What is the point of relationships
What is the point of relationships? – Peace & Spirituality
I was reading the Dali Lama’s book The Art of Happiness, and he was pointing out that humans have some perplexing views on love and relationships. His thesis seemed to be that we only truly value romantic and cohabitation relationships. Also, it appears that those relationships are the ones that we yearn to experience the most fulfillment, even though many of the same factors are present in almost all relationships. I truly valued all of my friendships, but I also experienced what he described, and I wondered what the point of a “relationship is.” I am defining a relationship as any relationship in which two people love each other enough to call what they have a relationship. This includes familial, platonic, and romantic relationships.
Regardless of their nature, relationships grant us a way to serve others and refine ourselves. One of the best parts of a relationship is the fun you can have with another while receiving their love and support. Relationships also allow souls to become closer than ever because we take on roles in the physical world. Though there are many reasons for the people in our lives, the main point of relationships is to help each of us grow and improve our behavior and treatment of others by defining ourselves through our connections to others.
To Refine Ourselves
There is no better way to refine and adjust our behavior than to be in a relationship. Relationships can sometimes be overwhelming, but they are often a perfect way for us to see the results of our words and actions. For example, if you treat the other person with kindness and care, chances are the relationship will grow and progress happily. If not, it will probably perish. That is okay because not every relationship is meant to be extensive. What is important is to reflect on what occurred and to adjust our behavior. Relationships are the ultimate reflection of us because our partner is directly affected by how we behave.
To Serve Others
Relationships are the perfect breeding ground for service. They allow us to serve those we care about deeply. These acts of service are essential because they promote a cycle of love by learning to give love and receive love. To serve and to be served. It is also important to note that no act of service is insignificant. Every gentle word, thoughtful action, and patient approach is genuinely appreciated by the other person whether it is acknowledged or not.
Each of us has used our time, focus, and resources to serve others in our relationships in a variety of ways. Though many of these acts might be considered mandatory, they are very much an act of service. Picture every present, meal, and ride you have ever purchased for your loved one. Imagine every time you cleaned up a mess or organized the clutter of a loved one when you didn’t have to. After all, it isn’t your mess. How often have you forgiven the friend who borrowed something and it didn’t return it? So then why forgive? We all wish to serve others in our relationships.
To Define Ourselves
Another point of relationships is to develop specific traits for our spiritual development. Each of us incarnates with a laundry list of issues that we would like to work through and improve. Such a list might look something like kindness, patience, humility, compromise, and self-reliance. What better way to work on finding our best self than by using a loved one to help us become better at each of the issues above. There will be ample opportunities to exhibit patience and compromise each day, and with each relationship we have. And as we show kindness, humility, and patience, we begin to know ourselves as these traits. We now define ourselves as the very spiritual issues that we needed to work through.
To Allow Souls To Become Closer
A relationship in the physcial world allows us the wonderful gift of becoming closer to another spirit than we ever imagined. On the other side, we are all equal in the truth that we are each a piece of God and can create our path. The same is accurate in the physical world, but one key difference persists; we take on roles here on Earth. For example, two souls decide to incarnate together as twin sisters. They spend a beautiful life together, exploring everything available to them. When they return to heaven, these two souls now have an even greater reverence for each other because they each played the “role” of a twin sister. Two souls in a sea of God’s creation used relationships us a way to become closer than ever.
Another example of relationships allowing souls to become closer than ever is through enemies. As counterintuitive as it sounds, some of our enemies in the physical world are some of our closest friends on the other side. Who would you rather hurt you? A soul who is antagonistic towards you or a loved one who is just playing a role. Sometimes we choose souls we trust to play negative roles in the physical world. These negative roles are often designed to promote a specific mindset or behavior for our personal growth. Once we realize that the person was acting at our behest, it gives each relationship more depth by allowing souls to know all of the shiny and the grimy of another soul.
To Learn and Experience
Relationships are a blessing because they give us a path to learn and experience new things. How many times has a loved one showed you something powerful, taught you a new skill, or gave you sound advice? Relationships allow us to learn new things by engaging in the culture and life perspectives of the person with whom we are sharing our time. That person’s warmth and life essence will become a part of the relationship and will help to guide the partner. This example of symbiosis allows both partners to bring much to each relationship they enter. Though it can be something life-altering such as sage advice, sometimes it can be a famous family recipe or a simple tradition that can bring just as much joy to a relationship.
To Receive a Blessing
One of the best reasons to have a relationship of any kind is due to the numerous blessings you will receive from the other person. The first blessing is love. Each person we have a relationship loves us on some level, and our soul can pick up on that love. Though we know we are loved completely by God, it’s easy to forget in the physcial world. When another loves us, it refreshes us and gives us the energy to carry on. It also makes us want to love ourselves and others. When we receive love, that energy gets reinvested into others.
The next blessing we receive from the people in our relationships is the support they provide us. Our loved ones know us profoundly and support us when we need their help. Often that support can be as simple as listening without actually offering anything significant in return. Or perhaps it can be taking the side of your loved one even when they are the wrong one. Maybe just declaring another to be unique is the only support the other person might need. All of us want to be fully supported, and relationships bring that blessing to us.
The coolest part of any relationship is all of the fun that it entails. Think of the relationships you had when you were a child. What activities do you picture when you think of your life then? I always enjoyed playing any game others would play like chess, tennis, video games, and swimming to name of few. I loved movies, bike riding, and exploring the world. As we get older, the games might change, but the objective stays the same, to have fun! Perhaps now it’s hiking a peak or spending a week in Las Vegas. Either way, our relationships lay the foundation for a fun existence.
Relationships Must Have Balance
If our relationships aren’t all that great, change them. Embrace and epitomize all that it means to be significant to the people you are in relationships with, and if they do not reciprocate, find new people. It is fair to say that there are many souls out there that would love to have someone love, support, and spoil them while offering all the same in return. This idea of balance helps to maintain the flow of love and respect between both people. It may seem callous to find others who are willing to treat you as you need to be treated, but without balance, resentment can set in. It is vital that we embrace the loving, serving roles that we already provide to others. If not for each other’s love, support, and blessings, our relationships wouldn’t be as fulfilling as they are.
10 Reasons to Be in a Relationship
We all want reasons for the things we do and don’t do. When it comes to love, however, what we do is seldom reasonable. Here are some good reasons to be in a relationship and ways to keep yours on track.
- Remember that being in a relationship is good for you. Statistics show that married people live longer than their unmarried counterparts. They also have higher happiness levels. There is no crime in being single—it may be your destiny—but marriage does seem to make sense from a health standpoint.
- Those who continue to create more love in their lives also create more opportunity, money, and fun. When you have someone by your side who is striving for the same goals, they are attained much more easily.
- Relationships can help to make us better people. Often we have the energy to do things for others that we wouldn’t do for ourselves. Love is powerful in that way. If your partner brings out the best in you, he or she is a keeper.
- You can get more done when you have a partner. Sometimes it’s a matter of motivation. Other times it’s just nice to have company. Whatever the reason, four hands can get more done than two. Putting your heads and hearts together helps as well.
- Turning things around can be much easier than you think. Usually we are just being stubborn or resentful. Dropping your attitude and appreciating that your other half has been putting up with your peccadilloes can help to make you more understanding.
- Doing something nice for your mate, “just because,” makes life sweeter for both of you. Do nice things for no good reason, and be appreciative when that favor is returned. Life doesn’t give us many free lunches.
- Most people have more fun playing with others. Doing things by yourself can be very fulfilling for some, but many folks like the idea of enjoying life with a partner.
- Having someone who knows you deeply is validating. This is the gift of knowing that the wonderful things you do are not going unnoticed, and it gives you more reason to do them.
- Romance creates warmth, hope, and happiness. The more you have, the more you will enjoy your life. It sounds simple because it is.
- Having a hand to hold as you go through life makes the difficulties we all experience easier to deal with. When things go awry, knowing that your mate has your back will allow you to go through whatever you have to and come out the other side a more positive person.
I’m sure there are a number of people who could write an opposing column. I just believe in the power of relationships and would rather be in one that I’m working on (which should never stop) than have no one to improve with. A good relationship makes both of you better, and besides, it’s more fun when you have someone to share the ride with.
What is the meaning of our relationship?
Has it ever happened to you that you did not understand why you are continuing a relationship with a partner ? Like it's missing the point? Or did it feel like love was gone?
If you've been in a relationship for more than a couple of years, then I'm sure the situation is familiar. Although at the very beginning, questions from the series “What are we together for?” sound absurd. Yes, just to be together! Because WE LOVE EACH OTHER!
And that's a good, rosy answer. I sincerely wish all of us to keep it in force. nine0006
How long does love last?
But life shows that in some periods this answer alone is not enough. As you know, love at the chemical, hormonal level lives from one to three years (a 30-year study on this topic was published, for example, by Professor of Anthropology at Rutgers University, USA, Helen Fisher in the book Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love").
During this period, we really see a partner very close and similar to us (contrary to popular belief, it is not opposites that attract and stay together, but people with similar personality models and basic values). nine0005 We still have many "blind spots", that is, situations in which we have not yet found ourselves and can only guess how a loved one will behave in them.
Thanks to hormones, everything that happens in a relationship has a great brightness.
Enthusiasm on both sides is more than enough and both try to invest in relationships to the maximum.
However, it is impossible to permanently put aside your career, friendships , earning money, self-development, having children or caring for aging parents, so from some point onwards, relationships periodically begin to give way to other areas of our life and this is completely normal . nine0005 Finally, in addition to the fact that the outside world also requires attention, there is also a hormonal decline. What we have already called LOVE suddenly acquires much calmer colors. You can even say "fading" (well, compared to the situation when we "can't breathe without each other")))
In addition, differences in views are gradually revealed, sometimes on very important life issues.
It is not always desirable to hush up one's position for the sake of preserving peace (and it is not necessary either - otherwise the other person simply will not have the opportunity to recognize the real us, he will interact with some illusion of us). nine0005 Patience and tenderness in order to “not aggravate” the situation is also sometimes not enough.
And one day a question arises inside: what is still holding us together? Are we sure we still love each other? Maybe all this has become a habit and we stay in a relationship just out of fear of losing stability?
Reasons to be together
In the past (and today in some conservative communities), spouses were chosen not for feelings, but for less ephemeral reasons: age, educational level, social and financial status, professional affiliation, visual attractiveness and health status. It is difficult for a modern Western person to try this on himself entirely, and it is not necessary. Rather, this is an example of additional meanings that hold the couple together. So, people with a similar level of education or profession have a few things in common, maybe they can even learn from each other. This is such a long-term, constantly renewing meaning. There is a completely different one: those for whom the value is material wealth will be able to maintain the union in order to increase wealth. And the achievement of this will please them even when the passion subsides. There are many such options, each couple can find and pronounce the values and meanings of their union - the main thing is that they be found. nine0006
Because the meaning of a relationship called " we just love each other " - for all its sacredness - can be quite fragile under the influence of hormones and / or in moments of life's storms.
The author of one of my most favorite books — Clarissa Pinkola Estes in She Who Runs With Wolves — writes: “…love in its most complete form is a series of deaths and rebirths. We part with one phase, with one facet of love, and enter the next. Passion dies and returns. The exiled pain resurfaces. To love means to accept and at the same time endure a great many endings and beginnings, and all this in the course of one and the same connection. nine0005 And mindfulness of one's own aspirations and values, which are reflected in the family and in a couple, is an opportunity to wait out the “night” in relationships, to remain committed to them, despite moments of doubt and pain. And continue on this path. Together.
At any phase of a relationship, you can significantly improve them - start with your own emotions and feelings. So that resentment from the child-parent connection, or rejection of oneself, one's body and other sources of tension and anxiety, are not mixed with the relationship with the partner. Clear space for a relationship with a partner. Sometimes it is enough that at the basic level there is calmness, peace, self-sufficiency and sincerity. And then the relationship becomes not a source of anxiety or the only meaning of life, but is an important and pleasant addition to .
I call this "Emotional Healing" and have dedicated a two week course to it. Exercises and practices to deepen your connection with your partner.
and do people need them?
Is a person really happy living without a partner? When does it become necessary to create a strong, stable and secure union? To understand what is the meaning and what is most important in a relationship, the latest psychological research will help.
Content of article
- 1 Disputes scientists
- 2 What influences on them
- 3 Why a permanent partner plays an important role
- 4 Can a person to be happy alone
- 5 How build happy relationships
There is a point of view that a person is “programmed” for love and relationships. However, in psychology, the question remains whether a permanent partner is really the only right way and what is the point in a relationship? nine0006
Until now there is no unequivocal answer to the question whether a person can be monogamous, nature is intended for marriage, or he needs a constant variety. The opinions of scientists on this matter differ. And it is obvious that a human being public. This means that in order for him to be able to fully to realize in order to fully meet their own needs, he relationships are needed.
Man has many needs that have been studied by scientists and classified in different ways. Maslow's pyramid of needs is best known. Analyzing it, we can conclude that many needs people are able to provide for themselves, and the satisfaction of some needs depends on other people. nine0006
Other people fulfill someone's needs if they choose to do so out of their own free will (love, friendship) or because they are afraid (order, dictatorship) or because they are paid to do so (business).
And what is true love, find out in our article at the link.
However, there is needs that can only be realized in very close relationships with another person. That is, a person has a need for love and the presence of a loved one. This applies in particular to the need for to be loved, to experience a sense of closeness, intimacy, complete openness, based on trust, the need for the approval and recognition of people, which ultimately gives a sense of psychological security. nine0006
Need, which is difficult to satisfy alone and difficult to buy is being near with another person with the feeling that "he loves me for who I am, with being able to say what I feel without fear." Satisfaction emotional and mental needs to a large extent affects the feeling happiness, pleasure and satisfaction in life.
What affects on them
The way they develop and changing attitudes depends on many factors, including such as beliefs about behavior and relationships between women and men in relationships, experience, or at least character. nine0006
Largely affects this is a kind of matrix "woman - man", "woman - woman" and "man - man”, which people endure from childhood. Simply put, a girl learns from your mother, what it's like to be a woman, a wife, a mother. The mother-daughter relationship is prototype of a girl's relationship with other women in adulthood. And the relationship girls with a father are a kind of prototype of her relationship with men in the future.
For example, if the father strict, demanding in relation to his daughter, cold or aggressive - then the girl learns to fulfill the requirements of her father, to be in relation to him was, he can react with fear and objects to his outbursts of aggression. In adulthood this girl, like a woman, can be in a relationship with men from defense, in submission and react with anxiety to partner's outbursts of anger. nine0006
Why a permanent partner plays an important role
Such a person is a kind of rock, a safe harbor to which a person returns after a hard day at work, after various upheavals in professional life, with problems in a career or loss of health. A permanent partner is someone who knows, understands, knows how to express support without words, with whom you can talk about everything that is important, with whom sex is an expression of intimacy, love and mutual trust. The whole essence of love in our article. nine0006
Often confused the concept of habit with the concept of a strong and close relationship between people. deep relationships are expressed in the fact that a person wants to share his fate with someone, and habit is regarded as the desire to be with someone forcedly, without feeling satisfaction and happiness.
Can a person to be happy alone
there are quite a few singles who lead a happy life, one can understand that at the current stage He doesn't need anyone in his life to be happy. It happens. However, sooner or late, more or less consciously - there is a need to create strong, stable and secure union, the need is awakening to share your life with another person. nine0006
People living in alone, can elicit sympathy from others, they are labeled “this is who no guy wants” or "He is one that no woman can stand." In spite of this, loners are increasingly common in the modern world, and their marital status is no longer cause surprise.
Tolerance in public consciousness is growing, thanks to which people living alone can relative calm until they are ready to enter permanent, interesting and very successful relationships, or completely from them refuse. nine0006
Like build happy relationships
There are many recipes for successful relationships, and each of them has its own meaning. To a large extent, what will happen between people in a relationship, how they will communicate and what emotions will appear in the process depends on the method of communication. But if you have secret acquaintances and meetings, then the scenario may have an unpredictable ending.
The most important element, what makes them happy is openness, it is a kind of connection between people, relationship oriented. Openness is often understood as free expression of oneself, demonstration of one's thoughts and freedom in stories about his past without hesitation, without restrictions, together with personal and private details. However, this is a misconception about openness. nine0006
Real openness in relationships lies in the fact that a person can face an important partner to reveal what he feels and what he thinks about at the moment moment, and from his past gives the information that is important for understanding it behavior or response in the current situation.
This has a special value when people want to create close and healthy relationships. Hiding what they really feel, think and want to say at the moment partners, they deprive their half of the opportunity to fully know themselves. hide their feelings, thoughts and control their reactions when there is fear refusal when they are afraid that the person to whom the person wants to get closer. nine0006
Real openness actually carries with it the risk of rejection - this is because often a person behaves as he thinks, it is necessary to please the chosen person. He says that What do you think your partner wants to hear? This is how people begin their true face hide out of fear of lack of recognition or out of shame or feeling guilt. This is the lack of openness.
A to the human need for partnership has been fully realized, openness needed. You need to clearly and clearly convey your thoughts, views, dreams, react sincerely, spontaneously. This is needed from the very beginning and especially in situations that important to both partners.