Is masterbation better than sex


Is Masturbation Better Than Sex?

People often worry that they find masturbation better than sex. So here’s some advice if this is something that you think about.

I think it’s fine for you to enjoy solo masturbation more than other forms of sex. You do you. I’ll explain why people might prefer it, and maybe you might think about whether this is true for you.

Sorry, Wrong Question

So first of all the question is wrong for three reasons. Sorry about that.

  1. Masturbation is sex and so if something is a thing it can’t be better than that thing. This is called philosophy.
  2. The question implies that the only kind of sex that is real sex is sex with another person, which is wrong. Solo sex is sex.
  3. It also makes out that masturbation itself isn’t sex and that only penetration is ‘real’ sex. There is no ‘real sex’, just sex.

I think that if we start to see sex as what may or may not be enjoyable to us, rather than what is ‘real’ or not, then we might find it easier to enjoy.

Is Masturbation Better Than Penetrative Sex With Another Person?

Yes. For many people masturbation, by themselves, is more enjoyable than penetrative sex with another person. It can be many people’s absolute favourite thing to do – even if they are in a sexual relationship with another person.

Since I wrote this article I’ve had a lot of people write to me saying ‘thanks for writing this, this is how I feel about masturbation and sex’.

So why do people worry about this? Well, mostly because of the above. We are still stuck with this idea that the most important reason that people have sex isn’t to enjoy it, but to have kids. This is ‘normal’ sex. This can make us feel really crap about ourselves if we have any other kind of sex, because it’s not nice not to feel normal.

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Solo Sex

Some people just prefer not to have sexual and/or romantic relationships with other people. It doesn’t mean that they don’t like sex, they just want to do it with themselves. Maybe they have had difficult relationships in the past, or just don’t really feel very connected to many people. Perhaps they’ve had sex with other people and it was crap, or non-consensual and just don’t want to go back there. There are many reasons why people just prefer to have sex with themselves – and it’s totally totally okay.

Nobody Does It Better

Even if they are interested in having sex with other people sometimes they just don’t come close to being as good as they are by themselves. It can be really difficult or take a long time to work out what kind of sex you like by yourself. Sharing that with someone else and then trying to meet their needs can be too much like hard work.

Try as they might, another person often just can’t touch you in just the right way that you want to touch yourself. Of course one answer is to masturbate next to your partner. But even then the other person might just put you off your game. So if this is you and you think you’d prefer to just do it by yourself, that’s totally fine.

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Fantasy

Some people are really into skin on skin sensations. Touching someone, being touched or touching themselves can be the biggest turn on for many people. However, for many other people this just doesn’t do it for them and instead need to/want to fantasise to enjoy sex. This could be running through a complex story in their head, or just imagining what it’s like to have sex with someone, or it could be watching porn.

This isn’t really something that many people feel okay about because it’s rarely talked about. What did you get taught about fantasies in Sex Ed? Nothing right? Nowadays people also talk about being addicted to masturbation too, which makes this worse. Also when we just talk about the problems of porn we make people feel bad about something which people may just prefer even where there is little evidence to say that porn is harmful (more on that here). Added to all the stuff above about masturbation then people can feel really bad about fantasising and masturbation.

As I say in this recent article, it’s totally okay to have fantasies and having them doesn’t mean that they are something you want to do in real life. Sometimes it’s just better or safer to masturbate by yourself whilst fantasising – so this is another reason why masturbation can be better than sex with someone.

Struggling With Masturbation?

Of course you might not always be okay with preferring masturbation to other kind of sex or sex with someone else. But before you make your mind up that this is you, I think you should think about all of the stuff you’ve been taught about masturbating (and try to forget it).

About People Not Enjoying PIV

Worried About Masturbating Too Much?

Want To Work Out What Kind of Sex You Want?

How To Enjoy Solo Sex More

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10 Reasons Masturbating Is Better Than Sex

Dating

by Amy Horton

Universal Pictures

Are you one of these people who don't masturbate? Please say no.

Masturbating is the best. Some would say it's even better than sex! It's definitely nothing to feel ashamed about.

Here are ten reasons why taking care of your own needs is awesome:

1. You can get off faster.

Sometimes you just want to rub one out and be done with it!

During intercourse with someone else, you have to wait for them to get you there. Often they are less familiar with your body than you are, and so it takes them for-ev-er. Some solo time with a quality vibrator and you can get yourself there in seconds.

2. You take control of your own pleasure.

Maybe you don't want to get off quickly, even in solo play. With masturbation, you run the show.

If you want to prolong your own orgasm until you're dying and therefore make it more powerful, that's your call. You have total control over what's going on. You have different needs on different days, and you can tend to those accordingly!

3. You can be selfish.

No need to worry about how someone else is doing because no one else is involved. You don't have to think about a partner who may or may not be enjoying the sex.

It's all about you, yourself, and YOU. Enjoy that. You can take all the time in the world to figure out exactly what you want and need.

4. You aren't self-conscious.

If you are... well, then we have bigger problems to discuss.

There's no one to see how your stomach looks or to judge your funny orgasm faces. You don't have to waste any time worrying about body parts jiggling or setting up flattering lighting for your body. All you have to do is spend some quality time loving on your wonderful self.

5. It doesn't matter if you're having a "fat day".

No reason to cancel sex plans with yourself because you had too many margs last night. You should never feel like you're "too fat" to have sex anyway, but obviously there's always less pressure when no one else is looking! Sprawl out in all your sexy glory and let those ab muscles relax while you focus on what really matters.

6. It also doesn't matter if your legs are shaved.

Same goes for grooming — you don't have to feel like you need to clean up for yourself.

If you're still worried about tending to all that regardless of whether a man is around, combine the two: get a waterproof vibrator and take it into the tub with you. Good times...

7. There are a ton of fun toys to use.

You can incorporate toys into sex as well, but you must have a willing partner.

In solo play, the only opinion that matters is yours. Feel free to experiment and try anything and everything. It's the only way to figure out what gets you off.

8. You can do and say whatever you want.

It can get real weird when you bust out the dirty talk with someone who isn't into it. When you're taking care of your own pleasure, you can say and do whatever you need to get yourself off.

Judgement be damned - have a good time! You don't need to feel silly. No one else knows what went down.

9. It's portable pleasure.

You might not even need to carry around anything at all! Even if you aren't into digital stimulation and you need something motorized to get off, there are so many small and discreet vibrators. You could carry one in your purse if you really want. That means you can rub one out anywhere and everywhere. No second person required!

10. You don't need someone else to do it!

What could be better than knowing exactly how to give yourself a rocking orgasm? Yeah, hopefully someday someone else will do that same thing for you. But in a pinch, or even NOT in a pinch, masturbation will always be there like a reliable old (naughty) friend. Having the sexual independence to dictate your own pleasure is pretty cool.

I like masturbation more than sex. Who has the same?

#1

#2

9000 You are ordinary frigida

#4

#5

#6

#7

Matryoshka

Let me tell you a secret. A woman can only get an orgasm clitorally, so if you like this way of getting an orgasm, that's fine. True, the method of obtaining this is strange)) all the same, through clothes it is even traumatic, I think so. Try vacuum clitoral stimulators, and also engage your partner in caresses to get an orgasm. And the vagina is intended for us for childbirth, no matter how sad it may sound, such is nature, and we rarely get pleasure from caresses THERE. The fact that you are squeamish is also not good. You will set yourself up for disgust, you will never get real pleasure from sex. nine0005

#8

Matryoshka

I'll tell you a secret. A woman can only get an orgasm clitorally, so if you like this way of getting an orgasm, that's fine. True, the method of obtaining this is strange)) all the same, through clothes it is even traumatic, I think so. Try vacuum clitoral stimulators, and also engage your partner in caresses to get an orgasm. And the vagina is intended for us for childbirth, no matter how sad it may sound, such is nature, and we rarely get pleasure from caresses THERE. The fact that you are squeamish is also not good. You will set yourself up for disgust, you will never get real pleasure from sex. nine0005

#9

Guest

damn... I masturbate exactly the same
I can only lie in bed and on my stomach, through underwear
either so or not..
I will also have problems in sex

#11

Author

Think... you didn't tell me the secret. Why do you think that you are the smartest person?))
What is traumatic? I hate to touch the clitoris directly.
I tried a lot of things, I'm writing.
God, the crown presses on people's heads and chsv, that's why they read hell knows what place))
It's not about disgust at all. If you smell a ram, you won't like it unless you're a copro, same with me with body odors. They make me sick on a physical level. It has nothing to do with arrogance. nine0005

#12

Author

You are wrong. Learn materiel and read what frigidity is. Google to the rescue.

#13

#14

9000 9000 9000

#16

Matryoshka

What crown and hsv? You wrote here to ask for advice / opinions, I answered you. nine0071 Treat your head, it looks like your sexual problems are coming from there

#17

Matryoshka

I'll tell you a secret. A woman can only get an orgasm clitorally, so if you like this way of getting an orgasm, that's fine. True, the method of obtaining this is strange)) all the same, through clothes it is even traumatic, I think so. Try vacuum clitoral stimulators, and also engage your partner in caresses to get an orgasm. And the vagina is intended for us for childbirth, no matter how sad it may sound, such is nature, and we rarely get pleasure from caresses THERE. The fact that you are squeamish is also not good. You will set yourself up for disgust, you will never get real pleasure from sex. nine0005

#18

Guest

why can this be traumatic?

#19

Author

Because you think you are smarter than others. This is evident from your posts.

#20

Guest

everything is fine with you
find a guy *** and live in peace
you should not have sex for the sake of your man, even if it is rare

#21

Burning pepper

will now run special, which know poorly, and will begin to talk about vagial and anal orgasm, and another oral 🤣

#22

Matryoshka

She doesn't write through what clothes she does it. Maybe she is in lace panties, and there is such a fabric (not smooth) that if you rub the place, mother do not cry.

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#23

Matryoshka

And according to your messages, you can see that you are an ill -mannered habalka, good luck

9000 9000 #24

222

#25

#26

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  • 00 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000

    9000 9000

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    9000 9000

    9000

    9000 9000

    9000

    9000

    9000 9000

    9000

    9000 of the year. How to destroy?

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#27

Guest

why don't you use latex wipes instead of underwear?
How do you even do this with underwear and it doesn't get in the way?

#28

#29

Author

Because you think you are smarter than others. This is evident from your posts.

#30

Author

In general, when I started having sex, I was even upset - people describe it in such a way that it seems that this is the only thing worth living for. But in my opinion, it's just another boring activity. Excitation, intimacy with a partner - ok, but sex itself is such an entertainment. He's overrated a lot

#31

uhhh

You're not right in the head, sorry. Contact the experts! nine0005

#32

Guest

These are all men advertising sex. They then get the same fly away. I, too, when I was a virgin, saw enough films about love and thought that sex was something wow, damn cool . .. I lost my virginity ... Not wow at all ... I thought that it might be too early for me wow, like recently I was completely virgin and me there is not developed. Now I'm 40 and still wow.

#33

#34

Author

Because you think you are smarter than others. This is evident from your posts.

#35 There are more than half of them.
Lack of orgasm is associated with the woman's inability to completely surrender to the process and disconnect from the outside world. nine0071 In order to get the maximum pleasure from making love, you need to be a balanced and harmonious personality.

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#37

Author

Where?
It's very rude, you know))
Telling a person that he has an overestimated heart rate is a reason to turn to specialists?
I love these polite bitches - I sent her to a specialist, but for what she apologizes)))

#38

#39

9000 #40 9000

Burning pepper

Nonsense😃 And to go to the toilet, what is needed? 😄

#41

#42

#43

Guest

It's just that your heart rate is going through the roof. The man expressed his opinion, and you out of the blue were offended. And yet - reading your posts - sex is not important, but important. And don't smell the smell. It is very similar to neurosis.

#44

Guest

Author, Are you adequate? They answered you, say thank you

#45

uhhh

where is your head, you know better. nine0071 Well, masturbate to yourself without taking off your trunks - this is really a reason to turn to specialists. And lashing out at people like an old stooped mongrel is another reason to contact

#47

Goose

Author, I understand you perfectly. I read you and everything is like mine, but only the one thing that I cannot touch myself. I use different items that help to get satisfaction not only from the clitoris. I don't give any advice. Just know that there are such and not a small number of girls!

#48

Author

About body odors. I raised two younger sisters. As a teenager, I couldn’t understand why everyone mocked me when I almost threw up from baby diapers. I was naturally sick, I ran to the toilet several times to ... well, you know, but it passed. nine0071 And others are normal, they don't have such urges.
I study the influence of aromas on our perception. I even found a perfume with a smell similar to the smell of saliva and secretions, god, I have a couple of mm, lie like the dumbest chemical component wrapped in 100500 layers of cotton wool, never opened again.

#49

Author

I am not asexual. I love my husband. Why should I look for someone else?)

#50

Guest

This is just your heart rate going off scale. The man expressed his opinion, and you out of the blue were offended. And yet - reading your posts - sex is not important, but important. And don't smell the smell. It is very similar to neurosis.

Does masturbation replace normal sex? Husband does not want sex

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

Mast

Guest

This is an imitation of an orgasm. When a woman does not experience an orgasm, then the husband on a subconscious level begins to annoy her, usually the woman begins to complain that there is not enough money

#9

Author

I am 25, my husband is 30. Recently married.
Problems with sex. He stands, but morally he does not want sex. As it turned out, he masturbates once a week and he is fine.
I masturbate 2-3 times a week, I always get an orgasm from masturbation. I have never received an orgasm from ordinary sex.
Sex with my husband because he does not want to, less and less, now, for example, it has not been for 3 months and I think this is not a chapel. nine0071 At first I was very offended, I really wanted him and constantly heard a refusal. I know that it's not about me, it's his cockroaches in my head.
I think what to do in general. Of course, sometimes you really want to feel passion, but what can you do. ...
I can't change.
While we live as we live, while tolerable.
But I'm worried about my health.
Does masturbation replace normal sex? So that everything is fine with hormones and there are no stagnations.

#10

dad Summer

I confirm how he is an anist with experience - after N years, I don’t want to masturbate a woman at all! all those sweaty bodies, vaginal squelching, discharge, etc. etc. Do not want. whether business - vzdrochnul, all neatly removed and free. Quickly. Purely. Neatly. Free. No nerves. No risk of STDs.

#11

#13

#14

Science don't speak! such optimization, energy consumption is minimal, the future is behind masturbation

#160005

Dad Summer

VR future, cyberskin, porn dolls. and their combinations. understand - bodily contacts bring us closer to animals. This is inevitable in the hazard of evolution

#18

#19

Summer

But! now the cult of the body, sex is sold on every corner! therefore, sometimes, as an experiment, I still buy a woman for myself. I choose a woman thoughtfully, I choose a delicious woman. So... but God forbid, one out of 10..15 pulls to replace masturbation! And this is a pro, which speaks of ordinary women! well, see for yourself - full of fat, full of broad-haired, who do not know how to work with the vagina. They begin to masturbate - they strive to tear off. we don't - just drool. nine0005

#20

Science

what's wrong with being close to animals?
look how happy and contented they are, especially when they eat

#21

dad Summer

cheating and creating illusions are very annoying. And photoshop, and an advantageous pose. and plastic, and cometics. apply everything to create an image image. porn stars! But in fact, you start to look, and it's terrible. And in the process of the act, all aesthetics disappear completely. nine0005

#22

Guest

Take the rubber. They are better!)

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#23

dad Summer

this may be not bad - but from the point of view of evolutionary theory there is a regression. Our brains are an evolutionary advantage. And the body, and even more so the genitals, are essentially rudiments. Here, for example, women stick out with sis and priests - and thus they are closer to female chimpanzees than men modestly hiding their x at yki. nine0005

#24

#25,0005

dad Summer

I have a vagina cyber skin, and I look towards the realist of Dolles, but while they are expensive and yet clumsily made. and then I'm married, just like the culprit of the opus and realist dollars is unlikely to become a member of our family nine0005

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#27

Pope Summer

Baba, for example, stick out with SIS and priests - and thereby they are closer to female chimpanzees, than men modestly hiding their hiding x u yiki.

#280005

#29

dad and it turns out, close your eyes, don't smell it)) whether it's porn - sometimes they shoot it with 6 takes, the bodies are perfectly worked out in After effects. well, etc. aesthetics should be, not sweaty *** priests

#31

Science

wow, what is your wife saying?

#32

Science

#33

Dad Summer

BUT! now the cult of the body, sex is sold on every corner! therefore, sometimes, as an experiment, I still buy a woman for myself.
I choose a woman thoughtfully, I choose a tasty woman. So... but God forbid, one out of 10..15 pulls to replace masturbation! And this is a pro, which speaks of ordinary women! nine0071 well, see for yourself - full of fat, full of broad-faced, who do not know how to work with the vagina. They begin to masturbate - they strive to tear off. we don't - just drool.

#34

Guest

If I watched 6 Dubes Porn, I would agree to voluntary castration.)))

#35

Dad Summer

no. the brain cannot be a vestige. otherwise it would not have been so large and energy-intensive then. For example, triceps are a vestige, in people who don’t specifically pump them out, they are small and covered with fat. because triceps are needed to stretch the torso onto a tree branch. for nothing else. nine0005

#36

Unusual woman

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#39

dad Summer

but just imagine how hard it is to shoot there! and then some say - here they are paid money for this. And you try to work out 6 takes)) yes, when they almost put the camera in your ass

#40

Guest

came to the conclusion that the brain in some people is completely absent.


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