Marriage meeting agenda


The Power of a Weekly Marriage Meeting

With our archives now 3,500+ articles deep, we’ve decided to republish a classic piece each Sunday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in June 2016.

Six years later, we’re still doing weekly marriage meetings ourselves, and still finding them greatly beneficial. And when it comes to readers saying, “I tried the advice in X article and had success with it,” we probably get more feedback of that kind about this post than any other. 

The institution of marriage arguably carries a heavier weight of pressures and expectations in the present age than it has in any time previous. Spouses don’t just partner up for purely economic and procreative purposes — they expect to be romantic lovers, best friends, co-parents, and sometimes even business partners.

Balancing all of those roles might seem like a burden, and it certainly can be. Husbands and wives may both be working — and not just one job, but several. There are kids to raise and schedules to juggle. Family members can end up feeling like ships passing in the night.

But modern marriage is also an incredible opportunity — one that, if managed right, can be an unending source of joy and satisfaction. It’s you and her, against the world, building your world.

But if you want to plan and tackle life’s greatest adventures side-by-side, you’ve got to stay in-sync and work effectively as a team. As marriage therapist Marcia N. Berger puts it:

the art of marriage is really the art of keeping up to date with your partner, of staying on track with your own and each other’s life goals as they emerge, exist, and change. It is about supporting each other and staying connected emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually.

So how do you stay connected on all those levels?

Enter the weekly marriage meeting.

Berger suggests holding a short weekly meeting with your spouse that’s broken into four parts: Appreciation (expressing gratitude to your spouse), Chores (making sure to-dos are getting done), Plan for Good Times (scheduling date nights, as well as individual and family activities), and Problems/Challenges (addressing conflicts/issues/changes in the relationship and in life in general).

The structure of the marriage meeting is designed to rekindle your romance, solidify your friendship, nip potential conflicts in the bud, and help you smoothly run your household economy. If you’ve already got a great marriage, then marriage meetings will enhance it. If your marriage has been struggling, the meetings can help you get your relationship back on track.

We’ve recently started making marriage meetings a habit, have found them to be really beneficial, and would recommend them to others. So today we’ll walk you through the four parts of marriage meetings, as well as the nuts and bolts of how to implement them in your relationship.

The Benefits of Marriage Meetings

You may be wondering what the point is of holding an “official” weekly marriage meeting. If you and your wife talk about things like chores and activities in passing, then why sit down for a discussion during a dedicated time?

The answer is that you’ll go deeper on the things you’re already talking about superficially in snatches. You’ll also open up on things you keep meaning to mention, but haven’t — either because you keep forgetting or because you’ve felt uncomfortable and it never seems like the right time to talk about it.

Marriage meetings offload concerns and ideas that are crouching on your mental bandwidth and bring closure to loose ends. They ensure you’re on the same page about everything that’s going on internally and externally, and contribute to a home and family life that’s more orderly and harmonious. And they don’t just reconnect you as a couple during that time; in smoothing out snarls, encouraging appreciation, and laying plans for fun, they create the conditions for greater connection the rest of the time as well.

Consider marriage meetings as a weekly fueling stop — periodic maintenance for your relationship. You can only get so far off track in seven days! Checking in each week thus ensures your relationship is always headed in the right direction.

The device might seem contrived, but if we’ve learned anything in life, it’s that nothing happens haphazardly. If you want a satisfying, fun-filled, long-lasting marriage, you’ve got to be intentional about it. And marriage meetings are a key way of doing that.

How to Execute a Marriage Meeting

The following are some of the guidelines Berger suggests for implementing and carrying out a marriage meeting: 

  • Meet weekly. Doing the meeting at the same time each week can help make it a habit, but schedules change, and it’s fine to adjust the time as circumstances dictate.
  • Meet as just the two of you. This is a private meeting. No kids. If you’re already doing a weekly family meeting, that’s great; one does not supplant the other, but rather complements it. Meeting as husband and wife will ensure you’re on the same page when holding council with your kids.
  • Minimize distractions/interruptions. The best place to do a meeting is a comfortable, quiet spot in your home. Schedule a time when the kids are napping or doing screen time during the day, or after they go to bed at night (though it’s best not to do it when you’re tired). Turn off the TV and your phones if you can. If you need your phone for scheduling, exercise self-control in not looking at distracting apps.
  • Sit together. Berger advises against sitting across a table from each other, as that can feel confrontational, and recommends sitting side-by-side instead. However you position yourselves, she suggests sitting “close enough to feel like partners handling a project together.”
  • Jot down notes during the week. It’s useful to jot down notes in the days leading up to meeting on things you’d like to talk about. But you don’t need to have a set agenda at the meeting, unless you’re the uber-organized type. It can be free-flowing.
  • Bring your organizational devices/notebooks/apps to the meeting. You’re going to be scheduling stuff and will want to write down dates and to-dos. So bring your paper or digital planner, or use other apps to keep track of these. We use Todoist for both our business and personal to-dos, as well as Google calendar.
  • Keep the meeting to about 20-30 minutes. 20-30 minutes is long enough to cover the four stages of the meeting, but short enough to keep it focused and productive. The meeting might be a little on the longer side when you first start out and are getting the hang of it, or when you have more than usual to discuss; they’ll become shorter as you get consistent and more efficient at the habit. [Update: Our meetings only take 15 minutes these days.] Try to generally err on the side of shorter over longer, so it doesn’t feel like a drag. 
  • Cultivate a positive atmosphere. Each spouse is responsible for coming to the meeting in a good mood and with an upbeat, patient, positive attitude. Each spouse should try to use a supportive tone throughout the meeting and abstain from any griping or criticism. (Constructively working on issues is okay — but not snark or empty complaining.) “A good goal for each meeting,” Berger says, “is that it should inspire you to want to meet again a week later.
  • Allow both partners to feel ownership in the meeting. The more verbal partner should allow the less verbal partner to speak first at times, and should actively solicit feedback, instead of dominating the meeting.

While some of these guidelines, like keeping a positive attitude, are essential for the success of your marriage meetings, others can be tweaked and experimented with. See what works for you as a couple.

The 4 Parts of a Marriage Meeting

Experimentation can continue with exactly how you run your marriage meetings, but we’d recommend keeping to the four parts Berger recommends, done in this order; as you’ll see, it’s been structured in a deliberate way.

Appreciation

Appreciation kicks off each marriage meeting, and it consists of a simple, and yet surprisingly encouraging exchange of gratitude. Each person says “everything you can think of that you specifically liked or admired about your partner during the past week.

Here are the guidelines for how the Appreciation part of a marriage meeting should work:

  • Plan ahead. If you’re someone who finds it hard to remember the things you’re grateful for, or to articulate them on the spot, take notes in a journal or app; when your spouse does something you appreciate, jot it down. Of course, you should thank them on the spot too; it’s fine to repeat things you’re grateful for at the meeting.
  • While one spouse speaks, the other listens. You’ll take turns expressing your gratitude, and while one spouse is speaking the other actively listens and does not interrupt.
  • Be specific. General compliments are fine sometimes, but you should typically try to get as specific as possible; sharing details shows you were paying attention. So “I appreciated the amazingly delicious pot roast and blueberry cobbler you made on Tuesday” rather than “I appreciate your cooking.”
  • Ask yourself “What else?” The goal here is to try to share everything you appreciated about your spouse the previous week. Once you’ve said a few things, ask yourself “What else?” to try to jog your memory and dislodge a few more compliments.
  • Keep it 100% positive. This is not the time for expressing complaints or disappointment. Avoid backhanded compliments — criticism in the guise of gratitude, e.g., “I appreciate that you actually washed the dishes last night for once instead of leaving them in the sink like you usually do.”
  • Touch on physical characteristics, behaviors, and character traits — big or small. Your appreciations can run the gamut — everything you like and admire about your spouse is on the table. Don’t take anything for granted — be grateful even for small stuff. Here are some examples to get your gears turning:
    • I appreciate how you never check your smartphone when you’re playing with the kids or talking to me.
    • You looked amazing in your blue dress at the party on Saturday night.
    • Thank you for sticking up for me when your mom tried to criticize my decision.
    • Thanks for taking the kids to the doctor this week.
    • I appreciate the conversation we had at dinner last night. Thanks for always reading interesting things and having interesting things to talk about.
    • Thanks for always greeting me with a kiss when I come home from work.
    • You’re such a good mom.
    • Thanks for letting me know you’d be coming home late on Tuesday.
    • I appreciate you watching the kids so I could go play basketball.
    • I appreciate you cleaning up the bedroom yesterday.
    • I appreciate the hot sex we had last night.
    • I appreciate you filling the car up with gas for me.
    • Thanks for complimenting my work in front of your family.

The Appreciation part of a marriage meeting has several benefits. The open expression of gratitude rekindles feelings of warmth and intimacy, and makes each partner feel, well, appreciated. And, through the power of positive reinforcement, in showing your spouse you notice the things they do, they’ll be more likely to do those things in the future. Paying more attention to the things you appreciate in your spouse will help you cultivate a more grateful mindset about life in general as well.

Starting with Appreciation also importantly sets a warm, positive, supportive vibe for the rest of the meeting.

Even if you’re awesome about expressing appreciation for each other on a regular, daily basis, this is still a beneficial exercise. We both really enjoy this portion of the marriage meeting; you end up thinking of things you forgot to show appreciation for during the week, and it’s just really unexpectedly affirming to be acknowledged for who you are and what you do.

Chores (Including To-Dos/Finances)

Berger calls Chores “the business part of the meeting. Each of you says what you think needs to be done. You agree on priorities, timelines, and who will do each task. Teamwork is promoted and jobs get handled.”

You don’t have to talk about chores for which you’ve already established a routine and division of duties that’s working well. Instead, discuss chores that aren’t getting done and are occasional rather than reoccurring.

Negotiate and brainstorm ways to get neglected chores done more effectively and consistently. One spouse can volunteer to take on a task, or you can decide to take turns, or delegate it to one of the children in the family or to outside help (like hiring a housekeeper).

Don’t demand that your spouse do a certain chore, but instead try to compromise. Don’t fall into the tit-for-tat trap either, where you insist on things being split evenly. Strive instead for a flexible, generous, reasonable give-and-take. One partner can do more chores if the other works more paid hours; it may not be equal, but it’s fair.

Really, you should ideally not think about the division of duties much at all; in the healthiest of relationships, partners often just see an undone chore and tackle it without asking whose job it is, without debate, and without having to exactly divvy up and assign tasks. You’re in this together, after all.

If that describes your relationship, then just use the Chores part of your marriage meeting to discuss other to-dos — things around the house that need to be fixed, appointments that need to be made, etc. Decide who will take care of that to-do, create an action step (“Call plumber”), and set a deadline to have the task finished. Todoist makes this very easy — you can share the list between you, assign the to-do to you or your wife, and set a date for its completion; if it doesn’t get checked off by the deadline, todoist will send you a reminder that it’s overdue.

You can also use this part of the meeting to talk about your finances, if there are things to discuss in that area.

At your next meeting, review what got done, offer progress reports, discuss why undone tasks weren’t completed by the deadline, and set new goals and priorities for the coming week.

If an issue concerning chores, to-dos, or finances runs into a significant conflict, and/or becomes heated/emotional, then table it for the moment, and move its discussion to the Problems & Challenges part of the meeting.

Plan for Good Times

In the foreword to Berger’s Marriage Meetings, therapist Linda Bloom notes that “cultivating a loving partnership isn’t just about ‘working on our relationship’; it’s also about co-creating experiences that bring pleasure and happiness into each spouse’s life.”

In fact, we’d say happy marriages have almost nothing to do with “working on our relationship,” and about 99% to do with striving to be an excellent, interesting, well-balanced person yourself, and doing things with your spouse that solidify your friendship and promote flourishing.

The “Plan for Good Times” portion of your marriage meeting helps you take concrete steps to do just that. You plan for:

  • A date for just the two of you. Regular date nights can help you keep the romantic spark alive. Remember, even if you’re busy or feel you can’t afford a regular night on the town, you can always plan a romantic at-home date.
  • Individual activities. When you and your wife met, a lot of what drew you to each other was the fact that you each had your own interests and hobbies, and you took care of yourself. You embodied an attractive vitality. Don’t let that deteriorate after you get married by becoming complacent and losing yourself in the relationship. At your weekly marriage meeting, each partner should let the other know of at least one activity they’d like to do by themselves or with a friend. It’s not selfish; alone time renews an energy that’s ultimately good for your marriage and your whole family.
  • Activities with mutual friends. Hanging out with others together has a strange way of renewing your own feelings of happiness and love for each other. You don’t necessarily have to go out together with friends every week, but aim for at least once or twice a month.
  • Family recreation. A family that has fun together, stays together. Instead of sitting around all weekend long, get out and do a microadventure. You can come up with some ideas at your marriage meeting, and then run them by your kids at your family meeting.
  • Family/couple vacations. Talk about how your plans are progressing for your next trip.

It’s easy to talk about date nights and microadventures, but if you don’t sit down and decide on a specific activity and time, you’ll usually end up taking the path of least resistance and do nothing. By intentionally making plans for good times, you’ll end up with a lot more fun in your life. Date nights maintain intimacy, while hanging out alone, with friends, and as a family creates bonds and memories that both elevate your individual happiness, and the happiness of your relationship as well.

Problems & Challenges

The Problems & Challenges part of the marriage meeting comes last by design. By this time the two of you are feeling appreciated, are confident that chores will get done, and are already looking forward to the fun things you’ve planned to do together. You should hopefully be feeling upbeat and have the confidence to tackle any challenges you may be facing with each other, or from life in general.

In this part of the meeting, “each of you can bring up any concern — money, sex, in-laws, parenting, changing schedules, or something else.” Here are some examples of the kinds of things you might talk about during Problems & Challenges:

  • The (mis)behavior of one of your children and what to do about it
  • Spouse isn’t backing you up when you’re disciplining the kids
  • In-laws have been coming over too often (or you haven’t visited your own parents enough)
  • Where to spend Thanksgiving/Christmas
  • Where to send a kid for school
  • Unhappiness with how much time spouse is spending at work
  • Lack of intimacy/unhappiness with the frequency of sex
  • Mutual or individual unhappiness with the church you’re attending
  • Mutual or individual struggle with faith
  • The frequency with which overnight guests have been visiting
  • Spouse always leaves kitchen a mess
  • Spouse makes critical comments about you in front of family/friends
  • Conflict over budget
  • Schedule of activities feels too packed
  • Spouse is consistently in bad mood after work
  • The desire to change jobs
  • Whether to accept a job
  • Spouse sabotages your diet
  • Spouse has been drinking a lot

Problems & Challenges isn’t a chance to air a laundry list of grievances. Each spouse can pick, at the most, two issues to bring up per meeting.

Each partner should explain their side of things, or talk about the pros and cons of various choices. Brainstorm ideas for addressing the issue, and try to reach a compromise or mutually agreed upon decision.

If one partner tends to go on and on, endlessly coming up with new issues and angles to talk about, and they get offended if you try to wrap things up, agree to use a timer and set it for 20 minutes. Then the timer can end things impersonally. If you haven’t resolved something by the sound of the beep, agree to revisit the issue next week.

If you and your wife struggle to discuss issues without it becoming heated and acrimonious, review our articles on the commandments of clean communication and how to communicate your needs in a relationship.

At your first few meetings, instead of bringing up serious, sensitive, contentious issues straight off, talk about things that will be fairly easy to resolve. That way you’ll build confidence in your ability to discuss and address issues together and come to associate the meetings with enjoyment rather than tension; having your first marriage meeting be acrimonious may cause you to drop the idea altogether.

Keep in mind that research says that almost 70% of marriage problems never get resolved. That doesn’t mean they invariably lead to divorce. In healthy relationships, spouses are able to accept that their partner isn’t ever going to change; yet they feel that their partner’s positive traits outweigh their flaws, and are grateful for them on the whole. Instead of solving problems, you can simply learn to manage them.

Happily, the stronger you keep your love and friendship, the easier that management process is; you won’t notice things that bother you nearly as much. When you stay connected with each other and are physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually tight, you’ll naturally have few interpersonal issues to talk about during Problems & Challenges; you can simply discuss the challenges you’re facing together — side-by-side, looking out at the world as partners in crime and everything else.

And what helps you arrive at this level of harmony and intimacy? Holding a weekly marriage meeting, of course!

For an audio rundown of how to do a marriage meeting, listen to our interview with Marcia: 

___________________________

Source:

Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love: 30 Minutes a Week to the Relationship You’ve Always Wanted by Marcia Naomi Berger

Tags: Marriage

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9 Components for a Successful Marriage Meeting

Are you meeting with your partner on a frequent basis to discuss how you are doing as a couple or running your family? Are you aligned with the same goals? Are you both on the same page with the things that need to take place each week to be successful in life?

Call it a family meeting or a marriage meeting or any name you like…just do it!

Successful Partnerships Revolve Around Proper Communication

Don’t groan and say it sounds like a good idea, but if you and your partner ran a business together you’d likely be meeting at least once a week to discuss your priorities, open items, and areas where you need each other‘s assistance.

Your partnership is also a legal and financial partnership. Like partners in a small business, couples must manage money, make joint decisions, and communicate with one another about dozens of day-to-day issues.

Why Have a Marriage Meeting?

The purpose is to COMMUNICATE what’s on your to do list, to listen to what’s on your partner’s to do list, and to discuss important issues. Relationships fail. So do business partnerships. And more often than not communication, or lack thereof, is to blame. The root cause of most problems in any relationship, whether professional or personal, can be put down to misunderstandings that result from lack of communication.

In any relationship, there is always room for growth. If a relationship is not growing, the opposite is happening. When you conduct an effective marriage meeting every week, your communication will continue to get better and better.

How Often Do You Need to Have a Marriage Meeting?

This really depends on the couple. Weekly is ideal. JUST DO IT REGULARLY. Depending on how busy you maybe you may need to meet more frequently than once per week or less than once per week.

What Are Some Rules for a Successful Marriage Meeting?

  • How many issues is each person allowed to bring up? 
  • How much time do you want to spend focusing on challenges? 
  • What happens if you can’t come to an agreement? Will you schedule a follow up conversation or pick back up on the topic the following week?
  • Remember one of the cardinal rules to disagreements – “respond, don’t react”

Basic Topics for a Successful Marriage Meeting Agenda

The agenda will morph into what works for you. Here are some general topics that will likely apply to everyone:

  • Appreciation
  • Upcoming Events
  • Action Plan for the Week
  • Goals 
  • “How Can I Support You?”
  • Challenges
  • Quality to Practice
  • Financial Check In
  • What can we look forward to?

Always start and end your marriage meeting with conversations that are positive so you can set the tone for the meeting and close it in a good place.  At a minimum, breaking the weekly meeting into 4 parts is essential:

  1. Appreciation
  2. Chores – the “To Do” List
  3. Problems and Challenges
  4. Plan for Fun

Here’s a breakdown of the big areas to cover.

1. APPRECIATION

It is nice to hear someone appreciates you. During your weekly meeting share something you appreciate about the other person. A couple that appreciates each other on a daily basis for all the little or big things eventually develops a culture of gratitude within their marriage. This is extremely important for a couple to stay happy and contented and their marriage to thrive.

2. UPCOMING EVENTS

During your marriage meeting you should discuss upcoming events. Medical Appointments? Home Repairs? Neighbor’s Birthday Party? It is wise to review future dates to the extent they need extra planning. Go through each day of the week and discuss any key events that occur on those days. During this time discuss each other‘s work schedules, kids activities and other scheduled commitments.

3. ACTION PLAN FOR THE WEEK

Discuss what items are on your to do lists during the upcoming week. Going through your to do list during your meeting gives you the opportunity to share your action plans for the upcoming week and to identify if there are gaps or tasks to be added.

This is also a great example to identify if there is an unequal distribution of work between you and your partner. By creating a joint to do list, you are able to identify what your responsibilities are and what your partner’s responsibilities are.

You can break down list by category:

  • House responsibilities
  • Items to purchase (or sell)
  • Work tasks
  • To be fixed
  • Miscellaneous

4. GOALS FOR THE WEEK

These may be fitness related, money related, sleep related, among many other things. Studies find that you are 92% more likely to achieve your goals if you share them with someone else and share your ongoing progress towards reaching your goals. With these odds, why not share your goals with each other?

5. “HOW CAN I SUPPORT YOU?”

One of the questions to always ask each other in your marriage meeting is “how can I support you?” This is a great time to discuss feeling overwhelmed. Maybe you have a doctor’s appointment you are worried about or a critical test. A supportive relationship is a relationship which brings mutual benefit to both parties helping them to cope with the tough times and maximize the good times. Simply put, a supportive relationship enables you to achieve more than you ever could on your own.

6. CHALLENGES

This is your opportunity to bring up anything on your mind that is an issue or problem. How you address this section of your meeting is critical. Come with a mindset that this is not intended to be a time to argue, but rather a time to problem solve – or even set a time for a focused discussion. This section can quickly get out of control if you don’t establish guardrails around it.

7. FINANCIAL CHECK IN

Money is the life-source of any business. But in a partnership, it often turns out to be the source of disagreement unless there is a transparent, agreed-upon financial plan for money management. Talk about everything money. One week it may be a quick conversation where you simply check in with each other to see if there are topics we need to cover. Other weeks, dive more deeply into our budget and spending. Talk about any debt. The meeting provides a safe place to bring up areas to make a change in spending habits. This may be the least favorite part of your meeting, but it’s critical.

8. Quality TO PRACTICE

This is optional but you will come to love it! It may sound a little silly but it creates a healthy, positive habit. Each of you come up with a quality that you want to focus on in the upcoming week.

Maybe one of you picks the quality of patience and one presence. Talk about the ways that you can practice your selected quality and how you can support each other. I have even had my husband practice putting dishes in the dishwasher!

9. WHAT CAN WE LOOK FORWARD TO?

This is the fun section and purposely the last item of the marriage meeting agenda. Discuss what you can look forward to or plan something fun. This may be something planned in the next week, or even in the next year. It brings positivity to the conversation. In asking yourselves what we can look forward to each week, you may realize there are no scheduled “fun activities.”

Having fun together can help couples feel positive emotions, which can increase relationship satisfaction, help couples to unite in order to overcome differences and give hope when working through difficult challenges. It may be as simple as an in-home date night, but it’s something you can both look forward to in your week. Always plan something fun!

Some Keys to Remember to Make Your Marriage Meetings Successful

  • You don’t need anything fancy to create a meeting. The most important thing is that you are fully present with each other.
  • Meetings on Sundays or Mondays can kick off a week strong. You can choose any day of the week, but try to find a day/time that works consistently each week so you get into a routine. 
  • Kids should not be part of your meeting. They are for you and your partner. Strive to find a time and place where you can give each other your full attention, with minimal distractions (including those from your kids.)
  • Typically meetings take about 20 to 30 minutes. But even if you get 10 MINUTES you are doing something positive. Think like Nike: JUST DO IT.
  • Each week make the agenda the same so you know what to expect each meeting. 
  • Buy a book to take notes. Refer back to action plan and goals.

Good Luck!

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May 10, 2018, 13:30

at 9.00 in KSK Olympia (Tyumen District) Open Championship will start and the championship of the Tyumen region in equestrian sports (triathlon СNC 1*).

At 11:00 am in the microdistrict "Tura" (school 67 k. 2, Kamchatskaya St., 154) a new patriotic object "Victory Alley" will be opened.

At 12.00 in the Pearl Hall of the Tyumen Wedding Palace (Malygina St., 85) Stork Day will be held - five large families with seven or more children will receive congratulations.

At 12.00, within the framework of the Days of Historical and Cultural Heritage, the Library of the City History (Shcherbakova St., 11) will host a thematic tour dedicated to the merchant and philanthropist A. I. Tekutiev and the city architect K. P. Chakin.

At 13.00 at the Spasskaya Hotel (Lenin St., 2 a) a press conference dedicated to the qualifying stage for participation in the Final of the VI National Championship "Young Professionals" (WorldSkills Russia) - 2018 will begin.

At 14.00 at the office of the regional branch of the ONF in the Tyumen region (Lenin St., 69a) a round table will be held on the organization of production activities within the framework of the territorial waste management scheme of the Tyumen region.

At 16.00 on the basis of the sports complex SDYUSSHOR No. 3 (Sadovaya St., 109, building 1) the VII sports festival in memory of the teacher-innovator Vladimir Khromin will open, it will include competitions in seven sports: Greco-Roman wrestling, table tennis, rhythmic gymnastics , aesthetic gymnastics, boxing, hockey and handball.

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All news mobilization in Russia, registry offices began to work in a new mode, and now queues are lining up there. Not only those who waited for the appointed date and time come to register the marriage, but also the newlyweds, one of whom is about to be sent to the military special operation zone.

Such couples are signed immediately on the day of application, and as confirmation they ask only for a summons confirming the call for mobilization.

- Mobilization is the basis for reducing the time [for consideration of applications]. You need to provide a summons or other document from the military registration and enlistment office, the painting takes place on the day of the appeal, - they explained in one of the Sverdlovsk registry offices.

This practice has spread throughout the country, and in some cities they even introduced special duty days in order to have time to sign everyone.

People who have taken advantage of the accelerated marriage registration procedure explain this step in different ways. Someone admits that he put it off for a long time or did not dare, while someone is guided by a purely rational approach.

- We submitted an application to the registry office the day after the announcement of mobilization. Together for almost eight years, two children. They would never have reached the registry office: they thought that it was useless, because you can live in love and respect without a stamp in your passport. He does not give anything, - said Anna from Yekaterinburg. - And here the situation is different, so the decision was made without doubt. Yes, and I know that for him the wedding is important. It was me who was against her all this time, and then something clicked, and I decided that it was time.

The photo below shows a couple from Zarechny. Natalya and Leonid have been together for many years, and Natalya is in the military, but two of them were called Leonid, he has no combat experience, but he has other useful skills - he works as a doctor.

Both confessed that they had been thinking about marriage for a long time, but they had been putting it off and putting it off. After Leonid received the summons, they realized that there was nowhere else to pull.

Natalia and Leonid managed to get married before the newly-made husband was sent to the training center

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Divorced couples decided to get married after the announcement of mobilization, and they kept their relationship and continued to live together. Colleagues from the CHITA.RU portal wrote about this.

— The wardrobe worker said that everyone comes nervous, many forget about the state duty. Today she handed out about 30 pieces of paper with details, now she is waiting for them all to return tomorrow and there will be an emergency. At the same time, she notes that many come not to register a marriage, but to file for divorce. Why they do this, she doesn’t know, she just respectfully and quietly says: “So there are some reasons for that,” colleagues from one of the Chita registry offices reported.

Some couples wait hours for their turn at the registry office

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— We lived for seven years without a stamp in our passport. Have a daughter. The day after the announcement of partial mobilization, they filed an application with the registry office. We were signed on the same day, as the husband is in the 1st category of the reserve. They just made a copy from the soldier and from the birth certificate of the child, - said Inna from Yekaterinburg.

Although situations are different. While some are registered even without subpoenas, others have to raise their voices to get a stamp in their passports.

- My husband was mobilized. We ran to the registry office, they painted us, but the head of the registry office was clearly unhappy. They explained to her that in a few hours the person was already flying away, she said: “Sit and wait, you are all like that here. ” I had to raise my voice, and everything was resolved. Strange people. They go to protect them, but they can’t even paint without a queue, ”Elena from Yekaterinburg shared. We have been together for five years, we have a joint child. We planned to sign next summer, but we had to speed up. It took 20-30 minutes for everything. But there are no photos left from the registry office, which we are very sorry about. And, to be honest, there was such an unpleasant leader that I didn’t even want to take a picture. Are people so evil that they do not understand the whole situation?

Against the backdrop of the news about the mobilization, more applications began to be submitted and in the prescribed manner.

- We decided to get married after 14 years. Celebrated September 25th. Since there is no agenda, only a general record in a month. There are no places through "Gosuslugi" either in Yekaterinburg, or in Berezovsky, or in Verkhnyaya Pyshma. As a result, we decided to celebrate not in the Sverdlovsk region at all, - reader Dmitry told E1. RU. - Just through the "Gosuslugi", knowing the mail and SNILS of your future wife, you send an application, she receives a beautiful letter in the mail, follows the link, fills in her data, pays the state duty, and that's it - the date is set. The decision was purely random. In the evening, the thought of the wedding flew into my head, and in the morning my wife says that she had a dream: “They will take everyone, including you. We need to get married." Then I did everything.

Dmitry and his lover filed an application with the registry office after 14 years of relationship

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The excitement after the announcement of partial mobilization arose not only in the registry offices, but also at notary offices. For those who are not ready to register a marriage, there is also a way out: issue a power of attorney, which in fact gives even more powers than a stamp in a passport.

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- Issuing a power of attorney will cost more than registering a marriage, but will provide more opportunities and powers at the request of each of the partners. Revoking a power of attorney is much easier and cheaper than a divorce process, - explained lawyer Yulia Fedotova.

What other documents and powers of attorney the mobilized should have time to issue before being sent to the NWO, read in this material.

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