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When no one cares


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  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.

    Also visit the online treatment locator.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.

The service is open 24/7, 365 days a year.

English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.

In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.

The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.

The service is confidential. We will not ask you for any personal information. We may ask for your zip code or other pertinent geographic information in order to track calls being routed to other offices or to accurately identify the local resources appropriate to your needs.

No, we do not provide counseling. Trained information specialists answer calls, transfer callers to state services or other appropriate intake centers in their states, and connect them with local assistance and support.

  • Suggested Resources

    What Is Substance Abuse Treatment? A Booklet for Families
    Created for family members of people with alcohol abuse or drug abuse problems. Answers questions about substance abuse, its symptoms, different types of treatment, and recovery. Addresses concerns of children of parents with substance use/abuse problems.

    It's Not Your Fault (NACoA) (PDF | 12 KB)
    Assures teens with parents who abuse alcohol or drugs that, "It's not your fault!" and that they are not alone. Encourages teens to seek emotional support from other adults, school counselors, and youth support groups such as Alateen, and provides a resource list.

    After an Attempt: A Guide for Taking Care of Your Family Member After Treatment in the Emergency Department
    Aids family members in coping with the aftermath of a relative's suicide attempt. Describes the emergency department treatment process, lists questions to ask about follow-up treatment, and describes how to reduce risk and ensure safety at home.

    Family Therapy Can Help: For People in Recovery From Mental Illness or Addiction
    Explores the role of family therapy in recovery from mental illness or substance abuse. Explains how family therapy sessions are run and who conducts them, describes a typical session, and provides information on its effectiveness in recovery.

    For additional resources, please visit the SAMHSA Store.

Last Updated: 08/30/2022

SAMHSA Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator

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Welcome to the Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator, a confidential and anonymous source of information for persons seeking treatment facilities in the United States or U.S. Territories for substance use/addiction and/or mental health problems.

PLEASE NOTE: Your personal information and the search criteria you enter into the Locator is secure and anonymous. SAMHSA does not collect or maintain any information you provide.

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The Locator is authorized by the 21st Century Cures Act (Public Law 114-255, Section 9006; 42 U.S.C. 290bb-36d). SAMHSA endeavors to keep the Locator current. All information in the Locator is updated annually from facility responses to SAMHSA’s National Substance Use and Mental Health Services Survey (N-SUMHSS). New facilities that have completed an abbreviated survey and met all the qualifications are added monthly. Updates to facility names, addresses, telephone numbers, and services are made weekly for facilities informing SAMHSA of changes. Facilities may request additions or changes to their information by sending an e-mail to [email protected], by calling the BHSIS Project Office at 1-833-888-1553 (Mon-Fri 8-6 ET), or by electronic form submission using the Locator online application form (intended for additions of new facilities).

Nobody cared about me, nobody cares now

Requests for helpWrite your story

I'm ugly because I'm not Russian. I have a very ugly face, flat, narrow little eyes, and a flat torso. I am very similar to a monkey, lower jaw, small stature, unpleasant voice. I saved up for plastic surgery, but when I went to the clinic, it turned out that it was not enough, more than half the amount. Where to get? When I save up, I will be under 50 years old. My grandmother-neighbor always shouts to me when she sees, leave Russia, get out of here and out. And where to? I was born here, and I don’t know any language other than Russian, although I’m slowly learning English, because it’s international. I want to sell the housing that I have in the province from my parents, so that I have money for the road and the first time of my stay, and go to the South Caucasus or China or somewhere else. nine0003

if there is a God, I have many questions for him. A music teacher about ten years ago told me that whoever had it bad before will be fine later. And where? I now see that this is not true.

why wasn't I born beautiful? or at least the usual one. There is no justice, and God does not care about me. God, fate and society do not give a damn about beautiful and successful people, and we are scrapped.

why the neighbor is age-old, smokes, drinks, sleeps with men, has abortions almost every year, while she has a good loving mother, protects her, pampers, takes care of her, whore. And I don’t sleep with anyone, I don’t even communicate, I don’t drink, and my mother died of drunkenness, she drank, and I went to college hungry, washed the porches. Nobody cared about me and nobody cares now. nine0003

and I don't and won't have a family, because I'm ugly, I don't want my husband to be with me out of pity. Now I plan to leave to work for a better salary, and I always want to live alone, or if it doesn’t work out, I will commit suicide.

I am writing and crying now. I want to lie on the floor and never get up

Altyn, age: 32 / 06/06/2017

Responses:

it's very hard when your loved ones drink, you didn't have the easiest childhood, it's bad when no one supports you. But as a rule, people love those who love them - try to forgive society and love it. It's hard for everyone. Everyone's life is painful in their own way, everyone carries their own cross. Try to really get a good job, and plastic surgery is quite often complicated, and it is better not to do it. Good make-up, hairstyle, elegant clothes and even the most ordinary girl will turn into a Hollywood star. Don't despair, life is a struggle. nine0003

Listener, age: 30 / 06/06/2017

Dear Altyn, you are a great fellow. live. Honey, everyone is beautiful in their own way, believe in yourself, dear. Not beauty is the main thing, but the inner beauty of a person, his inner qualities. Love yourself and accept who you are. The beauty of a person is determined by his inner state. Accept yourself and give yourself the opportunity to live dear. You must live dear. Life is beautiful, there are so many wonderful and joyful moments in life. from someone's opinions. Everything will be fine. There is a God and he loves you, and he wants you to live happily. How many torments God suffered to atone for our sins. He gave us this life and he will take it. Everything will be fine. Good luck to you ! nine0003

Anonymous, age: 25 / 06/06/2017

Dear Altyn, your name is golden. You are now talking like a small offended child, it is clear that you want protection and support. There is no single answer to your questions and you yourself understand this. Do not listen to your neighbor, if you take every word to heart, you will not live long. You have to filter everything people say. I agree that appearance is of great importance, but this does not prevent you from being a good person and finding what brings joy to you. About her husband: if there is a husband, then definitely not out of pity. There are no men who would marry out of pity. So don't doubt who will be with you. There are absolutely inexplicable marriages from an external point of view, and people are happy, and they somehow find each other. I understand that the pain that you experienced from all the hurtful words has accumulated in you ... You must learn to protect yourself from negativity. Those who are happy are happy not because there are no problems in their lives, but because they are able to cope and develop the right attitude towards what we cannot change. Strength and happiness to you, dear Altyn, take care of yourself. Everyone deserves love, remember that. nine0003

Anna , age: 36 / 06/07/2017

Hello Altyn. God is best to ask one question - how to learn to live with what you have? To each he sends those trials that are more useful and better for him. But everyone has trials. I was born a pretty little child, and quite quoted appearance. With age, becoming also cheerful, easy at the first communication. Here are your tests by fire, and I got copper pipes. How can you not get excited here? to turn up your nose from good guys, or not even slide down to what your neighbor came to (good from this the Lord saved upbringing))? And how many tears and groans were like you. That's the kind of thing life is. nine0015 Please hold on. It may very well be that someone will see your exotic beauty. She probably is, it's just that girls like to find fault with themselves, especially if the guys do not line up.
And you have a chance to reveal beauty much higher. It is revealed very simply - with care, real female concern for others, at least make a feeder, hang it outside the window. We have a woman who walks around the corner of the house and feeds stray cats every day. Very beautiful woman. The face is ruddy, glowing with happiness. That is the whole point of our suffering. Melt your heart no matter what. nine0003

Gata , age: 32 / 06/07/2017

Hello. In your opinion, all the beauties are happy and successful, but you didn’t think that they are often just used as beautiful dolls. But they take absolutely not bright women as wives. You need to stop complicating. Smile more often and be easy to communicate with. You can go to normal dating sites, such as Orthodox ones. Chat, meet. Look at the stars of show business, at famous athletes, etc., not beauties, but successful and happy in personal - Elena Borshcheva, Anastasia Grebenkina, Elena Khanga, Tatyana Totmyanina and others. You are no worse than others. Smart, responsible, without bad habits, these are all just pluses for you. Good luck. nine0003

Irina, age: 29 / 06/07/2017

Every person was created by God, and in every
sees individuality. I'm not handsome either
:-(bald) and what, spit on all the talk of the neighbors. When people insult others, they are
above all they want to hide their shortcomings,
these are not well-mannered people. Do not change
their appearance, because the beauty is inside
the man himself, and from the knife only a shell in
which the soul lives

Gray-haired, age: many / 06/07/2017

Dear Altyn, first of all you need to understand that beauty starts from within. Internal dissatisfaction with oneself is often reflected in the appearance of a person, especially on his face. You probably notice how not very nice people fascinate and attract people to themselves, they glow from the inside and a light always burns in their eyes. Their secret is that they tend to be satisfied with themselves and their appearance in general. Accept yourself and love. Everyone has shortcomings. But you can always brighten them up. Good luck to you! nine0003

Lily , age: 20 / 06/07/2017

Dear Altyn!
Although I have a Slavic appearance and I get compliments, I still do not consider myself beautiful. But I see a lot of girls around who look worse than me and who are much less shy about themselves. And every time I feel respect for them, because they find the strength to go through life without losing heart and accepting themselves as they are. We have not yet come out with you, unfortunately. But you need to try, the main thing is to accept yourself. I understand you very much, because I hate myself for many things, including appearance. You have a very strong hatred and rejection of yourself. The only way to get rid of it is to change. And for this you do not need to do plastic surgery. Just imagine a picture: you did this operation, but you still don’t like yourself, because the conflict remains inside you - you don’t accept yourself. The fact that you do not like your appearance is only a consequence of this conflict. After removing this shortcoming, there will be others. Now you need to change internally and not demand the impossible from yourself, soberly assess your shortcomings and ways to eliminate them. Learn to be more open to people, cheerful, cheerful, ready to help - and the attitude towards you will change, you'll see. Surely every time someone looks at you, distrust of this person is displayed on your face and it seems to you that he evaluates your appearance and comes to disappointing conclusions and the person immediately sees hidden hostility on your face, although, perhaps, he has and it wasn't in my mind. Think less about it, at least try, and it turns out that the world does not revolve around your appearance and people, for the most part, do not care, because everyone has their own problems. And an internally beautiful person and friend is what everyone needs. Be that person for others and people will be drawn to you. nine0015 Good luck, I believe in you! Do not give up, the struggle with yourself is the most difficult struggle, but also the most fruitful.

Daria, age: 21 / 06/07/2017

Altyn, you just need to study your psyche, learn how to protect your self-esteem and protect it. As long as your self-esteem depends on other people, it will not be stable, because more than some people will always merge their negativity. It is very important how you evaluate yourself. It all starts with self-esteem. If you are criticized, it does not mean that it applies to you. The psyche is a subjective view of objective reality. All events in life are neutral and not directed against us. You just need to understand the reason why people criticize. Chances are you were criticized a lot as a child. Our self-esteem is formed in childhood, based on the assessments of other people, parents, friends, etc. nine0003

Alexander, age: 26 / 01/17/2018


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Home Articles Question to a psychologist: no one wants to take care of me

Hello! I'm 26, I'm not a dumb, sociable, open girl, I actively spend time, I'm positive in communication, I'm satisfied, pretty and sexually liberated. I haven't been in a serious relationship in my entire life, six months at the most, but it just boiled down to meeting once a week for the sake of physical satisfaction. No one wants to take care of me, no one is interested in me as a person, no one makes plans with me. nine0023

You probably won't be able to help, but suddenly. I don't understand why stupid and ugly girls have good loving men and I'm left out.

Hello!

I heard in your letter your desire for a closer and more responsible relationship than you currently have ("No one wants to take care of me, no one is interested in me as a person, no one makes plans with me").

But at the same time, I took these lines as some contradiction of your need for intimacy: nine0003

- "sexually liberated";

“reduced to meeting once a week for physical satisfaction.”

I don't know what exactly you meant by sexual liberation. I can only say about my perception of these words, namely, that they do not fit with the question of attracting this type of man who will make plans for a woman, treat her seriously, take care and trust. At least in the early stages of a relationship, a liberated woman can scare a man who is interested in her or mislead him, and he will think that your relationship with him is not serious. nine0003

The first stage of a relationship is a meeting. The second is the stage of uncertainty. This is when the partners do not yet know, are not determined whether they like each other. It's such excitement, intrigue. Will he call me or won't he? Do I like him and do I want to meet him? The third stage is when the partners have decided in romantic sympathy for each other, and now they want to charm each other. The candy-bouquet period is coming. They try to please each other, to become desirable and meaningful to each other. And if these three stages are not passed by the couple, and there is too rapid rapprochement, then the relationship more often does not develop towards marriage or develops, but difficulties appear in the marriage that the spouses perceive as unbearable. Why save? There was no charm. There is no value in each other. nine0003

You asked about the stupid and ugly - I can assume that in their relationship with men, the number and quality of the stages are closer to what I wrote above. After all, despite the external unattractiveness of these women, their men, apparently, had enough time to discern, to notice something different in them, but very valuable for a long-term relationship.

Stupidity - depending on what you mean by stupidity, its absence in a woman, I think, is not an obstacle to a strong relationship. A woman may not be erudite enough, for example, but wise in her aspirations. She may not be beautiful, but next to her a man is comfortable and reliable. nine0003

As for you, ask yourself what do you really want? Proximity? Responsibility? Or an easy relationship? Why is it that if you want a serious relationship, then you agree to meetings for the sake of physical satisfaction?

And more. Remember. When you met a new man, how did you feel then? Observe yourself - are you suppressing your feelings by communicating with a new man? For example, feeling embarrassed. It happens that embarrassment causes such strong sensations that it becomes unbearable for the one who experiences it, and the person tries to suppress this feeling. For example, he seeks to quickly get closer to a new partner or not to look in his direction at all, but to look in the direction of a less exciting, less desirable person and attract his attention. In the second case, the relationship is doomed to be temporary. nine0003

It may turn out that a man, reading something in your behavior, makes the wrong conclusions about you, about the frivolity of your intentions towards him. That is, it may be wrong about you.

But these are only assumptions, each person is unique, and it is better to explore yourself in meetings with a psychotherapist.

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