Letter to disrespectful son
Mom is fed up with disrespectful son – writes him a letter to teach him a lesson
It’s been nearly 5 years since it was written, but a viral letter from a mom to her son is making the rounds on the Internet yet again and sparking debate among parents about how to deal with children when they’re disrespectful.
At 13 years old, Aaron Johnson sounded like a pretty typical teenager. No one is at their best at that age, we’re all a bit clueless about the sacrifices our parents make for us, and we tend not to be very appreciative of the things we have.
Heidi Johnson via TODAY
Then again, it’s up to our parents to steer us away from entitled behavior. That’s what mom Heidi Johnson was trying to do when she wrote her son a note that accidentally went viral on Facebook when she posted it publicly instead or just to family and friends, as she had originally intended.
After Aaron started earning money from his YouTube channel, he began treating his mom as more of an equal (or “roommate”), she said, than respecting her as a parent.
When she posted the letter laying out the consequences for his actions, she captioned the post:
“The child is going to have a rude awakening today after the words he exchanged with me last night. Not only will be find this on the door, but his mattress stripped, and the toys and clothes that I bought confiscated. He will have three options.. Buy his own, rent his clothes at $3 a day, or renegotiate his terms of being a child. Mama’s done playing games and being a doormat.”
Mama was not messing around.
Here’s her letter, complete with an itemized receipt for his items and her services.
No one knows what it’s like to live with another person’s child or what’s best for them. And even if they did, it would still be the parent’s decision (within reason) as to how to handle any bad behavior.
While it’s not worth getting into the vitriol she experienced as a result of the letter, no one will be surprised to know there was backlash.
But she also got a lot of support.
In a follow-up post, she explained that she needed to do something that would make a lasting impression on her son and that she loves her child dearly.
Of course, his reaction was roughly what you would expect at the time. He crumped the note and stormed out of the apartment.
But Johnson said that walking off anger is what she’s always taught her son to do. However, it was going to take more than one walk.
“He was still livid when he got home. He decided to stage a ‘sit in in my room, where he did laugh at me and repeat, ‘Really? What are you going to do? You can’t take my stuff, etc.’ He was asked to leave my room, and when he could be respectful, and I was more calm, we would discuss it further. He went to his room, and after about an hour, he had removed some electronics and items I missed that he felt he should have to earn back for his behavior. He apologized, and asked what could he do to make things better and start earning items back. He earned his comforter and some clothes right back. I did leave him some clothes to begin with, just not the ones he would want to wear everyday. He also had some pillows and sheets, just not his favorite ones.”
Tough love? Sure. But within reason.
And it’s clear by her son’s reaction that mom knew they could come to an understanding – he just needed a reality check first (you know, like most 13-year-olds do).
Despite the reconciliation, the pair realized there was still work to do to come to an agreement about responsibilities. Johnson presented Aaron with a contract stipulating what chores he was expected to do and when, as well as the consequences of breaking the contract.
Despite the flack she got for her approach to discipline, her son stepped up. Some of the online comments even helped him think through the issues in play. (Now THAT’S the sign of a well-adjusted kid!)
Johnson reported a few weeks later that things were going well:
“The bigger point is, the message was received. I think a lot influenced his very sudden change in heart. Not that I didn’t think he would come around, but he came around even quicker than I expected. We spent a long time talking about how I don’t ask that much from him, or require anything well beyond his age capabilities; but he also read a lot of your responses, and that affected him as well.”
Now that the letter is once again making the rounds, even Aaron himself has commented on it. And it appears family members are trying to take his side – but he’s reiterating that mom was right.
Regardless of what you think of the letter, it’s clear that things worked out for the best.
Johnson’s approach might not be the best for every parent, but even her own son is happy to admit it was just what he needed at the time.
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Heidi Johnson via Facebook
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Jessica is a contributor at SBLY Media.
A letter to … my adult son, who can’t stand on his own two feet | Family
Oh, my son. You sounded so bitter when you compared what I have in the bank with what you have. I know you are broke. You pay child support, repay debts, pay something towards your keep. You have high travel costs and a long journey each day, and that doesn’t leave much for cups of coffee at work, or nights out with your mates.
What you can’t remember is the struggle when you were little to get round the supermarket with enough money in my purse, or to find dinner money for you, when Dad managed to wangle his way round the Child Support Agency. You didn’t realise how devastated I was when I gave you as much as I did to avoid student loans to find you’d taken them anyway.
You laugh that I buy clothes from charity shops, that I buy food past its sell-by date, that I love my bus pass
I worked long and hard for my pension. I shouldn’t have to worry about money, although now you are living here I find myself spending more than my pension.
You laugh at me for buying clothes from charity shops and food past its sell-by date, and because I love my bus pass. Although I do have some of my lump sum left, how do I replace it if it gets spent now that I am retired? What if I need to mend my roof, or replace the car?
You have forgotten that I shared the money I inherited with you. Remember how often you still came with a bill that needed to be paid or not enough money for your train? At first I just gave it. Then I’d say it was a loan, but it never got paid back because you’d start a fight and I’d say the money didn’t matter.
What matters is that my goodness and generosity was so stupid. Instead of the strong, independent person I’d hoped to bring up, I have this angry young man who takes no responsibility for his plight.
I have always believed that whatever you give, you get back double. Now I have to recognise that by giving to you so often and so readily, I have created a person who is not nice to know, who just expects more, who takes it all for granted and who doesn’t know how to say thank you.
I fear for your next partner, if you find one.
I can’t put you out – you have nowhere to go and nowhere to take your kid when you have him. Besides, I love having my grandson here, and you are my boy. But if I ask you to budget what little you have, you mock me. I am scared to question anything. And you continue to pile up debt.
I remember when you were small, and trusting, and how I loved you so much I’d have run into a burning house to rescue you. But, looking back, I now recognise I have done you no favours. But somehow, I couldn’t say no. Deep down did I blame myself for leaving your dad, for working too many hours, so I always rushed to rescue you too fast, never reprimanding, never blaming, never even letting you feel embarrassed as you asked for something else?
I should have made you stand on your own two feet and left you to sort out your own problems.
So in 2016, I intend to do just that. Maybe.
Chapter Three "By the Grace of God" Prince Caleb, son of Jethunneh, a Keneseite.Bible for Believers and Unbelievers
"By the Grace of God" Prince Caleb, son of Jephunniah, Keneseite
The exploiting classes needed, and still need, religion as an instrument for strengthening and perpetuating their rule. We have seen more than once how the Bible justifies slavery. In the story of the drunken Noah and his irreverent son Ham, the Bible explains slavery with a tale about the curse of this irreverent son forever and ever. In the book of Joshua (IX) we saw an example when an entire tribe during the war turns into serfs for Jewish churchmen (this was the case with the serfs of Christian monasteries and churches). Barons, knights, counts, princes, boyars, nobles in all countries at one time tried to ensure that the clergy portrayed the slavish state of the people as legitimized by God. And even more they tried to ensure that their power, their dominance in the eyes of the people was of divine origin. That is why they were called princes and emperors. 0007 by the grace of God"; these highway robbers not only robbed, but robbed and ruled in the name of god.
Chapter XIV of the book of Joshua tells how one such nimble prince Caleb, the son of some Jephonniah, took possession of the city of Hebron in the name of God. This prince appeared to Joshua (who, according to the Bible, allegedly replaced the non-existent Moses in deceiving the people in the name of the god Jehovah) and, according to the Bible, addressed the following speech:
“You know what the Lord said to Moses, the man of God, about me and about you in Kadesh-Barna; I was forty years old when Moses, the servant of the Lord, sent me from Kadesh-Barnea to inspect the land, and I brought him in response what was in my heart: my brothers who walked with me brought the heart of the people into timidity, and I exactly followed the Lord my God; and Moses swore that day and said: “The land on which your foot has walked will be your inheritance and your children forever, for you have exactly followed the Lord my God” (XIV, 6-9).
As you can see, if you ask this princeling on what basis he owns the land, it would turn out that he has divine right: how, he was once a scout, a spy in this country, brought a report to Moses, and he swore that he would give him this land! It can be seen that the old man was strong; at least he boasted:
“Now, behold, I am 85 years old; but even now I am as strong as when Moses sent me: how much strength I had then, so much now I have in order to fight and go out and go in; so give me this mountain that the Lord spoke of that day; for you heard on that day that the sons of Anak (dwell) there, and their cities are large and fortified; Perhaps the Lord will be with me, and I will drive them out, as the Lord said” (Joshua, XIV, 10-12). nine0003
We didn't add a word to this great speech. Here you see, peasants and workers, how religion justifies the seizure by princes of vast land holdings, how they obtained power over the peoples in the name of God. If the biblical Joshua was the defender of the masses, he would have given a good kick to this impudent old man who wanted to take possession of the land on the basis of a conversation that supposedly took place 45 years ago. What is really happening?
“Jesus blessed him and gave him as an inheritance to Caleb, the son of Jephunneh, the Keneseite, Hebron. Thus Hebron remained the inheritance of Caleb, the son of Jethoiniin, the Keneseite, to this day, because he exactly followed (the command) of the Lord God of Israel ”(XIV, 13-14). nine0003
For a long time, centuries, millennia, this "divine right" of crowned and uncrowned masters reigned over the world. Over a vast part of the globe, in all bourgeois countries, it still reigns. When the peasants begin to see clearly, they oppose this "divine" right, but they are still religious and some of them also try to justify their right to land in the name of God. And then they say: "The earth is nobody's, the earth is God's."
But here comes the proletarian revolution. She approves a new right0007 the right to work - in the name of the revolution, the will of the working people.
"Only we, the workers of the world,
Great Army of Labor,
We have the right to own land,
But never parasites!
The proletarian revolution tore the crowns from the crowned villains, revealed the deceit of religion. She declared the land to be the property of the people. In the Constitution of the USSR, land is declared the property of the whole people and assigned to collective farms for free and indefinite, i.e., eternal use. To those who work, the land belongs to them. People in other countries also come to this truth, opposing the power of the exploiters, freeing themselves from the deceit of religion, destroying any "divine right" of the exploiters. nine0003 Caleb
Caleb When the Israelites, on their way to the promised land, were already on its borders in Cadiz-Barnea, God commanded Moses to choose one person from the twelve tribes and send them to inspect the land of Canaan and to collect information about the abundance of the fruits it produces, aboutnine0044 CALEV
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