Ways to overcome loneliness

SAMHSA’s National Helpline | SAMHSA

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  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.

    Also visit the online treatment locator.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.

The service is open 24/7, 365 days a year.

English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.

In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.

The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.

The service is confidential. We will not ask you for any personal information. We may ask for your zip code or other pertinent geographic information in order to track calls being routed to other offices or to accurately identify the local resources appropriate to your needs.

No, we do not provide counseling. Trained information specialists answer calls, transfer callers to state services or other appropriate intake centers in their states, and connect them with local assistance and support.

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    For additional resources, please visit the SAMHSA Store.

Last Updated: 08/30/2022

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20 ways to beat loneliness | ELLE



Loneliness is a person's eternal companion. And this satellite weighs heavily on many. How to get rid of it? Galina LIFSHITS offers a well-thought-out strategy.

We are not alone, perhaps, only in the period of intrauterine development. But we come into this world alone, and we leave alone. It is believed that temperament comes to us from nature - like eye color, blood type, fingerprints. What about loneliness? Happy are those who do not think about it. However, I have not come across any. Everyone felt the burden of testing loneliness in one way or another. The great blessing of loneliness is understandable to creative natures. Loneliness is freedom! In the process of reflection, I turned with a question about the attitude towards loneliness to friends, young, successful, educated people. I was surprised by the similarity of the answers: “I love to be alone (alone), but for happiness you definitely need the feeling that there is a loved one somewhere nearby.” This is perhaps the healthiest approach. This was mainly the answer of family people and those who are not disappointed in family life or those who enjoy the happiness of mutual love. People who are truly lonely are not inclined to expand on this topic. For them, loneliness is a prison. They sometimes hurt unbearably. They are suffering. They are disoriented, do not feel the ground under their feet, do not think about the future. This is a dangerous condition, and not always the sufferer is able to get out of it alone. But there are ways, and they work! Checked - and more than once. nine0003

Want to try it for yourself? Then let's start by defining how we perceive ourselves in solitude. Below are two groups of statements.


1. We admit it to ourselves: “Yes! At the moment I am alone. I feel bad. I feel abandoned by the whole world. I don't like this state. I'm ready to embark on the path of change. I have the power to change the situation. I have the will and the patience to do so." The last two phrases must be repeated to yourself constantly throughout the day. nine0003

2. By no means do we sit idly by! Highly recommended: general cleaning, painting walls and doors in incredible colors, rearranging furniture, washing (you can even do it by hand!), ironing, washing windows and all kinds of housework.

3. Let's sing while we work! Loud! Without ceasing. You must hear the voice of the person. And here is the first voice that breaks loneliness. Your own!

4. Sounds generally cope well with loneliness. Let's hear the marches! It is marching music (and it can be wonderful!) that is the best inspirer and organizer. The march invigorates, creates an optimistic mood and inspires enthusiasm, so necessary for important and necessary achievements (all the rulers of large and small nations knew about this, we will believe in it too - we have to defeat ourselves). nine0003

5. Completely change appearance: hair color, hairstyle, style, manners. Task: let them stop recognizing. We hide. While on my own. From my anguish. From my former self. This is definitely a game. But - as a rule - the game attracts other people, and they are happy, often without realizing it, to connect to it.

6. Inventing a new self. Like scouts. We create a legend. We memorize everything about ourselves: about successes, good luck, irresistible beauty, demand. We train in front of the mirror (this is serious work). We force ourselves to smile with an open wide smile of a happy person who ingenuously loves everything around. It is in this image that we go out into the world (to the store, to the museum, for a walk, for a cup of coffee in the nearest coffee shop, to the cinema, bar ...). All life is theater! And we are actors. Should we relax? nine0003

7. We actively get rid of everything old: old things, habits, stereotypes. There are always too many things in the house! We leave that with which the feeling of happiness is connected. The rest is takeaway. They will pick up those who need your things more. This applies not only to clothing, but also to furniture, kitchen utensils, knick-knacks. We free up living space for the new, let it believe: they are waiting for it here, they are happy for it, they are not afraid of it!

8. We are part of all life on planet Earth. We call on the help of four planetary elements - fire, air, water and earth. It's not magic, it's not sorcery. This is the reality practiced by the people of the millennium. nine0029 - Let candles burn everywhere in the house in compliance with all fire safety rules. Fire will disperse despondency and give strength.
- We drive away melancholy and apathy with the help of water: a contrast shower (hot-cold water with a strong jet) washes away any negativity. Standing in the shower, you can repeat: "With this water, despondency and sadness leave me."
- Early in the morning and before going to bed we breathe deeply in front of an open window or on the balcony, mentally thanking the coming new day of life for everything that it will bring, or the past day, for everything that was. nine0029 - Walking barefoot. It is enough to take 15–20 steps to feel the help of the earth. She will give strength and take away what should be taken away as exhausted ballast. Even in the conditions of the city center, these few steps can be done without surprising or making anyone laugh: we go out in comfortable shoes to the playground, quickly take off our shoes, jump and go home. Nobody will notice. And they will notice - that's all we need! There is a reason to talk!


9. Enter into dialogue with ourselves. This is necessary to realize the main fact: "I have myself." We offer ourselves options for spending time, talking about cherished desires, about our own creative possibilities. We talk to ourselves loudly, in full voice. It can be in different voices. nine0003

10. We call on the help of color sensations. Close your eyes. Notice what color you see. Try to imagine the colors of the rainbow in sequence (remember - Every Hunter Wants to Know Where the Pheasant Sits). Each color should appear in maximum intensity. It won't work right away. Throw bright bedspreads on the furniture: orange, yellow, red are great at fighting a depressive mood.

11. We connect smells. Aromatherapy is a common practice. Changing spirits! We buy air fresheners: let the bedroom smell like the sea or coniferous forest. And let your imagination complete the pictures that tell him the magical smells you have chosen. nine0003

12. Expanding the social circle. We enroll in courses where communication is mandatory. As one of the most suitable options - language intensive. A lot of useful things combined with a very pleasant! Even if there are no pronounced linguistic abilities, classes will not be in vain: vitality rises fabulously (tested many times). Dance classes are also suitable: salsa, tango, waltz. Your body will happily feel the movement in the rhythm of the dance. And let go of your soul!

13. Prepare something tasty according to completely new recipes and invite guests. Whom to invite if there is loneliness and silence from all sides? Of his own neighbor: a neighbor! After all, there is always a neighbor at hand, even if you haven’t noticed her before. Then she will call. And even if one evening a week will be brightened up by communication with not the most important person of your destiny, all the same - communication will bear fruit! nine0003


* Hooray! One at home! No one gets, hangs, does not demand, does not vampirize!
* I can do what I love, learn languages, paint pictures, books, poems, create models of clothes, sculptures, interior design, etc.
* I can cultivate spiritually without being distracted by trifles.
* I don't get irritated over trifles.
* It is easy for me to keep discipline, daily routine.
* I don't have to cook for several people! I don't even have to cook at all! I won't move! I will stay slim. nine0029 * I can do yoga, stand on my head, dance at any time - this will not embarrass anyone, will not bother anyone.
* Finally, the phone is silent! It's good to be alone with your own thoughts.
* How can you be bored with yourself!
* I have a family. Small. It consists of one person - me. Does quantity matter? I take care of my family, my home, my world.
* I fully accept Oscar Wilde's aphorism: "To love yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." nine0029 * Loneliness must be used as a boon, because it will be interrupted at any moment!


* Nobody loves me.
* Nobody needs me.
* Nobody thinks about me.
* Why me?
* This only happens to me - something is wrong with me.
* Nobody likes me.
* I'm bored. It's boring with me.
* I am an unclaimed mediocrity.
* Nobody understands me and nobody wants to understand me.
* I am not beautiful.
* I am fat.
* Nobody talks to me. nine0003

If you think the statements in the first group are predominantly yours, congratulations! You are not alone, even if there is no one around at the moment. It's not a problem. You are in demand. First of all, by yourself. So, you are a magnet for others. If, however, the thoughts presented in the second group are close to you, if for a number of reasons you have allowed yourself to wallow in dislike for yourself, in a lack of new sensations and a real deed, something must be done urgently. Collect the remnants of the will into a fist - and work on yourself! nine0029 What to do? How to behave so that loneliness disappears far and for a long time? Let's attack on all fronts. We touch all spheres of life, without missing anything.

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How to Deal with Feelings of Loneliness - 5 Tips

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LonelinessPractices how to

If feelings of helplessness, hopelessness and despair persist for more than two weeks, it may be worth talking to a counseling psychologist or psychotherapist. Well, if your case is not so difficult, here are some tips on how to quickly get rid of the oppressive feeling of loneliness. nine0003

1. Do, don't think

Loneliness seems to envelop us. As a result, we spend too much time feeling sorry for ourselves and doing nothing. And most often they are sure that this will not change. Such thoughts must be abandoned immediately. Find something to do right now.

By acting instead of thinking, you will break out of the endless cycle of gloomy thoughts.

Work in the garden. Clean out the garage. Wash your car. Chat with neighbors. Call your friends and go to a cafe or a movie with them. Go for a walk. A change of scenery will help to distract from the oppressive melancholy. It is impossible to suffer if you are busy with something. nine0003

2. Be kind to yourself

When we are depressed, self-flagellation will not help. But, unfortunately, we all do this without wanting to. For example, we made a mistake at work that cost a lot, or had a fight with a partner or friend and now we don’t talk to him.

Or maybe we have too many expenses, and there is nowhere to get money from. Instead of discussing with someone everything that worries us, we accumulate it in ourselves. And as a result, we feel incredibly lonely.

When we feel bad, it is important to take care of ourselves. In fact, we often forget about this because of more pressing issues. As a result, we don’t get enough sleep, we don’t eat well, we don’t go in for sports, we overload ourselves. It's time to "reboot" and restore the lost balance, feel better physically. Go to the park, take a bath, read a book in your favorite cafe.

3. Don't isolate yourself

Although it is possible to be lonely in a crowd, communication helps to distract yourself, at least for a while. The best medicine is to get out of the house and find some company. It’s good if it’s a group of friends, but group classes, hobby groups, traveling and hiking in groups are also great ways. It's hard to think about how sad you feel during an interesting conversation. nine0003

4. Discover something new

A guaranteed way to deal with sad feelings is to discover and learn new things. When you turn on the “curiosity gene” and do what really intrigues and interests you, there is no room for blues. Try driving to work on a new road.

Plan a short trip for one day, visit nearby attractions

For example, small towns, parks, forests, nature reserves, museums, memorable places. On the road, try to learn something new, meet new people, so that there is something to remember. nine0003

5. Help others

The surest way to stop feeling sorry for yourself is to help others. This does not mean that you should immediately run to the streets to save the homeless. There are other ways. Sort out your wardrobe, collect things you no longer wear, and donate them to a charity.

Give away old but working electronics, crockery, furniture, linens, toys and other unwanted items to those in need.

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