Problems of single women
10 Important Issues Single Women Face (And How to Combat Them)
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Life is full of obstacles, even in today’s modern age. Progress is being made, but not everyone feels the effects, which can make personal obstacles seem even larger. We’ve compiled ten important issues that women face in today’s world, plus some advice on how to fight them.
1. Relatives and Relationships
This is one issue that I deal with just about every time a family reunion comes around. Even when I was in school, being focused on my getting my degree wasn’t good enough for those certain relatives that made me feel like I needed to go into Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner with my own bottle of wine.
The concept that I could be happy with focusing on school and having a non-existent social life was beyond their comprehension.
But, as pestering and annoying as my relatives are, I know in both my heart and mind that what I’m doing (or not doing) and where I am in life is exactly where I’m meant to be. Things happen where and when they’re meant to happen, and not a moment sooner. It took me a long time to get my head around this kind of thinking, but it’s helped me get through those awkward reunions.
2. Reproductive Health and Rights
Women all over the world are affected by this one, regardless of nationality or class, because it can come in so many different forms. Two hundred and twenty-five million women don’t have access to family planning methods, resulting in millions of unplanned pregnancies, which contribute to the number of unsafe abortions that women resort to. Getting involved, bringing awareness, and donating to organizations that address this issue is a good start to pushing for fair treatment for women.
3. Gender Wage Gap
This one just made the headlines within the last week. News broke that the salaries between male and female stars at the BBC were significantly different, even amongst co-hosts of the same show. The BBC has said that they hope to close that gap before 2020.
Critics would say that women make less because of things like time taken off for maternity leave or the decision to work part-time rather than full-time in order to spend more time at home with children, but all of that aside, the rate of pay should be the same between both genders in the same position. Our best advice is to determine what your skills are worth. Sites like GlassDoor have a calculator called Know Your Worth that can help you determine just this.
4. Role Models
If you look around, the role models available for young women and teenage girls are seemingly few and far between. Granted, this article is thankfully being published in a post-Wonder Woman world. However, teenage girls are still being flooded with advertising and imagery of what the “ideal” female should look like, while also telling young women to “be themselves”.
As if hormones weren’t making life confusing enough, society targets teenagers and young women with a double-edged sword. But, thankfully, there are superheroes on their way. Forbes reported that Wonder Woman is officially the highest grossing movie of the summer. The CW’s Supergirl is headed for it’s third season this coming October. I just binged this one on Netflix and was seriously impressed. If we keep supporting media like Supergirl and Wonder Woman, we let the studios in Hollywood know that there is a demand for this kind of media. They say you vote with your dollars, so vote away.
5. Sexual Harassment
This, as we probably all know, doesn’t just happen in the workplace. My friend and I were walking to a grocery store together and we got cat-called by a guy driving by in a truck. Neither one of us was wearing anything that could be categorized as “asking for it”. In another incident years ago, I was cat-called while walking to a concert with my mom and my best friend’s mom.
I was wearing jeans, heels, and a nice top. My point is, sexual harassment has very little to do with the clothes that we wear. We’re expected to cover up, but not the point of being a prude. Yet if we wear something flattering and complain about the attention that we find unwanted, we’re blamed for it because society tells us that we should have known better than to wear whatever outfit it is that we chose.
6. Violence
This is one of the biggest issues that women face and the statistics show it. It doesn’t matter what part of the world women are in, they are more likely to be the victims of domestic abuse at the hands of a family member or partner, as reported by the Huffington Post. Twenty percent of women are raped at least once in their lives and one-third of women in the US are victims of domestic abuse. What needs to be done about this is to have awareness and attention to this issue go beyond Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which happens to be October.
Twenty percent of women are raped at least once in their lives and one-third of women in the US are victims of domestic abuse.
What needs to be done about this is to have awareness and attention to this issue go beyond Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which happens to be October.
7. Health Insurance
Needless to say, I’ve learned a lot about how health insurance works in the past six months. It’s a topic that I keep a very close eye on. I know a lot of people who rely on the Affordable Care Act for their health insurance who are worried that they may not be covered due to the fact that they have one or several pre-existing conditions, some that have even been affecting them since birth.
The best thing you can do is to let your representatives in Congress know what your concerns are. If there are enough voices, change is possible.
8. Political Representation
We may have Wonder Woman and Supergirl gracing their respectful screens, but the numbers of females in politics isn’t quite there yet. Only 38 percent of the US Congress is female. Running for office is tough with no guarantees, but volunteering is something that we can do.
If we support candidates that are female or even candidates that address the issues that are relevant to females, maybe we’ll meet and inspire a little girl who will go on to change the world.
9. Employment
Finding a work-life balance can be difficult even in the best of situations. It’s even harder for women who want to have a career and a family. The US is one of the most developed countries in the world that doesn’t require companies to offer paid family leave.
It’s also difficult for women to secure a higher paying job, due to biases in industries and office environments. Earlier this month, we published an article recommending books that every career-driven millennial, and career-driven woman, should read.
10. Promotions
Along with everything facing women that we covered in the section above, there’s also the issue of promotions in the workplace. There are any number of reasons why a woman’s path to the top won’t be the same as a male co-worker who starts in the same position as her.
Obstacles can start a woman as low as simply getting her foot in the door and getting a job over a male applicant. If she does get the job, she likely to earn less, be evaluated for promotion on performance rather than potential, not being recognized for her accomplishments, and a host of other reasons are all career obstacles that a woman has to overcome, as reported by the Chicago Tribune.
Resources
9 key issues affecting girls and women around the world
Director general says he hopes BBC can close gender pay gap before 2020
GlassDoor
Forbes
The Biggest Issue Women Face Today, According To Gloria Steinem
Top 18 Issues Challenging Women Today
11 Books All Career-Driven Millennial Women Should Read
8 big problems for women in the workplace
11 Struggles Only Single Women Know
Photo: Miramax
It’s been a while since I’ve been in one of those relationship things. You know, that thing where you have a guy who adores you, who you hang out with all the time, and with whom you have consistent (good) sex? I wouldn’t say it’s changed me for the worse (in fact, I’ve learned a lot about myself, what I want and what I definitely don’t), but being a single gal in NYC for the past three years has made me develop a few slightly irrational fears.
Or okay, a lot of them.
But I know I’m not the only one who has nightmares about being attacked in my sleep by the nonexistent cat I don’t own or that my boobs will sag to my knees before I ever have a chance for someone to truly appreciate them. Right?
Welp, if you’re anything like me, you might be able to relate to these single lady struggles that make those stupid little irrational fears rear their ugly heads. But don’t freak out—we’re in this together, and we’re definitely strong enough to handle it:
1. When Your Friend Asks You to Be a Bridesmaid
The invite arrives and you quickly realize you have all of two months to figure out if you’re going to bring a guest. Can you bring someone who you barely know? Will your friends hate you for the rando in the keepsake photos? Or should you wait until the last possible second to see if you’re dating someone semi-serious by then? Can he come at the last minute if he doesn’t eat?!
2. Randomly Fearing That Your DIY Décor Will Somehow Kill You
I have this gorgeous photo collage on my wall in my bedroom (thanks, Pinterest!) that I hung up using those nifty 3M hooks.
I think it looks great, but sturdy? Eh. A few of them have fallen while I’ve been at work. And I’d be lying if I didn’t wonder if they will actually be my complete demise. I can see the New York Post headline now: 26-Year-Old Single Girl Crushed By Picture Frames Because She Didn’t Have a Boyfriend to Hang Them with Proper Tools!
3. Not Having a Consistently Good Sex Partner
I’m not going to lie, it’s been quite some time since I’ve done the deed. I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily waiting for a boyfriend, but I am waiting until I think the sex would actually be good. As much as I wish the handsome stranger at the bar a block from my apartment would be a rockstar in bed, the truth is, he probably can’t get it up. (And I probably wouldn’t be able to relax enough to orgasm with him anyway.)
4. Always Having Leftovers
Cooking for one isn’t really a thing—or, at least, it’s hard to if you’re a girl from the South where every portion was enough for two small children and your cousin.
No matter how little I try to make, I always have to put some of it in the fridge. And then, of course, I forget about it and throw it out a week later.
5. Getting Super Bored When You’re Snuggled Up On a Rainy Saturday
FOMO? How about Fear of Doing Absolutely Nothing? I try to keep myself as busy as I can between running, fitness classes, events with friends, freelancing, and working so I don’t have a spare minute to sit in my living room, eating popcorn, drinking wine and crying over Sleepless in Seattle. Not that I’ve done that before or anything. Nope.
6. Hearing Humblebrags from Your Coupled-Up Friends
I know the grass is always greener, but sometimes it’s hard to hear your friend complain about her seemingly perfect boyfriend or husband or whatnot. I’m really sorry to hear that you’re sore from a weekend of non-stop sex and that your beautiful roses he bought you are dying. So sorry to hear, really.
7. Constantly Worrying About Becoming the Bitter Single
You do not want to be that person—that person is sad and annoying.
Alright, I retract everything I said in the previous paragraph. I’m happy for them. Truly. Really. Promise.
8. So. Many. First. Dates.
Yes, to meet someone, you must continue to put yourself out there—it’s part of the deal. But after you’ve gone on so many dates they all blend together into one frustrated mess of lipstick, angry text messages, and hangovers, going on yet another date is enough to give you the heebie jeebies.
9. Going Over Your Data Every Month (Thanks Tinder)
Between my Starbucks app, Spotify, and all of my dating apps, it’s hard to make it through a few hours without my iPhone biting the dust. But, come on, what better way to multitask while waiting in line or zoning out in a meeting than to see if my next boyfriend is online? It can be productive…and expensive.
10. Making Up Imaginary Futures With Random People On the Street
Once upon a time there was this really handsome, blue-eyed guy who was passing at the light at the same time as me.
We locked eyes. We walked the same direction. We looked at each other again. He smiled. I started imagining what his first words to me would be, where we’d get married, where we would honeymoon, how he’d be in bed. And then he walked away. Just like that.
11. Wondering if You’ll EVER Find The One
The doozy, right? It seems like if you’re past a certain age or if the majority of your close friends are in relationships and you still haven’t met someone you want to see past date two (or get naked with) in months, you wonder if you’ll be alone forever.
Okay, being a single girl anywhere—not just in New York— is really tough at times. It takes a lot more strength than you think to keep dating and keep hoping you’ll meet someone special. But then again, there are some things that I really love about being on my own at 26-years-old: the freedom to do what I want in my free time (like drink wine and eat popcorn while watching Gilmore Girls for four hours), the ability to use my savings to take a really awesome trip overseas without considering someone else, the opportunity to have those butterflies that are totally real and definitely worth waiting for.
Don’t worry—there will be a day for me (and for you!) where we’ll look back on these single days and wonder why we worried so much about flying solo—but I also hope we’ll look back and smile at those experiences, those years of being single, that we honestly are pretty luck to have.
This article originally appeared on Women’s Health.
MORE From Women’s Health:
Date Night: When You’re Single vs. When You’re Married
15 Horrible Date Stories That Will Make You Cringe
The Fun Trick Every Single Woman Should Try
Women's loneliness - Psychologos Kozlov, Doctor of Psychology, Professor
Rector of the University of Practical Psychology
Women, more than men, want to be in a relationship, and women often experience the absence of a close man as their loneliness and inferiority. Female loneliness is more of a feeling than a reality, since in reality the lifestyle of “single women” in fact may not be much different from the lifestyle of women who have a family.
This desire to complain, which children also have: “Mom, everyone has a Barbie, but I don't! Nothing to play at all!” - despite the fact that she has half a room of toys.
This is rather a game of melancholy, because the sadness of female loneliness is played more often by those women who sit and wait for the prince, instead of looking for contacts and being open to contacts. Complaining and feeling sorry for yourself is easier and more habitual than launching an active search for a partner. Telling that “there are no decent men” is easier than keeping a figure, always being attractive and, most importantly, always keep a smile on your face and positive in your soul.
If you are single, decide what you choose: complain or change your life? Fence off from men - thoughts, words, face and behavior - or look for new acquaintances? Stay at home or go to trainings where you will be taught to be attractive to men and able to build close relationships?
Women can confuse themselves very easily, and if she has as much order in her head as in her purse, she will soon stop noticing how she unconsciously resists any changes in her life.
Really, why change anything? I feel so comfortable at home, without any strangers, to talk sincerely - it’s just as easier with a friend than with men, I have financial independence, and complaining about life is my favorite topic in communicating with my mother.
While you sit at home and feel sorry for yourself, you reinforce your habit of living alone. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop complaining about your loneliness and start doing something!
Your approximate plan for three years:
The first year is to put yourself in order. Figure, wardrobe, straighten your head, start developing new habits, learn attractiveness. That's it, I won't be a klush, I live actively and smile. I am resuming social activity, but I am not actively looking for men yet. I choose a strategy: am I a bitch or an elite woman?
The second year - I go hunting. I find myself in places where there are decent men↑, I make and promote contacts. By the end of the year, I decide who is promising↑.
The third year - I build relationships. “To get married - do not attack, no matter how married you are not to be lost!” - it’s not a problem to move in together, the task is to establish relations so that they suit both of us and for a long time.
A fairy tale about female loneliness
“... In a certain kingdom, in a certain state, there lived two girls: Elena the Beautiful and Elena the Wise ...” Good tale, read it!
- Female loneliness
- Author N.I. kozlov In general, it is difficult to make new acquaintances at an age, and the P2 and P3 of the three-year plan are poorly feasible.
Guest, August 29, 2014, 01:34
Reading and seeing, are you, my colleague, a psychologist, such a sensitive person and an unconditional professional? There is a lot of pain in the loneliness of a woman, and it hurts a proud person, and a stupid one, and a smart one, and even more so, it hurts a lot. And the reasons are different, deep-reaching. On your advice, the maidens will cover themselves with smiles, blessed to hunt and forward the goats to graze, they say, "I'm a simple Alyonushka.
" And for herself, for example, there are single women along the female line, and the external picture will work. Yes, the pain will not go away, but will be a couple with their own unsuitability, false to the heart to dance. Good advice, but life does not line up according to them, it is different for everyone. 1
answer
N.I. Kozlov, January 24, 2016 12:33
Don't be angry, but I think otherwise. There are methods that work, and there are ones that don't. So, my methods work, and there is a very successful experience behind them. And now what to do with it?
Valeria A., October 28, 2014, 5:43 pm
That's it, I agree with the previous comment. It seems too superficial, life is more complicated.
Anna, January 24, 2016 10:56 AM
The very first paragraph of the article is puzzling... is it really written by someone enlightened, capable of distinguishing feelings from reality?
Guest, July 09, 2017, 11:27 PM
Thank you for this article! I really hope it helps.
Guest, August 11, 2020, 2:09 PM
I disagree that everything is so simple. Stretch a smile when a woman is crushed by responsibility, for example, for the children she raises herself, or when a person does not see prospects for himself, does not believe in himself and the future. And it’s also funny when you are attractive, sociable, sexy and find that you have a huge hole inside that your parents didn’t fill with love, because they didn’t know, didn’t know how, didn’t want ... And all these tips for such a woman are to join into dependent relationships, and she will gladly go into them, because the black hole needs to be filled and sucks in everything that approaches at arm's length.
1
reply
Guest, February 27, 2021 at 10:00 pm
Very accurate!
Guest, June 24, 2022, 07:43
What if you have already redone everything, both yourself and everything around that was in the sphere of influence.
Only the years go by and nothing changes, there are a million acquaintances, but there is no suitable one. Not everyone is destined to meet love, even if you break a granite wall with your head. Related content:
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Loneliness, as a feeling of loneliness, can be experienced by a person in many different ways. It can be a grateful feeling of solitude, or it can be a dreary feeling of loneliness. People prone to negativism are more likely to experience loneliness as a misfortune↑. Since the mass personality as a whole is characterized by negativism, the feeling of loneliness is traditionally understood as a negative state. When promoted, the feeling of loneliness easily turns into a fear of loneliness. What to do with the feeling of loneliness?
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People appreciate interesting conversationalists. An interesting young man is more likely to be in the spotlight and take a leadership position in the group, and in communicating with girls - to win their sympathy. Similarly, if a girl is not only attractive in appearance, but also interesting as a person, she will have better friends, it is easier for her to get married and remain a dear companion for her husband for a long time.
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A fairy tale about female loneliness
I want to tell you a fairy tale.
In a fairy tale, as expected, there should be a heroine who, thanks to her positive qualities and talents, in the finale receives the coveted prize in the form of the love of a good young man and, of course, a happy marriage with him. How else? For centuries, the people sacredly believed that if a woman is beautiful, smart and kind, then a happy family life is sure to be provided for her! ;; 3More details
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Why many women are lonely: causes of female loneliness
One of the global problems of mankind at all times could be considered female loneliness. Why are women single, is there really not enough men for everyone?
Not really. From a young age, the representatives of the weaker sex are taught that the “right woman” should serve a man. She must be sexy, successful and at the same time economic, affectionate and kind, strong and at the same time weak, wise, calm and certainly passionate. But even if a lady really combines all these virtues, it is possible that she cannot avoid female loneliness either. What are the reasons for this lifestyle?
The question of why many women are single is really relevant. One of the reasons for its popularity is in our society. TV and the Internet scream that a lady who does not have a man is necessarily embittered, inferior and simply stupid.
She is driven to despair and can find happiness only by meeting her soul mate. Strange, but such stereotypes are built and maintained not only by men (for their own convenience). But also many representatives of the weaker sex, bringing themselves to a nervous breakdown and trying to match the ideal image invented by society. Following society, a lady who is not married and has no relationship considers herself unhappy, unsuccessful and inferior. She is increasingly thinking about what is the cause of female loneliness, and is tormented, unable to find the right answer.
The sad fact is that many women seek relationships and marriage not for the sake of love, children and the family itself. And in order not to feel inferior, which they risk becoming in the eyes of society.
They agree to meet with unwanted and unsuitable men. In the end, they are alone again. This is a common cause of female loneliness - an inexplicable and incorrect desire to be "at least with someone.
" Instead of aiming only for normal and healthy relationships. Read on topic 6 signs of an unhealthy relationship
The other “side of the coin”: female loneliness and self-sufficiency
Speaking about why many women are lonely, one cannot but mention the opposite opinion of some ladies. Today you can see more and more active and strong girls in whom the absurd standards of society indicated above are vehemently protesting. Such women are against being interested in them as people with certain qualities and “options” (they asked questions about their work, leisure, earnings, etc.). They are sure that they should be seen as an exclusively asexual person. It is not difficult to understand why women are single in this case.
How do such protesting ladies “appear”? It's simple. Ladies who have not met "their soul mate" live in the same society as everyone else. However, they have a much harder time than those who are already married or have at least some kind of relationship.
Every day they prove that they are just as self-realized as other people. Hence the rejection of values imposed by society, denial and protest. In order to unconsciously justify herself to herself, a girl can say:
- “it is not necessary to have a child now, it is better to pursue a career”;
- "there are no normal men left";
- "when there is no soul mate, there are no problems either";
- "a woman in a relationship is only a servant and a mass entertainer rolled into one."
Saying all this, the representative of the weaker sex arbitrarily refuses the need to be loved. But only because he does not want to conform to the image that society imposes. The reason for such female loneliness is fears and stereotypes.
REMEMBER! All women, whether single or married, are complete and normal in their own right. No need to run after every man just to no longer think about why women are single and how to get married quickly.
To enjoy life, accept yourself. Stop wasting precious days and months on meetings and communication for the sake of a possible marriage.
Unfortunately, the Internet and television talk all the time about how “real and correct” women should be. Such "harmless stories" hide toxic stereotypes. And it is unlikely that in the near future the situation will change for the better for the weaker sex. Try, at a minimum, to stop letting everything you hear through you, forming the “right” images that prevent you from living a happy life.
If a woman doesn't have a soul mate… what to do?
Now you know why many women are single. They rush from one extreme to another:
- They do everything to start a relationship and get married. As a result, they spend their time and energy trying to get a man they don’t need and at least somehow correspond to the “ideal”;
- Completely refuse normal communication with members of the opposite sex. Because they are tired of the fact that society pushes them towards marriage and relationships, exposes them as inferior and weak personalities.
If you really want to live a happy life, change and give up any of the above mistakes. Stop raping yourself and focus on what society thinks and tries to impose. If you don’t want to have children and live in the same house with a man now, you don’t need to jump out of marriage in defiance of yourself in order to receive the mythical approval of society. Give yourself time to rest, relax and devote free hours and days to yourself.
Do you dream of a close relationship, but there are some obstacles? Start breaking them.
There is no need to waste your life on empty arguments about what an ideal woman should be like. Are you overweight because of which you complete? Get rid of it, but do not go to extremes, exhausting yourself with diets and dreaming of a model figure. "Make" your body attractive and comfortable for yourself, not comparing with pictures.
You are what you are - a beautiful and complete person who deserves to be happy. Your happiness lies not in what society wants.
