What causes indecisiveness

Why Am I So Indecisive? 10 Methods to Help You Make Decisions

Indecisiveness has many causes. But you can get better at making decisions, big and small, with practice and time.

Whether it’s a major decision, such as choosing a life partner, or a minor decision, such as what to eat for breakfast, being indecisive can significantly impact your life.

Difficulty in making decisions can be caused by several factors, such as a fear of failure and a lack of confidence or information.

Indecisiveness can also be a symptom of mental health conditions, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

If you experience indecisiveness and making decisions is a constant source of stress and anxiety, you’re not alone. There are effective methods that can help with decision making.

There are many situations that may cause indecisiveness. Here are a few.

Fear of failure

Some people are inherently more hesitant when it comes to making decisions. Indecisiveness certainly can be a learned behavior.

“Those raised in environments where decision making is seen as an opportunity to learn and grow tend to feel more comfortable making choices,” says Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist. “If, however, decision making becomes associated with making errors or ‘bad choices,’ indecisiveness often results.”

For example, if a parent criticizes a child for making a poor decision, the child will avoid making decisions for fear of being seen as a failure.

“These fears can carry over into adulthood and lead to the use of indecisiveness as an unconscious coping strategy,” Manly explains. “Over time, the stress and anxiety associated with making decisions leads to an avoidance of making both small and large decisions.”

In this paradigm, decision making can have a negative impact on self-worth.

“A ‘good’ decision increases self-worth, and a ‘bad’ decision leads to self-criticism,” Manly says. “In many cases, the fear and anxiety evoked at the mere thought of having to make a decision can be quite paralyzing. This perpetuates the tendency to default to the relative safety of indecision.”

Parental influence

The root of your indecision may go back to parental influence.

“If someone has grown up with overbearing parents, they may not have had an opportunity to make decisions independently,” says Haley Perlus, PhD, a sport and performance psychologist. “There was never any chance for the person to fail or succeed by themselves.

“As such, once they’re given the opportunity to make a choice, they’re left looking for someone else to make that choice for them,” Perlus says.

You’re a perfectionist

Perfectionism can lead to numerous health problems, including:

anxiety
depression
burnout

“When someone constantly sees their options categorized as ‘right’ and ‘wrong,’ they may find themselves paralyzed at the thought of accidentally choosing the ‘wrong’ decision,” Perlus says. “This leads to a constant back-and-forth as they struggle to figure out the correct choice. ”

You’re a people pleaser

Do you constantly worry about what others think?

“If you’re a people pleaser, you may find yourself continuously struggling internally between choice A (what you want) and choice B (what others want),” Perlus says.

You’ve lost sight of the bigger picture

This goes back to focusing on what matters. Many people get lost in the details and can become overwhelmed.

“Most people strive for some kind of goal, whether professionally, spiritually, or mentally,” Perlus says. “However, when one begins to lose sight of these goals, they often start to lose sight of how they’ll get to the goals as well, leaving them feeling lost and confused when it comes time to decide which direction they should take.”

You lack confidence

Self-confidence is a key component of decision making.

“Perhaps someone does know which direction they should move toward to achieve their goals,” Perlus says. “Yet if they’re insecure, they may be able to choose the decision that’s right for them but struggle with sticking to it. Self-doubt and a lack of confidence could even mean they procrastinate.”

You lack proper knowledge of the subject

This is less internal and more due to circumstances.

“Some people may have the confidence and skills to make solid decisions promptly,” Perlus says. “If this is the case, the problem could lie in the fact that a person simply does not have enough information on the subject they need to decide on.”

You have aboulomania

This is a diagnosable mental disorder.

“Aboulomania is when a person shows signs of pathological indecisiveness,” Perlus explains. “While most people will be indecisive at some point, people with aboulomania are indecisive to the point where it is an obsession and severely affects their daily lives.”

A symptom of other mental health conditions

Indecisiveness can be a symptom of mental health conditions. In fact, indecisiveness is a prevalent symptom of major depressive disorder.

People with ADHD also experience difficulty making decisions due to factors, such as inattention, memory problems, and distractibility.

Other mental health conditions in which indecisiveness can be a symptom are:

anxiety
dependent personality disorder
stress
childhood trauma
Alzheimer’s disease

Here are 10 methods to try that may help you become more decisive.

Make decisions for yourself

Asking 10 people about one topic will only confuse you further. Ultimately, if you trust your intuition, you will know what the right decision is.

“Nobody can give you the correct answers on what’s best for you besides yourself,” Perlus says. “Try not to allow others to be the decider between you and your goals.”

Develop your confidence

When you make a choice, trust your intuition that it’s the right decision for yourself.

“Avoid second-guessing. If you have the confidence to trust yourself, you’ll find making and sticking to decisions much easier,” Perlus says.

Let things go

The fear that comes with worrying about making the “wrong” decisions can be paralyzing.

“Try not to worry about mistakes — they’re a part of life. Once you accept that things are not always in your control, making decisions will be much less threatening,” Perlus says.

Choose one person that can act as a sounding board

There will be instances when you’re truly stumped.

“When feeling stuck, ask a supportive friend or partner to weigh in,” Manly says.

Talk it out

The simple act of speaking out loud will help alleviate indecision and internal conflict.

“If it feels right, voice your thoughts out loud to a friend or partner. Decisions can become less confusing and worrisome when we voice our fears and choices out loud,” Manly says.

Narrow it down

If you’re facing a variety of options, take a practical approach.

“Narrow down your selections to three options with a ‘surgical slice.’ Don’t question yourself. Then evaluate the final three options and pick one,” Manly says.

Outline the pros and cons

If you get stuck, draft a simple pro-con list. But the important thing to remember is to write it down. Mentally weighing the pros and cons is simply adding to the indecisiveness.

“Pro-con lists facilitate objective and sound decision making,” Manly says.

Flip a coin

Of course, this method shouldn’t be used for big decisions, such as marriage. But this will work if it’s something as simple as what to order on the menu.

“This simple trick (which I use often) makes the decision for you,” Manly says. “And, there are times when your gut knows what it truly wants when the coin lands the ‘wrong’ way.”

What’s interesting about flipping a coin is that your reaction will actually reveal what you truly want.

Avoid questioning your final decision

Once you’ve made the decision, avoid second-guessing yourself.

“Simply embrace your selection and move forward,” Manly says.

Recognize and celebrate your decisions

Congratulate yourself for every decision you make.

“Practice a kind, validating affirmation,” Manly says. “For example, you might say, ‘I made a great decision. I’m getting better at making choices! This feels good!’ If a negative voice tries to step in to create self-doubt, simply repeat your kind, validating words.”

Making decisions — big and small — can sometimes be difficult. We’ve all experienced indecisiveness.

Indecisiveness can be caused by several factors, from a fear of failure and lack of information, to conditions, such as aboulomania, depression, and ADHD.

But there are steps you can take to get better at making decisions. If you feel that indecisiveness is affecting your daily life, consider talking with a doctor or mental health professional.

For more resources and support, consider the following:

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
Mental Health America
ADHD Resources: Support Groups, Books, Apps, and More
Support Groups for Adults with ADHD
CHADD for Adults
ADHD Coaches Organization

Looking for a therapist but unsure where to start? Psych Central’s How to Find Mental Health Support resource can help.

9 Common Reasons Why You Are So Indecisive – Zippia

9 Common Causes of Indecision
Ways to Improve Your Decision Making
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While decision making is simply coming to a conclusion after taking the time to express all of your thoughts and feelings, the truth is that many people don’t even know what they’re thinking or feeling. If that feels like you, you’re not alone.

So what do you do?

Well, knowing the common causes of any issue is the first step toward addressing it. If you were a doctor, you couldn’t properly treat a fever if you didn’t know what was causing it.

With that in mind, this article will outline nine common causes of indecision, as well as how you can tackle them.

Key Takeaways:

Often, indecision can be chalked up to a personality trait, but you shouldn’t accept indecisiveness that runs rampant in your life, to the point that making important decisions can feel nearly impossible.
If you are a people pleaser, indecision might be an issue you struggle with.
Fear tends to play a big part in the indecision process, because of the unknown part of it.
The best way to improve your decision making skills is to be knowledgeable, build self confidence, and simplify the situation.

9 Common Causes of Indecision

When discussing the nature of indecision, it’s important to note that you may not struggle with each and every cause.

Instead, you should analyze yourself and try to pinpoint a few major causes you may be struggling with. When you do that, the causes will be much easier to address.

Here are nine of those causes outlined:

Perfectionism. When you find yourself obsessing about the quality of your work, trips, food, or anything really, this perfectionism can easily impact your decision making as well. For many people, the thought of things not going to plan or making mistakes can feel completely intolerable.
- Think of it this way; let’s say you’re offered some overtime. You could use the money, but your current schedule will have to be altered or canceled if you take the extra hours. You might feel paralyzed because you’re worried about making the “wrong” decision. That’s your perfectionism getting in the way.
- Instead of thinking about things in terms of “right” and “wrong,” you should rationally analyze each option’s pros and cons. Then, when you do make a decision, keep in mind that you’re not making a mistake.
- Remember, every decision will have benefits and downsides, so there will never be an inherently “perfect” decision. Remember that, and simply choose what you feel works best for you.
People-pleasing. If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you know the never-ending struggle to make decisions. Maybe you dread the classic, “What do you want for dinner, honey?” or “Where do you want to go today?”.
- Interestingly enough, this kind of indecision might be caused by us overanalyzing others when trying to decide or putting too much emphasis on what other people want.
- For instance, if you know your partner likes to eat at restaurant A, but you prefer restaurant B, you might feel incapable of deciding. You assume your partner will want to eat at restaurant A, so you don’t want to upset them, but you also have to be honest with what you want.
  
  From that perspective, it’s clear that these “mind games” can affect all kinds of decision making, even outside of relationships.
- At work or school, we might struggle to make decisions because we know what someone else wants and don’t know whether we want to do what they want or what we want.
- There’s no definitive right or wrong side, but you should never sell yourself short and fall into the habit of excessive people-pleasing.
Parental struggles. Even when we’re well into adulthood, our parents’ decisions and personalities can have a lasting effect on us.
- Maybe you grew up with overprotective and controlling parents, so you lack experience making your own decisions. In this case, you might be overly worried about how your parents will judge your decision making or not even be sure where to begin.
  
  Additionally, if you grew up around an indecisive parent, you may have unintentionally copied their behavior.
- In both cases, the best thing you can do is try to separate yourself from your parents. Instead of stressing out about what they’ll approve of or how they’d make decisions, work on finding your individuality.
- Even if you have to start with small choices, deciding on your own will help you immensely in the long run.
Self-doubt. We all doubt ourselves sometimes, and those doubts can have a significant impact on us when it comes to decision-making.

Even if you know what decision you want to make or what’s best for you, a lack of confidence can cause you to second guess yourself. You might procrastinate because you feel like your thought process is too flawed to make the right choice.

Insecurity isn’t easy to tackle, but you can start by acknowledging your skills and accomplishments. When you begin to build up confidence, you’ll find that it’s much easier to pull the trigger on your decisions.
Fear. Unfortunately, fear often goes hand-in-hand with insecurity. No doubt, it’s easy to be afraid of the unknown consequences of our actions.
- For instance, let’s say you’re working two jobs. One offers you a promotion, but the new hours will interfere with your second job.
- You might find yourself fearing the loss of your second job without taking the time to consider that you might be able to negotiate with one or both employers, as well as afford to leave the second job if the new promotion pays more.
- Additionally, you might find yourself afraid to face the responsibility of your actions. After all, no one wants to take the fall for the negative aspects of a consequential decision.
- However, responsibility should be viewed as a positive. Own your actions and work to achieve positive results. In the end, by properly analyzing the possible positive results of your decisions, you can avoid paralyzing fear.
Overload. Just as a deer freezes in the headlights of a car, sometimes we can feel paralyzed when we’re faced with too many options. Weird, right? Wouldn’t it be better to have more options?
- But think about it. Let’s say someone asks you what your favorite color is. For some people, the sheer number of possible colors to choose from will make answering the question feel nearly impossible. By contrast, when you ask someone whether they prefer red or blue, they’re much more likely to give you a concrete answer.
- With that in mind, being faced with too many options or too many factors that will affect our overall decision can cause us to shut down. Sometimes we don’t know what we want because we feel flooded with options to consider.
- If you struggle with this, try to take a step back and only focus on two or three factors at a time. If necessary, you can even write notes or make lists as you sort through your options.
Overthinking. Often, when you’re trying to think about too many options or too many factors all at once, you might find yourself overthinking.

Maybe you started thinking about how you should price your homemade cookies and got lost considering the cost of a vintage egg beater. Or perhaps you feel paralyzed because there are simply too many things to consider.

For many of us, overthinking can cause us to stray from the most important aspects of the decisions we need to make.

Realistically, we have to admit to ourselves that it’s nearly impossible to calculate every outcome. Simple put, we can’t predict the future. Therefore, sometimes it’s best to acknowledge that there are things of our control.
Change. Small or grand, every decision we make comes with a level of change. Just think about how different your life was ten years ago.

Unfortunately, even when change is positive, it can feel overwhelming, uncomfortable, or even scary.

For example, if you lived your entire life living in the same location, and received a job offer that would require you to move across the country, that amount of change could easily make anyone feel uneasy. The unknown is unpredictable, and unpredictable can make us feel like something will go wrong.

However, it’s important to remember that our lives are ever-changing. We’d never go anywhere if we didn’t open ourselves up to the unknown. With that in mind, consider your options, and embrace change when it comes.
Forgetting your goals. With all these factors affecting our decision-making process, it can be easy to forget the bigger picture. Remember that, for the most part, we’re always trying to make decisions that forward our goals.

When we become bogged down by overthinking, people-pleasing, self-doubt, etc., we can quickly lose sight of our long term goals.

Whenever you’re making an important decision, you should take a moment to recall your goals (whether they’re concrete or not). By having a vision for the future and seeing the bigger picture, it’ll be much easier to put your possible decisions into perspective.

Ways to Improve Your Decision Making

Whether you’re only struggling with one of these issues, or you feel plagued by all nine of them, there are ways you can ward off indecisiveness. Here are some tips to keep in mind:

Be knowledgeable. When you do your research and know the details of any important decision, you’ll be able to ward off indecisive thoughts.
Build self-confidence. Don’t second-guess yourself. When you trust your judgment, you’ll find decision making much easier.
Be an individual. While it’s essential to see the value in constructive criticism and advice, you shouldn’t base your decisions on what other people think you should do or want you to do.
Let go. Once you accept the fact that you can’t predict and control every outcome and that life is ever-changing, making decisions will feel far less stressful.
Simplify. Everything in life can feel a little complicated at times. Nevertheless, instead of letting yourself become overwhelmed by every little thing you should consider, try to simplify your decision-making process.

So what are you waiting for? It’s never too late to start making decisions in a less stressful, more positive way.

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To be or not to be? That is the question!

The problem of choice has tormented people at all times and will continue to do so to this day. Try a new dish in a restaurant or take a familiar, familiar one? To go or not to party? Accept or reject a business proposal? With whom to stay: with a husband or with a lover? Sometimes the fear of making a mistake is so great that a person gets bogged down in painful doubts and hesitates for a long time at the moment when an exact decision needs to be made. What can you do to prevent indecision from ruining your life?

The root of indecision is in childhood

The problem of choice is really not that simple. It takes us back to an earlier age. Maybe even a teenager. When parents show overprotection, control any action of the child, do not allow him to carry out his own plans, a person can grow indecisive. The inability to make this very choice will atrophy his ability to choose, guided by his own considerations. In adulthood, it will be difficult for him to make decisions on his own, because from childhood he was used to the fact that adults decided everything for him.

Self-doubt

Any indecision always starts with bad thoughts about yourself: “I don't deserve this. I'm not competent enough. I'm weak". This attitude does not lead to anything good. It is important to know that the devaluation of one's own strengths is just a bad habit that needs to be eliminated. Think of at least 3 times when you were successful. If you have achieved victories in sports, then you are stubborn, strong-willed. Did you draw beautiful pictures as a child? So you have the talent to perceive the beautiful. After all, if at least in one area of \u200b\u200blife you were able to succeed, then you have such abilities. Learn to translate them into other areas as well.

Reflection - the problem of intellectuals

Reflection of choice is the fear that makes a person think too carefully about the details of his plan and the consequences of its implementation, and in life this plan may never materialize. Psychologists believe that reflection, as a rule, is characteristic of smart, developed people. Many of us suffer from this problem: we think more about action than we act. In the process of self-digging, we suddenly lose the very opportunity to commit an act. If you are familiar with this condition, try to take more risks. Make choices every day, starting with the little things. Develop your spontaneity. Give in to a fleeting impulse. Perhaps in the future you will be able to keep reflection under control.

Choice: loss or gain?

Another reason for indecision is the fear of losing the benefits of one of the options. After all, giving preference in favor of one thing, you inevitably have to lose something else. For example, marriage means giving up all other men. As we can see, we are driven by the fear of loss, behind which we cannot always see the opportunities that open up. The choice can become easier if at every moment you ask yourself the question: “What is more important for me right now?” This will give you the strength to move in the right direction. Focus on how good your decision is and accept it. And when new opportunities come next, don't miss them.

Give yourself permission to make mistakes

The most common fear that contributes to the formation of indecision is the fear of failure. To get rid of this fear, you need to realize that there is no life without failures and mistakes, and that failure is not a reason for self-flagellation, but “feedback”. People say: "to be afraid of wolves - do not go into the forest", so treat failures as an experience from which you can get a new guide to action.

Reassessment of values - it's time

Insecure people, as a rule, have another not very good quality - adherence to various prejudices, which they pass off as "norms of morality and decency." When the desire to live by the “rules” begins to go against common sense and creates a lot of problems for a person, this is a clear sign that the time has come to reconsider and somewhat correct your worldview. So, for example, many women believe that “we must wait for the prince on a white horse,” without even wanting to leave the house. Unfortunately, this prince has very little chance to meet his princess... To overcome the prejudices that interfere with life, ask yourself the question: What is the value of my attitudes and what prevents me from abandoning them or at least changing them a little?
Doubts are also associated with this item due to the condemnation of your actions by other people. Everyone had a situation when he was faced with a choice, intuition told us the right option, but he was overcome by doubts about what others would say. You can listen to advice, but if you have a sense of the right decision, you need to do it your own way. Do not listen too much to the opinion of society, this is your life.

Consider the Details

As you consider any situation that requires an informed decision, ask yourself, “What am I risking? If I'm wrong, what are the worst consequences?" After that, consider a plan "B" - the actions that you will take in case of undesirable consequences of your decision.

Ask a friend for advice

It happens that the feeling of uncertainty constantly increases and the possibility of independent choice disappears. In this situation, talk to a friend. You should not ask him for advice or ask him to make a choice for you. Better describe the problem in detail. After that, having considered it from different angles, the decision-making process will become much easier.

How to become decisive

First of all, you need to realize that decisiveness, as well as indecision, is a personal choice of the person himself, depending on what is preferable for him: life in the shadows about the principle of “avoiding failure” or complete personal self-realization. If you are closer to the second, then the main thing to do is to recognize the right to act. Allow yourself to use your powers as you see fit and to do whatever you want with your life. The first steps towards developing determination can be difficult. But the more often you train this quality in yourself, showing it in practice, the faster you will notice how determination will become a part of you, and decisive actions will come easier and easier each time, predetermining your life successes.

The mysterious phenomenon of indecision - Vedomosti

Let's talk about things mysterious, strange, hardly amenable to any clear rational explanations, but from this even more interesting. These are destructors - that is, our personal qualities, which at some point can significantly affect our effectiveness, become an insurmountable obstacle to success or cause a real collapse of a brilliant career.

Still, doubt gives me no less pleasure than knowledge

Dante Alighieri

People with destructors are by no means pathetic losers. They can be very talented and ambitious, reach a high social position, and have developed competencies. But at the most responsible, critical moment, often under the influence of stress, a hitherto harmless and seemingly manageable personality feature suddenly turns into a destructor and manifests itself in full, like an acute illness or a tornado that erases everything in its path.

There are various destructors: “perfectionism”, “indecision”, “distrust”, “emotional instability”, “asociality”, etc. achievement, the single most pronounced destructor is usually sufficient.

The "indecision" destructor consists of different components. Firstly, it is the fear of making the wrong decision: a person is afraid of negative consequences, is not ready to take responsibility - what if the decision made turns out to be a failure? He lives in constant anxiety and hesitation. At the same time, the higher the manager's position, the more often there is a need to make responsible and large-scale decisions that directly affect the company's activities. “While I was in business school and worked as a financial specialist, my insecurity and over-cautiousness did me good,” said one financial director of a construction corporation. — But now I am responsible for the whole company and I am under a lot of stress: what if I make a mistake - and the cost of my mistake will be very high? I think I know how to proceed, but I'm not completely sure. I can't trust my intuition completely. Endless discussions with colleagues help little. So I’m postponing as far as possible that decisive moment when it will be too late to turn back ... ”

Possessing an excellent knowledge of business and finance, this talented person was forced to leave the position of top manager two years after a long torment. Then the destructor overcame it. By the way, in his personal life he did not experience such problems and made all serious, even fateful decisions confidently: “After all, here I am only responsible for myself.” However, his further fate in business turned out to be happy: he created his own company, for which it was morally easier for him to bear responsibility.

Now, in fact, only he himself could suffer from the consequences of his decisions - and the destructor called "indecision" was losing its power over him. The name of this man is known all over the world today*.

Another component of this destructor is an overly deep analysis of the situation and the problem, an overly clear understanding of the imperfections of each alternative. Sometimes this destructor is inherent in people with a very high intelligence, able to quickly and thoroughly calculate all the consequences, clearly see the disadvantages and advantages. As a result, they have a systemic, multivariate picture of possible solutions, each of which carries risks - and in any of the options, success is not at all guaranteed (and this is always the case in business). It becomes extremely difficult for a person armed with such vast knowledge to make decisions. Destructors, like competencies, have a deep psychological basis. It is curious that according to the style and conditions of education, people suffering from this destructor can be divided into two types. The first option: parents (or one parent, since such children often grow up in an incomplete family) do not pay enough attention to the child, do little to educate him, are not interested in his development. Their parental messages usually sound like this: “Don’t interfere, do it yourself, think for yourself and decide, I don’t have time,” etc. punishment. He does not see examples of successful decisions in the family, he does not receive good advice and wise guidance from close adults. By the due date, he never learns to make a choice in a balanced, conscious way, to make well-considered decisions, to control his actions. He is afraid of his mistakes, afraid of the inevitability of the subsequent punishment - and therefore does nothing. And his inner voice insidiously prophesies to him: “You won’t be able to, you’ll make a mistake anyway - so be careful, don’t meddle, don’t take risks.” And the destructor named "indecision" confidently and for many years comes into its own.

Consider the second option: childhood is spent in a close environment of very caring, overprotective and sometimes directive parents, grandparents, who always decide everything for the child. His first attempts to show independence come across affectionate, firm or irritated parental spells: “You can’t, it’s too early for you, we know better ... Do you understand what can happen? . . And who will be responsible? ..” And indeed: the first independent decisions often turn out to be wrong, immature, stupid - it would be better to really listen to the elders ... Children grow up without learning how to make decisions. Life expects decisive action from them - but in vain: they are afraid to take responsibility, to be afraid to make a mistake, to take a false step. Nevertheless, over time, in most cases, they successfully overcome these difficulties - and only sometimes these doubts take over them again. Unfortunately, this "sometimes" happens at the most inopportune moments - when it is especially difficult, when the tension reaches its maximum.

As an example, I will give a story in which the hero is the ex-head of a regional branch of a large oil company. He was always distinguished by the firmness of his decisions, the promptness of his actions, the quality and timeliness of his execution, and therefore he was in good standing. Two years ago, due to the crisis, the company decided to transfer part of the services to outsourcing. The management of the company expected that each branch would present a clear rationale for the decision, taking into account regional specifics, and propose an appropriate action plan. The work of the branch for the next 3-5 years depended on this particular decision. And then the leader suddenly became confused - it was a stupor, paralysis of the mind and will. The people around were perplexed: they did not see their leader like that. Time passed, anxiety and fear of error grew, but he could not solve anything. The central office, without waiting for an answer, made the appropriate orders.

A few months later we reviewed this case. He couldn't understand what happened then. At my request, he again and again recalled that situation in detail - and then an important circumstance was revealed that suddenly clarified everything: just at that time, his mother came to visit him. She visited him very rarely, but her visits "enough for a long time." Being a “mother hen”, in childhood she did not let the boy breathe on his own, did not leave any opportunity to express his opinion, to take at least one unauthorized and inconsistent step - and he obeyed, unconditionally accepted her comprehensive care. Over the years, the son has changed, matured - but she, of course, remained the same, and as soon as he was in the field of her influence, the former very deep stereotypes worked. There was a crucial period at work, and constant tension completed the job: he subconsciously again felt like a dependent, indecisive, weak child, afraid to make a mistake, to make the wrong choice.

Are there ways to deal with this destructor? It seems to me very important to understand its origin, to try to understand its origins. An analysis of early childhood years, memories of the attitude of adults to your actions, their vivid statements, a biased analysis of successful and unsuccessful own choices - this path will certainly help to at least slightly open the “veil of secrecy” over your excessive caution, show the long-standing sources of today's difficulties, free you from " evil spells, ”in the power of which people often live their whole lives. But there is another effective way to get rid of indecision: just start making decisions, no matter how difficult it may be for you, despite all the “buts”, torments and fears.

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