Protection from negative people

How to Protect Yourself from Others Negative Energy

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Medically reviewed by Scientific Advisory Board — By Dr. Sharie Stines, LPCC on March 25, 2020

Since I so frequently write about narcissistic abuse, I know a common problem victims have is knowing how to cope with someones silent treatments, stone walling, brooding, pouting, outrage, judgementalism, negative implications, or other adverse energetic expressions.

Have you ever noticed how some people just enter a room and you can feel their energy? While some people have calming, soothing energy, others cause us to feel anxious and on edge.

This article addresses this problem. In a nutshell, what you will be doing is setting boundaries. The following list suggests some of the boundaries you can set in order to protect yourself and preserve your sanity.

Keep your own power. One of the problems that happens when you are around a person with negative energy is that you can easily give that person permission to steal your joy, or otherwise impact your own state of mind in a negative way. Make the decision to hold on to yourself and your power and refuse to let the negative person own you.
Stay positive. Think positive. Be hopeful. Be grateful. Make a decision to find the good in your life and dont allow another persons miserableness to define you or your day in any way. Imagine yourself as the separate person you are and remind yourself that you are only responsible for your life, not anyone elses.
Ignore the perpetrator. This takes a concerted effort, as do all the suggestions in this article. Before you walk in to the situation with the person with negative energy, make the decision ahead of time that you will simply ignore him/her. Once you have made this decision it becomes easy. When you start falling prey to assuming you can have a conversation with the person remind yourself that you have already decided to ignore them.
Give the silent treatment. This is similar to ignoring, yet a little more active than that. Usually it is considered rude to ignore other people by giving them the silent treatment. However, in light of coping with a difficult person, studies have shown that giving someone the silent treatment can be an easier way to interact with a difficult person than having an actual conversation. “It may be used as a way to offset feelings of fatigue or depletion associated with the expectation of an unpleasant interaction.” (The Body ODD, 2013)”Findings suggest that the silent treatment may be used as a strategy for conserving mental resources that would otherwise be exhausted by interacting with someone who is inherently aversive to be around.” (The Body ODD, 2013).
Move to a different space. Because it is so often easy to absorb another persons energy, I find it helpful to remove myself from the negative persons energy field. If you are having difficulties remaining objective and non-affected by the offending person, simply move away from their atmosphere. Maybe you are an empath and you tend to absorb other peoples emotions rather easily. Its good for you to realize this and protect yourself using any means necessary.
Look away from the person. It is much easier to stay in your own space and protect yourself from negative people by pretending theyre not there. Its easier to do this by not looking at the person. Remind yourself to look away if you catch yourself noticing that person.
Use Imagery. Imagine yourself surrounded by a protective shield. Picture yourself with an aura of positive energy surrounding you and emanating outwards from you. Use your imagination to picture how you want to feel when youre in the presence of a person who tends to drain the positivity right out of you.This process of imagery works because it is a form of practice. As with the concept of practice makes perfect, practicing in your mind how you want to see yourself, changes the way your mind thinks.
Give the negative energy back.If you find yourself absorbing the negativity despite your best efforts use imagery as well to visualize yourself removing the negativity from yourself and placing it back on the other person where it belongs. To do this, stop and think for a minute how you feel and where you feel the negative emotions. Once you establish this imagery, picture yourself letting the negativity flow out of and off of you. See it being released into the atmosphere and flowing back to the source.

The bottom line is, your life is your responsibility. Once you can concretely come to that conclusion you can realize that you have choices and personal power to decide how others will affect you. If you dont like the way you feel around certain people then it is 100 percent up to you to take care of yourself when youre around them. The way they are may trigger you for some reason. Whether they are intentionally antagonizing you or not, it is your responsibility to take care of your own emotional needs.

Reference:

The Body Odd. (FEB 27 2013). How to deal with jerks: Give em the silent treatment. By: NBC News. Retrieved from: https://www.nbcnews.com/healthmain/how-deal-jerks-give-em-silent-treatment-1C8580863

Last medically reviewed on March 25, 2020

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Medically reviewed by Scientific Advisory Board — By Dr. Sharie Stines, LPCC on March 25, 2020

6 Powerful Ways to Protect Yourself From Negative Energy - Lolly Daskal

It’s never easy to be around negativism. But beyond that, it can be quite toxic and detrimental, fostering a mindset of cynicism, fatalism, and even defeatism.

If you are surrounded by negative energy that’s coming from a coworker, partner, friend, or family member, you must how to protect yourself without engaging.

Here are six powerful strategies you can use to protect yourself against

Focus on solutions, not problems. Negative people tend to spend more time on problems than on solutions. What that usually sounds like is a lot of complaining, finding fault, and dissatisfaction. To stay positive, focus on creating solutions that work. If you meet resistance, look at strengths you can build on or simple steps to get the momentum started.

Don’t feed the drama. Negative people need drama in their lives as much as they need oxygen. To take their breath away, stay positive and upbeat and refuse the bait, no matter how tempting. Work to keep things on time, calm, flexible, and even keeled. When you do, you give them nothing to work with.
Watch your boundaries. It’s a sad fact of life that you’re better off with some people out of your life. But you can’t accomplish the things you want to do in life if you are surrounded by negative energy–one of the most toxic and contagious forces on earth. Create and keep your boundaries from anyone who wants to break you down, even if they’re a family member or someone who thinks of themselves as a friend.

Stop trying to fix everyone and everything. If you find yourself doing for others things that they could and should be doing for themselves, you’re not helping but enabling. Sometimes we can unintentionally produce negative energy by carrying people when they know how to walk, or we try to fix people when they weren’t broken to begin with. Learn when to stay clear.

Respond, but don’t react. A response flows from mental clarity and emotional strength and is chosen to produce a desired outcome; while a reaction is an uncontrollable reflex that flows from fear-based survival impulses. Stay clear of unthinking reactions and learn to respond thoughtfully in the face of negative energy.

Take care of yourself. You can’t care for others if you can’t care for yourself. It is not selfish or vain to love yourself, take care of yourself, or to make your happiness a priority. Learning and practicing self-care will help keep you grounded and strong when you’re faced with negative energy.

Don’t underestimate the harm that negative energy can cause–learn how to protect yourself and be smart about it.

N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

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Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world.

Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.

5 life hacks on how to protect yourself from negative people / Useful - Interesting in Ishim

When you are surrounded by negative people, it is difficult to stay positive. These simple tips will help you keep your peace of mind.

Surely there are acquaintances or colleagues in your environment who are constantly dissatisfied with everything. Remembered? They complain about life, work, friends and children. They are not satisfied with health, weather, roads and Olga Buzova.

If you have ever talked with such a person, you must have experienced firsthand how difficult it is to maintain a positive attitude and not become discouraged after a conversation with him. Such people are often encountered and it is not always possible to simply run away from them.

To prevent this dull person from draining your energy, try following these guidelines.

1. Guard your borders

It is terribly hard to deal with people who are stuck in their problems, but cannot or do not want to solve them. They like it when others 24 hours a day give them moral support and share their pessimism. And it is inconvenient for you to interrupt this plaintive flow, because you are afraid to seem rude and callous. However, it is one thing to provide emotional support, and another thing to get stuck up to your neck in the swamp of their negativity.

In order not to fall into this swamp, set clear boundaries and keep a distance between yourself and the source of negativity.

Just think, would you sit next to a person who smokes one cigarette after another all day and enjoy the smoke? Hardly. So step back and get some fresh air. In all senses.

If it is impossible to move away, ask the annoying complainer a direct question: how are you going to solve the problem that you constantly complain about? Such questions will force a negativist to close the topic, at least for a while.

2. Don't let the complainer piss you off

If a negative nerd made you angry or off balance, it means that you were unable to maintain a sober view of the situation.

When you encounter negative behavior that offends you, don't return insult for insult. Maintain dignity and do not stoop to the level of your interlocutor. Try to be on top!

3. Offer to talk about something else

Everyone has painful topics. And even if the topic touched on seems very harmless to you, do not comment on it in a positive way. Because you will be thrown out with more tubs of complaints.

Do not try to change the interlocutor's attitude to a topic that is painful for him. Perhaps his problems with this topic are much deeper than they seem. It is better to offer to change the subject to a lighter and more fun one. Share funny stories, good memories, anything that can distract your interlocutor from obsessive thoughts.

4. Don't try to fix them

You can help some people by showing them an example. And some you can't. Do not let energy vampires and manipulators disturb your inner balance. You cannot control what you cannot control.

If you are unhappy with the behavior of the person you love, and you hope that over time it will change, then it is better to leave these hopes. The likelihood that he will remain the same as he was is too great. If you really want to change something, be honest and put all your cards on the table. Let me know how you feel and why.

However, in most cases you should not even try to change the other person. Accept him for who he is, or leave his life.

It might sound harsh, but it's the best. When you try to change a person, they often resist in response, and you get the opposite effect. But if you stop trying and just support this person, giving him the freedom to determine for himself what he wants to be, gradually he can change himself. And change amazingly. Perhaps your attitude towards this person will change.

5. Take better care of yourself

Do not forget about yourself simply because others do the same. If you are forced to work or live under the same roof as a source of constant negativity, make sure you have enough time to rest and restore internal resources.

It is quite difficult to always maintain the correct unemotional perception of the situation. Negative people can keep you up at night wondering, “What am I doing wrong?”, “Am I really that bad that they talk to me like that?”, “Maybe I offended him in some way?”, "I can't believe she did this to me!" and so on.

You can worry for weeks, months. Even for years. Unfortunately, sometimes this is the goal of a negative person. He seeks to piss you off and bring you down to his level of negative thinking. Therefore, take care of yourself so that in the future you can calmly repel the attacks of such emotional vampires.

And finally…

No matter how hard it is to admit it, sometimes you are the source of negativity. At times, your inner critic brings you much more experience than those around you. Try to agree with yourself and turn off this critic at least until the end of the day. This simple tip will help you feel much better.

Negative thoughts will not help you cope with problems and will not make you a better person. Remember this.

Subject: health

September 17, 2018

7 ways to protect yourself from negativity

October 19, 2016Relationships

It's hard to stay positive when you're surrounded by negative people. These tips will help you maintain your composure and peace of mind.

Do you have friends or colleagues who are constantly dissatisfied with everything? They complain about life, about work, about friends and family members. They are not satisfied with the state of their health, the weather, the roads and Jared Leto's new hair color. You can list indefinitely.

If you have ever talked with such a person, you must have experienced first hand how difficult it is to maintain a positive attitude and not become discouraged after a conversation with him. But such people are not so rare. And it is not always possible to avoid interacting with them.

To keep a negative person from draining your energy, try following these guidelines.

1. Set boundaries and guard them

It is very hard to deal with people who are stuck in their problems and are not able to focus on solving them. They want others around them to give them moral support 24 hours a day and share their pessimism. You do not interrupt their endless complaints because you are afraid to appear rude and callous. However, it is one thing to provide emotional support, and another thing to get stuck up to your neck in the swamp of their negativity.

In order not to fall into this swamp, set clear boundaries and keep a distance between yourself and the source of negativity.

Just think, would you sit next to a person who smokes one cigarette after another all day and enjoy the smoke? Hardly. So step back and get some fresh air. In all senses.

If in the near future you cannot protect yourself from the company of an annoyingly negative interlocutor, try to neutralize him by asking how he is going to solve the problem that he constantly complains about. Often this is enough for the interlocutor to close the topic or turn the conversation into a more constructive direction. At least for a while.

2. Don't let the other person piss you off

Emotional reaction shows that we cannot assess the situation objectively. Emotions can take over you for just a couple of seconds, or they can completely take control of your behavior. If a person who radiates negativity managed to anger or unbalance you, it means that you were unable to maintain a sober view of the situation.

When you encounter negative behavior that offends you, don't return insult for insult. Maintain dignity and do not stoop to the level of your interlocutor. Try to see to the root.

3. Offer to switch to lighter topics

Some people get negative only about their painful topics. To you, these topics may seem rather innocuous. For example, if someone is dissatisfied with his job, he will mention it on any occasion, out of place and out of place, and constantly complain about it. If you try to insert your positive comment, you will be thrown out with an even greater dose of negativity.

Do not try to change the interlocutor's attitude to a topic that is painful for him. Perhaps his problems with this topic are much deeper than they seem. The best way out is to suggest changing the subject to a lighter and more positive one. Share funny stories, good memories, anything that can distract your interlocutor from obsessive thoughts.

4. Focus not on the problem, but on its solution

What you focus on affects your emotional state. If you focus on the problems you are facing, you only increase the negative impact of stressors. If you are looking for a way to improve the current situation, then you feel satisfied, which causes positive emotions and helps to overcome anxiety.

The same principle should be used when dealing with negative people. Just stop thinking about how annoying the other person is. Instead, ask yourself how you can influence this person's behavior so that it doesn't make you uncomfortable. This way you will stop worrying and be able to take control of the situation.

5. Distract from the opinions of others

Successful people tend to think internally. This means that according to the ideas of such people, their well-being depends only on themselves. Psychologists call this personality trait an internal locus of control. Negative people usually shift the responsibility for their lives to others and blame others for everything that happens to them or does not happen to them. They provide an example of an external locus of control.

If your self-esteem and satisfaction depend on the opinions of other people, you cannot be happy without someone else's approval. When emotionally strong people are confident that they are doing something right, they don't let superficial judgments and snarky comments from others lead them astray.

You are not as good as you are praised when you win. But not as bad as you are condemned when you lose. What matters is what you learn and how you use what you learn.

6. Don't try to fix other people

You can help some people by showing them an example. And for some you can't. Do not let energy vampires and manipulators disturb your inner balance. You cannot control what you cannot control.

If you are unhappy with the behavior of the person you love, and you hope that over time it will change, then it is better to leave these hopes. The likelihood that he will remain the same as he was is too great. If you really want to change something, be honest with your loved one and lay all your cards on the table. Let your significant other know how you feel and why you feel the way you do.

However, in most cases you should not even try to change the other person. Accept him for who he is, or leave his life.

It might sound harsh, but it's the best. When you try to change a person, in response, he often begins to resist and you get the opposite effect. But if you leave these attempts and just support this person, giving him the freedom to independently determine what he wants to be, gradually he can change himself. And change amazingly. Perhaps your attitude towards this person will change.

7. Take care of yourself

Do not forget about yourself just because others do the same. If you are forced to work or live under the same roof with a source of constant negativity, make sure you have enough time to rest and restore internal resources.

And finally…

No matter how hard it is to admit it, but sometimes the source of negativity is yourself. At times, your inner critic brings you much more experience than those around you.