How to deal with psycho ex wife
How to Deal With a Crazy Psycho Ex-Wife in Eight Easy Ways |
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Dealing with a breakup is never easy. One goes through a whirlwind of emotions, from sadness and depression to anger and betrayal.
While handling a breakup with a girlfriend is upsetting, the pain amplifies when you’ve just broken up with the partner you were married to for many years.
As you process the pain, the one element that can make the path to recovery and healing tougher is when your ex-wife is being difficult and making your life miserable.
When a marriage falls apart, a lot of resentment and fury can manifest itself in the form of gaslighting. This leads to your ex blaming you for everything that went wrong.
No matter how much you try to move on, your ex-wife keeps returning to sprinkle salt on the fresh wounds. The situation becomes even more complicated when children are involved in the scenario.
Is this something you’re going through? Do you want to get out of this vicious cycle?
Well, you’ve come to the right place for advice. Let’s walk you through some easy ways that explain how to deal with a psycho ex-wife.
How to Deal With Psycho Ex Wife Through Simple Ways
Handling a psycho ex is tricky but not possible. Let us delve into some simple methods you can follow not to let your ex-wife drive you mad.
1. Create Effective Methods of Communication
There may have been a time when you couldn’t have imagined not picking up your partner’s call or not responding to their text right away.
However, once you part ways, you’re no longer obligated to reply to them immediately, and that’s the first boundary you should set after separating from your ex-wife.
The lines of communication should be open only to facilitate necessary conversations. Your ex will try their best to trigger you or get on your nerves with constant calls and salty texts, but you should resort to just responding instead of reacting.
The main thing a toxic ex wants is your attention, and when you give it to them by responding to their communication methods with anger or jealousy, you’re feeding into their vile tactics. This is known as negative intimacy, and you must avoid it at all costs.
Remember that your kids are the main reason to interact with your ex, which is why maintaining an ambiance of civility is imperative. Please do not pick up their calls in the middle of the night or reply to their messages immediately.
Please get back to them at your convenience so that they realize they can no longer ring you up out of the blue. Try to keep a gap between the time they take to start a conversation and the time you take to respond.
2. Have Brief And Formal Meetings
While calls, emails, and text messages are excellent ways to interact, face-to-face meetings are often inevitable with your ex-wife, especially regarding legal or financial matters.
Before you meet your ex in person, let them know it will be for a brief period and that you expect them to be civil and practical. Do not take your kids to these meetings, especially if you fear they might turn ugly.
3. Establish Strong Boundaries
Establishing firm boundaries is crucial, which is why you must do so as soon as you separate from your ex. If you were the one making efforts in your marriage, then chances are that you might find it tough to say no to your ex, but you have to learn to say it.
If you aren’t firm and assertive, your ex might take it as hostile behavior and trouble you even more. So, instead of playing games or being passive aggressive, let them know precisely how this equation will work.
For example, if there are certain days when you each get to be with the kids, inform them to stick to the schedule. Don’t be afraid to refer to the court order if required, which means you should begin the legal process as quickly as possible.
4.
Keep The Kids Out of ItWhen two married people split up, it affects the kids more than anyone else. No matter how bitter you feel towards your ex-wife, never let your kids get caught in the crossfire.
If your ex fills their ears with negative comments about you, don’t reply with angry retorts. Instead, sit down with your kids and let them know you’re there to answer all their questions and doubts.
After all, a kid wants to love their parents equally, so ensure never to talk about your ex-wife negatively in front of them. Maintain a neutral tone instead and remind them it’s okay to feel confused and that you and your ex will always be the loving home they can return to.
5. Be Honest
Being honest with your ex-wife will make this arduous process much more manageable. Tell her it’s not okay to discuss personal details with mutual friends or post about your problems on social media.
You also need to apply this honesty to yourself. While your marriage may have been rosy in the past, there’s a reason it got over.
So, remind yourself of the reasons you’re no longer together with your ex.
Don’t paint a false picture of your ex-partner in your head, don’t justify their toxicity, and do not let them get away with manipulative behavior. Most importantly, tell them there’s no way the two of you can get back together.
6. Prioritize Your Happiness
One of the most effective ways to deal with a psycho ex-partner is to remember that your happiness comes first. Regardless of how much they try to gaslight you, remember that you’re a good person and deserve better.
Although it might take some time to get over the relationship, you can develop some coping mechanisms to heal better. This could be anything from yoga, meditation, and journalling, to traveling, indulging in art, or meeting new people.
Always remember that it isn’t the end of the world. Time will go by, and you will eventually meet people who genuinely deserve to be with you and bask in honor of your presence.
7.
Consult The LawEven though you might want to refrain from involving the law, it becomes unavoidable. If your ex-wife keeps bothering you with constant calls, threatens, or harasses you, know it’s time to call the police.
Getting a restraining order is a good start. This will keep her out of your hair, especially if you haven’t gone through with the divorce yet.
8. Talk to Your Friends
Talking about your broken marriage or your psycho ex is difficult. While you might not want to talk about it with your family, you can always turn to your friends for advice and comfort. It’s much better than bottling things up and letting them affect your sanity.
If you belong to a particular age group, chances are your friends, too, have been through hurdles in their marriages. Perhaps they’ve gone through a messy divorce as well. Visit them, have a heart-to-heart conversation, and allow their words to soothe your mind and soul.
How to Know Your Ex is a Psycho?
When we enter a relationship, we almost always pin our hopes and dreams on it.
We believe we’ll have a beautiful love story and a happily ever after. While this dream comes true, it becomes an absolute nightmare for some.
Just because you dated someone for a while doesn’t mean you can predict what kind of husband or wife they will be. At times, it could also happen that you date someone for years only for them to turn into strangers you no longer recognize after getting married.
However, sure signs can always tell when someone has a weird or vicious way of thinking. Be it before marriage or after marriage, look out for these signs that will tell you how chaotic your ex-spouse is:
1. They Refuse to Take Responsibility
Psychopaths refuse to take responsibility for their behavior, no matter the situation. You must have been in cases when you fought with your ex, but they refused to apologize. Perhaps your ex said something hurtful, but blamed you for being too sensitive.
Being with someone who feels no guilt or remorse can be a very taxing experience.
Such individuals constantly lie and manipulate. They lack empathy for others and believe themselves to be above everyone else.
2. They Are Impulsive
Did impulse drive your ex? Did they make random decisions that you never understood? Well, then, you were definitely with a problematic person.
Such people don’t have linear behavior and can change colors and personalities at their convenience. Dealing with an impulsive partner can affect you mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially.
3. They Always Seem Bored
Narcissists are only interested in themselves. All they want to talk about is their likes, dislikes, problems, adventures, and abilities. They lose interest when you talk about yourself or sharing about your life.
Did you ever notice how your ex-wife expressed no interest in your life or didn’t ask you how your day was or how your family was doing? This is because they constantly want to be the center of attention, and everything else seems boring to them.
Please pay attention to how they behave with others and in different social situations. This could be with strangers, friends, or family.
Toxic people will have no regard for anyone’s feelings. They will openly utter hurtful, harmful, and arrogant words without thinking about how they might affect the other person.
This might cause cracks in your bond with your friends and family members, who wouldn’t want to tolerate your rude partner.
5. They Have Questionable Morals
Were there ever situations where you found your ex-wife indulging in harmful behavior towards others? Maybe they tried to paint someone in a bad light for their benefit? Or ruined someone’s image to get ahead in their career?
These instances point out the questionable morals your ex possesses. Consider yourself lucky that you got out of such a bad relationship.
6. Their Behavior is Inconsistent
When someone is toxic, their behavior is inconsistent. They will never display the same emotions towards you throughout the relationship.
For example, when you get married, they might love you and be attentive. However, as time goes by, their behavior towards you changes. You will begin to feel neglected and unloved, and that’s when you know your ex’s behavior is problematic. It feels like they dropped you from a pedestal overnight.
7. They Play The Victim
Psychopaths are great at playing the victim. Even when it’s their fault, they will gaslight you into believing they did nothing wrong. Beware of such shrewd, cunning individuals.
When you bring up their past, for example, you will find them saying that their mother was harsh or their partner was not attentive. When you hear such comments, just run in the opposite direction.
8. They Threaten You and Your Current Partner
Nothing drives a psycho ex crazier than seeing their ex-spouse with a new partner. Being the sadists they are, they can’t tolerate someone else’s happiness.
You might find yourself facing empty threats from your ex-wife.
She might also bother your new partner by trying to contact her or snoop around. Toxic ex-partners might also issue suicide threats or try to tarnish your reputation on social media.
Conclusion
A relationship ending isn’t an accessible event in anyone’s life. On top of the heartbreak, there is the sinking feeling that you must continue with life as if nothing happened.
Moving on is the only practical thing to do, and if your ex-wife is acting as a hindrance to this process, taking steps becomes the only plausible option.
So, if you’re facing the case of a toxic ex-spouse, apply these tips and witness your life improve drastically.
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How to Handle Ex Wife Drama in 7 Simple Steps
Last Updated on January 17, 2022 by Michele Tripple
This post contains affiliate links. If you click and buy we may make a commission, at no additional charge to you.
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Dealing with some crazy ex wife drama and about ready to lose it? Try these 7 tips to help you on how to handle ex wife drama and move on once and for all.
There is a famous saying that not all things are permanent, and in the same way not every relationship will have a happy ending. Some people have faced divorce and after that, it will take time to overcome the pain. But sometimes after the divorce you might find yourself dealing with some ex wife drama that you were hoping to avoid, even after you have set co-parenting boundaries. So how do you handle ex-wife drama? Is there really a solution to this problem? Read on and find out!
Is it really hard to handle your dramatic ex-wife?It is really interesting when it comes to drama between ex spouses.
I think most couples that have been divorced will claim that their ex was extremely hard to deal with, especially when you are newly divorced and even more so when you have kids involved.
Most men feel that their ex-wife is making their life hard and not only for them but also the people around them. While we want to automatically assume that it is our ex-wife’s problem we should really try to evaluate the entire situation at hand first.
Need More Help with your Ex? We’ve Got You Covered!
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Before figuring out how to handle your dramatic ex-wife, you need to understand her because sometimes a better understanding will solve difficult problems easily. A breakup or divorce from a relationship is the most difficult thing especially for women (and even if she asked for it).
Here are a few things that will help you to understand your ex wife better.
- Your ex-wife might be completely lost trying to figure things out. If she has never worked before or she is worried about bills she might be especially stressed towards you. Give her grace when she is a little more dramatic than normal.
- If she finds you happier and you are enjoying with new women, then she won’t accept that. Even the divorce is mutual still disturbs you then analyze the cause
- Does your ex wife hate your new wife or girlfriend or at least appears to? It may be hard to see you so happy. Overtime she will understand that you are both better people when you both can move on from the situation.
- Women have a harder time moving on from something they loved, so it will take them time as they go through the grief of losing you.
If you are finding it harder and harder to handle ex wife drama here are 7 things you can do to try to overcome the drama and move on and help her move on as well.
This will be one of the best ways to handle your ex-wife. If your ex-wife doesn’t make you feel the way she did before, then it is time to tell her that you don’t love her. You should have the courage to say “No” to her feelings, and make sure that you are not creating any hope for the relationship or leading her on in any way.
If you are having pity or compassion towards her she might feel like their is a glimmer of hope in your relationship still.
Remove Unnecessary CommunicationIf you don’t know how to handle your ex-wife’s drama then remove all unnecessary communication. This means you don’t need to randomly call her or text her or tell her what you had for lunch.
Keep all communication to the things that need to be discussed. Focus on the kids and remember that is the reason why communication needs to happen while you overcome these struggles.
Be ConsistentSo often when couples split up there is what we call the gray zone or the middle ground.
They don’t know what the other person wants or if they should move on because they are getting mixed signals from their ex.
During this time be consistent with being straight forward and laying things out in a very black and white way.
Don’t tell her she looks pretty because this brings it to the gray area where she might start holding out hope again and won’t move on or try to keep you from moving on as well.
Be the Bigger PersonUsually drama begins when one person says something and then it is followed by the other. So often the nit picking causes undue pain and drama. It is time to move on, take the high road and be the bigger person.
If she tells you you look fat in those pants just say, “thank you.” At that point she can’t say anymore. If she complains about something, just smile and tell her that you will think about it. As you are the bigger person you don’t fuel the fire and she will eventually move on and stop.
Start ignoringThis is one of the great methods that will help you to handle your dramatic ex-wife.
If you can’t handle her, then ignoring her will be the best move from your side. If you start to ignore her, she will be tired of calling you, trying to meet you, or starting a conversation.
Overtime she will realize that you don’t want to engage and she will move on.
Of course if it comes to the kids and is important you will want to respond as soon as you can.
Be happyThe easiest way to handle ex wife drama is to just focus on you and be happy. When you do this you start to see the world in a whole new light. Yes, her outbursts might seem ridiculous and annoying at times, but as you live your life being happy they will not bother you like they used to. You will be grateful for the life you have now and look forward to better relationships in the future.
Start a new lifeLife after divorce is the most difficult thing, but you should not lose faith in a new relationship or marriage when you are ready for it.
Give yourself time to heal before moving on. Of course your new life does not need to involve a relationship. Maybe you want to pick up a new hobby or sport that you have been thinking about. As you do this, it allows both of you to move on.
Only the people who have gone through the divorce will know how frustrating it is to overcome and how hard it is to overcome. If you find yourself still having ex wife drama after trying these tips it might be a great idea for you and her to seek some outside help to help you solve your problems so that you both can move on in a healthy fashion!
How do you handle this drama? Share with us in the comments!
Ready for more help with Ex Wives? Check these out!
- How I Learned to Love My Ex Husband’s New Wife
- 7 Long Distance Parenting Strategies that Work!
- Co Parenting Boundaries to Set Today!
how to behave with the ex-wife of her husband.
how to deal with …
14 replies Relcome
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raspberry bush
She is waiting for your reaction. move on silently. about her and they will think that she ran away from a psycho dispensary
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Guest
Yes, she is afraid that she will marry you and will not return to her. So she provokes. Walk proudly, laugh gracefully in her face.
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raspberry bush
She is waiting for your reaction. Walk further silently. They will think that she ran away from the psycho of the dispensary
#9,0003
#10
Guest
on An alien misfortune of happiness cannot be built by the author) You are in the future
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Psychologist's blog: what is gaslighting and how to resist it? nine0001
- Elena Savinova
- Psychologist
Author photo, Ayo ogunsplash
Despite the romantic origin - from the Oscar -winning film "Gas Light" - the evidence sympathy or love.
Light, which does not heat
This is a kind of subtle psychological violence used intentionally for a long time.
nine0003
Its purpose is to make a person doubt either the adequacy of his own perception of reality, or the objectivity of the surrounding world in general.
As a result - lose touch with reality, lose faith in yourself, suspect insanity, fall into despair.
Thus, the hero of George Cukor's film steals jewelry from his wife. But to reassure her that it is only her imagination, she simultaneously makes various manipulations with home lighting.
- Psychologist's blog: is it necessary to climb into the soul and phone of a loved one?
The wife, of course, notices something is wrong, but he claims that it also seems to her. A puzzled woman who sincerely trusts her husband begins to believe that she is hallucinating.
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It is necessary - also make excuses that everything is done for his own good.
nine0003
Manipulative denial of reality can be related to facts: I have never done such a thing, never said it, again you are making everything up. So are emotions.
For example, parents prone to excessive control, trying to accustom a child to the "right" emotions and feelings, often tell him: in fact, you don't think so. You only think that you want it, but you want something completely different.
A gres s ores cry too
Also often parents deny physical abuse of children.
A man considers his wife's tears, which are a normal reaction to his insulting words or actions, to be a manifestation of her depression and advises her to go for treatment.
A girl who claims to be harassed is accused of provoking them or even declared crazy.
Non-confirmation is another name for this manipulative behavior.
- Psychologist's blog: how to get rid of "fake" emotions? nine0124
It belongs to the Scottish psychiatrist Ronald Laing.
Given that a person is a social being, he needs others to "confirm" the adequacy of his own actions and views.
The essence of gaslighting is the deliberate refusal to provide such confirmation, the false denial of one's actions and thoughts.
Such a phenomenon is often observed where people stay together for a long time - at work, in the family, in groups of children or teenagers. nine0003
For example, a wife prefers to silently endure yet another attack of her husband's moral bullying - because she depends on him financially, for the sake of her children, because of the fear of being abandoned.
But that only cheers up the gaslighter. He seeks to unbalance his partner at any cost, and then shift the blame to him for throwing a tantrum again. And thus once again prove their supposedly right - that a woman has mental problems.
- Psychologist's blog: when should you get a divorce? nine0124
The need to manipulate, to humiliate arises from the unwillingness to admit oneself guilty of worsening relations.
Because of low self-esteem, fear of losing a beautiful and smart wife, envy of her success. The cause is often childhood trauma, emotional unavailability of parents.
In their reproaches, in order to annoy more painfully, the aggressors, as a rule, appeal to what a person is not able to change - to age, gender, origin, physiological characteristics.
"How can you behave like that, you're a woman!", "Don't swear in front of children, you're a mother!", "Look at yourself - I'm a prince too!", "With your complexion, you can go without eating for three days" . Familiar after all arguments? nine0003
Polite rudeness
But gaslighting isn't even loud quarrels or tram swearing.
It is said that people who are not indifferent to each other quarrel because of the lack of sharp emotions. But owing to their low culture, they do not know how to experience them in any other way.
Yes, and reconciliation after a storm can be sweet.
A healthy "showdown" is when a husband and wife on an equal footing can express to each other everything that has boiled over.
In our case, we are dealing with oppression, an attempt by the psychologically stronger to subdue the weak. Also pass him off as a fool. nine0003
This is the ability to say something disgusting with a smile, an open mockery to pass off as caring. Here, insults are not used, but, for example, eloquent silence when the victim enters the classroom or office.
This may be laughter behind your back and assurances that everything was just heard. Or a fake sympathetic question, why does he or she look so bad, maybe something happened.
Gaslighters are not only spouses or colleagues in relation to each other.
This is how adult children sometimes behave with elderly parents. For example, a daughter says to an old father who wants to help: now our dad will break or burn something again.
Or he throws it ironically and condescendingly at his mother: "Mom, have you forgotten how old you are that you put on this dress? The main thing is not to forget now where you are going."
Darkness at the end of the tunnel
Image copyright Cassidy Kelley/Unsplash
Stopping the tug-of-war is enough to counter gaslighting. nine0003
It is not necessary to check whether you or your partner did not really say or do what they are trying to convince you. It will only sow unnecessary doubts in the mind.
You need to trust yourself more, develop confidence in your own convictions, the correctness of your actions.
If such unhealthy relationships have developed at work, it is better to change the team. The same applies to children. If a child is bullied at school, it is better to transfer him to another educational institution.
If the gaslighter is your husband, don't make excuses or prove that you're not crazy.
