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How to make people sad


How To Make Yourself Cry

One of the best ways to release anxiety, frustration, or stress is to cry. Everyone needs to let it out once in a while, and there is definitely nothing wrong with that. In fact, it can actually be good for you. But there are times when you have a box of tissues and are ready to go, but the tears just won’t come. At these times, you may want to know how to make yourself cry because allowing yourself to do that is so important.

Crying can help you move through the stress cycle and release stress, says Olga Karasina, PsyD, of Midwest Counseling. “Not having any release when we are feeling strong emotions is akin to trying to keep a beach ball underwater, it is exhausting and eventually will come up and in a much more unpredictable and undesirable manner,” she adds.

Crying can also be a self-soothing mechanism and help free us up from emotions that we have bottled up and that are now taking up space and likely impacting us without any release, notes Karasina.

So, why do some people have trouble crying? Sometimes medical issues like dry eye syndrome, where an insufficient amount of tears are produced, and Sjögren's syndrome, an autoimmune disease characterized by dry eyes and mouth, can make it difficult for you to shed tears. Certain medications, especially antidepressants, antihistamines, birth control, and blood pressure drugs, can do the same. It may seem counterintuitive, but people with depression may not have the energy to cry even if they get the urge. You may also not be able to because you are avoiding it—you may want to escape from uncomfortable feelings and thoughts by suppressing them.

If you really need the release but can't seem to make it happen, here are a few tips from experts to get the waterworks going.

1.

Avoid Blinking

One of the easiest ways to make yourself cry is by not blinking. “Your body’s natural instinct is to blink to produce moisture and prevent any debris and dirt from lingering and risk causing an infection,” says Lena Suarez-Angelino, LCSW, of Choosing Therapy. “When you go against nature, your body will try to do everything in its power to recalibrate.”

Try staring at a blank wall for 20 to 30 seconds, or as long as you can stand. Your eyes will most likely start to burn and a tear or two will fall. If you do that *and* think about something that made you feel hurt or sad, then put on a sad song, you can most likely start crying.

2. Engage In Breathwork

“Breathwork elicits your parasympathetic nervous system and helps to bring you back into balance emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually,” notes Suarez-Angelino. “Many people report they have cried, along with other healing experiences, as a result of breathwork sessions.”

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If you’re new to this practice, try the techniques on a weekly basis and allow space for yourself to implement and process the healing that may come up during these sessions.

3. Go For A Walk

Walking on a daily basis is beneficial for various reasons, but heading outside, especially without any distractions, allows you to go inward and reflect. “Reflect on things you feel you have been ignoring or sweeping under the rug. Allow them to surface and tune into your feelings and thoughts about these situations,” says Suarez-Angelino.

4. Listen To Music

Music is a great way for people to tap into their emotions. Karasina recommends putting on a song of your choice and thinking about a time that brings up emotions for you personally.

She also recommends pairing this with another activity like spending time in nature or doing yoga in your favorite outdoor space where you feel comfortable and safe. This combo may help you connect with yourself and offer you the opportunity to fully embrace your feelings in the moment.

5.

Move Your Body

Working out and getting your body moving can also help shuffle any stagnant energy throughout your body to facilitate an emotional release.

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“Certain poses in yoga are known to help heal trauma and process emotions, which often results in tears,” says Suarez-Angelino. “Sometimes a vigorous workout that involves hitting or punching, such as kickboxing or regular boxing can help get out some of the frustration you are experiencing, which helps break down the barrier and allow tears to flow.”

Depending on how often you exercise and the amount of pent-up emotions and tension you have, you may find yourself crying rather often initially and then less over time.

6. Read A Sad Story

Similar to listening to music, reading something sad can help bring on the tears. “Some book titles are notorious for having people repeatedly cry time and time again, regardless of the number of times they have read them,” says Suarez-Angelino.

If you think you need some practice with this method, she recommends trying it once a month, or if you feel like you need to cry more often, once a week.

7. Take A Shower

Some people need privacy to have a good cry or don’t like the feeling of tears rolling down their cheeks. If that is the case for you, try taking a shower. “Try taking a shower and use your senses to muffle the outward sounds of crying while also being able to blend the water on your face with the tears streaming down,” says Suarez-Angelino.

However, she cautions not to take too much time trying to turn on the waterworks. “You could try this every time you are in the shower for no longer than about five minutes, so as to not waste any water,” she says.

8.

Talk To Someone

If you are having a hard time getting in touch with your emotions, Karasina recommends opening up and sharing your feelings with someone you trust like a family member, good friend, or partner. “A therapy session or good vulnerable talk with someone you trust can sometimes bring about feelings and allow us to have a good cry,” she adds.

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She even suggests looking into group therapy or an online support group, which may offer another space to feel safe and supported to share and have the experience of crying surrounded by people who can hold space for and support this expression.

9. Write It Out

If you are upset and want to cry it out, Suarez-Angelino recommends taking out some paper and pen and writing a letter to the person or situation that is upsetting you. “Sometimes being able to write down your feelings and thoughts helps your emotions rise to the surface and make themselves known,” she says.

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It is not intended to be mailed or shown to whoever is involved in the situation, but rather to allow for expression without judgment. “When you are graced with this space, the tears are more likely to come,” says Suarez-Angelino.

10. Yawn

Another simple way to help get the tears flowing is by yawning. “Try yawning a few times in a row to wake up the tear ducts. This may be helpful to get your body to cry,” says Suarez-Angelino, but note that this method may not work for everyone.

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The good news is yawning does not cause any harm if you do it too much. However, forced yawning can quickly turn into actual yawning and you may start to feel fatigued or tired.

When trying to make yourself cry, the most important thing is to not feel any pressure to cry. “Let go of the expectation that you need to have tears in order to feel. The moment you let go of the pressure of forcing yourself to have tears, you are able to take a breath and start to process your emotions,” says Suarez-Angelino.

    Ashley Martens


    Ashley Martens is a Wellness Writer based in Chicago, Illinois. With a digital marketing background and her knowledge of general nutrition and a lifelong passion for all things health and wellness, Ashley covers topics that can help people live happier and healthier lives. 

    It's okay to feel sad

    Everyone feels sad sometimes, just like everyone can feel joyful, angry, proud and plenty of other emotions. In other words, everyone has feelings, and those feelings are always changing.

    Sometimes we feel happy (such as when we’re having fun) and sometimes we feel sad (such as when we lose a loved one). Whatever the feelings, it is real and part of living.

    A negative emotion may even help you. Our world focuses on happiness and treats unhappiness as an unnecessary or useless feeling. But sadness can slow you down, and make you really think about your life, your feelings and the people around you. It can help you keep sight of your relationships and dreams.

    In other words, being sad doesn’t mean you are not coping with a situation. Rather, it helps you come to terms with that situation and move on. It is an important emotion that can help you adapt, accept, focus, persevere and grow.

    And there’s more good news: you can learn to manage your sadness.

    About sadness

    We use different words to talk about sadness: agony, anguish, broken heart, hurt, sorrow, dejection, dismay, homesickness, distress, unhappiness and more. All these emotions can occur in response to a negative or unexpected situations, or life changes.

    Sadness often occurs at the same time as other feelings, such as anger, stress, guilt, grief, anxiety or hopelessness. Sometimes, the other feeling may be so strong that you don’t realise you are sad.
    So what does sadness feel like? It may change how you feel physically. Perhaps you have a stomach ache or a headache, or you can’t sleep.

    Sadness may also change how you feel emotionally. Perhaps you are teary, grumpy, bored or frustrated, or just keen to avoid other people.

    But recognising your sadness, and understanding that it is okay to feel sad, is a sign of a stable sense of wellbeing.

    You may feel sad for many reasons

    Life is full of situations that may make people feel sad:

    • having trouble at home (for example, family fights or domestic violence)
    • having trouble at school or work, or feeling pressure there
    • moving home
    • losing a loved one or a friend
    • being ill, or caring for someone who is ill
    • experiencing chemical changes in your body (from puberty, drugs or medicines)
    • experiencing changes in your thoughts (for example, developing an unhelpful thinking style such as being self-critical, or learning new information about subjects such as poverty or terrorism).

    When you face these situations, you may have unhelpful or negative thoughts about your sadness. And those thoughts can make you feel worse.

    So, try a different approach: try to acknowledge your sadness and the situation that prompted it. And give yourself time to deal with any problems and feel better. You also may want to call on resources that could help you (such as friends and family, a psychologist, or another health professional).

    Sadness will ease

    Feeling better can involve taking one step or many. It may happen quickly or over a long time. Just remember that emotions ebb and flow, and you can move through sadness to a more positive emotion.

    First, acknowledge that you are feeling sad. Sometimes sadness may feel manageable, and acknowledging how you feel is enough – after all, it will pass over time. Sometimes you might want to actively do something to help manage your sadness. You may want to try some of these tips:

    • Have confidence that things will improve. You need to trust that your sad feelings will lessen with time and effort.
    • Be honest with yourself and the people around you. Talk to someone whom you trust.
    • Do things that you enjoy and that are good for you. Find ways to make your life more pleasurable: listen to music, go for a walk, read a book, call a friend.
    • Is there something you can do about the cause of your sadness?
    • Tackle one problem at a time. It doesn’t matter if you start with the biggest or smallest problem, just make a list and begin. If things are out of your control, talk to someone you trust about your options, or try to work on accepting the situation as it is.
    • Think about whether your sleep and eating patterns are good for you.
    • Help someone else. Just improving someone else’s life, or being part of a community, can lift your spirits.
    • Find a creative way to express your sadness. Writing your thoughts in a diary, for example, may help you find a new perspective.
    • Seek help from a professional (a doctor, psychologist, or other health professional). You may need support, advice or a referral to a specialist.
    • If a prescribed medication makes you feel down, let your doctor know. And talk to your doctor before taking any non-prescribed medications or complementary or alternative medicines.
    • Keep yourself safe. If you feel at risk of hurting yourself, let someone know immediately.

    Supporting someone else who is feeling sad

    Maybe you know someone else who is feeling sad. Being supportive isn't always easy, because it’s sometimes hard to know why someone is sad and how they are coping.

    Here are four basic tips:

    1. Ask the person if they are okay. Just checking shows you care.
    2. Listen without judging and try to understand why they are feeling that way.
    3. If the person is reluctant to ask someone for help (such as a school counsellor, a workplace HR representative or a doctor), you may be able to help by offering to go with them, finding the contact information for them to make the call, or even by finding them some helpful information from a trusted and credible source.
    4. Reassure them that sadness is a valid emotion, and can be overcome.

    For more ideas about how to support someone who is sad, read the tips from beyondblue.

    Sadness is different from depression

    Feeling sad does not mean you have depression. But if your mood starts to interrupt your life and how you function, then you may have become depressed.

    Key differences between sadness and clinical depression relate to the cause for the change in mood and how long you have felt that way, and other symptoms that might be present.

    If your mood relates to a recent event, such as a relationship breakup, then you may well be feeling sadness. But if that breakup was months ago, or you can see no clear reason for your change in mood, you could be depressed, and it might be helpful for you to chat to your GP about what’s causing you to feel the way you do.

    Let’s look the differences between sadness and depression.

    Sadness:

    • is part of life’s regular ups and downs, but it is not constant
    • is a common reaction to an upset or setback, and is usually not a cause for worry
    • is interrupted by times of laughter and contentment
    • is an emotion that can involve negative thoughts but does not usually involve suicidal thoughts.

    Depression:

    • is a longer term feeling (more than two weeks) of severe sadness or or loss of interest or pleasure in activities, and other symptoms. These symptoms may include sleeplessness, low energy, concentration problems, pessimism, loss of hope, suicidal thoughts and appetite issues.
    • has complicated causes, which may involve genetic or biological components. Maybe the person has experienced a traumatic event or psychological stress
    • can lead to significant weight change or sleep disruption.
    • is mentally painful and can be life altering.
    • beyondblue has a checklist for working out whether you might have depression.

    Remember…

    • Everyone feels sad sometimes.
    • You can learn to manage your sadness.
    • Feeling sad does not mean you are experiencing depression
    • If you have been feeling persistently sad for more than two weeks or you have lost interest in most of your usual activities, you might be depressed. In this case, it is important to seek help.

    Where to get help

    • Your GP (Doctor)
    • Connect with SANE’s free counselling service online or on 1800 187 263, between 10am-10pm Monday to Friday AEST/AEDT.
    • SANE Forums are full of people who want to talk to you and offer support.
    • headspace Tel. 1800 650 890
    • Lifeline Tel. 13 11 14
    • Kids Help Line Tel. 1800 551 800
    • beyondblue Tel. 1300 22 4636
    • beyond blue’s chat service and Forums
    • SuicideLine Tel. 1300 651 251
    • Australian Psychological Society – Find a psychologist service Tel. 1800 333 497 (outside Melbourne) or (03) 8662 3300 (in Melbourne)
    • mind Tel. 1300 AT MIND (286 463)

    What to do when a loved one is sad If a person who is dear to you finds himself in a difficult life situation, then

    to help a friend is a normal desire for each of us. And if at the same time you yourself have not gone through this, then you may find yourself in indecision: what exactly can I do? And when you have a good idea of ​​what your friend is facing, you also understand that it will be extremely difficult for him to overcome this challenge. difficult. nine0003

    When someone is faced with the loss of a loved one , or with the illness of loved ones, it can be very difficult to find the right words. And even simpler situations like problems in relationships or at work will also make you wonder how cheer up a friend. There is no universal recipe for helping someone who is facing grief or disappointment. But you can develop a certain algorithm of actions that will help in difficult times. minute.

    Good intentions can make things worse

    Not understanding how to act in a particular situation, we often talk fundamentally wrong with those who need our help. We can say something wrong or involuntarily seem indifferent to their feelings. In any case, an incorrect answer will only make things worse, and is your friend will be even more sad than before talking with you.

    Most of us unknowingly hurt others in the same scenario. It must be remembered that even the best intentions can cause harm. Usually when we don't know what to say, we grab at everything that comes to mind - if only to slightly reduce the discomfort of a loved one. We all did this, and each of us had someone with good intentions, from talking with whom we became even more sad. Let's take a look at common mistakes to avoid when trying to comfort a friend. nine0003

    Don't try to change the subject

    When it comes to a problem, you can try to change the subject in the hope that it will help. Many people think that in this way their interlocutor will switch his attention from the negative to something pleasant. Yes to you too it will certainly be easier for you to talk about something abstract. But this approach doesn't work. Your friend is now the last thing in the world interested in movies at the box office or a new restaurant that opened on corner.

    Trying to change the topic of conversation will not bring anything good. Now your friend needs to speak out, he needs to be heard. He voices his problem, and from this his pain may be a little decrease. And if you change the subject, you deprive your interlocutor of such a chance. As a result, he will feel rejected. nine0003

    Positive thinking causes negative reactions

    When a friend comes to you to share a problem, there is a great temptation to tell him something like "Everything will be fine" or "You're doing great, you're doing great." You may well believe that speak, and your intentions at the same time will be the best ... But often this is not at all what a person needs.

    Your friend probably just needs to let their emotions out. He needs to speak out in order to be able to move on. And your attempts to cheer up may, on the contrary, seem dismissive. Let him say whatever he wants. Realizing how bad things are going with him can push your friend to find rational ways out of this situation. nine0003

    Trying to fix the problem will only make matters worse

    It is very hard to watch a loved one suffer. Therefore, many seek to suggest, find the root of the problem in order to solve it as soon as possible.

    “If I were you, I would…” or “You should…” - advice is unlikely to really help fix something. As in the case of changing the topic of conversation and encouraging, such a strategy only deprives your friend's opportunity to be accepted and heard makes it difficult to understand what he really needs now. It turns out that the more care you show, the worse you make your interlocutor. nine0003

    Don't give advice on solving a problem unless you're asked to. This will not help a person feel better in a difficult moment, but it can become exhausting for you. If a friend asks you have advice, so he invites you to contribute and help. Otherwise, don't tell others what to do.

    Listen to understand and acknowledge your friend's feelings

    First of all, a person who finds himself in a difficult situation wants to be heard. Give him the opportunity to listen carefully and patiently. Do not evaluate what has been said, do not think over the next phrase - just give him space and the opportunity to speak out. But do not be silent - listen actively. For this: nine0003

    1. Cheer up friend with physical contact . If you sit silently, your interlocutor will not feel that you hear him. Stay involved in the conversation, use the language gestures to show that you are listening. Nodding your head and making eye contact will help him feel safe and talk.

    2. Say but don't try to help fix the situation. No need to just silently nod throughout the conversation. But when you speak, keep the focus on your friend. You can say something like "I understand you" or "I can't imagine exactly how you feel, but I know you're in pain." So you acknowledge the feelings of the other, make it clear that he has the right to test them. This is exactly what he needs now. nine0003

    3. Show that you are trying to understand him . Don't just repeat what your friend tells you without processing the information. This is how you kick the problem back to the speaker. Voice the situation in your own words - this will let the interlocutor understand that you listened carefully and comprehended what was said. For example, it's better to say "It's wrong to load you with new responsibilities because you already work so much" than just "You work too hard."

    All your friend needs right now is to be listened to

    Yes, finding the right words can be very difficult. But if a person comes to you with his problem, then he trusts you. Treat his trust as a great gift to you. Try to give him time to let me speak.

    And remember to actively listen. Recognize the right of the other to feel what he is now feeling. Avoid advice, attempts to change the topic of conversation, banal encouraging phrases. Quite it is possible that all that your interlocutor needs now to overcome a difficult period is an opportunity to speak out. Listen carefully, truly, and you will be surprised how such an approach is effective. When trouble happens to you, your friends will also come to the rescue. nine0003

    Translation from English: Lyudmila KRYLOVA

    Source: http://www.lifehack.org/635617/what-to-do-when-your-friend-tells-you-that-theyre-sad?ref = Category_page_Latest_Section_post_635617

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    It is recommended to refresh the track “Cheap Dramas” by VIA “Valentin Strykalo” before reading

    To achieve the desired effect, there are many different techniques and methods, but from the point of view of medicine, everything is always the same: the lacrimal glands produce a fluid that washes the eyeball and through small channels enters the nasal cavity. And now - tears appear in the eyes and flow beautifully on the cheeks.

    This reaction is due to two reasons - the mechanism of reflex defense or psycho-emotional. Simply put, you either react emotionally to something (the process comes from within), or you react physiologically (to an external stimulus). It is characteristic that in both cases, with the help of tears, our body defends itself. So, we look touching and soulful, we want to sympathize. nine0003

    This reaction is due to two reasons - the mechanism of reflex defense or psycho-emotional. Simply put, you either react emotionally to something (the process comes from within), or you react physiologically (to an external stimulus). It is characteristic that in both cases, with the help of tears, our body defends itself. So, we look touching and soulful, we want to sympathize.

    Tanya Weinstein, Artistic Director of Part Academy

    - Just trying to cry - from my point of view, the wrong tactic. Because, as a rule, those who have difficulty crying have problems with the entire emotional spectrum. Usually such people have difficulty expressing anger or joy, rarely really feel happiness, and so on. So my personal practice shows, I'm not a psychologist, I'm just an acting teacher. I want to say that if you, for example, went in for sports and tried to pump up only one muscle - for example, biceps or buttocks - it would be wrong and meaningless. It's the same here: you're only trying to pump the sob skill, and I suggest that you work on the entire emotional spectrum. nine0003

    Since being able to shed a tear at the right moment is such a useful skill and cool thing, the question arises: how to learn to cry quickly and for no reason?

    Vladimir Kuznetsov, actor, director, acting teacher:

    There is a stereotype that if you cannot cry instantly, then you are a bad actor. This, of course, is complete nonsense, and I once conducted an experiment with a course at Part Academy: I gave the task - to cry for everyone. Of course, not everyone succeeded right away, but the main thing is that the students realized that each actor with experience has his own way to cause tears. This is a very individual thing, despite the fact that traditionally artists are taught according to Stanislavsky, through psychology - to immerse themselves in the proposed circumstances. Or push back on memories. I can give a life hack that I use myself: as much as you can, immerse yourself in the circumstances, when they end, do it through memories, and if they run out, use additional means, influence the physiology. But the latter is more suitable for cinema - there you can do 18 takes. The theater rarely rolls. nine0003

    In addition, there is a special tool that is sold in stores with theatrical equipment, on professional websites for make-up artists - this is a tear pencil. It is made on the basis of menthol, and helps to cry in 1 minute. Actress Irina Gorbacheva filmed a sketch about this:

    Globally, all existing ways to make yourself cry quickly and strongly are divided into three large sections: emotional, technical and physiological.

    1. We evoke emotions

    Not everyone needs special devices to cry - sometimes it is enough to remember an old grievance or a tragic event in life, the plot of a touching film or book.

    By the way, you should know that if you decide to evoke tears with the help of memorable incidents, then both sad and very bright, joyful moments can come in handy. You need to focus on the memory and literally “live” it again: second by second, restore in your mind the smallest details of an event that means a lot to you - if you do everything right, do not just “scroll” in your head, but really feel this memory, then you will soon goosebumps will run through the body, and a lump will roll up to the throat. And there will be tears. nine0003

    Tanya Vainshtein:

    Stanislavsky proposed the “vision film” method: you see the event like a movie — how it started, what the weather was like, who was around you, what were the circumstances, what did you think about, what did you feel that day how it all developed. It is in this detail, in the gradual entry into the situation, that the key to success is that you find yourself emotionally involved.

    It is important to understand here that our goal is not to become depressed from tragic memories or plots, but only to cause tears. nine0003

    Next to this method there is a similar method - self-hypnosis. This is the very belief in the proposed circumstances: crying not because of the untimely death of your beloved hamster (actually a serious reason, no depreciation), but for the same reason that your hero cries. This requires a lot of training, but it's worth it - naturalness and organic sobs are provided.

    The second way I suggest trying is one of the techniques from the Ivana Chubbuck school (a theater teacher from the USA, author of the 12-step technique for improving acting skills) - called "super goal". You need to understand why you want to cry at all, and your over-goal should be related to the viewer or partner. Choose a specific goal and determine: do you want him to sympathize with you? To support you, help you? To make him feel ashamed? Come up with (or learn) a text, and as you say it to this person, you will gradually reach the point of involvement - and you will have a chance to cry. nine0003

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    Then help tools come into play.

    The most common of them (and you, most likely, it has already occurred to you) is onions. It contains the substance lachrymator (from Latin lacrima - tear), which is released when we violate the integrity of the vegetable. As a result, a small dose of sulfuric acid is released, which burns the eyes - and they, in turn, begin to defend themselves with the help of tears. nine0003

    This is a fail-safe method, but it's actually not very convenient to carry a bow. Even if you manage to hide it in a sleeve or pocket, with close contact people will be able to smell it. So be vigilant.

    Another food method is citrus fruits (orange or lemon). This method is more dangerous because the juice is dripped directly into the eyes. Be sure to dilute in equal proportions with water! Contraindicated in case of allergy to citrus fruits.

    Actors often use menthol (the same pencil or ointment "Asterisk") and ammonia: these substances are enough just to sniff them to make tears flow from their eyes. Never get menthol or alcohol in your eyes! For the effect, it will be enough to gently rub the lower eyelid or bridge of the nose. nine0003

    Another effective way is to use special anesthetic eye drops. Sodium sulfacyl or albucid is safe and helps to provoke tearing if you drip 8-10 drops.

    Top 3 common acting hacks:

    • stare at one point for a long time without blinking: the eyes will dry out and fill with tears themselves
    • look into the wind without blinking grains of sand and small debris)
    • Zevota: a couple of minutes of compression of the lords-and you cry

    3.

    Learn more