Motivation in emotional intelligence

Emotional Intelligence | SkillsYouNeed

Many of us are aware of IQ (Intelligence Quotient). Designed to measure intellectual intelligence, it gives a score from a series of tests. Higher IQs indicate better cognitive abilities, or the ability to learn and understand. People with higher IQs are more likely to do well academically without exerting the same amount of mental effort as those with lower IQ scores.

A logical assumption, therefore, is that people with higher IQs will be more successful at work and through life. This assumption has been proven incorrect – there is more to success than simply being ‘clever’.

Emotional Intelligence (EI or sometimes EQ – Emotional Quotient) is a more modern concept and was only fully developed in the mid-1990s, by Daniel Goleman, among others.

Emotional Intelligence: A Definition

Emotional Intelligence is the measure of an individual’s abilities to recognise and manage their emotions, and the emotions of other people, both individually and in groups.

Benefits of Higher Emotional Intelligence

  • People with higher emotional intelligence find it easier to form and maintain interpersonal relationships and to ‘fit in’ to group situations.

  • People with higher emotional intelligence are also better at understanding their own psychological state, which can include managing stress effectively and being less likely to suffer from depression.

There is no correlation between IQ and EI scores.

In other words, academic aptitude (IQ) has no connection with how people understand and deal with their emotions and the emotions of others (EI). This makes perfect sense: we’ve all met very clever people who nonetheless had no idea about how to deal with people, and the reverse.

Some people have high IQs and low emotional intelligence and vice versa, while some people score highly on both and some do not.

IQ and emotional intelligence attempt to measure different forms of human intelligence; along with personality, these measures make up an individual’s psyche.

Emotional intelligence is the one part of the human psyche that we can develop and improve by learning and practising new skills. You can learn more about these skills from the many pages here at SkillsYouNeed. IQ and personality are more static measures and likely to stay reasonably constant throughout life (although you can develop your ability to complete IQ tests very successfully).

For more about personality types, you may be interested in our pages on Myers-Briggs Type Indicators (MBTI) and MBTI in Practice.

You can find many different tests to help you measure your IQ, EI and personality online and in books. Emotional intelligence tests require that the person taking the test answers questions honestly and it is therefore a lot easier to ‘cheat’ at an EI test than it is an IQ test.

Ultimately emotional intelligence can only be measured by how an individual progresses through life - developing meaningful relationships with others, their interpersonal skills and understanding, their ability to manage their own emotions, and their personal skills.

Why not try our Interpersonal Skills Self-Assessment which includes a section on emotional intelligence.

Elements of Emotional Intelligence

Daniel Goleman divided Emotional Intelligence into ‘Personal’ and ‘Social’ competences, which broadly split between personal and interpersonal skills on SkillsYouNeed. Within each of these sections are a range of skills which are the elements of emotional intelligence.

Personal Skills or Competences Social Skills or Competences
How we manage ourselves How we handle relationships with others
  • Self-awareness
    • Emotional awareness
    • Accurate self-assessment
    • Self-confidence
  • Self-regulation
    • Self-control
    • Trustworthiness
    • Conscientiousness
    • Adaptability
    • Innovation
  • Motivation
    • Achievement drive
    • Commitment
    • Initiative
    • Optimism
  • Empathy
    • Understanding others
    • Developing others
    • Service orientation
    • Leveraging diversity
    • Political awareness
  • Social Skills
    • Influence
    • Communication
    • Conflict management
    • Leadership
    • Change catalyst
    • Building bonds
    • Collaboration and cooperation
    • Team capabilities
Based on ‘Working with Emotional Intelligence’ Daniel Goleman.

Personal Skills or Competences

There are three areas of personal skills or competences in emotional intelligence.

1. Self-awareness

Self-awareness encompasses:

  • Emotional awareness
  • Accurate self-assessment
  • Self-confidence

Self-awareness is the skill of being aware of and understanding your emotions as they occur and as they evolve. It is wrong to think of emotions as either positive or negative. Instead, you should think of them as appropriate or inappropriate.

For example, anger is usually associated with being a negative emotion.  However, it can be a completely reasonable and appropriate emotion in certain circumstances – emotional intelligence allows us to recognise our anger and understand why this emotion has occurred.

Effective self-assessment of feelings and emotions will help to improve your confidence and self-esteem.

See our pages on Self-Awareness and Confidence for more.

2. Self-regulation or Self-management

Self-regulation includes:

  • Self-control
  • Trustworthiness
  • Conscientiousness
  • Adaptability
  • Innovation

Having learned to be aware of your emotions, the skill of self-regulation relates to managing them appropriately and proportionately.

Self-management skills relate to the emotions you are feeling at any given time or in any given circumstance and how well you manage them. Self-control is a fundamental part of this, but other aspects relate to what you then do: whether you behave in a way which is recognised as ‘good’ or ‘virtuous’ or not.

See our page on Self-Regulation for more.


The final personal skills aspect of emotional intelligence is Motivation.

Self-motivation includes our personal drive to improve and achieve, commitment to our goals, initiative, or readiness to act on opportunities, and optimism and resilience.

Self-motivation and personal time management are key skills in this area.  Do not make unreasonable demands on yourself, learn to be assertive rather than just saying, ‘Yes’ to the demands of others.

See our pages on Self-Motivation and Time Management for guidance and best practice.

Social or Interpersonal Skills or Competences

Interpersonal skills are the skills we use to interact with other people. They enable us to communicate appropriately and build stronger, more meaningful relationships. Emotional intelligence includes how we understand others and their emotions, and our actions and behaviours towards them.

There are two key aspects.

1. Empathy

Empathy is an awareness of the needs and feelings of others both individually and in groups, and being able to see things from the point of view of others.

Empathy helps us to develop a stronger understanding of other people’s situations.

It includes understanding others, developing others, having a service orientation, leveraging diversity, and political awareness.

Empathy can often be difficult to achieve. Learn to listen effectively to both the verbal and non-verbal messages of others, including body movements, gestures and physical signs of emotion.  Use questions to find out more about other people and what they are feeling, and feedback to clarify that you have correctly understood their feelings. Acknowledge and respect the feelings of others even if you disagree, and avoid making comments or statements that are judgemental, belittling, rejecting or undermining.

See our page on Empathy for more.

2. Social Skills

Social skills encompasses a wide range of relationship and interpersonal skills. These range from leadership through to influencing and persuading, and managing conflict, as well as working in a team.

The term ‘social skills’ covers a wide variety of skills and competencies, many of which are rooted in self-esteem and personal confidence.   By developing your social skills, being easy to talk to, being a good listener, being sharing and trustworthy, you also become more charismatic and attractive to others.

This in turn improves self-esteem and confidence which makes it easier for positive personal dialogue and a greater understanding and acceptance of your own emotions.

See our page on Social Skills in Emotional Intelligence for more.

Further Reading from Skills You Need

Understanding and Developing Emotional Intelligence

Learn more about emotional intelligence and how to effectively manage personal relationships at home, at work and socially.

Our eBooks are ideal for anyone who wants to learn about or develop their interpersonal skills and are full of easy-to-follow, practical information.

In Summary

Working on your emotional intelligence could well be the most important aspect of your personal development.

Research has shown that people with higher levels of emotional intelligence enjoy more satisfying and successful careers and relationships. 

If you think about ways to enhance your emotional intelligence, you are likely to become more charismatic, interesting and attractive to others, and you will also give your self-esteem a boost.

Emotional Intelligence: Self Motivation - Alan Mallory

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When we think about emotional intelligence, we recognize that it’s a complex issue involving many internal and external factors that impact our thoughts, emotions and behaviours. One of the key components of emotional intelligence that sometimes gets overlooked is self-motivation which, in turn, is key to our ability to motivate others.

Self-motivation isn’t just our ability to get out of bed each day, tidy our homes, or show up to work. It involves our personal reasons for doing something; it’s a combination of our drive, initiative, commitment, optimism, and persistence to accomplish something beyond money or recognition. In mountaineering, for example, someone may be initially motivated simply for the recognition or “bragging rights” of having accomplished such a difficult feat, but that level of motivation wouldn’t last long once the reality of the task sets in. There has to be a deeper meaning involved, and a commitment to yourself and others on your journey that make it all worthwhile. This is where the emotional intelligence piece fits in. Although there are certainly people who are highly motivated, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are able to exhibit or understand the other components of emotional intelligence such as empathy and self-awareness. These people are usually not driven to accomplish things for reasons other than personal or financial gain.

Where does motivation come from?

Motivating yourself and others to act starts with being clear on what you want to achieve. It doesn’t have to be a major life-altering goal. Anything we aspire to, whether it’s for health, relationship, career, or adventure-related goals, it doesn’t matter – as long as we are clear about what it means for us and those around us, and what we hope the end result will be. This way, we’ll focus on the benefits and results we envision, rather than the barriers and insecurities that are holding us back. It’s also important to anticipate the occasional setback and recognize that any goals worth reaching are going to have complications along the way. As I shared in an earlier blog, our ability to manage change and be flexible is critical to achieving success. However, we shouldn’t focus solely on the final outcome, as that could lead us to think that our goal is too far away, or too massive a task. That’s why setting milestones along the way and reaching for those smaller goals helps keep motivation levels up. Sometimes we will encounter setbacks, but being prepared, flexible, and adaptive will help us overcome these obstacles and stay on track.

Commitment is key

A fundamental part of motivation is being firm in our commitments. When we make commitments to ourselves and/or others and end up breaking them, we send a message that we are unreliable and lack perseverance. Sure, breaking a plan or activity on occasion for a legitimately good reason is certainly understandable, but getting back up on our feet and resuming where we left off is what sets us apart from the rest. Backing out of commitments will suppress our ability to achieve our goals and can also reduce our credibility and distance us from our allies and supporters.

Motivating others

When we talk about motivation within the realm of emotional intelligence, we should also think about how we motivate others. Are we kind, supportive and optimistic, or do we use bribery, ultimatums, put-downs, or even fear tactics? Having integrity, being optimistic and sharing our optimism with others helps us to be strong motivators. When we tell ourselves “I’ve got this, I can do this!”, we often see amazing results. The same goes for sharing that positive energy with others; it’s an amazing motivator! We can also remind others of those times when they were super motivated and how wonderfully that all turned out. Modeling strong behaviours and having good communication skills also helps us to inspire others. The adage “Actions speak louder than words” is particularly meaningful when it comes to motivating others. Some of us can relate to that certain friend or relative who always has lots of advice to dole out on any variety of experiences, but they themselves are the opposite of a “poster child” for that topic.  You know…the “Do as I say, not as I do” type of mentality that no one really takes notice of. That’s why we inspire others by leading and living as an example and sharing encouragement.

The last word on motivation

We all strive to make the most out of our lives, and it’s normal for us to have motivational levels that vary, depending on our current situation. It would be exhausting if every bit of our energy was focused on being highly motivated in all areas of our life. We should stop and examine why we are working towards a goal, and whom or what does it benefit? We also need to be transparent and maintain integrity in all that we do, and help others recognize that as well. Take some time to think about your personal views on motivation, and explore the many things, both internal and external, that motivate you.

Will it be easy? Nope. Will it be worth it? Absolutely! – Anonymous

Alan is an international speaker, author and performance coach who is passionate about leadership and reaching new heights in all that we do! His unique philosophy of life revolves around empowering people and embracing an agile mentality focused on goals and results. By understanding what drives and motivates us, we are able to cultivate more innovative and effective ways of thinking and taking action. Alan holds a degree in engineering from Queen’s University and a masters in psychology from Adler University, giving him a well-balanced approach to the outer and inner challenges we all face. Alan has worked internationally with large organizations as a professional engineer and project manager developing patents and solutions to complex challenges in the mining and metals industry. Living and working abroad has given him the opportunity to deepen his understanding of individual and team challenges, better appreciate cultural diversity and successfully adapt to different organizational structures. Building experience through a lifestyle of adventure and challenge, in the spring of 2008 Alan embarked on the journey of a lifetime and set a world record on Mount Everest along with three members of his immediate family. It was a two-month expedition through some of the most exciting yet terrifying conditions imaginable and their success demanded an unwavering perseverance and resilience in the face of adversity. Alan delivers a number of exciting presentations and training programs designed to help individuals, team members and organizations reach new heights in the way we think and the actions we take in order to achieve breakthrough performance.

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What is Emotional Intelligence - Timeweb Community Knowledge Base

We talk about what emotional intelligence is, why it is so important to improve it and how you can apply it in life.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to perceive, control and critically evaluate emotions. Both your own and the emotions of others. Some people think that this is a unique innate skill, others say that emotional intelligence can be developed. nine0003

The ability to monitor your emotions and manage them is an important skill both in everyday life and in your career. Also in the work environment, the ability to read other people's emotions and respond appropriately to them is highly valued. All this is closely related to emotional intelligence and helps people build more successful careers (and lives).

Why is emotional intelligence so important?

Because EQ is used in different areas of life. Increased emotional intelligence can affect a person's success in learning and at work. It allows you to show leadership qualities, find contact with different people and lead them along. And also to convince them that you are right. nine0003

A stable development of emotional intelligence has a positive effect on physical health. It helps to work through stressful situations and reduce their impact on the body.

Also, uncontrolled emotions can lead to the manifestation of psychological diseases. Most often, improper work with your feelings leads to anxiety and depression. Developed EQ helps to avoid such consequences.

Having a developed emotional intelligence makes it easier to understand other people, perceive their emotions, express sympathy, choose the right words, etc. Together, this helps to build closer and more reliable relationships with colleagues and loved ones. nine0003

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Components of emotional intelligence

EQ is an entity consisting of several separate skills. They are interrelated but develop separately. They can also be present in one person, but in different proportions.

The task of man is to analyze each component and regularly subject it to critical evaluation.

Communication skills

As I said above, emotional intelligence helps to establish and maintain contacts. This is especially important in professional activities when creating new business relationships, communicating with partners, etc.

Developed communication skills also help build more productive relationships between employees in the same office. They can ask for help and verbally resolve any conflicts.

A high-EQ boss can raise serious issues and encourage team discussions to achieve positive outcomes from those discussions (eg, a decision on an issue of concern to the entire office). nine0003


This entity is closely related to EQ and is often included by experts in emotional intelligence. Motivation means the ability to set goals and achieve them.

Due to motivation, the desire to perform certain tasks is formed. A good motivator can motivate a whole group of people to complete even extremely difficult tasks.

Motivation also makes it possible to better cope with failures, assess the situation and return to work. nine0003


The most important part of developed emotional intelligence is the ability to read other people's emotions and plan your actions based on how other people feel. The correct interpretation of emotions makes it possible to choose the most appropriate time for making difficult decisions. Employees with developed empathy are able to anticipate the reaction of others and avoid possible problems and conflicts.

Concern about other people's thoughts and feelings in a team creates a healthier and more humane atmosphere in it. In today's society, as cliched as it may sound, this approach helps increase productivity, reduce overall levels of stress and anxiety, and reduce turnover by providing a comfortable work environment for everyone. nine0003

Social responsibility

This skill enables a person to recognize himself as part of a team and learn how to work with other people. This type of responsibility obliges a person to be responsible for the decisions made and the overall result of the work. An important skill for those who plan to take a leadership position.

Feeling responsible for the outcome of the activity, each employee will try to do his best so that the team does not “fail”. There will be no anchor employees who think that everything will be decided for them. nine0003

The ability to control and level conflicts

Another aspect of emotional intelligence that is highly valued in the professional environment. The ability not only to smooth out conflicts, but to resolve them, clearly realizing the causes and consequences.

Teams consisting of such workers show high efficiency in even the most difficult situations. Productivity increases, any destructiveness is transformed into constructiveness. Conflicts are perceived as a way to recognize mistakes and become better. nine0003

How to use EQ?

It can be used in a variety of life situations.

  • Learn to accept criticism so as not to get into conflicts.

  • Learn to deal with mistakes and keep moving forward.

  • Be able to say "no" when the situation requires it. In everyday life and at work.

  • Correctly share your emotions with other people, without inventing anything and without deceiving others. nine0003

  • Know exactly what you are doing and why you are doing it. That is, to properly manage the goal-setting.

  • Be able to correctly assess the actions of other people and not judge them excessively.

How is EQ measured?

Usually, not a common metric is used, but several different ones, depending on the specific EQ component.

  • There is a test for assessing communication skills from Ilyin. nine0003

  • Michelson's Communication Skills Test.

  • Test for assessing the level of motivation from Ehlers.

  • Test for the degree of motivation and fear of failure from Rvan.

  • Mehrabian's empathy rating system.

  • Test of human empathic abilities from Boyko. nine0003

  • Ilyin has a test for the degree of conflict of an individual and a test for checking the level of personal aggression.

How to develop emotional intelligence?

Special literature required. Read books on improving communication skills, books on empathy, etc. Interact with people more often and be accountable for your actions.

There are some simple strategies to improve EQ. It is necessary to pay attention to only three main actions. nine0003

Learn to listen

To understand other people's feelings, it is important to learn to pay enough attention to them. Spend your precious time with the other person and try to understand what he wants to convey to you. And pay attention not only to verbal signs, but also to non-verbal ones.

Body language is an important metric for evaluating a person's behavior, his intentions, desires, etc. People with developed emotional intelligence can read this language correctly and understand other people better. nine0003

Develop empathy

Understanding other people's feelings is a critical skill in business, but just as important in everyday life. The ability to feel yourself in someone else's shoes allows you to objectively evaluate the actions, words and decisions of other people.

Only with a sufficient level of empathy can one correctly assess the intentions of other people. And knowing this information, you can adjust your behavior so that each communication ends in success. For example, do not mess with a person who is clearly not in a good mood, or stop talking if the interlocutor feels uncomfortable. nine0003

Reflect on your own emotions

This skill will help you not go crazy. You need to live in harmony with your feelings. Track the moments when emotions take over and force you to make decisions that were not clearly analyzed before.

To the extent of control, to the extent of analysis. Do not try to suppress everything, but learn to manage it. Here is your task as you develop EQ.

It is also important to understand why certain feelings force people to make decisions. This will not only allow you to get along better with colleagues and loved ones, but also to anticipate some of their decisions, coupled with habits. nine0003

Potential difficulties for people with high EQ

To be fair, the possible disadvantages of heightened emotional intelligence also need to be mentioned. Balance is required everywhere, and too much EQ can be just as dangerous as too little.

  • Scientists have confirmed that people with high EQ are often characterized by low creativity, do not generate innovative ideas.

  • People with a high level of empathy do not know how to express criticism, which makes life difficult for themselves, completely ignoring the shortcomings of other people because of their fears. nine0003

  • Well, the most significant thing is that people with high EQ are often used for their own purposes. In the course are manipulative schemes of interaction.

Instead of a conclusion

That's it. Develop your emotional intelligence. Its increase will bear fruit in all areas of life - from personal relationships to professional activities.

Emotional intelligence EQ emotions and motivation

What is emotional intelligence? nine0011

Emotional intelligence is the ability of a person to recognize emotions, understand the intentions, motivations and desires of other people and their own, as well as the ability to manage their own emotions and the emotions of other people in order to solve practical problems.

Undoubtedly, competencies and behaviors are necessary for maximum performance, but they are not sufficient. Self-awareness, self-control, motivation and empathy are the keys to long-term success. In a business environment, EQ plays an exceptional role: whether you consciously or unconsciously show emotions, they affect relationships with colleagues, motivation, and most importantly, the decision-making process. Research shows that successful leaders and top performers have high EQ levels. Therefore, many business schools include emotional intelligence training in their curriculum. However, they often focus on working with theory, while training should be aimed specifically at developing weaknesses. nine0003

Emotional intelligence answers the question: DO WE ACT WISELY?

It is believed that emotional intelligence (EQ) is more important for success than intelligence quotient (IQ), i.e. compared to those who studied well and know a lot. Although there are several EQ models, they all converge on 4 key points. People with highly developed emotional intelligence are more:

  • aware of their own emotional state and the level of stress they are in. nine0076
  • Aware of the emotional state of people around them and their level of stress.
  • Take action to consciously cope with their own emotions.
  • Take action to cope with the emotional state of others.

Research shows that people who develop and apply high emotional intelligence tend to be in better mental and physical health, more productive, have more valuable connections, and are more "lucky." nine0003

How is the EQ diagnosis done at the Business Excellence Association?

Work on emotional intelligence begins with a diagnosis. After passing the online test, your answers are analyzed and you receive an EQ result. At any level, reporting on your EQ will help you understand your own emotional intelligence and avoid making impulsive decisions without realizing that it is emotions that influence your choices.

The 13-page EQ Report is business-friendly and simple enough to be understood and benefited by ordinary business people. Describes the five key factors of the Emotional Intelligence Model:

  • Self-awareness — how actively a person is asked by studying his own emotional state.
  • Self-regulation — how actively a person consciously carries out positive self-adjustment.
  • Motivation - how actively a person uses his emotional energy to achieve his goals.
  • Empathy - how actively a person asks about the emotional state of others. nine0076
  • Communication skills - how actively a person manages the emotional state of others.

The next stage is an individual coaching session. Together with a professional, you will find your weaknesses and build a development plan, learn to develop your intrapersonal and interpersonal emotional intelligence and effectively apply this knowledge both in business and in life, that is, it is practical work with yourself that takes place. Thus, you gain a significant competitive advantage in today's dynamic world. nine0003

Diagnostic time: 30 minutes.
Duration of the coaching session: 1 hour

Badaeva Svetlana held another webinar on the topic "Emotional Intelligence". At the webinar, Svetlana introduced the participants to the method of diagnosing the level of Emotional Intelligence and showed how to develop it and use it effectively in life and business.

Watch the recording of the webinar here:

Testing cost for 1 person: 5 500 rubles

Cost of testing + coaching session: RUB 10,500

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