Power shahida arabi
POWER by Shahida Arabi | Firestorm Books
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Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse: A Collection of Essays on Malignant Narcissism and Recovery from Emotional Abuse
Categories
- Mind & Body
- Family & Relationships
By Shahida Arabi
Pathological mind games. Covert and overt put-downs. Triangulation. Gaslighting. Projection. These are the manipulative tactics survivors of malignant narcissists are unfortunately all too familiar with. As victims of silent crimes where the perpetrators are rarely held accountable, survivors of narcissistic abuse have lived in a war zone of epic proportions, enduring an abuse cycle of love-bombing and devaluation—psychological violence on steroids. From how to heal our addiction to the narcissist to how to recognize a covert narcissist, Shahida Arabi's articles on narcissistic abuse have gained renown as some of the most accurate and in-depth depictions of this terrifying trauma, resonating with millions of survivors all over the world and receiving endorsements from numerous mental health professionals.
In this essay compilation, readers can enjoy some of her most popular articles as well as new thought pieces on narcissistic abuse: what therapists have to say about malignant narcissists and how children of narcissistic parents can become trapped in the trauma repetition cycle. Survivors are offered new insights on what it means to be both a survivor and a thriver of covert manipulation and trauma. POWER teaches us that it is important to not only understand the tactics of toxic personalities but also to recognize and combat the effects of narcissistic abuse; it guides the survivor to learning, growing, healing and most importantly of all—owning their agency to rebuild their lives and transform their powerlessness into victory.
Product Details
- Paperback
- 354 pages
- ISBN
- 9781945796326
- Publisher
- Thought Catalog Books (1/11/17)
- Dimensions
- 5.
5 x 0.9 x 8.5 inches
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Power : surviving and thriving after narcissistic abuse : a collection of essays on malignant narcissism and recovery from emotional abuse
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Record details
- ISBN: 9781945796326
- ISBN: 1945796324
- Physical Description: 329 pages ; 22 cm
- Edition: First edition.
- Publisher: Brooklyn, NY : Thought Catalog Books, 2017.
- Copyright: ©2017
Content descriptions
| Summary, etc.: | Pathological mind games. Covert and overt ... put-downs. Triangulation. Gaslighting. Projection. These are the manipulative tactics survivors of malignant narcissists are unfortunately all too familiar with. As victims of silent crimes where the perpetrators are rarely held accountable, survivors of narcissistic abuse have lived in a war zone of epic proportions, enduring an abuse cycle of love-bombing and devaluation—psychological violence on steroids. From how to heal our addiction to the narcissist to how to recognize a covert narcissist, Shahida Arabi's articles on narcissistic abuse have gained renown as some of the most accurate and in-depth depictions of this terrifying trauma, resonating with millions of survivors all over the world and receiving endorsements from numerous mental health professionals. |
In this essay compilation, readers can enjoy some of her most popular articles as well as new thought pieces on narcissistic abuse: what therapists have to say about malignant narcissists and how children of narcissistic parents can become trapped in the trauma repetition cycle. Survivors are offered new insights on what it means to be both a survivor and a thriver of covert manipulation and trauma. POWER teaches us that it is important to not only understand the tactics of toxic personalities but also to recognize and combat the effects of narcissistic abuse; it guides the survivor to learning, growing, healing and most importantly of all—owning their agency to rebuild their lives and transform their powerlessness into victory. Read More| Subject: | Narcissism. Narcissistic injuries. Narcissists > Family relationships. |
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Run away from him.
Why We Like Bad Boys and How to Break a Toxic Bond (Shahida Arabi) 1 031 ₽
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Periods of love and intimacy give way to cruelty and devaluation, emotional swings that shake you until you feel nauseated - this is the reality of those who are stuck in toxic relationships.
Usually everything starts quite harmlessly, imperceptibly turning into a nightmare in reality. Therefore, no one can say with certainty: "This does not concern me and will not affect me."
This book, written by Shahida Arabi, an authoritative expert and best-selling author in the field of psychological abuse, will help you avoid the trap of toxic relationships or break the connection and heal if you have already been a victim of abuse.
• How to tell a normal relationship from an abusive one by the first warning signs
• What tricks and techniques do manipulators use
• How addiction to a narcissist is formed
• Why children of toxic parents choose toxic partners
• How to get rid of painful attachment and heal invisible wounds
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Run away from him. Why We Like Bad Boys and How to Break a Toxic Bond Read Online Shahida Arabi
Dedicated to all those who managed to survive the violence: fighters and happy people.
You deserve happiness and all the best.
* * *
Cruel people think they are strong. But this so-called strength is only a manifestation of their inferiority and contempt for those with whom they are not able to cope. They are driven only by hatred, although there is no sense in it. That is why they are so desperate to feed on the energy they lack. Do you want to know what real power is?
Here is a warrior who went through a fiery hell and survived again and again in order to tell the whole truth about it. Those who are able to be reborn, in whom their own fire burns - these are who can be called truly strong people.
Shahida Arabi
Foreword
Readers are treated to a stunning collection of articles by Shahida Arabi on survivors and coping with narcissistic abuse. I often recommend Shahida's works to my clients, because they help to understand how the victims of such relationships come back to life. The author delicately explains what happened to a person who got into such a situation and tried to survive. Revealing the secrets of abuser manipulation [This concept refers to people who use various types of violence on their victims: emotional, physical, verbal, etc. Thus, narcissists who use abusive ways of interacting can be abusers. But not every narcissist is an abuser, and not every abuser is a narcissist. — Note. ed.], Shahida helps the victim understand how to recover and live on, based on theory and practical advice.
I specialize in psychotherapy for victims of narcissistic abuse, and many of my clients are recovering from such experiences at work, family or personal relationships.
Unfortunately, this form of abuse is much more common than one might think. It is good that at this stage of information technology development, people have more and more information on this topic.
Recovering from the experience of violence helps, among other things, understanding how exactly traumatic bonds are formed between the abuser and his victim, how such tactics of the tormentor work, such as projection, gaslighting, the desire to return the partner to the vicious circle of cruel and toxic communication [In popular psychology this behavior is referred to as "hoovering", or "the principle of a vacuum cleaner", when a person, like a vacuum cleaner, tries to drag you into a relationship that is beneficial to him. — Note. per.]. Shahida talks in her articles about how perfect anchoring works, which helps to understand how the fog of emotional abuse artificially thickens, and also talks about resources that will help work through the injuries inflicted on a person.
Shahida is one of those few people who are able to tell in detail and convincingly about what is happening both from the perspective of a survivor of violence and from the perspective of a researcher: she not only gives examples of evidence-based research, but also talks about cases from personal experience, gives wise advice to readers so they can take the next step towards recovery.
In her articles, the author managed to successfully combine information from psychological scientific works, data from neuropsychology and a sincere story about her own healing experience, which is so useful for victims. Shahida's works are unique and will surely help victims of violence to return to a healthy emotional state and find all the information they need in the process of recovering from what happened to them. These books have been of great help to many of my clients.
Congratulations, Shahida! You have contributed greatly to the recovery of so many people. It's priceless!
Andrea Schneider,
certified sociologist, author of Soul Vampires: Reclaiming Your Lifeblood After Narcissistic Abuse (2015), narcissistic abuse recovery psychotherapist, www.andreaschneiderlcsw.com
Chapter 1
The love story of a narcissist and his (her) victim
Once upon a time [The use of the masculine in this case does not mean that all narcissists are necessarily male.
They can be of any gender. — Note. auth.] tenderness enveloped you, and his fingers gently stroked your tattoo while he kissed your ear. Most love stories start with a kiss, but this one starts with a carefully crafted fake mask and an attempt to plot a "murder". On a first date, talking to him will be like sex, it will become both a weapon and a medicine - a healing balm for your wounds and a deadly game of Russian roulette.
He spins a web of words for you, luring you into his heart friend. You quickly approach each other at all levels of communication, he pretends to be a victim, smoothly talking about how he was betrayed in the past by a loved one (over time, you will realize that the previous partner also suffered from abuse). Feigned innocence and at first glance integrity make an indelible impression. He is accustomed to admiration in his address, he has many admirers who hide in his shadow - you will get to know them later. First you need to play the first act of this performance.
He pretends he has never felt anything like this before, and his regrets provoke your first wave of sympathy. How pleasant it is to sympathize with him, what a value and a rarity!
But the real joy is when he pretends that you have become the center of his world, despite the fact that in this center he himself is a "predator" waiting for the victim. Animals on the hunt do not take their eyes off their future prey - so does the narcissist when he is preparing to cling to the one he needs. You are intoxicated by this masquerade, you are bewildered by its charm, which then turns into contempt.
First dates, fifth, tenth… Month after month they replace each other, and you bask in his arms, laugh at jokes that only the two of you understand, exchange words you invented. He seems to encourage you to do this, and at times even demands it. Isolation from others and constant communication with each other become the norm, you are told that you also want this: after all, your common world is protected from everything and everyone, love and tenderness reign here, which at times are even too much.
And no one needs to interfere with it. You have lived for years as in a war, and now you are enjoying the long-awaited peace, although at times it seems to you that all this is somehow pressing.
That's right, until the first blow hits like a shot in a dream. You try to wake up and deal with this nightmare, but you feel like you are sinking deeper into it. It's like a dream during another dream. The mask of a loved one slips off and hell invades your reality. This is the first "bell" about something that is not quite right. You try to rationally explain this and minimize the damage, hoping that you were accidentally told something unpleasant or that it was just a misunderstanding. The person got mad at you for having a bad day. And then he begins to weave a complex web of lies, half-truths, remembering the worst thing that happened to you in the past, and the most unpleasant situations from your present. New people appear and new ways to torment you: this person brings them into the holy of holies - the world of your relationships.
He ignores you and pays a lot of attention to them, humiliates you and praises them. The narcissist enjoys watching you curl up into a ball and loves to play and win.
He creates a new reality for you, in which you doubt yourself and do not listen to your inner voice. This person turns everything inside out so that your strengths turn into weaknesses, talents into childishness, compassion into naivety. You will be the one to blame for everything. It will change your self-image, distort your memories, and destroy your self-respect. Suddenly, his weaknesses become yours: he will take a place in your head and from there will endlessly influence your thoughts, coming up with new obligations for you. He cunningly lures you to his playground, where only his rules apply. And there everything is in the fog - the real "Kingdom of Crooked Mirrors".
For a romantic narcissist, this is an all-consuming addiction, and he will not accept anything less. If you depend on his constant acts of kindness every day, it will cloud your mind, and you will not realize how cruel his heartless remarks are and how, day by day, his actions gradually wean you from enjoying life.
