What is an introvert man
Signs of an Introvert Personality: Types, Traits & Characteristics
Written by Rachel Reiff Ellis
In this Article
- What Is an Introvert?
- Signs You Might Be an Introvert
- Causes of Introversion
- Types of Introverts
- Introversion Versus Shyness
- Myths About Introverts
What Is an Introvert?
An introvert is a person with qualities of a personality type known as introversion, which means that they feel more comfortable focusing on their inner thoughts and ideas, rather than what’s happening externally. They enjoy spending time with just one or two people, rather than large groups or crowds.
When you hear the word introvert, you might think of someone who's shy or quiet and prefers to be alone. While that may be true for some introverts, there's much more to this personality type. Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert all depends on how you process the world around you.
A psychologist named Carl Jung began using the terms introvert and extrovert (sometimes spelled extravert) in the 1920s. These two personality types sort people into how they get or spend their energy. Introverts, Jung said, turn to their own minds to recharge, while extroverts seek out other people for their energy needs.
Signs You Might Be an Introvert
Around one-third to one-half of all people in the U.S. are introverts. Though it looks different in everyone, introverts have many of the same patterns of behavior. In general, introverts:
- Need quiet to concentrate
- Are reflective
- Are self-aware
- Take time making decisions
- Feel comfortable being alone
- Don't like group work
- Prefer to write rather than talk
- Feel tired after being in a crowd
- Have few friendships, but are very close with these friends
- Daydream or use their imaginations to work out a problem
- Retreat into their own mind to rest
One way to find out if you're an introvert is to take a test, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) or the SAPA project.
Causes of Introversion
Scientists don't know for sure if there's a cause for introversion or extroversion. What they do know is the brains of the two personality types work a little differently from each other. Researchers have found that introverts have a higher blood flow to their frontal lobe than extroverts do. This part of the brain helps you remember things, solve problems, and plan ahead.
Introvert brains also react differently to dopamine than extrovert brains do. That's a chemical that turns on the reward- and pleasure-seeking part of your brain. Introverts and extroverts have the same amount of the chemical, but extrovert brains get an excited buzz from their reward center. Introverts, on the other hand, tend to just feel run-down by it.
Types of Introverts
Being an introvert isn't an all-or-nothing stamp on your personality. Psychologists think of introverts as falling somewhere on a scale. Some people are more introverted than others. Other people fall right in the middle of the scale. They're called ambiverts.
Introverts usually have a few extroverted traits mixed in with their introverted ones, and vice versa. There are a wide range of ways to be an introvert.
One study shows that introverts tend to fall into one of four subtypes:
Social introverts. This is the "classic" type of introvert. Social introverts like small groups and quiet settings over crowds.
Thinking introverts. People in this group are daydreamers. They spend a lot of time in their thoughts and tend to have creative imaginations.
Anxious introverts. They seek out alone time not just because they like it, but also because they often feel awkward or shy around people.
Restrained/inhibited introverts. These introverts think before they act. They aren't likely to make a decision on a whim. Typically they take longer to take action.
Your introverted ways may change over time, and in different settings, too. You're not likely to swing from introvert to extrovert. But it's possible you could become more or less introverted, depending on what's going on in your life.
Introversion Versus Shyness
Many people think of introverts as shy, but the two aren’t linked. Introversion is a personality type, while shyness is an emotion.
People who are shy tend to feel awkward or uncomfortable when they’re in social situations, especially when they’re around strangers. They may feel so nervous, they become sweaty. Their heart may beat quicker, and they may get a stomachache. They may be inclined to skip social events because they don’t like the negative feelings that take over their thoughts and bodies when they have to go to parties or other activities.
People who are introverted also prefer to skip social events, but it’s because they feel more energized or comfortable doing things on their own or with one or two other people. Introverts don’t choose to skip social events because they have strong negative reactions to larger gatherings the way that shy people do; they just prefer being alone or in very small groups.
Myths About Introverts
One common myth about introverts is that they’re shy. Some introverts may be shy, but this is not the case for all introverts. Other myths include:
- Introverts are unfriendly. Being an introvert doesn’t affect how friendly you may be. Some people may think that introverts are unfriendly because they don’t tend to have large groups of friends, and they may reflect on situations quietly rather than joining in on conversations at gatherings.
- Introverts can’t be leaders. Although people may think of an extroverted personality when they imagine a leader, introverts have the skills to be bosses and leaders, too. Some of their qualities make them effective leaders: They listen to their employees’ ideas, they can stay focused on long-term goals, and they may seem less threatening, so people may accept them in their roles.
- It’s hard to get to know introverts. Introverts prefer to have deep friendships with only a handful of people. They may not open up to everyone who wants to small-talk, but the people they’re close with know them very well and develop real friendships with them.
3 Keys to Understanding (& Dating) an Introverted Man
in: Dating & Relationships
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Some of the sweetest, most thoughtful souls alive are introverts. If you’re dating (or thinking of dating) an introverted man, you’ll want to start here.
It’s not news that it can be challenging for the sexes to understand each other.
For men, it’s hard to understand women. There are a million articles and memes a day reinforcing that fact. For women, it’s hard to understand men too—especially introverted men.
The reason introverted men are especially challenging to understand is they’re not as forthcoming with their thoughts and feelings. It’s simply a result of their more private nature.
At the same time, these men are such a pleasure because of their warm, thoughtful, gentle, and quietly bold nature. They are such a charm!
I spend my days helping these same introverted men attract women naturally, so I’m used to telling them how to better understand women. It will be fun to flip it around a bit today and put these years of research to work for you!
Whether you’re a woman who wants to understand introverted men better or whether you’re an introverted man who wants to understand himself better, I hope this article will be helpful for you. Introverted men are wonderful creatures, and here are a few key things to keep in mind as you get to know them better:
Introverted men love an open, no-pressure vibe.
They love the feeling of no-pressure spaciousness when it comes to both social and romantic interactions. They love hanging out with their buddies, all of them laughing without a care in the world.
Dating can be hard for these men because they can often feel on-the-spot, like they have to produce suave content out of nowhere. That’s exhausting for them, especially if they already feel on-edge.
The way to help ease this and bring out a more spacious feel into your interactions with them is to lean back physically—in your own chair or against a wall—while staying engaged.
Keep friendly, laid-back body language with them while still being invested in your interaction with them through your bright, curious eyes and warm smile.
This will have them feeling at ease around you in no time. They’ll feel like you “get it”—that you get them—and they’ll be so grateful!
Here’s another thing you should know:
Introverted men love to feel like they can share at the right pace forthem.
With more reserved men, there’s a lot more going on in their thoughts and feelings than meets the eye, and they’re really only willing to share that when they feel the time is right.
If they’re a little slower to express themselves, or if their expression feels a bit more understated than you’re used to, understand that it doesn’t mean they’re not feeling. They are! They’re feeling a LOT. It just takes more effort for them to express that, and it can take a tremendous amount of effort for them to express it to someone they’ve barely just met.
So if you can trust they’re feeling and thinking things they’re just not letting on yet, and if you can feel excited and curious about that idea, that’s excellent. At that point, you’re giving off positive and relaxed vibes.
This puts them at ease—which is wonderful. Everyone loves to feel as though they’re intriguing to others while also feeling a sense of space to relax and be their most authentic selves. That can only come from an absence of external pressure to perform or be someone they’re not.
Introverted men love to feel like they can relax and be themselves.
When you show them you’re interested in them for who they are, they’ll unravel their thoughts and feelings more openly to you than they’re accustomed to. It may surprise and delight them!
You’ll hear them say they just feel at ease around you. They might laugh nervously and say they’ve never shared so much before.
With the frame of reference that you’ve discovered an incredibly dynamic and interesting person, you put them at ease. At that point, they feel like they can FINALLY just be themselves and that that is enough. It absolutely is.
That’s why we love them so much, why they’re so intriguing to us.
At the end of the day, understanding introverted men is about giving them space, being patient, and enjoying seeing them open up at the pace that feels right for them and delightful for you.
[image: via shutterstock]
About the Author
Sarah Jones founded Introverted Alpha to help smart introverted men attract women naturally. Her work has been featured on AskMen, Cosmo, Bustle, Business Insider, San Francisco Chronicle, and more. She loves helping men use their natural strengths to attract women, without having to use tricks or be someone they’re not.
About the Author:
MeetMindful is the first online dating site to serve the mindful lifestyle. As part of that service, we’re bringing you a library of content from some of the most knowledgeable contributors in the areas of love and mindful living. If you have a story to tell or a lesson to share and you’d like to contribute to our site as a guest, please email us at [email protected] If we’re a great match, we’d love to tell you more about joining our family of writers.
Is an introvert man a secretive, callous type or is it not so bad? How to understand an introvert and build relationships with him?
September 26, 2022
Updated: September 26, 2022
Updated 26. 09
The well-known theory of Jung's personality typology divided all the people of the world into 2 types - someone ended up in the "clan" of extroverts (and considers himself lucky), and someone - in half of quiet and withdrawn people (consider "on your mind") - introverts. But this does not mean that someone is good and someone is a bad type. Being an introvert is not bad and, moreover, such a person has a lot of advantages, but not many people know how to find an approach to him. Especially if the beloved man or partner for whom you feel sympathy turned out to be an introvert. nine0003
In this article, we will talk about what qualities an introvert man has, how to communicate with a guy or an introvert man, and how introverts behave in relationships with women.
- The guy is an introvert. Signs of this type of personality nine0029 How to recognize an introvert? Characteristic demeanor
- The guy is an introvert. How to communicate with him in love and relationships nine0030
- Features of an introvert man nine0029 FAQ
- Expert opinion nine0041
Introvert guy.Signs of this type of personality
The division into certain types of personality did not just happen. The Swiss psychiatrist and educator Carl Gustav Jung observed people's reactions to various events, analyzed their similarities and differences, behavioral patterns and personal preferences, and deduced a certain pattern - a certain set of psycho-emotional reactions, personal qualities that are characteristic of two types of people - extroverts and introverts. nine0003
An extrovert is tuned in to the environment, cannot live without society, he needs a company to be in the center of attention in it, easily makes contact, impulsive, open, active, explosive. An introvert is its opposite: he often thinks to himself, keeps all his experiences inside himself, if he wants to communicate, then only with those whom he himself let into a “narrow circle”, analyzes a lot, is emotionally stable, calm, closed.
In each of us there are signs of both an extrovert and an introvert, there are no absolutely pure types. Much depends on the specific situation, personal attitudes, developed patterns of behavior. But often girls, not knowing how introverts behave in love, not understanding the characteristics of this type of personality, get scared and get lost in the question of how to build relationships with such a man. They ask if an introverted man is suitable for marriage? Male introverts do not make good contact with others. However, this does not mean that relationships are not needed and introverts do not want to find love. nine0003
Important! You can understand an introverted man, most importantly, be an open, reliable, patient person. They do not like pressure and haste. Do not force or force them to do anything, otherwise the introvert man will close in the relationship, he will not show his emotions, he will not explain his behavior, he will become closed and cold.
How to recognize an introvert? Characteristic demeanor
If a man is an introvert, then he will often be immersed in his thoughts, he will be thoughtful and focused, he has clear goals and plans, and he will go towards them without spraying everything around. nine0003
The behavior of this type of personality is characterized by the following features:
- the man is rather a loner, he does not like noisy companies and prefers to stay away
- does not make contact first and does not like to meet people
- prefers to communicate through instant messengers, chats, and not in person "face to face"
- calm, polite, disciplined, correct, precise, punctual nine0061 conservative, likes to think, stingy with emotions (as a rule, hides them inside under a mask of equanimity)
You may get the impression that an introvert is a gloomy person. But this is not so, it is just that he is more often immersed in himself and rarely leaves his comfort zone. And his comfort zone is to hide thoughts and feelings inside and deal with them himself.
Since an introvert does not need constant communication, he prefers to spend his free time outside noisy companies and, if possible, not to communicate with strangers. He admits into his "social circle" only those whom he trusts and with whom he has known for a long time. nine0003
To please an introverted man, he must understand that you do not pose a threat to his inner world, you can be trusted, you do not rush him and do not try to change him. Only a patient young lady who is not afraid of difficulties can fall in love with such a man.
The famous actor Johnny Depp has repeatedly admitted that he is very shy and does not like to be in the spotlight, but his profession obliges him to communicate a lot. All of his characters are often closed and reflect the features of the actor himself - in fact, Johnny Depp as Edward Scissorhands, Willy Wonka, Sweeney Todd was himself. nine0003
The guy is an introvert. How to communicate with him in love and relationships
If your boyfriend or husband is an introvert, then the following tips are for you. You will learn how to find a trip to him and what to do to become a good wife.
- Be patient, listen carefully, don't interrupt and don't expect quick responses - this type needs to think things over well, and only then make a decision.
- Behind the seeming calmness there is a rather emotional man, only for him to show his emotions, you need to really “try”. nine0030
- You need to get used to the leisurely pace of your man's life. If you have an opposite pace of life, then in order to avoid conflicts on this basis, try to come to a compromise and adopt each other's character traits.
- A man will never admit that he is in love, but if he decides to build relationships with you, cares for you, takes care of you, then know that he cares about you. For this type, this is a serious step.
Sign up for an online consultation if you feel that an introvert guy has fallen in love with you and you want to build a relationship with him, but you find it difficult to accept his personality traits. Our psychologists will help you understand and accept your partner's "habits". You can get advice at any time convenient for you. nine0003
Characteristics of an introverted man
Here are a few features of male behavior that you should know and keep in mind if you want to make friends with this type of people, you have plans to build strong interpersonal relationships, you are already married, but you want to “lay straws” and avoid conflicts in the future.
- he first thinks for a long time, and then slowly does
- “digests” conflict situations for a long time, constantly thinks, analyzes his own and other people’s actions
- does not like to violently express his emotions, always restrained, "a man of action, not a word"
- constant communication strains him, wants to be alone, indulge in thoughts, philosophize
- can talk for a long time with someone he truly trusts
- patient, observant, purposeful, but at the same time not without imagination and a good sense of humor
How do you know if an introvert guy likes you?
An introvert in love is very secretive - you can’t bring him to emotions in ordinary life, and if it comes to amorous relationships, then even more so. They love the classic "model" of building a family, when a man is the head and breadwinner. Since this type does not like long communication, you can understand his attitude towards you by how long he is ready to talk with you. If he steps out of his comfort zone for you, he likes you. nine0003
Does an introvert man like to travel alone or in a company?
Before a man goes on a trip, he will plan it carefully - not only the time and place, but also the company. He will not be upset by a solo trip, but if a company gathers, then it will be a few chosen people, and not a buzzing crowd.
Do introverts always get along with their opposite, extroverts? nine0003
No. Not necessary. There are a lot of couples who are close to each other because they have the same personality type and preferences. Although from a psychological point of view, opposites attract, but such a union requires work from each partner.
Personality type allows each of us to learn a little more about ourselves, about our loved ones, friends and partners. Knowing each other's characteristics, we can "extinguish" emerging conflicts, communicate more effectively, build long-term relationships, achieve goals, make useful connections, etc. nine0003
Do not be upset if your partner turned out to be an introvert - this is not a bad type, this is a wonderful person, a reliable husband, a family man, a breadwinner and a purposeful individual. You just need to know how to approach it.
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Article author nine0003
Monakhova Albina Petrovna clinical psychologist
Experience 17 years
Specialist in clinical psychology. Help in finding tools for self-realization, working out beliefs, fears and anxieties. Work with self-attitude, internal boundaries, understanding of interaction with society through conscious personal changes. nine0003
- 2007 - 2008 Children's polyclinic No. 4 - teacher psychologist
- 2008 - 2009 Healthy Country LLC - clinical psychologist
- 2009 - 2021 Republican Narcological Dispensary - psychologist
- 2012 - 2013 Occupational medicine - psychologist
- 2013 - 2015 LLC Vozrozhdenie - psychologist
- 2019 to present Teledoctor24 LLC - psychologist nine0071
- ... Kravchenko A.I. General Sociology: A Textbook for High Schools. M.: Unity. 2002
- ... Egorova M. S., Psychology of individual differences, - M., 1997
- ... Pervin L., John O. Psychology of personality: Theory and research / Per. from English. M. S. Zhamkochyan, ed. V. S. Maguna - M .: Aspect Press, 2000.
- ... Gary Chapman Five Love Languages - A Bible for All, 1999
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Male introvert - characteristics, how to communicate and live with him
An introverted man is a person completely immersed in his own thoughts, feelings, and inner world. Introverts are important personal thoughts, experiences. They rarely leave their comfort zone, they are not inclined to trust the environment too much, preferring loneliness. These men experience difficulties in social existence, since it requires the presence of such qualities as sociability, openness, adaptability. And since success today, to a greater extent, is built on interaction with other subjects, which requires certain communication skills, it is doubly difficult for introverted men to achieve the expected results. nine0003
The totality of personal characteristics and properties determines people to a certain psychological subtype. Modern psychology distinguishes the following: extraversion (orientation to the surrounding universe), introversion (orientation inward) and ambiversion (a combination of features of the above types).
An introverted man is characterized by a desire for solitude. Loneliness fills him with energy, and the presence of strangers, on the contrary, leads to its waste. Such people avoid publicity and do not like noisy conversations, discussions, feasts. They are more interested in their own reasoning, thoughts, interests. nine0003
Any interaction with their environment lacks spontaneity. It always has a clearly defined goal, even if it is “invisible” to other subjects. Extroverts, communicating with them, often feel tension.
Introverts can do without communication and other people completely painlessly for a long time. They always clearly keep their own boundaries. They also tend to scrupulously think through their own actions and plan everything in detail. They, as a rule, can “chew” an unpleasant event inside for a long time, invariably returning thoughts to it. nine0003
Male introverts are characterized by a developed fantasy and vivid imagination. They are characterized by acute observation and power patience. They tend to analyze everything and take control of their own emotional behavior. These men are quite purposeful, but at the same time they are the biggest conservatives, striving to stay away not only from the “fresh” world trends, but also from new acquaintances. They are characterized by excessive stubbornness, so they will never perform actions that are resisted by his inner self. Introverts are true to their own soul and principles. nine0003
They always try to be responsible for their actions or words. It is easier for introverted men to swim with the flow than to rebel against the turbulent flow. Therefore, they are accustomed to follow the established routine of their own existence. The tendency to make fateful decisions is not at all about introverted men. However, their predilection for balanced decisions, poise, steadfastness and calmness help them to successfully avoid serious confrontation and easily level conflict situations, which helps to maintain peace of mind and normal relationships with the environment. They are able to accept other people without embellishment, as they really are with all the negative manifestations and positive features, because they themselves know well what it means to be imperfect. nine0003
At the same time, the category of Adam's sons under consideration is rather stingy with emotional manifestations and is not inclined to openly demonstrate their own feelings, therefore living with an introverted man is sometimes quite difficult, especially if his household members are pronounced extroverts.
However, introversion does not imply that the individual is a staunch couch potato and is accustomed to spending all his time burying himself in a monitor, display, book, or delving into his favorite business.
Introverted men can also be socialized individuals, however, the most significant events for them will still be happening inside. Also, they cannot be ranked among the people who have many friends-friends in reality and social networks. Introverted men are content with two or three friends, but very reliable and trusted, relationships with which often stretch throughout their existence. nine0003
For the category of men under consideration, their boundaries are very important, which cannot be violated by anyone. Boundaries are what provide an introvert with a sense of security, harmony, balance and inner comfort, which must be taken into account when living together. At the same time, the boundaries fence off the personal belongings of a person, but also his inner experiences.
So, as it was written above, male introverts are reluctant to interact with the environment, contacts with strangers are especially alien to them, however, they are also subject to high feelings - love. An introvert man is in love when, with visible pleasure, he leaves his comfortable "burrow" in order to spend unforgettable moments with his chosen one, when he lets the young lady into his own space, when he shares his innermost thoughts and details of personal life. nine0003
An introvert in relationships
Spending most of the day alone, inside your own experiences, thoughts - that's what it means to be a true introvert. At the same time, men who prefer peace in themselves are far from always characterized by shyness. Often they are simply weakly active in communication, which does not become an obstacle to their enjoyment of communication with the beautiful half. Their key difference from extroverts is that they need more time for their own "I", the inner world, than their opposites. After all, introverts can rightfully be ranked among silent observers, looking at the root of thinkers, great philosophers. However, these "wise men" experience serious difficulties in relationships. nine0003
Living with an introverted man is not easy enough. So, for example, an introvert man in a relationship with an extrovert woman is considered a rather problematic combination. Much of this is due to women's behavior. Often, extroverted ladies lack decisiveness, openness, and manifestation of feelings in an introverted partner. They consider their halves to be too soft and prone to infantilism. They think that the chosen ones do not know how to find solutions to problems and apply them, they are not able to commit an act, they constantly “soar in the clouds”. In turn, male introverts think that extroverted partners are overly emotional, talkative and sociable. Finding harmony with such a combination is quite difficult. nine0003
In a couple where an introverted man in a relationship with an introverted woman, there is constant harmony, mutual understanding, and respect for boundaries. There are practically no conflicts here. However, such a union is not always cloudless, since partners, having plunged into loneliness together, may lose touch with the external universe and place excessive emotional expectations on each other.
Professions for introverts
Since this category of people prefers solitude, professions that do not require publicity, the need for constant interaction with colleagues, clients, subordinates are more suitable for them. They are characterized by thoughtfulness, poise, perseverance. nine0003
In this case, all introverts should not be equated with each other. After all, each of them is individual, so some need privacy more, others less. However, they all have one thing in common: the desire to minimize interaction with others.
Hence, due to low sociability, the most suitable work for an introverted man will include activities that do not require a large number of social contacts and collective work.
Thus, the ideal job for them is: train driver, driver, analyst, programmer, accountant, copywriter, writer, artist, critic, auto mechanic.