What does being needy mean
How to Stop Being Needy or Clingy in a Relationship
Have you ever been told that you're too needy? Has your current or a past partner ever accused you of being clingy or dependent? While your intentions may be entirely good, being too needy in a relationship is anything but that.
What Is Being Needy?
Neediness is an excessive need for acceptance or affection that results in that person repeatedly becoming overly attached to people and depending on them too much.
An insecure attachment is often the culprit behind clinginess in relationships, according to relationship expert Jaime Bronstein, LCSW. "It occurs because the person fears that they will be abandoned in some way or unloved, and it most often stems from childhood and their relationship (or lack of relationship) with one or both parents," she says. "In addition, an insecure attachment style can develop from previous romantic relationships if the person felt like they weren't prioritized or didn't receive enough attention or love from their significant other. "
Meet the Expert
- Jaime Bronstein, LCSW is a relationship therapist, coach, and the host of “Love Talk Live” on LA Talk Radio.
- Leslie Becker-Phelps, Ph.D, is a licensed psychologist focused on improving relationships. She is the author of Bouncing Back from Rejection: Build the Resilience You Need to Get Back Up When Life Knocks You Down; Love: The Psychology of Attraction; and Insecure in Love: How Insecure Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It
You may enjoy spending time with your partner, but it’s imperative to have some boundaries in place. With a bit of work and self-awareness, you can learn how to stop being clingy and feel more fulfilled in your relationship.
Read on for expert advice that will help you go from needy to self-sufficient.
What Are Signs of Clingy Behavior in a Relationship?
"It is important to distinguish having needs from being needy," says Becker-Phelps. "Having a need for acceptance and affection is part of being human and is part of what drives people to want close relationships. There is nothing wrong with it, but some people don’t feel comforted or reassured when someone shows caring, so they keep reaching out for more and become needy." Many clingy behaviors are fear-based, adds Bronstein, and can often be a response to past experiences with a parent or ex-partner who was unreliable or inconsistent with their words or actions. Whatever the cause, there are some clear signs of clingy behavior, including:
- Not giving your partner space or alone time, especially if they have specifically requested it
- Calling or texting your SO nonstop when you're not together
- Panicking if your partner does not respond to your texts or calls
- Monitoring your partner's behavior on social media
- Feeling threatened by your partner's friends or coworkers of the opposite sex
- Attempting to rush into a more serious relationship
- Deceptively creating an image of yourself that your partner finds attractive
- Trying to force a partner to love you
- Attempting to earn someone’s love by doing things they like (and abandoning yourself in the process)
- Asking for reassurance often or frequently asking your partner if they love you
- Being constantly on the lookout for being rejected or betrayed
- Controlling behaviors, such as wanting to track your significant other's location on your phone
If you find yourself, your partner, or someone you know engaging in any or all of these behaviors, it's a sign of relationship insecurity and clinginess. "Someone who loves themselves and feels confident in themselves and the relationship will be able to be apart and not worry," says Bronstein. "They will feel inner peace and stability whether they are with their significant other or not." Conversely, someone who is needy in their relationship will experience anxiety over their partner's commitment to them.
In some cases, the behavior may stem from your partner giving you a significant reason to worry by betraying you in the past through cheating, philandering, or otherwise. "In that case, I suggest that you work through the trust issue with a therapist, counselor, or coach, because it's not healthy to be in a relationship that doesn't have trust coming from both parties," says Bronstein.
How to Stop Being Clingy in Your Relationship
Put Down the Phone
If you tend to be the needy type, you may be used to constantly contacting your partner throughout the day. Whether via text, talking on the phone, or sending pictures, articles, and emails, your days may currently consist of endless back and forth. However, while you may simply miss your partner and enjoy being in close contact with them at all times, this can come off as clingy. Rather than giving your partner space to be able to concentrate on other matters, take on the day, and have some downtime, you may be bombarding, distracting, or annoying them. If you find yourself doing this to distract yourself or procrastinate from doing tasks you don't particularly favor, consider switching it up and texting a friend instead or finding a different outlet for your focus like going for a walk or meditating.
When you feel the urge to frequently contact your partner, it’s important to put down the phone. Put it in a box or give it to a friend. Instead, use that time to focus on yourself rather than reaching out.
Pursue Your Own Passions
Being needy in a relationship can often stem from a person’s lack of other interests and hobbies. Strive to have your own life away from your partner and make your personal passions and pursuits a priority. Having activities and pastimes that are important to you can help you to find your own path that’s separate from your partner and create a more whole and fulfilling life for yourself. "Spend more time focusing on your life because your life matters," says Bronstein. "Find other things and people besides your love to spend time with and find activities or hobbies that bring you joy," she continues. "When you are in your joy, you are present, and you don't worry about things, so I highly recommend being in your joy as much as possible."
Beginning or picking back up a hobby that inspires you is a great way to invest in yourself. Further, advancing in a hobby will offer you a sense of achievement, therefore boosting your confidence and self-esteem. By taking a spin class, signing up for piano lessons, or joining a book club, you’re helping yourself to become less needy by having your own life. This will make you more independent, interesting, and engaging. It will open you up to making friendships with people who enjoy the same things, and build a community for yourself that doesn't rely on one singular connection—a support system you could rely on if things get rocky in your romantic relationship. Plus, you won't find yourself feeling so lost when your partner is absent or doing their own things.
Give Your Partner Space
You may not like your partner doing things without you. Whether it’s having dinner with friends, going out to a bar, or seeing a movie, needy people in relationships have a hard time with the fact that their partner has a life away from them. However, it’s vitally important to the health and success of your relationship that your partner is able to do and enjoy things without you, as it’s the unique facets of your personality that make you a better team. Since you’re a couple and not a clone of your partner, you should support your SO's endeavors and desire to go golfing with friends or have a girls' night. This way you’re showing your partner that you care about their needs, that you’re secure in the relationship, and that you place a priority on their happiness—even if it doesn't always include you.
Stop Being Jealous
It’s not uncommon for people to behave in a needy way because they’re jealous or worried about their partner’s loyalty or possible infidelity. "Jealousy is related to fear of rejection or abandonment," explains Becker-Phelps. "When a person is inclined toward unfounded jealousy, they are experiencing an emotional need to hold onto (or cling to) a partner they fear might leave them." For example, you may insist on texting your partner throughout the day because you’re worried about his or her relationship with a cute coworker. Or you may want to hang out with your partner 24/7 because you don't trust their behavior in your absence.
However, being envious and mistrusting is only going to push the two of you further apart. Since relationships are based on mutual trust, your clingy nature is actually showing your partner that you don’t believe or have faith in him or her or in the strength of your connection. On the other hand, if you choose to trust your partner and work through these jealous feelings and emotions, you'll be far less needy, more relaxed mentally, and your relationship is far more likely to succeed.
Build Your Self-Esteem
"People who have this problem often struggle with feeling inadequate, flawed, or in some way deficient," explains Becker-Phelps. "When others show them caring, they don’t really believe or take it in—but feeling desperate for reassurance, they keep trying to elicit it (even when it’s already been given)." In many cases, being needy stems from a misconception that you need others around at all times for help and support. While it may seem challenging at first, it’s time to recognize that you're able to accomplish things on your own without anyone by your side. You’ll soon recognize that you’re able to have achievements on your own, and that it’s okay to spend time alone and do things without relying on others. Learn to become your own best friend, lover, and support system, and you'll feel much more fortified and self-assured in any situation, regardless of who else is there. "When a person feels more positively about themselves, they are more likely to believe when someone else feels positively towards them," adds Becker-Phelps.
You may even grow to enjoy these moments by yourself and complete tasks and projects on your own or simply relish the freedom of solitude and the opportunities for introspection, creativity, and tranquility that it can bring. If you work toward improving your confidence, self-esteem, and ability to be more self-sufficient, you’ll realize you can flourish and succeed whether in a partnership or on your own. It can be as simple as starting with self-affirmations. "List out your positive traits or strengths and think about how you see them in your life," suggests Becker-Phelps. "Practice doing this with different strengths or situations to help you acknowledge and appreciate positives about yourself."
Talk to Your Partner
If you recognize that your behavior is needy or you can sense that your partner is becoming irritated, it's best to be open with them and have a conversation. "Be honest with your significant other about your clingy behavior; own your behavior instead of blaming them," says Bronstein. For example, don't blame the number of people they dated before you for your inability to trust them fully or tell them if they answered your texts faster you wouldn't have to check in so often. Be willing to apologize and let them know you will try your best to change your actions. Finally, advises Bronstein, ask your partner what they need from you in terms of behavior change. This will offer you some guidance as you begin to be more independent in your relationship.
Be mindful of different love languages and the ways that a person can show up in a relationship. "If you believe you are in a relationship with a healthy, caring partner, practice consciously being open to the ways your partner shows their caring," says Becker-Phelps. "You may find that attending to this makes you uncomfortable. While you recognize the discomfort, continue to challenge yourself in staying with the awareness of the ways they show they care and to being open to feeling that caring."
Spend Time With Friends and Family
Spending time with people who lift you up is one of the best ways to gain confidence and feel more secure in both yourself and your relationship. "I encourage my clients to surround themselves with people who build them up, with who they feel comfortable being around, and who love them unconditionally," says Bronstein. Being with good friends and family is also a great distraction from any negative or anxious thoughts you may be having about your partner. "Spending time with caring others or doing things that you enjoy can also help you be more open to caring relationships," adds Becker-Phelps
Be sure to only spend time with people who leave you feeling loved and accepted, since hanging out with people who make you feel bad about yourself can leave you feeling more insecure than before and therefore more likely to exhibit clingy behavior. Bronstein says she inspires her clients to permit themselves to stop associating with anyone toxic or who brings them down.
Establish and Respect Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are a sign of respect for the relationship that you have with your partner as well as the relationship you have with yourself. They communicate that you have an awareness of your own needs and identity outside of a relationship and value them greatly. This sets the tone for how you expect others to treat you because it is how you treat yourself. It also provides insight and empathy for any boundaries your partner may have.
"When you are loving toward your partner while also setting boundaries, you show them that you care even when you enforce some needed distance," says Becker-Phelps. "Hopefully with time they will begin to trust in your love. Importantly, it is best to do this from a caring or vulnerable position rather than from an angry position that will likely just increase your partner’s anxiety." For example, a boundary might look like asking your partner to not call or text after your bedtime. Instead of defaulting to blaming or accusations, start the dialogue with I-statements that reflect your perspective and feelings.
Address Your Relationship Anxiety Through Therapy
Professional support can help you address your relationship anxiety by developing a more positive relationship with yourself, which will in turn allow yo to open up to others. "Talk in therapy about your struggles," urges Becker-Phelps. "As you do, it can help greatly to develop greater self-awareness from a compassionate perspective. As you gain a better understanding of your anxiety, you can also practice seeing yourself from a more understanding and compassionate perspective." She goes on to add that working with a therapist who you trust and connect with can also help provide a better understanding of others.
Clingy behavior is caused by an insecure attachment style defined by the fear of abandonment or rejection from a partner. It often stems from an inconsistent or nonexistent relationship with one or both parents in childhood but can also develop from previous romantic relationships where the person did not feel prioritized or loved by their partner.
Clinginess in a relationship means one partner is exhibiting behavior that is needy, suffocating, dependent, obsessive, or jealous, often resulting from a negative self image. Clinginess manifests in behaviors like demanding constant physical proximity, lack of independence or autonomy, a need for constant communication, and frequently asking for reassurance, help, or comfort.
Let your partner know how much you love and appreciate them and understand their anxiety. Openly communicate how you feel about their clingy behavior and be specific about why it bothers you without casting blame. Support them as they struggle with their anxiety and encourage them to work on finding a greater sense of security within themselves while remaining firm in your boundaries. "It is tempting to try to reassure them enough that they stop feeling anxious and fearing rejection but that usually ends in frustration because the neediness and clinging is about how they experience themselves more than about the current relationship with you," adds Becker-Phelps.
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What Does It Mean to Be Needy in Relationships?
We often desire affection and assurance from our partners, but at what point does seeking attention become a red flag?
It’s natural to feel the need for your partner to demonstrate how much they care about you. It can be the little gestures of affection in relationships that make you feel valued, appreciated, and loved.
Increasingly demanding and urging for more than your partner is already giving, however, can sometimes be referred to as being needy in a relationship.
But what does it really mean to be needy and how can you approach the situation without judgment?
Labeling someone as “needy” can be subjective. It can depend on your personality, culture, and background, as much as it can depend on theirs.
What you may assess as needy, may be the standard for someone else. It’s important, then, to try to approach this topic without judgment and with compassion.
If you’re unaccustomed to regular displays of affection, for example, someone’s need for physical and verbal expressions of love could feel excessive to you.
Wanting to be in touch throughout the day, when you’re used to checking in only once a day, can also read as needy behavior.
Everyone has different emotional and relationship needs.
Needing constant reassurance or avoiding a breakup at all costs, even when the relationship doesn’t work, may be a sign that something else is happening, though.
Some of the behaviors that could be labeled as needy in a relationship, but in reality point to something else, include:
- a push for continuous conversation (texting, calling, emailing, social media posting)
- persistently asking for reaffirmations of love
- seeking out compliments
- wanting to spend every moment together
- difficulty making decisions alone
- anger or sadness when partner spends time with other people
- pessimism toward the relationship or cycling pessimism and optimism
- sensitivity to criticism, even when delivered gently
- need for reassurance, not just in the relationship, but often in other areas of life
- acting jealous without evident cause
If you’re reading this wondering, “Am I needy?” you may benefit from looking beyond your current relationship and at your history as a whole.
- Are you seeing the same behavioral patterns in all your relationships, or is it unique to this situation?
- Have you had a recent loss or a significant change in your life that’s making you feel insecure or in need of extra support?
- Is your partner persistently detached or unexpressive?
- Have you experienced infidelity or manipulation in this relationship?
Differences in attachment styles and relationship expectations, as well as core personality components, can also create a dynamic that may lead to a false sense of someone being needy.
If your partner, for example, isn’t used to communicating when or where they’ll be, you might find you’re checking up on them more regularly than you typically would.
Or, you may be with a partner who isn’t as emotionally available. To them, your emotional needs may feel overwhelming.
This doesn’t mean you’re needy. It might be that you both experience romantic relationships differently, or that the relationship itself needs a closer look.
“Needy” is not a clinical diagnosis. It’s a general term used to describe behaviors often viewed as clingy or attention-seeking. But again, this can depend on culture, background, or relationship goals.
Behaviors labeled as needy often have deeper psychological roots. Some of these may be explained through researcher Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs theory.
While the theory has undergone critique and modification since its introduction in 1943, the core construct remains: Human needs arise from a perceived deficiency in important aspects of your life.
These needs include:
- physiological (survival needs)
- love and belongingness
- esteem and ego
- self-actualization (the drive to seek self-fulfillment and growth)
Some of your experiences may lead you to feel voids in certain aspects of your life, which in turn could make you develop unhealthy relationship patterns.
Reasons for someone to exhibit needy behaviors include:
- fear of abandonment
- dependent personality disorder
- borderline personality disorder
- emotional dependence
- childhood trauma
- insecure attachment styles
- history of domestic violence
- trust concerns
- low self-esteem
- witnessing the same behaviors during childhood
- anxiety disorders
Only a trained mental health professional can explore the root cause of someone’s behavior in a relationship. If you feel you or your partner may have faced challenges that are impacting your bond, talking with a therapist can help.
It’s natural to have a reaction when someone else’s relationship style is significantly different from yours.
Openly talking about your individual emotional needs can help establish clear expectations for both of you.
Understanding that what some people may label as needy behaviors often come from unresolved emotional wounds may help you focus on empathy and support.
If you feel you or your partner may be facing other personal challenges, talking about it can also help. It may also be a good idea to avoid judgment and to seek professional help.
A mental health professional can help you explore the root cause of some of these behaviors as well as how to set boundaries in your relationship. You and your partner can both learn what unmet needs are driving these behaviors.
When you have a better understanding of the dynamics at place, you can work together on a way to move forward and strengthen your bond.
When you understand where needy behaviors come from, you can start to work toward ways to satisfy those unmet needs. A mental health professional can help.
This process may involve managing an underlying mental health condition or reassessing limiting core beliefs. Working on coping skills to heal trauma may also help.
You may also benefit from self-building strategies such as:
- practicing self-compassion
- learning to be assertive
- setting personal boundaries (being comfortable saying “no”)
- acknowledging your positives and strengths
- doing activities that are empowering
- tackling challenges on your own
- speaking to yourself in positive and loving language
- learning skills that help you feel self-sufficient
- helping others succeed
- surrounding yourself with positive, supportive relationships
- identifying relationship behaviors you shouldn’t tolerate
Labeling someone as needy is a judgment call that may hurt more than help. What some people may label needy, other people might consider healthy romantic behavior.
In some cases, though, needing constant reassurance and being afraid of not being loved may signal deeper emotional wounds.
These emotional wounds and unmet needs may lead you or your partner to act in ways that could be difficult to manage.
Speaking with a mental health professional can help you discover the causes of neediness. It could also help you work on your relationship from a place of compassion and understanding.
Healing emotional wounds is possible and often leads to stronger and more stable relationships.
Meaning, Definition, Suggestions . What is it like to need help
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The meaning of the word "NEED"
To be in need, poverty.
See all meanings of the word NEED
Meaning of the word "B"
See all meanings of the word В
Meaning of the word "HELP"
See all meanings of HELP
Sentences with "need help"0058
Who will Shelley go to when she needs help?
They can do simple housework but nothing more, and begin to need help with personal care and hygiene beyond simple reminders.
Labour-intensive assets such as farms can hire labor if they generate sufficient income, but poor households may need their children to help with these assets.
This number is projected to reach 21 million by 2030, when 40% of Americans over 70 will need help.
However, on November 6, 1914, Maxwell announced that Egypt would not need British military assistance.
More charismatic marine animals such as whales or coral reefs make it easy to forget about other marine creatures that need our help.
And for patients in need of emergency care - free of charge.
We could tell taxpayers we can save you 31.6% by leaving people who need it without help.
People in South Sudan need more help than you.
The fact is that we are sure that children do not need our help, because they are with technology on you.
(Applause) We all need help throughout our lives, and it's important that we can support each other.
At the same time, we adults behave as if we are weaker, need more help and cannot cope with many things.
When someone has obsessive suicidal thoughts, they need urgent medical attention.
That there are children who need primary health care,
Vocal Adrenaline does not need such help from us.
You are in a community service designed to help those in need, including the elderly and the infirm.
The Council no longer needs your help on this matter.
He is always ready to help anyone who needs help.
Timo needs help for a child Psychotherapist and you will write a referral.
And I am grateful to you, but I no longer need your help.
Brave men on both sides are in urgent need of medical attention.
He needs help, but he does not dare to ask for it.
You will slam the door on women who are in desperate need of help.
I needed the help of someone with genuine knowledge, not a charlatan with a grotesque entourage.
These cries come from an unfortunate person who needs my help.
People need help, not such heartless and insensitive encouragement.
Sorry to bother you, but Mrs. Harris and I need your help.
Thank you for your concern, but we don't need that kind of help.
We have 7 people here in need of urgent medical care.
Mandarin Nomuri needed a lot of help, and seducing women with sign language is very difficult.
This page provides the definition (meaning) of the phrase / expression "need help", as well as synonyms, antonyms and sentences, if they are available in our database. We strive to make the English-Grammar.Biz explanatory dictionary, including the interpretation of the phrase / expression "need help", as correct and informative as possible. If you have suggestions or comments about the correctness of the definition of "need help", please write to us in the "Feedback" section.
Why do we continue to love those who mistreat us?
Know yourselfMan and womanMan among people
Models of behavior with a partner we bring from childhood. Extremely simplifying, we can say that we reproduce in a couple the relationships that we have with our parents.
In examining children's attitudes towards parents who beat, left them alone, or humiliated them, the American psychologist David P. Selani found that these children, contrary to common sense, were very attached to these parents. Why?
The origins of addiction
Communicating with a parent, the child gradually "introjects", that is, absorbs, learns his ways of behavior, reactions, responses to different situations. If a parent comforts a child, then the child will eventually learn to comfort himself. And stop needing a parent—or at least needing so much.
Actually, this is exactly how, step by step, children gain independence in order to eventually start their own adult life and build equal relationships with other people.
The child does not know anything about how parents "should" treat children
But what if the parent treats the child badly? The child will mistreat himself. Paradoxically, this binds it even more strongly to the parent. Having not created internal resources due to lack of material, such a child will always be dependent on external ones.
“Growing up, these previously deprived people are very likely to cling to just anyone, not particularly caring about the human qualities of their partners. Because the fear of being abandoned is too great, ”the psychologist writes.
Why does an adult make this choice? After all, a child has no other family, he cannot turn away from a bad parent. And an adult can choose among many other people. However, the possibility of choice for such a person is only an appearance. To choose, you need a criterion, an idea of what you want. But such an idea for someone who grew up with not good enough parents is hopelessly distorted.
Looking for love
The reason for returning to the one who mistreats us is not at all a thirst for suffering, but the result of a peculiar idea of love that developed in childhood. The child does not know anything about how parents "should" treat children. He only knows how his parent treats him. This attitude becomes the standard of love for him.
“For a deprived child, love is a complex combination of contradictory feelings, and not at all a direct feeling that a loving person accepts and appreciates you. On the contrary, love received “free of charge” from a normally developed personality is not perceived as such, it seems to be something alien, having nothing to do with what “love” means in his mind,” Selani explains.
Even the most bad parents occasionally show a sentimental interest in their children. And this "honey spoon" inside the "barrel of tar" turns out to be decisive. She makes the child reach out to the parent and perceive this mixture of sympathy and anger as "correct honey. " Growing up, he does not find other relationships because he does not know how to recognize them and does not look for them.
A child cannot abandon his parents. They are his source of life. Giving them up is like giving up life. But how can he bear the thought that anger and coldness await him? What is happening to him?
First, he considers himself guilty, takes responsibility for the behavior of his parents. They are not bad, but "I am bad." Similarly, women survivors of violence explain that they themselves provoked the attack. Often a blaming partner helps them create guilt—much like parents tell their children that they are punishing them for their own good.
Secondly, the child fantasizes and hopes that maybe today dad will come sober and mom will be affectionate. These thoughts are very pleasant also because he perceives himself at this time as “good”, as deserving a good attitude. The child gets used to building up the image of the parent with the help of active imagination - but this work itself is hidden from his awareness, he does it without even knowing what he is doing.
A suffering person flatly refuses to see reality and gets angry at anyone who dares to point it out
As a result, the child does not have a single, holistic view of himself. He cannot answer himself the question “who am I?”, “What do I want?”. When he grows up, he needs a partner to fill in the gaps in his "I". Therefore, such a strong, albeit harmful for both, connection is formed between them.
For the same reason, a suffering person flatly refuses to see reality and gets angry at anyone who dares to point it out. Therefore, adult children often again and again come to their parents, who refuse them support and tenderness, even if they live separately from them.
The path to change
Everyone who is faced with the task of separating from a partner needs to learn how to be a "mother to himself" - and a "mother" good, kind, comforting.
“A child who is not deprived of the care and attention of his parents is able to collect a large collection of positive memories that in the future will allow him to explore the world around him without fear. The more inner confidence a child has built up, the more willingly he will differentiate from his mother,” writes David Selani.
But where can one get a positive experience who has been deprived of it? This is really a difficult task. The psychologist points out that in the most successful therapeutic process, “it can take three to five years” to restore the patient’s destroyed self-image and teach her to confront the real offender and the horror of dislike that she feels at the thought of separation.
He emphasizes that a woman needs to imprint in her mind the image of an accepting psychotherapist who does not judge her and tries to help her. In the future, she herself will be able to treat herself in this way.
If your friend is being mistreated
It hurts us to see our loved ones being mistreated and want to help them. But for help to be effective, it is useful to take into account some features.
What to do?
- Maintain. When a person is treated badly, his self-esteem, especially unstable, suffers. Remind your friend of the good things you see in her, whether it's looks or abilities. Be truthful: only talk about what you really like.
- Encourage . For those who are preoccupied with their problems, their horizons narrow. Sports or creative activities, walks and trips to the cinema - everything that pushes the boundaries of daily experience, improves mood, is useful. Prompt, invite, keep company and approve if a friend has found entertainment for herself.
- Help find new friends. If you get the chance, introduce your friend to different people, young and old, men and women, who will enjoy her company. This way, she can see that many people can treat her well, without having to make a special effort to do so.
- Consult a specialist. Unfortunately, one's own strength is often not enough to change a difficult situation. A social worker or psychologist can be a resource to help solve the problem. Tell your friend where she can go.
What not to do?
- Do not expose. It is useless to point out to a friend the shortcomings of her partner. She will suspect you of dishonesty or find another way to hide from knowledge that is unbearable for her. Do not criticize him and do not agree if she does it herself. Just listen calmly and let her know that you sympathize with her.
- Don't be offended. Those who live in an atmosphere of violence become insecure and suspicious. Even those who seek to help them are often ascribed bad motives by abuse victims. If a friend suspects you of self-interest or bad intentions, do not get angry or offended. Try to gently dissuade her or just tell her what you really think and feel.
- Do not give in. Due to the psychological overload she has to endure, your friend may take offense at your words or attack you as if you wanted to hurt her. Don't argue, just tell her how you feel about her.
- Do not forget your interests. Those who have a lot of their own problems are not always sensitive enough to strangers.