Letter to my wife during hard times

How to Write a Letter to Your Wife During Hard Times

When you get married, you vow to be there for one another for better and for worse. Obviously, you hope that those worse times never come. But unfortunately, you may face hardships and tragedies. If you’re lucky enough to have a spouse by our side, you can get through those challenges. A support system like a partner in life is invaluable. 

Jump ahead to these sections:
  • Step 1: State the Purpose of Your Letter
  • Step 2: Don’t Shy Away from the Issue
  • Step 3: Offer Specifics 
  • Step 4: Praise Her
  • Step 5: Speak from the Heart
  • Step 6: Be Positive
  • Step 7: End on an Uplifting Note
  • Sample Letter to a Wife Who Supported You During Hard Times
  • Sample Letter to a Wife Going Through During Hard Times

If you and your wife are in the midst of going through hard times, she may need some extra encouragement. You can show her some support by taking the time to write her a letter. A letter of support can serve as a tangible reminder that you will continue to be a pillar of strength for her. 

Here, we break down the steps to crafting an incredible letter of encouragement. We’ve also included two sample letters to inspire you to craft a letter to your own wife in difficult times.  

Step 1: State the Purpose of Your Letter

Whenever you begin any kind of correspondence, you should open by quickly stating the purpose of your missive. Maybe you want to thank your wife for supporting you after you lost your job. Maybe you want to comfort her after one of her parents passed away.

Maybe you want to commiserate with her over your shared heartache after a long period of infertility. Whatever message you want to convey should be succinctly shared at the beginning of your letter. 

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Step 2: Don’t Shy Away from the Issue

If you’re writing to offer support during a difficult time, you don’t have to tiptoe around the issue. After all, you both know what it is that you’re going through.

In a letter like this, it’s important to be heartfelt. It’s hard to do that if you’re sugarcoating the situation. If your wife is facing a personal struggle, acknowledge the seriousness of what she’s going through. But then assure her that you will help her through it in whatever way you can.  

Step 3: Offer Specifics 

The specific details of your letter will depend on the type of letter you’re writing. If you’re writing to support your wife during a personal struggle, you can include details like the following:

  • Point out all of her attributes that will carry her through this hard time.
  • List specific things she’s done throughout this time that you’re proud of.
  • Number the ways you will support her as she continues to navigate this situation.

Maybe you’re writing to thank your wife for the support she gave you. If so, you can include the following:

  • The specific things she did that you are grateful for
  • The ways in which you are grateful
  • Things you have to look forward to now that you’ve come out the other side

Above all else, the body of the letter should be very specific to you and your relationship.  

Step 4: Praise Her

No matter the reason for writing your letter, you can praise your wife for any number of things. If you’re showing your gratitude for her support, praise the ways she helped you.

If she’s having a difficult time, praise the way she’s handling things. Praise is one of the most important things in life. It can lift you up and get you through even the darkest times. 

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Step 5: Speak from the Heart

Whether you’re writing a letter of gratitude or a letter of encouragement, it’s important to be heartfelt. You’re connecting with your wife about a deeply personal and emotional situation.

This isn’t a standard, simple thank you note. Being emotionally open and transparent is integral to writing an in-depth letter like this.  

Step 6: Be Positive

Even though you shouldn’t shy away from the issue, you should also make an effort to be as positive as possible. Even if you are still in the midst of hardship or tragedy, you can be optimistic.

For example, if you’re dealing with infertility issues as a couple, go through your options. If this is the end of the road for fertility treatments, suggest adoption as a possibility. Assure your wife that your marriage will survive even these difficult times. Let her know that even if you don’t have children, you’ll still love her. There are ways to be positive about even a tragic situation. 

Step 7: End on an Uplifting Note

No matter the purpose of your letter, you can always find a positive note to end on. If you’re writing to thank your wife for supporting you during a personal struggle, conclude by telling her how you want to show your appreciation.

If you’re writing to acknowledge her own hard times, reinforce the reasons you know she’ll persevere. The best gift you can give someone sometimes is a little bit of hope.  

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Sample Letter to a Wife Who Supported You During Hard Times

Dear Rebecca,

I’m writing this letter to thank you for being so supportive over the past few months. I know we’ve been through some challenges, and I can’t fully express how grateful I am for helping me get through it. 

Being told that I wouldn’t be making junior partner at the law firm this year was incredibly crushing. I’ve put in so many hours as an associate, as you obviously know. After years of long hours and late nights away from you and the kids, it was so disappointing. I won’t lie. It was a pretty big blow to the ego. I really struggled with a lack of self-esteem and self-worth.

The worst part of this was that I felt I had let you down. You’ve been, in many ways like a single mother for the past few years. There are days when I’m at work so early and stay so late that I never get to see the kids. You’ve been taking care of them while working your own job. Part of the reason I wanted this promotion was to make enough money that you could just stay home if you wanted to. But most of the reason I wanted it was so I could work better hours and be there with you and the kiddos more. I felt like I let you down on both fronts.

But because you’re amazing, you saw why I was so devastated. And you reassured me from the first moment that I never let you down. You reminded me that you believed in me and that you knew we would get through this. I know it had to be a bummer because you were thinking you’d get your husband back in the house more. But you never let it show. 

I just want you to know that you have been my rock through all of this. I’m so grateful to have your love and support in my life. I also wanted to tell you that you’re right — we did make it through this because one of the partners announced today that he’s retiring. Before he made the formal announcement, the management team called me into a conference and offered me a partnership position. I let them know that I need to discuss it with my wife. So if you’re still on board, then we finally made it happen.



Sample Letter to a Wife Going Through During Hard Times

Dear Sarah,

I never wanted to have to write a letter to my wife during hard times but now we’re facing them. I wanted to write this letter to let you know how impressed I am with you. Even though I know this is one of the most terrible times in your life, you’re persevering with such grace.

I know we tried to prepare as much as possible for the death of your mom. We’ve known for a while that she wasn’t responding to treatments. But there’s really no way you can get ready for the death of a parent.

Your mom was such an amazing person. I know how close you were. A single mom and an only child form a bond that few people can understand. I had the same kind of relationship with my mother. I know it feels like a big piece of you is missing right now.

Even though you’re grieving, you’re still such a caring mother to our own children. You’re taking comfort from how much they need you, even as you miss your own mom. I wouldn’t blame you at all if you need solitude. But you’re drawing strength from your family, which is so impressive.

I know things feel very dark and raw right now. But I promise there are moments of light and beauty left in the world. I’ll do my best to find them and point them out to you. While I know you’re feeling very alone right now, I hope you know that I’m here to help and support you as much as I can right now. I said for better and for worse and I meant it. 



Pen a Letter of Encouragement to Your Wife During Challenging Times

We all go through challenging times in our lives but those difficulties are infinitely easier to face when you have a supportive partner by your side. If your wife has stood by you during a hard time, say thank you for being there in a heartfelt letter.

Or if she’s going through a tragedy of her own, craft a letter of encouragement. The most difficult things in life are easier to weather when you and your partner stick together.   

A Heartfelt Letter to My Wife During Hard Times (3-minute Read) – Family Life Share

The married life is really tough. You cannot expect only beautiful flowers and butterflies every day. Your relationship will be tested. Your patience will be pushed to the limit. And there will come a time when you will feel that you have had enough. But, as a husband, you need to stand strong and keep your marriage deeply founded in love and understanding.

A letter can be the only way to express your love to your wife. A lot of things may already be going on in her mind. She needs your encouragement as a husband. She must also have a stronghold so that hope will be in your marriage.

Give her a letter to assure her that everything will be fine. Send her all the motivation and the boost of her morale. Your gestures will certainly not go unnoticed.

My loving wife,

I adore you. You are the love of my life. Do you remember the words that I said when we got married? I shall be your stronghold, your anchor, your wind vane and your friend. This is still true today.

We are now in a season of hardship and trials. I know that it has been rough these couple of months. We were both not expecting what happened. But all of these events have all passed and gone. And now, we are left with a seemingly insurmountable problem in front of us.

I have not figured all of these things out yet, to be honest. To be vulnerable, I will say that I do not have a solution yet for our problem. But we will keep faith that everything will be okay. I will do my best to solve this. I promise you that, after all of these are through and done, we will just laugh about it and think of it as another step that made our relationship stronger.

I am your stronghold. Do you remember my favorite collection of movies? Most of them are about wars and battles. The soldiers always go to their stronghold if they want to cure those that are injured, get more ammunition or pack up rations. Soldiers who are weary and tired also take rest in the stronghold.

I know that you are injured, not physically, but emotionally. Our problems have taken a toll on your heart. Yes, things are hard, and there have been no concrete answers to our concerns yet. But I will be strong for you, my dear.

Rations are supposed to rejuvenate our physical bodies. I know that you are also physically weak, my darling. Our problem has lasted more than we could ever hope for. What do you need to be reinvigorated? Just tell me and I will do the best I can to supply you with it.

Stress can definitely hurt us because of these hard times. Stress has a way of causing our bodies to react negatively to situations. It can fool our cells into fighting with each other, causing illnesses to us. Even if you hide it, I know that your mind is stressed. Just like what I am doing, you are also figuring things out.

We should not let our bodies give in to these problems. I care so much about your physical status. If we are to sustain our marriage, we should keep ourselves healthy. Whenever you are tired or weary, just come to me. I will exert all of my available energy to bringing back the strength that you lose as we go through these hard times.

I am your anchor. I will keep our marriage in its position even when the tides go high. Nothing can ruin this marriage, I promise you that. Even if the winds blowhard, I will keep on holding on. Even if the water pushes our ship, I will restore it because of the love in my heart for you. These are truly hard times, my dear.

The storms in the midst of the sea are very powerful. But, you know what? The hurricanes in our lives are what makes our foundations stronger. The winds will test our relationship. The waters will wobble our faith in each other. But we will get through this, I promise that to you.

I am your wind vane. The winds will come and go. We will just sway where our paths will bring us. But I will point you to the right direction. This I promise you. We may be in a situation where it seems that the odds are against us. But we will push and conquer this problem that we have. We will figure something out.

I am your friend. You should not have to go too far to find a companion to talk to. I am here for you. It is fun to talk about funny stories and exciting events in our daily lives. But, just like in any other marital relationship, nothing is perfect.

You should come and open up to me. What is really wrong? What are you feeling? How was your day? Where do you want to go to? What are you thinking about? These are just some of the questions that you can ask me. I will never, ever judge you by what you say. I accepted all of you the moment we got married. And I will keep doing that to you.

Even if we will not talk, you can just go to me to find your rest. Sit by my side or lie on my lap, it does not matter. In these hard times, we all need some time to just take a breather and free our mind a bit. Come here and rest for a while.

Everything in this world will change. Our circumstance will change. This will not last forever. This is just a season in our lives as a married couple. This situation is just a part of marriage. All husbands and wives undergo different problems. It just appears that this type of problem has come our way.

But this will also change. If it feels that this is the bottom of the barrel, then there is nowhere else to go to but upwards. When we are pushed against the wall, the only thing we can do is push back. Our lives will get better, you can be sure of it.

My love for you has also changed. At the start of our marriage, I already loved you. You are my spring and my sunshine. You are my one and only heart.

Throughout the years, we have faced countless problems. As more trials and obstacles come, our love for each other has only grown stronger. During these times, we hold on to each other’s hands instead of letting go. We stick to one another instead of being more and more apart. These problems increase the quality of our marriage.

Nothing will separate us, my love. As long as we have each other, we will never succumb to these glitches in our lives. Our faith and love will overcome anything that blocks our way. We just need to hold on.

Everything has a purpose. Every little stone or boulder that seems to stumble us has a reason why it is there in front of us. It should not persuade us to give up. Instead, it should only make us more determined to remove it. The more stones we remove from our path, the more we get stronger and better.

Again, my love, this is just a season of our lives. It has a beginning. It has a length. And it has an ending. We got past the beginning. It was tough when it started, but we got through it. Now, we are in the middle of the season. A lot of hurt, a lot of wrong moves and a lot of miscommunication have transpired. But those are all part of working things out for the better.

Treat the whole length of the season as a journey full of tests and trials. In it, we will learn more about life. We will also learn more about each other and how we cope with these types of problems. In it, we recognize our strengths and weaknesses. I will complement your life with my strengths, and you will help me with yours. We will build each other up during these times.

Eventually, we will reach the end of this season. I cannot imagine how happy we will be once we get past this part of our lives. Until that day comes, you can rely on me to keep holding on to you, caring for you and protecting you.

I love you. I am yours, always and forever.

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2021. The most touching letters to a wife in hard times

The value of a woman is tested and proven in times of adversity. You have proven priceless, priceless and exceptional. You are a rare breed; wealthy woman. The brightness of the Sun is already shining through the darkness. The wait through the storm is over! I appreciate you, my f

I don't know how you tolerate me without scaring yourself. You remain unperturbed in the face of an extremely difficult time. You are a rare pearl, an unusual breed and connoisseur! You are an unwavering optimist; you won't stop until others are infected by your positive

Thank you for being you. When the ride got rough, tough and bumpy; your love and presence became my anchor. I couldn't face my worst fears and win without you in my life. I could not pick up the pieces of my shattered k

Dear wife, no one but a fool gets himself into trouble. Stupidity is not in my DNA, as such, I never went all out in court. And you too. Trouble struck like lightning; sweeping us off our feet like the eye of a tornado. We are shocked but not n

There is still hope. Just believe. I know you're wary, tired and scared. I know you're running out; but wait a little more. Help is on the way: God never fails. The darkest hour is just before dawn; our breakthrough is certain. You have been my constant help

My beautiful queen, thank you for believing in me. Thank you for reaching out and holding me tight to lift me up when I was down. I appreciate it when you patiently listen to my rambling. Thank you for staying by when the others throw

Trouble in paradise; I can no longer put up with the pretense of an imaginary ideal life. I can't keep borrowing to keep up the looks. The illusion of grandiosity is no longer viable, and I am suffocated by the staggering amount of

Don't be discouraged, my beautiful wife. After a heavy downpour, the cloud cleared to reveal the beauty of the sunlight in all its glory. This difficult time will definitely end, and our breakthrough will come. We are living witnesses of the anticipation of this while we are

Life could be difficult on its own without anyone's help. Life can be exceptionally lonely and hard if you don't have a soul mate to share it with. Standing alone is hard enough; life is downright awful when t

Just because your company is downsizing doesn't necessarily mean you'll be one of the members. You are doing your job very well, so there is nothing to be afraid of. If by chance this happens, it's still no big deal. You are a real pro; potential heartbreak

Bear with me, my dear. Someday everything will be difficult. We will have to cut our budgets and overstress our small resources. We may have to do without many things: but I promise you, I will do my best to get us out of this trouble.

You are true to your vows. In good times and bad, you were always by my side. You went too far to be near me. You spoiled me and showered love on me. Your love more than made up for the lack of friends who turned out to be enemies. I am scoop

I'm not proud of my participation in the yelling and ranting match that we both indulged in uncontrollably. I was really blunt and lashed out at you. I think I got tense. I'm sorry I threw those awful words at you. I wish I could

I will not listen to the advice of my fears or acknowledge the shrill sound of my disappointment. I draw strength from your love, help and understanding. The self-pity party is over, wifey. It's time to return in grand style. Come on honey

The words have left me! I'm shocked to the core! How did I receive such a blessing? You are a special gift from God to me: an angel of hope. The disaster came without warning; goods have become useless, capital has perished, savings have been swallowed up by quicksand, and shark ba

Nothing lasts forever. Every problem has an expiration date. It may be hidden from the person; it may seem quite impossible; it can be long or short. No matter how long it lasts, nothing lasts forever; our problems are included. Don't fight

When life throws lemons at you, make lemonade. Life is never fair. Bad things happen to good people. The best plans fall apart for no reason. Iron plans collapse for no reason and everything collapses, the center does not stand up. What

To achieve your goal, you need to take full advantage of opportunities throughout life. This is due to a conscious risk or following your instinct. There is never a guarantee; you lose a piece and win. This particular loss is devastating

"The cost of inaction is higher than the cost of error." Risked nothing, won nothing; for life itself is a risk. In this regard, I do not regret at all that I took the risk of investing heavily in this business. But because of the fickle hand of fate, which p

You are the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. You are dedicated, loyal and dedicated. Thank you for your dedication to finding solutions to our problems. You are superwoman, I love you!

The bottom has just fallen out of my world, dear wife. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, everything went downhill. I'm mad, my wife. I can only get through this with the assurance that I can always count on your love, support and hugs. nine0003

Life is full of ups and downs; twists and turns; good and bad times; great moments and terrible moments. Without the uncertainty that life offers in the most seemingly certain times, life would usually be boring, not difficult, and unstimu

A reliable support system rather. The trouble came to call, friends grew emergency wings to fly out of wealth. Which is more destructive

True love is shown on a day of distress. Anyone can love when everything is good and blooming. Anyone can be reluctant to stick with their partner, giving off terrible vibes. Some women start off well but leave their husband dry and dry halfway through. My l

This is really amazing! The bone of contention in other people's lives is the bond that holds our family together. Everyone is clingy, needy and holding on to each other for support. Our difficult situation has not parted us on the sides. Rather, he brought us closer ... because of your

Hard times never last, only tough people. I thought I was strong enough to overcome any obstacle in my path, until one that was too deep for me nearly suffocated me. I've been abandoned; literally becomes

You are an unusual breed, my superwoman; I love you so! Without you, there is no functional me. All my feelings, being, intellect and firm intention come to life when the trigger of your love, support and constant support keeps me tho

If you ever want to refuse; no one will be more understanding than me. If the urge to leave this unpleasant situation is so great that you are fighting a losing battle with it; do your best to keep your sanity. I love you my f

My dear wife, thank you for being my lifeline and support. I wouldn't have been able to handle this problem without you. Keep praying, our story will soon change forever

Now I know that no one is an island. You are a woman of quiet strength and resilience. I appreciate the confidence you exude in the face of so many challenges. You are always optimistic, despite the difficulties. You are a treasure in every area of ​​life. You are my anchor, thank you Krasav

We've been through so many hard times together and weathered the storm as a team. This storm is raging with the express purpose of engulfing us. I'm still standing, albeit shaken, just because you're always by my side. Despite all the difficulties, you are my friend, warrior and o

We did not choose this task; he chose us. Delirium and ranting is a positive waste of energy. Hope in the midst of extreme despair is our friend. Hope will show us the direction of the light, and the darkness, blinded by the light, will see the darkness. Baby we can beat it terp

I'm not sure I deserve this level of loyalty from you, but I'm amazed! Even stunned. I hurt you in so many ways and it hurt. I was careless, insensitive and indifferent towards you. I've been so busy making money, chuvs

Yes we can! We may not be in control of life's violent upheavals, but we can turn the tide in our favor. We may be powerless to influence how each day goes by, but we can control our attitude and determine the height to which

We may count our blessings or choose to lick/heal our wounds by telling bad stories about our troubles. We can live in the past, reveling in its glory, denying the harsh reality of the present adversity. We have many blessings: we are alive, we are in

This too shall pass. The storms of life turned out to be the builders of our destiny. Our past struggles have only allowed us to strengthen our power by using our gifts and unlocking previously unknown talents/abilities. Dear wife, we've been through a lot in the past and got out n

Truly, love changes the world. Love heals, strengthens and restores. Dear wife, your love, faith and hope are so contagious that I have the motivation to get out of the quagmire of despair that life has thrown me into and start over. Process

My sweet cake, you are the love of my life. I love you so! I should be terrified and appalled by our current predicament, but with a wife like you, I can't help but remain optimistic in the face of such adversity. Great news! We are harder

You are not a conformist: you always stand out from the crowd. All hell usually unfolds in the home front when a person's livelihood is snatched from the rich. With the collapse of the business empire, love and respect disappear or are challenged. You, my wife, respected me and

Failure to act is the failure of the Grand Slam tournament. Actions without considering and weighing options are set to fail. Apologies and regrets are the best friends of failure. Despair and despondency are recruiters of failure. My dear wife, why are we sitting

I'm sorry, dear wife, for taking my frustrations out on you. You didn't deserve it when you were just trying to help. Excuse me, okay? I am a broken person now. I need you now, more than ever. You are my lifeline

My dear, please don't be upset. Don't be afraid, everything will be fine. Never doubt that we emerge from these adversities in triumph. We are a team ready to find a way out. Our success does not depend on fickle fate or elusive luck. We ourselves since

True love is confirmed not by time, but by time and flow. Disasters are a true test of love. My beautiful darling, you loved me without holding back in times of excess. It is also a fact that you love me generously and unconditionally in times of trouble.

You are a rare gem, my dear. Hardworking, dedicated and supportive; This is my girl. Thank you for being a support; I don't take it for granted. I assure you I will do my best to get us back on track

One who has fallen has nothing more to fear. If we open our eyes wide enough, we will see possibilities everywhere. If he does not come to us, we must look for him. Why be afraid? Sometimes, my cherry pie, the turning point of our entire lives points to ba

Now that we've passed through the epicenter of the storm; rest for reflection and mediation is good. There is no rowing. If we don't paddle our own canoe, we won't move. My dear, our fate is in our hands; let's go already

Being broke is as alien as snowfall on a rainy day in Nigeria. Being hopelessly poor in Nigeria is as strange as snowflakes on a sunny day in a scorching heat. However, this is a fact. I'm completely broke. Savings: gone. Attachments: liquidated

You are my heartbeat, my sweet life. If I could, I would spare you the agony this crisis has brought to our lives. I would never hurt you in this world. Things are pretty confusing at the moment, but the beauty of this is our brainstorming sessions and

You are always inspiring, inspiringly delightful, my heartthrob. You are my warrior in prayer, the main partner, friend and lover. You are for me a perfect gift from heaven: I adore you. Times and tide cannot change you; you stayed true to your sweet nature. From

We were indescribably happy when we had more than enough to maintain a great lifestyle. Now everything has fallen apart, the center does not hold zilch. I'm broken but hopeful. I firmly believe that everything will change. I have everything it takes to be 9 again0003

The longest day has come to an end, my love. Our suffering may be unbearable, but it will surely end.

You deserve a reward for loving me, marrying me, and putting up with my machinations. I'm not the easiest person in life, but you know what the whole world means to me. Life is tough right now: let me assure you that I will do my best

Nothing lasts forever. Seasons come and go. Each season has a duration. The good news, my pearl, is that no matter how long and difficult this period of hardship may seem, it will surely come to an end. Don't worry, honey. Floor

You make me laugh. Sometimes I forget that I carry the burden of the whole world on my head... simply because you care. Don't you think you're not doing enough, my dear wife? When everything turns around for us; Your love and perseverance in delivering

No man has ever been loved so sincerely and thoroughly as you love me, in season and out of it. I appreciate you more than you ever think. I love you much more. We've been through a lot together; Good bad evil. Laugh, cry, dream and

The path to greatness is rocky at best. Even the most faint of heart can climb to the top of the mountain without difficulty. Success and wealth are for the diligent who overcome obstacles without giving up. My beloved wife, our problems are momentary. The end is limitless

My dear wife, life is unpredictable. Whatever the tides; we can create wonderful memories. Our situation does not define us; rather, we define each situation. It is our prerogative and choice to create wonderful memories from them

My love, you are the center of my universe. You are the reason my world remains stable despite the earthquake's financial crisis and its devastating effects on our family. Temptations of various strengths, trials in various proportions, and calamities upon the tribe;

I may be broken, but my heart is full of love for you. My savings may be gone this very minute, but I'm staying here. I may be temporarily unemployed, but I will do my best to make life easier for you and the children. I fell but didn't leave. I'll make it thu

Honestly, I would like to help; but since this is a work-related problem, I am completely beyond my strength, I feel helpless. I believe you can handle it; I know that you can. Every problem has a solution. I pray that the solution is

Behind every success story is endless hard work, untold difficulties, countless failures, struggles and failures. The story of sudden sudden success hides a lot. Dear wife, it's time to play out our own scenario. Sooner or later the world will watch

Oh dear, why do you think I don't understand and appreciate your greatest fear? Fear of the unknown? Fear of an onslaught of deprivation with no apparent relief? I don't have all the answers, but I assure you, we will solve this problem together. Whatever happens

Life in phases, full of seasons. We have experienced a season of love, fun, abundance and extravagance. It's a new season; uncharted waters. A season of trials and trials. Difficulties and hardships that will reveal our strength and strengthen us where we are weak. This period

The mission is to overcome all obstacles on the way to a breakthrough. The goal is to be fulfilled, successful and super rich. The strategy is to overcome all the difficulties in our path, defeat them and win. Darling, retreat is

Your love and unwavering support, my dear wife, I do not take lightly. It is the only straw I desperately hold on to in order to survive and recover. You are amazing my angel! Thank you for not giving up on me. Help is on the way

Love conquers all battles. My beautiful wife, tearing at each other for no reason, literally tears me apart. Nothing in this world should separate us as long as we love each other and strive to strengthen each other. These are hard times, w

I'm on the edge of my wits, wifey. Every attempt I make to get us out of this financial quagmire seems to make things worse. I need help; many assurances that things will get better soon; lots of hugs stunning TLC and tons of chu

Thank you wifey for your amazing insight and contributions. You are incredibly smart! The solutions you suggested will definitely be my next line of action. You are my bright spot in a dark tunnel; rainbow after heavy rain. You kindled hope in me;

There is no denying the fact that these days things are going downhill at an alarming rate. Now everything is so terrible that even feeding becomes a serious problem. Everything is so tense that we live like cats and mice. Best friends almost strangers under one

Now life can be hard, but we are tougher. Everything can be very difficult, but we are made of a stronger material. We can fall, but not get out. My dear wife, no matter what comes our way, be sure of this: we will win

Dear wife, if we are paralyzed by the fear of failure, we will never go beyond the established limits. If we go the extra mile, we'll get a bonus.

It's times like this that I feel extremely happy because you are not only my friend, but also my wife. No matter what life is, I can always count on you to be in my corner. You are the wife of millions! This gives uv

You are a great woman and prove your worth over and over again. In times of excess, you are cautious and moderate. In difficult times, you are smart, hardworking and resourceful. I really admire you. I appreciate your efforts to make life as good as possible

No one enjoys hard times or finds pleasure in hard times, dear. Even a sadist finds pleasure only in the pain inflicted on others. Being a fighter means never giving in to despair because defeat is never windows

You are one of a kind, my love! You knew exactly what to do to bring me out of my catatonic state. You pushed me to action. You knew exactly which button to press to create a miracle. Anger can be used constructively,

It's okay to feel devastated by a huge loss. When something hits you below the waist, it tends to blow the wind out of your sail. We've cried enough, dear. Thank God there are no charges here; Still party sting

Failure breeds fear. A huge loss robs a person of his confidence, diminishes his ability, and mocks his sense of judgment. Fear is false evidence that appears to be real. Feel the fear if you will, my dear wife, but let's all

Sometimes, no matter how hard the effort is, it never happens. Refusal is not subject to review. Every effort counts; The result is only a matter of time. My dear wife, I know things are terribly hard right now, but hold on. Patience is bitter, but its fruit is from

Dear significant other, it may be very dark now; but your love and faith do not allow me to comprehend the enormity of its incomprehensible darkness. I know that even the darkest night comes to an end, however long it may be. Dawn will surely come. С

Life is hard. Life is also unfair. He tends to be unpredictable. Being alive, staying alive and healthy is a real struggle. Some we win, some we lose, and others make compromises. My wife, we can go down today; n

This is obviously a conspiracy to put you out of a job. The evidence of gross negligence presented to you is too terrible to shy away from when the colleagues and boss who knew the truth are the very people who confront you with the lie. Get a pendant like

When you aim for the stars, you focus and aim high. When you aim for the moon, you up the ante. We are destined for greatness; The challenges we face on a daily basis are a prerequisite for achieving the desired level

Right now I'm so fed up with the reality of the mess we're in that I really want to be saved. I need you baby Your suffocating love, listening ears, understanding heart, friendly silence and even more love. Truck out of this

You are the star that outshines the other stars in the sky. In the darkest night, your light cannot be swallowed up by the darkness of the sky; rather, it does not subside and glows. The collapse of my business empire has left you undaunted, unwavering and unchanging. Our terrible circumstances

Nothing adds up; everything goes wrong. Suddenly, the light of each party became an outcast for everyone. Friends are now true enemies. Friends have become strangers. What a life! If everyone treats me as persona non grata because of my sudden misfortune

I know you have a hard time at work. I understand the stress you experience every day and I can see that it's taking its toll on you. I refrain from giving advice just to give you a bear hug. You keep me in your corner no matter how serious n

I am at a very low level right now. I feel like I'm drowning in a deep ocean with no one to save. My voice was hoarse with tears simply because I was tired of acting strong like a man when all I wanted to do was cry like a child. All Nasto

I'm not the richest man in the world, but you chose me. I'm not the bravest, coolest, smartest creature you've ever encountered. I'm just a person who loves you so much that I put my life on the line to make life comfortable

We set out on a journey of no return. Destination: Paradise. Duration: forever. But then tragedy struck; Disaster was looming. The problem arose with the call to heaven long before we dived. The boat capsized and I would drown if

Life is not a bed of roses; but I'm glad we've bonded a lot during the difficult times we're facing. You completely understand me and gave me freedom and space to resolve issues. With you by my side, the shadows of darkness become less scary. nine0003

"Life is the sum of choices made." I have chosen you, dear wife, and I have chosen the best. If I had the opportunity, I would choose you again as the reigning Queen of my heart. You are my life, my choice. Thank you for standing up for me, standing by my side.

When you feel too overwhelmed to handle even a simple task, drop everything; just lie down and take a nap, listen to music, read whatever you like if you can. I'll take care of everything when I get home. Don't be to yourself if

A better wife than you is an illusion: you are real! I was overwhelmed by my challenges, you comforted, encouraged and encouraged me to become a fearless warrior who resolutely confronts difficulties without running away. With you by my side, the battle is already won. I love

If you could, would you offer me the whole world on a golden platter; I know that, dear. If you had the power, you would solve all my problems on the spot, clear my anxious lines with your beautiful smiles and remove the pain from my eyes. You are such a remark

It's not news that we've overcome the difficulties. You were strong and supportive. When my strength leaves me, I lean on you. You are the definition of superwoman, superwife, supermom and superhero. You have done so much that I beg you to take a break, Thu

The wind of adversity just blew on our way. He can knock us down and throw us where fate wills. Or we can stick together, join forces and rush into its movement, like music, firmly sticking to the desired direction. Odds stacked n

It may be difficult for a while, dear wife, but don't worry. I will do my best in elementary things, of which there is no shortage. I promise. I know that I have your support; let's go already

Sometimes it's impossible to know the value of a thing until it's irretrievably lost. I'm grateful I didn't pay the ultimate price for such stupidity. I have always known that you are special, appreciate you and treat you like a priceless pearl. Now I understand that d

A lifetime of fun is with you, my dear. You are my talisman for good luck; with you the desert will soon become a forest full of life. Is it a difficulty? It won't last long! We will get through this, as we have with other past problems along our family journey. you mean

When the chips run out, I have nothing left but your love. Such love! The intensity of this is so mesmerizing that it closes my eyes to the many torments that beset me. Such love! Fiercely protective, encouraging, warm and so with

How handwritten letters help us through difficult times

  • Melissa Bunigan
  • BBC Travel

you to understand the events. nine0003

Photo copyright, Melissa Banigan

Photo caption,

The author's grandparents experienced a love affair exclusively by correspondence - during World War II

Handwriting a letter and getting the same in return can be a balm for the soul amid cacophony the world around us, consisting of unpleasant news, frightening statistics and social media misinformation. If no one writes to you, find the old front-line letters from your grandfather (or great-grandfather) and reread them. You will not regret it. nine0222

Like many other lovers during the Second World War, my American grandparents' romance proceeded exclusively by correspondence - from the beginning of courtship in 1944 until the telegram that my grandmother received a year and a half later: "BEloved, I will be at home for breakfast KISS JIN."

Although the letters that my grandmother wrote to her future husband were lost forever, she kept the letters of her grandfather until her death in 2005.

My cousin Brooke inherited a box of them. In 2014, she also died. After that, her mother sent them to me in Brooklyn. nine0003

Before finally reaching my hands, the letters had to travel for half a century - through two countries, across the ocean. They outlived many of the people I loved with all my heart. And it would not be an exaggeration to say that these letters are my most precious family heirloom.

I cried when I read them for the first time. During the previous ten years, I had lost several family members and friends to illness or accidents, and I myself once played with death, bedridden in intensive care due to sepsis caused by pneumonia. nine0003

The letters arrived just as I was slowly recovering. I started reading and was amazed.

Despite the black cloud of war hanging over the lovers, despite the distance that separated them, grandfather's letters were full of funny front-line stories, humor, hope and love.

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They turned out to be the very balm that my aching soul needed so much. Written in his beautiful handwriting, they brought me back to life.

Five years have passed since then, and I again found myself locked in the walls of my apartment. This time, like billions of people around the world, because of the need to contain the spread of the dangerous coronavirus. nine0003

During the first week of self-isolation, I binge read the news and closely followed social media to see how my friends and relatives were doing. Some acquaintances began to talk about their loved ones who had died or were confined to a ventilator. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has warned that the virus is spreading across the state "faster than a bullet train."

And soon my nerves were on edge due to the continued onslaught of harsh reality, frightening statistics and misinformation. nine0003

And I again turned to my grandfather's front-line letters - this time trying to use them to cope with my growing anxiety every day.

Photo copyright, Melissa Banigan

Photo caption,

Mary and Eugene (Jean) Banigan were married on August 29, 1945

"Social media is a double-edged sword," psychotherapist Roberta Borden Wilson later told me. They help to keep in touch with the outside world, she explained, but at the same time they force communication every minute, a quick response, leaving no time to filter out negative posts. nine0003

Negative feelings can trigger the release of stress hormones in our brains, which increase blood pressure, increase anxiety, increase depression, which can even lead to substance abuse and addiction.

All this makes us more susceptible to contracting the virus, warns Borden Wilson.

I was almost certain that it was social media that increased my pressure, and rereading my grandfather's letters from the front helped me tame my anxiety a little. nine0003

The hard world around me began to soften and melt as I read the following lines, written in the middle of 1945 in Joigny, France, southeast of Paris, when my grandfather was 22 years old.

"My dearest, beloved Mary. Lying on my bed, from time to time I glance out the window, behind which opens a wide field with a canal and a river. Now it looks so peaceful that it is impossible even to think that just a year ago on this battles were fought on the ground. The grass is green and the trees in the neighboring forest are tall and strong. The evening sun illuminates the pale blue sky with its rays. The narrow path along the canal seems to be intended for lovers like you and me. " nine0286

I asked Borden Wilson if the feeling of peace and calm that I experienced while reading my grandfather's letter was due to the fact that it was written by hand and if there is a difference in reading and writing such letters from social media posts.

Photo copyright, Melissa Banigan

Photo caption,

Heirloom letters full of hope and love

"Absolutely," she replied. "Writing by hand triggers what we call mindfulness in psychotherapy." When we take up a pen, we begin to think more analytically, we treat what we write more thoughtfully, we do it more meaningfully. nine0003

This process forces us to bring out the best in ourselves, to encourage others. And we don't get into the verbal diarrhoea of ​​social media. "

My grandfather was an American army sergeant, a paratrooper who jumped from planes during the war in France. His friends were scattered throughout the theaters of war, from the Pacific to the European. And he did not even know if he would ever return home to his beloved.0003

"I love you so much that I feel one with you. I want to make plans for my life with you. Someday, if my dreams come true, I will ask you to be my wife."

The phenomenon of front-line letters does not belong exclusively to World War II. A couple of years ago I visited the Verdun Memorial ("The Verdun Meat Grinder", the Battle of Verdun, one of the biggest battles of the First World War, lasted from 1916 to 1918), a museum in northeastern France.

Set in the pastoral countryside that was once a bloody battlefield, this museum is filled with guns, uniforms and field artillery. However, what struck me most of all were the personal belongings that the soldiers never parted with, carrying them close to their hearts, and the letters they wrote in the trenches to their loved ones. nine0003

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I talked to Nicolas Chubak, head of the education and information section of the exhibition in Verdun, about these letters. Regardless of their background and social status, "all soldiers and their families confronted the terrible reality of war. And yet optimism, hope for life and even humor - that's what we find in their letters," Chubak told me. nine0003

Letters were a way for the soldiers to "show that they can do something other than destroy enemy soldiers," he stressed. "It helped distract them from the horrors of war."

Chubak believes that wartime letters teach us patience and give us the hope and confidence we need to cope with the most difficult circumstances.

"A serious danger hangs over us now," he says. "But we need to keep a cool head and keep all events in perspective, not forgetting what people who went through the First and Second World Wars had to endure. " nine0003

The author of the photo, Melissa Banigan

Photo caption,

The author of this article was a child with his grandparents. 1976

Like Borden Wilson, Chewback believes that writing letters makes a person more consciously share their thoughts with others: "When you write a letter, you can take your time, pause, think. You are not in a hurry to react to what just happened, thus avoiding the spread of panic and fake news."

Rereading my grandfather's letters clarified for me what I was missing in social networks. My grandfather is remembered by many as a difficult person, but his letters demonstrate his generosity and modesty. nine0003

He tried to be the best, but he didn't pretend to be the best. And he followed the advice given to his students by many great writers: show, don't tell.

Grandfather showed his future wife the world through his eyes. He wrote to her about sunsets, describing the canals, the wide fields, the trees rising up into the clear blue sky. This world was ready to open like a beautiful flower bud, right in her palms.

Here is what American infantryman and historian Paul Fussell said about the letters of World War II, and his thoughts are still relevant today: “Letters were a huge comfort. And mail was vital. We would not have won the war without it. Letters were incredibly important as a motivator for the troops. The message of the incoming mail each time gave rise to delight. " nine0003

My grandfather's letters inspired me to write my own letters. Like his, mine didn't offer anything particularly educational, nothing particularly intelligent. They were simply a way to keep in touch with family and friends during these dark times in human history, they muted the cacophony of digital communications.

Social networks are somewhat like God - they are omnipresent, they are everywhere. But this property of them suppresses the good feelings that we experience. Letters, on the other hand, capture the most human moments of our lives and leave them in eternity for posterity. It is at such moments that I feel closest to friends and loved ones and feel a glimpse of the divine. nine0003

Photo copyright Melissa Banigan

Photo caption

Letters are a way to keep in touch with family and friends during these dark times in human history

What lessons do we hope our descendants will learn from our difficult times?

Some doctors and politicians are comparing the fight against the virus to fighting an invisible enemy, and I wonder how Mary and Eugene Banigan would respond to the recent statement by UN Secretary General António Guterres that the current global health crisis is a major one. since World War II. nine0003

I spent many hours on my grandfather's front-line letters, and I suspect that in our time he would write about the love that he and his grandmother feel for each other, so that later he would use this love as a reliable support in life - regardless of what lies ahead.

I don't have all the answers, but I hope that future generations will remember that there are millions of ways to support each other - instead of being clever and chastising each other on social media.

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