Overly emotional woman
7 things every man must know about dating an extremely emotional woman
Handle her with care and affection.
Women are said to be very emotional. Crying at the drop of a hat, sulking over petty issues, overthinking about something really silly are all things that are often associated with women. But what if you are with a woman who, over and above the all of this, is an extremely emotional person? Being an emotionally weak girl’s boyfriend is not an easy thing. You need to be extra careful of your words and actions. There is also a deep understanding that every man should have about dating an emotional woman. So to all those patient men who are in a relationship with an overly emotional woman, here are the 7 things that you need know about. ALSO READ How to make a relationship work? 5 ways to keep your relationship strong and long lasting!1. You do not have to guess if she is upset or not
When you are with somebody who is emotional, you really do not have to assume or guess about anything. If she is upset, her face will clearly tell she is. The only thing you might want to ask is why. And she will also not be the kinds to shrug off every time you ask her, ‘Are you fine.’ She is going to be open about it and might even cry a tear or two. ALSO READ Relationship goals for 2017: 7 goals that you need to set for a happier life!2. She will always be worried for you
Since your girl is emotional, chances are she is all the time worried about you. Even if you do not attend her calls for some time, she gets all panicky and worried. This is a part of her nature and you can do nothing but understand. This is because you are one of her biggest priorities in life. She will want the best for you and thus she makes sure you are okay, you are happy and if you are in trouble she will do her best to fix it. ALSO READ Relationship rules: 10 things NOT to do if you want your relationship to stay strong3. You can share your deepest secrets with her
When you date a girl who is emotional and values feelings, we guarantee you that she will never judge you for anything. You can easily share your deepest secrets with her and she will not only respect it but will also make sure it is kept as a secret. What more can you as for when you have a girlfriend who is also like a best friend to you! Tell her your dirtiest secret and you will see how comfortably she hears you out and says it is fine. ALSO READ Relationship advice for men: 10 tips that will make your lady love proud of you!4. She values relationships a lot
The best part about being with a woman who is emotional is she will take care of your feelings and makes sure she doesn’t hurt you. If there are problems in the relationship, she won’t give up on you easily. She understands and will do her best to make things work. ALSO READ These 6 tips will tell you how to maintain a good relationship with your husband!5. Calling her crazy will be your biggest mistake ever
Never ever call an emotional girl crazy because that is as good as inviting death. Calling a woman who is emotionally expressive is the biggest mistake you can ever make because by doing so it also implies that you are dismissing somebody’s feelings. The better way to do it is by talking it out and asking her politely if you guys can discuss the issue. (ALSO READ Top 10 things you will learn in the first year of your married life!).6. Her PMS is not something you want to ignore
Her PMS is will another level altogether and you have to get used to it. The best way to handle it is by keeping a track of her cycle so that you know when to be extra cautious and understanding towards her.7. Sometimes you just won’t get why she is upset and it is okay
You may at times find your girl to be upset at the silliest things. It can get tad confusing for you and you will always wonder why she is upset anyway. You may see her crying when she spots a loving couple or while watching a movie scene and you not getting it is absolutely okay. It is really okay to sometimes not get her. She just gets touched and moved easily by people and things around her. Whenever she is upset, low or welled up, all she expects is a touch or a hug. ALSO READ Why long distance relationships work: 8 reasons why distance is harmless in love!).
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Why Am I So Emotional? 15 Reasons and What to do
Feeling heightened emotions or like you’re unable to control your emotions can come down to diet choices, genetics, or stress. It can also be due to an underlying health condition, such as a mood disorder or hormones.
Emotions are typical, but sometimes after an outburst or a crying session, you may be wondering why you’re feeling so emotional.
Here you can learn the most common reasons for heightened emotions. Feeling strong emotions isn’t always bad, but there are things you can do to cope better if you need to.
1. You’re human
You may be feeling emotional today. But guess what? You’re allowed to be.
We all feel happy, sad, low, or exhilarated. Emotions are a typical part of who we are as humans. Everyone processes events and emotions differently.
You may just feel things a bit more than others; or, you might just be feeling extra sensitive today.
If someone tells you to be less emotional, they’re probably basing it on societal standards. Don’t let them put you down. Emotions aren’t weak. They’re human.
What you can do
Sometimes, your heightened emotions may negatively affect your day-to-day life, for example, in your relationships with family, friends, or colleagues.
In this case, speaking with a therapist or counselor can help you understand the reason behind your feelings and learn strategies to lower the impact of these emotions on your life.
In addition, Mental Health America recommends trying the following tips at your leisure:
- Pause your actions. It may help to count to 100 or say the alphabet backward.
- Acknowledge what you’re feeling.
- Think through your feeling and the reasons behind them.
- Determine what may make you feel better. This could be getting something to eat, doing a fun activity, or simply allowing yourself to cry.
Some people truly are more sensitive than others. While emotions are typical, being naturally more emotional may actually have a genetic component. Research indicates that about 20% to 60% of your temperament can be determined by genetics.
A personality trait called sensory processing sensitivity is a quality where someone processes the world more deeply. This includes the moods and feelings of others, as well as pain and loud noises.
In a 2021 study comparing the levels of sensitivity within sets of adolescent twins, researchers found that 47% of the differences in sensitivity between the twins were genetic. This finding supports the idea that emotional sensitivity can be inherited. In cases when siblings present with different temperaments, this difference can also partly be determined by DNA.
What you can do
Research also shows that if you have a family member with an affective disorder such as major depression, you may also have a higher risk of experiencing one.
There’s very little you can do about your genetics. After all, you are who you are. For this reason, getting therapy if you’re experiencing distressing emotions and working on self-acceptance can be enormously helpful.
Different ways to approach this include:
- Meditation or yoga
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
- Emotional regulation therapy
Learn more on how to become the boss of your emotions.
3. Lack of sleep
Everyone knows what it’s like to wake up on the wrong side of the bed, so it’s not hard to imagine that a lack of sleep can affect your emotional well-being.
Sleep deprivation has several effects on your body, including:
- trouble thinking and concentrating
- higher risk of anxiety or depression
- weakened immune system
- poor balance and higher risk of accidents
It can affect your mood, too, especially the longer sleep deprivation occurs.
Studies have shown that sleep may be linked to emotional regulation, so getting less sleep may cause your emotions to seem out of whack.
Feeling more irritable or easier to anger is common when chronically sleep-deprived.
What you can do
The American Academy of Sleep Medicine and the Sleep Research Society recommend that adults sleep for at least 7 hours a night. Adolescents and children require 8 to 14 hours a night, depending on their age.
Strategies that can help you get better sleep include:
- keeping a consistent bedtime
- limiting bright lights in your bedroom
- removing electronics from your bedroom
- getting regular exercise
- not smoking
- limiting heavy meals, caffeine, or alcohol before bed
Learn more tips on how to sleep better.
4. Lack of exercise
We’ve all heard the physical health benefits of exercise, but exercise can also have a big effect on mood and emotions.
A 2018 study showed that regular physical exercise can contribute to better emotional regulation during stressful times.
Another 2017 study also showed that aerobic exercise had a therapeutic effect on regulating emotions.
What you can do
If you’re feeling extra emotional, jumping on a treadmill or going for a jog could help alleviate it.
According to the “Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans, 2nd edition,” you should aim to get at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity a week.
5. An unhealthy diet
Everything you eat affects your body, and a healthy diet can improve your overall well-being and mental health.
It may come down to your eating foods if you’re feeling emotional.
Research has found that eating an unhealthy diet can negatively influence your mood. In particular, foods that are high on the glycemic index, such as carbohydrates, may increase the incidence of depressive symptoms.
What you can do
This doesn’t mean that you necessarily need to completely avoid entire food groups. Eating a balanced diet is the best way to support both your physical and mental health.
In particular, you may wish to:
- Make sure you’re consuming a nutrient-dense diet. Following a Mediterranean diet is one good way to make sure you’re getting the right amounts of all the nutrients you need.
- Avoid processed, fatty, and fast foods.
- Avoid skipping meals.
- Make sure you’re not lacking vital vitamins and minerals. Consult with a doctor to see if you’d benefit from dietary supplements.
Pro tip: Mix things up
Not getting varied enough, nutrient-dense foods can mean you’re relying too heavily on one area of the food pyramid. This will likely lead to vitamin and nutrient deficiencies that can affect your mood and health.
Stress can take a toll on our bodies. If you’re feeling stressed or burnt out, you’re likely going to feel a little emotional.
There are many reasons you may experience stress. For example, when major life events or big changes occur, you’re inevitably going to feel the stress — no matter how well you plan for it.
A 2018 study also revealed that living with high stress levels can increase negative emotions such as anger or depression.
In particular, the study showed that the more stress you feel, the more you tend to ruminate on what’s making you stressed, which in turn increases your negative emotions.
What you can do
Coping with stress or anxiety involves many of the same strategies you’d use to cope with any challenging emotion.
Speaking with a counselor, a supportive family member or a friend can help.
In addition, leading a healthy lifestyle, taking time to do activities you enjoy, and limiting the use of substances and alcohol can help you manage day-to-day stress.
Learn more on how to cope with anxiety.
Grief is a varied, complicated, and messy thing. Grieving the loss of someone is one of the hardest things that we all universally go through. So if you’re not feeling yourself, or your emotions don’t feel the same, that’s typical.
Grief doesn’t have to just be about losing a loved one. You can grieve for your past self, a child you never had, or even a breakup.
We all handle loss differently and go through the stages of grief at different times, and we may not come out on the other side the same.
What you can do
Everybody grieves differently, and this is OK. Sometimes part of the grieving process can be simply allowing yourself to experience the emotions of grief to release them. You can also try some of these strategies to help you cope:
- Talk about your grief with a trusted person or counselor.
- Spend time with people who share your loss like your family or friends.
- Take care of your health by trying to eat healthfully and get adequate sleep.
- Stick to a consistent schedule.
Learn more about coping with grief.
8. Mental health
There are a number of mental health conditions that can impact mood. They include:
- bipolar disorder
- personality disorders
- post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or complex PTSD
It’s important to note that there’s a difference between stress and anxiety. Stress usually responds to something specific in your life and will go away. Anxiety is when you experience prolonged worry for no obvious external reason. In cases when anxiety is chronic, it can become an anxiety disorder, which can significantly impact your emotional regulation.
Another condition that may affect mood is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). While difficulty focusing and trouble sitting still are the most well-known symptoms of ADHD, the disorder can also magnify your emotions. Research shows that emotional dysregulation is common among people living with ADHD, especially among children and adolescents.
What you can do
If you’re feeling emotional and believe that a mental health condition is a cause, it’s important to look for help. A doctor can evaluate you and provide you with an accurate diagnosis. This will help them determine the best treatment.
Depending on the type of condition, you may benefit from certain medications. There are numerous treatments that can help you manage your symptoms and feel a little more in control of your emotions.
In cases of trauma, it may be particularly difficult to heal on your own without any treatment.
Your treatment can include various types of therapy, such as CBT or psychotherapy for example. You may also benefit from taking medications such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs).
Help is out there
If you or someone you know is in crisis and considering suicide or self-harm, please seek support:
- Call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.
- Text HOME to the Crisis Textline at 741741.
- Not in the United States? Find a helpline in your country with Befrienders Worldwide.
- Call 911 or your local emergency services number if you feel safe to do so.
If you’re calling on behalf of someone else, stay with them until help arrives. You may remove weapons or substances that can cause harm if you can do so safely.
If you are not in the same household, stay on the phone with them until help arrives.
Hormones have both physical and psychological effects on the body. Any hormonal imbalance or extra sensitivity to hormonal changes can cause a change in your emotions.
In people assigned female at birth, hormonal fluctuations relating to the reproductive cycle can cause shifts in mood and difficulty controlling intense emotions in some people.
This is evident during menopause, for example, when the fluctuation in estrogen levels during menopause can lead to higher levels of negative emotions such as anger or sadness.
This can also occur before menstruation in what’s known as premenstrual syndrome (PMS) or premenstrual dysmorphic disorder, which is similar to PMS but includes more severe emotional symptoms.
There’s some evidence that using hormonal contraceptives can affect your emotions. Depression, anxiety, and anger were all found to be higher in people taking hormonal birth control.
The hormone testosterone also plays a role in male emotional regulation and can negatively affect mood.
Testosterone decreases with age, and medical conditions can cause a person to have low testosterone. These include genetic conditions such as hemochromatosis, an injury to the genitals, or cancer.
The female body also produces some testosterone. However, in some cases like polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), it produces too much, which disrupts typical hormone levels. This can also lead to shifts in mood.
Are sex and gender the same thing?
People often use the terms sex and gender interchangeably, but they have different meanings:
- “Sex” refers to the physical characteristics that differentiate male, female, and intersex bodies.
- “Gender” refers to a person’s identity and how they feel inside. Examples include man, woman, nonbinary, agender, bigender, genderfluid, pangender, and trans. A person’s gender identity may be different from the sex they were assigned at birth.
An imbalance of your thyroid hormones can affect your emotions, raising your risk of developing anxiety and depression.
In addition, certain stress hormones, such as oxytocin or cortisol, can affect mood, such as increased anger or emotional sensitivity. This is particularly true in cases of Cushing syndrome, which may be caused by a benign pituitary or adrenal tumor and can lead to excessive cortisol.
The adrenal gland’s imbalance of other hormones such as insulin may also affect your emotions and mood. This is known as adrenal insufficiency.
What you can do
The treatment for a problem with your hormones depends on the underlying cause and the type of hormone affected.
In many cases, a doctor will recommend a type of hormone therapy or hormone replacement. For some conditions, treatment with corticosteroids may be needed.
In case of a condition like Cushing, you may need surgery to remove the implicated gland. You may also need radiation or chemotherapy, even if the tumor is benign.
If you feel like your emotions are out of your control, or you believe it’s caused by an underlying health issue, see a healthcare professional. They can help you get to the root of the issue or refer you to a specialist.
Some strong or negative emotions are normal. However, if your feelings are causing you distress or having a negative impact on your life, you don’t have to simply accept them. Help is available.
Emotional girl. Women's emotionality: good or evil
Girls are so complex creatures that it is almost impossible to understand them. Sometimes even they themselves cannot find out what they really feel and why they behave this way and not otherwise. There are many different explanations for female emotionality. A sensational discovery from the point of view of narrow specialists has been published on the website of the US National Center for Biotechnology Information. It turns out that in girls with negative experiences - distress, anxiety, feelings of humiliation, etc. - such a metabolite of dopamine as homovanillic acid is released. In boys, this substance is not released during stress. Somewhere here lies the key to the chemistry of women's experiences. But for people far from pharmacology, this information does not provide practical benefits and understanding of the causes of girlish experiences. Female emotionality can be tiresome for the woman herself, but evolutionarily this is a useful property. From the point of view of the ability to survive, a woman should be emotional, sensitive and anxious. Unlike a man. Let's imagine: a man follows a bear's trail, tracks down prey and sits in an ambush; a bear appears - a hefty carcass full of rage. The beast must be lured into a trap and killed. All this time, no emotions should act on the man, the hunter should be calm and quiet. nine0003 On the contrary, it is better for the hunter's wife, who remained on the farm, to constantly worry about the most, it would seem, insignificant reason. Moreover, the reason for excitement arises in her precisely at the moment when everything is quiet and calm. Why is baby Girkh quiet there? Had he caught the tarantula again to tear off its paws? Why are little Brugh and Hrugh laughing so merrily? Haven't they played too much, won't they start hitting each other with an elk's tibia? Will the fire go out in the hearth? Did rodents get into the pantry? But this applies to adult women who are responsible for children and families. And an emotional girl simply enjoys the privilege of obeying impulses. An emotional girl is pure poetry and romance. An emotional girl captivates the eye and allows less sensitive people to see such fragments of reality that they themselves would never have noticed. A feature of girlish emotionality can be considered the fact that the reasons for the surge of her feelings are not external circumstances, but internal ones. When a girl explodes, the immediate cause for frustration is only the last straw that overflowed her cup of patience. In most cases, she can easily brush aside any trouble. But if there are too many disappointments that follow one after another, the girl feels like a helpless and cornered victim. nine0003 Her sudden flash is essentially a signal flare, telling all observers within range that the girl is in distress. Some emotional girls manage to keep the impulsive nature of their nature as a universal justification for their extravagances in quite a mature time. "I'm an emotional girl, what can I do. " Here, for example, is the song by Canadian country singer Terri Clark, which is called “Emotional Girl” (Terri Clark, Emotional Girl). The video sequence of this clip seems to hint to us that Terry can easily kill someone and she will not get anything for it, because well, she is so unpredictable. Enjoy. Free translation of this song. I see how you look at me. Bet I know what you're thinking? How would you get what you see. But under the cold steepness of my appearance beats a frantic stream of passions. Therefore, before you come closer, I want to warn you: I am an emotional girl. Chorus: I am an emotional girl and I can not cope with myself. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry, sometimes both. I have a passionate heart and there's nothing you can do about it. You and I could spin a whole whirlpool, but I warn you, young man: I am an emotional girl. I like the music to play loud and the lights to burn far below. I like to drive fast and dance slowly. Some people say that I'm extreme, because when I start something, I can't stop. But I can't help that half of my heart. nine0005
Write your questions and suggestions in the comments. Bye!
Absolutely the entire female population is very emotional and sensitive. Do not take this as a violation, but rather as a fact. Men express themselves in fewer words, while women express themselves in more detail. There are many such differences between the sexes and these differences should be respected, not changed. This article will help you understand why women are very emotional, expressive and talkative.
Scientific research shows that the left and right hemispheres of the brain of a man and a woman are structured differently, and therefore affect the functioning of the emotional state in different ways. Women tend to use both sides of their brain but prefer the right side, while men tend to use the left side more. nine0005
The left brain is responsible for logical thinking and problem solving skills, while the right side is responsible for prosodic language functions, creativity, face perception, and for generating emotions.
The left side of the brain takes care of our IQ and the right side takes care of our EQ. Therefore, those people who use the left brain look at situations more adequately, applying logical decisions and rationality. While the female population uses both sides of their brains, they have issues with creativity. The right brain is also responsible for our ability to express our feelings and thoughts. nine0005
Women are more emotional
Women have a more developed limbic system. The limbic system deals with human aspects such as behavior, emotions, and memory. This allows them to feel and express their feelings in a better way and to connect with others easily. Although the problem is that it opens the door to depression, especially when going through a phase of hormonal shifts during their menstrual cycle and pregnancy. So, during such stages, a woman may seem overly emotional and capricious. nine0005
Coping with stress
In addition, how women deal with stress differs from men. The hormone oxytocin is released during stress. These hormones work differently in men and women. When people are under stress, their testosterone reduces the effect of oxytocin, when it runs out, it makes a man aggressive and angry. Women, on the other hand, have estrogen, which increases the hormone oxytocin, the effects of which lead to feelings of calm and nurturing. Men do not know how to express their emotional feelings and thoughts, and instead, they react angrily or aggressively. nine0005
Moreover, they are always ready for battle. Women tend to deal with stress with the "make friends" strategy. Women feel more pain in the amygdala region of the brain, which is activated when a person is in pain. The amygdala is also part of the limbic system, but deals more with pain-related emotions. The almond is present in both men and women. However, men and women accept and show pain differently. Women feel more pain than men. This can be explained by the fact that when in physical pain a man gives less than morphine in women to achieve the same amount of pain reduction. Women feel pain more than men, they declare their pain and also try to heal it. nine0005
What are securities? You will learn about this and much more.
Men and women are different
Women feel differently than men. They cry and grieve, especially when they go through PMS or during pregnancy. There are so many changes that take place in a woman's body every month. That's why when they seem to be more emotional during times of pain or stress. Men undergo changes with relatively less intensity. So if you look from a man's point of view, women seem to be more emotional. They are "so emotional" only when you compare them to men. But thanks to this very feeling, like emotionality, a woman is a good mother. After all, in order to raise children, you need to feel them with your soul and heart, and not think with your head. They can feel in addition to their own pain and someone else's. nine0005
I have been coaching guys with Roman for many years, I was at a live training, I think that the training "Date: from meeting to sex" is the only most informative information product on this topic in Runet. Roman is an experienced trainer and has been in the topic of seduction for many years, he himself learned a lot from him. Came to Novosibirsk to Roman for personal coaching. I was very pleased, as Roman changed my life for the better and taught me how to get the most out of everything, no matter what I do. I also found myself and my way, now there is a business, there is a beloved girl nearby. Everything is fine! nine0034
Eduard, Ulan-Ude, 39 years old
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Good video courses that contain neither water nor empty words - only specifics and valuable information on all aspects of the course topics. The dates are very detailed. Relationships are shown in detail and clearly. After studying both courses, I can safely say that there are no more questions. There is only a desire to develop and gain success. Thank you, Roman, for your invaluable work on the courses! nine0034
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Individual training with Roman Vinilov on dating and dating girls. All sessions were very productive. There were many exercises that gave results instantly. Roman showed his skill, gave advice, motivated. I learned a lot, understood a lot and I am very glad that I studied with Roman. For the sake of this, he even came to Novosibirsk from distant Tyumen)
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Evgeny, Novosibirsk, 22 years old
Thank you for your mailing lessons and books. Although they are free, but the information in them is very valuable! For a whole year I scoured the Internet for information on how to seduce girls on a date, there was nothing worthwhile ... only a pickup truck, RMS, some western stuff ... and then I got acquainted with your work. That's what our Russian guys are missing! Everything is ours, for real, without falsehood. I really liked your approach to seduction. Not stupid sex, but something more ... although for those who want only sex - that's it too))) I wanted a relationship with a beautiful girl and got it thanks to your lessons. Thanks, Rom! nine0034
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Ilya, Novosibirsk, 22 years old
Logical answer: it is better not to speak. But sometimes you still have to, for example, when she is a passion, how sweet you are. Or at work it is very necessary. Or ... yes, a lot of why else. Dealing with emotional girls is a great art that needs to be learned. I haven't met many dudes in the world who understand how to deal with girls. Even fewer I have met those who can communicate with emotional specimens. The reason why bros don't know how to deal with emotional girls and girls in general is, in my enlightened opinion, that we guys just don't want to give importance to girls' feelings and their behavior. It seems to us flawed, while it is just a little more emotional than ours. Feelings, tears and other elements of emotional girls scare bros who give up the idea of understanding their girlfriends and just go to their online games or friends. And the girl gets even more upset because they don’t want to pay attention to her and don’t want to listen to her. Yes, and she is, in fact, right. nine0005
Emotional girl is a girl in the n-power. What to do with them when they are upset about something, cry and feel bad?
1. "Everything will be fine"
When a girl cries, we are used to saying "Everything will be fine" like movie characters do, but this is a disgusting way of comforting. “Well, thank you, Captain obvious, of course, everything will be fine, give me a minute to cry!”, the girl thinks. The best alternative comfortingly say, “I see you are REALLY upset right now. Go here…". nine0005
2. Don't cry!
“Perhaps you will tell me not to breathe yet?” the girl will think to herself. Any phrases in the spirit of "Don't be sad!", "Smile!" equally infuriate both girls and bro. When a girl has tears, it’s not so easy to stop: you need to wait until they stop going on their own, that is, when resentment or sadness passes. The best alternative: : "Let me give you a handkerchief." Dudes who approach girls in tears with a handkerchief increase the chances of adoration and sex after tears many times over! nine0005
3. "Don't cry, let's have sex!"
Do you even need to say how much of a crap phrase this is? “Yes, sex is actually the last thing I think about. Does he think his penis is magic? Instead of a stupid proposal, after which you may well lose a couple of teeth, just start hugging her, kissing her, stroking her hair ... And everything will be
4."Be strong for me!"
“Are you implying that I am weak?” or “Being emotionally vulnerable is a weakness.” In fact, this phrase is disgusting, because it is terribly hackneyed. The girl will remain strong, but only for her own sake. nine0120 Better alternative: "You are strong, you can handle it!".
She is crying, but you are silent. She cries, and you are silent again. She cries, and you sigh sympathetically and heavily. Insensitive beast! The best alternative: eye contact. A light sympathetic smile and a pat on the shoulder. Pinnacle of Empathy: Cry with her.
6. “Well, why are you crying? It doesn't really matter! Stop making an elephant out of a fly!”
“If I cry, then it already matters,” the girl will answer you silently. nine0120 Better alternative: explain why you're so upset.
7. “Do you have PMS?”
“Can I be sad and cry on other days?” the girl will be sincerely indignant. By the way, not always girls these days have a changeable mood, oh, not always! The best alternative: You're hypersensitive today, right?
8. “There's nothing you can do about it. So why are you so upset?"
Alas, many men try to avoid sensitivity, empathy and emotional dependency. Such words are pronounced after something difficult, for example, the death of a loved one. In my opinion, to say such words is a bit blasphemous. Unfortunately, these people cannot understand that if every person living on earth followed your logic, the world would be an even more unpleasant place than it is now. nine0120 Better alternative: I know it's hard to accept...
9. "You're taking this too personally!"
If a girl cries, then it still makes sense for her. The best alternative: "I understand that now it seems to you that everything can't get worse, but everything can change with time!"
10. "Pull yourself together"
"Oh wait, where's my emotion switch. .. Ah yes, I don't have one!!!" Go to hell!". The best alternative: nine0121 “Cry as much as you need. I will be near"! And it's yours, man, with giblets! Because it was incredibly beautiful!!!
Emotional woman and thinking man, quarrel
But first, a question.
Let's say you've been tested at a clinic and you've been given a severe, possibly fatal, diagnosis.
You come home, there is a husband/wife.
What are you doing?
Some, their few, can even remain silent, hide.
Most will definitely tell, share.
Why tell if the husband/wife is not a doctor?
Someone - just to speak out.
But such a person will definitely wait for a response.
What, what should it be?
Real practical advice on what to do next? Go there, get tested again, something in the same vein.
Emotional response, sympathy, compassion, empathy?
Maybe the unexpressed emotional response is important for a person - grief, pain for his wife/husband/close person? nine0187 Or another way of looking at the problem?
What did the lady's husband do?
I don't know if he advised his wife to do such and such, it was left behind the scenes.
I know she didn't get the emotional response she was hoping for.
In general, a minimum of emotional reaction.
The man turned out to be stern, for him it is snot, whining and womanhood.
He just took and solved the problem.
Not being a doctor decided.
He had an acquaintance, a very good specialist.
He took papers about his wife's tests, got a meeting with his acquaintance (it was not entirely easy, they were not friends, and the man's social status was lower, strictly speaking, he could easily be sent) and received a very qualified consultation. nine0187 Even without money, which was also important for the man in this story, he is not a very rich person.
The diagnosis was made incorrectly, there was no illness, there was no threat to life, you can continue to live in peace. And don't worry!
The wife is frightened because of the diagnosis, she is horrified, she runs to her husband, shares with him.
The husband, not being a doctor, solves the problem.
His wife hates him.
The first is the discrepancy between expectation and reality. nine0187 The wife wanted emotional empathy, she expected emotions from her husband!
Her husband did not give her emotions.
The husband acted according to his nature, according to his character, he began to solve the problem and solved it.
The wife didn't count on it.
What's more, she's not particularly grateful for that!
I wanted emotions - I didn't get them.
Received a solution to the problem, but since the diagnosis was not confirmed, it would not have been confirmed anyway, even without the participation of the husband (well, most likely).
In addition, there was one more detail: the husband got an appointment in a day, that is, the woman suffered for two nights, considered herself dying, did not receive emotional support and quietly buried herself, hiding in one of the rooms. nine0187 The medical specialist was not her husband's friend, only an acquaintance...
And the husband, among other things, also saved money for new tests.
The woman did not appreciate the result achieved by her husband.
The fact that this story could have had completely different consequences, that the diagnosis would not necessarily be rejected, that she could easily suffer or even die from improper treatment, and that her husband saved her, our lady does not think.
But the fact that he did not take pity on her, or did not take pity on her enough, and also made her wait and kill herself, not “daring” to strain her friend (she has a question of life, and he divorced diplomacy with a stranger!) - she remembered this very well , that's what she got out of this crisis. nine0187 Result: did not understand, did not help, took into account the condition of the other, not her, thought about money while she was preparing for death.
And do not rush to evaluate this lady as absurd, harmful and stupid!
This is a common, even typical situation, only it usually does not manifest itself so sharply.
How does psychotypology help to understand the meaning of this conflict?
There are two psychological functions, Jung generally called them rational: thinking (action) and emotions (experience).
The husband is thinking-tactile-active, he is aimed at solving the problem, always, even without proper qualifications, even by proxy. nine0187 The wife is emotional, she does not believe in action and decision, it is important for her to experience.
She expected empathy from her husband.
Moreover, perhaps she always lacks an emotional response from her husband.
Therefore - you may be surprised and shocked, but it happens - she, among other things, thought about this: well, now he won’t get out, I will get as much compassion as I need, I will just bathe in emotions ( bathe not necessarily in positive ones, some people, especially when it comes to themselves, really like dramatic or tragic emotions). nine0005
But she didn't get any of that.
Her expectations were deceived.
She did not believe in her husband's efficiency, in his ability to solve problems - he just took the papers to a specialist, a normal man would have put her in the best clinic for an examination on the second day and did not regret any money, but this one also saved.
In addition, once again you will not expect emotions from anyone, as usual, even then he got out.
He also deprived her of the role of a martyr, you understand, without catharsis, etc., there can be as many reproaches as you like. nine0005
Parenthetically, I would say that for a husband, the death of his wife would be a catastrophe, his life is very strongly tied to her.
But he is not emotional, with his strong type, emotions do not play a dominant role.
Emotions are repressed into a weak type, which is suppressed by a man, after all, he acted, took steps and waited for results.
And he experienced the shock of the news in silence, he simply turned to stone and refused to show his feelings.
It was enough for a peasant:
a) to empathize, to give his wife as many emotions as she wanted; nine0187 b) solve the problem by his own means, but at the same time clearly fix the possible negative consequences if the wife remained in the hands of the same bad doctors, that is, emphasize the necessity and significance of his actions, convince his woman of this.
For this it was necessary to know and take into account the psychological type of his wife and his own.
In addition, it is very desirable for the wife herself to understand:
- what she specifically wants from her husband,
- can she get it,
- if she can, then how, perhaps, simply to report her desire. nine0187 Believe me, if I understand that I need emotional support, I ask for emotional support and receive it, the sharpness of emotions does not decrease.
And the feeling of gratitude for the right reaction, even if it was directly requested, does not disappear.
Surprises are often pleasant, but not always.
Satisfaction of a need, even in the form of a formulated request, is pleasant in any case.
We draw conclusions:
- it is necessary to more or less clearly understand what kind of reaction we are asking for; nine0187 - a person is capable of all types of reactions, both practical and emotional action, just some of them will be more organic and natural for him, and he will have to explain and remind about others;
- as a last resort, you must understand what kind of reaction a person is capable of, and what kind of reaction it is pointless to expect from him.
Yes, another important point.
We need to know what function we have in a strong personality - emotional (auditory) or mental (tactile-motor).
Because it is highly desirable to have a correct, adequate idea of yourself. nine0187 The woman I was talking about considers herself unemotional.
She believes that all her emotions are under control, and she herself is sober and reasonable.