What causes narcissistic personality disorder in men

What Causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex mental health condition that’s associated with extreme self-involvement, a need for excessive admiration, and a lack of empathy. 

Although we don’t know exactly what causes NPD, experts have studied a number of external factors that are believed to play a role in someone developing this condition. 

Read on to learn everything we know about the causes of narcissistic personality disorder, risk factors, and more. 

What Research Says

What causes narcissistic personality disorder? The truth is, NPD doesn’t have a confirmed cause, but multiple potential factors have been identified. It’s likely that it’s not just one single thing that causes NPD. Rather, researchers believe that people might develop NPD as the result of a combination of factors. 

“Nobody really knows what causes NPD, but it’s said to be a combination of both nature and nurture. The nature aspect says that someone is born with a predisposition to need more validation, reinforcement, and support. But, when combined with an environment that either provides excessive praise or trauma and/or abuse, the outcome can be quite devastating.”

Talkspace therapist Meaghan Rice PsyD., LPC

4 Possible Causes of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

It’s widely accepted that multiple causes can play a role in whether or not someone develops NPD in their lifetime. The following 4 aspects are considered the most likely contributors. 

1. Genetics

Studies suggest that common personality traits linked to NPD—like entitlement and grandiosity—can be inherited. Genetics may also contribute to the type of narcissistic personality disorder someone might develop. Parents with NPD won’t definitely pass these traits on to their children, but their narcissistic personality disorder diagnosis could increase the risk of children developing it. 

It’s also likely that some people are genetically predisposed to NPD. While they may not go on to develop narcissistic traits, they might be at increased risk for NPD if they’re exposed to certain risk factors.  

2. Parenting

A wide range of parental behaviors have been linked in some studies to narcissistic personality disorder. While some parenting practices, such as neglect, maltreatment, and abuse, are actively harmful, other behaviors may come from parents who actually do have good intentions.

For example, over-protectiveness was shown in some studies to increase the risk for both grandiose and vulnerable narcissism. There’s also a correlation between narcissistic personality disorder and parental overvaluation or leniency. Children who receive disproportionate levels of praise for accomplishments, or who aren’t given boundaries, are more likely to show traits linked with NPD later in life. 

Parenting influences children in many ways, but it’s important to note that there’s no single parenting style that can cause NPD. Thus, while certain parenting practices are linked to higher levels of narcissism, it’s clear that parental behaviors aren’t always what causes narcissistic personality disorder.

3. Environmental

The environment that a person grows up in — that is, their culture and upbringing — might also lead to NPD. Maltreatment during childhood appears to potentially increase the risk for NPD in early adulthood. Studies also suggest that narcissistic traits might be more common in individualistic cultures. 

Parenting is a big part of a child’s environment, but other childhood experiences can also play a role in the likelihood of someone later developing NPD, too. For example, some people who experience high levels of bullying during childhood might be more likely to show narcissistic traits, particularly if the abuse continued for a long period of time. Excessive criticism from parents can increase the risk for NPD, but it’s been determined that criticism from other authority figures, like teachers, can have a similar effect. 

“With a predisposition to need more from caregivers, individuals who suffer from NPD tend to be reared in environments where they’re constantly reinforced for everything (without rules, boundaries, or structure), or traumatized, or abused at an early age and left without the ability to process their environmental deficits.

Talkspace therapist Meaghan Rice PsyD., LPC


Recent research has identified biological factors that may play a role in the development of NPD. Studies have found that people with NPD have elevated levels of oxidative stress, a molecular imbalance that can strain the body.

Brain scans show that people with NPD have less gray matter in the parts of the brain that are associated with empathy. Neuroscientists have also found a link between NPD and variations in prefrontal brain structure. More research must be done, but in the future, it might be possible to detect narcissistic personality traits just by looking at someone’s brain. 

Some researchers believe that appearance or physical attributes might even contribute to NPD. Athletic abilities, physical attractiveness, and strength are all associated with higher levels of narcissism. Appearance is, after all, one of many things that are believed to shape someone’s personality.

Risk Factors of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

There are a range of factors that could potentially increase the risk of NPD. For instance, men are more likely to be diagnosed with NPD than women, suggesting that males might have an increased risk for the mental health condition. While research has linked NPD to certain parenting styles, experiences, and cultures, these factors aren’t consistent across all people with NPD. 

Evidence suggests that narcissistic personality disorder doesn’t have a single cause. Instead, it’s likely that NPD is caused by a combination of factors. As an example, someone who’s genetically or biologically predisposed to narcissistic traits may be more likely to develop NPD if they’re also exposed to different risk factors. 

Ultimately, even though experts have identified these risk factors, we simply don’t know what causes narcissistic personality disorder. It’s true that some risk factors can be avoided, but there’s no guaranteed way to prevent the condition. That said, despite us not knowing the causes and having a clear understanding that there’s no cure, people with NPD can improve their symptoms through long-term narcissistic personality disorder treatment. 

Understanding More About Narcissistic Personality Disorder

It’s not unusual for people to display narcissistic traits from time to time. After all, most of us boast about accomplishments or behave inconsiderately occasionally. However, for people with NPD, narcissism can control every aspect of their life, from their personalities to their interpersonal relationships. 

Research suggests that there are probably many additional factors that can contribute to the condition, and it’s likely that we’ll learn more about the condition and narcissistic personality disorder symptoms over time. 

The Importance of Treatment

For now, the most important thing to keep in mind is that narcissistic personality disorder treatment is essential. Left untreated, NPD can lead to great life challenges, including difficulties forming healthy relationships, drug and alcohol abuse, depression, anxiety, and disordered eating.

Thankfully, if you or a loved one has NPD, professional care can have a positive impact. Psychotherapy and other treatments help teach people with NPD to manage their condition and correct negative behaviors. 

It’s common for people with personality disorders like NPD to avoid treatment. While research shows that people with NPD generally have some awareness of their narcissistic behaviors, they may not believe that anything is wrong with them. Thankfully, with encouragement and support, many people with narcissistic personality disorder can be persuaded to seek treatment that will improve their quality of life. When it comes to treating narcissistic personality disorder, forms of talk therapy for narcissistic personality disorder, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, in conjunction with narcissistic personality disorder medication are considered most effective in treating the condition.

If you’re looking for help or support in dealing with narcissistic personality disorder, Talkspace makes it easy. Our online therapy platform means you can get the help you need at your convenience, from the comfort of wherever you are. Reach out today to learn more about how Talkspace can change your life for the better. 

See references

  • Luo Y, Cai H, Song H. A Behavioral Genetic Study of Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Dimensions of Narcissism. PLoS One.
  • van Schie C, Jarman H, Huxley E, Grenyer B. Narcissistic traits in young people: understanding the role of parenting and maltreatment.
  • Vater A, Moritz S, Roepke S. Does a narcissism epidemic exist in modern western societies?
  • Lee R, Gozal D, Coccaro E, Fanning J. Narcissistic and Borderline Personality Disorders: Relationship With Oxidative Stress.
  • Jauk E, Kanske P. Can neuroscience help to understand narcissism? A systematic review of an emerging field.
  • Hoertel N, Peyre H, Lavaud P et al. Examining sex differences in DSM-IV-TR narcissistic personality disorder symptom expression using Item Response Theory (IRT).
  • Vater A, Ritter K, Strunz S, Ronningstam E, Renneberg B, Roepke S. Stability of narcissistic personality disorder: Tracking categorical and dimensional rating systems over a two-year period.
  • Welker L, Simons R, Simons J. Grandiose and vulnerable narcissism: Associations with alcohol use, alcohol problems and problem recognition.
  • Waller G, Sines J, Meyer C, Foster E, Skelton A. Narcissism and narcissistic defences in the eating disorders.
  • Carlson E, Vazire S, Oltmanns T. You probably think this paper’s about you: Narcissists’ perceptions of their personality and reputation.

Causes of Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Childhood, Genes, & More

Upbringing and childhood environment may be key factors in what causes NPD, but genetics could play a role, too.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex personality disorder that’s often misunderstood. When you think of NPD, a grandiose sense of self, deep need for admiration, and difficulty empathizing may come to mind.

Someone with NPD can appear charming and self-assured on the surface. While these charismatic traits may look like confidence, they’re often masking insecurities rather than coming from a place of self-esteem.

If you live with NPD, you might be highly sensitive to criticism or have strong reactions to speech or behaviors you see as an insult.

It’s likely that narcissistic personality disorder is caused by several factors, such as environmental circumstances (including the child-parent relationship) and genetics.

You’ve likely heard the phrase “He’s such a narcissist!” thrown around. But where does narcissistic personality disorder factor in?

While most people show behaviors that could be seen as “narcissistic” — like selfishness or entitlement — narcissistic personality disorder is different.

When narcissistic traits disrupt many areas of your life (like your relationships or career), it could mean you meet the criteria for a personality disorder.

In general, NPD consists of patterns that show up in two or more of these areas:

  • thinking
  • emotions
  • interactions with others
  • impulse control

A clinician may diagnose narcissistic personality disorder if someone has five or more of these signs and symptoms:

  • feelings of self-importance or superiority
  • frequent thoughts about being good looking, powerful, or successful
  • beliefs that they’re separate, special, or above other people
  • a need to be looked up to by others
  • feelings of entitlement to special treatment or an expectation that others should cater to what they want
  • a tendency to take advantage of or exploit others
  • difficulty empathizing with other people’s needs, desires, or emotions
  • feelings of envy toward others, or beliefs that other people envy them
  • behaviors that seem arrogant or proud

In general, there are at least two subtypes of narcissism: grandiose and vulnerable.

  • Grandiose narcissism is what most people may think of as narcissism. People with grandiose narcissism may be more extraverted, have low levels of neuroticism, and openly express feelings of superiority.
  • Vulnerable narcissism shares the same basic traits of NPD, but may involve more hidden thoughts and behaviors. Those with vulnerable narcissism tend to have higher levels of neuroticism and need more reassurance.

While they may still feel superiority, people with a vulnerable narcissism subtype tend to be fearful of criticism. In some cases, they may stay away from others as a result.

Environmental factors — such as culture and parenting — could contribute to the development of narcissistic personality disorder.

Some research suggests that narcissism scores were higher in individualistic cultures (which focus more on each person’s rights and goals) compared with collectivistic cultures (which focus more on what’s best for the group).

In the same study, researchers compared narcissistic traits among people who had grown up in former West Germany (an individualistic culture) to those who’d grown up in former East Germany (a more collectivistic culture).

The findings showed that narcissism was higher and self-esteem was lower in those who grew up in West Germany compared to East Germany.

In addition to culture, research suggests that childhood experiences could play an important role in causing NPD.

Negative childhood experiences, like being rejected or criticized by parents, may contribute to NPD in adulthood. At the same time, too much praise from parents could also lead to NPD.

Research suggests there’s a link between different parenting styles and narcissistic traits in adult children.

Still, there’s no “one” parenting behavior that always leads to narcissism.

Instead, combinations of parenting styles and other contributing factors (like genetics) may come together to cause NPD.

In general, these parenting factors are connected to higher levels of narcissism in children:

  • overprotective, or “helicopter” parenting
  • lack of warmth
  • setting few limits or boundaries (leniency)
  • praise that promotes perfection or unrealistic expectations (overvaluation)
  • maltreatment or abuse

One study found that overprotection was linked to both vulnerable and grandiose narcissism in young adults. And while too much praise was linked to grandiosity, setting too few boundaries was tied to vulnerable narcissism.

Genetics may also play a role in contributing to narcissistic personality disorder.

In a 2014 study involving 304 pairs of twins, researchers found that some NPD traits were somewhat heritable (aka able to be passed on through genetics):

  • grandiosity was 23% heritable
  • entitlement was 35% heritable

Still, these traits seemed to exist independently from each other.

Older research indicates that NPD could be slightly more heritable than other cluster B personality disorders.

Personality traits may also play a role in how NPD presents.

Grandiose narcissism is generally connected to traits like:

  • a sense of entitlement
  • open focus on the self
  • overpowering or domineering behaviors

On the other hand, vulnerable narcissism is marked by traits including:

  • introversion, but self-focused
  • high neuroticism (moodiness)
  • alternating feelings of extreme pride and deep shame

Risk factors for narcissistic personality disorder are somewhat complex. NPD has been linked to a number of things, including parenting and environmental factors, as well as genetics — but all in a variety of combinations.

Certain parenting styles could be a risk factor for higher levels of narcissism in children. But they’ve often been studied in isolation or in different combinations, and with mixed findings.

Simply being male may be a slight risk factor, as narcissistic personality disorder is diagnosed more often in men. It’s estimated that NPD affects 7.7% of men and 4.8% of women in the United States.

In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), narcissistic personality disorder is a cluster B personality disorder.

Other cluster B personality disorders include:

  • antisocial personality disorder
  • histrionic personality disorder
  • borderline personality disorder

When a person with NPD seeks therapy, it may often be for different reasons other than managing NPD.

A person with NPD might seek therapy due to feelings of emptiness or periods of depression. In some cases, family or loved ones encourage them to seek help for relationship issues caused by NPD.

Diagnosis of NPD can be tricky, as it often coexists with other conditions. And on top of that, NPD can share symptoms with these conditions.

Some common co-occurring conditions for people with NPD include:

  • substance use disorder
  • anxiety disorders
  • mood disorders
  • other cluster B personality disorders

If you talk with a mental health pro about a diagnosis, they’ll likely start the process by asking you some questions. These questions may involve your:

  • coping skills
  • defense mechanisms
  • relationships with others
  • long-term patterns of behavior
  • childhood

There aren’t any FDA-approved medications for NPD. But if you experience another condition alongside NPD, you might take medication for:

  • anxiety
  • depression
  • mood episodes
  • psychosis
  • impulse control issues

Certain types of therapy could help people with NPD recognize maladaptive, or unhelpful, thoughts and behaviors that are causing distress to themselves and others.

Transference focused psychotherapy (TFP) is one form of therapy that’s shown some promise for helping people with NPD.

Narcissistic personality disorder is a complex mental health condition that’s not always easy to diagnose.

It can also be tricky to narrow down exactly what causes NPD or predict who’s likely to experience it.

Research has shown there are many environmental and genetic factors — from childhood upbringing to culture to genetics — that contribute to NPD.

But when someone with NPD decides they want to make a change, help is available.

Some types of therapy can help people with NPD accept responsibility for their actions, learn about their feelings and thoughts, and build secure relationships. You can learn more about getting help for NPD here.

Narcissist man: signs and how to get along with him


Illustrative photo: Pixabay.com

An ambitious, charismatic, self-confident guy is able to charm a lady from the first minutes. Do not rush to sing of his qualities and be captivated by charisma. Perhaps the bright personality is a narcissist, and the main love of his life is himself. Leading relationship psychologists figured out how to recognize such a man and how to get along with him.

Who is a male narcissist

Narcissism is a pattern of behavior in which people rise above others. They consider themselves unique, confident that they are superior to other people in all respects - thinking, creativity, etc.

Who is called a narcissist

This is a man whose self-esteem is formed on the basis of approval from the outside. The problem of the narcissist is that he is not able to evaluate himself independently of the world around him, and a negative assessment is the most terrible event in his life. Narcissists have a psychological need to be the center of attention and be admired by others.

Male narcissists:

  • position themselves as people who have exclusive rights; nine0008
  • craving adoration without giving anything in return;
  • look arrogant and cold.

Male narcissists have fragile self-esteem, so they need approval. These are vulnerable and insecure people, and arrogance and grandiosity are psychological protection.

In order not to feel unimportant and insecure, such men constantly prove to others and to themselves their personal exclusivity. To do this, they flaunt a variety of achievements and attributes of their uniqueness, which are often real only in their imagination. nine0005

Psychologist, psychotherapist Veronika Stepanova says that narcissistic personality disorder begins in childhood. Most often, the trigger mechanism is parents who form in the child an incorrect assessment of his own self and the type of relationship with other people. Often narcissism is accompanied by other diagnoses, such as depression, bipolar disorder.

How to recognize a narcissist

A narcissist is difficult to spot at first sight. Many of them are talented, successful and interesting people who are truly admirable. Some narcissists emphasize material achievement, social status, while others flaunt spiritual, intellectual, or creative uniqueness. nine0005

The narcissist's need for a protective mask is so great that he himself is not able to separate his real self from the gigantic Ego he has cultivated. However, it is possible to identify a man with a narcissistic disorder.

Psychologist, coach-trainer Pavel Rakov described the signs that will help to recognize a male narcissist:

  1. A narcissist is able to love only himself. He can beautifully look after a girl, be a generous patron and a skilled lover, but he will never give warmth or show respect. He is psychologically incapable of getting closer on a spiritual level. nine0008
  2. Narcissus is a tyrant. For such a man, a companion is an attribute that emphasizes his status in society. If she ceased to meet his requirements, the relationship will change beyond recognition or be broken. If something does not suit him in the partner’s personality, he will definitely change it in accordance with his own ideas.
  3. Narcissus is a spoiled hedonist. He is convinced that any joys of life are exclusively his prerogative. Therefore, others are obliged to do everything to make him feel good. nine0008
  4. Narcissists are hypocritical. They are able to play several roles at the same time with amazing success. If their deception is revealed, narcissists will find an opportunity to justify themselves and blame others for everything that happened.
  5. Narcissists are insensitive. Mental suffering, accidents, dangerous diseases will never arouse sympathy in the heart of such a man, even if a close and dear person suffers. He will only grieve when his own authority falls.
How to recognize a narcissist: Pixabay

A characteristic feature of a narcissist is the use of the pronouns "I", "mine", "me" and the verb "I want". This happens because the narcissist thinks only of their own worth and desires. He does not say "You need to finish the work in an hour", but says "I want to see the results of the work in an hour. "

A severe degree of narcissistic disorder is accompanied by egocentrism, depreciation of the merits of others, rage, and manipulation. It is difficult for close people of a narcissist to withstand such emotional and psychological stress. nine0005

How to build a relationship with a narcissist man

It is easy to fall in love with a narcissist man. He is interesting, well-groomed, knows how to attract attention. But building a harmonious relationship with such a person is difficult. Dr. Leon Seltzer, a psychologist in psychology, claims that the narcissist's constant attitude of "You are nothing to me" causes an acute feeling of loneliness, depression, and even self-loathing in a partner.

Psychologist and relationship coach Anna Iotko says that love is not needed by a narcissist and will not be a lifeline for him. Entering into a relationship with such a man is easier than breaking them. Anna explains that daffodils can be sweet and charming, as long as the partner always and in everything supports his point of view and fully agrees with his opinion. nine0005

Ironically, women love daffodils. He is really good and at the beginning of the relationship makes the lady feel special, surrounds her with care. Narcissists are skilled manipulators. They are able to brainwash and convince anyone of their uniqueness and superiority.

Leon Seltzer explains that a narcissist's partner cannot predict a man's reaction to a behavior or statement. A woman is forced to constantly try to please him in order to avoid unpredictable anger. His typical behavior is to beat a downer. nine0005

How to make a narcissist fall in love with you

Can a narcissist fall in love? When it comes to narcissistic personality disorder or pathological narcissism, a person perceives other people as a source of satisfaction or a tool to achieve a certain goal.

His love is not a mature feeling, but a desire to possess. When people exhibit only some of the traits of narcissism, they are able to fall in love and build relationships. However, it is more difficult for them to truly fall in love than for other people. nine0005

How to make a narcissistic man fall in love with you? He is firmly confident in his own exclusivity, so it is difficult to win his heart. The beautiful deeds of a woman, which an ordinary man will highly appreciate, will be small and insignificant for him. But if a woman is ready to fight, she should take into account the following recommendations:

  1. Constantly say compliments. The narcissist is aware of his exclusivity, but he needs to constantly prove that the woman thinks so too. Even if open flattery sounds, he does not doubt for a moment the sincerity of praise. nine0008
  2. Emphasize even small achievements repeatedly. Tell how proud you are of him and how important the deed he has done is.
  3. Gain recognition from others. It is vital for him that society recognizes a woman as the best, openly admires her virtues.
  4. Work on appearance and image. The chosen one of the narcissist should shine with beauty and a well-thought-out wardrobe.
  5. Avoid jealousy, but focus on the compliments you receive. The narcissist should know that a woman is successful with men, but he got it. nine0008
  6. Support him everywhere, express sympathy, show understanding.
  7. Tell us how important and dear he is, emphasize that you are inspired by him.

Finding a common language and becoming a truly beloved narcissistic man is not easy. High demands and a complex character indicate that a woman next to him always needs to meet the highest standards.

To build a relationship with a narcissistic man or stay away from him, each woman must decide individually. If you fell in love with such a guy, listen to the recommendations of psychologists and choose the right line of behavior in communication. It may turn out that a demanding male narcissist will not ruin a woman's life, but will make her the happiest on the planet. nine0005

Original article: https://www.nur.kz/family/relationship/1714988-muzhchina-nartsiss-priznaki-i-kak-s-nim-uzhitsya/

How to recognize a person with narcissism

July 19, 2022 Likbez Health

Psychotherapy may be required even for those who associate with a narcissist.

You can listen to the article. If it's more convenient for you, turn on the podcast.

Narcissists are traditionally called narcissists, obsessed with their own person. However, not every narcissist suffers from narcissism. nine0005

Narcissistic personality disorder has very specific symptoms.

How to Recognize a Person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Every psychotherapist's reference book, the current edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), lists nine signs of a true narcissist. At the same time, it is enough to make a diagnosis if a person meets only five of them.

1. Maintains relationships with "special" people

The narcissist always has authoritative, influential acquaintances from circles, access to which is difficult for “mere mortals”: ​​businessmen from the top hundred of the Forbes list, brilliant artists, owners of various rarities, close friends and lovers of world famous stars. Well, at least the narcissist himself likes to talk about such connections.

A person with a narcissistic disorder uses the status of acquaintances as a way to increase self-esteem and authority in the eyes of others. nine0005

By the way, this is one of the reasons why daffodils seem so attractive, why it is easy to fall in love with them and difficult to leave them. When a person is “with such connections!”, “so sophisticated!” suddenly draws attention to you, it tickles pride very much. It’s as if you are on the same social level with the narcissist’s great acquaintances and begin to feel “special” too. And this is a kind of psychological drug, which is hard to give up.

2. Often talks about his own victories and achievements

Whether it's a controversial moment at work, a conflict in a store or public transport, a random race from a traffic light - the narcissist emerges victorious from any situation. In fact, that's what he tells the people around him.

It is important for Narcissus to demonstrate that he is the best and smartest of all. This helps him feel more confident.

Jacqueline Krol

Psychotherapist, for Healthline online edition

It is typical that stories about victories always proceed in the form of monologues. Narcissists need admiring listeners. As soon as one of them begins to pull the blanket over himself and talk about his own achievements, the person with narcissism gets bored and turns off the conversation. nine0005

3. Needs compliments and can't stand criticism

From the outside, the narcissist seems to be an extremely self-confident person. But, as experts suggest, most people with narcissistic personality disorder have serious problems with self-esteem.

That is why they expect constant compliments from others. If admiration is not enough, or worse, the narcissist is criticized, they react very emotionally. Can theatrically exclaim: "I'm not appreciated here!" Often reproaches relatives and colleagues for inattention and callousness. Because of the slightest remark, he may cry or run away, slamming the door and shouting something insulting in the end. nine0005

Then, perhaps, he will return to still get recognition from you. For this, the narcissist manipulates guilt: it is not he who is emotionally unrestrained, but you meanly offended him, underestimated and provoked him.

4. Seems to be a dreamer and idealist

The narcissist seems ideal to himself and therefore counts on a special, impeccable life. And if something does not work out, the responsibility for it shifts to the people around.

If there are difficulties in love or family relationships, the partner is to blame: he didn't look the right way, did the wrong thing, didn't appreciate it. “All women are bitches, and I am looking for that one, my soul mate who will understand me” is the demonstrative position of the classic narcissist. nine0005

Narcissistic personality disorder is more common in men. At risk are young (under 45) unmarried people.

If it doesn't work out with a career and money, the society is to blame, of course. More precisely, his successful representatives, who (from the point of view of a narcissist) probably achieved their position with the help of influential relatives, through bed, by deceit. Narcissists often oppose themselves to society, emphasizing their status as an unrecognized genius and a lone wolf, disappointed in an imperfect world. nine0005

5. Feels worthy of special treatment

This means that the narcissist demands more rights for himself than for others. He will not stand in line - he will find a way to get into the right office or to the counter first, even if it turns into a scandal. He expects priority service at the restaurant. Or he sincerely counts on an “understanding” attitude from his superiors, even if he is late for the fifth time in a week or misses a deadline.

He "needs" to sit at the window, open (or close) the window or do his hobby - instead of washing the dishes, cleaning or going shopping. nine0005

The interests of a person with narcissistic personality disorder always come first. People around are encouraged to come to terms with it.

6. Often arrogant, shows disrespect for those who are lower in status

One of the characteristics of the classic narcissist is a sense of superiority over others. This is clearly shown in situations where a person suffering from narcissism is faced with the service industry. He can be rude to waiters, wardrobe workers, consultants, petty clerks. Subordinates or those who are younger also suffer from his arrogance. nine0005

If the narcissist is reproached for this, he will explain his behavior with shortcomings in the work of the "lower class" and say that he simply demands a little respect for himself.

7. Exploits others

For a narcissist, being served is in the order of things, and he is not interested in what forces and at the expense of what this is achieved. For example, in family relationships, he will expect dinner, cleanliness and excellent physical shape from his partner - simply because he “should” (even if he has two jobs, a child and an objective lack of time for sports). nine0005

If the partner tries to rebel, discounting, gaslighting and other abuse techniques will be used.

8. Openly manipulates people

Pressing on pity, hitting on feelings of guilt and conscience, twisting the facts and blaming others for what they did not do - this is not a complete list of what the narcissist does to achieve his goals.

It cannot be said that he manipulates consciously. It’s just that this is how his psyche works on justifying himself and blaming others. nine0005

9. Not able to empathize

Lack of empathy (sympathy for the experiences and problems of others) is one of the most characteristic signs of a narcissist.

A person with narcissistic personality disorder is completely self-centered. To delve into other people's problems, to provide support for him is simply boring.

This is one of the reasons why narcissists almost never have long-term relationships, either friendships or romantic relationships.

What to do if a person is a narcissist

Narcissism is one of the least understood personality disorders. It is extremely difficult to treat, as narcissists usually do not believe that they have mental health problems. On the contrary: they are sure that others have problems, which means that they should be treated.

In addition, narcissism is often accompanied by other types of mental disorders - manic-depressive psychosis (bipolar disorder), depression, anxiety and dissocial (sociopathic) disorders. So therapy, even if the narcissist agrees to it, runs the risk of being long and complicated. nine0005

What should you do if you encounter a narcissist? The least energy-consuming, but also the least humane way is to run away from him.

If you have the opportunity not to take on the solution of other people's psychological problems, it makes sense not to do this.

However, this is not always the case. After all, a colleague, a valuable business partner, a close relative, or even a loved one can be a narcissist. Refusal to communicate will be tantamount to a complete severing of these important ties. nine0005

In this case, the only thing left is to persuade the narcissist to see a psychotherapist. The doctor will get to know the patient better and, depending on his condition, will select the most effective type of psychotherapy. Sometimes, in addition to it, medication may be needed - antidepressants and antipsychotics.

Psychotherapy will also be useful for you if you are forced to contact a narcissist every day. Communication with a person who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder has a destructive effect on people close to him: it undermines self-esteem, makes you doubt yourself, and can provoke the development of an anxiety disorder or depression.

Learn more