give him hope that maybe one day, just maybe he will be able to like the man he is. After he does all this awesome stuff.
There is nothing wrong with drive and initiative. But why is he so driven? Why does he desire so much? If we bothered to ask ourselves ‘why’ we want the things we do, we could save ourselves much heartbreak. We’d stop running after so many shiny red balls. We could live with more purpose. Your man should ask himself why he wants to accomplish so much.
To bring him down to earth, remind him how much life there is to live right now, in this moment. This moment, between the two of you. Kiss his lips, hold his head in your hands. Tousle that hair and look deep into those eyes you love so much. Say, ‘I love you for exactly who you are, right now’. Tell him he is enough.
The point isn’t to make him an aimless, lazy ass. It’s to make sure he has his motivation and priorities in the right place.
He can be extremely jealous or insecure about other men.
My ex, Mary, had to think that I was perfect and wonderful at all times. She was my entire support system, and my source of confidence and security. She was my everything. (And yet I treated her awfully – aren’t men the greatest?)
If I felt threatened or not #1 importance in her life, I would start to lose my sh*t. The low self-esteem inside your man creates an enormous hole. He filled it with you, and sprinkles in other things like vices and attention from others. When you threaten to leave them empty again they go crazy or become irrational.
He doesn’t want you to suffer. Nor does he want to dominate you. He doesn’t know why he feels this way, but it’s because he hates who he is. In effect it’s self-defense, your actions hurt him. It’s painful enough just being who he is – when you threaten to make him feel even worse about himself … he lashes out or gets uncomfortable.
Nothing about this is okay. I’m only telling it like it is.
It can be near impossible to get him living ‘in the moment’.
Many guys with low self-esteem are living in the past. He may be guilt-ridden and woeful over opportunities he failed to seize. Maybe he regrets not doing better in school, or choosing a better college. He might feel like a failure and disappointment to his family. Who knows, the point is he rides himself down all the time.
Alternately, he’s living in the future. He dreams of a day when he can ‘be happy’. You may feel sad because it seems all he cares about is making lots of money, accomplishments or fame. Or making his family proud. He may seem to leave you out of his utopian vision of the future. But he probably just feels he’ll only worthy of you once he conquers the world. He feels he’s unworthy of happiness until he proves himself. These thoughts consume him and he’s desperate for that sweet moment of relief when he’s ‘made it’. Problem: it’s never coming.
You love him exactly as he is, right? Tell him that right now.
True commitment scares the sh*t out of him – but not for the reason you think.
In my relationship, I was afraid because I didn’t know who the hell I was. The only parts of myself I knew were sh*t. I didn’t feel like a good person, so who would want to be with me? I convinced myself that I was helping by not giving her marriage or children. By not giving her 100% true commitment I was doing her a favor.
I didn’t believe in myself. I had no faith in my own goodness or potential. I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle the hard times that would come. My feelings were ‘everything I touch turns to sh*t, so why would I waste her time? It’s doomed from the start, and I do not want to hurt her’.
No advice here, no matter what he’s going to give you the ‘deer in the headlights’ look. Knowing this may help you understand the complexity of a man. He needs to learn to love himself through the hard times before he can love you through the hard times.
He may enjoy seeing you in pain or suffering for the relationship.
Sick, huh? Hate me if you want, I don’t care. I come in truth. This is a tough one to talk about. Self-esteem can get so low that a man gets validation from seeing his partner suffer. Seeing a person go through hell for us, feel pain caused by us – can actually give us pride.
It’s a dose of the ‘I’m worthy’ drug … ‘Look at how this person goes crazy for me, I must be worthy’.
Enough said, it’s time to leave the relationship. Hurt never justifies hurt.
He adores you – but he needs to learn how to love himself.
Your guy has to learn to love himself. This includes all the deepest and darkest parts too, the parts that scare him to death. The unfaced and unfelt parts of our psyche are the source of all neurosis and suffering. Carl Jung said that, not me.
If he only loves a certain part of himself like his looks, the rest of him will just go on undeveloped. In many ways I was like a child before. I avoided pain or sacrifice every chance I could, and I turned into a big man-child. If this is happening to your man, you must stop it right away.
In the end, you can get over this together. The bond between you will be unbreakable, and he will love you forever. He’ll never forget that you were the girl who helped him discover the greatest love in the universe. His love for himself. Stick in there, but develop a plan right away. Not only is he suffering, you are as well. Take action now. If he refuses to draw a line in the sand and change his life, it may be time to walk away.
About the Author: Paul Graves
Paul Graves writes about pain, shame, and better living through self-acceptance at TakeTheLemons.com. He lives in Ohio with his 7-year old daughter and two cats.
Paul is on Twitter and Instagram.
10 Things to Expect When You Love a Man With Low Self-Esteem
It is well-known that sustaining a long-term romantic relationship, whether you’re married or unmarried, takes work. Love takes work.
It isn’t always going to be full of passion and attraction. But, what about loving a man who has low self-esteem?
It’s difficult to figure out if your man has low self-esteem. He may be incredibly handsome and successful, yet, a few weeks or months in, you may discover pertinent character flaws in him.
Men with low self-esteem can be very difficult to love. Simply put, falling in love isn’t the difficult part, sustaining a relationship or dating someone with low self-esteem is the challenge.
You may be here exactly for that reason. You may be wondering how to deal with men with low self-esteem ? How to deal with low self-esteem in relationships?
Don’t worry, this article will help shed some light on this matter.
Just take a long, deep breath, exhale, and continue reading.
What is low self-esteem in a man
To figure out the signs of low self-esteem in a man, it is imperative you know what low self-esteem means.
What is self-esteem? It is basically how a person evaluates their worth. So, low self-esteem means that your man may be viewing himself as less worthy.
He may be feeling shameful about himself, his potential, his characteristics, and so on. He may be looking down upon himself. He may be lacking confidence in himself. men with low self-esteem do not like themselves.
When it comes to men with low self-esteem, they are capable of loving someone else but are incapable of loving themselves. Low self-esteem in men manifests as feeling damaged in basic or fundamental ways.
You must understand that your man may not admit it directly, but he may be wishing on the inside that he was like someone else.
The concept of self-love is sort of alien to such men. You may be feeling upset and sympathetic for your man after knowing all this.
It’s okay, it happens. Your head may be flooded with questions like how to help a man with low self-esteem ?
Well, to help out your man, you first need to know what you may be in for. What to expect?
How does low self-esteem impact your man? Don’t worry, just read the next section to understand the effects of low self-esteem.Low self-esteem: The effects on a man
Men with low self-esteem show certain signs of the same. To understand whether you’re dating a man with low self-esteem, you need to know about these signs.
Why? It’s because these signs are the manifestations of the effect of low-self-esteem.
Here are some of the ways in which low self-esteem may have impacted your man:
Men with low self-esteem will have a generally negative outlook towards life. It’s true and it’s sad. They lack positivity and optimism.
They’re not even pragmatic. They may be downright negative. And the thing is, this negative attitude can be there about several things- the big and small things.
This is another general characteristic in men with low self-esteem. They may be wary about an upcoming promotion at work. Your man may love pets but is very unsure about getting one for himself.
He may be wary about cleaning his apartment. There are many such signs to understand this impact.
- Low self-confidence
This is probably one of the simplest impacts that you can observe in your man. Does he not feel great about his skill set or his looks or his success? It may be because he has very little confidence in himself.
This is one of those characteristics of a man with low self-esteem that can have a major impact on his quality of life.
- Addictive behavior
This is one of the more subtle signs of poor self-esteem. Low self-esteem can make a person prone to becoming addicted to substances such as alcohol, nicotine, hard drugs, pornography, and so on.
Now that you know about the impact of low self-esteem in men, let’s move on to what you can expect from men with low self-esteem in relationships.10 things to expect when you love a man with low self-esteem
You may consider expecting the following things if you happen to have fallen in love with a man who has low self-esteem:1. His hatred for himself may exceed his love for you
Now, this one might probably be the biggest pill to swallow as a partner. Yes, it’s true, men with low self-esteem may be struggling to love you more than he dislikes himself.
Unfortunately, guys with low self-esteem are lost. They can go through times when they fail to see the beauty of the relationship they have with their significant others.
Why? It’s because they’re engrossed in hating themselves. If you say you love him, he may be busy wondering why you do because he may feel unworthy of you.
Also Try: Does My Husband Hate Me Quiz2. He may be prone to seeking validation through activities that do not involve you
This one is quite tricky to grasp. If your boyfriend has low self-esteem, he may have a wandering eye. This means he may be quite flirtatious with other people.
Why does he do this? He does this because it’s his way of feeling validated, wanted, and worthy. This is one of the things that you must be very careful and aware of.3. He may feel unworthy of your love and presence in his life
Yes, this can happen. Why? Your man may think that the reason you two are together is that he somehow got lucky just this once.
Initially, he probably cherished you. It’s as if you were his prize. This happened in that initial phase of intense attraction and infatuation.
But when that phase is over, he’ll try to find ways to prove that he is worthy of your commitment and love. When it comes to learning how to deal with a man with low self-esteem, always remember this.
Also Try: Do I Deserve Love Quiz4. He may be quite restless
One of the things that may have initially drawn you to your boyfriend might have been his love for hard work or his ambition.
But this comes from a place of restlessness and desire to prove to the world that he is worthy. That’s why men with low self-esteem may often be very restless.5. He may be highly competitive, even with you
You might, unfortunately, learn about this aspect of dating men with low self-esteem the hard way. You do not want to tap into their competitive side.
You might discover this characteristic through simple things like playing board games with him. You may even experience this when you experience major success in life.
Say you’ve bagged that big promotion. men with low self-esteem won’t take this the right way. To your man, he may see this as another evidence of the fact that he is not enough.
He may therefore behave competitively with you.
Also Try: Why Am I Single Quiz for Male6. He may be quite insecure and suspicious
Jealousy, insecurity, and suspicion come easy for men with low self-esteem. As a partner, you will essentially become the source of your man’s confidence and worth.
That gaping hole inside of him is filled with validation from you. So, it’s very easy for such men to feel threatened or jealous by the presence of other male figures in your life such as your close friend, your cousin brother, your coworker, etc.7. The victim card will be used very often
When it comes to men with self-esteem issues, be prepared to witness the “woe is me” mindset. Such men have an external locus of control. So, if anything unfortunate happens to them, they are sure to blame it on others.
He’s not well? It’s because his colleague forced him to party too hard the night before. Meeting didn’t go well? It’s all because of his co-workers.
Everything is somebody else’s fault. Are you ready to deal with this?
Related Reading: Self-Esteem Makes Successful Relationships8. He may be very scared to commit to you
Commitment is a tough one for him. Committing to you is very scary for him. It’s not because he doesn’t love you. It may be because he loathes himself and thinks he is protecting you from misfortune by not committing to you.
Sounds twisted, right? Well, it is a distorted way of thinking.9. He may get a kick out of hurting you
This may sound really harsh but it’s true. Low self-esteem in males may manifest itself through hurting you.
Men with low self-esteem have such a high need for external validation to feel worthy that they can sort of like hurting your feelings.
Seeing you feel upset or cry over them is one of the ways in which they feel worthy in your eyes.
Also Try: Why Am I Scared of Relationships Quiz10. He may behave like a child very often
Men who have self-esteem issues often have this overbearing need to be pampered by their partners. They can get really clingy sometimes. Such men want their girlfriends to be their mothers.
You may find yourself having to take care of his food, clothing, medications, and so on.
Here’s how dating a man with low self-esteem feels like:
When it comes to loving men with low self-esteem, just remind yourself that it’s not your doing. It’s on them.
Loving such a man can be challenging but through active listening and empathy, accepting hai defensive nature, healthy coping mechanisms, and encouraging him, you can navigate your way through this.
4 features of a relationship with a man who has low self-esteem - A site for the soul
When you think about men, the last thing that seems is they hate themselves. It usually does not seem that they do not know how to love themselves and that their self-confidence is in danger every day.
They seem to us very stern and strong, self-confident and self-loving.
But when you meet a man with low self-esteem and start to build a relationship with him, the whole view of men in general changes. You understand that everything is not always as it seems, that men can also be hard. nine0003
Some men are very insecure and try to hide it. But when you fall in love with someone like that, you become aware of a reality that is rarely talked about out loud.
He seems perfect at first, as does your relationship. But over time, you begin to notice things that you have not seen before.
You realize that you love a man who has low self-esteem and that this relationship will be different from others. Here's why:
1. He loves you very much, but he hates himself just as much. nine0016
He sees in you everything he needs in a woman. And it's nice. It's captivating.
But at the same time he considers himself insignificant. He doesn't understand what attracted you to him. And no matter how much you tell him that you love him, how good he is, he cannot see and understand it. He just doesn't believe you.
2. He always feels unworthy of you.
As your relationship develops, you get to know each other, you reveal your complexes and shortcomings to him, and he reveals his to you. And yet, he wonders how lucky he is to be with you. You have to constantly remind him why you love him, but it doesn't help. nine0003
3. He is constantly trying to prove himself to others.
He is trying to prove that he is good enough: in front of friends, family, colleagues and in front of you. But it's just a defense mechanism. This helps him to distract himself from negative thoughts about himself.
He believes that he must do something special to be worth something. Only his ability to somehow differ from others helps him feel worthy.
And yet he considers himself mediocre, who needs to constantly prove himself. And you have to tell him that he shouldn't always go out of his way. You love him anyway, but he doesn't believe you. nine0003
4. He is jealous and feels very insecure around other men.
When you date a man with low self-esteem, you have to explain a lot of things. When you mention the name of another man, you can directly see how it hurts him, how he already comes up with a whole scenario of your betrayal in his head.
Every day you have to help him to be more confident in himself, to remind him that you love him and are not going to leave.
It all becomes your reality, daily.
A man with low self-esteem will love you very much, but it will take a lot of time and energy to prove to him that you love him too. It's not easy, but if it's your person, then it's worth it.
4 characteristics of a relationship with a man who has low self-esteem
: Author Olga Romaniv :: Dni.ru
Why do some people, leaving one defective relationship, immediately fall into the same one? Why are they haunted by suffering, humiliation and lack of mutual love? Psychologists are sure - it's all about low self-esteem. nine0003
What is low self-esteem. What is it expressed in? What symptoms characterize it?
Our personal assessment of ourselves can manifest itself:
- a feeling of our own inferiority;
- the presence of feelings of guilt;
- the realization that life is unfair;
- that people around you do not appreciate, do not like, use, etc. ;
- your choice is certainly bad - not the right profession, not the right partner, while you, as a rule, do not change anything in your life, you prefer to suffer in silence and terrorize your acquaintances with this; nine0066
- you know for sure that you deserve more and better, but for some reason, of course, beyond your control, you don’t have this, which accordingly causes suffering, acceptance of the bitter truth of life, constant dissatisfaction with yourself;
- you are envious, constantly comparing yourself with others;
- it is difficult for you to make a choice: for example, in a store, buying clothes, groceries; you are indecisive, often buy things, and then rent them out;
- someone else's opinion is the ultimate truth for you. nine0066
Even the presence of 1-2 of the above signs indicates that you have problems with self-esteem. And this is "greetings from childhood", from beloved parents who, out of the best of intentions, were constantly dissatisfied with you: your figure, behavior, habits, schooling. And today, having become adult uncles and aunts, you continue to dislike yourself. You look at yourself in the mirror through the eyes of your mother, who, instead of complimenting, poked you with her nose at the fact that you are overweight, face like your father, too tall/short, and so on. If adults were looking for flaws in you, now you are doing it. nine0003 Photo: www.globallookpress.com
Most likely, as a child you realized that in order to be loved, you need to please something, do something in order to change your opinion about you. After all, how can you just love someone who looks like a father, stoops, makes mistakes, doesn’t study well enough and, in principle, does not meet any standards. But if you match, then they will definitely love it!
In the head of a person with low self-esteem, there is no concept of unconditional love. You must either suffer or deserve love - there is no other way. This is the model of relationships that people pull with them into adulthood, where a huge number of disappointments await them. nine0003
Why do we say low self-esteem is always a bad choice in love. Because a person with low self-esteem most often behaves insincerely in a relationship. He constantly pretends because he needs to conform all the time to be loved. Low self-esteem pushes women to turn a blind eye to any, sometimes even boorish attitude towards themselves: forgiveness of betrayal, drunkenness, beatings. Women live for years with men who offend, humiliate, beat them, and at the same time manage to justify them and do not leave - what if no one else looks at them and wants to ... Divorce?! What will people say? In such families, women are more worried about what people think or say than about the fact that they are actually very unhappy. nine0003 Photo: www.globallookpress.com
Low self-esteem is a huge psychological problem that can lead to very unpleasant consequences, among which an unsettled personal life will be "flowers" compared to prolonged depression or long treatment after a beating. If you clearly understand that you have this problem, immediately take care of yourself. Of course, self-acceptance does not happen at the snap of a finger and after reading smart books (nevertheless, reading is very useful). Start at least small. nine0003
Let the first thing on this path be self-understanding. So ask yourself questions: do you like what you do / eat / watch and so on. If not, then why do you keep doing it? Allow yourself to do what you really enjoy. Respect your desires, indulge yourself and go on about yourself. Second - stop pretending to be a victim of circumstances: a person who loves himself cannot be pathetic. You are not a victim, you are the master or mistress of your own life. Don't complain to others and don't feel sorry for yourself! If you really don’t like something in your life, for example, your relationship with a partner, it’s not at all necessary to immediately leave, slamming the door – learn to negotiate. It is enough to tell a person once that you do not like it for him to understand and change. If you see that nothing is happening, then it is up to you to accept this situation or not. nine0003
Do not be afraid to break off toxic relationships with a partner, acquaintances, colleagues. If you feel uncomfortable communicating with someone, stop raping yourself, just put an end to it. No need to mock yourself for the sake of some higher goals - children, apartments, money. Admit to yourself honestly: after all, you do not endure this because of the children, but because you are afraid to be left alone. Is it better to endure humiliation? Are you really ready to be offended and humiliated for the sake of fear of being alone with yourself?Photo: www.globallookpress.com nine0002 In my practice, there was a case: a client who consulted on the development of his business had one bad habit - he liked to drink, and quite seriously. Let's face it, he had a problem. However, he was in a relationship. The girl with whom he lived together suffered greatly from his drunkenness, she asked him to quit, threatened that he would leave, they constantly cursed. Nevertheless, despite the fact that she was absolutely not satisfied with his drinking, she put up with him. Why? Because of love? No, of course, because of low self-esteem. She endured, was comfortable, caved in to the last, did not go anywhere, suffered, because for her suffering was identical to love - love must be earned. In the end, they broke up on his initiative: the companion got her tantrums. He met another girl, who once saw him in a drunken state, turned around and just left. The guy stopped drinking and married this girl. Because you can only love a person who, first of all, loves and appreciates himself. nine0003
You can't fall in love for having completed a course in sex arts. No one will love a woman because she cooks borscht cool. A person who allows himself to be treated badly will not be loved for this either. In general, it is impossible to make someone love themselves by bending, forgiving and swallowing tears. They love you for your individuality, the presence of character and for the fact that you are who you are - special, unique, imperfect, but at the same time you can make borscht, and look through your fingers at some kind of "jamb", because you yourself too " "jambs" is enough.