How to deal with a narcissistic sociopath
‘Narcissistic Sociopath:’ Symptoms and 5 Coping Strategies
Narcissism and sociopathy are separate psychological and behavioral characteristics, but sometimes they occur together.
If you have someone in your life who has traits of narcissism and sociopathy, they may be difficult to deal with.
They might appear to consider themselves more important than you, and they may not seem to understand or care about your feelings.
Their behavior may not be a choice they’re making. Instead, they may have a type of personality disorder that affects how they interact with other people.
There is no formal diagnosis of “narcissistic sociopath” in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition (DSM-5). This is the reference that clinicians use when they identify mental health conditions.
Instead, the words “narcissistic” and “sociopath” are associated with two personality disorders:
- “narcissistic” = narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)
- “sociopath” = antisocial personality disorder (ASPD)
Personality disorders are conditions that feature unhealthy thought patterns and behaviors. They’re named as such because they are the extremes of traits that most people have to some degree. These traits may be diagnosed as a disorder if they affect relationships or other people in a harmful way or to a greater degree than one would expect.
There are 10 personality disorders in total, grouped into 3 clusters. NPD and ASPD are in cluster B, or the “erratic and dramatic group.”
A person with sociopathic and narcissistic traits may not have any mental health diagnosis, or they may have NPD or ASPD, or both.
Narcissism is excessive self-interest and self-admiration. A person can have narcissistic traits without having NPD.
It’s when narcissism impacts many areas of life that it becomes diagnosable. The DSM-5 states that for an NPD diagnosis a person must exhibit at least five of nine symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder:
- exaggerated self-importance
- obsession with success and power
- belief in their own special status
- need for excessive admiration
- sense of entitlement
- exploitation of others to achieve success
- lack of empathy
- preoccupation with envy
- arrogance
Not all people with NPD act the same way.
There are several types of narcissism, the primary two being:
- overt (obvious)
- covert (hidden)
Overt NPD is what you might expect to find connected with narcissism. People with this subtype tend to be attention-seeking, charming, and arrogant. Meanwhile, people with covert NPD tend to be fragile, hypersensitive, and chronically envious of others.
A mental health professional makes personality disorder diagnoses. It’s more than just checking items off a list. It’s a thorough process that examines a person’s functioning over a long period of time and not just their present-day state.
Sociopathy refers to the characteristics of people with ASPD. In addition to one trait being over 18 years of age, an ASPD diagnosis requires at least three of the following:
- breaking the law
- being deceitful for fun or personal gain
- behaving impulsively
- acting aggressively
- disregarding safety
- ignoring responsibility
- having little or no remorse for hurting another person
There should also be a history of conduct disorder before 15 years of age, and antisocial behavior isn’t the result of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.
“Sociopath” is a term some people use to describe those with ASPD. Many people confuse sociopathy with psychopathy, but they’re not quite the same.
‘Sociopath’ vs. ‘psychopath’
The terms “sociopath” and “psychopath” have different meanings, although people often use them interchangeably. While the word “sociopath” describes a person with ASPD, “psychopath” describes a person with particular characteristics rather than a specific diagnosis.
Both terms have traits in common as well as differences. For example, they can lead to law-breaking behavior, but in different ways. Sociopathy problematic behaviors are impulsive, whereas psychopathy misconduct is more calculated.
Some people with ASPD have characteristics of psychopathy, but not all. Researchers estimate that only one-third of people with ASPD also meet the criteria for having psychopathy.
NPD and ASPD are distinctly different conditions, but there are some similarities in shared characteristics.
A 2018 study featuring 2,149 participants who completed interview assessments of personality and psychological traits revealed a strong overlap between NPD and ASPD.
For example, both feature a lack of empathy. Also, a disregard for the feelings or needs of other people is a trait that’s both “narcissistic” and “sociopathic.”
A narcissistic ex may move on quickly and act cruelly to you right after a breakup, for instance.
People with either condition tend to be suspicious and find it hard to forgive. They may be shallow, inclined to exploit other people for their gain.
However, if the person has a criminal record, is physically aggressive, and has a history of getting in trouble in their youth, they’re more likely to have ASPD since these aren’t symptoms of NPD. Other “sociopathic” traits not usually shared by NPD include impulsive behavior and deceit.
People with NPD seek admiration much more than those with ASPD. Preoccupation with envy is another way to tell the two apart.
This is a narcissistic trait but not one that is sociopathic.
Dealing with narcissistic and sociopathic traits can be difficult, and sometimes people with NPD and ASPD are unlikely to engage in treatment.
More often, those affected by someone with NPD or ASPD are the ones seeking treatment for themselves. For example, they may experience anxiety or depression that results from being treated poorly.
Also, they may seek treatment to learn more about why they may be more likely to engage in relationships with people with narcissistic or sociopathic traits.
If you’re dealing with someone with narcissistic and sociopathic traits, these tips may help.
Empathy and insight
Understanding a little bit about the causes of NPD and ASPD can make it easier for you to cope if there’s someone in your life living with these issues.
It’s essential to remember that NPD and ASPD behaviors are not choices an individual makes. They’re not purposefully trying to hurt you.
Researchers believe that both genetics and environment contribute to personality disorders. For example, research from 2021 suggests that genetic factors may play a role in developing ASPD. Also, research from 2019 and 2020 indicates that childhood experiences may affect ASPD and NPD, respectively.
NPD and ASPD can stem from early childhood adverse events such as trauma caused by dysfunctional family relationships. Therefore, the narcissistic or sociopathic behaviors you see are not because of you. They were present long before you met.
To learn more
If you’d like to learn more about the possible causes of NPD and ASPD, consider reading our in-depth articles:
- Causes of NPD
- Causes of ASPD
Self-care
Prioritizing self-care is vital. A person with narcissistic or sociopathic tendencies probably isn’t capable of nurturing your emotional health.
But you can take care of this by making yourself a priority. Some ways in which you can support yourself could include:
- stress reduction activities
- hobbies
- healthy lifestyle practices
- connecting with friends and family
Self-advocacy
It’s necessary to stand up for yourself and your needs, but in a way that won’t cause more conflict.
A calm response and rational detachment can help you prevent a situation from escalating while you’re setting boundaries for yourself.
It may be wise to pick your battles in particular scenarios. Sometimes walking away from conflict is the best form of self-advocacy. If a situation is dysfunctional, you don’t have to participate.
Outside help
You may feel alone in your situation, but you’re not. Even if none of your friends share your experience, there are people you haven’t met yet who do.
Support groups, in-person and online, can connect you with other people in your situation.
A therapist may also help you handle any stress or anxiety you may be feeling. Taking care of your mental health is as important as managing your physical well-being.
People with narcissistic and sociopathic behaviors can be challenging to deal with. This is especially true if the person in your life is a spouse, family member, or someone in your household.
It helps to remember that the things they say and do are because their brains are wired differently than most people.
It’s not because you’ve done or said anything wrong. Their behaviors are not your fault.
Though the person in your life may never support your emotional or mental health, you can practice self-care and self-advocacy to have the better life you deserve.
‘Narcissistic Sociopath:’ Symptoms and 5 Coping Strategies
Narcissism and sociopathy are separate psychological and behavioral characteristics, but sometimes they occur together.
If you have someone in your life who has traits of narcissism and sociopathy, they may be difficult to deal with.
They might appear to consider themselves more important than you, and they may not seem to understand or care about your feelings.
Their behavior may not be a choice they’re making. Instead, they may have a type of personality disorder that affects how they interact with other people.
There is no formal diagnosis of “narcissistic sociopath” in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition (DSM-5).
This is the reference that clinicians use when they identify mental health conditions.
Instead, the words “narcissistic” and “sociopath” are associated with two personality disorders:
- “narcissistic” = narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)
- “sociopath” = antisocial personality disorder (ASPD)
Personality disorders are conditions that feature unhealthy thought patterns and behaviors. They’re named as such because they are the extremes of traits that most people have to some degree. These traits may be diagnosed as a disorder if they affect relationships or other people in a harmful way or to a greater degree than one would expect.
There are 10 personality disorders in total, grouped into 3 clusters. NPD and ASPD are in cluster B, or the “erratic and dramatic group.”
A person with sociopathic and narcissistic traits may not have any mental health diagnosis, or they may have NPD or ASPD, or both.
Narcissism is excessive self-interest and self-admiration.
A person can have narcissistic traits without having NPD.
It’s when narcissism impacts many areas of life that it becomes diagnosable. The DSM-5 states that for an NPD diagnosis a person must exhibit at least five of nine symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder:
- exaggerated self-importance
- obsession with success and power
- belief in their own special status
- need for excessive admiration
- sense of entitlement
- exploitation of others to achieve success
- lack of empathy
- preoccupation with envy
- arrogance
Not all people with NPD act the same way. There are several types of narcissism, the primary two being:
- overt (obvious)
- covert (hidden)
Overt NPD is what you might expect to find connected with narcissism. People with this subtype tend to be attention-seeking, charming, and arrogant. Meanwhile, people with covert NPD tend to be fragile, hypersensitive, and chronically envious of others.
A mental health professional makes personality disorder diagnoses. It’s more than just checking items off a list. It’s a thorough process that examines a person’s functioning over a long period of time and not just their present-day state.
Sociopathy refers to the characteristics of people with ASPD. In addition to one trait being over 18 years of age, an ASPD diagnosis requires at least three of the following:
- breaking the law
- being deceitful for fun or personal gain
- behaving impulsively
- acting aggressively
- disregarding safety
- ignoring responsibility
- having little or no remorse for hurting another person
There should also be a history of conduct disorder before 15 years of age, and antisocial behavior isn’t the result of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.
“Sociopath” is a term some people use to describe those with ASPD. Many people confuse sociopathy with psychopathy, but they’re not quite the same.
‘Sociopath’ vs. ‘psychopath’
The terms “sociopath” and “psychopath” have different meanings, although people often use them interchangeably. While the word “sociopath” describes a person with ASPD, “psychopath” describes a person with particular characteristics rather than a specific diagnosis.
Both terms have traits in common as well as differences. For example, they can lead to law-breaking behavior, but in different ways. Sociopathy problematic behaviors are impulsive, whereas psychopathy misconduct is more calculated.
Some people with ASPD have characteristics of psychopathy, but not all. Researchers estimate that only one-third of people with ASPD also meet the criteria for having psychopathy.
NPD and ASPD are distinctly different conditions, but there are some similarities in shared characteristics.
A 2018 study featuring 2,149 participants who completed interview assessments of personality and psychological traits revealed a strong overlap between NPD and ASPD.
For example, both feature a lack of empathy. Also, a disregard for the feelings or needs of other people is a trait that’s both “narcissistic” and “sociopathic.”
A narcissistic ex may move on quickly and act cruelly to you right after a breakup, for instance.
People with either condition tend to be suspicious and find it hard to forgive. They may be shallow, inclined to exploit other people for their gain.
However, if the person has a criminal record, is physically aggressive, and has a history of getting in trouble in their youth, they’re more likely to have ASPD since these aren’t symptoms of NPD. Other “sociopathic” traits not usually shared by NPD include impulsive behavior and deceit.
People with NPD seek admiration much more than those with ASPD. Preoccupation with envy is another way to tell the two apart. This is a narcissistic trait but not one that is sociopathic.
Dealing with narcissistic and sociopathic traits can be difficult, and sometimes people with NPD and ASPD are unlikely to engage in treatment.
More often, those affected by someone with NPD or ASPD are the ones seeking treatment for themselves. For example, they may experience anxiety or depression that results from being treated poorly.
Also, they may seek treatment to learn more about why they may be more likely to engage in relationships with people with narcissistic or sociopathic traits.
If you’re dealing with someone with narcissistic and sociopathic traits, these tips may help.
Empathy and insight
Understanding a little bit about the causes of NPD and ASPD can make it easier for you to cope if there’s someone in your life living with these issues.
It’s essential to remember that NPD and ASPD behaviors are not choices an individual makes. They’re not purposefully trying to hurt you.
Researchers believe that both genetics and environment contribute to personality disorders. For example, research from 2021 suggests that genetic factors may play a role in developing ASPD. Also, research from 2019 and 2020 indicates that childhood experiences may affect ASPD and NPD, respectively.
NPD and ASPD can stem from early childhood adverse events such as trauma caused by dysfunctional family relationships. Therefore, the narcissistic or sociopathic behaviors you see are not because of you. They were present long before you met.
To learn more
If you’d like to learn more about the possible causes of NPD and ASPD, consider reading our in-depth articles:
- Causes of NPD
- Causes of ASPD
Self-care
Prioritizing self-care is vital. A person with narcissistic or sociopathic tendencies probably isn’t capable of nurturing your emotional health.
But you can take care of this by making yourself a priority. Some ways in which you can support yourself could include:
- stress reduction activities
- hobbies
- healthy lifestyle practices
- connecting with friends and family
Self-advocacy
It’s necessary to stand up for yourself and your needs, but in a way that won’t cause more conflict.
A calm response and rational detachment can help you prevent a situation from escalating while you’re setting boundaries for yourself.
It may be wise to pick your battles in particular scenarios. Sometimes walking away from conflict is the best form of self-advocacy. If a situation is dysfunctional, you don’t have to participate.
Outside help
You may feel alone in your situation, but you’re not. Even if none of your friends share your experience, there are people you haven’t met yet who do.
Support groups, in-person and online, can connect you with other people in your situation.
A therapist may also help you handle any stress or anxiety you may be feeling. Taking care of your mental health is as important as managing your physical well-being.
People with narcissistic and sociopathic behaviors can be challenging to deal with. This is especially true if the person in your life is a spouse, family member, or someone in your household.
It helps to remember that the things they say and do are because their brains are wired differently than most people.
It’s not because you’ve done or said anything wrong. Their behaviors are not your fault.
Though the person in your life may never support your emotional or mental health, you can practice self-care and self-advocacy to have the better life you deserve.
90,000 Psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists - what's the difference?Narcissists and Psychopaths
First and foremost, every psychopath has narcissistic traits, but not every narcissist is a psychopath. Many have narcissistic traits, but those diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are characterized by a lack of empathy and a sense of their own grandiosity. And such people urgently need admiration from others.
Self-esteem of narcissists is lame: deep down they feel vulnerable, and therefore it is so important for them that the people around them were also insecure. Pulling the rest off the pedestal and rising against their background is their defensive tactic. When narcissists do something really bad, they wake up with faint echoes of shame and guilt, while the source of their shame is the opinion of others about them, the possibility of condemnation on their part.
And this is their serious difference from psychopaths - they do not happen to experience remorse. They don't care if anyone gets hurt, they don't care about the consequences of their own actions.
In addition, these people completely lack the ability to empathize, but they brilliantly manipulate others (and often seem very charming at the same time), use them to their advantage. Cunning is their middle name.
Psychopaths and sociopaths
Psychopaths and sociopaths have much in common - both are diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. The key difference is that psychopaths are born, but sociopaths are made. The latter are at risk of becoming children from dysfunctional families and those who grew up in a criminogenic environment. They may not be as comfortable breaking the law and going against the rules as psychopaths, but they have lived in such an environment for too long and have begun to take these rules of the game for granted.
A psychopath builds a relationship by using the other solely for his own purposes - financial, sexual or any other.
A sociopath, on the other hand, can form quite close ties, however, even in such relationships, he will behave coldly and aloofly. Sociopaths are more impulsive, it is easier to provoke a lively reaction in them.
Psychopaths are more cold-blooded and prudent, their nervous system generally reacts to stimuli differently than ours: for example, when we are frightened, our heart begins to beat furiously, the pupils dilate, sweat flows in a stream; we are preparing for a fight-or-flight response. You won't even notice that a psychopath is scared. His brain functions differently, and it is still unknown what is more influenced here - genetics or environment.
Most of us tend to avoid things that make us nervous. Psychopaths don't get nervous at all and so they just keep doing what they want. By the way, it is likely that the desire to feel at least something, at least some echo of the arousal characteristic of other people, makes them try their hand at dangerous activities - including extreme sports and activities on the verge of the criminal code and common sense.
meaning.
Why is it important for us to understand the difference between narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths? First of all, in order not to treat everyone with the same brush, not to stick the same labels on different people. But, perhaps, it is much more important to learn to notice the signs described above in the people around you - firstly, in order to gently push them to seek professional help, and secondly, in order to be vigilant yourself and not suffer.
5 typical methods of influence of narcissists and sociopaths
These people are always present in our environment, and it is up to you how close you allow them to get close to you. If they have already entered your life and settled comfortably there, then pay attention to the following five methods of their "work" with their victims. The manipulations of narcissists and sociopaths may be masterfully veiled at the very beginning, but when you understand their true intentions, it will be quite late.
1.
They use the "bait" Narcissists and sociopaths are masters at "stroking" the egos of their victims at the right time. They wrap you in their care and attention and lull your vigilance with compliments. In other words, they wave the "bait" in front of your nose so that you dutifully follow them. Whatever promises they make to you, it's just a web of lies to pull you into their toxic and twisted world. As long as you are completely engrossed in your relationships (of whatever type), they are already busy launching their claws at other victims.
2. They figure out what you most want, then deprive you of that "object" or give it to someone else
manipulate others and hurt them. They like to find out what you want and pretend they can give it to you. Then, when you least expect deception, they will give this, relatively speaking, “object” to someone else. Maybe it's the promise of marriage, children, a future together, or even something as simple as a picture together or relationship status on social media.
Whatever the case, once they find out about your desires, they use them as bait to hook you and then trample you.
3. They use emotional language even though they themselves do not experience emotions
Narcissists and sociopaths tend to use emotional language to manipulate their victims. It's their way of trying to appear more "human". They will exclaim how they love spending time with you. They will cry crocodile tears about how much they miss you and cannot live without you. And they will no doubt “reuse” you as soon as they see that you still have something of value left for them. Sociopaths talk a lot and use more emotional words in an attempt to gain attention and admiration. They know how to play on other people's emotions and they are masters of manipulation. They themselves practically do not experience emotions, and the phrase “I love you” is just as neutral for them as the phrase “pass me the salt.”
4. They create imaginary scenarios out of nothing to blame you for them
A sociopath is a pathological liar.
He will lie only for his own pleasure. These people literally have fun, shifting the blame to others and joyfully watching how they are forced to defend themselves against unfounded accusations. This method ensures that the "target" is on edge, nervous and wasting his energy trying to justify himself and losing confidence. Sociopaths lie for the sake of lying to see if they can fool people. And they, by the way, are very sweet and charming, up to the possession of powerful charisma. Blaming is a fun game for sociopaths, especially towards those they envy. They love to create their scenarios out of thin air and then categorically claim that all the blame for this scenario lies with their "victim".
5. They blame you for asking too much of them and almost never go out of your way
Toxic people love to blame their victims for asking too much of them. Although, in fact, the victims are only asking for decency and respect. You may have begged such a narcissist or sociopath to do you some tiny favor, and once he's done it (with minimal effort), he starts behaving like he pulled you out of a burning building.
