Most important part of a relationship

Making It Work- 7 Things That Are More Important Than Love in Relationships

March 11, 2019

Our relationships are some of the most challenging and rewarding aspects of life. Finding someone you want to share your life with is a beautiful thing. Falling in love feels magical.

In fact, falling in love has real health benefits and has an impact on our bodies and our minds. Around 87% of Americans believe in true love, which is promising!

But contrary to popular belief, love is not all you need. Relationships take a lot more than love to keep them going and love alone won’t keep a couple together.

Successful relationships take a lot of work to keep both people happy and healthy. Read on for 7 things more important than love that you need to know to make your relationship work.

1. Trust

One of the most important parts of a relationship is to trust one another completely. You have to be able to trust that they won’t stray and you trust them with your feelings.

You have to trust each other enough to be vulnerable on an emotional and physical level, too. A trusting relationship isn’t built overnight though, it takes time to grow.

If you’re at the beginning of a relationship and the trust isn’t all there, give it time to grow. But if you’re in a long-term relationship and still don’t trust your partner, it’s not a good sign.

2. Vulnerability

Speaking of vulnerability, that’s the next one on this list. Vulnerability is important in a relationship and it’s beautiful with the right partner.

Opening up to your partner without fear of judgment is amazing. They get to know you better and it can strengthen your relationship. If you don’t allow vulnerability, your relationship will suffer.

Your partner may feel that you don’t trust them enough to let them in. They may feel shut out and that can be hurtful if they’re vulnerable with you.

Don’t bottle it up. Open up and let vulnerability transform your relationship!

3.

Communication

Communication, communication, communication. This is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, but so many couples struggle with it.

There are many things in a relationship you can solve with effective communication. You need it to set boundaries, to solve problems, express feelings, and more.

There are some aspects of a relationship that some people can find hard to talk about, like sex for example. But proper communication allows you to identify problems and come up with solutions.

4. Honesty

In a similar vein to trust, honesty is a huge factor in any relationship. Telling lies or hiding the truth from your partner can destroy your relationship.

If there isn’t honesty in a relationship, it’s pretty much doomed. If there are a lot of little lies or a huge secret in the way, the truth will come out in the end. It will hurt your partner and it could end the relationship.

Whatever it may be, you have to respect your partner enough to be honest with them. From there, you can work on the relationship, but lies won’t solve anything.

5. Loyalty

A huge pillar of a successful relationship is having loyalty to your partner. You need to be loyal to them and only them as your romantic partner. Unless you’ve both agreed and set boundaries to an open relationship, it’s non-negotiable.

If you can’t stay loyal and faithful to your partner, then ask yourself why you’re with them. Your commitment is paramount and you could cause a lot of pain to them if you’re unfaithful.

If you can’t be loyal to your partner, it’s kinder to end the relationship instead of hurting them further.

6. Respect

Respect is a huge part of any relationship. You need to have the utmost respect for your partner and yourself.

If you’re in a relationship where you feel put down or degraded, your partner doesn’t respect you. You also need to respect yourself enough to leave such a situation.

Both parties need to respect each other’s feelings and boundaries. You need to value and take care of each other in every way you can.

When you respect and love one another, you’ll have a beautiful relationship. This foundation of trust and security is essential and will lead to wonderful things.

7. Affection

At the start of a relationship, you’re all loved up and can’t take your hands off each other. But as time goes on, the affection can dwindle and it’s important to get it back.

It’s the little things like hand holding or random kisses throughout the day. These little actions show your partner that you love and care about them and it means a great deal.

Everyone is affectionate in their own way, so take time to learn each others’ love languages. When you find ways to show each other affection, it shows how much you mean to them and vice versa.

Feeling unappreciated can damage your relationship. Learn how to communicate about bringing affection back and it can make a huge difference.

These Are the Keys to Successful Relationships

Relationships aren’t always easy and to keep them going both partners need to work hard. Love is a huge staple of a relationship but it’s not always enough to keep it strong.

When you look at all the successful relationships in your life and other couples’, you’ll see these 7 things are in each of them. Some of these are harder to work at than others. This is when couples therapy can make a huge difference.

Learn How to Improve Your Relationship!

www.ourrelationship.com

15 Things That Are Most Important In a Relationship

Commitment and conscious effort from both partners are a must for a relationship to thrive.

Image: iStock

Have you ever wondered what the most important thing in a relationship is? Is it love, respect, or something else? Most of the time, we think that when two people are in love, that is good enough to make the relationship work, but that is not the case.

With only love, the relationship will start to wither even with the smallest of troubles. A few other essential things are required in a relationship to work out successfully. To know more about these, look at our list of vital elements in a relationship that can make your relationship successful.

1. Trust

If love is what makes a relationship exciting, trust is what keeps it going strong. When there is trust, peace prevails in the relationship. But if the partners do not trust each other enough, they spend their whole life doubting the other’s every action. No one deserves a love that needs them to keep tabs or constantly worry about what the partner might be doing behind their back.

Trust cannot be gained overnight. It is a goal and will get better with time. When you have nothing to hide from your partner, your partner has no reason to doubt whenever you are with others.

2. Loyalty

When you and your partner have agreed on a monogamous relationship, then loyalty becomes a key aspect. But what is loyalty?

It is the resistance to unhealthy thoughts about a beautiful colleague; it is refusing to flirt back with an old flame. Love with loyalty is probably more important than just love. So when your partner cannot stay loyal but says ‘I love you,’ will you be able to believe those words?

Probably not. Love, combined with loyalty, is pure and long-lasting. Your partner may not be as attractive as your colleague, or as soft-spoken as your old flame, but you chose them each time. And when you are loyal to the one you love, that is one thing you would not change for the rest of your life.

3. Happiness

Image: iStock

You may not always be happy in a relationship, but when you look back, the happy times must outweigh the sad ones. Happiness is an essential ingredient for a lasting relationship, so how do you be happy? Is it your partner’s job? No! Your happiness should be in your hands; you cannot expect your partner to be the keeper of your happiness.

The health of the relationship depends on both partners. If you are happy and content with yourself, you will be able to enjoy being in a relationship. Also, you can bring in positive vibes into the relationship. So, always make yourself a priority and do things which can make you happy. This will surely resonate into your relationship.

4. Respect

Respect is as important as love in a relationship. When you truly love someone, you love them for who they are. And such love automatically brings in respect for your partner. Also, a relationship is a bond between two adults with different opinions and views. Respecting each other is the basic foundation you need for a healthy relationship.

Appreciating your partner for who they are, choosing words carefully, maintaining boundaries, and refraining from doing things that can hurt your partner is how you show respect.

5. Emotional support

A relationship can take you on a roller coaster of emotions. But what makes it worthy is having your partner right next to you, holding your hand, through all that. In a loving relationship, you’d want that. When you hear happy news, you long to share it with your partner. And when you are feeling down and depressed, you’d want your partner to hold you and tell you that it’ll be okay.

Partners who are there for each other emotionally stick together as a team, dealing with whatever life throws at them. They create a safe place in their relationship where one partner can be vulnerable without the fear of being judged by the other. And when necessary, they are always there to lend a shoulder to cry on for the partner.

6. Humor

Image: Shutterstock

Everyday life can get your relationship in a slump, so a little fun and excitement are vital to keeping things exciting. If you and your partner can laugh in the face of a problem, then dealing with it head-on is going to be less difficult.

Once in a while, ditch all your inhibitions, pack all your worries and have fun like kids. Do something silly, watch a comedy movie or go to a stand-up event. Humor is a way to keep things light, and those who can laugh together can live together in happiness. Laughter is one thing that can bring you and your partner closer to each other.

7. Compromise

When you love someone, you will not think twice before giving up something you like to make them happy. In a relationship, both the partners should give and take to keep the love alive. A healthy relationship is one where you do not mind letting go of some of needs to accommodate those of your partner.

But it must be mutual. If only one partner ends up compromising all the time, negativity could brew in the relationship and drift you apart.

8. Freedom/ independence

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself. Individual freedom is essential for the relationship to thrive. A healthy relationship will help you become the best version of yourself. It gives you the needed space to think and express your thoughts and take your decisions in life.

Although you can include your partner in your decisions, you don’t have to let them take them for you. Life won’t be the same when you are in a relationship, but you do not have to change who you are for your partner. Retain your unique personality to keep the relationship exciting.

9. Safety

Image: iStock

No amount of love can quantify abuse! If you cannot feel safe in your relationship, then no matter how much love you have, the relationship will not work. The feeling of being safe in your partner’s arms is vital in a relationship, as a committed relationship works on vows to protect and love each other forever.

Love is not always enough to stop the abuse, especially if it is one partner’s way of expressing love towards the other. No one deserves to live in a relationship where they constantly fear harm.

10. Friendship

This is probably the most underrated, yet one of the important things in a relationship. Blessed are those couples who can be partners as well as best friends. Friendship is said to be one of the characteristics of a happy and lasting marriage. When you are friends with your partner, you will have shared interests that enhance your time together.

Friendship also helps in building an emotional connection between people, who then feel safe enough to be more open with each other. It also is a faster way to get to know each other. When you can see a friend in your spouse, you will be able to treat each other equally.

11. Honesty

It feels good when your partner trusts you, right? Well then to establish trust in your relationship, all you have to do is be honest with your partner. White lies and deception can fetch you short-term happiness, but if you are looking for a lasting and strong relationship, then try to be honest with your partner. The truth could hurt your partner for a while, but dishonesty could break their trust and your relationship too.

No matter how hard it may get, try to always be honest in your relationship. If you do mess up, sincerely accept your mistake and apologize. Your partner might get mad, but they may appreciate your honesty.

12. Forgiveness

Image: iStock

If you are in a relationship, then the first and foremost fact to understand is that no one is perfect. You could have a foot-long list of ideal partner qualities, but at the end of the day, we are all humans and make mistakes. You need to have the ability to forgive and forget (if the apology is sincere).

There could be unforgivable things (cheating) in a relationship, which you might not wish to forget. But there could be a few genuine mistakes that your partner regrets making, and needs you to forgive and forget.

13. Communication

If there is one thing that can make all the above things possible in a relationship, it is communication. The ability to talk in a language that your partner understands is golden. Be it happiness, anger, or grief, the right words can carry your intentions straight to your partner’s heart. Not being able to speak your heart or share your thoughts openly can be a killer in a relationship.

When communication goes wrong, everything tumbles because suppressing your desires, thoughts, and dreams can lead to regret and remorse that could eventually end the relationship.

14. Quality time

How does a couple move on from being strangers to being inseparable? Well, the answer is simple: they make their relationship a priority and spend quality time together. When you spend time with each other, you can know your partner better and understand who they are.

Quality time together will also improve your communication, thus helping in building trust and friendship between the couple. Be it going to a movie or walking in the park, spend some time with your significant other. It will do good to your relationship.

15. Random Acts Of Kindness

Image: Shutterstock

The small things you do for your partner may seem insignificant but will stay in your partner’s heart forever. Your partner will never forget how you made them a cup of coffee when they were burning the midnight oil to work on an important presentation, or how you always ask them about their day or tell that you love them even when you’re in a rush to get to work.

It is through these little things that your partner knows you are there for them. And they will definitely reciprocate your kind gestures, which are essential to building a strong relationship.

Kindness does not mean you give a blind eye to your partner’s mistakes, but it means you love them so much that you are willing to go the extra mile for a smile on their face. Both you and your partner must be willing to take care of each other’s needs without complaining.

It may not be possible to pinpoint the most important thing in a relationship since a multitude of emotions and responsibilities work together to form a stable and healthy bond. A relationship requires transparent communication, understanding, trust, love, and care to last long and strong. You may face a series of challenges or rifts, but you need to realize your love for each other and go through those tough times with mutual efforts. Remember, a relationship requires not one but many things to keep it sailing. So work on those if you seem to be lacking and strengthen your bond with each other.

Key Pointers

Love is surely the most important thing for any relationship but is not enough to make it work for long.
A long-lasting, stable relationship is based on several factors, including trust, loyalty, respect, among others.
There are many more crucial factors that play a key role to play in building a strong and beautiful relationship.

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Sanjana did her graduation in Pharmacy from Andhra University and post graduation in management from GITAM Institute of Management. It was during her first job, she recognized her skills in writing and began working as a freelance writer. Later, she completely moved into content writing and began working as a full-time content writer. Sanjana's articles in MomJunction cover topics related to...
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Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-Goyena is a board licensed therapist in the USA and Puerto Rico with a specialty in couples, families, and relationships. Dr. Carlos possesses a PhD in Counseling Psychology granted at the Interamerican University of Puerto Rico. His two-decade professional experience also includes scientific research in family emotional and relational processes and its effect on psychological functioning. Dr....
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The most important thing in a relationship that many people don't think about

September 24, 2020Relationships

No one is obligated to make you happy. You are the key to your own happiness.

What is the secret of a harmonious relationship

If you ask people what is the most important thing in a relationship, you will get a lot of answers. Among them will be trust, respect, communication and so on. Blogger Chris Gage believes that one factor unites these criteria - emotional self-sufficiency. Without it, it is impossible to build constructive relationships.

Chris Gage

blogger

Emotional stability is number one on my list and one of the three things I definitely need in a partner. Being emotionally stable is the sexiest thing you can do.

The author of The Subtle Art of Giving a Fuck Mark Manson says that people who have this quality are good at dealing with insecurities, and also see their own shortcomings and are able to take responsibility for them. Writer and blogger Leo Babauta also uses the term “emotional independence” to describe the phenomenon.

Leo Babauta

writer, blogger

We look for happiness in others, but this is not a reliable source. And here's why: It's not the job of others to satisfy our emotional needs.

Blogger Zayed Dahaj describes emotional self-sufficiency as a relationship with oneself: "If you don't love yourself and are unable to provide for your own needs, it will be difficult for you to do the same for others. " And by "active provision of needs" does not mean asking people to do it for you. It's about self-employment.

Contrary to popular clichés, healthy relationships do not have the task of completing us, they do not start from a void. They need to be built with a whole person. And then trust, respect, communication will come easily and organically.

How to pump emotional stability

Here's where to start:

Look into yourself. Put away gadgets and other distractions. Turn to thoughts, trace where they come from.
Start solving your problems. If you are bored, find a way to entertain yourself, if it hurts and is lonely - to console.
Take responsibility. We control only ourselves and cannot influence other people or the environment. Determine what you can realistically change and focus on that.

What do you consider the main thing in a relationship? Share in the comments.

9 components of lasting love

Everyone in this world is waiting for love. And, having waited, they dream that it would be endless. But, alas, almost half of the families break up, about which humanity has been sighing for more than a century. Scientists have recently taken up this issue. And finally determined.

9 components of lasting love

1. Magnets have nothing to do with it

The opinion that opposites converge is in accordance with the nature of magnets, but this is not the basis of lasting love. On the contrary, common interests, attitudes, values, religion, a similar level of intelligence, ethnic affinity, similar habits are perhaps the most important component of long-term relationships between people.

2. Oh, how I like you!

A lover who is also a friend is the guarantee of our self-respect. The best
indicator of how capable a man and a woman are of sincere friendship in a
family is the fact that they simply have friends of the opposite sex.

3. Intimacy is the essence of love

Emotional intimacy is almost equally necessary for the happiness of a
man and a woman. But if she just gives a woman a feeling of joy, for a man
is the basis of self-confidence. The most reliable way to the closeness of two
consciousnesses is a good conversation. Couples who can freely discuss everything that is important to them
(including their own relationships) are
happier and more likely to fall in love than less talkative lovers.
An argument is fruitful when one can quite calmly explain to another what exactly
has gone crazy about, and the other listens to it - with respect and attention. Often mutual understanding is achieved if one repeats in his own words everything that the other expresses.

4. Effort of love

Your devotion to him and his to you is what gives you a sense of security in this life.
Maintaining such a state is the basis of the well-being of the family. And the energy for this
takes no less than for raising children and promotion.

5. A little tolerance

At the beginning of the novel, other people's habits seem unimportant or cute, but after some
time, his snoring or her habit of not closing the curtains becomes annoying. In 90,060 most happy families, spouses manage to achieve tolerance for
to the shortcomings and weaknesses of the other.

6. About the properties of passion

The peak of passion passes after a maximum of two years of married life. But some
lucky ones will continue to get a lot of joy from sex. The intensity of passion -
is not the most basic condition for a lasting union: the main thing is that sex does not lose its
attractiveness. The longer intimate relationships last, the stronger and more comprehensive sensations they bring.

7. Love respects equality

Partners must give and receive equally. At the same time, the needs of
and the desires of both partners should be equally important.

Learn more