Push pull manipulation

Push-pull Technique - Psychological Manipulation

by Zan

Before I get into the details of a push-pull technique (what I call the fishing technique), I would like to say that I am personally not an advocate of this method.

It’s a mind game that requires a lot of planning and scheming in order to attract the other person.

This can either work with someone you just started to date, your partner or an ex. It’s a psychological manipulation technique that works like a magnet.

So if you don’t care about your dignity and moral values, continue reading to find out how to use it.

How does the push-pull technique work?

The push-pull technique works like fishing. The girl/guy you are trying to get is the catch, the rod is the push-pull technique and bait is your psychological manipulation scheme.  

Essentially what ends up happening with the push-pull technique is that you become the mastermind and direct how the course of the relationship with the targeted person will unfold.

For example, you are talking to a girl and you notice she becomes unsure or aloof and she distances herself from you due to whatever reason.

Since you are desperate, you come across the push-pull technique and you start applying it (of course, at your own risk). I can’t stress this enough. Manipulating someone into being attracted to you is wrong on many levels.

When two people are in contact, they have the desire to connect and feel validated. It’s a basic human desire engraved in our brains to maximize our chances of survival.

This dates back far back in history and evolution of human beings. This need hasn’t changed since. People are still strongly dependent on one another for many reasons. Bonding with another person releases chemicals throughout the brain, leaving us wanting more. Without thinking too much about it, the brain wants what gives us pleasure and avoids everything that causes us pain.

Let’s see how we can exploit this human need by using the push-pull technique.


Before using this technique give the person you are trying to attract the best attraction experience no other living person can.

Tell them how important they are in your life and how you wish you could stay friends forever. In this way, you pump them up with the impression of unconditional friendship, loyalty, devotion…

When you have accomplished the goal of making them attracted to you enough, let them go cold turkey by disappearing and acting distant.

  1. Show indifference and anything that shows interest in the following ways:
    • become genuinely disinterested in their life
    • hang out near their place with the opposite gender to arouse preselection
    • stop all contact, reply briefly, pick up the call and make an excuse to leave shortly (friend coming over)
    • postpone/cancel meet-ups
  2. Your feelings for this person are now “vague” which significantly raised your value in their eyes and you went from beta to alpha in a matter of minutes.

  1. You invite them out. By now they should be starving for your attention. They are wondering what you have been up to so you apologize for calling rain check on them. You come up with some bs excuse like your grandma dying or parents’ divorce (sick, I know), and how you have been coping with stress. They now start to sympathize with you and you go back to being your old, friendly self. Now is the time you tell them again how you appreciate their support and make definite plans to enjoy some quality time together.
  2. Staying positive and upbeat, now allows that person to start forming an unhealthy emotional bond with you. This sort of behavior starts to slowly reel her back into your life. This time, the victim wants to make sure, you don’t push them away again to avoid their pain. They begin to invest more and more, thinking they it’s them who are responsible to soothe your anxiety and the need to pull away.

By now, that person thinks you are a really great person for sticking around. They consciously or subconsciously think they play an important role in your life for which they give themselves credit for. This person appreciates you sharing your vulnerability with them and they, as a result, begin to open themselves up.

Now you want to repeat both the pushing and pulling process but on a milder level (you are going to run out of grandmas at some point and there’s only so much drama they are going to tolerate). I wouldn’t recommend using this technique more than twice or thrice as you will end up overdoing it.

As you start using this push-pull technique, the power in your relationship will shift over to you. They will become dependent on your validation and appreciation of their presence.

Once you’ve successfully pulled off this manipulation, you become the puppet master and hold the cards in the relationship. You are now the mastermind and have complete control of your situation. Since you are willing to go to the means of manipulation, I urge you to find out how to become the best version of yourself. 🙂

Dangers of using this technique:

  • decide if it’s the right thing to do for you
  • living with a devious past
  • over-pushing the other person away
  • overdramatizing
  • simply failing at applying it properly

Let me know what you think about this push-pull technique. Did it make sense? Have you done it before to someone without thinking about it? Perhaps you’ve been manipulated in this way before? Share your thoughts below.

The Push Pull Method of Flirting (Examples + Research)

Push Pull is one of the most stimulating flirting techniques out there, but how effective is it?

Our brains love contradiction, I mean… even the opening line of this article was a contradiction posed as a question.

Strangely enough, many women are great at the push pull technique without even trying, but because many guys come off desperate or needy, it takes some practice to even become adequate at this technique.  

What is it?

Push Pull is defined as “Saying something nice and dove tailing it with something mean or saying something mean and dove tailing it with something nice.

You might be asking, “What is the Push Pull Technique?”: 

  • Push: Expressing disinterest in a girl. 
  • Pull: Expressing interest in a girl. 
  • PushPull: Expressing interest, then disinterest to increase attraction.

So in this video (and article), I’m going to teach you how to show interest, which is also called the pull; and how to show disinterest, which is also called the push. I’ll also give you some examples and explain some expert opinions on the effectiveness of it.

Many people think the push pull technique is a style of flirting where you can just memorize lines, but to effectively attract a girl through interest and disinterest, you must cater the style to the girl you are using it on, which means you must do some research or already have a good foundation of attraction – which you can learn from taking my Psychology of Attraction course.  

Push/pull is a very difficult skill, with a very simple process which can make you lose the girl entirely. So when you think about using any of these, be sure that it won’t come off as if you’re an idiot. 

Think of this style of flirting as hanging a toy in front of a cat. If you hold the toy in front of the cat, they won’t go after it – in fact if you lay it on the ground they won’t even look twice, but if you dangle it and pull it back right when they swat at it, creating movement… they’ll go crazy and want the toy even more. 

Lets move on to ways to show interest, or how to pull a girl. If you’re interested, I’ve also written an entire article on ways to get a girl to like you!

How to “Pull” a Girl you like

So you can obviously compliment her in a physical manner. Say something about her hair, her smile, the dress she is wearing, something about how she looks. The catch to this is that it’s very surface level but it’s also very easy. Anyone can complement someone else based on their physical appearance.  

Mention something you like about her

The next thing you can pull a girl in is by talking about a characteristic you have noticed. Maybe you did you research and know she likes to dance, ask her for a dance. Perhaps she’s really good at mixing drinks, or is amazing at decorating cakes. You gotta know something about her characteristics to complement her on these. These are a level deeper than just physical, but you should have met her once or twice. A cool psychological trick is to mention something you both like to do – because we automatically like people who like the things we like, something else I explain in full in my new course. Maybe she likes to ride horses, say that you grew up on a farm and loved riding them too. 

“Haven’t I seen you before?”

Another way to pull her in is to mention that maybe you’ve seen her before, or have heard of her from a friend. “Are you the girl that won first place in the marathon?” “Are you related to John Doe?” and maybe even “My friend said you could paint better than anyone he’s ever seen, is this true?” Basically, you can pull someone in by relating their world to your world somehow. Find a connection between you two and execute on it to go in for the approach and pull. 

There’s also nonverbal cues to pull a girl in. The most obvious is body language. Keep your body language open, which means don’t cross your arms, make sure your feet stay pointed towards her, and stay close in proximity. Basically give her the opportunity to approach you. 

Eye Contact

Eye contact is probably the most important non-verbal cue simply because one 7 second glance is sometimes the most attractive thing you can literally do. There’s studies that prove this. Just look at her and smile if she looks back. Hold the eye contact for a just a little bit longer than when you start to feel awkward and attraction just happens. I explain why and give more details in my course, but to keep it short – just remember eye contact is important. 

Finger Gestures

A lesser known cue is to simply look at the girl you are trying to flirt with and make the “come here” motion with your hands. This is literally pulling her in. An alternative is to look at her and make a phone out of your hand like you’re saying “call me”. 

How to “Push” a Girl you like

You can show disinterest by pointing out something physical about the person you’re talking to. This is hard because you can offend someone super easily. You know “I think you’re really cute but it’s too bad you’re not my type. High Heels, I mean really?” I would avoid using these, but I’ll give some push examples in a little bit. 

Use a Time Restraint

Another way to push her away is to add a time restraint. This is basically just limiting the time you are in conversation with her by saying you have somewhere else to be. Say you’re in a good conversation, but you interrupt it “I told my friends I’d meet them 5 minutes ago, I have to leave!” or something like “As fun as it is talking to you, I really need to go switch my laundry”. By pulling away from her, you are essentially pushing her away by committing to an alternative activity.

Restricted Request

Restricted Request is basically asking her to do something, but adding a clause, or a string to the gesture. “I’ll give you my phone number, but you have to promise not to text me right away or call me too much”. Another example is like “Want to go to a concert tomorrow? You have to promise not to embarrass me though, I’ve heard you can be wild” The idea is to ask for something, but add a relevant joke or restriction to the asking that pushes her away.

Look Away

One simple way of pulling away is to just look away, look at something else. Look over her shoulder like there’s something there you’re interested in, or maybe look at outside or at someone else.

Closing your body language

It’s easy to push her away just with your body language. Point your toes away from her and towards the closest exit if you’re in a building. Cross your arms like you’re upset, and even make the anger microexpression if you missed my video on it. Make some space between you two, and even grab something to create a barrier.  

Examples of Push Pull Flirting

  • Hug her and then say “Ok, that’s enough” physically pushing her a little bit
  • Get away from me, I can’t have you around. You’re way too cute and tempting
  • If I was into brunettes, I would be all over you
  • I get the feeling you spend a lot of time in the library.
  • If she cuts you off or interrupts you, “Did you just cut me off again? I’m going to have to teach you some manners.”
  • You blink a lot.

Many girls will say this method is rude and not authentic, according to my own personal survey, Reddit comments and many other sources. In fact, tons of people say the Push Pull Dating Technique is quite unreliable. Check out how it works in texting:

Remember that if you do end of picking up a girl with this method, she might have a tendency to need attention – because girls who respond well to this type of flirting enjoy attention otherwise they wouldn’t “chase” you when you pushed them away.  

Imagine if someone did the same to you. You’re in a business situation and the guy goes, “Well, we think we can pay you this year, but we also need a new copy machine”. It happens all the time, not that rude, and it’s quite effective in negotiations, but how does it make you feel in the relationship?

What about if a girl did this to you? “You’re cute, but you look like my brother”.

Well, that’s okay you might say. “My brother also killed 3 women and is currently serving life, but you definitely have his smile!”. Yeah… see? There’s a line, and if you cross it you can kiss your chance goodbye instead of kissing her. 

There’s also a few differences between emotional vs physical push pull. In one example, you can pushpull a girl without ever physically touching her: “Hey, that’s a beautiful dress, too bad your shoes don’t match”. While there is also physical push pull when you physically pull her in to hug her, but then push her away in the middle of the hug. You could say something like “You’re not the best hugger”.

Scientific Research

I wasn’t able to find very much academic research on the effects of push-pull flirting, however there was one particular study that showed some interesting results. 

In a study titled “The Ups and Downs of Dating”, researchers found that fluctuations of security in the early days of a relationship was really, really bad.

It stated “Individuals who exhibited greater fluctuation in their repeated satisfaction ratings were more likely to be in relationships that eventually ended” and also “they had relatively lower commitment”.

Basically, you may be able to get her using manipulation, specifically using the withdrawal of affection, but you won’t be able to keep them.

So I’d say long-term push pull doesn’t work – I’d say it’s best to keep this style of flirting as a teasing method. If you want to learn more about attraction girls, and some pickup methods that are actually really helpful and lay a foundation of a great long-term relationship, check out my Psychology of Attraction course in the sidebar! Hope you guys enjoyed this video and learned something!

Running in a new outboard motor - instructions for two-stroke and four-stroke from 5Shop.

Have you purchased a new powerboat engine and you can't wait to try it out? The first thing to do with the motor after purchase is to break it in. No manufacturer can guarantee the perfect match of the inner cylinders with the piston rings and the fit of other parts to each other.

Important! There is no single outboard engine break-in manual for all models. This article covers general recommendations and important points. Read about the break-in of your engine and the proportions of oil in the manufacturer's instructions!

Proper break-in of a new outboard motor helps to wear in all parts of the engine. This reduces the risk of motor wedge, and increases its service life.

Boat motor run-in - preparations.

Some customers make a serious mistake and start the engine for the first time without water supply. It can be a courier service department, or it can't wait to start at home. If the motor is new and the first start has not been made in the service center, do such manipulations strictly forbidden !

Some engines have already been run in production. This will be indicated in the instructions. If the motor is bought with delivery in Ukraine and with an advance payment, the seller often makes the first launch at the company's service center at his own expense. For example, when buying a boat motor at 5Shop on a prepaid basis, you receive a motor in the department with a mark on the first start. Naturally, if payment is upon receipt, then no one will risk and put all the marks in the service book with your last name until the moment of payment.

If there are no notes in the service book and instructions, you need to test swim on your own.

After unpacking and placing the motor, fill the gearbox with oil. It must be of high quality, original and, most importantly, for outboard motors. Usually, the instructions include a recommendation for the brand of fuel fluid.

Attention! In the Ukrainian market, the vast majority of outboard motors are sold with gear oil already filled from the factory. It needs to be changed only after a break-in.

To fill the oil yourself, position the engine perpendicular to the ground and unscrew the top and bottom caps. Fill the liquid with a syringe from the bottom up until it starts to pour out from above. After that, screw the top cover first, and then the bottom one.

A 2-stroke outboard engine is run-in by adding oil to gasoline in a ratio of 1 to 25. A couple of drops of oil can also be added to a 4-stroke engine.

Detailed instructions for running in outboard motor.

The break-in process for a new outboard motor takes about 10 hours. Therefore, it is better not to plan to go fishing on this day. All manipulations are performed on the reservoir. For motors of low power (up to 15 hp), a test swim in a container of water is acceptable. Running in a four-stroke outboard motor is a little different than running in a two-stroke engine.

There are many useful videos on the Internet about how to break in your outboard motor. So that you do not waste time looking for them, here are some of them in which everything is clearly shown:

Running-in two-stroke outboard motor.

Most of the recommendations are based on the fact that for break-in it is enough to roll out the first tank of the fuel mixture with an oil content increased by 2 times the norm. If normal operation assumes an oil to gasoline ratio of 1:50, then 1:25 is used for break-in. But if we discard such a narrow theory, 5Shop experts recommend the following break-in scheme:

  1. After starting the engine for 15 minutes, the engine should run at minimum speed. Control the operation of the cooling system. The presence of excessive smoke is the norm, because. you are using more oil.
  2. Gradually increase the speed to 40% of maximum power. In this mode, the engine should run for about an hour.
  3. At the beginning of the next hour, start gradually increasing the power every 60 minutes for 6 hours. Bring the speed to 75% of the maximum.
  4. Run the engine alternately for the last 3 hours. Do not rev up to 100% for more than 5 minutes. After, up to 30 minutes of movement at a power of 3/4 of the maximum.
  5. Let the engine idle for a few minutes before shutting off.

Four-stroke outboard engine break-in.

A few simple tips will tell you how best to break in four-stroke outboard engines.

  1. Start the engine and let it run at idle or minimum speed until the first tank of fuel is empty. Increase gas periodically up to 50% of maximum power.
  2. Increase the RPM to 70% for the next hour.
  3. Next 8 hours running-in of a 4-stroke outboard motor takes place at an average load with a periodic increase in speed to a maximum.

What to do after running in a new outboard motor.

Be sure to change the gear oil in the gearbox after a test run. It is not recommended to independently make the first oil change, otherwise the engine will fly off the warranty. For the first change of fuel fluid, contact the warranty service center. Specialists will carry out a full maintenance, check the condition of the motor and put an appropriate mark in the service book.

After running in a 4-stroke outboard engine, the oil must also be changed in the crankcase on a cold engine. If the test swim is made in winter, the spark plugs need to be replaced.

Please note that the remaining gasoline has a high oil content. Do not forget to dilute the fuel to normal levels.

Let us remind you once again that the correct running-in of each model of the outboard motor is individual and is described in the technical data sheet. The only thing that is not there is these useful tips discussed in the article.

Let your engine last longer after break-in. Sincerely, 5shop.com.ua

XA1E-BV4U02R from 9305.06 rubles, manufacturer IDEC


On request

Technical Data Sheet (3. 63MB) EN

PDF, 3.63 MB


IDEC - XA1E-BV4U02R, Emergency Stop Button, DPST-NC, Push Pull, Quick Connect, Solder, 3 A, 250 V

Item number



Delivery time and price will be communicated upon your request


XA1E-BV4U02R Features:

Product Line XA Series
Contact Configuration DPST-NC
IP rating IP65
Maximum Contact Current 3
Rated Contact Voltage DC -
Rated Contact Voltage AC 250
Switch Operation Two-stroke
Switch Terminals Quick Connect Solder
Button Activation Style Mushroom
Manufacturer IDEC

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