Is it okay to masturbate a lot
What Happens if You Masturbate Too Much?
Looking back on the pandemic, when social distancing and stay-at-home orders took IRL sex off the table, you might have started masturbating more than you ever have before. (What else was there to do?) While there are clear benefits to masturbation—you’re not going to get a sexually transmitted infection (STI) or accidentally impregnate your partner—you may now be wondering if you're in the habit of masturbating “too much.”
After all, excessive masturbation doesn’t have the best connotation. When we think of guys who masturbate every day, we think of pubescent boys hiding out in their locked rooms, attempting to break their daily “high record.” We don’t think of successful, grown men in loving relationships.
The truth, however, is there’s really no such “thing” as excessive masturbation. "Some people masturbate more than others," according to the International Society for Sexual Medicine. "There is no 'normal' frequency. Some do it daily, some weekly, and some rarely. Some never do." While 27 percent of 30-to-39-year-old men masturbate once a week to a few times a month, that number varies quite a bit by age, according to a 2009 survey of 2,500 American men.
“However often you masturbate, it’s not a problem until it starts affecting your life in negative ways,” says Dan Drake, MFT, LPCC, a certified sex addiction therapist and clinical counselor.
But that doesn't mean that it can't pose a problem, particularly if it interferes with your everyday life.
So when does a harmless masturbation habit turn into an issue? Here are the physical and psychological signs that you may need to give your boner a bit of a breather.
1) You hurt yourself.
Some guys masturbate so often that they actually hurt themselves, says Tobias Köhler, M.D., a urologist at Southern Illinois University. These injuries could be mild (e.g., skin chafing) or a more serious condition like Peyronie’s disease, or scar tissue buildup in the shaft of your penis that can result from using too much pressure while stroking, Köhler explains.
This may sound obvious, but if you’re masturbating so often that you're hurting yourself, you need to cut back, he warns.
2) Your job suffers.
If you can’t complete a work task because you can’t stop thinking about masturbating, that’s when it becomes an issue. If you’re consistently watching porn at work or are you’re late to a meeting because you were masturbating in the bathroom, then you likely have a problem.
3) Your friendships suffer.
Do you cancel on friends because you'd rather stay home and masturbate? Are they getting annoyed by your constant flakiness? Then your masturbation habits could potentially be an issue.
We want to be clear: There's nothing wrong with reserving a night to get down with yourself. That's all well and good, and in fact, feel free to mark that in the calendar now! The cause for concern is when your need to jerk off has a clear negative effect on your relationships.
4) Your sex life suffers.
Some guys who masturbate a lot use one specific type of stimuli—say, certain categories of porn coupled with specific hand movements. When it comes time for them to actually have sex, they find that they can’t recreate the same type of excitement, Dr. Köhler explains.
Basically, if you watch the same porn or use the same hand motions every time you masturbate, it teaches your brain and body to get off that way and that way alone. If you're having sex with a real-life partner, this could cause serious problems, both in terms of keeping it up and getting erect in the first place. “If that happens, you have a problem that needs to be addressed,” says Köhler.
5) You always think about masturbation.
You wake up wanting to masturbate. At lunch, your mind wanders to your favorite porn scene. Your commute home is almost unbearable, because you just want to sit on the couch with a beer and PornHub.
If any of this sounds familiar, and you often find yourself distracted by thoughts of when or how you’re going to yank it next, that’s a strong indication you have a problem, Drake says.
If you realize you have a masturbation problem, what should you do about it?
“There’s nothing unhealthy or problematic with masturbating,” Drake says. “But if it becomes detrimental to your life, then you need to treat it like you would any other harmful habit.” That means doing one of two things: a) cutting yourself off cold turkey, at least for the time being; and b) adopting more of a “harm reduction” approach by setting limits for yourself—for example, making a rule to only masturbate at night.
Considering you probably don't want to give up solo orgasms for the rest of your life—masturbation is, after all, an integral part of any healthy sex life—you'll probably want to opt for the latter approach. Set rules for yourself and see if you can adhere to them. If you can't, and you find yourself slipping back into harmful old habits, consider seeing a therapist, as there might be a deeper psychological issue at play.
Bottom line? Indulging in a little self-love every now and then is fine. It's only when it gets in the way of your actual life—or your actual sex life—that it becomes a problem. But if it’s not negatively interfering with anything, then go ahead and masturbate to your heart’s content!
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Melissa MatthewsHealth Writer
Melissa Matthews is the Health Writer at Men's Health, covering the latest in food, nutrition, and health.
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.
How to Jerk Off - 13 Ways Men Masturbate
Most people with a penis learn to masturbate as quickly and quietly as possible. After all, when you're a testosterone-loaded adolescent, you have to content with the very real risk of your parents or siblings walking in and disturbing your, ah, personal time.
And there isn’t just a fear of getting caught jerking off—there’s also a lot of shame surrounding sexual pleasure when people are younger, says Dr. Uchenna “UC” Ossai, Pelvic PT, certified sexuality counselor and founder of YouSeeLogic, an online sexual education platform. “Few people were told that masturbating is natural and an excellent way to learn more about your sexual pleasure,” she says.
Those secretive, fast-and-furious masturbation habits can spill into adulthood, Shamyra Howard, sexologist and Men's Health advisory panel member, says in Men's Health Best. Sex. Ever. "Many guys are masturbating the same way they did when they were teens—all rushed," she says. "You need to change things up. If you're right-handed, use your left hand; involve sex toys; or try masturbating on your stomach. Also, don't focus only on your genitals. You have a whole body. Get your nipples, perineum, and anus involved."
The options might sound a little overwhelming. If you're sitting there thinking, I'll just go back to my old ways, thanks—WAIT! According to Howard, exploring new ways to masturbate can help benefit your sex life on the whole.
"As long as you're switching things up when you masturbate, you get an opportunity to explore and try different things with your body and to learn what you like," she says. "You can learn how you like your penis touched, which things turn you on, and which angles lead to more pleasure."
Try these 13 masturbation tips and techniques the next time you feel like getting down with yourself, and get ready to feel good—really good.
1) Change the position you masturbate in.
You’ve likely masturbated in the same position now for years, so try switching it up. “If you are a stander, try laying on your back. If you like to sit, stand up,” Dr. UC. says. “Changing positioning can improve your pelvic floor muscle resting tone, which can help improve the blood flow to your penis.” So changing up your masturbation positions won’t only feel good for the novelty, but it may also increase the strength of your erections.
2) Masturbate after you work out.
Do you ever feel really horny after working out? Well, there’s a reason for that. You release hormones while working out, including adrenaline and dopamine a.k.a. the so-called "feel-good" chemical. Dr. UC adds that it’s excellent to masturbate after working out “because your endorphins are quite high, blood flow is great, and your pelvic floor muscles are completely relaxed.”
3) Stimulate the taint (perineum).
"The perineum is the area between the penis and the anus. It's full of nerve endings and very sensitive, so providing some vibration to it can often feel really good," says LELO Sexpert and NYU professor of Human Sexuality Dr. Zhana Vrangalova.
Try pressing a vibrating sex toy to your perineum while stroking your penis with your other hand. Vrangalova recommends either the LELO Lily 2 or the LELO Smart Wand. It's "sure to provide a different kind of orgasm," she says. There are also prostate massagers on the market that stimulate your perineum.
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Lelo LILY™ 2
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Lelo SMART WAND™ Medium
$159 at LELOCredit: Lelo4) Use a Fleshlight (or another masturbation sleeve).
Sex toys aren't just for people with a vulva. For penis-owners, Emily Morse, a sex expert and host of the popular podcast Sex with Emily, recommends the Fleshlight, the popular handheld column that you slip over your junk to simulate the feel of real vaginal or anal sex. (You can even buy an accessory to free up both your hands.)
When you're done having fun, make sure you clean your Fleshlight properly!
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5) Use a vibrator for your penis.
Vibrators have traditionally been marketed to people with a vulva, which makes sense, given that most need some form of external clitoral stimulation in order to climax during penetrative sex. But recent years have seen an increase in vibrating sex toys designed for dicks, because honestly, those vibrations can feel really damn good on penises, too! One 2012 study found that 44% of heterosexual men had enjoyed the experience of using a vibrator at some point in their life, so don't be shy about trying some of these toys.
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6) Incorporate anal play.
"A lot of men, especially those who identify as straight, regularly miss out on a huge source of pleasure: their butts," Vrangalova says. "Butts (of all genders) have a huge number of nerve endings and stimulating them can feel really good. If you have a prostate that you can (indirectly) reach this way, that anal stimulation can be literally mind-blowing. "
So how do you bring a little butt play into your next masturbation session? Vrangalova recommends using your hand or a prostate massage toy.
She recommends the LOKI Wave, which "has a nice long handle you can hold with one hand while you stroke with the other, and the wave motion of the internal vibrating part hits the prostate just right."
Lelo Loki Wave
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Doc Johnson Classic Butt Plug
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7) Put a cock ring on it.
A cock ring—also known as a penis ring—is a band and that goes around the base of your penis (and sometimes your testicles, too), trapping blood flow in your shaft and thereby strengthening your erection. Cock rings often come up in conversations about how to last longer during partnered sex, but there's no reason not to reap their rock-hard benefits during solo sex. Speaking of benefits: In addition to stronger erections, some guys anecdotally say that cock rings give them stronger orgasms.
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8) Switch up your grip and speed of stroking.
Ever heard of the "death grip"? If you find yourself having a hard time reaching orgasm during sex with a partner, it might be because you're squeezing your penis too hard and stroking too fast during masturbation.
"This amount of grip pressure and stroke speed cannot typically be reached with a partner, hence their orgasmic difficulties," Vrangalova says. "To prevent this from happening, make sure you switch up the grip and stroking speed, so you're used to ejaculating in different ways."9) Try edging.
The 5-minute speed jerk is fine for most days. But if you have a little extra time, “edging”—also called the stop-and-start method—can help you achieve more intense orgasms, Morse promises.
Work yourself right up to the edge of ejaculation and then take a short break—just enough time for your erection to soften a bit. Then start the process over again. Do this three or four times before you orgasm, and you’ll experience more profound, powerful ejaculations, Morse says.10) Switch hands.
You’ve probably tried incorporating your non-dominant hand into your solo act. You may have even attempted the mythical “Stranger”—sitting on your hand until it falls asleep, and then using it to simulate the sensation of someone else doing the dirty work. But Morse advises using your opposite hand in more creative ways.
Turn your hand so it slides down your penis forefinger-first, and twist it as you stroke. You could also try holding your penis against your stomach with one hand while rapidly sliding a few fingers up and down the underside of your shaft. Like switching positions during sex, mixing in unfamiliar hand maneuvers can break up the tedium, Morse says.11) Bring your balls into the mix.
There are nearly as many sex-specific nerve endings in your testicles as there are in your penis. Don’t neglect them, Morse urges.
While individual preferences and sensitivities play a big role in what you’ll enjoy, a lot of men discover an untapped source of stimulation—and more intense orgasms—by pulling down on their testicles rhythmically before ejaculation.
Some guys learn to ignore their penis entirely as they approach the big O, Morse says.
12) Masturbate with a partner.
Masturbation entails sexually pleasuring yourself, but it does not mean you have to do it alone in a room with the door locked. Masturbation side-by-side with a partner can be an intimate experience—not to mention an easy, sexy option for when you're both too tired to do anything fancy. "Sex is so much more than penetration," Howard says. "Sex is any type of emotional, spiritual, physical, or erotic connection, and that includes mutual masturbation."
Plus, watching how your partner touches their own body can be a great way to learn exactly what they like in bed, and vice versa.
13) Focus on the pleasure—not the orgasm.
We know it sounds counterintuitive, but the less you obsess about climaxing, the more enjoyable your sexual experience is likely to be. In our race to have an orgasm, we often end up overlooking the most important aspect of a sexual experience: pleasure. If you have time on your hands, do what feels good—not what you think will get you over the finish line fastest.
"Most people masturbate because they want that release, but allow yourself to focus on the moment of intimacy between you and yourself," Howard says.
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Jordyn Taylor is the Executive Digital Editor at Men's Health. She is the co-author of 'Best. Sex. Ever.: 200 Frank, Funny & Friendly Answers About Getting It On,' and an adjunct professor at New York University's Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute. She's covered sex, relationships, health, wellness, and LGBTQ+ issues since 2013, and has previously worked as a reporter and editor at Mic and the New York Observer.
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.
8 myths about masturbation that prevent her from doing it
Masturbation is the easiest and safest way of self-satisfaction. It is practiced by people of all genders and ages. This is a way of knowing your body that helps in your personal life, and does not destroy it. We talk about the myths that surround masturbation and make it something shameful, although this is not at all the case.
Now the Burning Hut has a group in Odnoklassniki. The only thing missing is your classes! Subscribe yourself and send our articles to mothers and grandmothers.
Myth 1.Those who masturbate are dissatisfied with sex in relationships
Masturbation is not a substitute for sex with a partner, but an addition to it. With the help of self-satisfaction, you can relax quickly and without foreplay. Sometimes a person needs it, but the partner is not around or there is no mood for long-term romantic sex. Or just a person equally strongly loves to masturbate and have sex. There is nothing wrong.
Moreover, there is a possibility that masturbation helps in sexual relations. The better you know your body and what it likes, the more you can tell your partner about your preferences in sex. A 2020 survey of women in the US and Hungary showed the following statistics: women who regularly masturbate are more interested in having an orgasm from sex and pay more attention to their feelings during the process. So masturbation is more of a key to orgasm than a hindrance to it.
Myth 2. Children should not masturbate, it has a bad effect on the psyche
Masturbation in childhood is an element of the formation of the psyche, and not its destroyer. Between the ages of 2 and 5, children treat their own and other people's genitals not as a sexual object, but as a curious phenomenon.
Children under 5 years old touch their intimate places, they respond with pleasant sensations, and this causes increased interest. This is the norm.
If a child touches himself in public, parents are advised to hint that this activity is very pleasant, but intimate. And that adults also do this, but not in public, but in their room. The main thing is not to forbid and not to say that it is bad and wrong.
Researchers also suggest that masturbation in childhood and adolescence contributes to a positive sexual experience in the future and healthy self-esteem.
Myth 3. You can't masturbate too much, otherwise you can lose control
There are no limits to masturbation, because everyone has their own need for self-satisfaction. This is the kind of pleasure that cannot be overdone.
Don't worry if you feel like you're masturbating too much. Once a day is fine, five times a day is also fine.
Masturbation can only become a problem if it interferes with normal life. If it's hard for you not to think about masturbation when you go to work, meet friends and family - the daily need becomes like an obsessive irresistible desire - then you should contact a psychologist for help.
Myth 4. Masturbation causes hair to grow or, on the contrary, to fall out
This is a myth. Masturbation does not affect hair growth anywhere in either women or men.
The Medical News Today website even speculates where this myth originated. There is an exotic theory that during an orgasm, a man releases seminal fluid rich in protein. These losses allegedly affect hair growth. But if you take up a calculator, the theory collapses. The ejaculate contains about 5 mg of protein per 100 ml. And only 3.5 ml of ejaculate is released during orgasm. These protein losses are so insignificant that the body simply does not pay attention to them.
Myth 5. Masturbation can stimulate early menstruation
This is not true, masturbation does not affect the cycle and cannot shift it. But it can relieve pain during menstruation.
During orgasm, endorphins are released. They act on the body as an anesthetic, so at the peak of pleasure, pain in the lower abdomen can pass.
Myth 6. Vibrators can damage the nerve endings in the vagina
No, vibrators and other sex toys are recognized by the medical community as safe and cannot damage anything in the nervous system. They are designed to excite the receptors and bring pleasure, not discomfort.
Adverse reactions from the use of a vibrator do occur, but they are quite rare and not dangerous. In 2009, they published data from a large-scale survey of two thousand US women about their relationship with a vibrator. 71.5% of them stated that they had never encountered discomfort during use, and 16.5% noted that they had a slight numbness. The remaining 12% experienced pain or irritation of the mucosa after using the vibrator. Because the details are unknown, it's hard to judge if the vibrator is to blame or if the woman just put in too much force when she masturbated.
In other words, vibrators usually do not cause problems. Watch how you feel and remember to wash your sex toys before and after use to avoid catching an infection.
Myth 7. Masturbation affects testosterone levels and lowers it
In short, masturbation does not affect testosterone levels in the long term. It may grow for a short time, and then return to normal again.
Testosterone is a key muscle building hormone. It helps muscles synthesize protein and helps increase growth hormone in the blood during exercise.
It is believed that during sex and masturbation, testosterone levels fall and muscles grow less intensively because of this. Therefore, some athletes practice abstinence. The New York Times wrote that Muhammad Ali did not have sex for 6 weeks in a row before boxing matches.
During sex, the level of testosterone really changes - it increases. But it has been proven that after a few minutes it returns to normal values and does not affect the strength and endurance of a person.
How quickly testosterone returns to normal after masturbation was not tested in the study. But if after sex the hormone returns to normal, it is logical that something similar happens during masturbation. Therefore, if you are not an Olympic athlete, you can not limit yourself to masturbation. If hormone levels are extremely important to you, then there is no exact data yet.
Myth 8. The more you masturbate, the less you want to have sex
There is no such relationship. It is believed that masturbation affects sexual desire only positively. When a person and his partner are well aware of each other's sensitive points, the desire to have sex and have fun only increases.
During masturbation, the hormone testosterone is activated, which increases libido.
The truth about masturbation looks like this
Masturbation is normal. Almost everyone does this. But if you don’t like to masturbate and don’t feel like it, that’s okay too.
Masturbation is good for health. It is known that it helps to fall asleep faster and more soundly, relieves emotional stress, relieves menstrual pain.
Masturbation helps you get to know your body better. It increases self-esteem, self-love, and also affects the quality of sex. It will become more sensual and brighter if you do not waste time looking for erogenous zones.
Sex toys are safe for masturbation. Just remember to wash them before and after use.
You can masturbate as much as you want. The main thing is that this does not interfere with your life and hobbies.
Children should not be prohibited from masturbating. This activity for them is a new round in their own development and the discovery of sexuality. Do not scare them with myths and horror stories, but explain that this is a pleasant and useful activity, you just don’t need to do it in public.
How many times a day can you masturbate? Urologist debunked men's myths
PENIS DOES NOT GO BY YOU
Anastasia Ospanova, a urologist and andrologist, doctor of the highest category, winner of the "Altyn dariger" award, maintains a popular blog on Instagram, where she shares tips on men's health. In an interview with EK, she debunked some myths.
- In The Wolf of Wall Street, Matthew McConaughey's character advises a newcomer, the character playing Leonardo DiCaprio, to masturbate twice a day so he doesn't "get his threads off." But in the CIS there are entire "online sects" calling for refraining from masturbation. So how do you deal with this thorny issue?
– Yes, indeed, there are such myths that masturbation can lead to male infertility, blindness and other diseases, says Anastasia Ospanova. Some people think it's a big sin. As for doctors, we consider this the norm during certain periods of puberty. That is, when the boy begins to mature and hormones boil in the blood, he begins to masturbate. And this is the absolute norm. There are no specific limits on how many times you can do this, and how many you can’t. It depends on temperament and hormonal activity. Over time, masturbation should be replaced by sex, when the boy becomes a guy. In some cases, when sexually mature men do not have the opportunity to have sex, we allow and even recommend masturbation. But, of course, when a mature man lives with his wife in the same house and is fond of masturbation, then this is not normal.
In general, masturbation is the norm for a certain period of a man's life. Basically, this is a youthful period and when there is no permanent partner.
- In the latest ranking, Kazakhstan ranked 63rd in the world in terms of the size of the genitals. The average length of our penises was 13.46 cm when erect. Do urological problems depend on the size of the "little brother"?
- In 2012, the average length of Kazakhstani penises was 12.7 cm. What can I say that we have grown a little in nine years. This, of course, pleases, but Asians in general cannot boast of the large size of their genitals than, say, citizens of African republics. But I want to assure you that there is no difference whether it is very long or less long; this does not affect urological diseases in any way. Equally often or rarely, both large manhoods and small ones get sick. Therefore, whatever the size, the main thing is that the sexual organ be healthy.
- We live in Nur-Sultan and it's quite cold here. I personally spent the whole winter in two underpants. Am I doing the right thing? Because there are men who reject them, supposedly it makes them fat.
- Regarding the cold season. My main recommendation is to always dress appropriately for the weather. If it's -25 outside, and you are wearing light sneakers and thin jeans, then there is a very high risk of chilling your manhood.
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Publication from UROLOGIST-ANDROLOGIST ASTANA (@urolog_androlog_astana_)
And the majority of patients who come with complaints of prostate disease sin that hypothermia has taken place. Therefore, those who do not wear underpants in winter should understand that there is a high risk of developing prostatitis. Therefore, do not look at fashion, but look at the weather. Dress warmly.
- You blog a lot about problems with premature ejaculation. Does such a problem exist?
- Yes, indeed I write about this on my blog a lot, because this is a very popular question. The duration of sexual intercourse worries many men and young guys. This is a very important factor in the development of a guy as a man who begins to have sex. The fact is that by the duration of sexual intercourse, women judge the experience of men.
Premature ejaculation is divided into three categories. The first is when a guy is just starting to have sex, of course, there is a factor of excitement. Firstly, the head of the penis is very sensitive, plus he has little experience. I always compare this to the fact that when you are hungry, you immediately pounce on food. The same thing happens in sex - young guys very quickly reach orgasm due to an overabundance of sensitivity. In the process of regular sexual life, the duration of sexual intercourse will increase.
It also happens that the duration of sexual intercourse suits you, but suddenly at some point it becomes short. This is due to external factors. It can be stress, worries, inflammatory diseases, for example, of the thyroid gland. Therefore, it is worth considering when everything was fine with you, and suddenly it became very fast. Then you need to see a doctor.
And the third option is when, regardless of experience, sexual partner and regularity of sexual life, sex, alas, is short-lived. This suggests that the glans penis is a very erogenous zone. One has only to touch it - and it turns out an orgasm. In such cases, urologists intervene and carry out a number of certain procedures in order to reduce the sensitivity of the head and increase the duration of sexual intercourse.
– There are very few public toilets in the capital. Isn't it bad for men and women to endure home?
- Indeed, there is one big problem in the capital - a small number of public toilets, and in some places - their complete absence. To endure sufficient time is harmful for both men and women. Urine is a waste product of the body, it must be excreted on time, so this problem must be solved. Many women start going to the toilet in advance, because they know that on the way they will not meet a public toilet anywhere, which is quite harmful for their body. People should go to the toilet on call.
- Lately it has become very fashionable to talk about prostate massage. Glamorous women's magazines write about him, some dubious massage parlors provide such a service. Is it a panacea for men's ills?
- I want to say that back in 2005 the European Association of Urology issued a resolution in which it was clearly and clearly stated that there is no evidence base for prostate massage as a medical procedure. That is, the best and most effective for a man is when the prostate gland is completely emptied during intercourse. Therefore, the doctor's task is to establish the patient's sexual life.