Neglectful husband quiz
Emotional Neglect in Marriage Quiz
Having a successful marriage requires an equal amount of effort from both partners. If only one person is doing their part, the other person could be left feeling lonely and unimportant. Emotional neglect can happen in any marriage, but it isn't always easy to identify. You are emotionally neglected means that your partner has failed to make your feelings a priority. They may be ignoring you at important moments, withholding affection, acting distant, or dismissing your emotions. If this sounds familiar, take this quiz to discover if you've been experiencing emotional neglect in your marriage.
Questions Excerpt
1. If you’re having a problem and want to talk it out with your partner, how do they react?
A. My partner is open to communication and is a great listener
B. My partner frequently ignores my requests to talk about our feelings
C. My partner listens for a little bit but eventually loses interest
2. Does your spouse consult you when it comes to making big decisions that impact the both of you?
A. Yes, we always work together as a team
B. No, no spouse often makes major decisions without my knowledge
C. Sometimes I’m not included in these decisions
3. When you want to be intimate with your spouse, who usually makes the first move?
A. I show my spouse I am interested in intimacy and I often get rejected
B. I make the first move and my spouse also shows interest in being intimate
C. My spouse is the one who usually makes the first move and I am receptive to their advances
4. Does your spouse give you eye contact during a conversation?
A. No, my spouse often looks away when talking to me
B. Yes my partner always gives me eye contact
C. My partner gives me eye contact most of the time but could be more attentive
5. How do you and your partner spend your free time?
A. We spend quality time together as a couple
B.
We split our time between individual and couple activities
C. We spend the majority of our free time apart
6. Do you feel comfortable voicing your opinions to your spouse?
A. I don’t know if I’m comfortable or not
B. Yes, I know my spouse wants to hear me
C. No, my spouse shows no signs in being interested in what I think
7. How often do you feel ignored, invalidated, and disregarded in your marriage?
A. I feel that way most of the time
B. There are moments when I feel that way
C. I have never felt that way
8. Do you feel like your spouse only focuses on their needs instead of yours?
A. No, I don’t feel that way at all
B. Sometimes I feel that way
C. I feel that way all the time
9. How would you describe the way your spouse affects your self esteem?
A. My spouse makes me feel confident and empowered
B. My spouse makes me feel worthless and inferior
C. My spouse doesn’t impact my self esteem
10.
Do you feel like the person you married truly loves you?
A. I don’t know anymore
B. I do not feel loved by my partner
C. I feel very loved by my partner
Identify the most important emotional needs in your marriage – TalkItOver
Home » Marriage » Marriage Quiz: Identify the most important emotional needs in your marriage
We all have basic emotional needs that translate into us feeling loved by another. It is often these emotional needs that drive us into falling in love and marrying our spouse. When some of these needs start getting ignored in our marriage, many times by neglect and not necessarily by intent, we may feel that our spouse no longer loves us or that our marriage has lost its spark. How often have we found ourselves making the following statements?
I don’t want my partner to work so much.
Our relationship has lost all its romance.
I don’t like the way my spouse parents our child.
I don’t want to be stuck in such an unfulfilling marriage.
I don’t like my in-laws.
I don’t want to be the person who has to do all the work in this marriage.
We seem to have a long list of things which we don’t like or things which aren’t working for us in our marriage. We complain about them constantly and wonder why we don’t have that fairy-tale marriage we read about or saw in the movies. Now is the time to stop worrying and take action! The first step is to become aware of what we do want – our most important emotional needs.
The good news is that it is always possible to improve our marriage and make it even stronger by simply becoming aware of each other’s most important emotional needs, those needs that brought us together in the first place, and then learning how to meet them.
The first step is to identify those emotional needs that are most important to you, before you can communicate them to your spouse. You are the only one who can do this as only you know what makes you feel loved in your marriage.
Take the following quiz. Your spouse and you should fill this up separately.
Indicate how much does the following need makes you happy by choosing the appropriate number using the following scale:
- 0-2 (I don’t have a need) – I am happy with my spouse even when this need is not met.
- 3-6 (I have a moderate need) – I’m neither happy nor sad when this need is not met.
- 7-10 (I have a great need) – I am very unhappy with my spouse when this need is not met.
| How much do I need this in order for me to feel happy in our marriage? | Rating (0 – 10) | |
| 1. | Conversation (talking and receiving undivided attention about thoughts, feelings, challenges, activities of the day, dreams and future goals; talking and listening to understand, support and inform) | |
2. | Sharing tasks at home (managing of the home and caring of the children, including but not limited to cooking meals, washing dishes, washing and ironing clothes, housecleaning). | |
| 3. | Expression of affection (the expression of love in gifts, hugs, words, notes, sweet nothings, kisses and acts of service). | |
| 4. | Work & Financial Support (providing financial resources, maintaining a standard of living that is acceptable to you and at the same time avoiding travel and working hours that are unacceptable to you). | |
| 5. | Sexual Intimacy (a sexual experience that is enjoyable and that is frequent enough for both of you). | |
| 6. | Family Commitment (scheduling sufficient time and energy for your children, parents, in-laws and extended family, taking children on frequent outings, reading to them, discussing methods and styles in parenting, discussing issues with in-laws) | |
7. | Values and Beliefs (honesty – answering questions truthfully and completely, not giving a false impression, being transparent and open about feelings, thoughts, events and daily living; similar attitudes towards religion and spiritual pursuits) | |
| 8. | Hygiene & Attractiveness (keeping physically fit, daily hygiene and dressing up in a manner that you find pleasing). | |
| 9. | Recreation & Health (taking time out for recreation, weekend activities, vacations, physical exercise, diet, habits that affect health) | |
| 10. | Admiration & Respect (appreciating you in small and big things, accepting you with your flaws and valuing you clearly and often). | |
When you and your spouse have each completed the quiz, you would have identified for each other your five most important emotional needs by looking at your top 5 rankings.
These needs represent the most important areas in your marriage that need immediate attention. Even in a good marriage, you may find that both partners may be doing well on some areas while missing out on others, thereby making each other feel unloved at certain times.
When you learn to meet your spouse’s five most important emotional needs, and your spouse learns to meet yours, you may find your marriage, even if happy, to become happier and mutually satisfying.
If you’d like to learn about how to meet each other’s emotional needs and building a stronger bond, consider attending ‘Renew – A marriage enrichment program from TalkItOver’ – which is a 2 day weekend program for couples to experience renewed love and joy in their marriage. The program equips couples with the awareness, tools and relationship skills for meeting each other’s emotional needs and creating a mutually satisfying relationship. Register for the program by writing to [email protected] or seek confidential and professional marriage counselling by taking an appointment with a qualified TalkItOver marriage counsellor.
Talk It Over
📖 Results, "Spouse test", 2. Tests for wife and husband. The best psychological tests for birthdays and family holidays. Stanul V. A. Page 6. Read online
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For each answer, assign the number of points indicated in brackets. As a result, the result obtained will help to find out what kind of wife you really are.
1 . While cooking you:
A. You are guided only by the taste of your spouse (6 points). nine0006
B. More than their taste preferences (2 points).
B. According to the established family menu, that is, a week what your husband likes, a week what you like (4 points).
2 . Do you occasionally have thoughts that:
A. You got married in vain, without a spouse your life would be much easier and more pleasant (1 point).
B. Despite the difficulties, being close to your loved one is a great happiness (5 points).
B. Another day flew by without gifts, adventures, and passionate declarations of love (2 points).
nine0006
3 . If one of the "well-wishers" told you in confidence that your husband is not so faithful to you, then you:
A. Burning with strong revenge and preparing an insidious plan to punish your offender (1 point).
B. Trying to immediately find the reasons in yourself (6 points).
B. Tell the “well-wisher” that you have no doubts about your spouse (3 points).
4 . A new restaurant has opened, and your husband promised you to go there in the evening. You are in joyful anticipation, but your spouse, having come home from work, said that he was very tired and the restaurant visit was canceled. You:
A. Pout and stop talking to your husband (2 points).
B. Say that the holiday is not cancelled, prepare an original dinner, light candles and arrange a romantic evening at home (6 points).
B. Report that you are as tired as he is and also want to stay at home (5 points).
5 . As a child, what was your favorite thing to dress up in:
A.
Boyish shorts and pants (1 point).
B. Elegant dresses, blouses and skirts (5 points). nine0006
B. Children's tracksuits (4 points).
6 . As a child, your favorite games were:
A. Adult games: salespeople, doctors or teachers (4 points).
B. Children's girl games with dolls and toys (5 points).
B. Boyish amusements: “Cossack robbers”, football, etc. (1 point).
7 . What was your favorite thing to play with:
A. Toys and dolls (2 points). nine0006
B. Boys and girls (5 points).
B. Both with children and with dolls (4 points).
8 . During the games you preferred:
A. To remain only the leader at any cost (2 points).
B. Become a leader during the game, gaining authority (4 points).
V. Willingly gave the initiative to other children (6 points).
9 . Husband returned from work in a bad mood, you:
A.
Guess instead of persistently questioning him, believing that, after resting, he himself will share his troubles with you (5 points).
B. Persistently begin to find out what really happened to him at work (6 points).
B. Get very upset and angry with him because he spends so much time at his job (2 points).
10 . You are going on vacation, but suddenly your spouse reports that he is not allowed to leave work. You:
A. Unpack your bags and don't go anywhere (5 points).
B. Stay at home, but every time you blame your other half for everything (2 points).
Q. Do not cancel the trip (4 points).
11 . You made an appointment with friends, they are waiting, but suddenly the husband says that he is not in the mood:
A. You call your friends, apologize and cancel the meeting (6 points).
B. Going to a meeting without your husband (4 points). nine0006
B. Do as your spouse says (3 points).
12 . You argued, and your opinions are radically opposite. You:
A. Persistently stick to your opinion (5 points).
B. You give up positions, but then you strongly reproach yourself and condemn yourself for being too compliant (2 points).
B. Despite a heated argument that threatens to turn into a scandal, you defend your opinion fiercely (1 point).
Results
Less than 25 points. nine0011 Your marriage is by no means the happiest and, for the most part, it is your fault. You do not listen to the opinion of your husband, your desire is the law. Any slightest conflict can turn into a big quarrel because of your intransigence. Remember that your husband is also a person, that once you fell in love with him for his numerous virtues that have not disappeared anywhere. Try to be more accommodating and gentle.
26–50 points. You are a tactician, and peaceful enough not to aggravate relations over trifles.
You can give in when you think that the issue is not important, but if you feel that something threatens your family happiness, you know how to "attack" and "bite" (however, quite intelligently). You respect your opinion, but the opinion of your other half is not in last place for you, which always allows your family to come to a common denominator. nine0006
More than 50 points. You are a very determined and even somewhat tough person. However, your tact and exceptional femininity allow you to ignore your attacks. If you are dissatisfied with your marriage union, then you are not thinking about how to get a divorce, how bad everything is and how poor and unhappy you are, but on the contrary, you are looking for ways to strengthen your marriage, how to make it harmonious and happy.
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