What means selfish

At the very beginning of communication, it is sometimes impossible to understand that a person is selfish. This becomes clear only over time, when relationships develop, when common deeds, plans, goals appear.

In order not to lose time, not to contact an egoist, thereby harming himself, a person must be able to recognize someone who is indifferent to the feelings of others. He can do this if he pays attention to the words uttered by the interlocutor. Egoists very often utter several phrases.

I want

With the help of this phrase, a selfish person voices his desires, preferences. It seems to him that those around him should do everything he says, do everything the way he planned.

You owe everything to the Egoist.

. He will constantly remind people of this, reproach them for not fulfilling their obligations. Such an individual can come to the boss, demand a promotion, referring to the fact that he does not spare himself at work, he tries his best.

I don't like it

A selfish person will not endure discomfort for a minute. He won't stand in line with the others. The egoist will prefer to break into the office with the first cunning, deceit. He will take two parking spaces at once, without thinking that other motorists also need to stand somewhere. The egoist will go around the traffic jam on the side of the road, because it is not his status to waste his time waiting.

Don't criticize me

A selfish person can't stand remarks and criticism. If an egoist is pointed out to shortcomings in his work, to a stain on his shirt, then in response you can hear a huge number of unflattering words and insults. The egoist will try to present the interlocutor not in the best light, so as not to be criticized. nine0003

Look at my jacket

Egoists love compliments. To get them constantly, they will run up against them, draw the attention of others to changes in their appearance, thereby demanding praise. When compliments are given, the selfish person will enjoy them. When they finish enough, they start talking about other people's problems, the egoist will interrupt the conversation.

Do what I say

Selfish personalities like to command. They consider their point of view to be the only correct one, therefore they demand that others listen to them. An egoist can take leadership positions, but it will be very difficult for the team to work with him. nine0003

Did you say anything about it?

An egoist can listen to an interlocutor out of politeness, but everything he says will be forgotten very quickly. There is no carelessness here. This happens because the selfish individual thinks only about how to show himself in a favorable light, how to get the best possible result with the minimum amount of effort.

I am sure

An individual who is inherently selfish often talks about himself. In his speech there is only the pronoun "I". Such behavior annoys people, because no one wants to constantly talk about the same person. nine0003

You don't think about me

Everyone should think about a selfish person, everyone should satisfy his needs, take care of him. That's what the egoist thinks. He must always make a choice, he must manage other people's time. The use of this phrase confirms this.

If one of the above phrases once flashed in a conversation, then this does not mean anything. But if a person constantly repeats all the above expressions, then we can conclude that egoism is inherent in him. nine0003

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Egoism - Psychologos

January 01, 2006, 08:19

Film "N.

Film "Revolver"

Egoism - (from "I") - an attitude when a person thinks only (or mainly) about his personal interests and his own benefit, but does not think about the interests of others (or thinks last) . When everything connected with him seems more important or interesting to him. Often the name egoist is used simply as a negative label, demonstrating a negative attitude towards a person without serious grounds.

"An egoist is a bad person. This is a person who doesn't think about me all the time!" nine0003

Selfishness in modern culture is considered a natural, but not the most beautiful human manifestation, therefore, people like to present many really selfish actions and manifestations as not at all selfish, but manifesting their lofty feelings and motives. First of all, it concerns love. Love is not always selfish, but in its mass variants behind love there are, first of all, selfish motives.

Are people always selfish? - No. People are different, actions are different. The actions of many people are not selfish precisely because they are impulsive and automatic, and when performing them, a person does not think about his own interests and benefits precisely because he does not think about anything at all. The wind is not selfish, and the actions of many generally selfish girls are not selfish, because they have a wind in their heads ... But there is also no reason to say that every thinking person always takes care of himself only. Everything is more interesting and more difficult...

The priority of one's own interests over others', if it is just an automatic program, is not selfishness.

If such a priority happened without thinking, by accident, it is not about us, but about what sometimes happens to us. This is a moment of behavior, but not a personality trait.

A person is not so much what happens to him as what he does to himself, in what direction he changes himself. If a person allows himself this program of priority of his own interests over others, supports this program and defends this program, this is already a personality trait, this is already selfishness. nine0003

Egoism is different from egoism. Ethicotypes Parasite and Consumer are both egoists, but the attitude towards them is different. The consumer is an egoist, since he is only interested in him and he only cares about himself, but at the same time he lives on his own and takes care of himself, at his own expense, which removes most moral claims against him. Many of these Consumers are very likeable and well-respected people who bring great benefits to people and society. More often it happens when the egoism of the Consumer takes the form of reasonable egoism. nine0003

The main claims against egoists are connected with egoism performed by the Parasite - a person for whom it is natural to take care of himself at the expense of others. In this case, selfishness turns into an unattractive spectacle: anyone but me is to blame for what happened today, I am the most tired today, of course, and the salary must be paid to me first of all. Others are not human at all.

The opposite of egoism is not altruism, but the position of the Creator, when a person takes care of himself and other people. nine0003

Selfishness can be rational and irrational, without a head. In the first case, the egoist evaluates the possible consequences of his actions and acts in accordance with expediency. In the second case, the egoist acts impulsively and short-sightedly.

An egoist without a head is a funny and sad sight. He needs to get into the subway car, he stands across the door, tries to get in, they don’t let him in, because he has to get out first, he is sincerely indignant at this situation. Having reached his station, he, with no less sincerity, is indignant at the fact that they blocked the exit (the same as him) and do not allow him to pass. Behind such egoism is egocentrism - the inability and unaccustomed to understand the situation of other people. nine0003

A rational egoist does not always evoke sympathy, but usually evokes respect. Such a person realizes when, why and why he neglects the good of another person for his own. He understands that his strength, kindness, morality and ethics are not enough, in this situation "for everyone." Therefore, realizing the evil that he causes, he puts himself and his loved ones at the forefront. At the same time, he does not suffer from conscience, does not reflect and sleeps peacefully at night, not seeing nightmares.

Moral and ethical principles must be instilled in a rational egoist who has a head. It is useless to talk about ethics to an egoist without a head, he must first be taught to "look at himself from the third position." By the way, this may be enough. Another option is to simply teach them to behave decently. Let him remain headless as he was, but he will behave much better. nine0003

Selfishness is not the best human trait, but, if you do not take into account extreme options (the Parasite's selfishness), it is not the worst. In comparison with a thoughtless existence, when people do not think at all and may not even take care of themselves, reasonable egoism is more attractive and quite a worthy option. Thinking is good, taking care of yourself is right. At the same time, reasonable egoism is not the height of personality development, it has its limitations. If you have already learned to live like a reasonable egoist, take an interest in the position of the Creator: there are great advantages in this! nine0003

It is curious that in the Russian mentality expediency is practically a synonym for selfish, selfish behavior and is not honored as something "American". It is difficult for the average Russian layman to imagine that one can reasonably and consciously act not only for oneself, but also for someone else, so selfless actions are identified with actions “from the heart”, based on feelings, without a head.

A typical example: in the article "A Son Is Twelve: Raising Responsibility", a smart dad wrote how he cultivates in his son the habit of thinking "why" he does this or that. Commentary on this article: "I see an adult young man with a question, why should I take care of my parents, show respect for them, for what purpose? Now I am independent and I no longer need my parents. " nine0003

We responded to this comment like this: “Hmm. Do you think that parents can only be loved if for nothing, “without a head”? If parents really raised children, children have values, and not just needs, and children know how to already take care of worthy people. That is, about parents - in the first place, and precisely because the parents themselves set an example for them in this."

Self-love, selfishness and love for others

Self-love is not selfishness. If a person thinks about others and takes care of them, then his love for himself is in no way connected with egoism, it is easy and natural for him to love both himself and those around him. The reality, however, is that those who are preoccupied with self-love, at least at first, become more selfish - simply because the focus in this case begins to be paid to themselves. At the same time, love for oneself and love for others are connected. He who does not love himself is usually incapable of loving others. Love for others turns out to be richer and fuller if a person has the experience of self-love, and vice versa: self-love is honed, refined on the experience of love for other people. Only by learning to truly love other people does a person begin to love himself not blindly or crookedly, but attentively and intelligently. See → nine0003

• Egoism
• Author N.I. Kozlov
• Person
• Person
• Person and society
• Person, society

Comments (8):

Guest, 08 February 2014, 22:32

How far are we from the people! ;)

Guest, February 09, 2014, 07:11 PM

The truth, as always, is somewhere nearby! In my opinion, many of your conclusions are not entirely correct, and some are incorrect in principle! "An egoist is a bad person. This is a person who does not think about me all the time!" If so? - look in the mirror and direct anyone to it. Why are we not born selfish? And who told you that this is true? Reasonable selfishness . .. Yes! An acceptable concept, but it must be developed and educated. It will not fall on you like manna from heaven. If we talk about the Egoist, then the Creator is not interested in his position!? The egoist is the bearer of the EGO! What do you think? What is this? ;) nine0003

1

reply

Guest, March 22, 2020, 01:09 AM

We are all selfish somewhere inside, aren't we? Don't you have a right to have your rights? Have! So you are already an egoist, that's all. The main thing is to understand and evaluate the situation of your egoism, how much it is inflated in us and what follows from this. This means that we must carefully monitor our thoughts and actions, and if we feel that our egoism has crossed the line in relation to another person, we must stop, realize, think and take the opposite action, i.e. altruism :)

Guest, August 15, 2014, 10:30 pm

Entertaining psychology.

Mikhail, February 9, 2015, 01:40

The opposite of egoism is not altruism, but the position of the Creator, when a person takes care of himself and other people. Why? The Creator is just as reasonable an egoist as the consumer, it is just more painful for him to endure inaction when he needs help. In other words, the anguish and remorse of refusing to help will be much more acute.

1

reply

N.I. Kozlov, February 09, 2015, 04:18 PM

Mikhail, not everyone will agree with you. You might be interested in the article http://www.psychologos.ru/articles/view/kazhdyy_zabotitsya_tolko_o_sebe_dvoe_zn__pravda_li_eto_vop_zn_" target="_blank">Everyone cares only about himself: is this true? 07:32 AM 2019

Love your neighbor as yourself This is the whole point

Guest July 15, 2022 19:34

At the beginning of the article, the following thought sounds: “Love is not always selfish, but in its mass variants, love is primarily driven by selfish motives.” But the question arises, can the concepts of love and selfishness have something in common?

For reflection, this is how the Bible describes true love: “Love is patient, kind, it does not envy and does not boast, it is not proud, it cannot be rude, it does not seek profit for itself, it is not quick-tempered and does not remember evil. Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth. She covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). nine0003

Considering that people are created in the image of God, whose main quality is “love”, then the question arises, where did this negative quality come from?

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