How to reframe negative thoughts

Strategies for Reframing Negative Thoughts

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by negative thoughts, you’re not alone. Many people’s psychological and emotional well-being has suffered during the coronavirus pandemic.

In December 2021, 3 in 10 Americans surveyed by the National Center for Health Statistics reported symptoms of anxiety or depression. That figure was an increase from 1 in 10 in December 2019.

Negative thinking can hinder your ability to function in everyday life when it becomes habitual. That’s why taking steps to reframe your thoughts is vital to improving your health and happiness.

This blog will introduce you to some of the most effective strategies for reframing negative thoughts into positive thinking.

If you are in crisis, get immediate help:

• Call 911
• Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for English or 1-888-628-9454 for Spanish
• Call or text the Disaster Distress Helpline at 1-800-985-5990 (press 2 for Spanish).

What is Negative Thinking?

Negative thinking involves having thoughts “characterized by negative perceptions, expectations and attributions” about yourself, other people or the world around you.

Anyone can experience negative thinking, especially during stressful times. Even the most optimistic people have negative thoughts.

The coronavirus pandemic has had a major effect on our lives—from isolating from loved ones to balancing work and child care. As a result, you may be facing more stress and negative thoughts than usual.

Over time, habitual negative thinking can lead to adverse emotions and health outcomes. It is linked to anxiety, depression and many other mental health disorders.

Fortunately, you can take steps to reframe your negative thoughts—both independently and with the help of a mental health professional.

Reframing negative thoughts into positive thinking has numerous health benefits. According to the Mayo Clinic, positive thinking can:

• Increase your lifespan.
• Lower your risk of depression.
• Improve your cardiovascular health.
• Provide better coping skills during stressful times.

Read more about coping with isolation.

How to Reframe Negative Thoughts?

The process of reframing negative thoughts takes time. But with practice, you can develop a more positive outlook on challenging situations in your life.

Step #1: Identify Your Negative Thinking

When negative thinking persists, you may not be aware of it. So reframing negative thoughts starts with learning how to recognize them.

There are several types of negative thinking, including:

• Filtering: Focusing exclusively on the negative parts of a situation and disregarding the positive.
• Personalizing: Seeing yourself as the sole cause of negative events.
• Catastrophizing: Automatically anticipating the worst outcome.
• Polarizing: Viewing circumstances as good or bad with no middle ground.

Keep these forms of negative thinking in mind as you go about your day. When you have a negative thought, consider how it fits in these categories.

Becoming more aware of negative thinking will help you start to reframe your thoughts.

Step #2: Determine the Thoughts to Reframe

The next step in reframing negative thoughts is to decide which negative thoughts you want to change. 

Think about the area of your life that attracts the most negative thinking. Is it your job? A relationship?

Focus on reframing negative thoughts one area at a time. This approach can make your shift to positive thinking more comfortable and effective.

Step #3: Reframe Your Thoughts

There are many techniques for reframing negative thoughts into positive thinking.

Two of the most effective are positive reframing and examining the evidence. These can help shift your interpretation of a negative situation and your feelings about it.

Positive Reframing

Positive reframing means finding the upside in a difficult situation. Think about a challenging time in your life, and then ask yourself about a benefit or lesson learned from the experience.

For example, imagine that you miss a deadline at work. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts about yourself, you find the upside of the situation.

Perhaps the miss allows you to speak with your manager about your workload. Or maybe you use the situation to clarify with your manager about how to communicate your progress.

By finding the benefits of this challenging scenario, you can use it as a learning opportunity rather than a reason to question your self-worth.

Examining the Evidence

Examining the evidence is another way to reframe your thoughts into positive thinking. This technique involves analyzing “the evidence for your interpretation of a situation.”

Consider a possible scenario that you think negatively about. Now ask yourself these questions:

• How likely is it that the negative scenario will happen?
• How often has the negative scenario occurred in the past?
• What is the worst possible outcome of the negative scenario?
• How likely is the worst possible outcome likely to happen? Can you handle it if it does?

Your answers to these questions can help you face challenges with more balanced thinking.

Like any skill, reframing negative thoughts takes practice. When you notice a negative thought, use these strategies to reframe it and make positive thinking a habit.

Check out SBU's Online Master's in Mental Health Counseling

How Do Clinical Mental Health Counselors Help With Reframing Negative Thoughts?

Another way to reframe your thoughts is to work with a licensed clinical mental health counselor (CMHC). CMHCs evaluate and treat mental, behavioral and emotional problems and disorders in individuals, families and groups.

The qualifications of licensed CMHCs include:

• A minimum of a master’s degree in counseling from an accredited college or university.
• Completion of at least 3,000 hours of post master’s degree supervised clinical experience.
• Passage of the national licensed professional counselor exam.
• Adherence to a code of ethics and recognized standards of practice.

You can find a CMHC near you using Psychology Today’s online directory.

A CMHC can help you with reframing negative thoughts through various types of psychotherapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is among the most effective.

What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)?

CBT is a form of psychotherapy that guides people to think in healthier ways. It’s ideal for people with mental health disorders, such as anxiety and depression, and anyone who wants to think more positively during stressful times.

CBT explores the relationships between your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. It will uncover your thought patterns and their links to any self-destructive behaviors or beliefs.

Using CBT to become aware of inaccurate or negative thinking allows you to view and respond to challenging situations more effectively.

Another benefit of CBT is that it can help reframe your thoughts quickly. CBT is goal-oriented and, therefore, usually requires fewer sessions than other types of therapy.

How CBT Works

A licensed CMHC can guide you through CBT for reframing negative thoughts. They will tailor their approach to your specific situation.

No matter your goals, you will be encouraged to talk about your thoughts and feelings during sessions with your CMHC. A CMHC may also assign outside activities, reading or other practices to support your therapy sessions.

Generally, CBT consists of four steps. You will:

1. Identify the situation troubling you, such as having recurrent negative thoughts. Your therapist will ask you about your concerns and symptoms.
2. Gain a deeper understanding of your thoughts, emotions and beliefs. You will explore the different ways you respond to certain challenges in your life.
3. Identify problematic thinking patterns. In addition to talking with your therapist, you may be asked to keep a journal of your troubling thoughts.
4. Reshape your negative or inaccurate thinking. Your therapist will help you change your perceptions and habits to support more positive thinking.

CBT is generally a short-term therapy. But it will still take time to reframe your thoughts positively. If you are open with your CMHC, follow their guidance and stick to your treatment plan, you can make lasting improvements to your way of thinking.

Prepare To Help Those Struggling With Mental Health Issues

It’s normal to experience negative thinking. The coronavirus pandemic and its lasting effects may be one of the most stressful situations you have ever faced. Fortunately, the strategies shared in this blog can help reframe your thoughts and improve your overall well-being.

The pandemic’s toll on mental health has created an enormous need for mental health professionals. If you’re passionate about helping people, you can make a meaningful difference by becoming a licensed CMHC.

St. Bonaventure University offers a CACREP-accredited online Master of Science in Education – Clinical Mental Health Counseling that provides a supportive pathway to licensure. The program is delivered 100% online in a dynamic virtual environment, combining flexibility, quality and value. Through engaging coursework and in-field practice understand the specific needs of communities and populations, and gain strategies to improve their outcomes through a variety of counseling practices, including crisis counseling, addiction counseling, research methods and more.

As a student in St. Bonaventure’s online MSED Clinical Mental Health Counseling program, you will:

• Prepare to meet all the requirements of a licensed professional counselor. At St. Bonaventure, 95% of program graduates pass the licensed professional counselor exam.
• Receive dedicated support from enrollment through graduation. You will get guidance and assistance from your student support advisor, and internship placement coordinator who will find sites in your local area.
• Embark on an educational path that combines quality and affordability. St. Bonaventure is ranked as a Top 5 Best Value School by the U.S. News & World Report.

Are you ready to start your career helping those struggling with mental health issues?

Learn about SBU's Online Master's in Mental Health Counseling

"I'm a loser, my life is a swamp": how to learn to change negative attitudes

The creator of the Brainhack. me blog explains what cognitive distortions are and how to deal with them.

Why can't I do anything? Nobody understands me. I upset people. I can't start doing anything. I'm lazy. My life is a swamp. I am a loser. I will never succeed. There is nothing worthwhile in this life. I can never finish anything. If I don't get this job, I'm done for. I have to take responsibility. I must be courageous. If I worked hard, it would be fair to raise my salary. He thinks I'm a loser. I should be grateful. My future is bleak. It's easy for me, so it doesn't count. I must be feminine. I can't communicate with people. I always have. I can, of course, try, but it's a waste of time, I won't succeed. If they ask, I must help. Refusing is not good. I must not lose my temper. I have to do everything quickly. I have to be original. People must be fair. nine0003

Did you find your thoughts among these proposals and can you add to the list? These are automatic thoughts - people's inner statements about themselves. They are called by the inner voice. They appear in the head involuntarily, in contrast to arbitrary thoughts - balanced decisions.

Why is there a feeling that these automatic thoughts come from nowhere? The fact is that they are fragments of our basic beliefs - certain rules of life, a set of which each of us collects on our own consciously and unconsciously all our lives, and especially at an early age. With the help of such rules, we evaluate our experience, interpret reality. Some of them simplify our everyday life, and the other part, usually larger, on the contrary, complicates our life. Beliefs that prevent us from living are called erroneous and dysfunctional. And the only advantage of these beliefs is that they can be changed. nine0003

These beliefs can be accessed by monitoring your automatic thoughts and then analyzing them. It usually takes a lot of time and effort to find them and make life easier. The most effective way to do this is with a psychologist, but in this article, you will learn about the main dysfunctional beliefs and cognitive errors that cause us to continue to believe in them. After that, you can at least begin to notice the moments when thinking is wrong.

Getting Started

The problem is that we often hold on to our beliefs even if we haven't articulated them. People are often surprised when, in contemplating their behavior, they finally articulate these rules to themselves. It happens that it is difficult to formulate them, even when such a task is set. Many of these rules are arbitrary and biased. Roughly speaking, we either invented them ourselves, or “without looking” picked them up from people significant to us. For example, the childish “behave well, otherwise dad will be angry” can be absorbed and transformed into the belief that you must always behave “good”, otherwise people will not accept you, although it can be difficult for a person guided by this attitude to even formulate that it means "good". You can also easily confuse thoughts and facts: a colleague passed by with some kind of facial expression, but the thought already ran that he treats you badly. nine0003

Since those very deep, basic beliefs are formulated in extreme terms, they lead to extreme conclusions. The train of thought runs non-stop from the unstated belief “if I am not loved, I am a nonentity” through the conjecture “he/she does not love me” to the final station “I am a nonentity”. In this form, we, alas, do not notice this route, but only “enjoy” the result obtained at the final station.

Aaron Beck, one of the founders of the cognitive direction in psychology, in the late 70s of the last century, brought out a list of maladaptive beliefs. Here are some of them:

To be happy, you must always succeed

To be happy, you need everyone to love you

If I make a mistake, it will mean that I am stupid me, that means he doesn't like me

My human dignity depends on what others think of me

It may sound not scary, even familiar - how many times have we said or thought this ourselves or heard from the lips of interlocutors. But, in fact, this is a serious matter: in addition to a bad mood, such thoughts, deeply and firmly planted in the head, can cause depression. nine0003

His colleague Albert Ellis groups irrational attitudes into a list of four items:

Catastrophe. How extreme do you perceive various unfavorable events

Obligation towards yourself. What do you think you should and shouldn't do

Duties towards others. What do you think other people should and shouldn't do

Appraisal attitude. How do you rate yourself and others

By the way, you can test your propensity for these irrational attitudes by passing the Ellis test by honestly answering 50 questions. nine0003

The only trouble is that it is impossible to stop following one's irrational attitudes. It is easy for people to continue to believe in illogical maladaptive beliefs due to cognitive errors. Understanding how they confuse us will help you start changing your mindset little by little.

Cognitive Errors

Catastrophe: "If it doesn't work out, it will be the end of the world"

You believe that something extremely bad can happen to you. That what is happening is terrible and unbearable so much that you will not be able to cope with it, or that this event will destroy your life once and for all. When people are under the influence of this attitude, we evaluate a certain future event as inevitable and irreparable. nine0003

Marker words: “catastrophe”, “nightmare”, “horror”, “end of the world” and synonyms

What to do: Replace an extremely negative assessment of the situation with one closer to reality, back it up with facts. Answer the questions “What is the worst thing that can happen?”, “What will happen if this happens?”, “What will be the consequences of the most terrible development of events?” and analyze the answers, think over a plan of action and prepare for even the worst outcomes.

Predicting the future: “I won’t succeed”

Other examples: “I will fail this exam”, “I won’t get this job”, “Yes, but what if I lose my breath?”

You "predict" the future most often in a negative way: things will get worse, some kind of danger awaits you. By this very attitude, you subtly reinforce future failure by allowing small and large actions to follow that lead to failure. In fact, in this case, we are also dealing with an erroneous assessment: we downplay or exaggerate the likelihood of events and their consequences, which is why we worry and put ourselves into a stupor. A variation can be a transfer of past experience to the future, reinforced by the logical fallacy “true once, true always”, for example, “I just didn’t succeed, so it won’t work the second time.” nine0003

Marker words: “what if”, “what if”, “but maybe”

What to do: Our opinion about the future is not the future itself. This is just one of the hypotheses that should be tested logically or experimentally. Find logical errors in your thinking. Write down all the factors that can affect the outcome of events, and think about how you can influence them and reduce risks.

Duty: "They shouldn't act like this"

Other examples: “I must look perfect”, “People must be fair”, “Government must take care of education”

You believe that you owe something to others or that other people owe you something. Or do you owe something global and inanimate: the world, government or nature? The trap here lies in the very word “should”, because it means “only this way and nothing else”, that is, without alternative options. And there are almost always alternatives. In other words, “I must breathe” sounds reasonable, but “people must be fair” or “I must be friendly” can already be disassembled into many alternatives. nine0003

Such an attitude of duty inevitably leads to stress, especially when something will remind you of this duty, and something will prevent you from fulfilling it. Often this is prevented by circumstances, or the duty is formulated in such a way that it is generally impossible or unlikely to be fulfilled.

Another way to get stressed is to think that other people owe you something. For example, they must behave in a certain way. Remember how often people behave exactly as you intended? nine0003

Marker words: “should”, “must”, “should”, “must not”, “should not”, “must not”, “must”, “by all means”, etc. P.

What to do: It is useful to replace the word "must" with the word "want": "I want you to be there at 8.00." Or decipher the meaning: “If you want this, then come at 8.00” - and remember that other people are not aware of your expectations until you tell them about it, and it’s generally somewhat problematic to tell the whole world at once. nine0003

Maximalism: “Everything is only of the highest standard”

Other examples: “I give my best”, “As a perfectionist I can’t…”

A particular and extreme case of this attitude is perfectionism. Setting the highest possible standards for yourself and / or other people and using them as a benchmark for determining the value of what is happening or the person, both your own and colleagues, friends or strangers from the Internet.

Bullet words: “to the maximum”, “only excellent”, “one hundred percent”, “100%”

What to do: It would seem clear that you should not compare your first pencil sketch with fragments of the Sistine Chapel mural, but it doesn't come from it. To make it all the same, come up with a Minimum Viable Product, a “minimum viable result” that will perform the intended function. Implement it first, then polish it until you hit a deadline (if you want). nine0003

Dichotomous thinking: "He is a bad person"

Another example: "Either I do it perfectly, or not at all" "sinful - righteous", "ideal - imperfect". Thinking in extremes, when all events that are actually multifaceted are evaluated as one-dimensional and mutually exclusive.

Bullet words: "Either - or", "either yes or no", "either - or"

What to do: Any event can be evaluated through the prism of many factors. What do you mean when you say "This person is good"? Is he a great specialist or friendly with you? Attentive father or sympathetic neighbor? At times when you find yourself thinking dichotomously, try to make lists of traits against which you can assess the situation, if necessary. Or just refuse to evaluate.

Personalization: "It's all because of me"

Other examples: "They are definitely whispering about me", "Everyone is looking at me", "It's my fault that the child does not study well"

Craving to tie events with their own personality, even when there is no reason for this, or interpret events in terms of personal meanings. It is also possible to attribute blame to oneself for events that do not completely depend on a person, or do not depend at all.

Bullet words: pronouns “I”, “me”, “me”, “me” and the like

What to do: Specify for yourself the criteria for measuring the attention of others, find objective ways to check whether everyone's attention is really riveted on you. Identify the possible causes of adverse events that make you worry and anticipate the risks. If you are accustomed to putting all the blame on yourself, make a list of the causes of the problem and evaluate your contribution to each item on a scale from 0 to 100. For each of the items, select alternative reasons - in addition to "it's because of me." nine0003

Overgeneralization: "I'm always like this"

Other examples: "I never succeed", "You're always late", "No one needs me"

Overgeneralization is the derivation of a general rule based on one or more individual episodes. Suppose you tried to do something, the first time it didn’t work out - and you formulate “if it didn’t work out right away, then it will never work out.” In other words, "if something is true in one case, it is true in all other cases." nine0003

Another way to get caught overgeneralizing is to grossly generalize a few recurring cases, such as telling a colleague that he is "always late" when in fact he is "often" because he was always on time last week. Or, after not being invited to parties for a while, tell yourself "I'm never invited anywhere."

Marker words: all, nobody, nothing, everywhere, nowhere, never, always, forever, always

What to do: First of all, consciously monitor the specified marker words and categoricalness in judgments in general. Try to describe what is happening more precisely: not “always”, but “the last two meetings”; not “all”, but “Petya and Masha”; not “never”, but “since the beginning of the month”. It is also helpful to reformulate your automatic thought. For example, "I feel like I'm not needed" could become "I last saw my friends a couple of months ago" and could be supplemented by the planned action "I need to call and make an appointment." nine0003

Mind reading: "They thought I was an idiot"

Other examples: "He thinks I can't do it", "She can't stand me"

People can't read minds, but easily attributing unspoken opinions to other people. A sullen look, a quiet sigh or an unexpected smile, and you already understood everything: “he wants to fire me”, “he thinks I'm a loser!”. Following this - hours, days, weeks or a lifetime of your experiences. Meanwhile, one of the few ways to find out what the other person is thinking is to ask him or her about it. nine0003

Marker words: "he thinks," she thinks, "they think"

What to do: Do not allow yourself to read minds. Clarify what people had in mind and especially not draw any conclusions in connection with the “read thoughts”.

Selective abstraction: “My whole life is a routine”

Examples: “I live a boring life”, “Nothing makes me happy”

In the case of selective abstraction, you almost completely focus on negative experiences and rarely notice positive - or you don't notice it at all. You easily remember how “nothing is happening to you” or how “nothing makes you happy”, but you forget to mention that sincere conversation with friends, a new project at work, or about emotions from your favorite track suddenly playing on the radio. nine0003

What to do: Try keeping a self-observation diary of your joys and successes. Every day, write down what happened to you, what pleased you, what you did and how you felt at that moment. Make these records only for yourself, do not show anyone and do not hesitate to enjoy any little things.

Other useful things to know

It is worth accustoming yourself to confronting any of your beliefs with the help of logic and experiments. Even the ones that seem harmless. Track your automatic thoughts and check the list of attitudes and cognitive errors described above. Formulate a rational alternative belief. After that, you can already check it in reality - conduct experiments and act differently than they acted before. nine0003

The process will require effort: most likely, you will have to take actions that will seem unacceptable and even dangerous. And then make sure that the results of these actions will be different than the inner rule told you and, most likely, not as scary as you thought.

The inner voice will whisper: “Now is not the best time to start, let's do it another time, especially since there is such and such a reason not to do it . ..” But remember: this is your experiment. Cling to this conscious decision of yours. It is normal to be afraid and worry in such situations. Rather, it would be even strange not to be afraid - after all, you will violate the rules by which you have existed for years. With each repetition of the experiment, it will become easier. And if you feel that you can’t cope on your own, remember that you can always turn to a psychologist. nine0003

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5 exercises to change your life And after this inevitably comes the thought of how I would like to live. We can choose a lot: where to work, with whom to communicate, where to go, with whom to live, what to do in a particular situation. And every choice we make affects how our life will be. But choice is responsibility. Responsibility for your actions, feelings and thoughts. nine0003

In my psychotherapeutic practice I use a valuable rule: "Thoughts - Feelings - Actions". If you apply it in life, then creating each new day will be much easier. What is thought? These are unspoken words that are born in our mind. After the birth of a thought, it becomes possible to make a choice: which thought should be thrown out of the head, and which one should be left - negative or positive. It is from this choice that depends on what feelings we will experience further. Any thought continues in feelings. The negative thought “He didn’t call, so he doesn’t care about me” leads to negative feelings: “I’m scared, hurt, sad.” The continuation of these feelings is the action: "I will call him myself and express everything I think." nine0003

It is according to this algorithm that we shape our life in all spheres: in relations with others, in work, in relation to ourselves, to money, and health. Absolutely everything starts with a thought, and if we learn to make the right choice in the direction of positive thinking, we will very quickly notice how our life changes.

Step #1. We change statements. A colleague of mine once said: “In psychology, it is very important to ask competent questions to the client. The result depends on it. The question we ask will determine the answer." I am convinced that we all need to learn how to ask competent questions to ourselves. If you learn to ask: “How do I feel now?”, “Do I feel good or bad?”, “Why am I feeling this way now?”, “What emotions are prevailing inside me right now?”, “I would like to feel better ?”, then you will get to know yourself better. nine0003

The more we think about how terrible our life is, the worse it gets. The more we talk about difficulties, the more difficult it will be for us

It is important to remember that the power that helps us overcome any obstacles is within us. How we use power depends on our thoughts and statements. The power of thought controls actions. It's the only thing we can control. And choosing thoughts and statements, we choose a certain life.

Affirmations are attitudes that we have adopted from significant people in our childhood, adolescence, or adulthood. For example, a father from childhood claimed: “You are a bad girl, you behave badly and because of this they will not be friends with you.” As a result, the matured girl is convinced that in order to have friends, she must be “good” for everyone and try to please everyone. But she still has no friends - there are only those who use her. She is lonely and unhappy. Affirmations change the way we think. From what thoughts are formed in our mind to a greater extent, the life experience that we form for ourselves depends. nine0003

What do we do with negative statements that have taken root in our minds? They need to be changed, converted. How? Write down on a piece of paper all the negative statements about life and relationships that you have heard from significant people. Next to each negative statement, write a positive statement. For example: “Everyone in our family was a loser, and you will not achieve anything in life” is converted into a positive statement: “I am wise and quick-witted. I can do everything. My life is filled with success." It is important to say statements in the present tense, not in the future. Read all the positive statements you have written out loud every day for a week (or more) until you begin to truly believe in them. nine0003

Affirmations should be surrounded by positive thoughts. The more we think about how terrible our life is, the worse it gets. The more we talk about difficulties, the more difficult it will be for us. Change your thoughts, your approach, and the very life around you will change.

Step #2. We neutralize stress. Stress paralyzes us, prevents us from thinking positively, prevents us from feeling life and moving forward. Sometimes we justify our failures or laziness with this state. How to overcome this obstacle? You need to understand what stress really is:

• fear of change
• inability to determine life priorities
• shifting responsibility for the inability to control one's feelings to other people
• negative thoughts and wrong atmosphere in the current situation

Everyone knows that yoga helps to restore the harmony of body and soul. Everyone knows that with the help of breathing we can calm the nerves and put our thoughts in order. Breathing is the first physical action that helps with stress. Start breathing deeply, do it consciously, focus on each inhalation and exhalation. Imagine how air enters the lungs, how it exits. Such focusing helps to switch the mind from negative thoughts to neutral ones, and then concentrate on converting into positive thoughts. When the breath evens out and the head becomes free, ask yourself: “What am I afraid of, what scares me so much?” nine0003

Stress is fear, and we need to find and say its cause: “My strength is inside me, my world takes care of me, I have no fear, I am not afraid of anything, I create a harmonious, happy life.” Repeat these affirmations until you feel peace and joy. Do not accept the word "stress", do not justify internal and external tension with it. Remember that you are the master of your life, your thoughts, feelings and actions. And it is only in your power to accept stress or to refuse it, in your power to feel sorry for yourself and become depressed or to refuse it and think positively. nine0003

When positive thoughts appear in our minds, our level of self-satisfaction increases.

Learn to create thoughts that will make you happy. Happiness tends to attract love and kindness into life. There are a lot of affirmations that will help redirect thoughts in a stressful situation. You can come up with them yourself, based on a few examples: “I am free from all fears, there is no place for stress in my world”, “I am successful and fearless, every day I feel more secure”, “I am calm, I am balanced, I am filled with love and kindness”, “I have excellent relationships with friends, relatives, colleagues. I am loved and appreciated." nine0003

Step #3. We learn self-respect. You will never appreciate and respect yourself if you think badly of yourself. Very often we say to ourselves: “You are not like everyone else”, “You are good for nothing”, “You do not have the courage for this”, “You must . ..”. When positive thoughts appear in our minds, we increase our level of satisfaction with ourselves and our actions. Therefore, statements like “I’m great”, “I’m an interesting person”, “I accept myself as I am, with all my advantages and disadvantages”, “I don’t owe anything to anyone” help to “wake up” self-esteem. Self-esteem increases our self-confidence, and self-confidence contributes to the development of self-esteem. nine0003

There are several ways to work with self-respect. And these methods are very effective: they return to us the type of thinking that was characteristic of us in childhood, when we loved and accepted ourselves without conditions.

Write down on a piece of paper all the negative statements about yourself as a person that you have heard from significant people. Next to each negative statement, write a positive one. Say them as often as possible. Here are some universal positive affirmations that will boost your self-esteem: “I love myself. I am perfect”, “I feel good about myself. I am worthy of love”, “I accept myself for who I am, here and now”, “I have a developed sense of self-worth”, “My mind is filled with healthy, positive thoughts”, “I love myself without conditions”. nine0003

Step #4. We learn forgiveness. Can a person feel happy if he is full of bitterness, anger, resentment? Voluntarily agreeing to sit in the "well of resentment", we will never get out of the sad darkness. Sadness, anxiety, fear, pain, guilt, resentment, anger... if we can't part with these feelings, then we don't want to let them go. Moreover, it means that we are comfortable in a dark, resentful life. We ourselves suffer the most from this, and not the person who once offended us. Even if it happened recently, it is already in the past. Only the present can become the foundation for our future. nine0003

To forgive an offender does not mean to justify his misbehavior. Forgiveness is a conscious action. It frees us from negative energy. We have a choice: we can continue to live in resentment, or we can start a new happy life. No matter how serious the offense, no matter how severe the trauma, living in the past is not the best choice.

How to overcome the unwillingness or inability to forgive someone? Take a piece of paper and write: “I, (your name), forgive you, (name of the offender). I forgive you for the pain you caused me. I forgive you, (name of the offender), and free you and myself from this feeling. I forgive you. I forgive you. I forgive you". For 5 days, read this affirmation as often as possible until you feel peace and joy. nine0003

To be successful, you need to act. This is not a superpower - this is a decision that each of us can make

Step #5. Learn to attract success. For many people, success is a continuous movement towards something more, towards expanding the comfort zone, towards constant growth and understanding of relationships with oneself and the outside world. We make the mistake of saying to ourselves, “I know that successful people are gifted people who have superpowers that I don’t have.

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