Introvert little sister
The Introvert Sisters - Two quiet girls in a noisy world
October 24, 2022 the-introvert-sisters Show Notes Comments Off on It’s Black Introvert Week UK! With guests Richard Etienne and Jeri Bingham | TIS Ep. 65
Episode SummaryWhat happens when four introverts unite? Believe it or not, lots of fun and laughter! Join Sharon and Lisa as they chop it up with Richard Etienne, founder of Black Introvert Week UK, and Jeri Bingham, founder of Black Introvert Week. The 4 introverts collab to kick off Black Introvert Week UK, discuss the ins and outs of their favourite personality type, and share why – and how – they celebrate their introversion.
The beauty is in the details. For full show notes and transcript click below.
Previous Episode: Triggered, Traumatized & Transformed with guests Alechia Reese and Dani Foster | TIS Ep. 64
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October 19, 2022 the-introvert-sisters Show Notes Comments Off on Triggered, Traumatized & Transformed with guests Alechia Reese and Dani Foster | TIS Ep. 64
Episode SummaryAre you triggered? Cause we’re triggered! It feels like especially since the beginning of the panorama we’re in a constant state of fight or flight. The good news is we don’t have to feel that way all the time. Alechia Reese and Dani Foster, hosts of the famous Triggered AF podcast, join Sharon and Lisa to discuss how to release your triggers and embrace transformation.
The beauty is in the details. For full show notes and transcript click below.
Previous Episode: Relationship Green Flags with guest Stacey Alvarez de la Campa
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October 12, 2022 the-introvert-sisters Show Notes Comments Off on Relationship Green Flags with guest Stacey Alvarez de la Campa | TIS Ep.
63
As a follow-up to last week’s episode on relationship red flags, this week we’re focusing on when you know what’s right. In this episode, Sharon, Lisa, and their guest Stacey Alvarez de la Campa share the signs – the green flags – that told them that the road to romance was looking promising.
The beauty is in the details. For full show notes and transcript click below.
Previous Episode: Relationship Red Flags with guest Stacey Alvarez de la Campa
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October 5, 2022 the-introvert-sisters Show Notes Comments Off on Relationship Red Flags with guest Stacey Alvarez de la Campa | TIS Ep. 62
Episode SummaryHave you ever wished that people came with a warning label? A caution sign? Something to help you avoid impending heartbreak? Or have you ever been in a relationship that you wish had never happened? Whew chile!!! If you’ve ever had these thoughts, you NEED to tune in.
In this special episode marking Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Sharon, Lisa, and their guest Stacey Alvarez de la Campa share their experiences, situationships, and red flags that people should look out for on the road to romance.
TW: Emotional and physical abuse are discussed.
The beauty is in the details. For full show notes and transcript click below.
Previous Episode: Welcome to the Equaliversity with guest Lea Jovy-Ford
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September 28, 2022 the-introvert-sisters Show Notes Comments Off on Welcome to the Equaliversity with guest Lea Jovy-Ford |TIS Ep. 61
Episode SummaryBig visions come in introverted packages, as our guest Lea Jovy-Ford shows. Join Sharon and Lisa as they find out how Lea “accidentally” became the leading voice in the Location Independent movement, has created several successful startups, and is now working on her mission for life: creating an equal world for all through Diverse Leaders Group and the Equaliversity.
The beauty is in the details. For full show notes and transcript click below.
Previous Episode: Taking Back Our Power with guest Tara Furiani
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Transcript
5 Big Takeaways- On discovering introversion: “[Knowing I was an introvert] made it okay for me to be a certain way and for me to be able to identify and meet my own needs.” – Lea Jovy-Ford
- On setting boundaries: “Having strong boundaries with my children is another thing that has made a big difference. So I’m very clear to them that if I need time and space, that I need time and space, and I’ll explain to them why” – Lea Jovy-Ford
- On being people-first: “If people aren’t on good form, they can’t work and I wouldn’t ever want to or expect them to do. So it just makes logical sense to have an environment where the focus and the priority is on people first, you know, literally humans being as well as they can be.
” – Lea Jovy-Ford - On making an impact: “When you see how much money is spent doing stuff that really doesn’t matter, it kind of has an impact. And I just thought, that’s not how I want to spend my life. – Lea Jovy-Ford
- On building differently: “Because the whole purpose of Diverse Leaders Group, the purpose of the way that we want to build the company, as is as a prototype of how do we do this differently if we’re starting from scratch with a blank canvas, and we want to build equality all the way through?” – Lea Jovy-Ford
- “I do little tiny practices of self care every morning.” – Lea Jovy-Ford
- “You stick your head above the parapet, and you know the danger is that it gets chopped off. That’s why most introverts don’t ever want to stick their head above the parapet. – Lea Jovy-Ford
- “Diverse Leaders Group is about working towards equality for everybody and tackling all of the isms, all of the discrimination but doing it in a very different way and using technology to do it.
” – Lea Jovy-Ford - “There’s a collective goal. And if the collective goal is equality, there’s a tension between how we achieve that as a collective, but what it comes down to is individual responsibility and change at the individual level.” – Lea Jovy-Ford
- “I always say I am textroverted – textroverted, but introverted.” – Lisa Hurley
- 01:26: Lea talks about the impact of discovering she was introverted
- 04:09: Lea shares some of the ways she carves out space to honor her introversion in a family of 6
- 06:11: How the location independent movement started “by accident”
- 07:57: The challenge of being visible as an introvert
- 13:17: Lea shares one of her core values
- 15:35: Unlocking your potential and brain power
- 18:17: Solving for equality with Diverse Leaders Group
- 20:11: Why equality makes sense
- 21:26: Lea turns the tables on Sharon, lol
- Vist Diverse Leaders Group
- Follow Lea on LinkedIn
- Check out the Equaliversity
- Join the Diverse Leaders Group community
- Read Lea’s newsletter: Doing Business Differently
- Subscribe to Sharon’s Anti-Racism Newsletter
- Pre-Order Sharon’s latest book: I’m Tired of Racism
- Follow Lisa on LinkedIn
September 21, 2022 the-introvert-sisters Show Notes Comments Off on Taking Back Our Power with guest Tara Furiani | TIS Ep.
60
Season 5 starts off with a powerful and moving episode featuring our friend Tara Furiani. Tara is a mom of seven, an author, and the host of the Not Your HR Lady podcast. In this episode we delve into the story behind her podcast’s unapologetic name, the importance of showing up authentically, the need to normalize mental health, and the beauty of owning your power.
The beauty is in the details. For full show notes and transcript click below.
Previous Episode: Are We Getting More Introverted As We Age?
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Watch on YouTube.
Transcript
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It’s Black Introvert Week UK! With guests Richard Etienne and Jeri Bingham | TIS Ep. 65 October 24, 2022 |
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Triggered, Traumatized & Transformed with guests Alechia Reese and Dani Foster | TIS Ep. 64 October 19, 2022 |
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Relationship Green Flags with guest Stacey Alvarez de la Campa | TIS Ep. 63 October 12, 2022 |
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Relationship Red Flags with guest Stacey Alvarez de la Campa | TIS Ep. 62 October 5, 2022 |
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Welcome to the Equaliversity with guest Lea Jovy-Ford |TIS Ep. 61 September 28, 2022 |
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Taking Back Our Power with guest Tara Furiani | TIS Ep. 60 September 21, 2022 |
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Are We Getting More Introverted As We Age? | TIS Ep. 59 June 1, 2022 |
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Say No to RTO | TIS Ep.58 May 18, 2022 |
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The Introvert Sisters Share Their Podcasting Secrets | TIS Ep. 57 May 4, 2022 |
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Shifting Mindsets on Sustainability with Stacey Alvarez de la Campa | TIS E. 56 April 20, 2022 |
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Introverts and Personality Tests: Why We Love Them | TIS E. 55 April 6, 2022 |
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Exploring Colorism with Dr. Sarah L. Webb | TIS E. 54 March 30, 2022 |
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Please Meet Our Sponsor, All Things Equitable March 30, 2022 |
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Introverted, Caribbean, and Black | TIS E. 53 March 16, 2022 |
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The Introvert Sisters Podcast Needs Sponsors March 7, 2022 |
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Self-Healing Through Affirmations: Tips For Activists | TIS E. 52 March 2, 2022 |
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Where’s My Book Deal?! | TIS E. 51 February 16, 2022 |
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12 Surprisingly Extroverted Things We’ve Done As Introverts | TIS E. 50 February 2, 2022 |
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B*tch I Got 3 Degrees! | TIS E. 49 January 26, 2022 |
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Best of 2021 on The Introvert Sisters December 30, 2021 |
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Two Tired Introverts Reclaim Their Time | TIS Ep. 48 December 1, 2021 |
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Cameras On? Cameras Off? Zoom Etiquette Questions. | TIS E. 47 November 17, 2021 |
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Celebrating Our Wins: Why It’s Important | TISOT 13 November 3, 2021 |
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10 Reasons Why Activism Is Hard | TISOT 12 October 20, 2021 |
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Are You “Textroverted”? | TIS Ep. 46 October 6, 2021 |
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5 Interview Questions Global Majority People Wish They Could Ask | TIS Ep. 45 September 15, 2021 |
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The 12 Commandments of Introverts™ | TIS Ep. 44 September 1, 2021 |
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Introverts, Black Women, and The Return to Work | TIS Ep. 43 August 18, 2021 |
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Making Sense of Censorship | TISOT Ep. 11 August 4, 2021 |
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Meet James Pogson, LinkedIn’s Poet Laureate: Part 2 July 14, 2021 |
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Meet James Pogson, LinkedIn’s Poet Laureate: Part 1 | E 41 June 30, 2021 |
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5 Coping Strategies for Introverted Expats | TISOT Ep. 10 June 16, 2021 |
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The Introvert Sisters Talk Racism, Anti-Racism and Writing | TISOT Ep. 9 June 2, 2021 |
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What If Introverts Treated Extroverts The Way They Treat Us? | TIS Ep. 40 May 19, 2021 |
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A Bloody, Historic Day: Ma’Khia Bryant and Derek Chauvin | TISOT Ep. 8 May 5, 2021 |
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“Indian Matchmaking” Part 2: Why We Have a Love/Hate Relationship With The Show | TIS Ep. 39 April 21, 2021 |
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Woohoo!! It’s Our Birthday! Happy 1st Anniversary to Us | TIS Ep. 38 April 7, 2021 |
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When Meghan and Harry Met Oprah: Part 3_Piers Morgan & Sharon Osbourne | TIS Ep. 37 March 24, 2021 |
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When Meghan and Harry Met Oprah: Part 2 | TIS Ep. 36 March 22, 2021 |
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When Meghan and Harry Met Oprah: Part 1 | TIS Ep. 35 March 17, 2021 |
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Zoom Fatigue is Real: Why Introverts Find Video Calls Hard | TIS Ep. 34 March 10, 2021 |
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Bridgerton, Downton, and The Crown: Why Period Dramas Are the Escape We All Need | TIS Ep. 33 February 24, 2021 |
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“Indian Matchmaking”: Why We Have a Love/Hate Relationship With The Show | TIS Ep. 32 February 10, 2021 |
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The Biden/Harris Inauguration: Oh Happy Day! | TISOT Ep. 7 January 25, 2021 |
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Is Anybody Making New Year’s Resolutions This Year? | TIS Ep. 31 January 13, 2021 |
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Yes, Amerikkka. This IS Who You Are: 2021 US Coup | TISOT Ep. 6 January 8, 2021 |
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COVID Karen, Caribbean Version: The Case of Skylar Mack | TISOT Ep. 5 January 6, 2021 |
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Top 10 of 2020: The Introvert Sisters December 23, 2020 |
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Why The Official Letters of 2020 Are WTF | TIS Ep. 30 December 2, 2020 |
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Our 2020 Buying Guide: You Get a Gift! You Get a Gift! You Get a Gift! | TIS Ep. 29 November 25, 2020 |
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10 Ways Introverts Can Survive Thanksgiving | TIS Ep. 28 November 18, 2020 |
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Is 2020 The Year of the Introvert? Yes and No. | TIS Ep. 27 November 11, 2020 |
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2020 Election: The Battle for The White House| TISOT Ep. 4 November 5, 2020 |
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2020 Election Watch: Vote Like Your Life Depends on It | TISOT Ep. 3 October 28, 2020 |
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Is Freelance Writing the Perfect Job for Introverts? | TIS Ep. 26 October 21, 2020 |
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The “Quarantine 15” is Real. Here’s How to Lose your Pandemic Pounds. | TIS Ep. 25 October 14, 2020 |
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Traveling While Black: The ABC Travel Green Book | TIS Ep. 24 October 7, 2020 |
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No Justice for Breonna | TISOT Ep. 2 September 30, 2020 |
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21 Things Introverts Wish People Understood | TIS Ep. 23 September 23, 2020 |
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Rest in Power, Black Panther: Celebrating and Mourning Chadwick Boseman | TIS Ep. 22 September 16, 2020 |
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Alone, Not Lonely: Why Introverts Love “Me Time” | TIS Ep. 21 September 9, 2020 |
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The 5 Love Languages of Introverts | TIS Ep. 20 September 2, 2020 |
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11 Shady Things You Should Never Say to an Introvert | TIS Ep. 19 August 26, 2020 |
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Why Introverts Love Working Remotely and Don’t Miss The Office | TIS Ep. 18 August 19, 2020 |
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The Sweet, Introverted Spirit of Elijah McClain #gonetoosoon: | TIS Ep. 17 August 12, 2020 |
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Don’t be a Lazy Anti-Racist: Stop Performing Allyship and #Dothework: . | TIS Ep. 16 August 5, 2020 |
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A Belated Introduction to the Introvert Sisters July 15, 2020 |
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Want to Start a Podcast? Learn From Our Mistakes. | TIS Ep. 15 July 1, 2020 |
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How To Be Social on Social Media…When You’re Anti-social: Part 2 | TIS Ep. 14 June 24, 2020 |
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How To Be Social on Social Media…When You’re Anti-social: Part 1 | TIS Ep. 13 June 17, 2020 |
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Are Introversion and Shyness the Same Thing? | TIS Ep. 12 June 10, 2020 |
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Beyond the Black Square: What’s Next After #blackouttuesday | TISOT Ep. 1 June 5, 2020 |
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Michelle, Jill & Erykah: How Black Girl Magic is Helping to Get Us Through the Pandemic | TIS Ep 11 June 3, 2020 |
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Introverting while Black: It’s a Struggle | TIS Ep. 10 May 27, 2020 |
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Could Corona Make You Sick & Tired—of Each Other? | TIS Ep. 9 May 20, 2020 |
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Why The Babyface vs. Teddy Riley Debacle Was Classic Introvert vs. Extrovert Behavior | TIS Ep. 8 May 13, 2020 |
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10 Tips for Living Through the Loneliness of Lockdown Life | TIS Ep. 7 May 6, 2020 |
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Corona Chronicles: Do You Have a “Pandemic Project?” | TIS Ep. 6 April 29, 2020 |
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Corona Chronicles: You Are Not Alone – Everybody is Stressed by the Pandemic | TIS Ep. 5 April 22, 2020 |
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Corona Chronicles: Is Toxic Positivity Making Self-isolation Hard? | TIS Ep. 4 April 15, 2020 |
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Quarantine and chill: 5 shows to get you through the lockdown | TIS Ep. 3 April 8, 2020 |
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Corona Chronicles: Working from home? Get 10 Tips for How To Deal | TIS Ep. 2 April 7, 2020 |
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Corona Chronicles: Is Social Distancing Easier for Introverts? | TIS Ep. 1 April 7, 2020 |
Why introverts love being alone: what the science says
Trending
My little sister is an introvert. Therefore, I know firsthand what they are. She just loves to spend time alone with herself in a room behind a closed door. So she can work more productively, study and just think better. This does not mean that my sister does not like to go out, hang out with friends or spend time with me. Just for her loneliness has never been associated with discomfort. On the contrary, she loves him.
A funny situation, because I, the eldest, am a total extrovert. A person who can also remain alone, but feels comfort and joy to the fullest only in the company of relatives or friends. So I wondered why my introverted sister is so obsessed with being in the comfort zone, low-fi music and bright lights that fill her room.
It turns out that science has already explained everything. And I will definitely share her answers with you 😉
Who is an introvert?
We live in a world where there are still a lot of stereotypes, so it's worth explaining what kind of person can really be called that. An introvert is someone who is more comfortable living in his inner world than in the outside world. Do not think that introverts cannot make friends, spend time with them, or be sociable. Moreover: you may not even know that your friend or relative is the same introvert.
Susan Cain, author of "Silence: The Power of Introverts in a Chatting World," gave a startling statistic in her TED talk: one in two or three people around you can be an introvert. So yes, it’s not a fact that your friendly and smiling classmate is an extrovert. She just communicates, because this is what introverts can and can do. As are you.
Why do introverts get tired without being alone?
We all would like to be alone with our thoughts sometimes, just to relax.
Even extroverts, because constant meetings, hangouts and communication can tire even the most active of them. For introverts, being alone is a natural need, just like sleep, food, money, and relationships. But scientists believe that introverts treat such "rewards" for their work a little differently.
According to a number of studies, introverts find it more difficult to enjoy social interactions, they need to “recharge their batteries” after them, while extroverts charge them just from those very interactions. The “reward system” of our brain is responsible for the hormone dopamine, which works differently for different people. It turns out that introverts are no worse than extroverts - it’s just that the “comfort” of their brain is different.
Let's fix it: it turns out that for introverts, "reward" in a social and understandable sense does not work. They feel less charged, less inspired. Where an extrovert sees a sweet and fluffy cake, an introvert sees a burnt or greasy cupcake with melted cream.
The effect of dopamine on introverts
I have already mentioned this hormone a little higher, and now I will dwell on it in more detail. Dopamine is the key to why an introvert will feel uncomfortable at a noisy party and prefer to watch a movie at home in a narrow circle. This hormone is in the brain of every person, and it is responsible for finding pleasure and our desire for them.
Moreover, dopamine gives us energy, thanks to which we get to pleasures without much fatigue (for example, chatting with girlfriends does not get tired so quickly).
Introverts have a lower dopamine threshold than other people. The low threshold of the hormone leads to the fact that introverts get tired faster from various stimuli - loud music, an abundance of light, voices, and so on. But this, again, is not a problem, because such a feature of your brain can be turned into a plus. It turns out that if you get tired of stimulation faster, then you perceive them faster. In a circle of friends or in a small company, an introvert will literally blossom: he gets “pleasure”, but is in no hurry to get tired.
Profit!
Loneliness does not make an introvert inferior
Of course, an introvert, like any person, can also feel lonely or abandoned, but this feeling does not arise in him more often than in an extrovert. But to “treat” an introvert from his desire to be alone is not worth it. Because it is not a disease, not a deviation, and not a problem.
Unfortunately, not everyone in society accepts this trait of introversion, which is why misunderstandings arise. The same Susan Cain in the book "Silence" writes that now "introversion - along with its kindred sensitivity, seriousness and shyness - has become a second-class personality trait, something between disappointment and pathology."
Isn't that sad, you say?
There is absolutely no point in being sad for an introvert. Fortune has compiled some compelling evidence that introverts can be as strong leaders as extroverts, as they tend to listen to their peers, think through potential challenges ahead of time, and make better decisions under exceptional circumstances.
So, my dear introvert (or interested extrovert), it's not about what type you are. What matters is how well you understand yourself, how you know how to deal with weaknesses and present your virtues. Don't be embarrassed that you want to be alone, just sometimes don't be afraid to show the world that you are not alone at all 😉
Nastya Baskakova
Tags
- loneliness
- self-love
- introvert
- psychology
How to find love for an introvert girl. How to get acquainted with a man to an introverted girl
Relationships with an introvert can cause great difficulties if you yourself are an extrovert or simply unfamiliar with the nature of introverts. They do not like to be in large unfamiliar companies, while they themselves behave very calmly and restrainedly. So, be patient: there are a huge number of gestures, watching which you can build a good relationship with an introvert.
Try to communicate actively in the company of an introvert. Introverts usually do not participate in group discussions themselves. So try asking them directly to bring the person back into the conversation. He will appreciate your directness and desire to help him join the conversation and the team.
How to communicate with an introvert
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Avoid closed questions that can be answered in one word - only "yes" or "no". Try asking the person open-ended questions, such as: "What do you think about ...?", "How do you feel about ...?", "Why do you think that ...?" Questions like these will help the introvert know they have time to think and answer honestly, which is likely to start an engaging conversation.
- Some introverts cheer up with people they know, while others seem completely detached. Don't give up too quickly, but if someone repeatedly answers your questions in monosyllables ("yes" or "no"), this can be taken as a clue that the person needs time.
- Some introverts cheer up with people they know, while others seem completely detached. Don't give up too quickly, but if someone repeatedly answers your questions in monosyllables ("yes" or "no"), this can be taken as a clue that the person needs time.
"You know you need to get out of your shell"
"Well, just start talking to people..."
"Go to different events more often"
“No one will like you if you are so shy and keep silent all the time”
If you're an introvert, you've heard this advice over and over again. Especially when it comes to your personal life. Again and again, holding back anger, despair, and sometimes shame in such conversations, you wondered:
“Don't introverts just have a chance to arrange their personal lives while remaining themselves?
And in order to find love, you have to pretend to be someone else?
Indeed, the very idea of active seeking and many dates seems to have been invented by an extrovert...
You need to communicate a lot with different people, often make new acquaintances, be cheerful, positive, open, talkative .
.. Alas, in this game, an introvert has almost no chance of winning. Therefore, many, although suffering in their souls because of this, prefer to simply give up on their personal lives.
But if someone else's rules don't suit you, you can always make up your own. Nobody can stop you from doing this. Moreover, introverts have many qualities that any extrovert would envy.
It was these discoveries about themselves, dating, men, that helped them change their lives. Now they can help you bring your dream of happy love closer:
Julia's tip 1: Just accept it
I had little contact with other people since childhood. My family did not understand this and often criticized me for my "reclusion".
I tried to pretend to be more sociable, but inside I was angry with myself that it was not working out well. Angry at people. And I was also terribly tired of trying to seem not who I am.
At some point, I realized that in a relationship with a man, I will not be able to pretend forever.
I can't play the role of an extrovert all the time. So why should he lie from the very beginning.
Of course, I don't start telling men when I meet them that I'm an introvert and therefore I need to communicate with me in some special way. It's just that when people ask me how I like to spend my weekends, I answer honestly. I say that sometimes I like to relax alone, I love to read, I love small companies of close friends. I also love going to the pool. In summer I go to the mountains.
I also always ask a man what he does in his free time. After all, if we have a relationship, we will spend a lot of time together. So I was able to quickly understand whether this time would be interesting and enjoyable for both of us.
My advice: There is no point in pretending to be an extrovert if you are an introvert at heart. Just accept it - you will not play someone else's role all your life. When I realized that I am an introvert and I like it, it turned out that I have a lot of cool things that others can envy.
Natasha's tip 2: A little preparation never hurts
Well, I can't be spontaneous. It is impossible to say something funny and funny. And with new people, in general, the tongue sticks to the sky.
It helped me a lot to think in advance what I would tell a man about myself. A short story, about 5 minutes about who I am, what I like, what I don’t like, what I wonder where I am.
I wrote and edited this story in advance. Special thanks to Alla for these tasks. I had the opportunity to choose all the words so that I liked it. No one rushed me, no stress.
Then I re-read my story aloud and corrected it a couple of times. Then I tried to remember it. Then she stood in front of the mirror and spoke a couple more times. I memorized the essence of what I wanted to convey about myself, and not memorize specific words (so as not to sound like a robot).
It helped me a lot on dates. When I was nervous for the first 15-20 minutes, at least I didn’t keep silent and didn’t “hoot” as before.
In addition, I had the opportunity to see how a man reacts to my story, and not worry that I will say something wrong.
My advice: "prepare the sleigh in the summer." It's easy to be funny and spontaneous when you have everything prepared in advance. I heard somewhere that politicians prepare a short five-minute speech for three weeks. It was important for me to find my love, so I also prepared for dates in advance
Zhenya's tip 3: It's better to know in advance what to ask
When meeting men, I was very worried and my record jammed. I started talking about myself non-stop. Although I'm usually a pretty quiet person. Sometimes she said more than she should have.
And I was afraid to ask a man something, I didn’t want to be too intrusive or ask something that he might consider too personal. I was waiting for the man himself to tell everything. Usually they did not tell and communication somehow did not stick.
It helped me a lot in advance to formulate questions that I wanted to clarify with the man.
Moreover, I asked questions that are important for me to understand whether a man is right for me. I also discussed these questions in advance at the training and with a couple of my girlfriends, so I knew for sure that I would not ask anything uncomfortable.
My advice: Think in advance what you want to know about a man. Then these questions are divided into several meetings (so that the date does not turn into an interrogation). So the conversation begins to take shape, and a person can be quickly recognized
C Tip 4 from Veronica: Meet on my territory
My communication with men began to develop better when we met for the first couple of times in a place that was familiar to me. I have a couple of favorite cafes, restaurants, a favorite pastry shop.
I started dating only there. And I was very surprised by the effect. I myself did not expect that I could feel so confident and easy. The conversation went on as if by itself, I managed to tell a lot about myself and learn about the man.
The most interesting thing is that our relationship immediately developed without tension.
Then for 3-4 times we could go where the man likes. But it was already easy for me with him, because we already kind of knew each other.
My advice: To reduce anxiety, make first dates in familiar places. Even if you and a man are not suitable for each other, at least you will have less stress from the date itself. And if you approach, you will get to know each other without stress
Anna's tip 5: More movement
For me, the first couple of dates were just hard labor. I was so worried before, I was worried during, I was worried after. I was constantly coughing from excitement and it was difficult to communicate.
It helped a lot when I was advised to choose some kind of activity for the first dates. Go somewhere together (once we went on an excursion, and then we were able to discuss it in a very interesting way). Do something together - roller skating, for example.
In general, the main thing is not to sit at the table, looking at each other and feverishly thinking what else to say.
At that time, I suggested to my future husband to go to a master class in crossbow shooting for the first time. He agreed. It was fun. It turned out that he shoots well, he also taught me.
My advice: You will always have time to sit at a table in a cafe. And if you and a man do something together, in an unusual setting it will be easier to find topics for communication and then there will be a couple more meetings to talk about.
I'm sure you liked the article and the tips were useful to you. Be sure to say thanks in the comments to the participants of the training "Golden Key of Communication" Yulia, Natasha, Zhenya, Veronika and Anna .
Have you landed on this page by chance?
Professional networking coaches Gil Petersil, Maxim Chernov and Svetlana Tolubeeva say:
Rule #1: Pass people through the filter
It is clear that dating is difficult for an introvert.
Therefore, the best way to start new business relationships is to be more selective. If you just came to a business event, then it would be wise to first look at people, watch them, and only then make contact. You will definitely feel your person.
Rule #2: Approaching one person is the simplest thing
The most convenient people to meet are singles. Remember, they want to talk to you much more than you want to talk to them. Even if some look addicted to their cell phones, it's just an image. This is what they really think: "Please come and talk to me! Please come and talk to me! Somebody come and talk to me!" They are just like you, a little shy, and therefore do not know what to do. Take the initiative. This is the next piece of advice.
Rule #3: Don't look for the perfect words
There is no exemplary strategy of behavior when you start communicating with people. Confidence and calmness are the key to successful communication. Just do something! If you find yourself at an event at the serving table, ask the person standing next to you: "Have you tried this salad yet? I just can't decide, there is such a large selection!" And then introduce yourself.
Rule #4: Try to avoid large crowds
Avoid large groups of people at events , where it will be more comfortable for you to be in a circle of no more than two people.
Rule No. 5: Listen carefully to the interlocutor
When you start communicating with new people, you must not only be active, but also learn to take into account their interests. Remember that listening carefully to your interlocutor (and this is what introverts know how to do) is not only an opportunity to get a lot of useful information about him, but also an opportunity to make a good impression.
Rule #6: Avoid "Why?"
Ask open-ended questions, avoid closed ones, because they have only two answers: yes and no. For example, you want to ask the interlocutor about work. It's better to ask him what he likes about the job, and not ask if he likes the job. It is also important not to start the question with "why", this word makes the interlocutor take a defensive position, give preference to "what" and "how".
