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Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
Download Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF book free – From Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF: It’s no wonder that introversion is making headlines―half of all Americans are introverts. But if that describes you―are you making the most of your inner strength? Buy from Amazon
Table of Contents
- 1 Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
- 2 Editorial Reviews
- 2.1 Review – Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
- 2.2 Excerpt – Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
- 3 Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF : eBook Information
- 3.1 Related Books(Free PDF Books)
- 3.2 About the Author
- 3.3 Download Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
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Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
Psychologist and introvert Laurie Helgoe unveils the genius of introversion. Introverts gain energy and power through reflection and solitude. Our culture, however, is geared toward the extrovert. The pressure to get out there and get happier can lead people to think that an inward orientation is a problem instead of an opportunity.
Helgoe shows that the exact opposite is true: introverts can capitalize on this inner source of power. Introvert Power is a blueprint for how introverts can take full advantage of this hidden strength in daily life.
Revolutionary and invaluable, Introvert Power includes ideas for how introverts can learn to:
Claim private space
Bring a slower tempo into daily life
Deal effectively with parties, interruptions, and crowds
Quiet is might. Solitude is strength. Introversion is power.
“A modern-day Thoreau.”―Stephen Bertman, author of The Eight Pillars of Greek Wisdom
Review – Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
“It changed my life. No kidding. Dr. Helgoe’s book opened the door to discovery that has helped free me be myself. ” – Sophia Dembling, author of The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World
“Like a modern-day Thoreau, psychologist Laurie Helgoe leads us to a tranquil Walden Pond within our soul, and shows us the blessings of solitude we can find there.” – Stephen Bertman, author of The Eight Pillars of Greek Wisdom
“I love Laurie Helgoe’s book. I just wish I’d had it when I was growing up; it would have reduced the number of decades it took me to treasure my own introversion. Now as I read each page I’m saying “Yes!”” – Josephine Humphreys, novelist and winner of the American Academy of Arts and Letters Award in Literature
“Extroverts have to read this remarkable book too. It’s not just that we’ll better understand the other 50 percent of the population but that they have so much to teach us. The party always ends, after all. Being alone is unavoidable. Helgoe and the introverts among us know a secret: It’s after all the music and dancing stops that we often become our most graceful selves. ” – Ethan Watters, author of Crazy Like Us: The Globalization of the American Psyche
“Laurie Helgoe’s Introvert Power is The Bhagavad Gita for introverts….Laurie fans the embers of wisdom in each of us to honor yearnings that serve as both compass and anchor. I’m now giving myself permission to get a lock for my office door and replace my reading chair with something that would delight my younger self. I owe it to her.” – Mary Hershey, author for children & young adults, co-creater of Shrinking Violets, Marketing for Introverts
Excerpt – Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
“Re-examine all you have been told. Dismiss what insults your soul.” ―Walt Whitman
If you haven’t been to a mosh pit, you’ve probably seen one in movies. A mob is crowded together, body to body, dancing and slamming into each other, usually at a live music club or concert. Occasionally, someone dives into the pit from the stage and “surfs” on the upraised arms of the crowd. The challenge of “moshing” is to work your way as close as possible to the band while avoiding getting trampled. Security guards keep watch in case such a thing happens, but any mosher will tell you that the pit is dangerous.
I’ve come to see the mosh pit as an apt description of American society―and of my childhood home. I was number nine of ten creative, mostly LOUD kids competing for airspace. My dad, a pastor who built pipe organs as a hobby, had wall-sized speakers in the living room that blared out classical music. Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
When the family sang together, we sang five-part harmonies of the uncompromising Handel’s Messiah. On Christmas Eve, we had a talent show and family service, and later tore into our presents all at once, paper and ribbons flying everywhere and voices crisscrossing the room shouting out “thank you!” and “just what I wanted!” These are happy memories, because there was a part for each of us.Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
But instead of ripping paper and shouting, I sat in my corner with my pile of gifts and handled each as a treasure, slowly and carefully opening them, preserving the paper and lingering in the delight of discovery. I was meditating in the mosh pit.
However, when there were no gifts to open and everyone was competing for airtime, I felt invisible and became over-stimulated and anxious. My anxiety was not about the pressure to socialize; there were more than enough bodies to take care of that.
I became anxious because I couldn’t think, and, without my own mind, I felt like I was disintegrating. My solution was to retreat to my room and write. In my solitude I could regain contact with myself and become solid again.
I had a vivid imagination; I wrote science fiction and developed secret codes with my little sister and a neighbor girl. Though the mosh pit was stressful, I knew that retreating was an option.
I lost this freedom when I entered school.
In first grade, I got scolded for hiding out in the bathroom with a couple of girls during recess. We were sprawled out on the floor, quietly engaged in the subversive practice of―yes, coloring. That’s when I learned that my desire for quiet and solitude was bad.
I adapted. Years later, as a PhD candidate in clinical psychology, I didn’t tell anyone that I was intimidated by the prospect of sitting in the room with a stranger. I wanted to be under the surface―not to have to get there through social exchange.Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
Again, I adapted, found success as a psychologist, and had practiced for almost ten years when I first admitted to my analyst (and myself) how taxing the “social exchange,” particularly with new clients, had been for me. This was the first time I had acknowledged the simple truth: I am an introvert.
My confession of introversion allowed me to rediscover the treasured self I had buried when I first stepped on the school bus. My analysis provided me the time and space I had craved, and I entered a personal renaissance. I took my first-ever personal retreat, letting my husband and little boys handle things while I indulged in the privacy of a remote B&B in the woods. I began an active period of writing, learned to craft candles, discovered poetry, and, for the first time, saw a world beyond the constrictions of my profession. Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
Predictably, as I came alive, people around me―even my closest family members―got worried. What if I relinquished my hard-earned career to sell candles on the art fair circuit? What kind of crazy ideas was I getting from my analyst? It hurts when the self you most value becomes a source of worry. But once you tap into that self, the worry won’t stop you.
What kept me going was the energy I discovered. For the first time since my carefree childhood days, I experienced flow. When I took my solitary walks, I felt I could walk forever, basking in the ample space for thought and imagination. I discovered the sky and drew on its vastness as a source of comfort.
The world opened to me during these walks, and I began to envision new possibilities for my life. The image of a piano keyboard came to my mind, and I recognized that I had only learned one note―I was an expert on that note, but there were so many more to discover. The sky reminded me that there was so much more than the limited corner of the world I had come to know. I was filled with desire, and that desire led me to new notes and new places.
I had befriended my introversion and was transported by its power.
Since that opening, I have tasted the novelty of working as a model, savored the power of holding an audience captive as a stage actor, written and directed mixed-media performances, and discovered a more energizing focus for my therapy skills―helping writers excavate their “inner book.” Most satisfying of all, I have realized my desire to become an author, which has allowed me to connect with introverts―privately and quietly―across the globe.
Here’s a well-kept secret: introversion is not defined by lack. Introversion, when embraced, is a wellspring of riches. It took me years to acknowledge this simple reality, to claim my home, and to value all it offers.
Perhaps you also feel most at home within. But you’ve probably also felt the pull to abandon this home―to set up house in the world of social interactions. Even if you only enjoy an occasional visit inside yourself, you may struggle to justify such an indulgence. Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
Because extroversion lines up so well with American values, we introverts often deprive ourselves of what we most enjoy and thrive on. So, for all of you who draw energy from inside, behind, underneath, or away from it all, welcome home.
AMERICA THE EXTROVERTED
There’s a lot to love about America―freedom, the melting pot of diversity, individualism―all attractive concepts, especially to an introvert. In fact, the introverts were probably the first to feel crowded in England and to daydream about all the space they would find in the New World. Peace! Quiet!
Fast-forward to the new millennium―and it has been a fast trip forward―in which we are more likely to associate America with office space than with “spacious skies.” We have become an outward and upward society, conquering, building, competing, buying out, improving―extroverting. The squeaky wheels get greased, the ones who snooze lose, the best team wins, and the winner takes all.
In this culture of competition, it is no wonder that those of us who prefer introversion feel anxious. We are expected to “think on our feet,” but we think best when we’re still. We’re pressured to join and keep up, when we’d rather follow an inner guide. And with the ever-multiplying multimedia―and smart phones we can access anywhere, bathroom included―the competition finds us where we live. Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
After a day of fending off intrusions, even a friendly greeting or eager query can leave us feeling like Dr. Seuss’s Grinch (whom I’m convinced was a misunderstood introvert), covering our ears and bemoaning the “noise, noise, NOISE!”
When introverts sense invasion, we instinctively shut down to protect our inner resources. We’re no longer “all there,” but we still have to manage the incoming stimuli. We feel split: one part on watch, the other back at headquarters (an apt name, if you think about it). If communications between headquarters and the field break down, we lose access to ourselves. From this defensive position, we may feel that our only options are to practice extroversion, go underground, or go crazy.
Could it be that there’s another alternative? Perhaps we could draw on our personal and communal strengths to assert introversion in our culture. Sound like a paradox? Yes―as paradoxical as meditating in a mosh pit.
Defining Our Terms
Introversion is an inward orientation to life, and extroversion (spelled extraversion in clinical and academic literature) is an outward orientation. Though you probably use both introversion and extroversion, one of these orientations usually feels more like home―more comfortable, more interesting, and more energizing―than the other. Introverts prefer introversion; we tend to gain energy by reflecting and expend energy when interacting. Extroverts have the opposite preference; they tend to gain energy by interacting and expend energy while reflecting.
INTROVERSION FOR ALL―OR NONE
According to the psychiatrist and founder of analytical psychology, Carl G. Jung, introversion and extroversion are two opposing forces, or attitude-types, within an individual. Isabel Briggs Myers and Katharine Cook Briggs, who developed the popular Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®), built on Jung’s idea that we all use both attitudes, but introverts are naturally more attracted to the world of concepts, ideas, and inner experiences, whereas extroverts prefer to focus on the outer world.
The Big Five personality system, which came into prominence in the 1990s, put a slightly different spin on introversion and extroversion. Extroversion is one of the five―the Big Five―traits identified to describe personality. Rather than seeing individuals as possessing both attitudes and preferring one to the other, the Big Five sees individuals as having more or less of a single trait called extroversion.
Each of us falls somewhere along a continuum between the least extroverted and the most extroverted. And though people who fall on the “less extroverted” end may be referred to as “introverted,” the word carries no meaning independent of extroversion.
Introversion is no longer in the vocabulary.
In this single-trait model, terms describing extroversion are simply reversed to measure introversion. This simplicity is attractive, measurement is easy, and the model has generated a wealth of important research. But something essential has been lost. When extroversion descriptors like “talkative” and “outgoing” are reversed, the resulting descriptors for introversion become negatively worded apologies: “I have little to say” and “I don’t like to draw attention to myself.” Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
Anyone attentive to language can see that associating the self with negations such as “little” and “don’t” is problematic. Calling the factor “extroversion,” though its continuum encompasses introversion and extroversion, to me, is fraught with the same problems that occur when we refer to men and women as men.
When we see the word “man,” we envision a man, even if we know the adjective is meant to be inclusive. When we see the word “extroversion,” we envision an extrovert. When we read discussions of “less extroverted” individuals, we envision “less.” When we have no separate language to describe introversion, we stop seeing introversion.
“Whatever is unnamed, undepicted in images, whatever is omitted from biography, censored in collections of letters, whatever is misnamed as something else, made difficult-to-come-by, whatever is buried in the memory by the collapse of meaning under an inadequate or lying language―this will become, not merely unspoken, but unspeakable.”
―Adrienne Rich, from
On Lies, Secrets, and Silence: Selected Prose
In Jung’s type theory, introversion and extroversion are opposites, but they are both viable in their own right. Contrast the negations in the Big Five with this MBTI® description of introversion: “interest in the clarity of concepts, ideas, and recollected experience; reliance on enduring concepts and experiences more than on transitory external events or fleeting ideas; a thoughtful, contemplative detachment; an enjoyment of solitude and privacy; and a desire to “‘think things out’ before talking about them. ”
Jung believed, and research has affirmed, that there is a strong biological component to the preference for introversion or extroversion. Though he used the term “preference,” he didn’t believe that people chose their attitude-type. Rather, he saw that people generally preferred to act in the way that came most naturally, just as someone who is right-handed prefers to use her right hand.
But whether you prefer I, or you identify most with E, every one of us uses and relies on both approaches. Jung wrote, “Just as high always longs for low and hot for cold, so all consciousness, perhaps without being aware of it, seeks its unconscious opposite, lacking which it is doomed to stagnation, congestion, and ossification.” When a culture devalues introversion, we lose access to a vital life source, and we all end up feeling a little sick.
The way personal growth is supposed to progress, according to Jung, is that we spend the first part of our lives developing the specialty that is most natural and compelling―introversion or extroversion. Specialization works well until later life, when the individual gets bored, wants to expand his or her range, and, perhaps with the help of a midlife crisis, begins to explore the shadow side of his or her personality.Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
The extrovert finds himself mapping a solo pilgrimage, while the introvert gathers friends together for a weekend trip. Type theory assumes that, although preferences remain constant across the lifespan, early specialization gives people the strength and confidence to branch out later in life. But what happens when the young introvert is discouraged or, worse, prohibited from practicing her specialty?
The introvert may adapt and act extroverted, but she walks around with a nagging sense of homelessness. She won’t need to wait until midlife to become bored―she’s bored already! It’s hard enough to be in a career that doesn’t fit, but for many introverts, the life doesn’t fit.
For the many frustrated introverts out there, what is needed is not a move toward extroversion, but as a friend of mine put it, an opportunity to “melt into introversion. ” This book is not about finding balance―we are really tired of doing that! Besides, finding balance assumes that we have been allowed to be fully introverted.Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
We have not. This book is about embracing the power of introversion. It’s about indulging, melting into, drinking in, immersing ourselves in the joy, the genius, and the power of who we naturally are―and not just on the occasional retreat, but in the living of our lives. Ironically, balance will only come to us if we forget about extroversion for a while, and balance will only come to our society when we see and respect the introversion in all of us.
THE BIG LIE
Thanks to Jung and his successors, we have the tools to understand these qualities. We have personality tests to measure introversion and extroversion. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® has generated more than fifty years of data on introversion and extroversion, and since its development in the eighties, the NEO Personality Inventory has facilitated an explosion of research on the Big Five dimensions. Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
Popular literature has emerged to explain how each of us can understand our personality preferences and use them to our advantage. But lies about introversion are so imbedded in the fabric of our culture that even the literature geared toward correcting misconceptions inadvertently promotes them.
The biggest lie is that introverts are in the minority, making up one-Fourth or one-third of the population, depending on what you’ve read. Any introvert who has done a quick web search, attempting to find some company, has probably run across and even quoted these figures. But not only are these figures floating around the Web, they are also repeatedly quoted in self-help books many of us use as resources.
When I started my research for this book, I wanted to know where these estimates came from. I wanted to find the research the books were quoting. So I went to the source: MBTI®. In the half-century since the first MBTI® Manual (© 1962) was published, continued sampling and test development by its publisher CPP and ongoing research and literature review at the Center for Application of Type (CAPT) have generated a staggering amount of data. Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
And though Big Five personality measures are generating additional data, these instruments do not provide cut-offs to distinguish introverts from extroverts. So I dug into the current MBTI® Manual (© 2003), a regularly updated compendium for the research on introversion, extroversion, and the other personality dimensions measured by the MBTI®. I thought those oft-referenced minority estimates would pop right up. But what I found was quite different.
The Manual reported the results of the first large-scale U.S. population study of MBTI® frequencies. The results? Introverts comprised 50.7 percent of the representative sample; extroverts came in at 49.3 percent. This study, the largest to date, was published in 1998. Studies on either side show similar ratios. Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF
The Manual references a 1996 sample, indicating, “Introverts were slightly more common [than extroverts] for both genders.” The most recent sample, reported in the MBTI® Step II Manual (© 2001), had a proportion of 57 percent introverts to 43 percent extroverts.
It took me much longer to find the source of claims that introverts make up only a fourth or third of the population. These estimates were made by Isabel Myers during the formative stages of MBTI® development―circa 1957.
How can we be so far off ?
As much as research shows the contrary, the belief that introverts are in the minority has stuck. After all, in America, extroversion is what we value. And we see what we value. So we see extroverts everywhere, and we no longer notice the introverts everywhere. Sometimes we even miss the one looking back at us in the mirror.
We might tell ourselves that introverts are naturally less visible than extroverts. This lie is as insidious and damaging as the lie about our numbers. Perhaps a better way to put it is that we are less seen in America. Go to Japan, for example, and, despite the massive population, an introverted businessperson is more likely to be noticed than a “fast talker.”
In America, we think of introverts as withdrawn loners, quiet and scared. We readily diagnose a preference for looking inward as stemming from depression, anxiety, or antisocial tendencies. We don’t know what introversion really is, and we interact with introverts all day without realizing it.
We’ve got it all wrong.
REVIVING YOUR INTROVERSION
From a young age, most of us are taught the value of social skills. We learn how to introduce ourselves, how to smile and be polite. We are told to be friendly and make friends. These are all useful abilities to develop. But how many of us are taught the value of solitude skills? How many of us are taught to protect our boundaries, to foster imagination, to be alone? How many of us are encouraged to withdraw from social activity and nurture the life of the mind?
This book is here to provide that missing training and support. We’ll examine how introversion may have gotten away from you, and how to get it back. We’ll deconstruct the extroversion assumption, and see how it manifests in everyday conversations, judgments, and ideas about work and play. As you are freed to reclaim your preference, you will be amazed at the power you feel. Life will flow in a way you hadn’t thought was possible. You may find yourself asking: “Is this okay?” “Can things be this easy?”
As this transformation occurs at the individual level―this simple reclaiming of your home―you’ll notice your world changing. I think you’re going to like it.
Introvert Power provides an alternative to the extroversion training you’ve been receiving all your life. As unnatural as extroversion has felt to introverts, we’ve gotten used to it. Rather than putting a thin coat of introversion over layers of extroverted thinking, Introvert Power asks you to strip down your thinking first and then dip into your true colors. The book is divided into five parts, each essential to our retraining and best experienced in sequence.
In Part One, Antisocial, Weird, or Displaced?, we take on―and take apart―the beliefs we’ve adopted about introversion, along with our culturally determined assumptions about what is healthy. We look at mistaken associations between introversion and mental illness, and confront our society’s taboo against solitude.
You’ll meet two introvert styles, represented by Shadow Dwellers and Accessible Introverts, and learn how these styles have developed in the context of an alienating society. Then we start looking at what’s real: our numbers, our influence on current trends, and the economic power we exert. Finally, we’ll expose the serious downside of society’s mandate to get happier.
Part Two, The Introvert’s Wish List, is the melting into introversion section. In these chapters, we’ll take a tour through societies that favor introversion, then indulge in our wishes for private space, time to think, routine retreats, passionate observation, and real intimacy. Though the process may feel like a guilty indulgence, we’ll see why such pleasures are in fact essential to introverts and healing to society as a whole.
In Part Three, Standing Still in a Loud World, we move into the areas that have become defined by extroversion and look at how to bring an introvert tempo into the mix. You’ll learn how to create space in conversations and how to just say no to parties―or how to hang out, introvert-style. We deal with work and the people who interrupt us. We sort out how to be there for the people we love while remaining loyal to ourselves. And we confront the downside of introversion, and how to know when we need a window out.
The final section, Outing the Introvert, takes us one step further, from introvert restoration to introvert renaissance. We take ownership of our society, educating rather than apologizing, acting with introvert integrity rather than conformity or indifference, and expressing, in our own way, the richness within us.
We consider when extroversion is natural for us and, fully rooted in introversion, we relinquish the defensive stance that once restricted our freedom. We begin to meditate in the mosh pit, and as we do, the pit transforms into a house of meditation; the extroverted slamming no longer pushes us off balance, and the rhythms of introversion and extroversion complement each other in a new dance.
My voice will always be limited in capturing your private experience, so I supplement my words here with the voices of a diverse group of introverts. I polled the introverts in my world, as well as subscribers to my website, http.wakingdesire.com (see also http.introvertpower.com), and the Introvert Power page on Facebook. A group of voices emerged: a college student from Puerto Rico who makes films in her spare time; a minister with a generative mind and minimalist lifestyle; a high school sophomore who obtains permission to doodle in her classes; a sampling of accountants, artists, government employees, musicians, conservationists, comedians, health professionals, and writers.
These contributors welcomed the opportunity to write their thoughts―extroverted techniques were not used in the making of this book―and struck me with their honesty and insight. Many appreciated being asked. The voices of introverted heroes―literary, historical, popular, and lesser known―also enrich the pages ahead.
Regardless of how many introvert perspectives I can provide, however, it is your voice that I hope to inspire.
Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe PDF : eBook Information
- Full Book Name – Introvert Power
- Author of this Book – Laurie Helgoe
- Language – English
- Book Genre – Non-Fiction, Self Help
- Download Format – PDF
- Size – 1.0 MB
- eBook Pages – 205
Related Books(Free PDF Books)
About the Author
Laurie Helgoe, PhD, is a writer, psychologist, part-time actor, and model-and introvert. This is her fifth book.
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The Introvert Power Advantage by Samantha Claire - Ebook
Ebook59 pages46 minutes
Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
About this ebook
"HOW TO THRIVE AND WIN AS AN INTROVERT, IN THE WORLD OF EXTROVERTS!"
The stereotypes on intro/extroversion have been going on for many years, yet we do not take the effort to correct any of them. Introversion, in particular, is one of the most frequently misinterpreted personality traits. Many issues originate from the lack of distinction between introversion and being shy-- the former is much more detailed as the introvert himself is just more concentrated in his own world, yet it does not mean he can not interact with others if he needs to. This book was created with high hopes of shedding light on the misconceptions that often discourage the introverts.
Some of these individuals are fed up in being forced to alter their ways. People have no idea that introverts can be the most independent types of people you will ever meet. Because they choose the serenity of being on their own, they have the tendency to be more self-dependent and devoted. They are visionaries-- they take their time evaluating things and go through the details with an excellent focus and accuracy. In this book, we aim to reveal to you why we should accept and thrive as introverts!
In this book, you will learn:
Our Motto: "You're Okay But Only In Tiny Doses. "
How Does Introversion Influence Character?
Being Around People Drains Energy
Benefits Of Introversion
Stops And Smell The Roses. Life Teems With Little Surprises.
Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone-- But Stay In Your Sanity Zone
Small Talk As A Part Of Life
Introverts And Energy
Relationships With Special Outgoing Personalities
Characteristics Of Extroverts
Friendships Keep Them Healthy And Balanced
Benefits Of Introversion
The Pretend Extrovert Skills
Surviving In An Extrovert's World
The Introvert As A Leader
Beef Up Your Emotional Intelligence
The Art Of Focused Conversation
Confident Public Speaking
Grabbing Your Audience
The Art Of Persuasion
Going From Introvert To Extrovert
Introvert To Extrovert Exercise
Finding The Right Career For An Introvert
Being Happy As An Introvert
Reframe Your Thoughts
Taking Control Of Stress
Change The Stressful Situation
Accept Things That Are Unchangeable
What People Think Of You Is None Of Your Business
And Much, Much More. ..
Get your copy today!
Release dateApr 20, 2018
Reviews for The Introvert Power Advantage
Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
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The Introvert Power Advantage - Samantha Claire
you're okay, but only in tiny doses.
The term introversion came from the work of Carl Jung and later ended up being one of the main parts of his five principles of Personality. The Introversion-extraversion dimension is also one of the four divisions recognized by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).
According to Jung’s model of personality, every person has some degree of both introversion and extraversion. People commonly often lean in one direction or the other.
How does introversion influence character?
Experts have found that people high in this characteristic have the propensity to have a smaller sized group of friends. While extroverts usually have a huge circle of friends and connections, introverts usually select their buddies a lot more exhaustively than the extrovert types. Their closest partnerships often become real and significant. They similarly choose to associate with people on a one-on-one basis rather than a huge crowd setup.
An outgoing personality is one whose mental pictures, thoughts, and troubles find prepared expression in overt actions, whereas an introvert dwells mostly in a private world of imagination. Introverts may become the visionary poets or artists of the world.
The distinction was made initially by Freud and has been widely used as a concept to help us to realize the difference from one another. Tests to determine introversion and extroversion have been created. Nonetheless, the profuse inner workings of an introvert are too complex to identify and gauge accurately.
Typically, an introvert is an individual who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people. Introverts are more interested in the inner world of thoughts and deep introspection. They habitually would rather avoid social situations because being around people drains their energy.
For outgoing personality types, social interaction brings power and their best, whereas for introverts, energy originates from privacy or interaction with their close friends only.
A large component of it has a genetic basis (40 %). Research and studies could now also predict introversion tendencies in newborn infants (as when they are showing signs they are a lot more aware of external stimulations, like lights/sounds/etc..).
Introverts subconsciously have the proclivity to pay attention to music, but only at minimal decibel levels. Not a whole lot of stimulation is needed; thus their bodily feedback to things is more powerful, therefore, to focus they require lots of space and minimum noise and distractions.
Being Around People Drains Energy
Do you ever feel tired after being in the company of a sizable number of people? After a day being with others, do you just want to retreat to a tranquil place of relaxation and spend time on your own? One of the substantial attributes of this personality type is that introverts' exhaust energy in social situations, unlike extroverts, which obtain energy from the same types of interactions.
- Very self-aware
- Takes pleasure in profoundly understanding details.
- Fascinated with self-expertise and also self-understanding.
- Tends to keep emotions to himself.
- Peaceful and reserved in huge groups or around new people.
- More friendly and can become more gregarious around people they know well.
- Understands things well without the need for constant monitoring.
Remember, introversion is not an all-or-nothing category. People could be the stereotypical introverts, or they may be
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Read online “The Power of Introverts. How to use your oddities to your advantage”, Sylvia Löhken – LitRes
Leise Menschen – starke Wirkung
© 2012 GABAL Verlag GmbH, Offenbach
This translation published by arrangement with GABAL Verlag GmbH
© Translation. EGO Translating Company CJSC, 2017
© Design. LLC Eksmo Publishing House, 2017
* * *
... We have one world for all -
But we live in different ...
Dire Straits, Brothers in ARMS
What do you learn from this book
Why be an introvert is not so bad (see Part 1)
How calm differs from passivity (see Part 1)
How can an introvert avoid overwork when communicating with others (see Part 1)
Can an introvert create a happy family with an extrovert (see Part 2)
How to help an introverted child (see Part 2)
How to get noticed at work (see Part 2)
How to organize your trip in comfort (see Part 2)
What will help an introvert to establish contacts at an event (see Part 3)
How to open up on social media (see Part 3)
How to prepare for public speaking (see Part 3)
How to be effective in public discussions (see Part 3) )
How to enjoy life while being yourself (see Part 3)
This book is unique. It deals with that half of the representatives of the human race, which is paid little attention, since these people are usually silent.
I met the author of this book in a society of individuals of a different type - those who are used to loudly declaring themselves, as this is connected with their profession. After three days of a noisy German Speakers Association conference, I met Sylvia at the exit from the hall. I was completely frazzled. Not only because of "over-stimulation" - as I later realized - but also from the strong influence of extroverts on me. My energy was practically exhausted. Sylvia immediately understood me, and a couple of phrases spoken by her were enough to realize that I was not alone in this vast egocentric world of extroverts. Of course, I already knew for a long time that I was an introvert. I am a teacher of Zen meditation, my profession is connected with calmness, silence and inner energy. Before, I didn’t realize what a big influence quiet people have on me. They think differently, behave differently, and are often underestimated by extroverts, although introverts do serious intellectual work, but little noticeable work. nine0003
There are many self-help books in our culture, especially by American authors. All of these books, however, are for successful, self-confident extroverts—for "Extra," as Sylvia Loecken calls them. They are good self-servers, actively push forward and love to talk. Alas, such guides are to the introvert like swimming lessons to an eagle from a duck. He will never learn to swim well. In the sky, he has no equal, but on the condition that he concentrates on his advantage: on flight. Silent introverts will get little benefit from the many books on communication. For example, they do not need to read long chapters about how important it is to be able to listen to another: they are already good at it and wonder why no one listens their .
Thus, this book can be of inestimable benefit. She draws on the strengths of quiet personalities and gives advice on how to use their strengths. For example, when negotiating, introverts have all the cards in their hands, but many do not know how and when to make the right move. How can silent people prove themselves in meetings where the law of the loud ones reigns? And, say, for leaders, it is especially important to be able to adapt methods like brainstorming to the needs of introverts in such a way as to reap the double benefit from the richness of their inner world and their ideas. nine0003
This book is written not only for introverts, but also for their colleagues, partners, mothers, fathers and bosses. Let's say she teaches you how to communicate with your introverted girlfriend. You will understand why she behaves differently, why she needs time to think, and why she often wants to be alone with herself.
Sylvia Löcken's book should be at the forefront of bestsellers.
Dr. Fleur Zakura WössHead of the Daishina Zen Meditation Center (Vienna), author and leader of trainings on public speaking
Extrovert and introvert: two worlds in one
My name is Sylvia Löcken. I'm an introvert, but I really like communication. Perhaps this sounds strange. The word "introvert" is associated with an unshaven "nerd" who sits at the computer all day and crumbles pizza ordered to the house on the keyboard. However, this "nerd" is only one of the (stereotypical) images of a closed personality. There are many types of people. For example, I like to communicate with people - this is my profession and vocation. However, after a hectic day full of different meetings, I need to be alone. Despite my interest in what I do, I cannot, unlike my extrovert colleagues, draw energy from lively and interesting work with seminar participants, students and teachers. Why is a communication book about introverts? This is a question I wanted to answer to myself. That's how it all started. nine0003
My profession involves advanced training, but one day I lost interest in communication training. Not because of their content. Communication between people is one of the things that interests me the most. However, I suddenly began to avoid other teachers - my own colleagues. They often seemed too noisy and superficial to me. And it became clear to me: this is my problem. So, I started thinking (introverted people like to think and do it often): what exactly annoys me in my colleagues? The people I interacted with were no better or worse than me. And yet they were different - different in the sense that what was important to them was something that did not interest me at all. A lot of people kind of put labels on themselves like "I'm number 1", "Leader", "Always the best" - this has always been unacceptable to me. In the course of training, I am usually given advice that confirms my difference from the rest. Regarding my movements - please, be more energetic! Regarding my manner of speaking - please, be more emotional! Regarding my performances - please, more expression! nine0003
All this made me very upset. Energetic gestures, manifestations of emotions during negotiations or when reading a report - this is not at all my manner of communication. And so far it hasn't bothered me at all, quite the opposite. "Quiet" clients and seminar participants (with calm gestures, corporate style, moderately emotional) have always liked to cooperate with me. And I'm with them. My clients were reasonable and logical people.
“That's it! You like cold minds!” said one (very extroverted) colleague of mine when I described my favorite clients to her. She was right. When I took part in the seminars, I always liked the intense work with people who lived in the same rhythm as me. In doing so, I realized that there are no communication trainings for my beloved clients and for me—trainings focused on the benefits and needs of quiet people. nine0003
The book you are reading now should fill this gap - along with seminars, talks and advice specifically designed for introverted individuals. Good communication has a lot in common with self-knowledge, this idea has always been key for me. Only when I know myself and know how to work with myself can I work successfully with others: in presentations, in negotiations, on the Internet and in my personal life.
What are the characteristics of silent people? Many consider them to be “shy” or “overly receptive,” but such characteristics do not accurately describe introverts, so I set to work and first analyzed my own communication habits. English-language literature on psychology helped me the most. In addition, I began to study my clients with particular interest. nine0003
The result was amazing. I have found two sets of qualities that characterize introverts in communication. These qualities can be divided into advantages and obstacles - difficulties. Not all silent people have the same set of qualities, but many do. Let's take a closer look at them!
Benefits are clearly pluses, as are obstacles. If I know my shortcomings, then I realize my needs better than someone who does not pay attention to his weaknesses. For a long time I considered myself selfish, because, for example, spending time with family or friends, I suddenly realized that I wanted to be alone. I now realize that solitude is a completely normal need that helps me regain energy when I feel tired. And I wouldn't call it a weakness. It's like saying that the weakness of an extrovert is that they need to communicate more than an introvert. nine0003
So, welcome: find out your advantages and obstacles in contact with people. Rejoice in both of your traits as good friends who will accompany you all your life. Then you will probably be able to turn any situation in the right direction for you and communication will be successful.
Two questions arise here that are related to different types of communication between people:
1. What advantages can a quiet person use in a particular situation?
2. What should an introvert pay attention to in a given situation?
In this book you will find answers to both questions.
What you will find in the book and how it should be read
You will, of course, find out the answers to the questions posed. They can be different, depending on specific life circumstances: the situation at work and in personal life, formal and informal settings, proximity and distance of the interlocutor, report and negotiations. If you, dear reader, think that you are a quiet person, then this book should help you feel comfortable in this sometimes too noisy world and succeed in what is important to you. All parts of the book are written with introverts in mind. nine0003
If you are an extrovert, after reading this book you will better understand the mysterious silent people around you and learn to appreciate their advantages. It does not matter who they are - partners, relatives, friends, colleagues or bosses, employees or seminar participants.
And if you can't say with certainty whether you are an introvert, then the test in the first chapter will help you. This book gives advice that can be put into practice in any situation. We will constantly raise questions, the answers to which will help you in the future. Take your chance and you will get to know yourself better and benefit from interacting with others. nine0003
The book is structured around the way introverts think and communicate: from the inside out. It begins with an analysis of personal qualities. At the very beginning there is a list of typical advantages and difficulties of introverts. I advise you to read the book from the beginning to familiarize yourself with the general information. The second part, in chapters 4 and 5, provides personal and professional information on what helps quiet people and makes them successful. First of all, here is how to make both of these areas "suitable" for an introvert. All subsequent chapters, which make up the third part of the book, talk about how an introvert can use their advantages and overcome obstacles in communicating with others. I have consciously emphasized the most important advantages and disadvantages when establishing contact in negotiations, in public speeches or in meetings. After the test and general review at the end of the first chapter, you will be able to easily assess which of your personal qualities are most significant in a given situation. nine0003
In the chapters of the book you will meet my silent colleagues and seminar participants. Their (anonymous) stories illustrate how introverts can use their strengths in a variety of situations. I hope that their experience will give you the courage to read and make you want to try intro communication.
Silent people rotate the Earth!
Many celebrities were or are (according to what we know about them) introverts. Take a look at this colorful list. nine0003
Introvert celebrities: gallery
Ilse Eichinger – writer, Austria
Woody Allen - director, author, actor and musician, USA
Lance Armstrong - professional racing driver, seven-time Tour de France winner
Julian Assange - WikiLeaks journalist and speaker, Australia
Brenda Barnes - CEO and Chairman of Sara Lee, USA
Ingrid Bergman - actress, Swedennine0002 Warren Buffett - Major Investor and Entrepreneur, USA
Kakau - football player of the German Football National League of Brazilian origin
Frederic Chopin - composer and pianist, Poland
Marie Curie - chemist and physicist, winner of the Nobel Prize in Physics and Chemistry, Poland
Charles Darwin - naturalist, founder of the theory of evolution, UK
Bob Dylan - musician, poet and artist, USA
Clint Eastwood - actor, USA
Albert Einstein - physicist, Nobel Prize winner in physics, Germany
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi - known as Mahatma Gandhi, spiritual leader of the Indian independence movement
Bill Gates - founder of Microsoft, USA
Sir Alfred Hitchcock - director, UK
Michael Jackson - Musician, USA
Günter Jauch - TV presenter, journalist, producer, Germany
Franz Kafka - German-speaking writer from Prague
Immanuel Kant - philosopher of the Enlightenment, Germany
Avril Lavigne - singer, songwriter, Canada
Lorio (real name Vico von Bülow) – humorist, Germany
Angela Merkel - Chancellor of the Federal Republic of Germany
Sir Isaac Newton - physicist, mathematician, philosopher and theologian, UK
Barack Obama - US President
Michelle Pfeiffer - actress, USA
Claudia Schiffer - model, Germany
George Soros - investor and founder of a philanthropic foundation, Hungary/USA
Steven Spielberg - director, producer and writer, USA
Gabriel Strehle - fashion designer (Strenesse), Germany
Tilda Swinton - actress, UK
Mother Teresa Nun, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, Albania/India
Charles Mountbatten-Windsor - Prince of Wales, Duke of Cornwall, heir to the throne of the United Kingdom Great Britain
Mark Zuckerberg - computer scientist, founder of Facebook, USA
You see, many of the most intelligent, influential, gifted, creative, brave and interesting people on the planet belong to Intro. They are no better or worse (as they themselves believe) than Extra. First of all, this is what makes them successful: they have remained true to themselves and their introversion with all the qualities that go with it. This is a wonderful recipe for success that I offer you with all my heart: stay true to yourself as an introvert, do what suits you and your needs. Like the people in the gallery, you will quietly change the world. Dolly Parton once said:
Understand who you are - and do it consciously!
P.S.: There are variants of the term "Extraversion" and "Extroversion" in the literature. However, I have chosen for the convenience of shortening the option "Extraversion", so that you do not have a question why I use the shortened versions "Intro" and "Extra".
Who are you? What can you do? What do you need?
1. Why are they quiet?!
Jonas studies engineering at a technical college with a very good reputation. He has two friends with whom he likes to meet, for example, to go to the movies or play sports together. He is an active Internet user and keeps in touch with school friends and acquaintances via Facebook or Twitter. Now he is a trainee in one of the most famous German automobile firms. In matters of love and romance, Jonas is less successful. There are few girls at the university, and he does not like parties and concerts - he is too tired of loud music and crowds of people. Sometimes he wonders if he should find the right girl through a dating site. nine0003
Jonas is doing well with his studies; he passes all the exams, constantly preparing for the tests. He doesn't like giving lectures in seminars in front of large groups, and he's also afraid of oral exams. In his spare time, Jonas loves to run. Sometimes while jogging, he finds interesting ideas for his second hobby: he photographs views where landscape and technology merge into something new, such as bridges and industrial buildings.
What does "quiet person" mean? nine0015
Introversion and extraversion
People are divided into introverts and extroverts. Almost everyone knows something about these concepts and associates certain qualities with them. On closer examination, whether in life or in literature, it cannot be said that introverts and extroverts can be clearly distinguished from each other. These tendencies, first of all, depend on the personality. A person is born with a tendency to either introversion or extroversion, as well as certain distinctive features and needs that characterize him. Already in children, introverted or extroverted tendencies are strongly manifested. These terms can be better understood if they are not considered in opposition, but as the end points of the same continuum. nine0003
Every person has both introverted and extroverted qualities. And everyone is endowed with a preference in a certain personal space where he feels comfortable. Most people are somewhere in the middle between the two extremes, but still gravitate more towards either introverts or extroverts. All these cases are completely normal, problems can arise only with pronounced extremes. It is especially difficult for those who find themselves on the edges of the continuum; It doesn't matter if it's an Intro or an Extra edge. In addition, it is not easy for any person to live outside their comfort zone. If an introvert like Jonas, sensitive to sounds, lives in constant noise, he will lose a lot of energy, which is difficult to replenish quickly. If he was forced to sell cars every day, instead of doing an internship among the management of the enterprise, he would be constantly dissatisfied and upset. Living outside your comfort zone can cause illness. nine0003
Introversion and extroversion depend on the situation; each person can control himself and turn outward or inward. Adaptation is the ability to flexibly adapt one's thinking and actions to a particular situation. In different life situations, we behave differently. And this has nothing to do with extroversion or introversion, but is connected, for example, with the mind and discipline - when we consciously choose a certain type of behavior. In addition, the way we communicate is determined by the role we play in a given situation. From whether we take a strong or weak position in relation to others, what is expected of us, what impression we want to make on others. nine0003
So, at his mother's birthday party, Jonas will have fun chatting with his younger siblings, playing the role of an older brother. He will greet his elderly aunts politely and patiently answer their questions. Working as a consultant at the firm's trade fair where he interns, he will keep a low profile when dealing with loud clients, but will try very hard to do everything right - after all, this is his professional duty.
Even an uninhibited, extroverted person like Anke Engelke has times when she is speechless or has to keep a low profile. Many Extras I know enjoy moments of silence in stressful life situations (they need that too). The ability to change in this way helps a lot: Intro - Extra changes give us freedom and a full range of actions. nine0003
Thirdly, the culture in which we live contributes to the bias towards Intro or Extra. For example, in a country like Japan, peace, solitude and reflection are valued. A long silence when communicating between two interlocutors is a completely normal phenomenon. Introverts from other countries appreciate Japanese traditions very much. And, say, in the United States, the classic "Extra-culture", the silence of both interlocutors is considered awkward or at least an unpleasant moment. Here it is customary to communicate a lot and spend time in a group - both in professional and personal life. That is why in the US (and here in Germany) introverts have to make more efforts to adapt than in Japan. nine0003
Life also changes. Over the years, people develop and become more moderate in their Intro or Extra manifestations. In the second half of life, introversion is more accessible to extroverts and acquires a special value. It helps to focus on yourself and on your own life, to think about the meaning of life.
Despite the dependence on the situation, culture and even age, introversion, like extroversion, remains a stable trend, which manifests itself in certain qualities and inclinations. The answer to the following key question is very important:
The key question of introversion/extroversion: where does a person draw energy from?
Intro and Extra Energy Sources
How does a person behave when he is tired or stressed and needs to replenish his energy?
There are two possible answers to this question. One type of people is able to get energy from communicating with others. My husband is just such a person. After a busy day, he plays with friends on the football team or goes to meet club members. Someone who does this is most likely an extrovert. nine0003
A different type of person distances himself and wants to be left alone, in peace - without any special emotions and without words. I am one of those people. After a seminar, I like to sit in a hotel room with a book. True, sometimes I meet a good friend and recover by talking with her. After a three-day workshop, I need half a day to be alone in order to restore energy. You are right: the one who recovers like this is an introvert.
Too much excitement irritates the Intro. In work, this can be a task in which many things must be considered at the same time. In private life, it can be a party with strangers and loud music - a situation like this is uncomfortable even for young introverts like Jonas. When Intros experience a lot of emotions, they feel the need to be alone. nine0003
Extras, on the other hand, love emotions because emotions supply them with energy. That is why they seek variety when they are left to their own devices and receive few impressions. For example, in libraries, hospitals or businesses, they look for places where they can start socializing - cafes, shops, tables and all areas where communication by phone and via the Internet is possible. In the office, a computer and phone can be a real lifesaver for Extra, providing a connection with the outside world.
The need for peace
This does not mean that extroverts do not feel the need for solitude. However, introverts need it more to recover from stress and contacts. Without periods of calm, they become irritable and feel exhausted. The intro needs more time to recover before plunging headlong into the fuss again. A three-week vacation in the forests of Sweden is a dream closer to an introvert.
Questions for you
Can you quickly determine whether you are an Intro or an Extra? How do you rate yourself at the moment?
• I'm more of an introvert.
• I am more of an extrovert.
• I have both qualities.
Neither type is better or worse than the other. They simply show what the basic human needs are. If you know what you need, then you can live in harmony with yourself and do what you need. You will be able to correctly distribute the time that you spend alone with yourself and in the company of other people. A balance must be found. Learn to constantly ask yourself, “What do I need?” And you will see: almost always there is an answer. nine0003
Question for living in harmony with yourself: what do I need at the moment?
Windmills and batteries
An example from another area of energy production further illustrates the difference between Intro and Extra. An extrovert extracts energy like a windmill: in order to restore energy, he needs impulses from outside. In addition, he must actively participate in this process and constantly “rotate”. An introvert is like a battery. He is charged at rest and he does not need "foreign" energy, in communication he usually does not show activity. Intro, like a battery, takes longer to load energy. nine0003
Brain Intro and Extra
Brain researchers can now prove that introverts expend more energy on brain activity than extroverts. And for recharging, they need relatively more energy - and constantly, and not just during high mental stress. This high energy expenditure is explained by the processes occurring in the cerebral cortex, which is responsible for decision-making, memory and higher mental activity. Intros need more energy to process impressions and deplete their energy pool faster than Extras, which even in the process of consuming resources can replenish them. Thus, the introvert has to economically spend his internal forces. nine0003
Intro's thinking is more prone to overwork
The introvert's psyche reacts more intensively to external stimuli, he is, in fact, much more susceptible to external stimuli than an extrovert, and therefore is prone to overwork and needs a much larger amount of energy to process new ones. impression. This, for example, may mean that even a slight noise will greatly interfere with Intros like Jonas during mental activity, say, while studying. And his friend Extra, on the contrary, can practice even better with moderate noise in the background (radio!) than in complete silence. nine0003
This doesn't mean that extroverts are more lively than introverts. It also cannot be said that introverts are much calmer than extroverts “by nature”. Even such a definition as "shy" has nothing to do with introverts. After all, the main feature of shy people is the fear of social contacts: they feel that they are not ready to communicate with others. However, this fear has nothing to do with the Intro-Extra continuum: it can be present in both types.
Being introverted means something other than being shy or receptive. nine0031
Generally speaking, receptivity also cannot be 100% attributed only to introverts. It means an unusually high sensitivity of the nervous system to external influences, often leads to increased irritability, but at the same time is associated with such qualities as sensitivity and intuition. Although many receptive personalities are introverts, still 30% of receptive people are extroverts, according to psychologist Elaine Aron. In the application you will find Elaine Aron's website and a test with which you can evaluate yourself. nine0003
Sprint / The Silent Power of Introverts / Talking about the Key Ideas of Susan Cain's Super Bestseller "Quiet"
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Susan Cain's book "Quiet" (published in Russian "Introverts") is a bestseller on how an introvert can discover their strength and use their advantages in an extroverted world. The incredible success of this book showed that its topic is close to many people. Susan Cain's work was named Best Book of 2012 by Amazon, Inc, Fast Company, Kirkus Review, and Barnes and Nobles. The book has over 5,000 positive reviews on Amazon and over 185,000 (!) positive ratings on the GoodReads book portal. nine0003
In this sprint, we will talk about the key ideas of Susan Cain's book.
- for introverts and anyone who wants to understand them;
- for everyone who is interested in psychology and self-development.
Why should you read?
To find out the benefits of thoughtfulness, self-absorption, and other introverted traits.
Who is the author of the book?
Susan Cain is a lawyer, negotiation consultant, bestselling author, New York Times contributor, and introvert. nine0003
Sprint author Anna Baibakova
Editor-in-chief of the project, has a higher economic education, majoring in global economics.