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Taking wife for granted


5 Signs You're Taking Your Wife for Granted

I can remember recently coming home from work to my wife sitting on the couch attempting to fold a massive pile of laundry. It didn’t take long for me to notice in her silence that she wasn’t in the mood to discuss her day. I tried to play it off at first, but once I asked her what’s wrong, she reluctantly admitted to feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. She explained that while does so much for me and the kids, sometimes no one even seems to notice or care—that we act entitled to her “services.”

I had to admit she wasn’t all wrong. My wife was feeling taken for granted in marriage for all she does and all she contributes. Thankfully, I’ve learned some things to help avoid this. Here are 5 signs you might be taking your wife for granted.

1. You never acknowledge the routine chores she does.

Every couple handles household work differently. But when common household chores become heavily one-sided, your wife can quickly feel taken for granted, especially when her work goes unrecognized. Don’t be the guy who rarely notices or acknowledges all his wife does (laundry, dishes, cleaning, working to provide for the family, paying the bills). Just a simple thank you can make all the difference.

2. You’re OK with her doing the “heavy lifting” with the family.

If your wife is like mine, she puts in many hours to make family life work. This might include being the kids’ taxi driver and doing the shopping and cooking. If so, your wife regularly needs some relief. Because she doesn’t complain, it’s easy just to let her do the things we easily could do for her to lighten her load.

3. Your needs always come first.

Putting your spouse’s needs before your own is not only the foundation of a good marriage, it’s a good way to acknowledge your wife’s value. If you’re regularly spending money, making choices, and taking time for yourself at the expense of your wife, or without her having the same options and priority, you might be taking her for granted.

4.

You haven’t complimented or praised her in a while.

If you can’t remember the last time you raved about or surprised your wife, it’s probably time to do so.

Your wife wants and needs to hear you say “I love you.” And she enjoys your compliments. Every now and then, it’s just nice for her to come home to some fresh flowers or her favorite kind of chocolate. It’s not as hard as you think. If you can’t remember the last time you raved about or surprised your wife, it’s probably time to do so.

5. She tells you so.

If your wife has recently told you something like “you don’t realize how much I do around here” or “all I want to know is that what I do is appreciated,” you might need to take her words to heart and admit that you’re likely taking her for granted.

Sound off: Which of these five things hit closest to home that you could work on this week?

13 Subtle Signs You're Taking Your Spouse for Granted — Best Life

Keeping your marriage healthy over the course of months, years, or decades is no small feat. However, when it comes to what really sours a formerly happy union, it's not only about infidelity or incompatible personalities. In many cases, neglecting to show your partner that you appreciate them can cause an irreparable rift in your relationship—and unlike more blatant transgressions, you may not even know you're doing it. That's why we've talked to therapists and relationship experts to let you know the subtle signs you're taking your spouse for granted—and what you can do to stop.

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Do you think your partner's just better with the kids than you are? Are they the only one who can cook without giving everyone food poisoning? While it may seem complimentary to tell your spouse that they're more competent than you at certain household tasks, assuming that they should always take the lead when it comes those chores is a sign you're probably taking them for granted.

"This is a huge issue between spouses, because demands set up a parent/child dynamic rather than a partnership," says Leah Abrusci, MS, LMFT, founder of Steeped in Hope Marriage and Family Therapy. "Make genuine requests of your partner," she says, instead of assuming that they'll simply see those tasks as their job because you do.

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While you may feel like you appreciate everything your spouse does for you and your family, if you're not actually going out of your way to express that gratitude, it may be less clear from their perspective.

"[Some] spouses feel like their partner doesn't even know what they do to make the relationship and household run smoothly and when you're feeling that way, it's really hard to want to do more because it feels like there is no point," Abrusci says.

If you want to combat this issue, Abrusci recommends complimenting them on specific things they've done around the house instead of assuming that they are just doing what's expected of them.

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You've told your spouse a million times how much you love them—that has to count for something, right? But what are some other ways you show how much you love and value them? If you are struggling to find an answer, then start prioritizing your relationship's health and growth with rituals like regular date nights or sharing a kiss when you leave the house in the morning.

"The most important thing is that you both feel like the relationship is getting the time and attention that it needs," Abrusci says.

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If you think your spouse should give thanks every time you pick up your dirty socks from the floor or load the dishwasher, you're likely doing those things for the wrong reasons.ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb

"You see your contribution as doing a favor," says Danni Zhang, principal psychologist and founder of New Vision Psychology Private Psychology Services. Enjoy their gratitude when it comes, but don't expect it, and don't be disappointed if it doesn't.

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Sure, you're not a mind reader, but that doesn't mean you should be waiting for your spouse's cue to take out the trash or change your baby's diaper.

"You are taking for granted that your spouse is the primary home-keeper," Zhang says. Having a weekly meeting with your spouse to share your opinions of how the past week went, and discuss what needs to be done in the coming one, can keep potential resentment bay, she says.

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While your work life and your personal life may seem like distinct entities, if you're making career choices without consulting your spouse first, you're sending a signal that the two of you are not equal partners in the relationship, Zhang says. Whether you're pursuing a promotion that would mean working longer hours or thinking of accepting a position that requires you to relocate, she recommends always touching base with your partner to consider their opinions and concerns before making any decisions.

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Let's set the record straight once and for all: If a parent is spending time with their child, they are parenting, not babysitting.

When parents use this type of language they're sending the message that they are merely doing a favor for their spouse, who is the real primary caregiver of the child, Zhang says. It's important to your relationship that you accept that you're in this together and that childcare is a responsibility that you share equally.

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Relationships require compromise—but sometimes, one partner does a whole lot more of the compromising than the other. When this happens, an unhealthy dynamic can develop where one partner is so used to getting what they want that they expect it no matter what.

"If you find that your spouse is always compromising for you, or doing things that you want to do, but that it is not reciprocated, your partner may feel taken advantage of and under-appreciated," explains licensed psychologist Laura Louis. To fix things, she suggests making a vested effort to do things your spouse's way as well, making it clear to them that your decision-making isn't a one-way street.

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It may feel foreign to put down your phone or turn off the TV when you and your spouse are just having a casual conversation, but that probably means it's all the more important that you make an effort to do so.

"Give your spouse your undivided attention and respond to what they're saying as a way to show them that you're listening," Louis says.

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Even if you're financially comfortable, spending large amounts of money without checking in with your partner exhibits a lack of trust and respect that isn't positive for your relationship.

"If one partner is working incredibly hard to save money (and you have a financial goal you're working toward together), but you then decide to go on a shopping spree, this can be disrespectful," says Lauren Cook, MMFT.

To get on the same page, Cook suggests using a shared budgeting app and scheduling weekly check-ins to discuss your financial situation.

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If you're not regularly checking in to see how your partner's feeling or how their day is going, you're not being as attentive as they probably wish you were being.

"Both wives and husbands love feeling needed and thought of during the day," explains marriage and relationship coach Stacey Greene, who recommends texting your partner throughout the day to say "I love you" or ask how they're doing.

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Similar to the importance of wooing your spouse with romantic gestures, taking pride in how you look, dress, and present yourself, shows your partner that you care about being attractive to them. Not doing so—even just once in a while—can be a major red flag that there is something off about your relationship.

"Going the extra mile of looking good all the time really leads to respect for yourself as well as keeping your partner always wanting to look at you instead of someone else," Greene says.

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Never being the one to start things up in the bedroom because you assume that your spouse will initiate sex can be a major red flag.

"It is so easy to fall into a rut if your sexual needs are getting met," says psychologist Tiiu Lutter, MA, co-owner of Richmond & Lutter Family and Couples Therapy.

To do your part and keep yourself honest, Lutter recommends scheduling nights that you will initiate things. "Put a star in your calendar once a month and on that day, make sure that you are the one starting the action," she says. This helps alleviate some of the pressure on your spouse and can make them feel more desired than they were as the sole initiator.

TAKE EVERYTHING FOR GOD. Stop whining, keep your head up!

take everything for granted

Another issue related to marriage that I would like to address is that people are starting to take everything and each other for granted. In a line from a song by Johnny Stait and Red Lane: Since we said "yes", there have been many "no" - a lot of bitter truth.

Any marriage must tirelessly fight the monster that destroys everything. This monster is called habit.

Honoré de Balzac

For many people, being married is like having a permanent job: you let everything take its course and you start taking everything for granted. I don't believe in possession. Possession is the guarantee of laziness. I also believe that a marriage based on possession is doomed to fail. Once you start taking everything for granted, you become lazy. Walk down the street and look at the couples. Look at those who have been married since their university days. She was in a cheerleading squad and he was an athlete. Today, she's still cute and fit, while he's got a belly hanging out of his pants because he's twenty kilos overweight. Today, he takes it for granted that he has a sweet little wife. He may love her. Maybe he's a good father. But he takes it for granted that she finds him attractive, even though his body resembles a sack of potatoes. But it also happens: he does everything to maintain an excellent physical shape, and she has become dull, her gray hair shows through, she rarely wears makeup and believes that dressing well means putting on a clean tracksuit. She became lazy and began to take her husband for granted. She does not understand why her husband turns his neck, looking at the beauties passing by. I can list a dozen more situations that you will immediately recognize; take a look at your own marriage or analyze the relationships of your friends and you will understand what I mean. But, like most people, you are likely to resort to such excuses: you work hard, you are raising children, you are very tired, and that is why you no longer take care of yourself, as you did before. I'm sorry, but that's not how it works. If you cared, you would do anything to be number one for your spouse. And not out of a sense of duty, but of their own free will.

I've often heard men say, "What do I care if I don't look like I used to? I've already found a wife." It's funny to hear what stupid words are said by people who had problems with grammar. Did you find a wife? And what is she, a pretty pebble that you found on the shore and with which you will never part? Do you really hope that once you have found a wife or husband, you no longer need to do everything in your power to please her or him? Do you really hope so? Then get ready for an imminent break, because your soul mate will find such a person who has the time and desire to work hard to look good.

Of course, it's not just about looks. When you courted your current wife, did you open the door for her? When you first dated or first got married, did you make fresh coffee for your current spouse while he shaved before going to work? Did you rub her feet after a hard day? Did you compliment each other? Have you discussed how your spouse's day went, what he or she thinks, wants, dreams about? Then it's better to do it all over again. And if you do not do all of this, and this is just a small part, which I took just for example, then you are lazy and take your other half and your relationship for granted.

TAKING EVERYTHING FOR GOD

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90 Take close and dear people for granted or Appreciate your family and friends

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6 signs your boyfriend is taking you for granted

Life isn't always fair to each of us, but that's what makes it honest, as ironic as it sounds.

Author Kluber To read 16 min. Views 7.6k. Posted by

Have you ever cared about a person so much that you were physically hurt if he ignored you? Have you loved someone madly, but all your efforts were in vain because this person did not appreciate you or did not want to give you a chance? Have you spent all your time and energy trying to make this person's life better, and in the end he neglected all this? Have you given your all to the relationship to the point where your partner starts taking you for granted and then just walks away without looking back?

Life isn't always fair to each of us, but that's what makes it honest, no matter how ironic it may sound. You can find yourself in a relationship where you put a lot of effort into, while your boyfriend will not only constantly demand something from you without offering anything in return, but also refuse to recognize and respect your efforts. This means that he refuses to give you the love you deserve and instead takes you for granted.

Such relationships are much more toxic than you might imagine. They make you stop thinking about yourself. The only person you appreciate doesn't respect or love you the way you deserve. It makes you feel like you don't deserve anything good in this life at all.

Continuing to invest all of yourself in a relationship with a person who does not care, you are exhausted and take away time from yourself that could be spent on yourself and on new interesting experiences. You only live once and the time spent on another person will never come back to you. Taking this into account, you should definitely make sure that the person to whom you give all of yourself understands this and appreciates you, and not just uses you and takes you for granted. The love you give him may never come back to you. He should have at least some respect for your efforts.

Love is a two-way street. It takes a long time to earn respect and just a second of disdain to destroy. Despite the fact that for each of us love means something different, there is still one main factor that is the same for everyone: the ability to appreciate and respect each other.

We, as humans, tend to take everything for granted and realize the value of a person after we have lost him. There are so many wonderful people in our world who are trying hard to find a reason to keep those who are simply not worthy of them. They keep trying anyway, simply because that's the way they're made. They tend to worry too much about everything and fight for two. How can they escape from what's inside? Such a manifestation of kindness is the only right decision for them, and they will consider any deviation from the given path to be wrong, and they will never want to let go of those they love. Such a person will put all of himself into the relationship, no matter how his partner perceives it.

Such people play an important role and really change other people's lives for the better. What are we doing? We just leave them no other choice. We drag them into the darkness, where there is no love, no respect, no trust. When they leave, they leave behind a feeling of emptiness in the heart. Only then does awareness come to us, and we begin to regret that we missed them, never having learned to appreciate them.

If there is a person in your life who takes your feelings and your kindness for granted, cut off all ties with him. Not only will it hinder your personal growth, but it will also lower your self-esteem.

Here are some signs that your partner is taking you for granted:

  1. He doesn't respect your opinion

Some people have an opinion on everything and there is nothing wrong with that. However, there are times when you just want to share your opinion on a topic with a person, and he, instead of calmly discussing it with you, gets angry and stubbornly tries to impose his point of view on you. He doesn't care at all what you think.

This may be about everyday situations or specific issues in your relationship - your partner always dismisses your opinion as if it means nothing. This behavior indicates that he does not respect your opinion.

The willingness to listen to your partner, as well as the desire to pay attention to what is really important to him, can tell a lot about a person. If your boyfriend doesn't show any interest in hearing your opinion, he's missing out on a chance to get to know you better.

Of course, you can be quiet and prefer to listen rather than talk, but still, you can't deny the fact that even in such cases there are important topics that you want to discuss with your boyfriend. If he does not respect you so much that he refuses to listen, then there is no point in staying with him. You need someone who will value your opinion just as much as you value it.

Nobody canceled the right to freedom of speech. Each person has their own beliefs and views. Of course, you should not obey and agree with absolutely everything that your boyfriend says. You should at least respect your partner's opinion and not be judgmental. In any long-term relationship, there comes a point where you have to choose between your relationship and conflict. Don't forget that your relationship is the most important thing if you truly love your partner. If you want to save a relationship, you must understand how important it is to be able to compromise.

You should avoid conflict at all costs, but if you do get into an argument, feel free to apologize. If your partner's ego is the most important thing to him, he will turn your relationship into a toxic one and make you unhappy. In such cases, it is better to cut off any ties than to deal with emotional trauma day by day.

  1. You are not a priority for him

Some people have quite busy schedules and are constantly busy. At the very beginning of a relationship, everything is fine and your boyfriend may even forget about his business in order to spend time with you. However, as your relationship develops, his behavior begins to change, and you notice it. Every time he promises to go on a date with you or spend time together, something happens at the last moment and he cancels the meeting.

We must respect those who give us some time out of their schedule and love those who forget their schedule altogether for us. When you have a lot of work that your boss wants you to finish before the evening, and you have a dinner planned at a new restaurant with your boyfriend that you don’t want to miss, you just postpone everything until later and go to his meeting, as promised .

And now you are both enjoying your time together and now he gets a call from work. This issue can be easily resolved over the phone, but instead he decides to leave you and deal with it himself. What does this behavior tell you? It looks like he takes you for granted, doesn't he? If you are not a priority for him, but rather a fallback, leave him and find yourself a better man.

It hurts, but why waste your time and give yourself to someone who takes you for granted? In the end, everything will end with the fact that you give him all of yourself without a trace and you will have nothing left for yourself or for more worthy people who will appear in your life.

Being a backup to the person you have devoted your whole life to is very difficult. Even the most insignificant things are a higher priority for them than you, and this will hurt you a lot. It happens once, then twice, and then it becomes a habit.

It is interesting for every person to get to know his partner at the very beginning of a relationship, and as long as both of them have this interest, the relationship will develop successfully, but if he starts to disappear, the feelings themselves will fade away. Sometimes it won't be anyone's fault, because some people are just not meant to be in a relationship.

We like how certain words sound and how they make us feel. We like the very idea of ​​love, but not at all what is necessary in order to keep it. Love is a struggle. Love does not lie in that initial phase of a relationship when you see everything around you in a rainbow light and butterflies flutter in your stomach.

If there comes a moment in a relationship when your partner stops showing interest in you and appreciating everything you do for him, it would be best to cut off any ties with him and move on with your life.

  1. He becomes a different person when he wants physical intimacy

During the day he is not very friendly towards you, but as soon as his hormones begin to play and he wants more, he turns into a different person. He will try to be funny and charming, but just to satisfy his sexual desires, and when everything ends, he becomes the same again. You are not anyone's toy, so respect yourself. Physical intimacy is something sacred and should never be desecrated in this way.

We accept the love we think we deserve. Only if you yourself consider yourself worthy of a meaningful relationship filled with love and respect can you accept the best manifestations of his love. Otherwise, you will never notice his true intentions when he treats you well just for the sake of sex, and then again becomes indifferent and no longer respects you. He takes your kindness for granted when he only uses you for sex, and the rest of the time he doesn't even want to know you.

Don't you think you deserve more? You are not a thing that can be used and then put aside as useless. Then why should relationships be any different? You have to walk away from the person who takes advantage of you, robs you of valuable time and energy, and then walks away like you mean nothing to them.

Most relationships these days are based on lust. We are attracted by the naked body of a person, and not at all by his naked soul. The body is just a shell, while the soul is the person himself. If you don't really know a person, then you stay with him only for the sake of satisfying your sexual needs.

If your partner is only interested in physical intimacy, and when you try to get close to him emotionally and he just ignores you, then he is only with you to satisfy his sexual hunger.

  1. He doesn't appreciate you

People often think that only the big things are important in a relationship: that wonderful trip you went on together, the famous museum you visited, the karaoke bar you went to drunk and all your friends knew about it, joint moving and everything that follows. This list can be continued indefinitely.

But in most cases, life together is about the little things. These are the memories that you mentally return to at the end of each day. Even the smallest acts of love and kindness are what generally strengthen your relationship. If your partner does not notice all the little things that you do for him, your relationship is hanging in the balance.

One day you prepare a delicious dinner for him, despite the fact that you have many other things to do, but he is so busy that he does not even thank you. He does not understand the value of what is right in front of him. He keeps doing this over and over again, neglecting you and hurting you.

If he takes even the smallest things for granted, how can you be sure that he will appreciate something more serious? Don't let him neglect you like that and demand what you deserve, namely a person who notices how much love you do everything for him, thanks you for it, and also tells you how much he appreciates it and how it helps him cope with stress Everyday life.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if the person with whom you share your life does not see it, then he is not the one. He takes you for granted.

Everyone likes to hear compliments. I once sat with a 7-year-old child and you will be surprised how perceptive children can be. They know more about this life than most adults.

This child comes up to me and says that I will compliment my wife even when he gets fat and has wrinkles. He said this with such innocence and truth in his eyes, and then I realized that when he grows up, he will make his future chosen one the happiest. No one is perfect in this world and you need to learn to find perfection in other people's shortcomings, because this is where love is manifested.

When you are in love with a person, his shortcomings turn into advantages for you. You see much more than just his outer shell and manage to find something in him that he did not know about.

  1. He ignores your messages

If you want to tell him something important, or just to know if he's okay and when he'll be home, he never answers you. He simply ignores your messages or replies to them after a few hours. There is nothing wrong if it happened once or twice. If it has become a habit, then you have a problem.

You keep quiet and don't tell him anything about it, and he begins to think that he can continue to ignore you like this. If you still find the strength in yourself and ask why he does this, he will try to laugh it off or come up with some kind of unconvincing excuse.

This is definitely not a sign of respect and care from the person with whom you have a relationship. You have to support each other even when you are apart. Thanks to modern technology, we can stay in touch with loved ones, no matter where they are.

If he doesn't even bother to answer you, then he doesn't care about the distance between you. He takes you for granted. If he ignores you from a distance, then he will continue to do this even when you are around and need his attention.

Such behavior is not a sign of a healthy relationship. If you get into trouble or you have some kind of emergency, you will need him to be around, and he himself will not even bother to answer you. This is a clear manifestation of disrespect and disregard for your well-being. You should not stay with such a person.

  1. He hides something serious from you and acts like it's small things

In any relationship, it is necessary to be open to each other. This is a sign that you trust your partner and let them into your world. This strengthens the love and respect in your relationship. Both partners deserve to know personal details about each other, but somehow you have no idea what he does in his personal life. You don't know what he does at work and what he thinks about. He may make an important decision without even consulting you, and then come up with some kind of excuse. You are always the last to know about what his friends and family have known for a long time. Sometimes, even his colleagues know more than you. This attitude towards you is the main sign that he takes you for granted. Just because you're willing to give him some personal space and time doesn't mean you can take your trust for granted.

When you enter into a relationship with a person, you share your life with him, which means that you must be ready to share your plans, goals, dreams and all that with him. You tell him absolutely everything, but as soon as it's his turn, he brushes it off. Trust must come from both sides. If he takes your trust for granted, and he does not want to trust you in return, why do you need to continue all this?

If there is a person in your life who takes you for granted and you notice in his behavior all or several of the signs described above, then it is time to take certain steps to correct the situation. I like people who are willing to fight for their relationship, but if you're the only one fighting and your partner isn't taking action, then you need to reevaluate your relationship and act accordingly. If you keep trying, it will take away all the positive energy from you and affect not only your relationships, but also your stability. You won't always get back exactly as much as you give, but at least you should get something.

This is the only way to understand where your relationship is headed. You can be the person who always loves harder, cares more, smiles brighter, cry longer, but if your boyfriend doesn't make the slightest attempt to acknowledge all the things you do for him, then he takes you for granted.

Move on with your life and find someone who will give you the love and respect you deserve and make you feel that all your efforts have been appreciated. Before committing yourself to a relationship, make sure your partner understands how lucky they are and won't take you for granted.

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