How to beat your addiction

Drug addiction is not a weakness, it is a disease. Its physical and mental effects can be overcome, but this requires constant work on oneself

This is a loss of control over use

A person may decide to start [using] one substance, end up with another, he overdose. Or used so much that he was caught. He does not control the process and consequences of use. A person loses what is important to him, and instead spends time, money, effort on use. He uses the substance to "treat" the effects of the substance.

Sasha Livergant: This is a vicious circle.

EU: A person with a chemical addiction, in order not to break down, will use the substance that led him to such a state.

PM: Do drug and alcohol addictions have the same nature or are there some specifics?

EU: There are different receptors, but [in both cases] this is a breakdown of the brain, a very serious part of it - the center that determines a person's activity: what he is afraid of, what he strives for. First dysfunction, then organic disorders in the brain that cannot be corrected. But a person can recover. If he takes certain actions to keep the addiction in check, he will be well.

PM: There is an idea that socially disadvantaged people are inclined to use, or, conversely, people of creative professions, is that true? Are there those who are more or less addicted?

Dmitry Markov: I often visited the centers. There were girls with rhinoplasty (you don’t expect to see them there), those who are undergoing treatment according to the court ... There are probably prerequisites and situations, but anyone can be there.

Dmitry Markov

EU: Indeed, there are certain predispositions, and the environment is one of them. If it's an environment where many people use, then it's more likely that the person will start using.

SL: What role does the material part play?

EU: None.

DM: If you have a company and you use, all this can be solved.

PM: It is believed that in Russia there was a wave of drug addiction in the 90s. People [changed] their habitual way of life, they were looking for consolation.

EU: Indeed, people lost their bearings and did not know where to go.

PM: And what is happening with the use now?

JM: I'm currently looking at youngsters who are eating salt.

I think they are past the stage of pink use, high. They immediately start to go crazy

This is a pure psychosis, a feeling of impending death. After six months of substance use, they receive a psychiatric diagnosis.

SL: In addition to the usual means, new ones appear that give a different effect, and you need to think about how to deal with it?

DM: It seemed to me that these last connections had one purpose - that a person would not cry from them.

EU: Was heroin easier to deal with? Look how much lies in the cemetery. I think drug addiction is a challenge and should be resisted.

From the outside, drug addiction is a disease, but from the inside, it looks like hunger. You can usually live with it, but this feeling can rise up like a hunger that needs to be satisfied immediately. It forces a person to do something that he did not intend to.

Ekaterina Savina

SL: I wonder why no one explains how it works.

PM: When I was at school, they constantly told me how terrible everything would be.

JM: At school, all information is based on intimidation.

EU: Young people are not afraid of death.

PM: Do I understand correctly that different drugs work differently? Something you can use and stop, but something you can’t get off?

EU: People try different drugs before they get hooked on one. Maybe it has to do with the chemistry in the head, with the character. But there are no "easy" and "good" drugs.
Marijuana is so addictive that it will overtake heroin. I've had guys who were addicted to heroin treated, their father smoked weed. Since they were recovering, it was necessary that there were no drugs around. But the father could not [give up marijuana] until the death of his eldest son. And when we buried him, my father smoked weed, although he understood that it cost him dearly. It's a hallucinogen, only in small doses. And if it is taken long enough, the effect will be the same as LSD, people go crazy.

SL: When should you be scared?

EU: When problems arise. When relatives worry about it, when problems arise at work, when you start to feel bad in the morning. In general, drugs are a crime. If you are willing to risk your freedom to consume, it makes sense to think.

Dmitry Markov, Ekaterina Savina

DM: I think I really need the help of others. Opinion from the outside, the opinion of loved ones can help to rethink reality. I had a denial process for a long time. I came to groups, compared myself with others, and it seemed that everything was fine.

SL: Who helped you?

DM: My loved ones, I heard them. It is clear that you are embarking on a path of resistance. It will be a difficult process, but this is the moment when you can help a loved one.

PM: Those stories that I know - a person stops only when life breaks down. How to get him out of this?

DM: Not everyone will succeed. Many people need to step on the rake themselves.

EU: It would be nice if relatives came to the consultation first. Usually it starts with them, we help them to act correctly, then you can avoid falling down.

SL: I see that something is wrong with a loved one, I take him to a specialist. He went under my pressure. Will it be effective?

EU: Partly. A specialist can explain those things that now do not reach.

SL: Have you been like this?

DM: A consultant is a person who has already gone through the path of recovery, so he treats with understanding. He can pick up the words. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have quit.

PM: Let's talk about how the state rehabilitation system works and does it even exist?

DM: Once they refused to let me into the Pskov dispensary. I ran away from treatment - this is a common story. Once, the second, the third, and the fourth is not allowed. You seem to have made a 100% decision.

PM: How often do people interrupt treatment and leave the rehabilitation center?

JM: It's different for everyone. I was not in the army, I was not in prison, it was hard for me in a closed room. You can’t get drugs there, and the brain is looking for a reason to get out: listen to music, chat with friends, work. You go out and think: "That's it, never again." And then again.

SL: And if you have nowhere else to go, then you won't decide to quit, right?

JM: You are going to paid [rehabilitation].

EU: Rehabilitation is possible even if there is no money.

This is the system. You will be taken to narcological dispensaries and hospitals almost without any certificates and will be given a course of detoxification. The problem is they don't do much psychiatric diagnosis. They don't do much for a person to stay and complete the course.

There is a system of rehabilitation in Moscow and St. Petersburg, this system was made by people with addiction themselves - as long as they were allowed to. Then social workers began to deal with rehabilitation, they made it meaningless and reduced the time. In Moscow, the center, where people recovered well, is now breathing its last.

SL: How long is the detox period?

EU: Three days to two weeks.

There are delayed effects that also need to be treated - liver, heart, psyche. Personality disorder needs to be treated with drugs. And after that comes a long process when a person tries not to use and live well.

SL: Dima, can you tell us how this happens?

JM: After detox, you go to the center and live permanently with three dozen of the same guys. There is a strict regime: lifting, classes, cleaning. We each had our own function: someone watered the flowers ... Basically, the work was written. It is necessary to prescribe the details and details of life and its comprehension.

EU: In order to think about yourself, you must be with a pen in your hands. And for this you do not need to be a writer, write essays at school.

After rehabilitation, it is important to go to groups of anonymous addicts. There is a program of "twelve steps" - an absolutely free path, open to everyone. If a person has used, he will not be given the floor, but he can listen.

SL: Are you in a band for the rest of your life?

EU: I think so.

Recovery needs to be “fed”

I am not inclined to tell a person who leaves the center that he is going to use. There are different cases. He needs to go to anonymous meetings. I would like him to come back because he has to finish his work with himself.

We do not remake it, it is unique, this is its life. But the process of his [introspection] needs to be helped.

SL: What other ways are there to [not go back to using after rehab]? Immerse yourself in work, in raising children?

EU: All this does not work. Even if a person does not use drugs, his life becomes very narrow, squeezed. The hobby becomes a substitution.

The second effective way is church rehabilitation. But if the twelve-step program is open to anyone, then the church program is more likely for a believer who has experience in church life and understands where he is going, must agree to be baptized and pray. Church rehabilitation presupposes a path to repentance, a system of communion, service, and a near-monastic way of life. In this process, the soul can also be restored.

PM: We started talking about private clinics. There is an opinion that they are aimed at taking away a relative from the family and making him pay money. It seems that these are not the people who want to help, they need a business. And there is? Or are there few?

EU: There are a lot of them.

Ekaterina Savina

DM: I have no opinion on this matter. I came across stories when the guys were extended [rehabilitation] for a long time. But there is, for example, a grandmother who saw such things in her grandson's use that she is ready for anything so that this does not happen again. Centers give hope.

EU: I don't think the medical business is good. The initial intention of the doctor is to help and save lives. If money becomes the main thing, disgrace begins.

I know centers where they want to keep patients for the maximum period, impose services and are ready to do anything. Even there there are good doctors and consultants. But as a system, business in medicine is a temptation for doctors.

In fact, the rehabilitation process is a very expensive thing. You need to rent a cottage, pay wages, taxes, and support all this. This is paid either by the state, or the church, or relatives of those who lie there.

DM: I think when the price tag is 30-50 thousand per month, it's not that much money.

EU: I know centers for both 150 and 300 thousand per month. It's not about the price tag, but about the main thing in this clinic.

There are rehabilitation centers where there are no professional people. They will keep the patient in a closed institution, press him in various ways, from beatings to sophisticated psychological outrages. They will inspire him that he should also be grateful for this.

A person cannot be held against their will, it is against the law, and all organizations that do this violate the law

PM: Is this area somehow regulated if we know what the recovery process should look like?

EU: Unfortunately, our legislation has failed to do this. OMON arrives, opens the doors [of an unscrupulous center], lets people out (some do not leave). The center opens on a nearby street under a different name.

PM: When you apply to a medical institution, are you registered? I heard that you can lose your driver's license, and for many people this is a way to earn money.

JM: Well, that's not bad, I guess. I would not want people to roll around the streets who can get stuck behind the wheel and knock someone down.

Registration makes sense. I am registered. It disciplines you.

EU: You can stay registered for three years and withdraw from it if you regularly go to the dispensary and take tests.

See also How to recognize addiction and start rehabilitation?

Indeed, you must not drive or take a weapon while intoxicated. But registration is a black base, which can then be used by special services. However, if you choose between death and registration, you must choose registration. You can take it off and live happily.

SL: What should a person who is looking for a rehabilitation center for their loved one do?

EU: Ask a specialist. Our "Zebra" is already 25 years old, we teach consultants, we travel around the country. Through personal experience with the centers we know who is who. We can recommend.

SL: If I don't know about the Zebra Center and go, for example, to a polyclinic, won't they give me a list there?

EU: No, you have to google it.

If you ask specialists for advice, it should be free. So that I do not receive money for sending people to a certain center. This is the ethics of the profession.

PM: There is no way to check this.

EU: There is no way to check this.

PM: To what extent does public opinion and attitudes towards drug users exacerbate the situation? When a person needs help, but society refuses.

DM: Not everyone understands that this is a disease. I often write on instagram, sheets of stories come, but I feel uncomfortable, because I understand that people have no one else to write to.

People don't understand what to do. Many worry about anonymity

SL: Because of the stigma, few people talk about it publicly and admit that they have gone through this path. It seems to me that the more people will talk about it openly, the more people will find it easier to look towards recovery.

JM: Another stigma begins here. They wrote about Yuri Dudya that [his interview contains] drug propaganda. This topic came up in an interview with Morgenstern and me. I sit and think about how not to blurt out something. I have a desire to help in my head, but someone perceives it differently.

Dmitry Markov

PM: I am very touched by the issue of propaganda legislation. It sounds like information about how which drugs work can be considered propaganda. It seems to me that when information is open, it does better.

EC: A person can recover from any point in their addiction. All he needs is to be curious enough. He needs to come and see with his own eyes how people recover, how the rehabilitation center works, talk to those who are recovering. In normal centers everything is open. If he has curiosity, then he chooses between what he saw.

DM: I am glad that more and more meetings and conversations are devoted to this topic. It works for destigmatization.

Even more important news and good texts from us and our colleagues - in the telegram channel "Takikh Del." Subscribe!

drug addiction

“The only way to overcome addiction is to live happily”

Know yourself A man among people

How to understand when “just a hobby” turns into addiction? If a child succeeds at school, attends clubs, finds time for hobbies, communicates with friends, performs household chores, but at the same time sometimes “freezes” in a smartphone, the gadget in this case acts only as a pleasant application to life. But if studies begin to suffer, interest in former hobbies is lost, parents should think about it.

In an addict, everything is subject to the subject of addiction, whether it is a substance, a game, or a relationship with another person. The habitual rhythm is broken: a person spends more and more time on the “object of passion”, cutting off the hours of sleep, work, self-care. The social circle is changing. Passionately passionate about something or someone, it is as if drawn into another reality. And now we have another person in front of us - closed, irritable, and sometimes aggressive.

Adults change - children absorb

“The strongest motivation to work on yourself is in dependent people,” explains psychologist Natalya Pyzhyanova. “Perhaps they achieve tangible results, because they are simply forced to learn how to live a quality life. Addiction is always next to them - a chronic, progressive, fatal disease, and they know that if nothing is done about it, one of three scenarios awaits them: prison, hospital, or death. So adults have to learn skills that are quite natural for most: listen to yourself and talk about your feelings, plan actions and analyze actions, build close relationships, take care of yourself and others.

And when adults learn this, it doesn't go unnoticed for the children nearby. The results of this process are clearly visible in children's groups: the guys are less anxious, freely and naturally talk about their feelings. “Dad said to speak, and I speak,” explains 15-year-old Svetlana. Her dad is a recovering drug addict, the term of “purity”, as addicts say among themselves, is 9 years. And Sveta freely, stunning other children and adults who are not accustomed to this, shares her feelings in class: she is offended that someone made a caustic comment about an unsuccessful drawing, she is annoyed if they interrupt all the time and do not let her finish her thought.

You can talk honestly with children about this disease - its manifestations, symptoms and predisposition

Children usually know that their parents are addicts. Honesty with oneself and with others is one of the basic conditions for recovery. Then there is no “skeleton in the closet” in the family - a secret that everyone knows about, but does not say out loud. When this is a well-known fact, there is much less tension in the family and children perceive their parents' "feature" as a disease, which is true. “Then you can talk honestly with children about this disease - its manifestations, symptoms and predisposition,” explains Natalya Pyzhyanova. “Many recovering parents bring their children to prevention groups because they understand that they have every chance of becoming addicted. Yes, and parents themselves are happy to come to our classes - they play with each other and with children, share experiences and feelings.

Rules of a real family

Children especially like the so-called “Family Councils”, when parents sit down with them at the table and listen to their opinion on various issues. Respect for others is learned in groups - there is a whole set of rules that are especially useful in family relationships. You can’t interrupt, evaluate, criticize, advise when they don’t ask - you can only talk about yourself and your feelings. Thirteen-year-old Marina tells how dad gathers the whole family and everyone carefully listens to the opinion of each, even the youngest member. “Such an experience will help Marina grow confident that her position is valuable, and she will be listened to attentively, even if she does not agree with her opinion.”

“Family Council” is one example of family rules. Family rules are another innovation that is coming to co-dependent families. Usually these rules are written down and spoken out with the participation of a specialist when a person is discharged from a rehabilitation center. Different nuances are important for each family, but there are basic universal points.

There is no need to immerse yourself in virtual reality, because the real one is warm and interesting

Everyone should have something to do. It can be work, study and a feasible contribution to the common economy. If you establish such a rule, it is unlikely that someone from the household will be outraged why he should wash the dishes or throw out the trash.

You need to warn about being late. In a recovering family, they take care of each other: they warn about being late, help and support when someone has difficulties.

It is important to spend some time together. Spending time together is also part of caring for each other, a mandatory contribution to the family, prescribed in the rules. In such families, children are less prone to gambling addiction: there is no need to immerse yourself in virtual reality, because the real one is warm and interesting. There is no need to run away from difficulties - there are always those to whom you can turn for help, and they will not scold you, but help you.

Respect your own and others' boundaries. In such a family, boundaries are clearly delineated - both personal and boundaries of ownership and responsibility. Co-dependent families are characterized by “merging” expressions, for example: “Our name is Lesha, we are 18 years old, we broke down and now we want to be treated. ” This will not happen in recovering families: the responsibility and boundaries of each are clear and transparent: “If you need help, contact me, I will help, but I won’t do something instead of you, not because I don’t love you, but because it’s useless and even harmful.

What about emotions?

Another important skill of addicts and co-dependents is the ability to deal with emotions. Rigid guidelines for dealing with feelings: “only hysterics cry”, “only cowards are afraid” - come from childhood. Emotions are suppressed, but then they certainly break out, at the most unexpected and inopportune moment, and fall on the one who is at hand - more often it is someone weaker, for example, a child. Part of the cure is to teach both children and adults to navigate the rich palette of emotions, learn to identify them in themselves, and live in an eco-friendly way.

Recovering addicts and co-dependents clearly know that when emotions are overwhelming, the mind shuts down and it doesn’t take long to mess things up. "to give motherly duty" to children. Usually it ended sadly: I broke down on them, then blamed myself, and this happened every time. Now Nadezhda, feeling that she is on the edge, explains to the children that while her mother does not have the opportunity to be with them, she needs to take care of herself. And then he calls on his grandmother or someone who is ready to help, kisses the children (there is strength for this!) And runs to the group, from where he returns an hour and a half later, still tired, but much more calm and balanced. There they listened to her, supported her, gave her tea, maybe even hugged her. You can live on!

“Most importantly, children understand that their mother gets annoyed and leaves not because they are bad, but because she is not in the best shape today and she needs to rest,” comments Natalya Pyzhyanova. “Children learn that it’s okay to be tired, irritable, sad. What matters is what you do with those feelings. Recovering addicts and co-dependents clearly know: when emotions overwhelm, the mind turns off and it doesn’t last long, so you need to urgently seek help. This mechanism is well-established - there is usually a list of phone numbers that you can call in a difficult situation and get support.

Stop! Are you hungry or tired?

Psychologists working with addictions have another effective rule - HALT!, which is translated from English as "stop". “However, in the context of our rule, this word is used more like a military command “stop,” says Natalya Pyzhyanova. - This is an abbreviation, and it stands for simply: H (hungry) - hungry, A (angry) - angry, L (lonely) - lonely, T (tired) - tired. The message is: “Stop! Check if you are tired, not hungry, not angry, not alone?

There are recommendations for each of these points: hungry - eat, angry - ask for support, go in for sports or meditate

If one of these needs is not satisfied, there is a direct danger of a breakdown. For recovering addicts, this self-care is one of the cornerstones of recovery. For them, it is obvious that, for example, it is dangerous to work 12 hours a day, it is harmful to be alone with your problems, exhaust yourself with hunger and shout at your subordinates in anger. There are recommendations for each of these points: hungry - eat, angry - ask for support, go in for sports or meditate. You went into isolation and don't want to see anyone - call someone or go to a group, if you're tired - take a break.

A useful skill that is important to master is to plan the day according to your abilities and in the evening praise yourself for what you have done, and analyze and take into account the failures in the next planning.

Find someone to help

Another good rule for getting out of addiction and codependency: "When you feel bad, find someone who needs your help and help him." This allows you to stop “cooking” in your reality and start acting, taking on the role of an adult, responsible person and moving away from the regressive role of “poor, unfortunate”, to whom everyone owes.

In fact, all of the above moments are the process of growing up, during which a person begins to take responsibility for himself, his life and for the life of those around him.

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