Psychological abusive relationships


What is emotional abuse? | The National Domestic Violence Hotline

“I don’t want you going out with them. I trust you; I just don’t trust them.”

“You know you can’t get anyone better than me. You are lucky to be with me.”

“Are you sure you want to eat that? I’m just attracted to someone who takes care of themselves.”

“You’re so dumb. I knew this would be over your head.”

Do any of these sentences sound familiar? If so, you might be in an emotionally abusive relationship.

Many people hear the word “abuse” and think of physical violence. Physical abuse is one type of abuse, but it is certainly not the only one.

According to  The Hotline’s 2020 Data, 95% of contacts stated they were experiencing emotional abuse. Emotional abuse may not be what most people think about when they picture abuse, but that does not make it any less real or less serious. Because of its subtleties, emotional abuse can be quite difficult to detect when it is being experienced. Emotional abuse is also a foundation for other forms of abuse. Often, it is used erode a person’s self-esteem and self-worth and create a psychological dependency on the abusive partner. Let’s look at what emotional abuse is and how to know if emotional abuse is present in your relationship.

Emotional abuse includes non-physical behaviors that are meant to control, isolate, or frighten you. This may present in romantic relationships as threats, insults, constant monitoring, excessive jealousy, manipulation, humiliation, intimidation, dismissiveness, among others. Sometimes emotional abuse is more obvious, like a partner yelling at you or calling you names. Other times it can be more subtle, like your partner acting jealous of your friends or not wanting you to hang out with someone of another gender. While these emotionally abusive behaviors do not leave physical marks, they do hurt, disempower, and traumatize the partner who is experiencing the abuse.

Over time, emotional abuse can wear down a person’s self-worth, confidence, and their mental and emotional strength.

It’s difficult to feel sure of yourself when a partner is demeaning, dismissing, and second-guessing you constantly. Additionally, when you care about someone and have invested time in the relationship with them, you want to believe the best of them, and you may convince yourself that you were overreacting in how you interpreted their hurtful actions or words. An emotionally abusive partner may try to gaslight you by telling you outright that you are overreacting, being dramatic, being too emotional, or that you can’t take a joke.

For these reasons and more, it can be tough to detect emotional abuse and see it as a dangerous concern. Even then, survivors of emotional abuse are often hesitant to seek help or tell friends and family about their relationship concerns because they fear they will not be believed or taken seriously. Nonetheless, emotional abuse is serious, and it is not uncommon for emotional abuse to escalate to physical violence. In some relationships this escalation to physical abuse is slow, and in others it can happen rapidly.

So how do you know if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship?

Here are some red flags:
  • Your partner name calls you or demeans you.
  • Your partner tries to control you, your time, and your actions.
  • Your partner tells you what to do and what to wear.
  • Your partner often makes you feel silly or dumb.
  • Your partner questions your reality and says that things that you know happened didn’t happen. This is called gaslighting.
  • Your partner is critical of your appearance.
  • Your partner is jealous of time spent with your friends or family.
  • Your partner punishes you by withholding attention or affection.
  • Your partner doesn’t want you hanging out with someone of another gender.
  • Your partner makes threats to hurt you or others to get what they want.
  • Your partner wants you to ask for permission before doing something or spending time with other people.
  • Your partner monitors where you go and stalks your whereabouts.
  • Your partner doesn’t want you to work.
  • Your partner embarrasses you in public.
  • Your partner does not trust you and acts possessive.
  • Your partner threatens breaking up or divorce to manipulate an argument.
  • Your partner wants access to your phone, your passwords, or your social media.
  • Your partner threatens suicide during arguments.
  • Your partner is constantly accusing you of cheating.
  • Your partner blames you for their unhealthy/abusive behaviors.
  • Your partner makes you feel guilty or immature for not wanting to have sex.
  • Your partner overloads you with compliments and gifts, and then uses that to manipulate you later (love bombing).

If any of these red flags feel familiar to you, know that you do not deserve to be treated that way and that you are not alone. It can be hard to decide what your next step should be, after learning that your relationship is not healthy. You might consider reaching out to a trusted friend or family member to talk about what you have been going through. You can also reach out to our Hotline advocates to talk about next steps and options available to you.

We are here 24/7 via phone, online chat, and text to provide you with education, support, and safety planning. The Hotline is completely free and confidential.

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Emotional and Psychological Abuse | WomensLaw.org

Is emotional abuse the same as psychological abuse?
What is emotional and psychological abuse?
What are the signs of emotional and psychological abuse?
What are some forms of emotional and psychological abuse?
What are the effects of emotional and psychological abuse?

What can I do if I am a victim of emotional and psychological abuse?

Is emotional abuse the same as psychological abuse?
There is no clear agreement among experts in the field whether there is a meaningful difference between emotional and psychological abuse. There is some research that suggests that there are slight differences between the two. Emotional abuse is believed to be broader and so psychological abuse is often considered to be one form of emotional abuse. Also, psychological abuse involves the use of verbal and social tactics to control someone’s way of thinking, such as “gaslighting,” which is not necessarily the same as other forms of emotional abuse.

However, for the purposes of the following questions, WomensLaw will group the terms together since the behaviors described by both concepts are similar enough that there isn’t a real difference when considering legal remedies for victims of these behaviors.

What is emotional and psychological abuse?
Abuse comes in many different forms. Even when there is no physical violence, abusive language can be very damaging to you and your children. Emotional and psychological abuse are include mostly non-physical behaviors that the abuser uses to control, isolate, or frighten you. Often, the abuser uses it to break down your self-esteem and self-worth in order to create a psychological dependency on him/her. Emotional and psychological abuse are hard forms of abuse to recognize because the abuse is spread throughout your everyday interactions. Unlike physical abuse, there are often no isolated incidents or clear physical evidence to reference.1

1 See The National Domestic Violence Hotline, What is Emotional Abuse page

What are the signs of emotional and psychological abuse?
Emotional and psychological abuse may begin suddenly or it may slowly start to enter into your relationship. Some abusers behave like a good partner in the beginning and start the abuse after the relationship is established. When this shift in behavior occurs, it can leave you feeling shocked, confused, and even embarrassed. However, abuse is never your fault even if the abuser tells you it is or if your family members or friends blame you for “allowing” the abuse. It is often difficult to decide whether or not certain behaviors are emotionally or psychologically abusive, especially if you grew up witnessing abuse. However, as with all other types of domestic violence, the behavior is intended to gain and keep power and control over you. Some signs that a partner is being emotionally and psychologically abusive include:

  • humiliating you in front of others;
  • calling you insulting names, such as “stupid,” “disgusting,” or “worthless”;
  • getting angry in a way that is frightening to you;
  • threatening to hurt you, people you care about, or pets;
  • the abuser threatening to harm him/herself when upset with you;
  • saying things like, “If I can’t have you, then no one can;”
  • deciding things for you that you should decide, like what you wear or eat;
  • acting jealous, including constantly accusing you of cheating;
  • continually pretending to not to understand what you are saying, making you feel stupid, or refusing to listen to your thoughts and opinions;
  • questioning your memory of events or denying that an event happened the way you said it did, even when the abuser knows that you are right;
  • changing the subject whenever you try to start conversations with the abuser and others and questioning your thoughts in a way that makes you feel unworthy; and
  • making your needs or feelings seem unimportant or less important than those of the abuser. 1

1 See U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services, Office on Women’s Health, Emotional and Verbal Abuse page

What are some forms of emotional and psychological abuse?
Emotional and psychological abuse can involve behaviors or acts towards you or towards others. Below, we discuss both.

Acts towards others:
Abuse of pets

Pets are commonly viewed as family members and treasured companions. The abuser may use the emotional and psychological connection you have with your pets to gain power and control over you by harming or threatening to harm your pet in any of the following ways:

  • harming your pet to get back at you for actions that you may have taken that show self-determination or independence;
  • harming your pet as “punishment” for something that you or your children did;
  • threatening or harming your pet in an attempt to force (coerce) you into doing something; or
  • forcing you or your children to harm or kill your pet or to watch the abuser do it. 1

Threats to self-harm
When your partner regularly threatens self-harm when you don’t do what the abuser wants you to do or when you decide to leave the relationship, this is a form of emotional and psychological abuse. The abuser is using your love for him/her to manipulate and control you. When your partner makes these threats, steps you can take to protect yourself include:

  • telling your partner you care about him/her, but sticking to your boundaries – in other words, not necessarily doing whatever the abuser tells you is necessary to do to “prevent” self-harm;
  • not taking responsibility for the abuser’s actions if the abuser does decide to self-harm; and
  • remembering that it is not your responsibility to “make” the abuser not self-harm. For example, the abuser may say, “If you really loved me, you’d stop me from killing myself” but this is part of the manipulation that often comes with emotional abuse.2

Acts towards you:
Isolation

In an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship, the abuser will do many things in an attempt to cut all of the emotional ties you have with other people so that the only one left is the one to the abuser. Some signs of this type of isolation include:

  • preventing or discouraging you from seeing family or friends and making you feel guilty when you do;
  • wanting to know what you’re doing all the time and making you be in constant contact;
  • restricting access to transportation so you can’t leave the home;
  • acting jealous of time spent with your family or friends, often to the point where you will “choose” not to see them anymore so you don’t have to put up with the abuser’s jealousy; and
  • wanting you to ask for permission before doing something or spending time with other people.3

Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of emotional and psychological abuse that tends to happen gradually in a relationship. The term “gaslighting” is used to describe a pattern of behavior in which the abuser intentionally denies that acts or events happened in the way that you know that they happened. An abuser will often twist your emotions, words, and experiences and use them against you, which causes you to question your reality, to doubt your own judgment and memory, and to make you feel that you are “going crazy. ” Signs that you are experiencing gaslighting include:

  • feeling confused, “crazy,” and constantly second-guessing yourself;
  • constantly questioning if you are being “too sensitive”;
  • having trouble making simple decisions;
  • constantly apologizing to your partner;
  • frequently making excuses for your partner’s behavior;
  • finding yourself withholding information from loved ones;
  • starting to lie to avoid the put-downs or reality twists;
  • feeling as though you can’t do anything right; and
  • wondering if you are a “good enough” partner.4

Ultimately, these behaviors are meant to control, isolate, or frighten you, and while they do not leave physical scars, they can leave long-lasting trauma.5

1 This information was adapted from Pets and Domestic Violence
2 See The National Domestic Violence Hotline, When Your Partner Threatens Suicide page
3 See The National Domestic Violence Hotline, What is Emotional Abuse page
4 See The National Domestic Violence Hotline, What is Gaslighting page
5 See U. S. Dept. of Health & Human Services, Office on Women’s Health, Emotional and Verbal Abuse page

What are the effects of emotional and psychological abuse?
Emotional and psychological abuse can have severe short- and long-term effects. This type of abuse can affect both your physical and your mental health. You may experience feelings of confusion, anxiety, shame, guilt, frequent crying, over-compliance, powerlessness, and more. You may stay in the relationship and try to bargain with the abuser or try to change the abuser’s behavior, often placing blame on yourself, even though you are not at fault.

If you’re dealing with severe and ongoing emotional abuse, it’s possible to lose your entire sense of self and begin to doubt your self-worth or your abilities, which may make it even harder to leave the relationship. Long-term emotional abuse can also result in several health problems, including depression, anxiety, substance abuse, chronic pain, and more. 1 It’s important to get emotional support to help you deal with the trauma of emotional and psychological abuse – see What can I do if I am a victim of emotional and psychological abuse? for more information.

1 This information was adapted from U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services, Office on Women’s Health, Emotional and Verbal Abuse page and Effects of Violence Against Women page.

What can I do if I am a victim of emotional and psychological abuse?
If you are the victim of emotional and psychological abuse, you may be hesitant to seek help or tell your friends and family because you fear they will not believe you or take you seriously. You may feel shame or confusion as to what is happening. However, seeking help and support is essential to ending an emotionally or psychologically abusive relationship. The effects of these types of abuse are serious and it is common for emotional and psychological abuse to escalate to physical violence. You can go to our National Organizations - Emotional Abuse section for national resources or talk to an advocate or counselor at your local domestic violence organization, listed on our Advocates and Shelters page. Local domestic violence programs often offer free counseling, support groups, and the advocates in these organizations could point you to other local help and support options.

In addition, depending on how domestic violence is defined in your state, the abuser’s behavior can fall under certain crimes or you may qualify for a restraining order. A few states specifically allow someone to get a restraining order based on “coercive control,” which is a form of emotional and psychological abuse. Even in states where emotional abuse is not considered as a reason for a restraining order, it’s possible that certain emotionally abusive acts may, in fact, qualify you for an order. For example, if an abuser threatens you or continually texts or calls you repeatedly without reason to do so, this could be considered enough to grant an order. In our Restraining Orders page, you can chose your state from the drop-down menu and look for the question where we include the legal definition of domestic violence for the purposes of getting a restraining order. Some states also recognize emotionally abusive acts as crimes, such as threats or public disturbances, for example. You can go to our Crimes page to read through the list of common crimes committed by abusers to see if any match up with the abuser’s actions.

Did you find this information helpful?

Four signs that reveal an abusive relationship / psychology

It is not easy to set rigid parameters for defining an abusive relationship. In fact, the same criterion of "abuse" cannot apply to all relationships in which there is an exploiter and an exploited one. In a strict sense, abuse per se is set up if one of the parties cannot respond on equal terms. , against coercion, aggression and intimidation.

There is abuse when someone uses his power or superiority to control the behavior of another, depending on his own needs. There is abuse when a person takes advantage of another's physical or emotional fragility to put them into service . Abuse is also set up if there are some circumstances on which one person is dependent on another, and this dependence is used to coerce or limit their freedom of action.

inexplicable. Let the simple surprise you. This rule seems to be abused. And where there are insults, correct it

-Bertolt Brecht-

Sometimes violence is not so obvious because it is not sustained by blows or shouts . Sometimes a systematic process of disqualification, manipulation, and blackmail is simply set in motion so that one becomes unable to act, respond, or make decisions freely. At the same time, all this is justified by the fact that you receive great love or a desire for the well-being of others.0004 . He leaves them in the heart and in the mind. Get creative resources and turn life into a real ode to fear. Therefore, you should be aware of some of the signs that may alert you that you are in the middle of an abusive relationship.

Fear: a clear sign of an abusive relationship

Fear is perhaps the most obvious sign that we are facing an abusive relationship. Sometimes it is a raw and obvious fear: a person becomes very tense in the presence of another and constantly thinks about the "punishments" or consequences that an act of antagonism against this person can cause.

In other cases, the fear is more subtle. This may manifest as being too shy to please another. It is not intended to give you a reason to change your mood, and for this you are constantly thinking about what needs to be done to make this person happy.

Excessive control over everything you do

In an abusive relationship, one of them must constantly tell the other about everything he does, and even what he thinks or feels. You feel that you cannot move or act freely without first consulting or informing another person.

It is likely that this control extends to your finances, and even to the way you dress or comb your hair. Pretty much everything you do has to get the other person's approval, and if that doesn't happen, you're unlikely to move forward.

You feel guilty

In any abusive relationship there is almost constant guilt . You feel inadequate and unable to defend the validity of what you say or do. The one who is the source of violence constantly criticizes you and for this reason makes you blame yourself.

One or two situations may arise, or both: the other person seems to have the truth and his judgment is sanctioning the good or bad of every action, or you think it is wrong but you dare not confront it. Both scenarios give you guilt. In one case, for not adjusting to what someone expects of you. On the other hand, due to the inability to set a limit.

Threat and coercion present

In an abusive relationship, one ends up forcing the other to do something they don't want. This can be done through direct aggression or through more subtle threats and coercion. However, the bottom line is that you do not want to do something, and you are forced to do it under pressure from others.

The offender knows very clearly where his power comes from. . If it is from economic dependence, your direct or hidden threats will be concentrated there. If you are afraid of a blow, the situation will be similar. If his strength becomes emotionally dependent, he will play with the fear of abandonment. And so on.

You must keep in mind that If we are talking about two adults without physical or mental limitations, in order for violence to take place, two . Both are responsible for abuses, and abuses are mutually common: not infrequently, when one, for example, forces violence, the other responds by blackmailing him with the victim. So this is a situation that needs to be resolved because, sooner rather than later, this is having a very negative impact on those involved.

It hurts... But I love him! Over time, many love relationships become abusive, toxic, hurtful relationships. How does this happen? Read more "

Abuse: recognize and fight back. From psychological violence to psychological independence / Blog / Armine Voronova

March 10, 2021

In my practice, unfortunately, I often encounter cases of psychological (or emotional) violence - abuse. The term abuser is used to describe a person who uses violent or manipulative methods (this can be psychological, physical or economic abuse) to achieve their goals. An abusive relationship is a derogatory relationship between a "tyrant" and a "victim", which is accompanied by constant manipulation with the help of money, blackmail, threats and assault, as well as moral mockery by the aggressor.

During my many years of practice as a psychologist, I often had to work with cases of moral suppression and humiliation in family relationships, in relationships between colleagues and partners. I would like to note that both men and women can be abusers.

There are explicit and implicit forms of manifestation. If the explicit form is easy to recognize, then in cases of the implicit form of manifestations of psychological violence, the victims do not immediately recognize and understand the true attitude of the partner.

For example, a client - a wonderful, smart, educated woman, graduated from the Faculty of Economics of Moscow State University, a woman - tells me a situation that is common for her relationship with her husband: “We like to discuss different topics with him, and if I say that I don’t understand something or I don’t know (suppose, in the device of a car, in mechanics, etc.) he orders his eyes and says that at my age it’s a shame not to understand simple things or not to know, for example, the names of Czech composers or some historical fact ... I understand that it is not necessary to know everything, but he constantly puts me in an awkward position, especially in front of children . .. ”In other words, the husband tries to show his superiority and his right to criticize and devalue. In such "dialogues" there is definitely no constructive discussion, there is only a desire to cause a feeling of shame and guilt with their ridiculous remarks. It is surprising that a woman is ready to justify such behavior of her husband. She explains: “I understand that he does everything for the family and wants me to match him, so he makes comments to me, teaches me ...” To my question, what she feels at the same time, she answers: “Of course, I’m offended ... he could somehow more delicately ... it seems that he deliberately wants to hurt me, undermine my self-esteem. I’m an excellent student and a perfectionist, I’m used to doing everything and knowing everything 100%, and with his remarks he makes me understand that I’m not so smart ... "0005

This is a kind of family game in which the “victim” accepted the role of “sorry, darling, I’m not up to your level, I don’t deserve to be loved” My client was taught from childhood that love can only be earned by good behavior, excellent grades and right thoughts. Such “right” people are godsend for abusers. This example is the most harmless manifestation of psychological violence, to which the partner gets used and perceives, unfortunately, as the norm.

What are the psychological reasons for the behavior of the “victim”, why does she allow such an attitude? Most often the cause is in childhood. For example, parents themselves do not realize how they affect their child when they say a seemingly banal phrase: “You don’t want to ...” And then it follows, depending on the situation, “you don’t want to fall”; “You don’t want to work as a janitor all your life”; "do not want to be alone"; “you don’t want to suffer,” etc. Such parental attitudes are harmful in that they form a ban on their own desires in children. Indeed, with such an attitude, the parent himself decides what needs to be wanted and what the child cannot want; which "wishes" of the child are correct, good, and which are not. All this leads to emotional alienation and deprives the child of a sense of inner support. Emotionally rejected and without a sense of support, such a “comfortable” and obedient child in the future is an excellent target for a psychological manipulator and aggressor.

Let's look at other forms of abuse in a relationship.

You constantly curry favor with your partner
You try not to anger your loved one and carefully choose your words in a conversation with him. “It seems that you have come to terms with a secondary role, diligently controlling yourself, which means that you have learned what to do so that your partner does not insult you openly,” explains psychologist Steven Stonis, author of Love Without Hurt (“Love without harm” ).
Your partner uses gaslighting techniques
The term "gaslighting" appeared in the middle of the 20th century after the English play "Gas lighting" (trans. "Gas light"), the main idea of ​​which was to question the adequacy of the protagonist through psychological manipulation.
“Your partner is trying to influence your perception of reality by denying or distorting what is really happening. He says things like "You're making it up, it didn't happen" or "I never said/did that". Over time, such statements can develop a sense of self-doubt, and you begin to agree with your partner's distortions. Self-doubt leads to self-doubt, which makes you more vulnerable to a manipulative partner,” says psychotherapist Carol A. Lambert, author of Women with Controlling Partners.

In a mild form, almost everyone has encountered a similar situation. You probably had a conflict with your opponent, in which you claimed that he had repeatedly reproached and insulted you, but the person categorically denied this. Or when sorting out relations with your parents, you said that you never felt support and were always criticized, and in response you heard that the problem was far-fetched and there was nothing like that. Perhaps in a relationship you caught a loved one in flirting or even cheating, and in response you received accusations of an inadequate perception of reality.

The partner demands constant reporting “where, when and with whom”

According to Dr. Lisa Ferenc, trying to maintain complete control can be a serious problem in a relationship. Contact several times a day for the purpose of "checking in" can turn into constant harassment. The requirement to constantly report on the whereabouts of a partner and attempts to limit freedom of movement and communication with others is one of the characteristic signs of emotional abuse.

A partner says hurtful words to you, claiming that this is just a "joke"
“When you start complaining, they retort that it’s just a joke, and you are too hypochondriac or you have a sense of humor problems. But the truth is that in every sarcastic remark or hurtful joke there is some truth,” warns psychotherapist Shari Stines .
• You apologize even when you know you didn't do anything wrong. The imposition of guilt is a characteristic manipulation of the abuser.
“Victims of emotional abuse often come to believe that they are stupid or selfish because their partner blames them too often,” explains psychotherapist Beverly Angle, author of Emotionally Abusive Relationships.
• Your partner has frequent mood swings: he/she is either too hot or too cold
“For a while he exudes love, but suddenly becomes cold and unapproachable. You cannot understand the reason, no matter how hard you try. He refuses to communicate, you start to panic, trying to win back his favor, and because of the lack of explanations, you begin to blame yourself. Quite often, this can turn a relatively independent person into a restless sycophant trying to win back a partner’s favor,” says Peg Streep, author of Daughter Detox: Recovering from An Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life. own life").
Partner refuses to recognize your strengths and devalues ​​achievements
“Devaluation and derogatory remarks may not be taken seriously at first, but these are not casual slips of the tongue. Most likely, they are aimed precisely at your strengths, which the partner evaluates as a threat and tries to control them. Your partner's reaction to your achievements can say a lot. Does he show little or no interest in you? In a conversation about your virtues, does he change the subject or criticize you for something you don't do? Over time, your sense of self-confidence and sense of self-competence can seriously decrease,” explains Dr. Lambert.
A partner limits you in emotional intimacy, sex or money for the purpose of "punishing "
Relationships in which "certain conditions" appear are inherently problematic. “Trying to limit emotional attachment or financial support is not always perceived as abuse. Most regard violence as physical harm, but when it comes to limiting or depriving what a person deserves, this is also violence, just emotional,” says Ferenc.
• You have lost sexual attraction to your partner
“This is especially true for women. Usually, women need to trust their partner in order to feel physical and emotional arousal. If a girl feels fearful or angry with her partner, she will not feel safe and her body will react accordingly,” Engle says.
You feel sorry for your partner, despite the fact that he hurts you
“Emotional abusers are masters of manipulation. They hurt you while making you think it's your fault, or at least that they were hurt in childhood or past relationships. You just feel sorry for them. Victims of emotional abuse often ignore the behavior of their abusers because they appear unhappy, rejected, abandoned,” warns Dr. Stines.
The partner suddenly changes plans too often in order to "make a surprise »
Open attempts at control are easy to spot, but there is a more sophisticated method, the so-called "hidden control", which is often resorted to by abusers. “Hidden control” is a sudden change in an already planned one (the two of you go to a nearby bistro instead of an evening with friends) or a sharp revision of joint plans under the guise of a “surprise”. “It's control without overt demands: at first you're flattered by the attentions, but over time it can become the rule and your own wants and needs take a backseat,” explains Peg Streep.
Thus, if you are afraid to object, express your point of view, discuss options, consider a conflict situation from a different position, if you do not know your true desires, because your “desires” are the desires of a partner, then most likely you need something change in relationships.
How to fight back in case of psychological abuse :
1. Adhere to the rules of reasonable selfishness. This means that you have the right to express your feelings, desires, thoughts. You have the right to protect your psychological and physical boundaries and act in your best interests. Taking care of yourself is okay. To the manipulative statement “you are an egoist / egoist”, it is better to proudly answer: “Yes, it is!” It is foolish to deny the fact that every person appreciates, accepts and loves himself. Then you won't have to curry favor with your partner to "deserve" his "love".
“To live the way you want is not selfishness. Selfishness is when others should think and live the way you want” O. Wilde
2. Listen to YOUR feelings. If you are uncomfortable, hurt, offended - this is a signal that it is better to end the relationship or, at least, you need to broadcast your feelings to your partner.
3. Develop self-confidence, know your strengths, rely on yourself, and not on the opinions of others. Sometimes it's good to say "No" if you feel that something doesn't suit you.
4. Consider only constructive criticism. You can respond to destructive criticism in the following way: “If you criticize, offer”
5. Sometimes you can calmly say: “I don’t know” . This does not mean at all that your intellectual capabilities are limited, it just means that at the moment you do not have the necessary information, but you can study it, find out, understand a complex issue, etc.


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