How to be popular as an introvert

Are You An Introvert? 8 Ways To Make Introversion Your Superpower

Are you an introvert? Let’s dive into the definition of an introvert and how to leverage your introverted personality.

What is an introvert: Introverts tend to be more quiet and reserved. They seek solitude and prefer introspection to socializing.

However, introversion is a spectrum. All of our personality traits fall on a spectrum. Where do you think you fall?

But what does each label mean? Let’s review the difference between an introvert, extrovert and ambivert:

  • Introvert: Someone who gets energy from solo time and focuses more on internal feelings rather than on external sources of stimulation.
  • Ambivert: Someone who can exhibit qualities of both introversion and extroversion depending on the situation, mood and people they are with.
  • Extrovert: Someone who loves being around people, gets energy from socializing and feels confident with new people.

If you aren’t sure, you could try looking in the mirror. We can tell a lot about someone’s personality from their face. This fascinating study did a drawing of two typical faces:

Most people don’t realize that much of our personality is genetic — in other words, personality is not a choice. You can’t just decide to be more extroverted one day.

This is a headache for many introverts.

Parents send them to camp and say: “Just be more friendly.”

Networking experts say, “Build your network and meet as many people as possible.”

Asking an introvert to be more outgoing is like asking them, “Please don’t be yourself.”

No more.

It’s time to use your introversion to your advantage instead of trying to change it.

Are You

Really an Introvert?

Not sure if the introvert label really fits you? Have you ever felt like an outgoing introvert? Or a social introvert? You might be an ambivert. Take our free quiz to verify:

Take the Quiz

Ok, did our quiz find you are definitely an introvert? Great! Read on for how to harness your power:

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Your Incredible World View

Introverts have a different way of perceiving the world — and this is a huge advantage. The best example is in the classic ‘lemon juice experiment.’

“Introverts were found to salivate more than extroverts when a drop of lemon juice was placed on their tongue. The researchers theorized that introverts get triggered easily by their surroundings because they naturally possess higher level of arousal, which is why they prefer less intensive activities such as reading and writing rather than partying. Their preoccupation with their own thoughts is also what separates them from the crowd. Such “inward-orientedness” makes introverts unique souls with much to offer for the world which others often unwittingly overlook.” – Michael Poh

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An Introverted Superpower

Studies have found that introverts are more humble than extroverts. Humility is an incredibly important — and hard to learn trait. It makes introverts more perceptive, more open and less bogged down by ego.

Humility is also associated with the desire to be of service to others.

This makes introverts wonderful leaders, managers and friends.

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Why Introverts Make Amazing Leaders

When you ask someone to think of a highly charismatic person, they will often conjure up an image of a booming extrovert. But charisma comes in many flavors. In fact, introverted traits are very well suited to successful leadership roles. Here’s why:

  • Introverts are wonderful observers. You pick up on social nuances, hidden emotions and team dynamics better than anyone. Don’t take this superpower for granted!
  • When you speak, people listen. Since you tend to think carefully before speaking and use your words carefully, people take you seriously. Don’t ever feel pressured to engage in inane chit chat or make throw away comments to appease others. Speak when you are ready.
  • Your quiet power is contagious.

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Optimize Your Introversion

Don’t let anyone ever tell you to change your introversion–it’s SUCH an advantage. However, it is important for introverts to optimize their introversion for strength.

  • Know exactly how you recharge. Have a big event coming up? Need a refresh? What do you do? Get your pre and post social routine down so you are in control.
  • Find the perfect wingman. Who can be a great social partner for you? Will a friendly extrovert help you break into a crowd or overpower every conversation? Will a fellow introvert be a good partner in crime but discourage meeting new people? Can you find an ambivert to balance you out? Find your best event and socializing partner.
  • Level up your body language…

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Body Language for Introverts

You might not realize it, but even when you are not speaking, your body is saying something. Introverts need to be especially adept at nonverbal communication — both reading cues and sending cues. Here is a quick overview of some body language tips for introverts:

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Tips for Introverts at Work

Have you noticed that many companies are switching to large open workspaces? This can be very hard for introverts. I interviewed my introverted colleague Shelly O’Donovan to get some great tips for introverts:

In a 2015 study by Oseland, it was confirmed that people who scored highly for introversion and neuroticism were more affected by noise than people who scored low on either variable. In this study, when all participants were asked specifically how noise affects the ability to work, a significant three-quarters of the respondents reported that they are negatively affected by noise in their workplace. Only 10% of participants thought that acoustics in their workplace had a positive effect on their performance. In addition, there are many studies that show that your choice in working environment is required to suit different activities and personalities. What can you do?

  • Aim for flexibility. If you are a leader in this environment, consider some freedom for your employees. Not everyone thrives in an open environment. Some will get distracted; some will be distractors, while others will flourish. Knowing who needs what is key. As an employee, approach your manager, and in a positive manner ask for some flexibility and explain why you need it. Introverts tend to be thinkers; they often need quiet spaces to contemplate and to crank out work. While extroverts think out loud, they often talk through something before they pen it. This means that introverts could struggle in an open environment if they are not given that flexibility. Flexibility could mean work from home days each week, privacy pods to take calls from or to think through projects, or the ability to use the resources available in the community. One open space organization is championing flexility by allowing its workers to go to the library next door when they need to research a project–not because the library has resources–but because it is quiet.
  • Take care of yourself. Introverts require some quiet time to recharge while extroverts require socialization to recharge. As an introvert, you need that time. For someone who is in that open environment all day, coming home to a busy house or a second job at night can be overwhelming. Build in quiet time for yourself. This could mean spending two hours in open space and then hiding away for 10 minutes in a quiet corner of the cafeteria while you recharge your battery. It could mean that you turn off the radio on your drive home and have some quiet car time or sit in your car at lunch for a break. Take care of yourself and give yourself that time to decompress.
  • Ask to have quiet times. Noise can cause distraction at work. Set aside a few key slots during your day to find a quiet place to work. If you can disappear into a pod for an hour or two you can accomplish amazing amounts of work because you have the peace and quiet to focus on it.
  • Shift your hours. Could you shift your hours an hour or so in either direction? It may not be possible, although if you can, you may be able to get into the office early and start working before it is full. This will give you that quiet time you need to properly focus.
  • Don’t eat at your desk. You need a break from that open environment and lunch is the perfect time. Lunch with a friend outside the office can help you recharge, or go for a walk or a ride in your car. Just sit in a quiet place and recharge! Thriving in any environment means taking care of yourself. It is important to know your personality and what you need to make it work. Give yourself permission to figure that out.

Are you managing introverts or many different personality types? Learn how to be a good manager based on personality!

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How Introverts Can Be Heard in Meetings

Do you dread meetings? Introverts sometimes dread the open cattle call of meetings — having to brainstorm out loud, being randomly called on or being forced into icebreakers (even if they are non-awkward).

A classic introvert preference is an aversion to meetings. It may seem justified by the fact that the introvert skill set – one-on-one interaction, confidence to work alone, research and contemplation skills – does not lend itself to a conference room scenario. However, a truly professional introvert will learn to capitalize on those skills not just in their natural habitat, but in apparently unsuitable contexts such as the business meeting. Here’s the problem:

Not knowing how to excel in the meeting process is holding back your career.

I asked my introverted friend G. John Cole to give me some tips for introverts in meetings. Here’s what he said:

  • Form opinions in advance. As an introvert, you should aim to get your best thinking done before you even enter the room. Get hold of the agenda early, research the topics and the stats, and prepare some thoughts and ideas. You’ll find it much easier to cut in ahead of your outgoing colleagues if you have the confidence to state your take, and the material to back it up.
  • Be first to the meeting room. Build your confidence by getting used to the sound of your voice before you get started. Go over your ideas with a friend or partner so you get to hear them out loud. And show up early for the meeting so that you can build trust with your colleagues face-to-face as they arrive, instead of dreading that moment in the meeting when everyone notices you for the first time.
  • Engage at your own pace. You can build confidence and have a meaningful impact upon the outcome of a meeting by speaking up early. If you get a chance to introduce the meeting or present some research while the mood is still being set, you can create a framework within which your colleagues can develop your ideas. Speak up early – but don’t allow yourself to be rushed. Your mind operates how it operates, and if you’re pressed for a quick response from a colleague who is interested in – or critical of – your idea, responding before you’re ready may end up in disaster.
  • Ask for more time if needed. If you are rushed to give your opinion, calmly state that you need a moment to think, that you’ll get back to them shortly, or that you need to look into the matter after the meeting.
  • Follow up afterwards. Your meeting game doesn’t end with the scraping of chairs and the rush for the coffee machine. You’re an introvert, right? There’s important work to be done from the security of your desk. You can capitalize on that summing-up technique from the end of the meeting by sending out minutes and follow-up emails where appropriate. Don’t make a habit of saving your ideas until the meeting’s over, but if a bit of post-meeting research opens up a fresh angle on your take then by all means share it. It may take you a while to digest new information from the meeting, so if a colleague made a point that you found interesting consider meeting up with them one-on-one to develop the thought further.

Want to get to know your fellow colleagues? Read up on Ambiverts and Extroverts.

Remember: There is no right or wrong personality type. The only right thing to do is to leverage your natural strengths. Your introversion is a gift, never forget it!

14 Simple Ways to be Happy as an Introvert

What is an introvert?

11 Challenges Introverts May Face

14 Ways to be Happy as an Introvert

Further Exploration – Articles & Media

Your Take – Comments

What is an Introvert?

An introvert is a personality type, the opposite to an extrovert. They are generally people who are quiet, thoughtful, reserved and sometimes reticent. They prefer focussing on their own inner thoughts and ideas rather than reacting to external stimuli. They prefer calm situations and environments and may have a tendency to avoid large social gatherings.

Recognising as an introvert can help in life as it can be the stepping stone to accepting the associated behaviours. The challenges introverts face and 14 ways to be happy as an introvert below.

“Silence is a source of great strength”

John Lennon

11 Challenges Introverts May Face

In a world where extroverts speak louder, introverts may face a number of challenges. Some of the challenges may include;

  1. Not wanting to participate in small talk
  2. Not being able to find alone time
  3. Potential to be anxious around social situations
  4. Feeling a need to avoid social situations
  5. Feeling tired after social gatherings or being in a large group
  6. Having to finding excuses not to accept invites
  7. Avoiding being the centre of attention
  8. Not being understood as an introvert by others or being seen as “shy”
  9. Feelings of not being accepted
  10. Being interrupted or talked over
  11. Giving a “negative impression” as others may interpret their behaviour as rude or unwilling to participate 

“Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something”

14 Ways to be happy as an introvert

Introverts may face challenges however they can still lead a fulfilling and experienced life just as any other personality type might do. Ways to be happy as an introvert below and more in further exploration;

  1. Recognise that you may well be an Introvert: It’s just your personality
  2. And There is Nothing Wrong With That
  3. Understand Yourself: Understand your behaviours and beliefs. You might want time alone, you may not want to talk over others or be the centre of attention. You may not want to attend social functions. And that is fine. It’s just the way you are
  4. Focus on Your Strengths: Introverts have many strengths including being good listeners, being able to deeply think things through, being observant and making good friends. Recognise your strengths and play to them.
  5.  Introverts have made huge contributions to the world: Albert Einstein, Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, JK Rowling, Emma Watson, Mark Zuckerberg, Sir Isaac Newton, Steven Spielberg, the list goes on. You’re in good company.
  6. Keep Things Simple: Don’t overcomplicate life with too many social engagements and commitments. Be comfortable with the things you agree to do. Keep things quiet and simple.
  7. Do Make an Effort: Do make an effort to socialise and be around others. Humans are social creatures and need social interactions. Doing so will give you a boost.
  8. Take Time to Relax: Take time to wind down following both social gatherings and just after a general day. The continual thinking often associated with introversion can be tiring.
  9. Enjoy Silence: Don’t always feel the need to try and make small talk. Say things and make contributions when you want to make them
  10. Schedule Alone / Quiet Time: Schedule some time in the day to reflect and think things through 
  11. Be Around Like Minded Others: Have quiet, calm and deep conversations (skip the small talk). 
  12. Surround Yourself With People Who Understand You: Spend time with people who understand you (you’ll know who they are) so you can be you
  13. Look After Yourself: Keeping yourself in good shape, eating and drinking well and exercising will keep your mind and body, and ultimately your mood, in good health.
  14. Speak to Someone: If you are really struggling with some of your introverted ways or people not understanding you, speak to someone. Whether it be a trusted friend or relative or a professional therapist or counsellor, do get help if you need it. A problem shared is truly a problem halved.  

Further Exploration - Articles & Media

Article: 12 Things Introverts Absolutely Need in Life to Be Happy

Article from Introvert Dear (The Award Winning Community For Introverts) looking at 12 ways to be happy including having friends and loved ones who value us despite our quirks & taking space to dive deep into hobbies and interests & myths about introverts. Introvert Dear also has a wealth of other information to help introverts.

Article: Introvert Personality

WebMD article looking at the introvert personality type with information including; what an introvert is, signs you might be one, causes of introversion, types of introversion, introversion vs shyness and myths about introverts

Book: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

Susan Cain's book discussing the rise and prominence of the Extrovert Ideal throughout the twentieth century and how we can dramatically undervalue introverts and how much we lose in doing so.
***This is one of the few affiliate links on Peaceful Soul***

Forum: What is the hardest thing about being an introvert?

Forum on Quora with over 60 answers discussing issues such as relationship problems but also looking at the positive side of being an introvert including being a good listener and being in touch with themselves

Video: How To Be Popular As An Introvert

The Charisma on Command Youtube channel looks at introvert leaning Keanu Reeves and his popularity as an introvert. Reasons include always giving praise to others and exuding a zen-like presence.

Article: 11 Simple Ways to Make an Introvert Happy

11 simple ways to make an introvert happy in an on article Medium by Anastasia Shch. Suggestions include giving them space, letting them speak and respecting their alone time

Article: 4 Ways Introverts Can Super-Charge Their Happiness

4 ways an introvert can super charge their happiness including focussing on strengths and socialising selectively

Article: Common Life Challenges of an Introvert

4 common life challenges of an introvert from Success Story including having to hang out when you want to be alone and not being considered good enough to be leader

Article: Six Key Challenges for Introverts

LinkedIn article by Jennifer Kahnweiler Ph. D. CSP discussing 6 key challenges introverts face at work including difficulty to self-promote and an emphasis on teams

Further Mental Wellbeing Guides from Peaceful Soul

Mind Guides

Click here for the latest guides to enhance mental wellbeing

Your Take

Do you have tips for being happy as an introvert? Your take in the discussion below.

How to become a leader if you are an introvert

March 9, 2021Motivation

Recognize your strengths and learn how to use them correctly.



Just because you're an introvert doesn't mean that you're destined to always play the role of "that weird dude who sits in the corner and is silent." You can be a leader - moreover, you simply have to become one.

The ability to form a team, manage it and set goals, make decisions, take initiative and delegate responsibilities - these skills will sooner or later be needed by any introvert who grows up in his professional field. To get them, you don’t have to do anything supernatural - you already have all the necessary abilities. You just need to apply them correctly. Features of your character can become your advantage.

A leader is perfect when people are unaware of his existence... A good leader doesn't scatter words, and when the job is done and the goal is achieved, people say: "We did it ourselves."

Lao Tzu

Introversion and extraversion are thought to be at opposite poles, but in fact each of us has distinct traits of both types. The main difference between them is that introverts are introverted and pay close attention to their own experiences and sensations, while extroverts look for inspiration in the world around them.

Introverts make excellent leaders, and sociability has nothing to do with it. Their sharp mind, ability to think carefully and analyze, attention to detail and the ability to build stronger and more meaningful relationships with others are important (small conversations are the real curse of any introvert).

Such qualities are fully consistent with the quote from the wise Lao Tzu above. This has also been proven by world-famous introverted leaders who have achieved success due to the peculiarities of their character: Barack Obama, Mark Zuckerberg, Richard Branson and JK Rowling. Susan Cain describes them in her book Silence: The Power of Introverts in a World of Chatting.

Here are five tips to help you reach your goal.

1. Talk about your achievements

Regardless of the quality of the work they do, introverts often remain in the background because they do not want to talk openly about their successes. In the end, the result is important, not the amount of attention attracted, they say.

Introverts are famous for their incredibly meticulous approach to getting work done and their complete disregard for self-promotion.

It's a paradox, but it only makes it harder to move up the career ladder. An introvert needs to figure out what he's really good at and learn how to talk about his accomplishments in order to get the position he deserves.

2. Build deeper and more meaningful relationships with those who make important decisions

A popular misconception is that introverts are timid and asocial people who avoid interacting with others at all costs. In fact, they are energized by being alone with themselves. And at all introverts are not afraid to talk to people, just communication very quickly puts their internal batteries.

What does this mean? It's simple: making new acquaintances, an introvert seeks to give them a deeper character than non-committal chatter. Such is the superpower - he establishes relationships that are remembered for a long time by his interlocutors. By connecting with powerful people in the company and sharing their unique ideas, introverts can stand out from the crowd and succeed.

3. Find interesting solutions to problems through attention to detail and the ability to listen

These are traits common to most introverts. They are used to analyzing everything and delving into themselves, so they easily notice the details of projects missed in a joint discussion and find a way out of situations where, it would seem, there are no ends to be found.

Such qualities make introverts valuable members of any team. They first listen and think, and only then they speak. Use these skills in discussions that involve multiple points of view, and the attention of others to your words will not take long.

4. Embrace solitude, but overcome isolation

Most introverts are only really comfortable with themselves, so they need to spend some time alone during the day to feel good. However, it is equally important to regularly challenge your insularity, if only through situations such as going out to lunch with colleagues or participating more actively in work meetings.

Former Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer—yes, she's also an introvert—has her own way of coping with the discomfort of being in public situations. It establishes a certain period of time before the expiration of which it has no right to leave the event. If by this time it doesn’t get better, you can leave, but not earlier. Forcing herself to sit out the allotted time, Mayer overcame shyness and stiffness. When you know that you only need to hold out for 30-40 minutes, you begin to feel more free and more actively involved in the work.

5. Use the internet to showcase your strengths

Introverts may look a bit shy, but whatever they give up in face-to-face communication, these guys make up for on the internet. They have a much easier relationship with the written word, so it's no surprise that introverts feel like a fish in water on social networks.

That's great, now is the time! A large contact list and the ability to write eloquent letters have never been more effective in convincing people of your abilities and talents.

These tips will help you understand what makes you better than others, find advantages in your character traits and play by your own rules.

Read also 🧐

  • 5 popular myths about introverts and extroverts
  • 4 tips on how to become more confident in communication
  • 5 techniques that will help introverts successfully communicate with the outside world

How an introvert becomes an extrovert: 6 ways

Are there ways for an introvert to become an extrovert? If you prefer to stay inside your world, do not leave your comfort zone, prefer to do your favorite hobby alone at home, rather than having fun in a noisy company, you can rise to another level of socialization and train yourself as an extrovert. 9Ol000

  • Communicate
  • Don't be afraid to ask for help
  • Don't be afraid to talk about your feelings
  • The main signs of extroverts and introverts

    So, an extrovert is a person who easily makes contact with the outside world. He is sociable, friendly, energetic. It is easy for him to meet people. An introvert is its complete opposite. He likes to spend time with himself, he is not inclined to communicate, he hardly makes contact.

    The first information about the division of people into two types appeared at the beginning of the 20th century. She was voiced by the Swiss psychologist and philosopher Carl Jung.

    There are a number of differences between extroverts and introverts.

    Introvert Extrovert
    Focused exclusively on himself and his inner experiences. Communicates actively with others.
    Not sociable, but not reserved. Shows friendliness.
    Restores vitality through loneliness. Doesn't like to be alone because it makes you depressed.
    Communicates only with close people whom he trusts. Has many friends and acquaintances.
    Looks at things from the inside, getting to their essence. Pays attention to everything at once, never comprehending the essence of things.
    Spends a lot of time thinking about the information received. Does not like to analyze and evaluate information, preferring emotions and new impressions.
    It takes very little to get satisfaction from life. Needs variety.

    It turns out that for a successful existence, an extrovert needs people, and an introvert needs only himself.

    Who is better

    It is definitely impossible to answer this question. Both are needed for balance. Therefore, nothing needs to be changed.

    According to Jung, a child is born with a certain set of personality traits. Therefore, an introverted baby may appear in a family of extroverts and vice versa. Living together will not be easy, but no one needs to be retrained. Initially laid down natural data play an important role in human life. If you try to change them, at an older age he may face serious psychological problems. The main sign of such people is self-doubt and, as a result, failure.

    Advantages of each type

    Extroverts have many advantages. This is not only a cheerful disposition of character and the ability to find a common language with all people.

    1. They make good leaders. They easily motivate and lead the team. At the same time, they are an example to follow.
    2. Enjoy all the opportunities that life provides. They are willing to take risks and change.
    3. Extroverts easily adapt to new conditions, enter the work schedule, restore energy.
    4. They have hundreds of acquaintances, they know who to turn to for help or support.
    5. They can boast of a life full of new experiences and pleasant emotions.
    6. Extroverts do not focus on failures, taking them as an opportunity to improve in some way. Thanks to this, they easily cope with stress.

    Despite the fact that introverts avoid communication, they also have a number of advantages:

    1. They meet life's difficulties without panic and anxiety. Nothing will knock the ground out from under their feet.
    2. Thanks to a measured life, introverts are less likely to experience stress and nervous breakdowns. The exception will be cases when you have to communicate with many people at the same time.
    3. People who are prone to introversion devote a lot of time to self-development. Introverts don't want to change the world. They adjust themselves, adapt to it.
    4. Rarely conflict with others. Such people are characterized by emotional stability. Introverts will never speak without first weighing the pros and cons of what they say.

    Another indisputable advantage is the ability to accept other people as they are, to enjoy small things, such as a beautiful flower or the aroma of freshly baked bread.

    How to become an extrovert for an introvert: useful tips

    As mentioned above, attempts to break your character and become an extrovert or vice versa will not lead to anything good. However, you can try to become more sociable. There are a few simple guidelines.

    Do I need to change something

    Before you stop being an introvert, you need to think about whether this is really necessary. Maybe there is no tendency to introversion? Special tests will help to understand this.

    After the personality type is determined, you need to write the desired and real qualities on a blank sheet of paper. Let there be positives in one column and negatives in the other. After that, you can act.

    Find the cause

    Introverts are often traumatized people. It is important to remember what provoked the development of self-doubt, unwillingness to communicate with people around. You need to figure out why you don't want to spend time with anyone but yourself. Psychotherapists can help you do this. You can try to do without them. But here you will need willpower, honesty with yourself and self-control.

    Get out of your comfort zone

    You don't have to do it by leaps and bounds. Change should be gradual. Haste will provoke the development of anxiety and stress, which, in the end, will greatly affect the result.

    Trying to become an extrovert can be made into a kind of game with several levels of difficulty. For starters, it is recommended to perform simple tasks once a week. This may be doing something that previously seemed inaccessible, or communicating with strangers. It is important to fully control the situation and feel confident.


    Need to make new acquaintances. It is desirable that these are people from different fields. Thanks to this, you can not only socialize, but become a comprehensively developed person. After all, new acquaintances can teach something or share experience.

    If shyness does not allow an introvert to communicate live, you can use a hobby. To do this, you need to create a club of interests. It can be knitting or embroidery, reading or watching and discussing films, yoga or walking. Lots of options. It remains to choose the right one. By the way, this option to become an extrovert can be implemented both in real and virtual life.

    Feel free to ask for help

    The best helpers for introverts are extroverts. Therefore, if there are such people in the circle of friends and acquaintances, you can safely turn to them for help. Most likely, they will easily learn to be sociable and cheerful.

    Don't be afraid to talk about feelings

    Another way for an introvert to become an extrovert.

    Learn more