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Im addicted to masturbating


Is ‘Masturbation Addiction’ Possible? 9 Things to Consider

The term “masturbation addiction” is used to refer to a tendency to excessively or compulsively masturbate.

Here, we’ll explore the difference between compulsion and addiction, and review how to:

  • recognize habits that may be considered problematic
  • reduce or eliminate unwanted behavior
  • know when to talk to a mental health professional

There’s some debate around whether you can truly be “addicted” to masturbation.

Although there’s been a push to medically recognize masturbation addiction, some say it should be recognized as a compulsion, not an addiction.

There’s no clinical diagnosis for masturbation addiction. It’s not recognized as addictive by the American Psychological Association (APA).

Masturbation addiction also isn’t recognized as a mental health condition by the recent edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), which sets the criteria for diagnosing mental health conditions.

Because the APA doesn’t consider masturbation to be truly addictive, people often refer to “compulsive masturbation” instead of a “masturbation addiction.”

Similarly, some don’t consider sex addiction a clinical addiction.

Instead, sex addiction, masturbation addiction, and porn addiction are usually referred to as:

  • compulsive sexual behavior
  • hypersexuality disorder
  • out of control sexual behavior (OCSB)

Frequently masturbating doesn’t mean you have a problem or addiction.

Generally speaking, there’s only cause for concern if you feel your behavior has become excessive or obsessive.

The following scenarios, for example, may be signs of a masturbation compulsion:

  • Masturbating takes up a lot of your time and energy.
  • Your home, work, or personal life is suffering because of masturbation.
  • You might be late to meetings, cancel events, or leave social appointments early to masturbate.
  • You masturbate in public or in uncomfortable places because you can’t wait to get home.
  • You masturbate even when you don’t feel aroused, sexual, or “horny.”
  • When you feel negative emotions — such as anger, anxiety, stress, or sadness — your go-to response is to masturbate for comfort.
  • You feel guilty, distressed, or upset after masturbating.
  • You masturbate even if you don’t want to.
  • You find it difficult to stop thinking about masturbation.

If you want to stop masturbating — or if you want to masturbate less — you may find it helpful to talk to a therapist.

Masturbation has a number of health benefits. It can help you de-stress and lift your mood.

If you’re under a lot of stress, or if you have a mood disorder, you might use masturbation to relax and feel better.

This isn’t wrong in itself, but you might become obsessed with chasing the high of an orgasm. This could lead to masturbation that becomes problematic for you.

Compulsive sexual behaviors might also be neurological, as Mayo Clinic points out. An imbalance of natural brain chemicals and neurological diseases like Parkinson’s might lead to compulsive sexual behavior. However, more research is needed.

Other research in animals suggests behavioral addictions might alter the brain’s neural pathways similarly to substance use disorders. This may lead you to want to do that behavior more often, like masturbate.

Some people do find that they’re able to stop compulsively masturbating on their own.

However, other people may stop without support and professional help.

If you’re struggling to stop masturbating, you may find it helpful to see a sex therapist, ideally one who specializes in treating out of control sexual behavior.

Joining a support group for sex addiction or hypersexual behaviors might also help.

A doctor or other healthcare provider may recommend one or more of the following treatments.

Therapy

Talk therapy can be a great way to figure out whether masturbation is having a negative impact on your life and, if so, how to address it.

Your therapist might ask questions about:

  • your feelings and behavior around masturbation
  • whether you engage in other compulsive sexual behaviors, like partner sex and porn use
  • problems caused by your compulsive masturbation
  • past traumas
  • your current stressors

This will help your therapist determine whether your behavior is considered compulsive.

They can also help you process your feelings, figure out the root cause of your compulsive behavior, and find a way to stop or reduce the behavior.

Remember that what you tell your therapist is entirely confidential. They’re not allowed to discuss your sessions with anybody else.

Support groups

There are a number of different support groups for compulsive sexual behavior.

Your therapist or doctor might be able to recommend one, as could a local addiction center.

Many people prefer online support groups and forums, which you might also find helpful.

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous might be a good place to start looking for support groups.

Medication

There’s no medication for treating compulsive masturbation.

However, compulsive sexual behaviors are sometimes related to underlying mental health conditions, such as:

  • depression
  • bipolar disorder
  • anxiety disorder

In these cases, prescription medication could help with compulsive behaviors.

Compulsive behaviors may worsen over time.

This could put a strain on your relationships — including your romantic and sexual relationships — as well as your mental health.

This, in turn, could lead to lower sexual satisfaction and self-esteem.

Remember that masturbation itself is a healthy, normal human behavior.

Nearly all people masturbate at some point in their lives. Regular or frequent masturbation isn’t necessarily a sign of a problem.

However, if their behavior is affecting their relationships, work, school, or mental health, it could be a sign of a larger issue.

Because of societal stigma around masturbation, your loved one might feel too shy or embarrassed to talk to you about it.

Start the conversation by emphasizing that you’re not judging them, and you aren’t trying to make them feel ashamed.

Suggest some practical solutions — like seeing a therapist or joining a support group — and offer to help them find a few local options.

This might help them feel like they have a solid plan in place.

No matter whether you call it an addiction or compulsion, it’s important to remember that the behavior is treatable.

A trained therapist can work with you or your loved one to overcome unwanted behaviors and improve your quality of life.

Sian Ferguson is a freelance health and cannabis writer based in Cape Town, South Africa. She’s passionate about empowering readers to take care of their mental and physical health through science-based, empathetically delivered information.

how to tell if you're masturbating too much

Worried you might be masturbating just a bit too much but not sure how to stop? As the stigma surrounding masturbation is finally being challenged, most of us know self-pleasuring is a healthy part of life.

If you didn’t know this, then please be reassured that whether you’re experimenting for the first time, single, or in a relationship with a partner who masturbates, solo-sex is perfectly normal and there is nothing inherently wrong with masturbation.

Masturbating not only feels good - whether it results in orgasm or not - it’s been proven to have a number of physical and mental health benefits too. But how often do most people masturbate and what is a ‘normal’ number of times to pleasure yourself? The truth is everyone is different and there is no normal when it comes to solo sex.

While it’s perfectly common for some people to never or rarely feel an urge to pleasure themselves, others may find themselves fighting the urge to do it several times a day and worry they have a masturbation addiction. Here’s what to do if you’re concerned you may be addicted to masturbating, or want to know how to stop masturbating.

What is masturbation addiction?

When we masturbate, dopamine - a neurotransmitter that makes us feel pleasure - is released. After climax or orgasm, hormones called endorphins are secreted in our brains, and these enable us to relax. These substances are what make masturbating feel so great, but people can also become reliant on them.

So how do you know if you’re addicted to masturbating? First, remember that what constitutes normal masturbation behaviour differs for each individual. Some people may masturbate every day, and others every few weeks, months or not at all.

‘What is important to recognise is any changes in your behaviour around masturbation,’ says Kate Moyle, a psychosexual therapist and LELO sex expert. An example of this would be using it as a compensation behaviour for when you have strong emotional reactions, she adds.

What constitutes normal masturbation behaviour differs for each individual. Some people masturbate every day and others not at all.

Clinical psychologist Daniel Sher says he’s seen an influx of clients in recent years who are concerned they are addicted to masturbation or pornography. But, he says there is a debate among psychotherapists and sex therapists about whether masturbation addiction is even a real thing.

‘To be classified as a real addiction, masturbation would need to affect the brain in the same way that illicit drugs, alcohol and internet gaming do. While some research suggests that this may be the case, there is not yet enough evidence to say for sure whether masturbation leads to addiction in the way that drugs do,’ Sher explains.

Regardless, Sher says masturbation can certainly lead to addiction-like behaviours, such as spending excessive amounts of time and money on masturbating.

‘Masturbation is a great stress reliever and people find comfort in it. It's only a problem, if it begins to get in the way of relationships, work and natural sexual desires,’ explains Chris Hill, an addiction expert and founder of charity Rob Hill Foundation.

Are you addicted to masturbation?

With masturbation addiction, you may not even be consciously aware that you are overdoing it, Hill says. He likens masturbation addiction to any behaviour done in excess, saying it will start to have an impact on other areas of your life.

If you are addicted to masturbation, the following may occur:

• Loss of sensitivity

If you are addicted to self-pleasure, masturbating to excess may start to impact your sensitivity. ‘You may lose the ability to feel sexual pleasure with a partner and you may even lose sensitivity as increasingly, it may take more effort and different approaches to achieve orgasm,’ he explains.

• Lack of impulse control

You may stop being able to gauge when and in which environments masturbation is appropriate, private or safe. ‘People may find themselves self-pleasuring at work, in the car or at home where they are at risk of being caught,’ Hill adds, saying this can cause extreme embarrassment if they are interrupted.

• Shame about masturbation

Moyle says real feelings of shame ‘which are reflected by how we consider sex as a society in a wider way’ can have an impact on behaviour, ‘but also how we emotionally process and feel about it which can cause more difficulties and problems. ’

• Guilt about masturbation

The stigma associated with masturbation can also make people who are struggling with addiction feel unnecessary guilt - which also makes someone less likely to seek help.

• Overstimulation from excess masturbation

There may also be physical implications. ‘Over-stimulating the same area in the same way may cause chafing and irritation to sensitive skin,’ Hill adds.

• Sexual dysfunction

Some sex therapists also believe that excessive masturbation can lead to conditions such as premature ejaculation. ‘Research also suggests that excessive masturbation coupled with porn use, can lead to a dopamine overload in the brain. This, in turn, can trigger what is known as porn-induced erectile dysfunction,’ says Sher.

Signs you are addicted to masturbating

According to Hill, if you are concerned about your masturbation habits, all you have to do is try and stop.

‘People with masturbation addiction get to a stage when they are not even responding to true sexual needs, but are simply unable to stop,’ he says.

How to stop masturbating

If you’re worried and want to know how to stop masturbating, Sher says it’s important to remember ‘in and of itself, there is nothing wrong or unhealthy about masturbation.’ But, he says it’s necessary to ‘practice healthy masturbation habits in order to avoid possible negative outcomes’.

As with any addiction, Hill points out that the first step to getting help is to acknowledge there may be a problem and that you want to change your behaviours.

As with any addiction, the first step to getting help is to acknowledge there may be a problem.

If your masturbating habit has reached a point that feels problematic, know you are not alone. Sher advises you seek out support from an appropriately trained health professional. ‘Speak to a clinical psychologist with experience in treating addiction, or a sex therapist, in order to get some support,’ he says.

Moyle says, ‘It can be useful to speak to someone and access help to better understand what is going on for you, any potential triggers and to help you change your behaviour to a more healthy one that works for you. ’

Help and support

If you need further advice or support about anything related to sexuality or addiction, try one of the following resources:

  • Beat My Addictions: reprogram and re-educate the region of the subconscious mind that has become addicted to the activity.
  • CORST: UK's professional body for therapists and counsellors in psychosexual and relationship therapy.
  • ATSAC: resources for the treatment of sexual compulsivity and addiction.
  • Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) and Sex And Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA): support groups based on the 12 steps approaches.
  • Paula Hall: Sex Addiction therapist Paula Hall has written the seminal books Understanding & Treating Sex Addiction and Sex Addiction: The Partner's Perspective.

    Last updated: 31-01-2020

    Paisley Gilmour Sex & Relationships Editor Paisley is sex & relationships editor at Cosmopolitan UK, and covers everything from sex toys, how to masturbate and sex positions, to all things LGBTQ.

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