How to win over an introvert
How to Make an Introvert Fall in Love With You
Have you fallen in love with an introvert and now you are looking for how best to get him/her to fall in love with you too? Here are ten tips on how to make an introvert fall in love with you as quickly as possible!
Have you fallen in love with an introvert and now you are looking for how best to get him/her to fall in love with you too? Here are ten tips on how to make an introvert fall in love with you as quickly as possible!
Getting an introvert to fall in love with you requires patience and a good understanding of how introverts function.
Introverts are special creatures, so you must understand that what might get an extrovert to fall in love may not necessarily work for an introvert.
Here are my 10 tips on how to get an introvert to fall in love with you.
1. Do not try to fix them.
It is important to understand this before proceeding on your mission to win the heart of that dear introvert.
When you consider the daily lives of introverts at work and school, they often feel as if the entire world is trying to fix them.
We see society trying to get them to be sociable, or loud, which isn’t what introverts stand for.
Now, the last thing they want to feel when they withdraw into their love life is the same demand or pressure to be someone they are not.
Even though your attempt to draw them out of their shell may be well-intentioned, remember that people are created to function differently.
So, understand the difference between occasionally pulling them out of their comfort zones (which isn’t always a bad thing), and expecting them to transform into the social butterflies of your dreams.
Trying not to fix them shows that you appreciate and love them for who they truly are, and they are sure to love you for this.
2. Show your loyalty to them
Friendship and love are important to introverts.
This explains why they can be quite picky about who we let into their inner circle.
Therefore they want their companion to be faithful and trustworthy.
They want to be sure that they can entrust their most valuable possessions to you without any fear of regret.
As a result, they will quietly (in their head) try to find answers to a lot of questions, like;
Will you be there for them? Will you preserve their secrets? will you treasure the friendship?
They just want to be sure that their decision is right, and if it is, you can count on them to be extremely devoted to you in return.
3. Help them escape social situations.
It’s no secret that introverts generally get more socially exhausted than their extroverted partner.
Even if it’s their own family, they always want to leave the party, family meal, or get-together earlier than everyone else.
So, even though they might be working on improving their social stamina, they still want to be sure that their significant order understands their “I have had enough, I want to go home” looks when they are out at the party.
By understanding this, and helping them exit the scene without burning bridges, you become special, understanding, and compatible in their eye.
4. Surprise them
Everyone loves good surprises, including introverts.
Whatever you choose to surprise them with doesn’t have to be anything expensive; it only needs to be good and valuable.
This means that spending thousands of dollars arranging a surprise birthday party may not be the best of surprises for an introvert.
Why? Because you just increased their anxiety level by exposing them to the crowd! No introvert wants that.
On the other hand, they are likely to respond more positively and excitedly when you decide to surprise them with a copy of a great book (latest edition).
Now this, to an introvert, is a good surprise.
5. Avoid being too needy
An introvert’s anxiety level rise when they feel overly needed. They consider it to be a threat to their independence.
This is why they always want to be sure that their partner will allow them to wander and ponder.
Their greatest fear is indeed the fear of losing themselves in the relationship.
The fear is real and understandable as they are likely to be consumed by the needs of the other person that they may have nothing left to offer to themselves.
A needy partner can be even more overwhelming for a sensitive introvert who is already open to such a situation.
So show them that you have your hobbies, passion, and friends and that you don’t need him/her to fill all of your empty spots.
6. Engage in their interests and hobbies
According to Diary of an Introvert, nothing gets an introvert more excited than engaging in their hobbies with them.
Some popular areas of interest for introverts include writing, fine art, or watching that favorite movie series.
No matter how boring these hobbies may be to you, make the effort to engage with them as this will stand out in their heart!.
7. Actively listen to them
The fact that introverts are quiet doesn’t mean they have nothing to say.
As much as they listen to others, they also want to be heard.
They may be “word economists”, but they put a lot of thinking into the things they say, which is why they value it so much when their partner truly listens to them.
Normally, introverts need more time to think before speaking, so rushing them into a conversation can be extremely stressful.
Just allow them to process their thoughts by not interrupting and leaving some blank spaces in the conversation.
Also, learn to wait a few seconds after they’ve finished speaking before responding.
If you or someone else interrupts them in the middle of a conversation, make sure to invite him/her to continue after the disruption has passed.
A great way to win the heart of an introvert is to acknowledge what he/she says by paraphrasing and affirming what was said.
So, to win the heart of that introvert, you must develop your listening skills.
8. Give them space
No matter how good they feel about you, everyone needs space, and introverts need it even more, whether a romantic relationship or a friendship.
They find it charming if you do not preoccupy yourself with their case or affairs.
Verywellfamily.com explains that introverts need a lot of space as being around others (partner inclusive) can be tiring as they need alone time to recover some of their energy.
Now, before you start to lose sleep wondering why they don’t want to be around you, understand that introverts need to for alone time isn’t about you but them.
Win their heart over by leaving them alone to think and process the situation. Trust me, introverts find this sexy!
It’s just amazing how possible it is to win their love by simply doing nothing!
9. Make them feel understood
Recognizing and appreciating an introvert’s strengths is one of the best things you can do for them as they can sometimes get extremely hard on themselves.
This is because they sometimes recognize areas where they could improve or where they may not be reaching your (or the world’s) expectations.
The problem with this is that it often appears to them like the world favors outgoing personalities more.
So, praise them for their quietness, intelligence, ingenuity, compassionate heart, and listening skills.
By letting him/her know that their presence is felt on this planet, the introvert will undoubtedly fall in love with you in no time.
10. Be patient with them.
With introverts, it can sometimes feel like they are taking an eternity to make their decisions.
As a result, you may be tempted to rush things by being forceful. Don’t.
Understand that introverts take longer than extroverts to open up.
They just want to be extra sure that the person they are with will provide them with the needed space and time to process their emotions.
So, you risk pushing them away if you try to force intimacy too fast.
It is more rewarding to gently and patiently allow them to open up in their own time, as this can help him/her fall in love with you much quicker.
Conclusion
Getting an introvert to fall in love with you isn’t as difficult as you think.
You only need patience and a good understanding of how introverts function and thrive.
Do this, and you will be getting your introvert crush to fall in love with you in no time!
How to Make an Introvert Fall in Love
How do you make an introvert fall in love? If you’re reading this article, you might already know that it’s not so straightforward.
Introverts are an anomaly to many because we don’t wear our emotions on our sleeve. We keep our greatest treasures hidden, secretly hoping that the right person will have the map to unlock the gates to our heart.
I have the map, dearest.
Today I’m sharing 8 ways to make an introvert fall in love. Follow these tips to a T and the gentle heart of an introvert will be yours to cherish.
Handle it with care, because an introvert’s love and loyalty is not easy to win. But trust me, it is worth the effort!
Just because we’re quiet, doesn’t mean introverts have nothing to say. We may be word economists, but we put a lot of thought into what we do share. That’s why we really appreciate it when our partner listens on a deep level.
Feeling rushed in conversation can be really stressful for introverts, who need more time to think before we speak. Avoid interrupting us, and leave some empty spaces in the conversation so that we can process our thoughts. Try waiting a couple of seconds after we finish our sentence before chiming in.
If you or someone else interrupts your innie mid-sentence, be sure to invite him to finish his thought once the distraction has passed. Trust me when I say that he has been secretly hoping for such an invitation, and will be very impressed and grateful for the gesture.
If you really want to make an introvert fall in love, acknowledge what she says through paraphrasing, and affirming statements: “I really liked what you said about xyz, it shows that you’re perceptive.”
2. Don’t be too needyNothing makes an introvert’s anxiety levels rise like being needed too much. It’s important that we know that our partner will give us space to wander and ponder.
Needy people threaten an introvert’s independence. We worry that we will lose ourselves in the relationship. We’ll be totally engulfed by your needs, and we won’t have anything left for ourselves. For sensitive introverts, who are already susceptible to overwhelm, a needy partner can be beyond exhausting.
If you want to make an introvert fall in love, show her that you have your own hobbies, friends, and passions, and you don’t expect her to fill all the empty spaces of your existence.
3. Be patient
You might be tempted to speed things along with an introvert by getting pushy.
Don’t. Introverts need more time to open up than extroverts. We want to feel like the person we are with will give us the space and time we need to process our feelings.
If you try to force intimacy (both physical and emotional) too quickly, you risk pushing your introvert away. Paradoxically, you can make an introvert fall in love much more quickly when you patiently allow him to open up in his own due time.
4. Be honest and realIntroverts tend to be highly perceptive. We can spot a fake from a mile away, so you might as well be honest from the get-go. Not only that.
Being around people who are open and real makes us feel like we can be ourselves. So, show your flaws, nerd out, get your goofy on – this is the secret to make an introvert fall in love.
5. Be curiousEvery introvert has a burning desire to be understood. If you really want to ignite our love, get curious about who we are beyond the surface: our values, opinions, passions, desires.
We introverts have a secret world of ideas and dreams that we want to share with the right person. Gently invite us to open up by asking specific questions, and truly listening to the answers.
But be careful not to turn the conversation into an interrogation. Weave in your own stories and insights so that your innie doesn’t feel too put on the spot. At the same time, be on the lookout for subtle cues that an introvert likes you.
6. Slow downIntroverts tend to move at a slower pace than extroverts. We don’t like to stuff our day with endless activities. We need time to slow down and reflect on our experiences.
Try not to overschedule your introvert. Leave space in the day to do nothing, have a cuddle, take a nap, lie in the grass, and look at the clouds. Allow her to just be for a while. She will appreciate the slower pace, and it will bring out the best in her.
7. Be comfortable with silenceConversation can be exhausting for introverts, even if we like you.
When we go silent, it is not necessarily an invitation for you to fill the empty air space with chatter.
Sometimes, we don’t want to speak or listen. We just want to sit in silence and know that there is nothing awkward about it. Give us the space to do so by embracing the quiet moments, instead of anxiously trying to obliterate them with words.
8. Be loyalIntroverts value loyalty in friends and lovers. We are super selective about whom we allow into our inner circle, so we expect our companions to be loyal and trustworthy. We want to know that we can trust you with the precious gifts we give you.
Will you stick by us, keep our secrets, and cherish our friendship? If so, we will be fiercely loyal to you in return.
I hope you found my little roadmap to make an introvert fall in love helpful! Remember to use these tips with care. An introvert’s heart is not something to be toyed with, after all!
Have a specific question?If you have specific questions about an introvert you’re swooning over, please do ask away in the comments below.
🙂 And if you really want to get inside the mind of an introvert, subscribe to my mailing list, where I share secrets I never post on the blog.
Xo,
How to fall in love with an introverted man?
On Saturdays he drinks unfiltered beer with carefully filtered company. She considers any proposal to join a new party to be complete heresy.
He also furiously ridicules the very idea that a person needs a person, and that, in general, it would be time to get out of his hole.
I can't imagine how you managed to meet him, but if you need him, don't worry, we'll catch him!
Introverts. Why do we love them?
Such guys will not entertain the public with jokes about Varvara, but they can easily fall in love with themselves. Their strengths for women are just devilishly captivating!
In the eyes of an introvert there is some kind of mysterious, filled with meaningfulness.
Even when he does not understand something, he still does not understand very subtly, shrewdly and cleverly.
If only because when you are silent, the chances of saying stupid things drop significantly.
They are slow. They know what they want and are steadily moving towards it. Well, women, airy and rushing creatures, are very calm next to those who are not sprayed and know how to look deeper.
Introverts do not like shallow water. If you have a huge unspent inner world, he will really appreciate it. It seems as if they have another personal space of their own.
What are introverts?
Male introverts are very different, but Carl Jung globally divides them (among other things) into emotional and logical subtypes.
Logic introvert
“Breadcrumbs” and “icebergs in the ocean”, which you can't get through with anything. The coldest type and, as a rule, such an introvert is closed quite consciously.
Often falling in love is not part of his plans, he does not need to loosen his nervous system. He likes to keep a sober mind and is frankly frightened when he covers: “What to do, how to be, where to run and who is to blame?”
How to attract?
We are all fascinated by opposites.
Perhaps it is written somewhere deep in the genes. People with excellent gene pools have stronger and healthier offspring. Or maybe it's an eternal craving for what we don't have.
Therefore, cold introverts are usually attracted to optimistic, open and cheerful girls. Perhaps such a couple will be the most harmonious. Although it is more difficult for them to find a common language, they are very different.
Ethic Introvert
Usually calm, but more open and gentle. Ethics are much more comfortable, and in a good mood they can even entertain the company instead of an extrovert.
But in general, they also need peace and quiet, and crowds of people exhaust them. They are easier and easier to understand relationships, compared to introverted logicians.
However, when trying to quickly reduce the distance, they deftly dodge, while maintaining the inviolability of their territory.
How to attract?
Often, the economic and domestic introvert-ethicist needs a person who will pull him out of a safe harbor into the open world.
He could do it by himself, but business at home. Sat here, sat there. Computer, books, cat - well, you know, there is no time. This type of male introvert appreciates inner subtlety in people most of all.
The ability to talk heart to heart, provide new interesting information will also be a bonus for him. But most importantly, do not ask for business advice. As a rule, they are not strong in this.
Introvert male capture strategy
Let's start with safety.
Do's and Don'ts:
Copy his behavior
Psychologists have proven that we feel sympathy for people who are like us. And if we - consciously or not - want to fall in love with someone, then we try to behave in the same way as the object of sympathy.
Not worth it. If the two of you keep silent and keep your distance, this will not lead to anything - take matters into your own hands, only carefully.
Climb into the soul
Contrary to popular belief, every introvert is passionately eager to find a person who would want to plunge into his deep and contradictory nature.
He devotes a lot of time to his inner world.
And usually very pleased with him. Even ready to share "acquired". But it's easier to hike Kilimanjaro than it is to get to this stage of a relationship with an introvert.
If you don't make tactical mistakes, over time he will begin to trust you.
Intrude into his space
What happens if you visit an extrovert without warning?
One can be subjected to stormy joy. Even being fed delicious treats prepared just in time for such an occasion.
If you suddenly rush to an introvert and be attentive enough, you can see how a spectrum of suspiciously gloomy emotions sweeps through his eyes.
Introverts don't like intruders.
They value personal things very much: things, time, space. Everything in the world for them has a very clear boundary between “mine” and “not mine”. And you can't cross the line!
Throw tantrums
What introverts absolutely hate is tantrums.
Especially emotional, noisy, with special effects in the form of flying dishes. The raised tone literally plunges them into a stupor.
When you try to have a loud quarrel, you may stumble upon an unexpectedly strong rebuff. And, perhaps, to become a witness to a unique phenomenon: the quantum teleportation of an introvert.
Here he was, but now he is gone! Only the cup remained. He'll take her later, by the way.
Tactical guide
Moving on to practice… These little nuances will help build a relationship with an introverted man.
Listen
Remember: there is no better, more effective and faster way to get close to an introverted man than to listen to him. It's the most important!
Find something he is really passionate about. Bring him out to talk about it and be an interested listener. Thus, you literally diagonally shorten the distance to the circle of the elect.
Listen, understand, be interested, do not interrupt in any case.
Be interested
Do not be afraid to show and even say directly that you like him. Just not in a stressful way. Don't demand an answer, especially if it's a logic subtype.
It may seem that in such matters he is a little slow. Well, yes, it’s just that the introvert is trying to understand the sphere of relations with the mind.
He needs time to weigh, structure information, collect data, take into account nuances, etc. Give him that time. But start the process.
Do not limit
Actually, everyone needs freedom, but for an extrovert and an introvert, these are slightly different concepts. It is more important for an extrovert to not be limited in activities, activities and communication.
Introvert - not to break into his world without knocking. Let him feel that you will not change his usual way of life. Such people are pleasant and safe for him.
Appreciate
The modern world is "imprisoned" for extroverts.
They are brighter, it is easier with them, they are noticed.
Introverts know this. And, deep down, they themselves often consider themselves a little “out of shape”. Even if they like odes to extroverts or laugh that they simply do not want to spread the virus of show off and stupidity.
Do not allow him or yourself to believe in such nonsense.
Introverts are individualists, they think with their own heads and do not follow the crowd. They are generally less subject to social influence.
An extrovert's attitude is as volatile as the currency exchange. But the attachment of an introvert is stable and deep. Appreciate it and never forget why you fell in love with him.
What's next?
And so it happened! You slipped through the world of your beloved introvert man and even got to his Saturday gatherings. What to do now?
Develop, hear each other, compromise, love, respect, understand. Nothing new.
Just one last secret: spend cozy evenings together.
Hugs are sometimes so effective that the rest of the psychology may not be needed.
An introvert loves you: how can you guess? - Relationships
It has become fashionable to call yourself an introvert. "You can't offend introvert” or “Don’t pester an introvert, he feels bad about it” - similar phrases often sound like an excuse or with a touch of irony. But people who every day you have to step over yourself to communicate, really exist! For others, they may look like ungrateful beeches, but in fact everything not quite so ...
The concepts of "introversion" and "extraversion" are introduced into psychology Carl Jung. He designated such basic criteria for these psychotypes: extroverts, the movement and expenditure of libido (vital energy) is directed to the outside world, for introverts - into the world of reflection, the nature of the movement of energy during this cumulative.
To date, in popular psychology, the interpretation of these concepts have changed somewhat.
But the general meaning remains. Extroverts are called the type active, sociable people with a stable nervous system. And introverts are closed, people "obsessed" with their own experiences, while very sensitive, often with a weak nervous system (and accompanying physical illnesses).
Encyclopedias say the following about behavioral traits. Extroverts dress more flamboyantly, their office doors are often open, and there is always a treat for colleagues on the table. Introverts, on the contrary, choose a practical style of clothing, lock themselves up, try to isolate their personal space, unlike extroverts, listen to calmer music, etc.
Photo: © adme.ru
But all this does not mean that introverts hate or fear people. They love them, deeply and sincerely, only secretly ... And not all of them. But if you enter this circle, then there will be no more reliable friend or life partner.
Capriciousness. Surely you knew the person before a romantic relationship began.
Compare whether his behavior has changed. Quicker everything, before he did not go to the cinema too often, to concerts, to clubs on parties, went on picnics, etc. And he does it to you. He stepped out of his comfort zone for you. Yes, he can start to grumble and say that he doesn't like everything, the movie bad, food is tasteless, people around are bad and drunk ... He is not naughty. He feels that way, but endures for you!
Do not try to entertain and amuse an introvert if he seems sadder than usual. It's impossible. Most likely, it was you who upset him, but you can hardly guess what exactly. And the fact that you do not understand this additionally offends the introvert. In such a situation, you just need to hug him or leave alone for a while so that he survives and rethinks the situation.
Do not ask what an introvert wants and whether he liked it something. If he does not avoid it, then he liked it, or he just feels good next to you, and no matter where and what to do.
There will never be stormy stories about impressions.
At the same time, an introvert is really comfortable and cheerful in society. But it must be a small circle. If a big noisy company robs him of energy, the environment of loved ones charges. Will he participate in discussions or sit silently - it doesn't matter. If people are well known and dear, he will receive positive emotions, watching them feel good.
Silence. Does an introvert seem to be uninteresting in you? He is everything time is silent and reluctantly answers questions? If he is next to you, then very interesting. And you are entitled to share the precious silence. Or got a devoted listener. Introverts like to be told something especially about the personal, about thoughts and doubts - they regard this as a favor confidence. And the introverts themselves speak in silence.
Of course they can talk. And how capable of frankness. But they do this infrequently and only when they are sure that the interlocutor will understand them.
Appreciate if the introvert talks to you about their thoughts and feelings. And in no case do not question what has been said, do not show distrust. So you force it to close again, and now for a long time. If the introvert said "I love you" is a thousand percent true.
Hidden humor. Introverts have a great sense of humor, they have a sharp mind and no less sharp tongue. But they show it only in immediate surroundings. In public, in a working or official setting, on the contrary, they can be overly serious. If an introvert started joking with you, then you have moved into the category of people close to him.
But while maintaining this style of communication, remember that introverts do not tolerate vulgarity and rudeness. Especially if taunts of this level will be addressed to them. You may not get an answer right away, but you immediately fly out of the circle of trust, and then experience revenge in the form of a very painful a subtle sarcastic prick, which, moreover, can humiliate you in public.
Part of the inner universe. Introverts agree to serious relationship and report it only after delving deep into themselves. And this will not happen after a couple of months of dating. Before making an internal decision, they need to go through the whole cycle of possible emotions. in a relationship and make sure the person doesn't get on his nerves. To agree to a long-term relationship for an introvert is to make a person a part of their inner universe. Not a partner, not a patron or someone else, but someone who will become part of the introvert himself.
If an introvert is convinced that this is possible and says “I swear to love in joy and sorrow, in sickness and health, in wealth and poverty…”, this is for a long time and practically cannot change. He will not make a fuss and pack a suitcase after a quarrel. Always before how to say something, think about the consequences and what painful feelings can deliver. But...
They leave forever.
Introverts can let in temporary partners, but not out of loneliness, but under pressure - circumstances, relatives or stereotypes. However, if they still don’t feel that this person is “one of them”, then they use the first opportunity to escape.
The behavior of an introvert immediately signals this nature of the relationship. He expresses claims to a partner, criticizes, shows irritation, tries to spend time without him, sometimes lies (although by nature introverts are honest). And in this case, nothing will depend on you.
Read also: How body language betrays a liar >>
But you yourself can destroy a serious relationship with an introvert. And you don't even know how to do it. An introvert won't talk about grievances, often will not even show an appearance, but will begin to accumulate them and build a wall. AT at some point, this protective wall will grow so much that he will no longer feel pain, and love at the same time - your words and deeds will become like rain or wind, not penetrating the house.
