What does it mean to be in an exclusive relationship

What Does It Mean To Be In An Exclusive Relationship?

An exclusive relationship means you and your partner are not dating other people. Each partner agrees they are on the same page by communicating what their relationship status means to them. You cease dating activity with others to focus on building a relationship with one person. There are activities you did while dating; you should no longer be doing, such as using dating apps or sending messages to many others you dated. You and your partner establish boundaries or guidelines to define the meaning of being exclusive.

Are We Dating Or In A Relationship: Where Do We Stand?

Exclusivity Could Have Different Meanings For Each Person

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When you’ve been dating for a while, you may have questions about where things are going. You like spending time with this person, and your feelings for them continue to grow. The time you’ve spent together has been great, and you want to keep it going, but you want to keep things between the two of you. Meaning you’re not interested in dating others. Sometimes it is a challenge to bring this up with the person you’re dating. You don’t want to pressure them, but you feel like you’re in limbo. You want to know if there is the meaning behind the time you’ve spent together.

Dating can lead to a relationship, but there is a time between dating and an unclear relationship. Usually, one person feels likes things should be excluded because they developed deep feelings for the other. When you want to know where you stand, it means examining whether you and your partner are ready to be exclusive. You determine how meaningful your time with each other has been. You both reach an agreement that neither person is pursuing other people. To achieve this understanding, it is essential to discuss your feelings for each other to learn where you stand. Each person should understand the meaning of an exclusive relationship so both people are on the same page.

Why Having The Conversation Is Important

While dating is a good thing, it is common for people to wonder about defining their relationship. Some think if they are in a relationship, it adds pressure to be romantic or pushed into a relationship. Talking about your current status gives clarity on where you stand. Starting the conversation shows bravery, and you’ll learn what you need to know so you can move forward.

How do you know you’re ready to talk? After dating for a few weeks or months, it’s a good time to bring up the topic. If you’ve been on two or three dates, be patient and give it some time. Dating lets you get to know each other, but if you develop deep feelings after getting to know each other, there may be potential to take things to the next step. Other signs, such as acting like a couple, referring to them as your girlfriend or boyfriend by accident, or you’ve met each other’s friends or family, may signal you’re ready for the talk. Once you’re at this point, determine the place and time to start the conversation.

The conversation is significant because it may determine how things will change for both of you. You should feel comfortable being open about your feelings and the time spent together. Try to relax, and remember, they may not be on the same page. As you think about how you want to start the conversation, think about starting with a question. Be casual and ask something like, “Do you think we should stop dating other people,” or “What are you looking for these days?”

Asking a question sets the tone for the conversation. You’ll learn insight into each other that shows if both people will invest the same effort in the relationship. It’s a starting block building the communication that’s necessary for relationships. Be open to what they have to say, and respect their decision if they don’t want a relationship at this time. Suppose they express interest in exclusively discussing boundaries for the relationship. Some may skip the conversation and assume they are exclusive. Doing this may lead to confusion or being hurt later. You can avoid this by verbally confirming your status.

Signs Your Relationship Is Exclusive

Maybe you’ve been seeing someone for a couple of months but haven’t talked about your relationship or defined it as exclusive. Some have intentions, while others are subtle about what they want. Sometimes a person goes with the flow without acknowledging they want to be exclusive. In situations like this, people’s actions vary, and it helps to know what to look for that may indicate you’re exclusive or that things are headed in that direction. Here are some indicators of an exclusive relationship.

You Met Their Family And Friends. On separate occasions, you’ve met with people considered close to your partner and vice versa. You may have met their co-worker or attended an event or outing with other people present. The person you’re with is proud to introduce you to others, and you feel the same.

You’re Included In Plans. The person you’re with may say “we” when talking about things they want to do in the future. Making plans, taking a vacation, or booking tickets in advance hints they are thinking about you or assume you’ll be a part of their plans.

You Get Labeled As Being A Girlfriend Or Boyfriend. Some believe females like using labels more than males. If the person you’re with happens to refer to you as their boyfriend or girlfriend, it may mean you are in a relationship. If you refer to them with a label and express uncertainty, they are not ready for a relationship yet.

You No Longer Need To Maintain Onan line Dating Profile. When you’ve found someone you want to spend more time with, chances are you’re ready to be in a relationship. You won’t need to check for messages or review profiles of others. You may feel relieved or happy you don’t have to conduct online searches for the time being. You look forward to seeing more of the person you’ve been dating.

You Get Together Regularly. Fridays or Saturdays may have been designated date nights at one point, but now you’re steady seeing each other every weekend. Someone who is dating others may leave a weekend open. When you are eager to spend time with someone, you look forward to making time for each other. Spending time together regularly shows you are their one and only.

You Told Each Other, “I Love You.” If you’ve been together for a while and see each other several days a week, it may not be a surprise when someone says, “I love you.” Maybe you’ve spent nights curled on the couch together, and you felt comfortable when they show intimacy. Usually, when love is spoken, the person means it. An exclusive relationship has this, and it shows meaning. If your man has told you he loves you, then you're lucky. He's showing signs he wants to date you exclusively.

You Include Each Other In Plans. When someone is in an exclusive relationship, they may see you as someone they want to make long-term plans with, such as living together or marriage. They may let you know in a subtle way that they don’t see things being temporary. The level of commitment becomes significant in exclusive relationships.

Your Social Media Pages Include Photos Featuring Both Of You. When a person is proud to be with someone, they have no problem letting others know through social media.

You And Your Partner Show Affection In Public. Showing affection such as holding hands around others, especially people close to you, such as family and friends, is a definite sign that tells the world you’re off the market.

Exclusivity Could Have Different Meanings For Each Person

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You Look After Them When They Are Sick Or Vice Versa. Things are great when you feel good, but you feel sad when your partner is under the weather. You choose to bring flowers, soup, or medicine. You are willing to do whatever is necessary to help them be comfortable so they can feel better. When you’re not feeling well, they do the same and would rather be with you instead of hanging out with friends. Many say a person like this is a keeper.

You’re Trusted With Something Personal. For example, some exchange keys to their homes. If they give you a key to their home, it may signal you have the key to their hearts. Whether you’re trusted with personal belongings or personal thoughts and feelings, it shows the person you are with thinks highly of you. It is a pretty clear sign that your relationship could be viewed as exclusive.

What To Do When Unsure

Talking about your feelings is essential to determine the status of your relationship. It is common for someone to wonder about how to define their relationship and the significance of being exclusive. While talking with the person you see about your thoughts is significant, you don’t have to figure out how to achieve this alone. Learn from a professional standpoint on hoassessingour relationship by discussing your situation with a couples’ counselor. Gain in-depth knowledge about what an exclusive relationship means and how your thoughts and feelings relate to your situation.

An exclusive relationship involves being focused on one person after an extended period of dating. It includes assessing each other’s expectations and communicating boundaries. It is important to talk about your relationship to learn the meaning behind the time you’ve spent together. When there is no longer an interest to date others, and you look forward to spending more time with the one you’re with, an exclusive relationship is on the horizon.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What does an exclusive relationship mean?

An exclusive relationship refers to a committed relationship. If you are in an exclusive relationship, you see someone officially or formally and aren’t seeing anyone outside of the partnership. If you are searching for the definition of an exclusive relationship, you can use the definition of an exclusive relationship in this article. As most would define it, the definition of an exclusive relationship outlined in this article is at the very top of the page: “An exclusive relationship means you and your partner are not dating other people. ” Another way to find the definition of an exclusive relationship is to pair the definition of the word “exclusive” with the definition and context of a romantic partnership. To ensure that you and your partner are on the same page, you may discuss your personal definition of an exclusive relationship together. There are different relationship stages once you enter an exclusive relationship. Still, if you are ready to be exclusive and have entered a relationship by asking someone to be your partner or by saying yes to someone who asked you to be their partner, then you are in an exclusive relationship regardless of relationship stages.

What does it mean to date exclusively?

If you are ready to be exclusive, dating exclusively means that you are dating another person formally. Regardless of relationship stages, you are in a committed relationship, and you aren’t looking to date anyone else. You are dating exclusively if someone asked you to be their partner and you said yes or if you ask them to be your partner and they said yes. As relationship advice or dating advice will often say, it’s essential that everything is on the table and that you and the person you are dating know where each other stands in terms of exclusivity and other similar issues. Likely, if you are in a relationship with someone, it would hurt you to come across a dating profile, dating app, or dating site with them on it unexpectedly. If you are not ready to be exclusive, you have to tell the other person, and you have to be honest with yourself.

What does exclusive mean to a guy?

An exclusive relationship will mean to a guy what an exclusive relationship means to anyone else. Being exclusive means being loyal and being in a relationship that you do not intend to step outside. If you think of first date ideas, second date ideas, or even third date ideas and have not asked the other person to be your partner or accepted an invitation to be theirs; you are not exclusive yet. Exclusivity typically comes when you ask the other person to be your partner or vice versa.

Is being exclusive the same as being in a relationship?

Yes. Being exclusive refers to being in an exclusive relationship. If someone’s not ready to be exclusive, they must communicate. Additionally, if they would like to have an open relationship, it is something they must communicate. You and your partner or spouse must make sure that you’re on the same page. You do not want to find out that someone you are exclusive with is on a dating app or has a dating site profile. This is why it is vital to talk about what stage of dating you are in and if you are ready to be exclusive or not at a certain point in a relationship. For example, suppose you met via a matched dating profile on a dating app nine months ago and have been meeting up for dates and seeing each other consistently ever since but have not defined the relationship yet. In that case, it is likely time to talk about it. You want to avoid confusion on either side and respect one another.

Is it cheating if your exclusive?

If you’re in an exclusive or committed relationship and step outside of the relationship without your partner knowing, it is cheating. It is also seen as unfaithful to make an online dating profile on a dating site or dating sites or sign up for a dating app without your partner’s awareness. If you are polyamorous or in an open relationship, you will likely have outlined what would be considered cheating or stepping outside the relationship. If you and your partner have any disparities surrounding what is okay and what is not, it’s essential to talk about it clearly and in-depth.

At what point should a relationship become exclusive?

A common piece of dating advice or relationship advice is to take it slow. Entering a new relationship is exciting, but it is important to move at a healthy pace. Many sources say that you should know someone for at least two months before entering an exclusive relationship. Those who offer dating advice or relationship advice often suggest this amount of time because it allows you the time you need to get to know the person you’re seeing. Even if you feel an immediate connection with someone, the truth is that if you just met them, you don’t know them. This is true for those who met through online dating sites, those who met on a dating app, and people who meet in person. Once you start dating formally and are in a committed relationship, you will notice different relationship stages. If you struggle with dating advice, relationship advice, or any other issues related to your love life, a counselor can help. Say that you find yourself searching for “exclusive dating advice,” “dating relationships am I ready to be exclusive,” or other similar terms. In that case, it may be beneficial to speak with a counselor who can help you work through your thoughts as they pertain to dating. A counselor or therapist can help you work through matters related to relationships or anything else in your life. If you need support or are simply searching for someone to talk to, don’t be afraid to reach out. Whether you see someone online or speak with a counselor near you, you can become confident in dating or anything else you’re working on, and it is possible to get the support you need.

5 Things You Should Know About Being in an Exclusive Relationship

When you’re dating someone, there’s one unavoidable question that can immediately cause anxiety: What are we? Having “the talk” with the person you’re seeing can be intimidating (or downright scary), especially if you’re not sure where the relationship stands. Are you casually dating? Are you exclusive? Committed? What’s the difference, anyway?

If you’re currently in limbo with your partner, you might feel a little stressed — and that’s okay. It’s normal to feel a bit anxious about a relationship, especially when you’re not sure where you stand. (That’s where “the talk” comes in.) If you’re ready to go from dating to an exclusive relationship, we’re here to help!

Navigating the dating world can get a little complicated, so let’s take a look at the five things you should know about being in an exclusive relationship:

1. What Is an Exclusive Relationship?

First thing’s first—let’s define what it means to be in an exclusive relationship. The term “exclusive” gets thrown around pretty loosely, but there are actually different levels of exclusivity. Simply put, exclusively dating is the step before an official, exclusive relationship. This might sound a little confusing, so let’s break it down:

Exclusively Dating: When you’re dating exclusively, there is sort of an unspoken acknowledgment that you’re only seeing each other. You’re spending all of your time together and aren’t seeing anyone else. You’re getting to know each other better to see if you want to take it to the next level. Think of it as a stepping stone to a long-term relationship.
Exclusive Relationship: After you spend some time dating exclusively, the next step is to make it an exclusive relationship. (This is where “the talk” comes in.) You’ve verbally solidified the relationship and have both consciously decided to be solely committed to each other. You’re finally official and looking to the future as a couple.

When you’re in an exclusive relationship, you’ve probably met each other’s friends and family, can imagine getting married or having kids together, and are committed to working through problems as they arise. You communicate, support each other, and aren’t afraid to be vulnerable when it comes to your needs.

2. Are You Ready to Be In an Exclusive Relationship?

An exclusive relationship is all about being monogamous — meaning, you’re exclusively committed to one person. You’ve been dating someone awesome, spending all of your time together, and you realize you don’t want to see anyone else. You’re ready to make it exclusive!

Of course, monogamy isn’t for everyone (and that’s okay). But if you’re dating someone and think you’re ready to make it an exclusive relationship, here are some signs it’s the right move:

You find yourself prioritizing your partner’s needs over your own
You’re able to (and want to) open up to each other
You don’t let little arguments affect your relationship
You’ve met each other’s friends and family
You’ve lost interest in dating other people (and ignore advances)
There’s an emotional component to your relationship — it’s not just about sex (although it is amazing)
You’re comfortable enough to be yourselves around each other
You’re genuinely happy to be around each other (and aren’t a fan of being apart)
You love “showing each other off”
You’re upset at the thought of losing each other
You trust each other
You’ve already talked about the future

Does this sound like you? If so, you’re probably ready to kick your relationship up a notch!

Get real, expert advice about your exclusive relationship by downloading the Relish app — your first 7 days are free!

3.

Having “The Talk”

When you’re exclusively dating, there’s an implication that you’re only seeing each other. When you want it to become an exclusive relationship, however, it’s super important to talk about it. Why? Because you respect each other! You want to make it known in every way possible that you only have eyes for each other. It’s never a good idea to just assume you’re in a relationship—you need to have a discussion. So, how do you do it?

If you’re pretty sure you’re both on the same page about the relationship, the conversation comes a little easier. On the other hand, if you’re unsure about where things stand, it can be nerve-racking to bring it up. Here are some tips for having “the talk:”

Do it In person

Sending a text that says “So, you wanna be my boy/girlfriend?” isn’t exactly the smoothest approach. You need to be able to express emotions clearly, and they’ll never come across the right way over the phone. Pick a time and place where you don’t have to rush and give each other time to respond. Eye contact is critical during intimate moments, so be sure to look them in the eyes and speak from the heart!

Plan What You’re Going to Say

It doesn’t have to be scripted or super serious, but it’s good to have a general idea of how you want to approach the conversation. Why do you want to be exclusive? What is it about your partner that makes you happy to commit? Let your guard down, embrace your vulnerability, and tell them how you really feel.

Be Prepared for All Possible Outcomes

In a perfect world, you’ll express how you feel and the other person will reciprocate it—but we all know it doesn’t always work out that way. It’s possible that the other person won’t want to commit, whether it’s because they’re afraid of getting too close or just aren’t ready for a monogamous relationship. Whatever the case, be sure to remain respectful of their decision. (Who knows, things might work out down the road!)

Remember that there’s no right or wrong time to have “the talk. ” Every couple is different. Some decide to begin an exclusive relationship after three months, some after three dates. It’s all about your connection with the other person! If it feels right, then trust your gut — it’s probably good timing.

4. How to Know You’re in an Exclusive Relationship

We’ve covered the signs that show you’re ready for an exclusive relationship, but what are the signs you’re actually in one? Aside from proclaiming your commitment to each other, there are clear-cut signs that exclusive romance is in the air. Let’s take a look at some of them:

You’re automatically assumed to be each other’s “plus one”
You make concrete future plans, whether they’re for a date night or vacation
You’re close with each other’s friends and families
You never have to worry about not hearing from each other
You spend holidays together
You make it “social media official” through photos or your relationship status (not necessary, but definitely a sign!)
You’re all about the PDA
You refer to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend when talking to other people
You spend most nights together
You have toothbrushes, clothes, and other personal items at each other’s places
You’ve talked about your future together (marriage, moving in together, kids, etc. )
You turn to each other first with big news, whether it’s good or bad
You’ve had a big fight and worked through it (and even came out stronger)

The main characteristic of an exclusive relationship is commitment—there’s no uncertainty surrounding your devotion to each other. You’re comfortable, happy, and confident that you’re with the right person. (It’s a great feeling, right?) Being in an exclusive relationship feels natural. You just...fit. You’ve found “your person” and the “honeymoon phase” has just begun!

Keep your relationship happy long after the honeymoon phase. Unlock your 7-day free trial with Relish and talk with real, expert relationship coaches!

5. Signs That Someone Isn’t Ready for an Exclusive Relationship

While there are plenty of signs that someone is ready for an exclusive relationship, there are also plenty that show they’re not. If the person you’re seeing is seemingly insecure, unreliable, or sending mixed signals, they probably aren’t thinking about anything serious. Here are some other signs someone might not be ready for an exclusive relationship:

They don’t seem to be over a past relationship
They have trust issues
They aren’t prioritizing time with the person they’re dating
They still want to see other people
They seem emotionally distant
They don’t always respond to texts/calls
They frequently flake on plans

If someone isn’t into the idea of an exclusive relationship, it might not be very hard to tell. While you may feel like things are going well (and things really could be great), they’ll seem to take a turn whenever the topic of being exclusive is brought up. They may say they’re open to it, but remember—actions speak louder than words! If you feel like someone isn’t ready to commit, it can be disappointing, but it’s also an opportunity to find someone equally excited about being in a relationship.

Being in an exclusive relationship can be incredibly rewarding, especially if you’ve found the right person! It’s the first step toward a long-lasting, healthy partnership. If you’re ready to go from dating to exclusive, remember to be as honest as possible about your feelings to ensure you’re both on the same page. An exclusive relationship is an exciting milestone for you and your partner, so above all else, enjoy it!

Even the healthiest of exclusive relationships could use a little help! Download the Relish app for access to therapist-approved quizzes, lessons, and advice from real relationship coaches. (And your first week is free!)

By Caitlin Killoren on Sep 22, 2021

With a degree in Psychology and over a decade of experience, Caitlin has made improving people's relationships both her career and her passion. Her work has been featured in publications like Bustle, Well + Good, and Goalcast, and she currently resides in Austin, Texas with her husband and giant fluffy dog, Remy.

Free relationships: pitfalls, surface reefs and funny sharks

StoriesMen's Rules Boring! Don't click!

This sounds extremely seductive to both sexes. You and I live together or almost live together, because we are wonderful and treat each other well, even, what is there, we love each other. At the same time, no one requires anything from anyone, we remain free, like the spring wind.

And if one of us wants to experience butterflies in the stomach, dancing in honor of a new love, or, let's say, just have quivering meetings with a dozen mulattos, then you are welcome. The other won't say a word, won't lift an eyebrow, and it won't affect our relationship in any way, because we (there are options):

✔ free-thinking modern people;
✔ love each other in a special way;
✔ first of all - friends;
✔ cynics and debauchees;
✔ creative people;
✔ bisexual transgender people;
✔ porn workers
and so on.

But it doesn't work. That doesn't work at all! World practice does not know when it would work, because even in the harems of the sultans, even in the primitive tribes who practiced promiscuity, even with Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir, all this inevitably turned into a nightmare of insults, hard drinking and throwing heavy objects .

Even Suleiman the Magnificent, when a legitimate new concubine was brought to him, trembled with fear, lest dearest Roksolana sniff out about it. Even Prince Genji, who settled in his estate a dozen of the first beauties of the capital, for the most part went to these beauties to drink sweet sake and talk about chrysanthemums, because if he lingered in their chambers also to discuss cherry blossoms, the incomparable Murasaki, and here you won’t get off with a peaceful playing on the seven-stringed koto.

This is something like a law of physics, one of Planck's constants: "Open relationships are either very short or very painful" .

But there is one exception. An open relationship can be long if the partners categorically do not care about each other. If they don't even like each other. And together, for example, because he is the king, and she is the queen of France. Here, Henry of Navarre and Queen Margot did something like this, although it was not easy for them either.

And everyone else has nothing to count on. Here are seven main reasons why you will fail.

1. Distrust

No matter what we say to each other and to ourselves, in the depths of our souls each of us realizes that the partner does not truly love us. At least not in love. We know very well that if he had a real passion for us, he would not agree to share us with anyone. The nature of passion is a rather greedy thing. Therefore, an open relationship is always a little second-class: "I'm with you because it's so convenient for me, but you are generally nothing." And no one likes to feel second class. This inevitably leads to the next problem.

2. Insecurity

A close person is someone you can rely on, no matter what happens. Therefore, strong large families are powerful protection not only from external shocks, but also from internal problems. The child knows that the mother will always protect him; the wife is sure that the husband will risk his life to save her; the husband has no doubt that, if something goes wrong, the wife will sit by his bedside and kick her ass in order to get the best medicines and find the best doctors. Because a mother has nothing more important than children, a husband has no one closer than his wife.

This sense of security and reliability is, in general, the biggest asset of a family. In an open relationship, this reliability is rather illusory. Behind the non-exclusivity, so to speak, of the contract. The question "Why do I give half of my salary to cover the debts of a girl who sleeps with some Kolya from the gym?" will periodically pop up in the most modern and free-thinking brain.

Meanwhile, the girl will involuntarily think about why the hell she is wasting a wonderful Friday evening to change anti-hemorrhoid bandages for a citizen who every Saturday comes to Yulechka from the philological faculty.

3. Time

Perhaps Sultan Suleiman had enough time to hang out with his entire harem while terrorizing Hungary and driving the Knights Hospitaller off Rhodes. Perhaps the globe was then larger and spinning more slowly. But most of the people who live now have a catastrophic lack of time even to lie down with their one and only girlfriend in an embrace for a couple of seasons of Game of Thrones.

If there are more than two girls, this, frankly, does not improve the situation. Therefore, "open relationships" also mean that you will see each other much less than the average monogamous couple. And this is not necessarily for the best. The frequency of direct contacts for our species is a very important sign that allows us to separate "us" from "strangers".

In addition, if one of the partners leads a free life full of adventures at the very time when the other is sitting at home and sadly thinking that it would be nice if you came to him with a bottle of raspberry lemonade and kissed him on the nose, this is again does not strengthen the union. Because union is when lemonade is sure to come.

Glossary of promiscuity: what not to confuse with an open relationship

Open relationship

A relationship in which the partners, while agreeing that they are a permanent couple, do not limit each other in casual or permanent relationships.

Exclusive relationship

A relationship in which the partners agree that they are a permanent couple and commit not to have sex with anyone but each other.

Casual relationship

Brief, usually one-time interaction with a pleasant stranger that included sex.

Permanent connection

Regular sex with a person with whom you, however, do not have a more serious relationship: you are not a couple and not spouses.

Open marriage

A marriage in which spouses allow each other to have lovers, but only approved by the other spouse.

Adultery

Relationship between a married person and a third party. Usually highly disapproved by the other spouse, although variations are possible.

4. Health

Yes, wonderfully effective means of protection against all sorts of unpleasant infections have been invented today, and yet none of them will give an absolute guarantee that your free high relations will not be overshadowed by the base need to treat chlamydia, gonorrhea or something something even worse.

And the partner who received such a gift, most likely, will not be delighted. And to such an extent that from the bright temple of your feelings there may be a miserable pile of fragments with a direction sticking out of them to the skin care dispensary as a sad banner. But we have not yet mentioned possible pregnancies with unclear paternity!

5. Others

Open relationships usually involve the presence of participants in the situation who, by the way, did not give consent to such complexities and who can misunderstand and spoil everything. And not only they can, but they will almost certainly spoil it.

Especially if you tell them the whole truth and explain how everything works here. If we look at the adherents of open marriage, Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir, already mentioned here, we will see that those Russian students and American writers with whom these masters of French philosophy and literature had affairs suffered the most from this freedom. These "others" were either desperately jealous, or trying to make friends with the other half and become full members of the family, and having become them, to survive the excess from the house.

Scandals, dramas, suicide attempts, lawsuits, hatred, blackmail and revenge, revenge, revenge! And then, successively, Sartre made Simone unhappy, and Simon, Sartre. All this, of course, gave depth to their books on human suffering and misfortune. But if you are not chasing the Nobel Prize in this area yet, then the game is not worth the candle.

And yes, you can't hope that all your novels will be random and short-lived. That nameless beauty from the club, with whom you planned to spend a few pleasant hours, may well turn into Marina, crying into your girlfriend’s vest three times a week, asking you to return you to her, Marina, immediately.

6. Jealousy

Let's just take a quote from a psychology textbook:

The dominant approach to dealing with jealousy is the concept of evolutionary psychology. One of the leaders in this area, who seriously studies jealousy, is D. Buss. Representatives of this approach argue that jealousy is a natural evolutionary mechanism necessary for adapting and maintaining relationships.

Bass considers jealousy as follows: in the history of mankind, the infidelity of a partner has always posed a threat of destruction of relationships, and, consequently, certain threats to the person himself. For a man, the infidelity of a woman and the loss of a partner could mean the impossibility of procreation. For a woman, the loss of a partner could mean the loss of livelihood resources.

So, the problem is that this D. Bass, like hundreds of his like-minded people, is right: jealousy is an important evolutionary program of our species (and not only ours, we note), the most natural element of our psyche. When you or your girlfriend says "I'm not jealous (not jealous)", then the probability that you are telling the truth is approximately equal to the probability that you are telling the truth, saying "I was born with three legs. " Such large-scale mutations, of course, happen, but extremely rarely.

We can not be jealous of our partner because of his physical (and emotional) closeness with a competitor in one case: if we do not consider him our partner. That is, not we, but our evolutionary "I". And since our evolutionary "I" is very economic and does not scatter partners, we are jealous even of those partners that we do not really value. So an open relationship will inevitably and regularly hurt each of you. Even if you try very hard not to notice this pain - whistle, joke and even say to yourself: “This is all nonsense, a matter of life, I love not her body, but her soul ... And with whom is this body now hanging around, I would like to know? »

7. Someone becomes more important

When we hug, kiss and put a stranger to bed with us, there is always a chance that in our arms he will cease to be a stranger to us. Such close emotional and physical contact as sex always carries the risk (or chance) of experiencing the strongest mutual affection. The one that some optimists call love. And the more often we experiment with the freedom of relationships, the more we hug and kiss others, the more likely it is to become very firmly involved in new relationships that do not promise any freedom.

Of course, "love another" happens in ordinary couples, but for couples with an open relationship, the probability of getting this lucky ticket jumps up to ninety-nine percent. So start an open relationship, but it will be very nice if these relationships do not have apartments, careers, and even more so children at stake. Because you should not try to build a strong house on such a shaky foundation.

When an open relationship is still appropriate

■ When neither you nor she talk about love, but simply decide that it is pleasant for you to sometimes sleep and meet together. At the same time, you do not live together and do not even call each other daily. And both of you understand that this is not for long.

■ When you were married for fifteen years, had children together, and then separated forever, but sometimes you sleep together and watch Game of Thrones.

■ When one of the two has such serious health problems that sex is out of the question, but you do not want to leave and agree that “sometimes it is possible, but it is desirable that no one knows about it, First of all, me."

■ When you've been friends so long that you don't live that long, and sometimes have sex in a purely friendly way at a time when neither she nor you are in any serious relationship.

Ilya Kirdanov

Viktor Bogorad

What do exclusive relationships mean? - Psychological Center "Transfiguration"

Published: 01/30/2022 in the sections: Family Psychology and Family Therapy

When a relationship with a person develops successfully, you may want to establish an exclusive relationship with him. An exclusive relationship implies that both partners intend to focus on each other and give up relationships with other people. Exclusive relationships are usually a natural progression towards more committed, monogamous relationships.

How does an exclusive relationship affect life?

Relationship impact

Exclusivity status often serves as a trial period for relationships as people experience this deeper level of commitment and recognize their partner in a new role. Exclusivity can be a trial period during which you and your partner can test and determine if you can handle and enjoy this relationship development. This allows you to make commitments without taking on the bigger labels and all the expectations and changes that may come with them. This degree of commitment is likely to lead to a sense of comfort and increased security in the relationship. As a result, relationships often become deeper.

Effects on mental health

Many people experience a sense of comfort and calm during this phase of a relationship. This happens because they leave the boundaries, where they constantly doubt their significance and role in the life of a partner. Eliminating these doubts can free up free time to get to know the other person better. In addition, you can open yourself up more and avoid the fear of being abandoned.

Signs of readiness for an exclusive relationship

Spend a lot of time together. If your partner is a significant part of your life, then this may be a sign of readiness for a permanent relationship.
Disputes and quarrels were resolved. Another important point is the presence of small quarrels or misunderstandings that you were able to handle. Small conflicts in the early stages of a relationship are very important. They allow you to understand how you will work together to cope with problems in the future. In addition, disagreements can show whether they will strengthen your relationship or alienate you from each other.
Imagine this person in the future. A good sign if you envision a future with your partner. For example, you may want to imagine his presence at a family gathering or suggest attending an important event.
I don't feel like going on dates with other people. Not interested in wasting time, energy and attention on dates or romantic relationships with other people.
Set priorities and find time for each other. Each of you makes sure to give each other the time and attention that is necessary to form and maintain a healthy relationship.

First of all, clearly define for yourself what you would like from your partner. As a general rule, don't start the conversation by asking questions like "Who are we?". This gives your partner all the power, and dooms you to a passive position. Instead, be clear about what you want and make sure they want the same.

Talk in person

Once you've made it clear that you want an exclusive relationship, talk to your partner about it in person if possible. Although it may seem difficult, it is the best way to discuss such issues. After all, this will allow you to assess the reaction of your partner, and you will have fewer opportunities for misunderstanding.

Learn more

What does it mean to be in an exclusive relationship