Help for victims of psychopaths
Aftermath: Surviving Psychopathy Foundation - A non-profit organization providing information and support for victims of psychopathy.
Psychopathy is a personality disorder signified by a pattern of lying, exploitation of others, recklessness, arrogance, sexual promiscuity, low self-control, and lack of empathy for others. Individuals with psychopathic traits appear to lack social emotions (love, empathy, guilt, and remorse). This means that they do not care about other people, feel remorse, or experience guilt … Read more
Categories Frequently Asked QuestionsDr. Angela Book is a Professor in the Department of Psychology, at Brock University, St. Catharines, Ontario, in Canada. She spoke to Dr. David Kosson about her investigations into the possibility that people with psychopathy function as social predators. Some of the topics she addresses include the question of whether people with psychopathy are: 1) good … Read more
Dr. Michael Woodworth, Ph.D., is a Professor in the Department of Psychology at UBC Okanagan in Kelowna, B.C., Canada. In his answers, Dr. Woodworth considers what impact interacting online might have on the ability of people with psychopathic traits to manipulate and deceive others. Further, he discusses some potentially promising findings which point to ways … Read more
Categories Ask the Expert, Psychopathy ResearchLying to Others I don’t really remember exactly when I caught my ex-husband’s first lie, but I do remember as time went on and I got to know him better I noticed that from time to time he would exaggerate when telling stories (if the fish was one foot long it must have been two … Read more
Categories Resources for Victims/SurvivorsDr.
Kosson recently spoke with Ms. Tegan Osmond about psychopathy. In a videotaped interview on her Youtube channel, he discusses: the prevalence of psychopathy versus antisocial personality disorder; the role of genetic and environmental factors in the development of psychopathy subtypes of psychopathy; maladaptive coping in people with psychopathy; and the impact of psychopathic traits … Read more
It could also be a book you read or a movie you saw. We are seeking your nominations for the Aftermath Foundation Media Award. This award is given to recognize outstanding contributions to understanding psychopathy in documentaries, videos, books, and audio presentations. This year’s award will recognize media published or presented between 2016 and 2022. … Read more
Categories Aftermath Foundation News, AwardsSummary by Jennifer Pink and Dr.
Nicola Gray Posting humiliating or intimate material involving a partner, snooping on their personal communications and sending them threatening messages are all forms of Cyber Dating Abuse. As the psychological ramifications of cyber dating abuse are substantial, researchers are working to understand the emotional responses and personality traits associated … Read more
© 2022 Aftermath: Surviving Psychopathy Foundation. All Rights Reserved.
Frequently Asked Questions Archives - Aftermath: Surviving Psychopathy Foundation
Psychopathy is a personality disorder signified by a pattern of lying, exploitation of others, recklessness, arrogance, sexual promiscuity, low self-control, and lack of empathy for others. Individuals with psychopathic traits appear to lack social emotions (love, empathy, guilt, and remorse).
This means that they do not care about other people, feel remorse, or experience guilt … Read more
Individuals with psychopathic traits are often attracted to affinity groups – religious, political or social groups of people who share common values, beliefs or interests. The collective trust that members of these groups have in one another and their common belief system provides a perfect cover for the person with psychopathy. The psychopath has an … Read more
Categories Frequently Asked QuestionsPsychopathy and narcissistic personality disorder are separate psychiatric disorders that have slightly overlapping symptoms.
Sociopathy, however, is an older, outdated term for what is now called psychopathy. Unfortunately, the differentiation of these widely-used terms has caused much confusion among the general public and mental health professionals alike. Part of the problem lies not in differentiating … Read more
Many individuals with psychopathic features are opportunists who seek to take whatever they can from those around them, viewing others as merely a source of “supply.” If they detect something in someone they find interesting or that can help them achieve their agenda in some way, that person has the potential to become a victim. … Read more
Categories Frequently Asked QuestionsSeveral researchers have examined qualities in children and adolescents that serve to differentiate psychopathic youth from their peers.
Frick posited that children who exhibit both conduct problems and callous/unemotional traits are most similar to adult psychopaths (Frick & Marsee, 2006). Research findings by Lynam (1996) identified a subset of children with both conduct problems and … Read more
Remarkably little is known about the extent to which psychopathic individuals are aware of their condition (have insight). There are cases in which psychopathic individuals have reported that they are psychopathic or sociopathic and have even rattled off a list of core features of psychopathy. However, classical clinical descriptions of psychopathic individuals emphasize their lack … Read more
Categories Frequently Asked Questions Tags aware, insight, psychopath, self-awareness© 2022 Aftermath: Surviving Psychopathy Foundation.
All Rights Reserved.
How to deal with psychopaths
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- Category: Articles on psychiatry
Psychopaths are people who prey on other people. These are "wolves in sheep's clothing" that gradually suck out of you self-esteem, strength and means, and then do the same to others - endlessly, until death.
It is very difficult to be sure that the person you are dealing with is really a psychopath.
Because in everyday life we are used to calling psychopaths sociopaths, as well as people with narcissistic or antisocial personality disorders, excitable tantrums, people with asthenic disorders, and some others. Diagnosing such a plan can be difficult. Why? Because you are most likely a sincere and kind person who believes that other people are good too. It can be extremely difficult to accept the idea that the person you trusted is not really who he seems.
When dealing with a psychopath,
You must maintain inner strength and honor.
Accept the fact that you have a psychopath in front of you, and be prepared for what awaits you ahead. Please don't confuse a psychopath with a serial killer. Undoubtedly, psychopathic serial killers are the subject of the vast majority of newspaper and magazine articles and television broadcasts. However, severe cases occur at a rate of approximately one in 30,000. Most psychopaths prefer to live without being discovered.
No contact
The most important thing you must understand is that you must stop all contact with the psychopath. It's easy to say, but much harder to do. Of course, the difficulty of breaking off a relationship with a psychopath directly depends on how seriously you managed to get bogged down in a relationship. If your romance was fleeting, the breakup will be almost painless. If you're having an affair with a business partner, breaking up will require a tougher stance. The decision to cut contact with a psychopath is only the first step, and this decision will not be worth a penny if you do not take effective measures to actually reduce any means of communication and interaction with this human predator.
Keep your decision private
Use stealth technology. This means that you must be very careful and keep your plan to end the relationship with the psychopath a deep secret. Don't try to confront or influence a psychopath with a group of people. This will have long-term unpleasant consequences for you.
You may feel compelled to warn those around you that the person next to you is a psychopath... for God's sake, don't! The sad truth is that psychopaths have a genius at juggling facts and masterful counterattacks, and these counterattacks target your weaknesses and shortcomings. A sudden counterattack will leave you wondering: "What happened? Why am I being attacked?" What happened is that you are a good guy who didn't want others to get hurt like you did. Have you tried to open your eyes? Congratulations, now everyone can see that you are actually very bad.
Arrange support for yourself
Because you need it. You should find a professional - a psychologist, lawyer or doctor - who has experience dealing with psychopaths.
You will need someone to be by your side in helping you stay mentally and physically healthy, because if the psychopath is not willing to let you go in peace, really ugly things will happen. You may think that your friends will be a good support for you ... it will come as a complete surprise to you that if your psychopath foresaw this, then he or she may have already worked with your friends, spreading false stories about you, so besides the time you contact them... they will be sure that you are the psychopath of the two of you (although, of course, they will be afraid to tell you this to your face). So your friends, of course, can be the best support system... if your psychopath has not already worked with them, and has not released a dose of poison on you.
Protect yourself
Protect your assets. Psychopaths completely drain their victims, and it's not just about the emotional state, but about everything else that you have, including money, power, social status or reputation, as well as any other property.
If a psychopath sees in you a threat to his well-being and an obstacle to the manipulation of other people, he will seek to destroy you and will watch with rapture as you lose everything step by step. And the point here is not that he or she wants to appropriate your things or status; they are simply obsessed with seeing you completely destroyed and stripped of everything you had. They demand that you pay just such a price for not allowing yourself to be persecuted any longer. Don't let them take everything from you. Do what you can to keep at least some of what you have... of course, if it's not too late.
If you want to save your job, get in touch with your superiors and let them know that you are in a relationship with a vindictive and deceitful psychopath and that you are taking steps to get out of this relationship and cut all ties. This is a sure preventive measure, because the psychopath will try to take your job from you. This is the usual revenge of a psychopath, which is always expressed in a similar attack.
If the bosses are warned about this, they are less likely to believe the new information that begins to appear to them. For example, about the fact that you received bribes at the workplace, were engaged in theft, used or sold drugs, spread rumors that discredited the authorities, shared confidential information about the company with competitors, and so on and so forth. Regardless of the specific content, all stories of this kind will sound very plausible (to the smallest detail) and will be aimed at discrediting and firing you.
As soon as the psychopath begins to understand that you are avoiding him, do not communicate and do not spend time with him, if he feels that it has become more difficult to manipulate you, he will certainly begin (if he has not already begun) to pour mud on you; especially if he understands that you suspect that he is a psychopath. Sometimes - and such cases are quite rare, when if your relationship was limited to light flirting for a short time and did not have time to develop deeper - the psychopath may not see you as a threat to continue manipulating other people, and therefore will allow you to simply disappear from his life and in the end just let go.
Be firm as a rock
Be firm in your decision. Don't respond to the psychopath's counterattacks. If you want to communicate something to this person, it should sound quiet and firm - as if you are a rock. He or she must understand that he or she will not be able to manipulate you or provoke your irritation or fear in return, no matter what and how he says. You must maintain good posture: back straight, shoulders free, calm gaze, positive attitude, smiling and exuding self-confidence. Even if inside you are not sure of anything at all, on the outside you should look like a calm and firm person. Because any sign of your weakness will be instantly noticed and used against you: either as an opportunity to offer yourself to help, or as an excuse to launch a new offensive.
Protect your Reputation
Protect any positive reputation you have. Psychopaths have a unique ability to influence people's opinions about themselves and who is being manipulated.
Try not to take it personally. I know it's hard to lose the support of friends, family, co-workers, and possibly society in general, but you can't blame people who have succumbed to the psychological spell that the psychopath spiders around the world like a spider.
The most important task of a psychopath is to maintain his reputation. He needs to be seen as an innocent victim in the eyes of as many people as possible, and he has a tremendous amount of experience in proving his impeccable reputation, regardless of who else's reputation will suffer in the process of proving it.
Be prepared for the worst
A psychopath will use anything you say or do against you. Expect attacks, slander, slander, gossip, denials like "that was a long time ago" or "oh, that was a joke"; statements that he or she was upset, tired, or deceived. These attacks can take on countless possible forms. If you contact via the Internet, please note that your social contacts are easy prey for a psychopathic attack.
Facebook friends, twitter followers, friends and partners in linked-in or any other social networks are very easy prey, and the psychopath will not hesitate to launch a wide media campaign against you on social networks.
Document everything
Take photos, save screenshots, copy conversations, save conversations as audio files. Keep hard copies of everything you can to document any interaction or statement made by your psychopath; keep these documents in a safe place. Pay attention to what and how you say. Act as if your every word is being recorded and can be read in the future by a jury or prosecutor, and can also be taken out of context in an attempt to make you sound like a lunatic.
Perhaps someday the people who once trusted you will be able to see the truth, but even so, if your psychopath was a master of his craft, they still won't be able to fully trust you as they used to be. Even after the essence of the psychopath is fully revealed to the public eye.
So don't hold on to the false hope of one day refuting all the undeserved accusations you've been subjected to. In most cases, the effects of such accusations are permanent, although they may lessen over time. So...
Forgive yourself
Most importantly, forgive yourself. You are not a criminal, you are just a victim. And as a victim, you may have seen yourself as vulnerable or in compromising circumstances, and you may have felt like a fool. But you are not stupid. Anyone can become a victim of an experienced psychopath, and this happens every day in all areas of life and in all walks of life.
You couldn't have foreseen this... but now that you know, you're less likely to be a victim again... and maybe you can help others see the signs - or at least be aware - that there is evil people, human wolves in sheep's clothing who seek to destroy other people's lives without any remorse.
All materials on the site are presented for informational purposes, approved by a certified doctor Mikhail Vasilyev, diploma series 064834, according to license No.
LO-77-005297 dated September 17, 2012, by a certified specialist in the field of psychiatry, certificate number 0177241425770.
Who are the victims of psychopaths and narcissists? If you're stuck in a destructive relationship: evalinger — LiveJournal
Once I was interested in the topic of who and why becomes a victim of psychopaths, and I even belonged to various communities to help victims of destructive people, so I had plenty of time and data to research this topic.
Here will be listed 4 types of people who become victims of psychopaths and narcissists.
Many outsiders were indignant that in such communities there is a rule to always take the side of the victim and criticize the rapist. Which is psychologically correct, even if the "victim" is not really a victim.
And if you yourself come with a similar problem to a psychologist who, from the first consultation, starts looking for flaws in you and says that you are to blame for everything, then feel free to run away from such a grief psychologist, most likely such a psychologist is either not a professional or a sadistic psychopath himself.
But at the same time, you should think about if the psychologist is always too "softly laying" and only pities you as a victim, and criticizes the rapist.
This is a sure sign that the psychologist is not interested in solving your problems, but simply wants to extort your money for as long as possible. Everything needs a reasonable approach.
After you have been pitied, you have lost heart and recovered a little, the psychologist must work with you to figure out why you got into such an unpleasant situation.
After analyzing the information available to me about people who suffered from narcissists and psychopaths, I identified 4 types of victims.
1. Resource Victims
2. Boundary Victims
3. Masochistic Victims
4. Introverted Narcissists Victims.
Resource Victims (RJ)
This type of victim usually does not have significant disorders in the mental apparatus or neuroses. It simply has significant resources for social predators.
For example:
-Money
-Highly paid job
-Real estate
-Connections
-Beauty
Resource victims more often than others become the prey of highly functional psychopaths who hunt them not by chance, but with malicious intent and approach seduction fundamentally and professionally.
The hunt proceeds according to the following scenario:
Before the stage of seduction begins, the predator learns all possible information about the victim in order to create an image specifically for it, in which the victim quickly falls in love. This tactic can be seen in the comedy Hitch's Quick Pickup Method, where one of the methods of seduction was a tactic when the main character, by "pure chance", was fond of the same things and loved the same thing as the girl he was seducing.
Then, when the victim falls in love and becomes attached enough, the psychopath abruptly distances himself and pretends to lose his feelings and may even disappear for a short time.
And after returning, the victim is already ready herself and voluntarily give the resources needed by the psychopath, if only the psychopath is with her again and remains emotionally available.
But usually RJ has high self-esteem, and after a few months they can understand what the predator actually intended and that they are simply draining their resources to him. And as soon as they understand this, they get rid of the parasite without regrets.
Usually the relationship "RJ - Predator" lasts no more than a year.
That is, in such a scenario, RJ is really not to blame for attracting a predator, and it is useless to analyze or look for patterns in this case. Here the rule from the poem “And you are to blame for the lamb that I just want to eat ...” applies.0009
Victims with personal boundaries violated. (ZhNG)
Such victims grew up in dysfunctional families (with psychopathic parents, drug addicts, hyper-controlling or vice versa indifferent or infantile) in which their personal boundaries were regularly violated.
And they failed to develop an idea of their own and others' boundaries and what is "good and what is bad" before entering adulthood. They are very insecure, with extremely low self-esteem. Therefore, destructive people easily identify ZhNG, claiming their resource of "obedience".
Women usually fall prey to narcissists and marry or enter into relationships with them without having experience of other relationships with men.
Reading the stories of WNG, I got the impression that narcissists and psychopaths are specifically looking for convenient women who are used to low standards in relationships and who can be hung up on any noodles and further aggravate the inferiority complex and instill feelings of guilt.
Such relationships last from 3-5 years, but then the victim cannot stand it and gets a nervous breakdown, seeks psychological help, as a result of which he understands that such relationships are far from the norm and breaks destructive relationships.
Women easily accept criticism and different opinions about their situation, read psychological literature, having figured it out, no longer step on the same rake and then happily arrange their personal lives.
When communicating with ZhNG, you will have a feeling that the world around you is upside down and that the standards of life are very low. When ZhNG will tell as a matter of course that she had to wait for the abuser for 3 hours in the cold, from which she caught pneumonia and spent a month in the hospital. Moreover, such stories will be served under the sauce "What's wrong, it's an everyday thing."
Women easily agree that they owe the whole world, and they are worse than other people, but they are not owed anything.
Masochistic victims (MF)
Such "victims" often make the people around them their executioners, even if they don't want to.
A man who enters into a relationship with a masochist may himself later be psychologically gutted.
The psychological dysfunction of a masochist lies in the fact that she will provoke a bad attitude towards her until the "executioner" falters. Relationships between the MF and the opposite sex develop according to two scenarios:
If the partner has a normal mental structure, then after the provocations of the masochist / she to torment her / him, the partner, who does not want to get involved in the game, leaves without explaining the reasons.
This will give the MF a reason to suffer and blame the tormentor for what he/she did so meanly and she/he was abandoned.
If you try to explain to a masochist his destructive patterns in relationships, he/she will not hear you.
The second scenario of relationships, when MFs still find their real tormentors in the face of malignant narcissists and low-functioning psychopaths, where everyone gets their portion of psychological relaxation in these relationships.
Such relationships can last for decades. Women themselves do not want to leave their tormentors, they are in co-dependency and mental symbiosis with their rapists and always do not leave hope to cure and save them.
MF do not want to hear criticism and are not capable of analysis, even if they clearly point out their mistakes. They love to revel in grief and suffering for many years.
MFs often begin their stories with the phrase “He/she was already the fifth narcissist/psychopath in my life…” “There are only narcissists/psychopaths around…”
In communication with masochists, after a period of "good communication", which can last from 10 minutes to a month, the masochist will definitely provoke you into a bad attitude towards him.
Victims Introverted Narcissists (IDNs)
Become victims of smarter narcissists and psychopaths, as well as GR.
All canvases of complaints and claims about the evil abuser and their pains can be expressed in one nursery rhyme:
"Pussy is crying in the hallway,
0120 Evil people, good kitty,
Do not let them steal sausages.».
These are just those men who believe that the wife should work, serve them completely in everyday life, and they will lie on the couch and give her a whole stamp in the passport. And when the wife, having figured out what she got, throws the loafer-parasite into the street, and sue him for alimony. Such a JIN complains about the dishonorable behavior of his wife, and that he has the right on the grounds that he is a man.
Both men and women from this category like to argue that people should not be judged by external resources, beauty, money, education. All people are brothers, etc. But these rules apply only to themselves, it is low-resource women and men who want to get a partner much more resourceful than themselves without giving anything in return.
But if they want to be with them a partner equal to them or lower, who bought into their ideas about “equality, brotherhood”, he will immediately be called almost crazy and will be devalued and they will explain to him who he is and where he should go.
(Of course, I don't include in this category people who really believe that a person cannot be evaluated as a thing)
They always devalue their higher-resource partners, and artificially inflate their importance. In their stories, something always comes through from “But I condescended / went to him such a nonentity, but he did not appreciate it.”
When you honestly calculate the resources of a god/goddess and a "nothingness", it often turns out to be the other way around.
They like to think in terms of evaluating the other as things and to count beauty, talents, money, etc. almost in grams. They like to argue who deserves whom, and who does not deserve whom.
At the same time, they themselves are outside the categories of evaluation, because they attribute to themselves an exceptional position in the world and are terribly offended when you try to evaluate their resources according to the same trading scheme as they evaluate others.
