How to help your depressed girlfriend


SAMHSA’s National Helpline | SAMHSA

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  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.

    Also visit the online treatment locator.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.

The service is open 24/7, 365 days a year.

English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.

In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.

The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.

The service is confidential. We will not ask you for any personal information. We may ask for your zip code or other pertinent geographic information in order to track calls being routed to other offices or to accurately identify the local resources appropriate to your needs.

No, we do not provide counseling. Trained information specialists answer calls, transfer callers to state services or other appropriate intake centers in their states, and connect them with local assistance and support.

  • Suggested Resources

    What Is Substance Abuse Treatment? A Booklet for Families
    Created for family members of people with alcohol abuse or drug abuse problems. Answers questions about substance abuse, its symptoms, different types of treatment, and recovery. Addresses concerns of children of parents with substance use/abuse problems.

    It's Not Your Fault (NACoA) (PDF | 12 KB)
    Assures teens with parents who abuse alcohol or drugs that, "It's not your fault!" and that they are not alone. Encourages teens to seek emotional support from other adults, school counselors, and youth support groups such as Alateen, and provides a resource list.

    After an Attempt: A Guide for Taking Care of Your Family Member After Treatment in the Emergency Department
    Aids family members in coping with the aftermath of a relative's suicide attempt. Describes the emergency department treatment process, lists questions to ask about follow-up treatment, and describes how to reduce risk and ensure safety at home.

    Family Therapy Can Help: For People in Recovery From Mental Illness or Addiction
    Explores the role of family therapy in recovery from mental illness or substance abuse. Explains how family therapy sessions are run and who conducts them, describes a typical session, and provides information on its effectiveness in recovery.

    For additional resources, please visit the SAMHSA Store.

Last Updated: 08/30/2022

Alcohol, Tobacco, and Other Drugs

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Misusing alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs can have both immediate and long-term health effects.

The misuse and abuse of alcohol, tobacco, illicit drugs, and prescription medications affect the health and well-being of millions of Americans. NSDUH estimates allow researchers, clinicians, policymakers, and the general public to better understand and improve the nation’s behavioral health. These reports and detailed tables present estimates from the 2021 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH).

Alcohol

Data:

  • Among the 133.1 million current alcohol users aged 12 or older in 2021, 60.0 million people (or 45.1%) were past month binge drinkers. The percentage of people who were past month binge drinkers was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (29.2% or 9.8 million people), followed by adults aged 26 or older (22.4% or 49.3 million people), then by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (3.8% or 995,000 people). (2021 NSDUH)
  • Among people aged 12 to 20 in 2021, 15.1% (or 5.9 million people) were past month alcohol users. Estimates of binge alcohol use and heavy alcohol use in the past month among underage people were 8.3% (or 3.2 million people) and 1.6% (or 613,000 people), respectively. (2021 NSDUH)
  • In 2020, 50.0% of people aged 12 or older (or 138.5 million people) used alcohol in the past month (i.e., current alcohol users) (2020 NSDUH)
  • Among the 138.5 million people who were current alcohol users, 61.6 million people (or 44.4%) were classified as binge drinkers and 17.7 million people (28.8% of current binge drinkers and 12.8% of current alcohol users) were classified as heavy drinkers (2020 NSDUH)
  • The percentage of people who were past month binge alcohol users was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (31. 4%) compared with 22.9% of adults aged 26 or older and 4.1% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (2020 NSDUH)
  • Excessive alcohol use can increase a person’s risk of stroke, liver cirrhosis, alcoholic hepatitis, cancer, and other serious health conditions
  • Excessive alcohol use can also lead to risk-taking behavior, including driving while impaired. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that 29 people in the United States die in motor vehicle crashes that involve an alcohol-impaired driver daily

Programs/Initiatives:

  • STOP Underage Drinking interagency portal - Interagency Coordinating Committee on the Prevention of Underage Drinking
  • Interagency Coordinating Committee on the Prevention of Underage Drinking
  • Talk. They Hear You.
  • Underage Drinking: Myths vs. Facts
  • Talking with your College-Bound Young Adult About Alcohol

Relevant links:

  • National Association of State Alcohol and Drug Abuse Directors
  • Department of Transportation Office of Drug & Alcohol Policy & Compliance
  • Alcohol Policy Information Systems Database (APIS)
  • National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism

Tobacco

Data:

  • In 2020, 20. 7% of people aged 12 or older (or 57.3 million people) used nicotine products (i.e., used tobacco products or vaped nicotine) in the past month (2020 NSDUH)
  • Among past month users of nicotine products, nearly two thirds of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (63.1%) vaped nicotine but did not use tobacco products. In contrast, 88.9% of past month nicotine product users aged 26 or older used only tobacco products (2020 NSDUH)
  • Tobacco use is the leading cause of preventable death, often leading to lung cancer, respiratory disorders, heart disease, stroke, and other serious illnesses. The CDC reports that cigarette smoking causes more than 480,000 deaths each year in the United States
  • The CDC’s Office on Smoking and Health reports that more than 16 million Americans are living with a disease caused by smoking cigarettes

Electronic cigarette (e-cigarette) use data:

  • In 2021, 13.2 million people aged 12 or older (or 4.7%) used an e-cigarette or other vaping device to vape nicotine in the past month. The percentage of people who vaped nicotine was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (14.1% or 4.7 million people), followed by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (5.2% or 1.4 million people), then by adults aged 26 or older (3.2% or 7.1 million people).
  • Among people aged 12 to 20 in 2021, 11.0% (or 4.3 million people) used tobacco products or used an e-cigarette or other vaping device to vape nicotine in the past month. Among people in this age group, 8.1% (or 3.1 million people) vaped nicotine, 5.4% (or 2.1 million people) used tobacco products, and 3.4% (or 1.3 million people) smoked cigarettes in the past month. (2021 NSDUH)
  • Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2020 National Youth Tobacco Survey. Among both middle and high school students, current use of e-cigarettes declined from 2019 to 2020, reversing previous trends and returning current e-cigarette use to levels similar to those observed in 2018
  • E-cigarettes are not safe for youth, young adults, or pregnant women, especially because they contain nicotine and other chemicals

Resources:

  • Tips for Teens: Tobacco
  • Tips for Teens: E-cigarettes
  • Implementing Tobacco Cessation Programs in Substance Use Disorder Treatment Settings
  • Synar Amendment Program

Links:

  • Truth Initiative
  • FDA Center for Tobacco Products
  • CDC Office on Smoking and Health
  • National Institute on Drug Abuse: Tobacco, Nicotine, and E-Cigarettes
  • National Institute on Drug Abuse: E-Cigarettes

Opioids

Data:

  • Among people aged 12 or older in 2021, 3. 3% (or 9.2 million people) misused opioids (heroin or prescription pain relievers) in the past year. Among the 9.2 million people who misused opioids in the past year, 8.7 million people misused prescription pain relievers compared with 1.1 million people who used heroin. These numbers include 574,000 people who both misused prescription pain relievers and used heroin in the past year. (2021 NSDUH)
  • Among people aged 12 or older in 2020, 3.4% (or 9.5 million people) misused opioids in the past year. Among the 9.5 million people who misused opioids in the past year, 9.3 million people misused prescription pain relievers and 902,000 people used heroin (2020 NSDUH)
  • According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Understanding the Epidemic, an average of 128 Americans die every day from an opioid overdose

Resources:

  • Medication-Assisted Treatment
  • Opioid Overdose Prevention Toolkit
  • TIP 63: Medications for Opioid Use Disorder
  • Use of Medication-Assisted Treatment for Opioid Use Disorder in Criminal Justice Settings
  • Opioid Use Disorder and Pregnancy
  • Clinical Guidance for Treating Pregnant and Parenting Women With Opioid Use Disorder and Their Infants
  • The Facts about Buprenorphine for Treatment of Opioid Addiction
  • Pregnancy Planning for Women Being Treated for Opioid Use Disorder
  • Tips for Teens: Opioids
  • Rural Opioid Technical Assistance Grants
  • Tribal Opioid Response Grants
  • Provider’s Clinical Support System - Medication Assisted Treatment Grant Program

Links:

  • National Institute on Drug Abuse: Opioids
  • National Institute on Drug Abuse: Heroin
  • HHS Prevent Opioid Abuse
  • Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of America
  • Addiction Technology Transfer Center (ATTC) Network
  • Prevention Technology Transfer Center (PTTC) Network

Marijuana

Data:

  • In 2021, marijuana was the most commonly used illicit drug, with 18. 7% of people aged 12 or older (or 52.5 million people) using it in the past year. The percentage was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (35.4% or 11.8 million people), followed by adults aged 26 or older (17.2% or 37.9 million people), then by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (10.5% or 2.7 million people).
  • The percentage of people who used marijuana in the past year was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (34.5%) compared with 16.3% of adults aged 26 or older and 10.1% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (2020 NSDUH)
  • Marijuana can impair judgment and distort perception in the short term and can lead to memory impairment in the long term
  • Marijuana can have significant health effects on youth and pregnant women.

Resources:

  • Know the Risks of Marijuana
  • Marijuana and Pregnancy
  • Tips for Teens: Marijuana

Relevant links:

  • National Institute on Drug Abuse: Marijuana
  • Addiction Technology Transfer Centers on Marijuana
  • CDC Marijuana and Public Health

Emerging Trends in Substance Misuse:

  • Methamphetamine—In 2019, NSDUH data show that approximately 2 million people used methamphetamine in the past year. Approximately 1 million people had a methamphetamine use disorder, which was higher than the percentage in 2016, but similar to the percentages in 2015 and 2018. The National Institute on Drug Abuse Data shows that overdose death rates involving methamphetamine have quadrupled from 2011 to 2017. Frequent meth use is associated with mood disturbances, hallucinations, and paranoia.
  • Cocaine—In 2019, NSDUH data show an estimated 5.5 million people aged 12 or older were past users of cocaine, including about 778,000 users of crack. The CDC reports that overdose deaths involving have increased by one-third from 2016 to 2017. In the short term, cocaine use can result in increased blood pressure, restlessness, and irritability. In the long term, severe medical complications of cocaine use include heart attacks, seizures, and abdominal pain.
  • Kratom—In 2019, NSDUH data show that about 825,000 people had used Kratom in the past month. Kratom is a tropical plant that grows naturally in Southeast Asia with leaves that can have psychotropic effects by affecting opioid brain receptors. It is currently unregulated and has risk of abuse and dependence. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that health effects of Kratom can include nausea, itching, seizures, and hallucinations.

Resources:

  • Tips for Teens: Methamphetamine
  • Tips for Teens: Cocaine
  • National Institute on Drug Abuse

More SAMHSA publications on substance use prevention and treatment.

Last Updated: 01/05/2023

Depressed partner support

11/22/2019

Depression is one of the most common mental disorders, affecting more than 350 million people of all age groups.

Every year about 150 million people in the world lose their ability to work due to depression

The support of family and friends is essential in the treatment of mental disorders. However, depression can negatively impact relationships and leave loved ones feeling helpless, frustrated, or afraid.

There are ways people can support a partner with depression on their journey to recovery.

Questions to ask about symptoms

To understand the severity of a person's depression, it is helpful to study how these symptoms affect their life.

Asking about symptoms also shows a person that his partner is interested in his feelings and experiences.

Useful questions to ask include:

  • Can you help me understand how you feel?
  • What activities do you find enjoyable right now?
  • Do you enjoy spending time with other people?
  • What's wrong with your energy?
  • Do you sleep more or less than usual?
  • Do you eat more or less than usual?
  • Can you focus on things right now?
  • Do you have thoughts of death or suicide?

Questions to avoid

Avoid asking questions that seem judgmental or that place blame on the person with depression. They may already be blaming themselves for their symptoms and need support rather than further judgment.

It is also important not to oversimplify depression, which is a serious illness.

Examples of questions to avoid include:

  • Why can't you just cheer up?
  • Don't I make you happy?
  • When will you feel better?
  • Don't you understand that it's all in your head?
  • Why do you attach such importance to this?
  • Do you know that others are in a much worse situation than you?

Partner support

1. Learn about depression

Learning about depression can make it easier to support those with depression. Learning about symptoms often helps people recognize symptoms in their loved ones.

Symptoms can range from mild to severe and may change over time. However, symptoms must last at least 2 weeks before a doctor can diagnose depression.

Symptoms of depression may include:

  • feelings of sadness, worthlessness or guilt
  • loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities
  • changes in appetite or weight
  • changes in sleep habits
  • fatigue and loss of energy
  • difficulty concentrating or making decisions
  • thoughts of death or suicide

2. Understand and acknowledge your partner's feelings

It is important to listen to a person with depression and express empathy, which is the ability to understand and share other people's feelings. One way to show empathy is to mirror what the person is saying.

For example, if he says, "I just feel like things will never get better," their partner might reflect this by saying, "that sounds like you're not looking forward to the future."

Constant attempts to cheer up a person are useless, as this devalues ​​his condition and feelings. Phrases like “tomorrow will be better” or “try to cheer up” do not take into account the nature of the disease.

3. Ask your partner what they want from you

To show further understanding and support, ask the person what they need. He may need:

  • medication reminders
  • company when visiting a doctor or visiting therapy
  • homemade dishes
  • encouragement to socialize or exercise
  • hug or hold the hand
  • to sometimes be left alone

Useful questions to ask include:

  • How can I help you?
  • Would it be helpful if I...?

4. Encourage your partner to heal

Depression can cause a person to lose their motivation, which can be a barrier to seeking treatment. However, most people with depression need treatment to get better.

Those who support someone with depression can play an important role in their recovery by encouraging them to seek medical help.

To inspire a partner to seek treatment, a person can try:

  • joint detection and documentation of your partner's symptoms
  • expression of desire to help
  • discussion of treatment options such as medication, psychotherapy, and lifestyle changes
  • accompaniment to doctor appointments

5. Support your partner during recovery

Recovery from depression can sometimes be difficult. To support a partner in the recovery process:

  • help them keep track of their prescriptions and medications
  • do some physical exercise together
  • plan and prepare healthy meals together
  • try to reduce stressors at home
  • make your goals small and achievable
  • encourage them to socialize with other people
  • plan fun activities together
  • pay attention to the person's progress towards recovery
  • avoid forcing treatment on the person

Let your partner know they are not alone when you say:

  • I'm here for you.
  • We'll deal with this together.

6. Accept that there will be bad days

People with depression have good days and bad days. To cope with bad days:

  • expect them to happen
  • understand that this is a normal part of depression
  • don't give up love and support at this time
  • take some time and do something nice, either alone or with others
  • remember that not every day will be like this - there will be good days

7. Take care of yourself

When a person supports a partner with depression, it is very important to take the time to enjoy hobbies and other activities for yourself.

Caring for a partner with depression can be draining, frustrating, and intimidating.

Research shows that having a spouse with depression increases a person's risk of developing depressive symptoms. This risk is especially high when a man is supportive of a depressed woman.

Those caring for someone with a mental illness should also take care of their own mental health. They can do it:

  • trying to stay positive
  • having realistic expectations about the recovery process
  • knowing that they also have the right to be heard and respected
  • taking time out and doing pleasurable activities and hobbies
  • interacting with people other than their partner
  • seeking help from friends or relatives
  • doing regular exercise
  • eating healthy
  • trying to get more sleep and rest
  • visiting a psychologist or psychological support groups

Professional support

Professional treatment is an important part of the recovery process. The first step is often to see a doctor, who can recommend treatment, psychotherapy, or both.

For particularly severe depressive symptoms or in life-threatening situations, seek emergency care.

Beginning of form

People with depression may be at risk of suicide. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, more than half of those who die by suicide suffer from major depression.

Partners of those who suffer from depression should be aware of the warning signs of suicide so that they can take prompt action if necessary. Warning signs include:

  • talking about death or suicide
  • having a suicide plan
  • preparation of means of suicide, e.g. collection of pills
  • preparation for death, e.g. by making a will
  • distribution of things
  • farewell to family and friends
  • engaging in risky or reckless behavior
  • Extreme changes in mood or personality
  • withdrawal from society

If a person suspects that someone is in imminent danger of suicide, they should seek emergency help.

If someone believes that a loved one is contemplating suicide but is not in immediate danger, they should contact the person's doctor and seek support from other family members or a support group.

Support for a partner with depression, both emotional and practical, can help speed up the recovery process.

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How to behave with a person with depression. Instructions - Meduza

Depression is one of the most common mental disorders: according to the World Health Organization as of February 2017, more than 300 million people worldwide suffer from it. The scale of the problem in Russia is harder to assess. Experts talk about almost eight million Russians suffering from depression, but specify that, most likely, there are much more of them - people with depression often do not seek help because of shame or unwillingness to admit the seriousness of their condition. Depression can be underestimated not only by the patients themselves, but also by their relatives. At the request of Meduza, the author of the remain_nameless telegram channel about mental health, Daria Chagina, tells how to properly behave with a person suffering from depression, so as not only not to harm him, but also to help.

Recognize the importance of the problem

Pop culture has taught us that depression is a kind of seasonal blues: many of us have heard (or said) "I'm depressed today." Of course, any person experiences bouts of melancholy and depression - due to lack of sleep, problems at work, a quarrel with a loved one, and even bad weather. But as soon as the surrounding circumstances change, everything returns to normal. Depression, on the other hand, is arranged differently: its causes can be deeply hidden, it greatly affects a person’s life, and only in 40% of cases goes away on its own - and even then not completely.

Depression is expressed primarily in a constant depressed state, chronic fatigue and loss of interest in things that used to please. In addition, the disease can be accompanied by various somatic manifestations: a person either suffers from insomnia, or, conversely, constantly wants to sleep. Doesn't want sex. He cannot concentrate on anything and loses his ability to work. Loses appetite or, conversely, begins to overeat. Depression can also lead to a complete loss of interest in life, a suicidal state and suicide. The diagnosis is made if the duration of symptoms is at least two weeks - but depression can last for months or even years, and it must be treated.

Risk factors for depression can range from psychological shocks or trauma, dysfunctional family situations or lack of parental love, as well as genetic predisposition or various diseases, as well as alcohol or drug use. Moreover, psychogenic depression (caused, for example, by the death of a loved one, divorce or violence) does not necessarily come immediately - people experience difficult events in different ways, and sometimes the reaction to them comes with a delay.

Show that you are there

Depressed people don't just feel lonely, they often feel ashamed and guilty about their feelings and emotions. For fear of being misunderstood, ridiculed, or rejected, they prefer to remain silent about their experiences, do not seek help, or refuse to acknowledge the seriousness of their situation. Left alone with their feelings, many try to suppress and hide them - and only more convinced of their own "abnormality", worthlessness and uselessness. As studies confirm, it is this feeling of separation from other people that can lead to suicidal thoughts - therefore, the support of relatives and friends is especially important for depressed people. Make it clear that you are there no matter what, the person’s condition does not affect your attitude towards him in any way, you understand the depth of his suffering and are ready to help.

Do not discount the feelings and experiences of a depressed person

If you have never had depression, then you are unlikely to be able to fully understand the state of your loved one. Do not try to compare it to a "bad day" or just a difficult period in life (for example, a session or a job change) and do not offer a person with depression to "pull themselves together" or "tune in to positive." Even if you sincerely want to express support, such advice will only devalue the feelings of a person who is faced with depression, because he knows that everything is not so simple. People in this situation often hear, “Others have worse problems than you”, “It’s all in your head”, “Do something useful”, but all this only causes more shame, guilt or annoyance due to helplessness in the face of illness. Hearing something like this, a person may conclude that you will never understand him, and close up - then it will be much more difficult to help. If you don’t know what to say in such a situation (and this is normal), just hug, say: “I can’t even imagine what you are experiencing right now, but I see that it is very difficult” - and let the person show feelings in the way he it's necessary.

Don't take the words and actions of a depressed person personally

People with depression are generally not able to lead the same active lifestyle as before. For example, they stop responding to messages and calls, refuse offers to go out to dinner or to the movies, they may even miss your birthday or wedding. This looks strange and insulting: after all, quite recently everything was in order, and today a person comes up with reasons to avoid a meeting. And if he nevertheless agrees to it, he can behave indifferently and not even try to pretend that he is interested in listening to you.

It's not about you at all - it's just that in a depressed state, most often there is no strength for anything. Even such simple, ordinary things as getting out of bed, taking a shower and preparing breakfast require a lot of effort. It is all the more difficult to go somewhere where there will be a lot of people. In addition, communication with people itself, even if it is not binding, requires a return, for which a depressed person does not have enough emotional resources. Remember that depressed people feel and appreciate the support of their family and friends, but they simply cannot respond to it in the same way as before.

Suggest seeking professional help

Depression doesn't often go away on its own, but even if it does, it can come back. According to statistics, 50% of people who have had a depressive episode in their lives have a second one after some time, and 80% of people who have two depressive episodes in their medical history sooner or later have a third. So if you suspect depression, a person should definitely see a specialist - first of all, a psychiatrist who can prescribe drugs if necessary. True, it is also very difficult for many to take this step: going to the doctor is considered something like a “last resort”, an admission of defeat. Antidepressants are also treated with great apprehension, although now there is a large selection of funds - and a competent specialist will be able to choose the right ones in each individual case. Yes, it doesn’t always work right away, but often you can’t do without medication.

Your loved one may be seriously afraid of going to the doctor because of the fear that he will be labeled as "mentally ill", "registered" or even "put in a fool". In fact, psychiatric registration was canceled back in the early 90s, and a person can be placed in a hospital against their will only by a court decision - or if a person poses a threat to himself and is not able to take care of himself. But if your loved one is still haunted by the fear of free medicine, advise him to contact a private specialist - if possible.

Tell the person with depression that more and more people are going to therapy and it really helps. After all, with a fracture, your friend would go to the surgeon - so in this case, you need to see a doctor. Offer help in finding a psychiatrist, offer to give a ride to an appointment or just see them off. But in no case do not shame and do not force.

Help with the simplest things (but in moderation)

When a person close to you cannot do some things due to illness, there is a desire to take everything upon yourself. You really can help, but here you need to know when to stop.

If you live together, help with daily chores: waking up and going to bed on time, remembering to take a shower or soak in the bath, eat well, and remember to take medication if prescribed. The correct daily routine helps to maintain some kind of balance even in the most difficult condition. You can try to involve a person in physical exercises - studies confirm that sports help in the treatment and prevention of depression. Moreover, it is the regularity of classes, and not their intensity, that plays the key role - you need to exercise for at least three months and for 45-60 minutes. Workouts on a pulse of 120-130 beats per minute are best suited: running, walking, swimming, cycling, tennis, dancing.

Offer to install useful applications

When depressed, it is useful to monitor how your mood changes over time - there are many paid and free mobile applications in Google Play and the App Store for this. For example, Moodnotes. When creating the application, the developers relied on the method of cognitive behavioral therapy, so in it you can not only note what you think about and how you feel today, but also track what causes certain thoughts and moods. You can also keep a mood diary through the How Are You and MoodPanda apps.

Mindfulness meditation apps can also be useful. It forms the basis of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), which is now gaining popularity in the United States. The main goal is to help get rid of the tendency to automatically respond to thoughts, emotions and life events. Perhaps the best mobile app for this is Headspace; it's available on both iOS and Android, but it's a paid subscription for $12.99 a month (I must say it's loved by many who don't have a depression problem, too). A free alternative to it could be Stop, Breathe & Think. But, of course, we must remember that neither meditation nor a mood diary can replace treatment, but can only be a help (well, it doesn’t hurt to discuss these practices with your doctor).

Be attentive and patient

The process of treating depression is long and difficult. How much time and effort it will take depends on the severity of depression (mild, moderate, severe), and on the chosen treatment method (only taking pills, only psychotherapy, or both), and on how quickly it turned out to pick up the right pills and their dosage and, finally, whether it was possible to find a suitable psychotherapist. It also happens that a psychotherapist is good, but not suitable. Even if you have done everything you could and the healing process has begun, you should not expect an immediate result. Don't ask, "Are you feeling better?" - It may seem to a depressed person that progress in his treatment does not meet your expectations.

Instead, ask delicately from time to time if he remembers to take his pills, if he misses psychiatric and/or psychotherapist appointments, and if so, try to carefully find out why. For example, in psychotherapy there is such a thing as "resistance" - the patient's subconscious opposition to the process of psychotherapy. This phenomenon is associated with the fear of change, because it is far from always easy and painless to come to a cure. Resistance in psychotherapy can be expressed in many ways, including just missing meetings or refusing to continue psychotherapy in principle. Dealing with this is the work of a psychotherapist, but a careful, confidential conversation with a loved one can also help.

Take care of yourself

Being around a depressed person can be exhausting. Especially if this is a person close to you, to whose condition you cannot be indifferent. Nevertheless, do not forget the main rule from the instructions for behavior in emergency situations: you must first put on the oxygen mask. You may feel like you have to stay strong for your loved one, but you don't have to sacrifice your comfort and convenience. Don't forget that you have your own worries and feelings. If you make it your goal to get your loved one out of depression at all costs and forget about everything else, there is a risk that you will undermine your own health.


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