Introverts unite separately in your own homes shirt

On the one hand, communication skills are certainly very important throughout life and are worth acquiring if only for the sake of not being left with nothing; on the other hand, is it worth overcoming yourself every time, renouncing the lifestyle that is close to you in order to gain more contacts, become the soul of absolutely any company, or choose noisy parties instead of a calm, quiet dinner with friends? Not really. By acting in a way that is not natural for us, we risk forgetting who we really are and building our lives around activities and people that are completely not close to us. However, introverts, even if mechanically, still often continue to leave their comfort zone where it is not necessary to do this, but all because of certain stereotypes.

What's wrong with introverts

The first reason people don't understand how introverts survive is that we don't fully understand how introversion actually works. Some mistakenly believe that it is no different from shyness, although these two traits reflect fundamentally different states of the human psyche. Shyness is the fear of social judgment, while introversion is how we respond to cues from our environment, including interacting with people. Back at 19In the 1920s, Carl Jung said that an introvert is a person who draws energy from within himself, and not from interacting with others. He also said that in fact there are no pure introverts and extroverts, otherwise they would have gone crazy a long time ago, so there is still such a thing as ambiversion, something between extraversion and introversion. But, one way or another, many of us, albeit to varying degrees, belong to one of two types.

Extroverts need a lot of stimuli to feel good, while introverts, on the contrary, are more comfortable being alone

The study also showed that, for example, in the process of communication, as well as in moments of winning, extroverts produce more of the hormone dopamine than introverts. At the same time, the desire to limit contacts does not mean that the introvert will refuse to be part of the team or will not want to do his job, rather, on the contrary: he will approach more responsibly what is entrusted to him, pay attention to important details and complete the task better than the extrovert, which is often (but by no means always) sprayed into several cases at the same time.

The second reason why introverts are misunderstood and sometimes even condemned is the belief that creativity and productivity are only possible when jobs are tightly clustered. Accordingly, people who find it easier to find solutions and offer ideas when they are calm and alone are perceived as outcasts, and introverted children also become difficult to educate, although they simply do not want to work in a group.

Many teachers describe the ideal student as an extrovert, which is ironic since introverts tend to be more well-read and get better grades. One study confirmed that the prefrontal cortex of introverts is thicker than that of extroverts, indicating depth of thought and a tendency to plan.

According to Susan Cain, introverts also rarely become leaders, which is not good, because due to the desire to plan work and life in general, they are less impulsive, and therefore not prone to thoughtless risk taking and making emotional decisions. A study by Professor Adam Grant of the Wharton Business School showed that introverts can be good leaders for active and independent workers who do not need to be inspired or motivated to take initiative. An introvert leader can listen carefully and delegate complex interesting tasks to other employees, while an extrovert is more likely to “suffocate” with his presence, activity and unintentional inspiration with his own ideas.

Or are they okay?

The fact that introverts make up 30-50% of the population already suggests that being less social than other people is not at all ashamed, because it does not affect whether you will be successful in your career or personal life. Mark Zuckerberg, Abraham Lincoln, Warren Buffett and many other world famous personalities positioned themselves as introverts, and Bill Gates once said in one of his public speeches: "If you are smart, you can find advantages in your introversion."

Charles Darwin spent a lot of time alone in the woods and refused dinner parties with enviable regularity, and Theodor Geisel, known as Dr. Seuss, a children's book author and cartoonist, invented many of his characters while sitting in the backyard of his house in California. He also avoided meeting children who read his books, because he was afraid that he would not live up to their expectations and would turn out to be too ordinary, reserved person for them.

Edition The Hustle interviewed introverts in leadership positions and here is how these people describe their introversion:

"An introvert is someone who prefers isolation... Someone who isn't necessarily asocial, but someone who excels at internal work processes" - David Acosta, co-founder of Rebel PR

"I feel refreshed and rejuvenated when I can spend time in silence on a regular basis" - Dan Purcell, co-founder of Ever in Touch

"Being an introvert doesn't mean you're a loser or socially awkward person, it just means you need to be alone when others want to be with people." - Kevin Pasko, co-founder of Nested Naturals

In other words, introversion is not a signal that a person lacks social skills; it is likely that he has them in abundance, but he simply does not want to interact with others as often as extroverts do. Of course, you need to cooperate, otherwise the union of introvert Steve Wozniak and extrovert Steve Jobs would not have arisen, but being alone is very valuable in itself, and for some it is also vital.

3 tips for introverts and more

Stop forcing group work on people

Effective work can only be achieved by creating an easy and relaxed communication style for each employee. Meeting and sharing ideas, solutions is good for both extroverts and introverts, but by putting too much emphasis on working together, we forget to pay due attention to personal life, freedom and independence. Similarly in schools, we must teach children to communicate and solve problems together, but in the same way we must teach them to think for themselves.

Be alone with nature

Of course, you don't need to renounce social life and start building yourself a hut in the depths of the forest, but it won't be superfluous to periodically disconnect from the outside world in order to be alone with yourself, your feelings and thoughts. Introverts, who are forced to be more social, need this as much as extroverts: it can be beneficial for any person to pay attention exclusively to themselves and understand what is going on in their own head.

Don't forget to open up to the world

As a rule, others more or less understand what an extrovert is thinking, dreaming about and striving for, but an introvert lives a completely different life, and often people do not know what is happening to him. Although at this moment an introvert can come up with a completely brilliant idea that will change the world or at least make it easier to work in your company. Therefore, periodically, not necessarily on an ongoing basis, share with people what you like, your decisions and suggestions - because the world needs both the activity of extroverts and the thoughtfulness of introverts equally.

12 Introvert Thoughts You Didn't Know About

February 3, 2017 Relationships

Do you feel like your friend or acquaintance is constantly avoiding you? Or just don't like it? Do not rush to conclusions. Maybe he's just an introvert.

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Introverts are not hermits who hate everyone around them. In fact, they really like to chat with close friends or people who share their interests (but the art of small talk is clearly not for them). Introverts also like to seek adventure on their own head, they just don’t always need company for this. They can be great leaders, good listeners, and devoted friends. After all, introverts are people too. But sometimes they can be very difficult to understand ... and forgive.

If, when communicating with introverts, you are increasingly asking yourself the questions “Why is he acting so strange?”, “What is wrong with me?”, “Am I a bad conversationalist?”, “Is he bored with me?”, “Am I annoying? ”,“ Hey, where did he run away to? ”, It’s better to immediately discard self-digging and read about what strange thoughts sometimes come to the mind of representatives of this psychotype. And if you are an introvert . .. well, you yourself know everything.

1. I hope no one tries to drag me out of the house tonight.

We all need to get under the covers sometimes, turn off the phone and spend the whole day in blissful doing nothing. But for introverts, this desire comes much more often.

Therefore, don't be surprised that sometimes your introverted friend or acquaintance will refuse to go to the movies and fun parties, explaining this by a headache, a bunch of things to do, the need to celebrate the cat's birthday, and so on. Just be prepared to hear "no".

And don't try to surprise an introvert and disturb his self-imposed seclusion. Otherwise, from your own experience, make sure that shyness has nothing to do with introversion.

2. If I quickly run from the bathroom to my room, then maybe my neighbor will not notice me

Sometimes introverts feel the need to hide from their roommates. If you are the neighbor, don't worry. Most likely, it's not about you. It's just that sometimes introverts hide from even the nicest people, just to avoid having to exchange a few words with them. So if you see your neighbor running, be understanding and don't show it.

3. I hope someone from the audience took a pet with them

Yes, introverts do not hate others (at least not more often than everyone else). But sometimes they feel much more comfortable in the company of our smaller brothers. The dog will not judge you for not going to university, will not force you to talk about the weather and politics or take pictures with her. Sometimes this is exactly what an introvert's ideal companion should be.

4. Who is calling me from this number? Everyone who knows me knows that I hate talking on the phone

Usually introverts don't like talking on the phone, so calls from unknown numbers send them into a panic. If they do not wait for a call from someone specific, then most likely they simply will not answer. And even if you call from your previous number, it is unlikely that they will talk to you for more than five minutes. Unless you are on the other side of the planet.

This item also has a positive side. If your introvert buddy finally decided to call you, you really mean a lot to him. Rejoice: this is indeed an achievement.

5. I need people to be around right now, but I don't want to talk to anyone. Yes, being friends with or dating an introvert can sometimes be difficult, especially if you're an extrovert.

There are days when introverts want to do something alone: ​​read a book or watch TV. But at the same time they want to feel the presence of another person. This is a special type of loneliness that is unlikely to be understood by extroverts.

If you are an introvert, we wish you always have someone to call to you in such cases.

6. I wish my neighbors were a little less friendly

Naturally, introverts don't dream of rude neighbors. But there are very few things that cause them the same anxiety as neighbors who are overly involved. If they constantly ask how things are, or, worse, strive to visit without an invitation, this is a real disaster for an introvert.

7. I will only go there if I can go home at any time.

Introverts always like to have a plan to escape from a party. Therefore, they often go to a meeting in their car. This is especially true for parties that they do not want to go to in advance.

8. I'd rather stay with my cat

Well, everything is clear here. Catching someone else's pet at a party is a success. But for an introvert, no one can be better than their pet. Even people. Especially people.

Who else will always understand you, never betray you, never disappoint you, and never hurt you (well, except by digging into you with claws)? For an introvert, the answer is more than obvious.

9. It's good that this party is not far from my house

When an introvert is about to go to a party (unless, of course, it is at his best friend's house and not in his favorite bar), he worries much less when he knows that his house is nearby. It’s easier for introverts to get out of their comfort zone if it doesn’t have to move away from the most comfortable place for them.

10. Wouldn't it be better to read a book?

Of course, extroverts also love to read. But perhaps only introverts will understand what it's like: in the midst of a party in a noisy bar or any other place where they would have to party to the fullest, start thinking about the book that they left at home.

11. Please don't start a conversation with me just because we're sitting next to each other.

In cafes, cinemas, on planes—literally anywhere people can sit next to each other—introverts repeat this mantra over and over again. It's not that they don't like to talk. In fact, most introverts really like to find out something interesting about people they don't know. What they don't like is having to carry on a conversation with a complete stranger. This causes introverts a terrible discomfort.

12. I could sit in my pajamas now and watch my favorite TV series

Okay, okay.

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