Cure for codependency
Recovery from Codependency | Psych Central
Recovery from codependency can be a challenging process that requires ongoing maintenance. You can learn how to conquer codependency in just a few steps.
If you tend to put your partner’s needs and wants before your own, you may be in a codependent relationship.
What may begin as a persona or posture of selflessness, can warp into a compulsive codependent style in relationships where someone will do anything — anything — to make their person happy.
Codependency is a pattern of forsaking your well-being, needs, and self-care to instead put most of your energy into supporting (or enabling) the people in your life.
If you’ve been stuck in codependent thoughts and behaviors for a while, you understand that recovery is a long-term process requiring mindful self-care and self-love.
Recovery from codependency isn’t all or nothing. It will take some time as well as trial and error. Understanding the difference between healthy and unhealthy behaviors and going through all of the required stages and steps can lead you to finally conquering codependency once and for all.
The first step to overcoming codependency in your relationship is learning the difference between unhealthy codependent and healthy interdependent behaviors.
In a codependent relationship, you may put your partner’s needs before your own and not know who you are without the other person, says Holly Schiff, a licensed clinical psychologist in New York and Connecticut.
She adds that someone who’s codependent “may make excuses for the other person and tolerate harmful behavior.”
A healthy, interdependent relationship has mutual respect and no power imbalance. You’re able to rely on your partner for mutual support but can still maintain your identity as a unique individual, explains Schiff.
If you see codependent characteristics in your relationship, it may be time to make a shift and move into interdependency.
Idil Ozturk, a licensed professional counselor in New York, shares what codependent and dependent behaviors may look like in a relationship.
Characteristics of codependent behaviors
- overreliance on a partner to meet most of your needs
- lack of your own identity
- choosing partners that you want to “fix” to feel valued (conscious or subconscious)
- distress when there is a shift in communication
- lack of boundaries, taking responsibility for your partner’s well-being
Characteristics of interdependent behaviors
- relying on partners for some things, but not all things
- having explicit boundaries
- managing disappointment if a disagreement occurs
- a healthy sense of self outside of the relationship, such as your hobbies or friends
- can successfully co-regulate, wherein you can mutually rely on your partner for comfort without taking personal responsibility for their every waking moment
While change is not easy and will take time, it’s possible to heal from codependency.
You can start the process by following these steps:
1. Make self-care a priority
Self-care means valuing yourself and giving yourself love and compassion, says Schiff. She suggests getting back to doing the things that you’ve always enjoyed. Honor your own needs, wants, and feelings by engaging in hobbies and activities that you love.
2. Nurture your social relationships
“In order to overcome codependency, make sure you reconnect with friends and family — nurture your other social relationships,” says Schiff.
When you’re in a codependent relationship you may isolate yourself from others so try and reach out to the people you’ve distanced yourself from to rebuild those relationships.
3. Get comfortable setting and maintaining boundaries
When you’re in a codependent relationship it can be hard to speak up for yourself, or identify what you want, says Ozturk. But “learning to set and maintain boundaries is crucial for any healthy relationship,” says Ozturk.
“It’s important to get comfortable and set boundaries.”
4. Find healthy ways to regulate emotional responses with your partner
It’s natural to long for connection when you’re feeling upset. Ozturk suggests identifying what you need for a warm and responsive interaction with your partner.
“Remember it’s helpful to listen and say ‘I’m here for you,’ even if you can’t solve your partner’s problems.”
5. Practice self-soothing behaviors
To better manage difficult emotions on your own it’s best to develop coping skills, says Ozturk. Learning self-soothing behaviors such as deep breathing or going for a walk can help you manage your emotions.
Healing from codependency takes time. Learning the main signs of codependency is a good place to start. However, speaking with a therapist may help you explore your sense of self so you can better understand why you came to rely so much on another person, explains Schiff.
Trained therapists can also:
- teach you how to set personal boundaries so you can avoid codependent relationships in the future
- help you acknowledge specific patterns of behavior so you can learn how to modify the behaviors for healthier alternatives
- help you change “irrational thoughts, so you can learn how to tolerate uncomfortable emotions
There are online therapy options and support groups as well.
While you vet a therapist it’s still good to “put yourself first and honor your own needs, wants, and feelings,” says Schiff.
Taking time for yourself doesn’t mean you should never consider others’ feelings. It just means that you’re taking the time for your self-care. As the metaphor commonly extrapolated from airplane safety protocol goes: You have to put on your own oxygen mask before seeking to help someone else.
Codependency is focusing on others’ wants and needs before your own. While it’s natural to want to support your loved one, it’s also important to consider your own needs and respect their, and your, boundaries.
If you’re having a hard time working through the steps by yourself, a therapist can offer guidance and support. Remember, it is possible to break the cycle and conquer codependency with consistency and mindfulness.
How to Conquer Codependency | Psychology Today
Source: Kevar Whilby/Unsplash
If you struggle with codependency, wonder if you’re codependent, or just have questions about codependency, this introductory post will give you an overview: What codependency is, where it comes from, and how to start recovering.
What is codependency?
Codependency is a focus on other people’s problems, feelings, needs, and wants while minimizing or ignoring your own. Codependents see other people as more important than themselves and prioritize taking care of them in order to feel needed, loved, or worthwhile. While we all need and rely on other people, codependents are overly dependent on others emotionally. They need others to tell them that their feelings and needs are valid, that their opinions are acceptable, and that they are good enough. They rely on others for their identity and sense of worth.
Following are some of the most common symptoms of codependency. You don’t need to have them all to consider yourself codependent. I find it’s helpful to think of codependency on a spectrum: Some of us experience more symptoms and distress due to codependent traits than others.
- Fixing, helping, or rescuing others gives you a sense of purpose and makes you feel needed (or lovable).
- You focus on other people and their problems and ignore your own feelings and needs.
- You may enable, give unsolicited advice, nag, or be controlling.
- You often feel worried or anxious, guilty, and ashamed.
- You're self-critical and possibly perfectionistic.
- You feel responsible for everyone and everything.
- You don't have a strong sense of who you are, what you like, how you feel, or what matters to you.
- You're a people-pleaser who will sacrifice what you want or need to avoid upsetting or disappointing others.
- You have trouble setting boundaries and being assertive.
- Intimacy, open communication, and trust are difficult.
- You have difficulty asking for and accepting help.
- You’re afraid of abandonment, criticism, and rejection, which can lead to people-pleasing, a lack of boundaries, and tolerating mistreatment.
- You’re probably hard-working, overly responsible, and give to the point of exhaustion or resentment.
- You suppress or numb your feelings and absorb other people’s feelings.
- You have low self-esteem, feel unlovable, or not good enough.
- You want to feel in control and have a hard time adjusting when things don’t go according to plan or the way you want.
What is a codependent relationship?
Codependent relationships are unbalanced. Typically, one person becomes overly responsible, which enables the other to under-function and avoid responsibility. Often the other person struggles with addiction, mental illness, or emotional immaturity. And they remain stuck, in part, because the codependent makes excuses for them, takes over their responsibilities, and makes sure they’re taken care of.
You can develop a codependent relationship with a spouse, child, parent, or friend. And it’s quite likely that if you have multiple codependent traits, that many of your relationships are affected.
Codependents focus on trying to please, help, fix, and control other people and situations. We can become so wrapped up in other people’s problems—obsessed at times— that we lose track of who we are, what we want, and how to be happy within ourselves.
What causes codependency?
Many people who grew up in dysfunctional families struggle with codependency in adulthood. Codependent traits usually develop as a result of childhood trauma, often in families in which a parent is addicted, mentally ill, abusive, or neglectful. These traits can be passed down from one generation to the next in dysfunctional families. Codependent traits serve a purpose in childhood —they help us cope with scary, confusing, and unpredictable family lives—but they cause us problems in adulthood.
How do you recover?
Healing from codependency means rebalancing ourselves: Instead of focusing so much on what others need, we must consider our own needs and make them a priority. This doesn’t mean that you should never consider other people’s needs or take care of them; it just means that your needs are as important as other people’s and that if you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll end up depleted, resentful, and unfulfilled.
Healing from codependency includes not only knowing what you need, but asking for it.
We can’t continue to feel and act like victims or martyrs. We must learn to communicate assertively, stand up for ourselves, set boundaries to protect ourselves from being mistreated, and create relationships where we give and receive.
Healing from codependency also includes getting to know yourself. Often, codependents spend so much time thinking about and trying to take care of or appease others that they lose touch with themselves. So, we need to intentionally explore who we are—what we like, what’s important to us, what our goals are, and so forth.
And as we heal from codependency, we need to treat ourselves with kindness. Codependents tend to be hard on themselves, self-critical, and unforgiving. This is both unwarranted and unhelpful. Instead, we should offer ourselves kindness, acceptance, and support, treating ourselves as we would a dear friend. Self-compassion is another way to value and care for ourselves and it’s been shown to increase resiliency and motivation and decrease stress.
You can conquer codependency. Recovery is a process and it can be overwhelming when you think about all the changes you want to make. But the good news is that recovery isn’t all or nothing. You can benefit from making even just a few small changes. Take it slowly, and with consistent practice, support, and learning new skills you will gradually feel more confident and know you’re on the path to recovering from codependency.
Overcoming codependency in alcoholism and drug addiction - useful information for relatives
- Motivation for treatment
- Codependency Syndrome
- Causes of addiction
- Symptoms and signs of dependence
- Seminars for relatives
- Daily routine
Free consultation
Licenses
Emergency call
Patient transport to hospital by car "Ambulance"
Call an ambulance
home
Relatives
codependency syndrome
The manifestation of chemical dependence is not only in what concerns the patient himself (destruction of the psyche, personal degradation), but also in the destruction of relationships with others.
Frequent companions of addiction: lies, aggressive behavior, theft, all kinds of manipulations, irresponsibility - cause an acute, sometimes painful and, as a rule, inadequate reaction of relatives of an addicted person. nine0017
Beliefs, threats, words of love, the “carrot and stick” method, contradictory and illogical actions only lead to the fact that the disease manifests itself even more strongly, and the relatives of the patient have a feeling of guilt, shame, fear, humiliation and hopelessness - this is codependency from alcoholism.
Women (mother, spouse, daughter) most often become co-dependent family members (mother, spouse, daughter - they are the ones who need to overcome co-dependence), who take on all the hardships of coexistence in the same house with a sick person who does not want to be treated and does not take into account the experience of relatives. nine0017
Manifestations of codependency in alcoholism and drug addiction:
- anxiety, constant nervous tension, feeling of fear
- loss of interest in oneself, work, once loved business
- rupture of former ties - with friends, relatives, closeness from society
- criticism of the patient, from mild exhortations to harsh statements and open conflicts
- feeling of despair - when everything is tried, but there are no results, people co-dependent on alcoholism fall into apathy and depression
- lack of understanding that overcoming codependence is one of the first and necessary steps on the way to a normal family life, once calm and happy.
Family members who are co-dependent on alcoholism or drug addiction of a loved one often do not understand that one should start not so much with instructing the patient on the true path, but with himself. First of all, you should change your vision of the situation, look at everything that happens from a different point of view. Overcoming codependency is a real problem that requires professional intervention and certain steps towards yourself. nine0017
Treatment of codependency should begin with the realization of a simple truth: you cannot live your life for another person. But the woman loses interest in herself, making titanic efforts to heal a nearby patient. They are sure that they are guided by a sense of duty, responsibility, and finally, awareness of the danger of such a lifestyle for the addict himself, in essence, depriving him of responsibility for his own recovery. They are firmly convinced that they must sacrifice themselves for the sake of a loved one.
A typical misconception: "Let him feel good, then he will not drink." At the same time, for some reason, they forget to ask him about whether they equally understand the meaning of the titanic efforts being undertaken. To treat codependency, there must be a motive to become different - strong, confident, happy. nine0017
However, the desire to overcome codependency (even if there is one) is not enough. Relatives of psychoactive substance addicts often notice a connection between the deterioration of their health and the progression of a relative's illness, but they cannot break out of the circle that they themselves have closed - by taking responsibility for the recovery of a drug addict or alcoholic. The disease destroys the house, the family in which she settled, destroys the material well-being of relatives and friends, their health, undermines their social status. Responding to these challenges, guided by a sense of pity and guilt, means driving yourself into a dead end from which there is no way out.
nine0017
Narcologists are well aware of the situation when relatives realize the need to treat codependency, but do not take concrete action: they no longer have the strength. How to get out of the impasse and stop running in circles? Contact the Marshak Clinic. Overcoming codependency requires professional support. Here, friendly participation and sympathy cannot be dispensed with.
Overcoming codependency in the family is of great importance for the successful return of the patient to a full life without alcohol and drugs, therefore, the course of treatment at the Marshak Clinic involves the work of psychologists with the patient's relatives. Co-dependence treatment at family sessions is carried out by experienced specialists who help loved ones to take a fresh look at the situation, learn to recognize manipulations and create conditions in which the recovering person will feel not only the support of the family, but also responsibility for their future. Methods of psychotherapy aimed at treating codependency allow showing relatives how to change relationships in the family in order to minimize the risk of a "breakdown" after the patient returns from the hospital, to return harmony and trust to family life.
nine0017
It is possible to treat addiction only by creating an intolerable environment for it: when everyone affected by it, and, first of all, relatives and friends of the addict, will treat it from the standpoint of their own safety. Only such an approach to overcoming codependency gives the patient the opportunity to realize his own responsibility for recovery. Codependency treatment is an important step in the recovery of an alcoholic and drug addict. Not treating codependence in this case means showing irresponsibility towards your loved one. Take action! Call the Marshak Clinic, we will listen to you and tell you what to do next. nine0017
- 1. Initial consultation with a specialist in treatment programs
- 2. Doctor's consultation / Doctor's home visit
- 3. Doctor's appointment at the clinic and hospitalization
- 4. Detoxification
- 5. Treatment and diagnostic program
- 6. Medical Council
- 7. Treatment and rehabilitation program
- 8.
Outpatient treatment and support nine0003 9. Guarantees
-
Initial consultation with a specialist in treatment programs
Phone consultation available at any time of the day
The client tells the specialist about the problem, the specialist explains how the drug addiction treatment process will take place in the center, offers options for suitable treatment programs and announces prices. Often, addicts are unaware of or minimize their problem. The specialist explains how to properly motivate your loved one for treatment in a particular situation. nine0068
Free consultation
-
Stages of treatment
Doctor's consultation / Doctor's home visit
Primary doctor's consultation in a drug treatment clinic or at home
The doctor collects a preliminary medical history, assesses the patient's emotional and physical state, talks about the methods of addiction treatment.
If the addicted person does not recognize his problem and refuses to go to the clinic, the narcologist can go home to the patient and conduct persuasion therapy. AT 9In 0% of cases, our doctors, who have vast experience in working with addicts, manage to do this. It is possible to call a car for a transfer from the airport / home / train station in Moscow. You can also come to the narcology clinic on your own (there is a parking lot). Free consultation
-
Stages of treatment
Doctor's appointment at the clinic and hospitalization
Doctor's appointment and subsequent hospitalization are carried out in the private narcological Marshak Clinic. We guarantee complete anonymity, guided by the Order of the Ministry of Health of the Russian Federation of August 23, 1999g. No. 327 "On anonymous treatment in narcological institutions (subdivisions)"
During the appointment, laboratory and instrumental studies are carried out, then the doctor collects a preliminary history, assesses the emotional and physical state of the patient, selects and prescribes a course of drug addiction treatment in our center, medicines and procedures .
Free consultation
-
Stages of treatment
Detoxification
If necessary, in the first days after admission to narcology, the patient undergoes a detoxification process to relieve acute alcohol or drug intoxication and remove harmful substances from the body. The procedure takes place under the round-the-clock supervision of a narcologist and a nurse. nine0017
Our addiction treatment center uses state-of-the-art drugs for detoxification. UROD (ultra-rapid opium detoxification) possible
Free consultation
-
Stages of treatment
Treatment and diagnostic program
Duration: 7 days
Purpose: restoration of all vital functions, relief of cravings, formation of motivation for recovery and development of an individual most effective course of treatment and rehabilitation
Free consultation
-
Stages of treatment
Council of doctors
The consultation is conducted by doctors: psychiatrist-narcologist, psychiatrist, psychologist, geneticist, neurologist, cardiologist
Purpose: development of an individual treatment program based on genetic analysis (DNA diagnostics), clinical tests, psychological diagnostics.
A conclusion is issued for the patient, which describes the results of genetic analysis, diagnosis of addiction complications and psychological tests, genetic studies, recommendations for diet and Kinesiotherapy nine0017 Free consultation
-
Stages of treatment
Treatment and rehabilitation program
Duration: from 14 days. Can take place entirely in a drug addiction hospital or be a day/night/outpatient
An individual drug addict treatment program is used. Pharmacogenetics (drugs selected based on the results of genetic analysis), hardware methods - Alfa Oxy Spa, ILBI, UBI, biofeedback therapy, psychotherapeutic methods, physiotherapy, CHT, thematic lectures, family sessions with relatives, codependency treatment, individual diet to normalize the neurotransmitter balance
Free consultation
-
Stages of treatment
Outpatient treatment and support
Outpatient program recommended after treatment
An outpatient program is necessary to ensure that the patient is as comfortable as possible to return to everyday life.
After returning to a familiar environment, a person may again have a desire to use. In this case, sessions with a psychologist according to an agreed schedule, mini-groups of AA and NA at the drug addiction treatment center can help. nine0017 Free consultation
-
Stages of treatment
Guarantees
After completing the course of treatment, the private narcological "Marshak Clinic" gives a 2-year guarantee. In case of failure, the patient is taken for a second course free of charge.
Also, within 2 years, the patient can apply to the narcology department with questions to the treating narcologist and psychologist.
Free consultation
Pricing policy
The Marshak Clinic has a fixed price policy. After the conclusion of the contract, the cost of the treatment program does not increase.
The cost of the treatment program at the conclusion of the contract depends on:
Duration of the treatment program
Length of use
Type of addiction
Concomitant diseases
The cost of the program will include everything you need:
Diagnostic and treatment activities
0017
Nutrition
Our specialists
Vashkin Dmitry Vladimirovich
Head physician
More details
21 years General narcological experience
15 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Movchan Dmitry Anatolyevich
Deputy Chief Physician for Medical Affairs
More details
18 years General narcological experience
9 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Aksenova Marina Gennadievna
Supervisor, Candidate of Biological Sciences, Member of the European Society of Geneticists HUGO
More
41 years General narcological experience
21 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Gevara Leonardo Leonardovich
Psychiatrist, narcologist, psychotherapist. Head of the premium department of the Clinic
More details
17 years General narcological experience
9 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Pokrovskaya Anastasia Valerievna
Psychiatrist-narcologist
More
24 years General narcological experience
17 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Avanesova Valentina Aleksandrovna
Psychiatrist-narcologist
More details
18 years General narcological experience
8 years Work experience at the Marshak Clinic
Ivashinenko Dmitry Mikhailovich
Psychiatrist-narcologist, candidate of medical sciences, associate professor
Read more
21 years General narcological experience
7 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Pyatnitsky Bogdan Sergeevich
Psychiatrist-narcologist
More details
6 years General narcological experience
2 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Khairutdinova Yulia Viktorovna
Deputy chief physician for rehabilitation work.
Clinical Psychologist
More details
20 years old General narcological experience
3 years Work experience at the Marshak Clinic
Ekaterina Vashukova
Psychologist, outpatient program director
More
24 years General narcological experience
20 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Keshelava Tina Georgievna
Clinical psychologist
More details
21 years General narcological experience
9 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Andreeva Anna Igorevna
Clinical psychologist
More
20 years General narcological experience
2 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Chilikin Alexander Alekseevich
Psychologist
More details
20 years General narcological experience
9 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Ludmila Anatolyevna Lozovskaya
Social psychologist, clinical psychologist. Deputy Chief Physician for Premium Rehabilitation
Read more
18 years old General narcological experience
3 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Milovidova Vasilisa Evgenievna
Psychologist
More details
22 years General narcological experience
17 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Nesterova Tatyana Aleksandrovna
Clinical psychologist
More details
11 years General narcological experience
3 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Lyubov Dmitrievna Bonetskaya
Clinical psychologist, pathopsychologist, gestalt therapist
More details
5 years General narcological experience
2 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Gorbachev Denis Eralievich
Psychologist
More details
10 years General narcological experience
6 years Work experience at the Marshak Clinic
Alexey Samarov
Instructor of kinesiogenic therapy, rehabilitation program consultant
Read more
22 years General narcological experience
17 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Galushko Yuri Viktorovich
Senior Consultant. Behavioral Disorder Specialist
More details
13 years General narcological experience
11 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Safonov Denis Sergeevich
Clinical psychologist
More details
5 years old General narcological experience
3 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Tolokolnikov Maxim Sergeevich
Psychologist
More
8 years General narcological experience
2 years Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Milekhina Anna Alexandrovna
Senior nurse
More details
19 General narcological experience
10 Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Logacheva Liliya Vladimirovna
Nurse
More details
16 General narcological experience
8 Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Boydakov Andrey Nikolaevich
Chef
More details
18 General narcological experience
14 Work experience in the Marshak Clinic
Patents and certificates
4 steps.
How to recover from codependence The article was written by Anna Vladimirovna Nazarenko, founder and head of the Clinic for Eating Disorders, psychologist, expert on eating disorders, author of methods for treating anorexia, bulimia, compulsive overeating. nine0482
Read also : 12 Codependency Symptoms. Are you in a codependent relationship?
Codependency is viewed as a serious relationship problem or even a mental illness. Previously, this term was used in relation to families of alcoholics and drug addicts, but over the past 10 years of our work, we can say with confidence that the majority of food addicts suffer from codependency. Yes, it's definitely a relationship issue. But it is important to understand that the source of the problem is not your partner, but yourself. It is your psychological problems that are reflected in the relationship. nine0017
Codependency tends to exacerbate all other addictions. The key term in this case is "addiction" - from another person, from illegal drugs, alcohol or from a certain type of activity (gambling addiction, sexual addiction).
But instead of dealing with yourself, you put something or someone in the center of your attention. Over time, all your thoughts, feelings and actions begin to "revolve" around this person, substance or hobby. In the end, you forget about your own psychological problems, leaving them unresolved. nine0017
To get rid of codependency you will have to radically reconsider your relationship with yourself, learn to respect yourself and realize your needs. For a successful cure, you need to develop the following qualities in yourself:
- Independence
- Independence (autonomy)
- Openness
- Consistency of moral principles, thoughts, feelings and actions.
Change is not always easy. Besides, it takes time. You have to sequentially go through 4 stages:
1. Abstinence. "Temperance" or moderation is the first step towards getting rid of codependency. The point is to shift the “center of attention” to yourself, to begin to control the situation “from the inside”. 2. Awareness. It is said that denial is a sure sign of the existence of an addiction. And it doesn’t matter “who in your couple is an alcoholic.” Not only are codependent partners in denial about their personal addiction—be it drugs, gambling, or a partner—they deny their feelings and, most importantly, their needs, especially the need for emotional support and true intimacy. 3. Acceptance. Successful healing is impossible without self-acceptance. Moreover, this is not just some single “step”, but “a lifelong journey”. People very often come to a psychologist to change, instead of accepting themselves. 4. Action. All previous stages are good in themselves. However, to consolidate the effect, it is important that Awareness and Acceptance of oneself be accompanied by appropriate behavior. This means that you need to learn how to take certain risks and get out of your comfort zone. You may have to do something you've never done before, try something new, go somewhere alone, or set boundaries in a relationship. You will also need to deal with the inner critic, learn to say “no” to others, or get rid of old addictions. Do not expect others to change and make you happy - it is better to take a step towards your happiness yourself. Find something for yourself that brings you satisfaction and joy. These 4 steps are just a general plan of action. Use all the possibilities available to you. Start keeping a diary and write down everything you learn about yourself so you don't forget anything. For help in treatment, you can contact the specialists of the Anna Nazarenko Clinic, who have been successfully working with addictions for more than 10 years. You can also find a psychotherapist in your city who works with addictions, however, please note that your specialist must have the appropriate education and experience working with addictions, and not deal with this "along with" other problems. According to the gradation of phobias, neuroses, dependence is the most complex mental problem and professional education and extensive experience are needed to solve it. nine0017 Learn to love yourself, become your support and faithful assistant on the path to recovery. What is RPP? Causes, Symptoms, Signs and Treatments in 2019 Tags: What is an Eating Disorder? Types of Eating Disorders Causes of Eating Disorders Signs and Symptoms of Eating Disorders Treatment of Eating Disorders Theses on Eating Disorders nine0017 7 Reasons Why You Start Gaining Weight By Trying To Lose Weight By Vomiting After Eating Tags: Many mistakenly believe that vomiting after eating helps to get rid of excess weight, especially if there is a "cleansing" after each meal.
This means that all your actions should be based primarily on your personal values, needs, desires, and not on someone else's. At the same time, it is important to understand that you can never become completely autonomous in your actions - you still have to depend on other people, compromise in relationships ... But at the same time, you become more independent and learn to make decisions “autonomously”. If your partner suffers from some kind of addiction or if you grew up in a family where one of the parents had an addiction, it is only natural that you may be afraid of not pleasing your partner. And it will take some courage to break that mindset and stop giving your partner power over your life. nine0017 
Perhaps you grew up in a family where no one cared about your emotional needs, where your opinion was ignored and your feelings were not respected - ie. your emotional needs were not being met. Over time, in order not to once again take risks and not face criticism, you learned to ignore your needs and feelings and began to believe that they were wrong. You may have chosen to become self-sufficient or find solace in sex, food, drugs, alcohol, or work. However, all this eventually forms a low self-esteem. To get rid of these harmful behavioral habits, you first need to acknowledge their existence. The main thing is not to criticize yourself in any way. Too many of us completely ignore the "inner perfectionist" who constantly pushes us and criticizes our actions. nine0017 
The secret is that before you change something, you need to realize and accept the current situation. As the saying goes, "Don't resist the inevitable!" Be prepared for the fact that you have to learn a lot about yourself that you have to come to terms with. Life itself is full of limitations and losses that can only be accepted. This is maturity. It is acceptance that opens the door to new possibilities, new ideas and possibilities that were previously “suppressed” by your self-criticism and constant struggle with reality. For example, when you feel lonely, guilty, or just sad, you don't need to make things worse. Instead of criticizing yourself and blaming yourself for what happened - take pity on yourself, allow yourself to let go of these feelings. Self-acceptance means that you no longer need to try to please others out of fear of not pleasing them. You begin to respect your feelings by forgiving yourself and those around you. Your self-esteem and self-confidence grows - you have an "immunity" to the actions of others.
In your actions, you are guided solely by your inner voice, not allowing others to dictate how you live. You make decisions on your own, learn to defend your point of view, convince others that you are right. This makes it easier for you to connect with other people. nine0017 
Every time you try something new, you take some kind of risk - you get to know yourself and your needs better. You have a better understanding of your abilities, increased self-confidence and increased self-esteem. In this way, you create a powerful “counterweight” to codependency, which, on the contrary, “gravitates” to depression, insecurity, and low self-esteem. Words give rise to actions. They are powerful and reflect your self-worth. The ability to defend your point of view is perhaps your most important “weapon” against codependency. But to do this, you must first accept yourself and stop conforming to other people's expectations. You need to learn to set boundaries, respect yourself and your needs. Your ultimate goal is to become the "author" of your life, to decide for yourself how you live and what to do. nine0017 
Learn more
