How to release someone you love

How to Let Go of Someone You Love: 9 Ways

10 Ways to Let Go of Someone

1. Decide Whether the Relationship Is Worth It

Behavior psychologist Wendy M. Yoder, PhD, encourages people to start alleviating relationship anxiety by leveling with themselves honestly. Is the relationship worth it? This is not an easy question or one to take lightly. But, at the end of the day, is this person right for you? Keep in mind, as Esther Perel tells us, there is no perfect partner. Humans are imperfect and that’s OK! The question isn’t, “Are they perfect?” The question is, “Are we good for each other?” Clearly every relationship is different, but if you think gaslighting is in play, it’s always worth a check-in. If you’re experiencing gaslighting at work, it might be time to look for another job. If a friend is gaslighting you, it might be time to move on from that friendship. If the person gaslighting you is a family member or someone you’re in a romantic relationship with, it can be trickier to make a clean break.

2. Have a Conversation

After evaluating your relationship—maybe even cranking out a good ole’ pros and cons list—it may be worthwhile to have a conversation with the other party. Often, disconnections happen in relationships simply because there’s a lack of communication. Try to sit them down, ask some uncomfortable questions and see how they receive your concerns. If they deflect, dismiss or get extra defensive, then you know the next move. If, however, they’re willing to work through the kinks, then you may have a change of heart.

3. Cut Off Contact

You’ll never be able to heal if you keep a person—especially a toxic person—close to you. Delete their phone number and email address and unfollow them on all social media. This will especially come in handy if, during a moment of weakness, you’re tempted to reach out again.

4. Accept That You’re Only in Control of Your Own Actions

Chances are, the person you’re cutting out of your life is an adult and can therefore think and act for themselves. Psychotherapist, professor and blogger Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D. writes, “You can’t change another person, so don’t waste your time and energy trying. I think this is the biggest factor that pushes people to hold onto unhelpful behaviors, like the need to please. We think, ‘If only I do everything for everyone, they’ll never get mad at me.’ Wrong!”

5. Lean on Friends and Family

Having other people to confide in is crucial. In addition to acting as a sounding board, a friend or family member is an unbiased third party who can reality check the situation and remind you that what you’re feeling isn’t “crazy” or “exaggerated.”

6. Trust the Process

Letting go of a relationship can be painful, but it’s important to understand that whatever short-term stress or anguish you’re feeling will be worth it in the long run. Cohen adds, “We must accept the person we are in this moment and the way other people are, too. As time goes on, we continue to learn that things don’t always go as planned—actually, they pretty much never do. And that’s OK: If you become aware of yourself and your part of your relationships, they will improve; however, you may also have to accept facts about certain people in your life.” Don’t put pressure on yourself to heal overnight, whether you’ve ended a relationship or someone else has. According to a 2007 study published in The Journal of Positive Psychology, most people are able to bounce back from a breakup in less than three months. Researchers looked at 155 participants who had gone through breakups in the past six months (they had been in relationships of different lengths of time, and were a mix of dumpers and dumpees). What they found was that 71 percent of them started to feel much better at the 11-week mark. Relationship expert and dating coach Samantha Jayne agrees. “Let yourself grieve, cry, talk about it and let it all out but set a time limit,” she says. Give it a few months, she advises and then move on and get back out there (if that’s what you want). And how are you supposed to do that? “To help you move on, cut off contact, stop staring at your phone and avoid cyberstalking. Use this time to look at your relationship and ask yourself what are the positive learnings out of this.

7. Prioritize Self-Care

The dissolvement of a relationship can take a huge toll on your mental health. So especially if you’re coming from a gaslighting situation, self-care is paramount. By focusing on yourself, you’ll feel more capable of standing up for yourself and dealing with all the challenges life is throwing at you. From writing gratitude lists to watching motivational TED Talks, here are dozens of super-simple ways to practice self-care.

8. Reframe Your Definition of Forgiveness

It’s easy to say: “I can’t forgive them because they haven’t expressed remorse. If they apologized, we’d be all good.” But that’s where you need to flip your definition of forgiveness and think of it as a gift to yourself as opposed to for your friend. If you forgive a person privately in your heart—especially if you know it’s not possible to turn the other person over to your side—it’s healthier for you. The advice New York City-based psychotherapist Sarah Saffian, L.C.S.W. M.F.A. gives her clients? Write a letter that you won’t send and use that as a tool to find the words to express yourself. What made you angry? Why are you still angry? Spell out what it will take for you to care less? Per Saffian, you can’t switch off feelings, but holding onto them gives the other person too much power. Writing a letter is an act of letting go.

9. Rebound with Caution

Don't be afraid to make like Aaliyah and “dust yourself off and try again,” but only when you’re ready. A Queens College study found that people who rebounded reported higher self-esteem and confidence, plus were not as hung up on their ex. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you should sign up for Tinder the day after your split. “Use this break as an opportunity to fall in love with yourself. When you feel complete on your own is when you're ready to get out there and meet someone,” says Jayne. A bit New Agey, maybe, but sound advice nonetheless.

10. Seek Professional Help

Some relationships are easier to leave than others, and romantic relationships are one of the tougher ones. If you suspect leaving your partner won’t be as straightforward as cutting off contact, seek out the help of a licensed therapist—specifically someone who specializes in relationship therapy—who can help you define what you’re going through and help you get past it. Depending on the severity of your situation, you can also call the National Abuse Hotline at 800-799-7233 for urgent help.

How to let go of someone you love and move forward

Ready to take the initiative & join our newsletter?

Mind & Meaning

13 ways to move on from a relationship for good Posted by:

Team Tony

We’ve all had an ex that we can’t get out of our minds. A harmful friendship we hold on to even though it exhausts us. Or even a family member who is toxic. Why can’t we learn how to let go of someone, even when we know they’re not good for us?

Holding on is a natural human instinct – and it’s also a critical way that we stop ourselves from reaching our goals. Because ultimately, not letting go of someone you love can harm you: it prevents you from achieving your true potential.

Why is letting go so hard?

Why do we have so much trouble learning how to let go of someone we love? We like to hold on to things, situations and especially people because they fulfill our need for certainty. Certainty is one of the Six Human Needs that drive every decision we make. Letting go and moving on from a relationship often entails a large amount of uncertainty. Even if your relationship has reached its conclusion or one or both of you are unhappy, there is still an amount of certainty there that can make it hard to know when to let go of a relationship.

We may also use the past to justify our decisions. Remember when you were rejected by several potential mates in high school or college? Those instances could make you hold on to a partner – even one who is not good for you – because you are afraid you won’t find anyone else. Those memories justify everything for you. When you’re unable to let go, those memories become a part of your story and work against you.

Sometimes, we truly do not want to let go of someone – but they want to let go of us. Letting go of someone you love is even harder when your feelings for them haven’t changed. Remember that relationships are a place you go to give, not to get. And sometimes the best thing you can give your partner is their freedom. Listen below as Tony works with Dano to help him embrace the power of letting go.

Signs you need to let go of someone

Learning how to let go of someone you love – someone you’ve built a deep connection with and whom you’ve shared your life with – is likely one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. That’s why so many people break up, but stay in touch, never understanding when to let go of a relationship. If these signs are familiar, it’s time to ask yourself if you need to end it completely:

You’re always wondering what could have been
You think of the person constantly, or at time when you’d rather not
You spend a lot of time reliving memories or looking them up on social media
You bring them up often when talking to friends
When you’re feeling down, they’re the first person you think to call
You make changes to your life or appearance to get them back
You feel anxious or even angry when you see the person
You blame them or want to get revenge for perceived slights

Letting go of someone you love isn’t easy, but holding on holds you back from the possibility of an extraordinary relationship. To focus your energy on living positively and proactively, you need to learn how to move on. When you do, you’ll find that letting go can have many benefits.

What happens when you let go

Breaking up with a partner or refusing to speak to a family member aren’t the same thing as letting go. You can still feel love, resentment and hostility that affect your decisions – you may feel all three. That means you’re letting them call the shots instead of controlling your own life. And that never leads to happiness and fulfillment.

Learning how to let go of someone you love is the only way you can be the architect of your own life. It’s also one of the most challenging things you’ll ever have to do. Once you overcome that fear, you’ll feel free. You’ll feel relieved. You’ll know that you have the inner strength to conquer anything. And you can begin to forge your own path to fulfillment.

How to let go of someone

Knowing you need to let go and actually letting go are two very different things. These tips will help you discover how to move on once and for all.

1. Recognize when it’s time

Learning when it’s time to let go is often the most difficult part of this process. But in many cases it’s necessary to let go in order to unlock the life you deserve. Though each relationship is different, most find it’s time to end things when the relationship causes them more pain than pleasure or when trust has eroded to the point where the romance cannot be rekindled. Moving on from a relationship becomes easier when you are certain the time has come and that your future happiness depends on a new start.

2. Identify limiting beliefs

Do thoughts like “I could never be alone” or “I’ll never find someone else who loves me” constantly run through your mind? Understand that these are not facts – they are limiting beliefs, and while beliefs have the power to create your world, you have the power to transform them. Replace them with empowering beliefs like, “I am open to what the universe has in store for me” and “I love myself and deserve the best. ” You may feel silly at first, but when you use these positive incantations as part of your daily routine, you will see results.

3. Change your story

Your story is what you tell yourself to justify your decisions and is based on your limiting beliefs. For example, you tell yourself you can’t have a successful relationship because of how you grew up. Your parents argued in front of you all the time and eventually divorced. You can’t let go of the belief that all relationships are bound to fail, and this is why you can’t maintain a healthy romantic relationship. You use this past experience to justify your current life state – but you can change your story so that your past empowers you instead of holding you back. Your past is not your future unless you live there.

4. Stop the blame game

Letting go of someone you love doesn’t mean you have to negate the truth, but don’t let it influence your path. It is human nature to point the finger at someone else or a past incident instead of ourselves. This is why you blame your significant other at the end of a relationship or another person for something terrible that happened to you. Yet even when the facts are terrible or heartbreaking, you must let go of the past. Instead, use your experiences as a tool to push you to learn and grow so you can create a healthy relationship with someone else.

5. Embrace the “F” word

Going your separate ways does not have to be an experience filled with anger or judgment. When you recognize that the person is preventing you from growing or achieving your dreams, you can forgive them and also forgive yourself for any pain the separation may cause and wish them the best for the future. Remind yourself that to create space for a new, healthy relationship, you must learn how to let go of the old one. Practicing forgiveness is a chance to grow and live in the mystery of what’s next.

6. Master your emotions

When a relationship ends, it’s common to feel incredible amounts of anger and resentment – especially if you were not the one who decided to end it. Maybe at first you felt righteous about it, like the anger was helping you move forward. However, after some time has passed, you start to see that it’s unhealthy for you, and you’re not sure how to let go of someone you love and move on with your life.

Negative feelings take a toll on your emotional and physical health – anger is even associated with heart disease – and will affect your future relationships. Recognizing this behavior as unhealthy is the first step in the process of letting go. If you want an answer regarding how to move on, you are already on the right path. The good news is that in the process of learning how to let go, you can also learn how to control your emotions.

7. Practice empathy

Learning how to move on from a relationship that once brought you joy can be very difficult. When you’re letting go of someone, it’s helpful to think of both sides of the story. See the situation from their point of view. Look at this person from the same place of compassion and empathy that you did when you were happy together. Yes, your ex may have hurt you, but they likely did not do it out of malice. They felt their needs weren’t being met in your relationship and they decided to take action in order to improve their own emotional state.

8. Adopt an attitude of gratitude

As Tony says, “When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.” That’s why practicing gratitude is the antidote to the sadness and anxiety you feel when you’re learning how to let go of someone. Let go of your expectations and focus on gratitude for what you once shared. This small shift in your perspective will help you realize that life happens for you, not to you. When you’re able to find the lesson in every experience and be grateful for it, you’ll reduce the anger you feel toward the other person and instead appreciate what you gained from the relationship.

9. Talk to someone you trust

Holding your feelings inside only keeps you stuck and can eventually turn into anxiety or even develop into depression. Talk to a supportive friend, a family member or a therapist about how you feel and let them be there for you in your time of need. Talking to someone you trust can also help you recognize an unhealthy relationship and keep you from continuing to go back to that person. Once you commit to learning how to let go of someone, you may even discover other moments and situations you can afford to move on from as well.

10. Stay off social media

Learning how to let go of someone you love becomes much more difficult when you are constantly reminded of them. Though social media is a way to stay in touch with friends and family, it’s the opposite of what you need when you are going through a breakup. Staying off social media while you heal not only prevents you from seeing pictures or posts from your ex, but it will also keep you from seeing other seemingly happy couples, which can make you feel worse about your situation.

11. Take care of yourself

The process of letting go and moving on from a relationship can be stressful and lonely. This is not the time to beat yourself up or ignore your needs. When you practice self-care and take this time to fall in love with yourself, you’ll heal more completely and perhaps be healthier than you were before the relationship even started. Indulge in massages or other relaxing activities, engage in activities that make you happy and focus on finding fulfillment without being part of a couple.

12. Keep busy

Staying in bed all day and avoiding friends and loved ones makes letting go and moving on that much more difficult. Start your day with an empowering morning ritual that includes activities like priming, meditation, yoga or journaling, then get up and get involved. Join groups, volunteer for a new project at work or meet a friend for lunch or drinks. Staying busy will help take your mind off the breakup and allow your wounds to start healing.

13. Take the time to heal

Letting go of someone you love is a process. You won’t learn how to do it overnight, especially if you’ve spent your life holding on to things you loved – even if, deep down, you knew they weren’t right for you. Focusing on moving forward and creating a new story for yourself will help you deal with the inevitable pain that comes after a breakup. It will also help you eliminate blame, develop empowering beliefs to live by and move on with an open heart.

Even if you know how to let go of someone you love and follow all the steps, don’t expect to feel better immediately. Grieving is normal and you need to allow yourself the necessary amount of time to feel your emotions. Treat yourself with compassion and don’t allow anyone to guilt you into “just getting over it.” Though you don’t want to isolate yourself, take some extra time away from social events if you feel you need it and never agree to a date or set-up until you feel you’re really ready – those who don’t give themselves enough time often end up in rebound relationships that are harmful or that prolong the healing process even more.

Learn to let go and move on

Remember that refusing to let go will not bring someone you care about back. Continuing to hold on only hurts your emotional and physical state, keeping you from fully enjoying life. Embrace living in the moment and understand that uncertainty can be beautiful if you look at it from the right perspective.

The key to letting go of someone you love is facing what has happened, accepting that you can’t change it and moving on. Once you’re able to move on and appreciate the growth that came from the relationship, better opportunities will present themselves. You will have successfully learned how to let go of someone you love and can begin writing your new story.

Team Tony

Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.

featured collections

Join Our Newsletter!

By entering your information on the Tony Robbins website, you agree that we may collect and use your personal information for marketing, and for other purposes, as set forth in our Privacy Policy, which we encourage you to review.

Get a Free Results Coaching Session

Want to achieve real results NOW? Fill in the form below to schedule your FREE 30-minute session with your Tony Robbins Results Coaching Strategist.

This website uses cookies to personalize your experience and target advertising.. By continuing to use our website, you accept the terms of our updated policies

How to let go of the person you love and remove him from your thoughts

47 412

Man and woman Practices how to Know yourself

Photo: Shutterstock/Fotodom. ru

that leaves because he could not love you. The girl with whom you thought you were the same in everything, with whom you dreamed of building a family, admitted that she was marrying another. The feeling of rejection, the pain of breaking the connection ... The more significant the relationship was, the harder it is for them to end. How to let go of a loved one? This task seems inconceivable.

When the heart is filled with love, we are trusting and open. We like to be around, invest in relationships and do things together. We are interested in what our loved one is doing, we want to surprise and please him. We are always ready to support, warm, feed and protect. And now it turns out that our participation is not required. Our gifts and our presence are not encouraging.

Understanding that we are no longer needed by a loved one can be so unbearable that the psyche begins to defend itself

The psychology of grief expresses itself, as you know, in several stages: shock and denial, guilt, anger, bargaining, depression. .. Thus, someone lives in the expectation that the former partner will come to his senses and return. He looks for reasons to meet and call, clings to every message, giving a special meaning to what was said: “He said goodbye to me so warmly, this is no coincidence!”

Another goes on the warpath: incites conflict in social networks, sues endlessly over the payment of alimony or the division of children or property. This is also sometimes an attempt to keep a person, although it is rather peculiar. The third is looking for oblivion in doping of various kinds: from shopping and hard work to psychoactive substances.

So how can you let your husband go if he has fallen out of love? This process is likely to be difficult, because it is, in fact, about the experience of loss. We don't just break up with a particular person. With the departure of a partner, our picture of ourselves is collapsing (in which we are loved and important to another), the picture of the world (we are together, one whole, and we feel good), the horizon of the future is collapsing (we will have a home, family, grandchildren . ..).

Moreover, when we lose relationships, we lose our past, which included the happiness of first dates, confessions, and photographs. What is there - a whole life, which is now being questioned, as it seems unreal.

How do you let go of the person you love after a breakup?

1. Give your ex a choice

"How to let go of the girl you love?" This is much easier to do if you think about the fact that relationships without mutual love are built on lies. There is no question of trust, honesty, intimacy in them. A loved one is not a thing that can be forcibly kept in the space of your life. Do you really need such a relationship in which there is no life, no future?

Your partner is not you, he is different. Perhaps, having made such a decision, he makes a mistake and later regrets what happened. But this is his choice, and should be treated with respect. Not agreeing to let go of the guy or girl you love is denying the other person their right to autonomy, their right to be a separate person.

2. Stop defending yourself

Many want to avoid tears and worries, because it is hard, painful. It seems that it will be easier if the grief is “pushed” into a distant box and get down to business. But in this way we only “conserve” our feelings, do not allow them to “flow” and be replaced by others.

It is important to express one's grief, resentment, anger. When we mourn, we experience the loss of that valuable, good thing that was in our life. Give yourself sympathy and comfort like a good mother gives her child. Feel: you are not alone, because at least one person is always there for you - it is you. And you can take care of yourself.

3. Create a memory

Having fallen in love with your partner, you obviously saw in him something attractive, valuable, worthy of admiration. What exactly? Write about what attracted you, what was good and right in your relationship. Let it be a diary of memories or a few letters "on the table."

This exercise has two bonuses. Firstly, in this way you transform the tearing present into history, into past experience, which will gradually be perceived less and less painfully and in the end will remain in memory as something bright. And this is probably the healthiest way to remove intrusive memories from thoughts. Secondly, these letters will tell you ... about yourself. About what is important and dear to you. And this is something that cannot be lost, that will remain with you forever.

4. Redirect love

How to let go of the person you love? Perhaps try to replace it? In reality, this is impossible, but something else is important: love itself, in the words of the Apostle Paul, "never ceases." It can always be directed to someone or something that is waiting and needs you - friends, parents, children, a new partner, or yourself. Start building your life today and plans for the future - not in spite of, but because of this experience.

In time, you may feel light and free. Because you have your life and you have a past that no one can take away. And then, having accidentally found out one day that your ex-partner is happy in other respects, you suddenly feel: I am glad that he is doing well.

Three books on the topic:

Susan Elliott “The Gap. How to survive a breakup and build a new happy life”
Psychologies “I think about him”: how to survive a breakup and love another”
Steven Gross “The art of living. Real stories of parting with the past and happy changes”

Text: Maria Fedotova

New on the site

How a ban on emotions can harm a career: an example from the practice of a psychotherapist

“For 7 years now my husband has been living at my expense in my house and at the same time does not communicate with me”

From a London political scientist to a Russian chef: a frank story about finding yourself

Robert Plutchik’s wheel of emotions: how to understand yourself - use a simple tool

What a highly sensitive person needs: 10 conditions to improve your life

“My parents think that without a man I am nothing”

“My husband went to his homeland and got married there”

Psychologists figured out why women love to post selfies so much

How to let go of a loved one: advice from a psychologist

Psychologist's advice on how to let go of a loved one, not torturing yourself and stop thinking that parting is the end of life.

When we fall in love, we can think about a person all day long. This is especially true for women, because they are more emotional and sensitive. Women have a better developed imagination, which in this case does not play into their hands.

If you are suffering and cannot let go of your loved one, then most likely you are in a captivity of the imagination and need to “return to earth” and a more sober assessment of the situation.

How to let go of a man if it's hard for you?

The feeling of falling in love inspires and changes the surrounding reality, however, if you are in love, and the opposite sex does not yet (or already) have strong feelings, you need to urgently pull yourself together! And the first thing you need to do is to turn your head on without fail and analyze the situation and your real feelings.

Read on topic Unrequited love has come, what shall we do?

Everything starts from the head.

Falling in love and the desire to possess first of all settle in the mind.

It is in the brain that a certain biochemical reaction occurs that does not allow you to stop thinking about a person. Someone is able to control himself immediately, but someone needs time. But if you understand that it will be difficult to cope on your own, it is better to go to a psychologist and work with your specific situation. For now, at least read the universal advice of psychologists on how to let go of the person you love.

First, understand that this is just being in love that you can control. If you want to understand how to let go of a man, then first analyze what exactly attracts you to him. You will remember some external qualities and attributes: strong hands, big blue eyes, the presence of a car. According to them, you are used to drawing conclusions about what a person is like inside, labeling him and convincing yourself of strong uncontrolled feelings for him.

We associate many virtues with certain qualities. For example, the presence of a car indicates that a person has achieved a lot himself and knows how to support a family. However, in fact, it may turn out that it was because of the car that he got into debt. Strong hands are not at all proof of courage, and blue eyes are not a mandatory attribute of a romantic nature. If you do not own the facts, then you can fantasize a lot about a person. This is how “love” comes, which exhausts you with thoughts about a person.

Read related Are you not you when in a relationship? How to stop being attached to people

How to let go of a loved one?

True love gives freedom, because it understands that no one can be forced to experience reciprocal feelings. Therefore, if you feel true love for a person, you will wish him well, leave the choice and do not put pressure on him.

Make a bet with yourself. If this love is really true, let the person be happy. If you can't let go, maybe it's not really love, but a sense of ownership? From a psychological point of view, this is an excellent tool that allows you to gain primary control over yourself.

Feeling of ownership

desires to possess, own, control.

This feeling arises like greed when you realize that you already have enough, but you cannot stop taking, grabbing, accumulating something. In this case, very quickly there is a feeling of satiety, redundancy.

Remember the feeling when you were very hungry and a hot meal was brought to you. Instead of enjoying a little, you swallowed everything in 5 minutes and not only did not feel satisfaction, but also felt heaviness, pain in the stomach. It is the same with the desire to possess a person. Excessive interest and appetite are quickly replaced by apathy and indifference.

What happens if you get your loved one back now? Will you really be as happy and satisfied as you think now. Most likely, with his return, life will return to its previous course, with old problems, grievances and accusations.

You can learn to control your thoughts and emotions, but this takes time and desire.

Let go of the past and live without suffering

Even if you find the cause of the pain, in most cases you will not feel better. Tested on myself
And the past does not go away after this itself.
At any moment, a heard name, a song, a forgotten emotion, a long-standing feeling already carry a stream of memories. Forgetting about the past is also an illusion
You can constantly run away from it in a fantasy or gain courage and solve this problem

Talk to a psychologist

Belyaeva Lyubov
a good modern psychologist

It’s not a fact that it will work the first time. However, you can train your feelings and over time you will be able to cope with surging emotions, heaviness in the chest and a lump in the throat at the mention of a familiar name.

What is the right way to let go when there is little to be done so far?

Be sure to find something to do that distracts you from thinking about the person at least for a while. You need to understand that the desire to possess and thoughts about a particular person is your obsession. To start getting rid of it, do something interesting. Sports and creativity in the circle of people are great help in this. Don't stay alone for now. However, avoid "girlfriend hangouts" in their canonical sense, as they are potentially interested listeners, and you need to digress from this topic.

How to release a person from thoughts? Comparison method

Try the comparison method. Oh, it is good because it sobers and, like a cold shower, brings to life too amorous and constantly tormenting natures. Compare the object of adoration with a former, familiar, attractive person from your environment, an “ideal man”, a movie star. You will immediately notice that the chosen one has flaws. Now it is important to see them.

For example, he doesn't wash his car, even though your dad or brother takes it seriously and instilled in you a love of cleanliness. Or he frankly has a “lame” sense of humor. And do not wait for gifts from him. When you start comparing, you will realize that you have questions on many points. This is the first step towards eventually letting that person out of your thoughts and your life.

How to let go? Understand that you are already a self-sufficient person

Another advice from a psychologist - analyze your strengths and think about what the other person gives you that you cannot do yourself? Since you are a good hostess, and an interesting person, and a good highly paid specialist, is it worth tormenting yourself because of someone who, perhaps, does not deserve it at all? To begin with, you need a friend, a close spiritual person, and not just an object that you can blindly adore. Pay more attention to the development of your own qualities, skills, abilities, thus attracting the right partners. And not those for whom you are used to wasting time and nerves senselessly.

If you are interested in how to let go of a person, then the advice of a psychologist comes down to a few simple things: learn to value yourself and control your thoughts. So you will begin to avoid many problems, self-torture and obsessive thoughts.

Psychologists on how to let go of a person if he is constantly in front of your eyes

If you are constantly in the same environment, collide at work or other public places, after parting, letting go of such a person turns out to be much more difficult. In this case, you need to be very tough to pull yourself together.

And the first thing you have to do is to distinguish between what you really feel, what you used to feel when you see this person, and what you want to feel.

It is the last feelings that need to be translated into reality.

Turn on the "frost" in his direction. Soon you will notice that such an attitude gradually helps you to internally release the person from your thoughts, and you needed the advice of a psychologist. Now, either the opposite sex will begin to show a strong interest, or interest on your part will come to naught. What to do in case of his attempts to start communication is up to you. Whether you want to return or clearly decided to put an end to it.

Read more about The Addiction Trap in Relationships

It's easiest to control yourself right away, not when you're trapped in your thoughts. And remember that the one who is calm and reasonable, and not eager to possess and possess, has a chance to let go and forget another person. And the one who loves and appreciates, first of all, himself, and is not ready for anything for the sake of someone else.

“I often cry for no reason. What to do when tears appear at the most inopportune moment - at work, on the street or in public places?

First of all, do not be afraid of such a reaction of the body. If your emotionality manifested itself suddenly, even attracted the attention of others - this is not the worst thing in life. You can handle everything. If for some reason you want to cry for no reason, there is a reason. She must be sought. But first of all, you need to calm down. Try the following techniques if you experience sudden tears:

Conversation.

Moral support for a loved one is a great way to cope with feelings, calm down and take a fresh look at what is happening. Sometimes a conversation with a stranger saves. You are not afraid of the reaction of loved ones, you simply express what worries you. Against the background of emotional unloading, sudden tears also pass.
Self-monitoring.

If you often overtake causeless tears, you will have to learn how to control them. This is not without initial effort. Do not try to drive bad thoughts away from yourself - there is little sense from this. It is better to consciously give yourself the installation to calm down. Take a deep breath several times, follow your breath, focus on it, get up, drink water, try to switch your attention to any object around - examine and tell yourself about it: what color it is, why it is here, etc. Your task is to switch your thoughts to something that does not cause you an obvious emotional reaction. Try to achieve complete muscle relaxation and redirect the flow of thoughts, this will help you calm down.
Medical assistance.

Any pharmacological drug must be taken as prescribed by a doctor. But you can also purchase a complex of vitamins on your own - despite the popular belief that causeless tears need to be “treated”, it does not hurt to do a simple prevention of them. Vitamins and mild sedatives are good if you often feel anxious or upset. No need to shy away from medical support, your nervous system needs the same care as other body systems.
Help of a psychoanalyst.

No need to be afraid of psychotherapists. Do you feel that it has become difficult for you to cope with the surging emotions? Or maybe causeless tears began to “attack” you very often? Book an appointment with a specialist. Your doctor can help you determine the cause of your increased emotionality. In the course of a simple conversation, you yourself will open your irritant to him. It is easier for a psychoanalyst to understand what provokes your condition.
Learn more